Adele Jones, Connie Dunlop, and DeEtte Dunlop

00:03 Good afternoon. My name is Adele Jones. I am 65 years old. Today's date is Thursday, July 1st 2021. I'm here in my home in Rochester, New York, and the name of the person with whom I'll be speaking as my mother Connie Dunlop. As long as my sister deette Dunlop. So we are mother and daughters.

00:38 I,

00:40 My name is Connie Dunlop. I'm 89 years old. I almost said 90.

00:48 Today's date is Thursday, July 1st 2021. We're here in Rochester, New York. The name of the conversation. Partner is my lovely daughters.

01:09 Hey, hi. I'm deette Dunlop. I'm 66. Today is July 1st, 2021. Where in Rochester New York name of the conversation. Partner, my sister Adele in my mother Connie.

01:26 Oh, I just did both of those are your mother and daughters?

01:35 Yes, and my mom started to say, she is a few months shy of her 90th birthday, November 10th. 2021 is her birthday will be celebrated, which will be 90. We were blessed to have our father with us until he was almost 93, but he passed last year on on May 9th, but it is interesting about me made a significant time. And back in 2019. Our brother found something called a story worth which releases every if you subscribe to this for a year, it releases questions every week.

02:29 To the person who is is, is the recipient of this gift and these gifts, these questions cover a wide range of information about that person and that person is given opportunity to record the answers. And, and at the end of the year, write those answers down and they are collected and they are put into a book, my parents were married 67 years and next to their marriage are mother. And storyworth was truly a marriage. It was something she committed to and it was something. She found excellent in doing and I find it particularly profound that. The last question, our mother receive because again, our brother encourages to get it, we got his mom's three children, got this gift for her. The last question, came around Mother's Day Mother's Day.

03:28 A May 29th of 2020 and it was the same day or dads same week or dead transition. And so it seems like on that that one day Mom became a single woman. But not without first, putting down, putting down her story. She has a natural ability of writing coherent. Sequential stories with deep graphic details, and we got a chance to know our mother as a little girl at the young lady as a new mom and then our own memory certainly would kick in, so we found it, amazing. So, when we found that storycorps was coming to town, we then said my sister was a devotee of NPR, she found out about this.

04:28 Dad, wouldn't this be a wonderful thing to do for mom and her ninetieth year is the gift for giving her but it's to get for giving myself and so I'm just here with my mom and my sister and just seizing upon another opportunity to record history and two to point out our uniqueness, as well as our similarities, and to have another Keepsake for the progeny yet to come. I'm so so like I said, my mom

05:01 Will be 90 this year. She was married for 67 years to our dad, and she has taken her time and and gone through the grieving process. The one I think she said to us recently and I'm just rejoicing that she'll be able to get through. This is that in owning and allowing the feelings, the surface she fell in love with her father, all over again, and I'm wondering why I'm heading my mother and I'm wondering again, then you can edit this out, but does she need to be on camera?

05:46 Okay, so Mom talk about falling in love with our dad, all over again, going through some of the pictures. I saw some pictures when he was like, 20/21 one particular and put a picture in particular. Was the one he has sent not to me. He had sent it to his uncle James. And I, he was dressed in his khakis. He had earphones on and he had the microphone because he was in the Korean War.

06:32 And he was,

06:35 What do they call it? Because he he receive coordinates forward Observer. His position in the military was a forward Observer. Yes, and he just wanted his uncle to see the picture and when I looked at it it was the picture cuz he was like

06:56 20.

06:59 For I think 24 25 and that's even 22 cuz you were 18 you're saying. Yeah, so but anyway, yes. Yes. I saw this young man. Cut this swath in his military attire. And then what did your heart do? It? Just went to the water. I absolutely had that feeling. I had when I used to see him, you know in my ears and and 89. Wow.

07:37 Yeah, and I saw some other pictures.

07:45 Going forward. Now, when did not retired. You know, how we used to go on cruises and I just happened to come across. I don't know. I'm looking for something else. I just come across these two pictures when we were on board the ship.

08:08 And by this time, you know, he's both of us are in our fifties. We were in our 16 and 0.

08:28 That's why I married that got a sign from he had hazel eyes and when I called the econ Brown, no is a pecan analyzing Brown.

08:51 I don't know. It was it which I'm not saying that I couldn't get the rest of my chores done doing the day or that I didn't, you know, it was it was like

09:06 You and it was kind of sad to, because

09:13 In 67 years by the time, you know, it's lying if you get into a habit at one of my habits and was

09:26 I remember when I first met him when we were first married. Tell him talk to me cuz I just love the way you talk.

09:38 And then I thought, wow, in the 60s. I can remember, 60, shut up. You don't remember your first love? Because William is my first and last but not exciting. Is

10:04 You know, the grieving process. We don't know what that is, immense unique, you know, it's a unique experience. But what a blessing that while after 67 years. Yes, you wanted him in that space with you, but we can have more silent but sitting here watching TV, and I'm in my room reading. Still want that person with the gift of allowing yourself to grieve. Allows you to experience your first love and I just feel that. That's just another blessing blessing everyone. And so I definitely wanted our family to know that, you know, for some crazy Goofy.

10:56 We all need to sit down with the therapist reason your children often don't want to hear about the romance of their parents. I wish I don't, I don't recommend, but in our maturity, we've come to really treasure because we know you're not saying she was perfect for you and Dad were perfect. But you are staying together. It was perfect. It was so. So I thought you know that I definitely wanted to mention that but as Mom again and storyworth we got to know how do you spell did 18? There was a question. One of the questions in storyworth said, what is one of the bravest things you ever done? And what was the outcome? And so now we got a chance and that question to to find out about our mother a part for my father.

11:56 And I guess you was a full-time. I mean to the working mom, but she always was our married mom, and there was very little, she did, ER.

12:11 Did not do without first, considering our father, but this was an opportunity for us to get to know you apart from Dad. And so you told us the story and, and it did, The Story begins in Blytheville, Pennsylvania, where blythedale Pennsylvania, where you, where you grew up and

12:35 Back in 1955, Tennessee, Ernie. Ford produced, one of his biggest selling song, 16, tons. And one of the lines in that song was, oh my soul to the company store to The Company Store. And you said, and you said that, that was it until you grew up in a coal mining town like hell is in Pennsylvania. So it was not officially segregated but they're still was the practice of separate and not but I wanted the family to know what was it like to

13:20 So to speak. O your soul to the company store. What it? What was that experience?

13:27 You in public housing? Yeah, but we didn't know it was down but it was a double house and it was owned by the Koch company. And of course they took the ramp out. So I would imagine, I never saw my dad's paycheck, but I would imagine that he and I don't know if he got paid every week or every two weeks.

14:02 But I would imagine say if he made $100 by the time, the rent came out.

14:13 And I don't know if they had to pay for the cold, but the cold was delivered to the Full House which belonged to the house. Each two-up two-down have their own old house and out house and you would go to the store and you would buy whatever was you know, your Essentials and you and probably just sign for it and I did it would come out of your check and only the person.

14:46 And I'm since Mom didn't go to the store that I went to. I usually went to the store. I don't know how.

14:57 I just absolutely believe that the people that work there at the store, knew everybody and knew that. If I came to get bread on YouTube videos on my dad's tab, right? Because I don't remember, it was signing anything and I don't know what Mom did that a few times that she did go by. And then there were times that

15:25 You couldn't go over.

15:30 A certain amount unless you had permission to go over, and you have to buy your groceries in that pay. You couldn't go over to the okay. Okay, okay. And

15:46 But I suspect they're again, depending on.

15:50 You know, the person and the clerk, there were things that could be done by the company store and they sold everything and it's all in one regard.

16:04 Is we talked about this living in Morgantown as a young one? We felt we were Rich because we had family, we had food. We had supervision rules boundaries and limitations. And so we were, we were nurtured. But when we moved in the 60s from Morgantown to Rochester, we tickle, you realize I look up a store as a young person. You're still going up there, getting stuff and there's no money exchange, but it it did not it, it's however, rough that situation as a child use.

17:04 Still found joy and excitement. And so one of the stories, very briefly when it ask. What is one of the bravest things you've ever done. And what was the outcome, mom, wrote? I'm not sure if this is his fault on their bravery or foolhardy, but to me, I remember feeling frightened and brave. And if I live and my mom finds out if she is going to kill me. However in my hometown of Blytheville, Pennsylvania, there were two communities /, the railroad tracks, the communities will call the upper patch and the lower patch. I lived at this time of the lower patch. We had relatives in the upper patch in our school bus stop and the main roads were in the upper patch. We spent a good deal of time there. There was this was around the early. Forties at this particular time of day. Are we supposed to be home? Crossing the tracks with a little dicey at times. Some time ago, a young boy was injured crossing under the cars. The result of Crossing grade was

18:04 However, to me the gray was placed in the wrong area. It was not place. Close to my house in times. Like these you go under and between the car. That was what I did. Unfortunately, standing between the line of railroad cars. They began to shift. I couldn't tell which line of cars were moving at first. I thought I would wait, but then the noise was frightening. All I wanted was out. I walked along to where I wanted to exit the car, shift it again, and I thought I knew which cars were moving. I darted under and out as fast as I could. It was the wrong line by move fast and safely under the slow-moving train and never never never cross from under the slow-moving. Train. I'm sorry under a train again to this day. I remember that dizzy feeling.

19:04 And I also remember for the cross and gray was located presently. I love the count railroad cars, and I thank God for being with me that night while I was where I shouldn't have been. Was I bring maybe was I wrong? Absolutely. Am I grateful every day of my life. So Mom, did you tell anybody? It's so when we you shaking your head, know my brother read the story, it was the first time he'd ever heard, kill your brother, who is 85. I called him on his birthday and he said he had read the book and he ever found out some things that he had never known for.

19:51 But I never told anybody about that. I was first of all, I thought that Mom would not have killed me. She would have given the honor to Daddy, but I

20:11 Somehow I another I knew.

20:16 That I had gotten out of there with my life and I didn't want to reach his aunt again. So in general, did you see yourself?

20:26 As a person that could learn a lesson once or to do cabbage, only want or where you, there's some things you said going to take another another, another near-miss know. I was so adventurous that I learned first time, things like rubber track.

20:48 Over and over again, you know, there were so many other implements. That was the first, you know, the first side of this was the first time that but I know I look back and now I have such a strong appreciation for the Lord because when

21:14 In our face vase. The Lord says that I will never leave you nor forsake you, I'm always with you. I know for a fact. Yeah, at 89, because he was there then and he's here now still sending me Revelation, right, right back and losing your dad. That is is, I can't even explain it because it's the first time I've ever gone through it before, but even in this, I am finding out new things. And one of the things that I have found in Greece,

22:02 Is that there is still new adventures that you can still be happy about and I am so grateful that I married your daddy men because it's

22:21 It was a gift. It was a gift and you have eyes to see it. And that's, that's so many times. We don't and I know you see it more now and that has caused me to have to dig deep, but I also would think it would cause you to look with Even Better Eyes on the blessings that are coming down your way. How old were you running anymore than 10:00 or 11:00. So but you were able to access a memory that even predate the harrowing experience of the train story words. Ask. What is one of your earliest childhood memories a mom wrote. What? A good question. I have been blessed to reach my age. However, having said that I am aware that at my age my memory and some cases is zilch.

23:21 In some cases right on and in some cases very sketchy. But here's one of them. One day. I remember telling my mom but something smells like a wet dog, and she laughed Berger said that they smell brings back a memory. I haven't been in a closed place, looking out or something round, and it raining, but I was warming sleepy. When I sold it to my mom. She even told me something. She said, Connie, we used to live in another house, close to one of the Pennsylvania rivers. And I don't even want to try this to say, Yakagany Yakagany. You did was called Mahna Mahna, Mahna gala gala High because the founding fathers and the river flows through, West, Virginia.

24:21 Theory of the respect of Pennsylvania with this a very interesting and complicated and maybe Native American sounding Rivers. Anyway Side by anyway, one year. We let it out. And Mom said we move to a house brother awake. Now, I don't remember that house. But she said when I started walking she had a time. So what age would you think that would be an idiot to no more than three? More than three? I was never. Wish you put me. My only play area was the porch. We had a small yard next to a fence on the other side of the fence was a rose. Then land leading down to the river in our small yard with a doghouse for Daddy's hunting dog. One day. I went missing for a. Of time. I don't remember this of course, but apparently this is why I'm told Mom tied me to the porch sometimes.

25:19 Yes. Adventures off the porch. It was raining and I guess the dog house was closer. They found me asleep in the doghouse. I can't even imagine what my mother went through. I'm sure God, prompted her to look inside the Dog House who looks for missing child in the doghouse. I'm guessing that I'm remembering is a sleeping child of three, two or three, looking out at the rain. From a small, smelly, dog house. I wonder if the same dog that went mad. I'll never know God, you are awesome, but

25:56 So, do you still remember that smell? And remember us?

26:00 And was that the first and last time, you know, I can remember one time.

26:09 Is there was a little boy.

26:13 And,

26:16 Obviously, it smell like a wet dog, because that's that came back.

26:27 But no, I can't say that I that was a reoccurring thing. It was just the only thing I forgot about that. Oh, yeah. Well, when my share that story, I mean again how many people get a chance to get a memory from their parents? Two year, old self.

26:52 And I and you know, again, I'm not trying to do an ad. But thank you storyworth, but it started a conversation and we were able to ask you these questions. And now that we have a granddaughter or great-granddaughter. She's going to be able to have these stories to be able to share and and was storycorps even more. So you can reach in Beach, a bigger audience, potentially to, to find out about the stores. So, so me, I found that amazing, but when my mom wrote that story is so resonated with me that when later on in the book, there was another question I did, I'm blessed to say, I saw the connection. So Mom was asked what things are the, are you proud of in your life? And she says, one of the things that we want to use the term proud, but one of the things I'm grateful for is my job at zero.

27:52 I was hired as an office clerk on June 26th. 26, 1966 were there in 1966 in Rochester to New York at Xerox Corporation? Certainly, there were black executive certainly there, you know, blacks were a part of the world population as you are women with very few and we're there. I know your boss white female with a white female. But where were there? What was the order? Predominately white man? Then some black, and then a few women, and then a few less black females, something like that, or something like that and you

28:44 I know prior to Xerox. You worked in some kind of office, kind of capacity at the hospital and the phone company.

28:52 Yes, but how did you know to apply for this job? How did you have the confidence that you could have this job? There is another story there. Well, maybe I didn't tell that particular story. But I remember our guidance counselor. We lived in a Township and the guidance counselor for McKeesport. That's where I would have gone to high school came out and said he was advising us as to what courses to take and one of the things that he what he did. I can't remember his name and I can remember what he look like. He was a very kind looking man, so I don't believe to him right now that it was racial, right, but he he was advising.

29:52 Girls. All the girls are all the minority girls. All the girls.

29:59 The white girls, he was advising them asking what their interest or and then he would advise him, what they would take cuz there were a number of it, but he never asked what the black girls in. There were only four of us. He never asked us what our interest was. He just recommended. We took home economics and Little Miss so that you can be domestics of some sort in some capacity. And, of course, it got my back up and I'm thinking my back has been up since I was two years old because I said, no, I was taking business courses and that's what I did. So consequently because I have taken some business courses. When we came to Rochester. My first job was Medical Center. Medical secretary on Strong, Memorial Hospital, men's medical ward.

30:59 That was my first job. And, and even when I went to Morgantown, I applied for jobs that are typically all people apply for an unjust, the black side in the price, for a cleaning job or anything. And my first job, there was playground supervisor, and I don't think they ever had a black playground supervisors before, but that was just games. But anyway, in Rochester, then the second job. I got, I got down at AT&T in here, in Rochester, on Fitzhugh Street, and I was a secretary based on the job that I had at 3 at Memorial, and then, from there.

31:55 I got a job. One of the girls was leaving upgrading and she worked. She played golf with one of the secretaries at the Sera. And she knew that they were hiring and encouraged me to go. And that's when I arrive June 26th 1966. She said is my first day of work. My boss was Margaret Allen, she became my mentor and my friend maybe more. She was like an older sister Margaret was very picky and many people are glad. She was my boss and hug bears, but I loved her. She was a true friend. When what I most like about her was her faith in me. She taught me everything. She knew about a job. She encouraged me to take every in-house class. That was offered eventually she retired. And I got her job and title, not sure about the money, but I was satisfied. I think it was the

32:55 Kristen and I was the first 9u00b0 manager at Xerox. To be a high school graduate only and be responsible for thousands of advertising dollars was remarkable crazy. I didn't designate you got the dollars and heading outside Ad Agency in for product people who handle that. But my boss and I do the grunt work but none the less. I was the in-house manage your advertising service with more want more info on any or all drugs products. See me. I Ain't That a Kick before I became a manager. Was one of many employees, who is photographed in. And several product brochures. I wish I had stayed them, but as a manager, I love having my own office, eye out, fitted it with the personal items, houseplants a desk lamp in Amway room, deodorizer and soothing background music.

33:51 I stalk my office drawers with instant oatmeal and tea bags and was ever ready to offer any visitor, a welcoming smile, a listening are in a quick. Nosh this little raggedy girl, who once fell asleep in the doghouse was blessed to create another small space, when she could offer warmth and safety to all those who knocked on the door. It humbles me to think how much my God has done for me. And it is business Choice, 140 Mi and you come from families who believe in God and education and most of all love as we pause to let my mother crying a little bit because you know truth there's nothing like truth. There's nothing like sweet you and I yeah when she first told me about

34:51 I found out about the doghouse. I immediately remembered that office because I too had the joy of working at Xerox for a couple of years.

35:03 So Mom and I were there at the same time and I was a very dramatic, you know, I've been coming professional who had a lot of lot to say and felt this and decide how many times and I would sometimes come to your office and it would just be like, oh, and walking into our mother's office at Xerox was like, going from Canon EOS. When you open the door and weigh it out. In the old factory system is like Titan and alert, you can go in and you look up and you felt like you're almost at the tropical jungle cuz she had The Ficus a philodendron that we'll start at one end of the office and encircle the other office. And just, as you're grasping the smell, and the jungle to see, you see her sitting there behind the

36:03 With water, or you can have cheese or instant oatmeal. And she has the have heard office light and desk lamp on, and you shut the door, just like, where am I?

36:25 Is there a?

36:27 So, I can set a timer at 3 Mom. But Mom, I know people came into that office and I know people have the same response weather people on the floor that they took advantage of your boss come in. Sometimes I was always busy. I did my work, you know, I just felt like and I had my radio on over here and it was on 3w Jeep. And sometimes Larry Jones would come in there, a God and, you know, just unburdened himself.

37:27 I heard a lot of stories in there, you know, but it's, my office was like, Vegas. What happens in your office date in your office. Did you were you more of an employee who?

37:45 It seemed as if these things have come to you you were prepared the bed come to you. So were you the employee was content to let things come by the post to. I've got a plan. Let me go after something. I never had a plan. I think maybe in the other areas. Maybe that's why.

38:14 I never had a plan. All Margaret said to me, was take, whatever course it was. So I had all these six of them that were up on the wall. I never planned it. I don't know if you had any occasion to go to Mom's office because I'm remembering the plan and I'm remembering is your office at all yet. I must have those.

39:14 One of those kind of things at your workstation and you told me you can we go back to the office to work. I'll be moving my cubicle, or I will be in a new cubicle and I asked, and I asked him if you know which one he said, we're going to put you in Angela's life. It doesn't have the lamp. And so I remember when I walked area and it was it was like yours, but I bought that area and this is this is so significant because you don't covet and not in the office back that you honored your self buy only what you want. But now it does seem that this is just one of the other one of the other things.

40:14 And so I'm just so grateful that we had this opportunity to do this, and it's been 40 minutes, and I'm at work and we just, thank you Mom. And thank you, dear and thank you storycorps, for giving this up, giving us this opportunity.