Alexia Dukes and Maria Rivera

00:00 Is Alexia Dukes? I'm 25 years old. Today is June 5th 2025 in Griffith, Indiana. I'm here with Maria Rivera and she is my colleague. Just really really close friends.

00:17 My name is Maria Rivera. I am 47 today is June 5th 2020. I'm in Crown Point, Indiana. My partner is Alexia dukes and she is my colleague and great friend.

00:34 Alexia Duke, I want to ask you. Do you remember the first time that we met?

00:44 Definitely. I met Maria Rivera when I was coming in to set up my classroom.

00:52 Mind you I was a first-time teacher. I came in with my father. It was like 90 degrees in the classroom itself. I had sweat running down one side of my face is very curly hair. That was probably the size of Angela Davis's afro and

01:13 Maria came out to greet me and it was just like an angel had come down from heaven to help me smile on her face. She looks like a work of art and she came over and gave me a million tips on how to set up my classroom and I just thought to myself my goodness. I have found my mentor when I remember meeting you for the first time. I just remember I open the door and I saw this older gentleman at looked at you and I was like, oh my God, it's a brand new teacher amazing when you just whoever you felt you look completely put together and professional-looking even when you might have thought. I looked like a work of art but I felt like I look like I just came out of a barn because the night Breeze and

02:13 87 is way less. Look at those quick.

02:18 And you just look so ready to go and so eager and so

02:27 Professional Insurance, and your father was beaming and I was so sick by that because I have to tell you I've met us so many parents but I have rarely met a college parents and it was clear that whatever had happened in your life up to that point like he was so excited and so happy to meet the people that you are going to work with and see this place and I was reminded of what a cool is like it should be this community place. We should know who each other's families are and not just for students each other. It was a beautiful time. I thought

03:08 Give me a pass for Santa Maria. Can you turn the volume down on your computer?

03:16 How about that?

03:19 Okay, when you thought about teaching your first year what were some of the things that you expected to happen?

03:31 Well to be honest and as arrogant as this may seem when I first started teaching I expected all of the students to like me because I was so close to Asian them and I looked like them which was a huge reason of why I wanted to teach and Gary in the first place. I had been living in New York before I decided to go back to college. I had an apartment that was probably the size of most people's kitchens and I was out of school for the longest time and it wasn't until I was working at an IHOP and a girl slid me her English homework and said, oh my God, I can't do this anymore. Can you please help me out a lot. So I looked at it with a Shakespearean sonnet.

04:23 I did it. I broke it down for her and she was like says if you can do this then what the heck are you doing working here go back to school.

04:33 So I went back to school and I had been in this place where there were all of these incredibly intellectual kids who were so forward-thinking and had the future ahead of them. And you know, I just thought when I got there like that's exactly how my kids are going to be. We're going to get along great and then I walked in first day. It was like Yay the sun is shining we're here and they were like, who is this crazy lady? Oh my goodness. She's like something on the movie. Nobody is ever this happy and

05:13 I kind of forgot the place that I had been in.

05:19 I was teaching 11th grade at a public charter school in Gary Indiana and I had kind of forgotten the place that I had been in when I was their age. The sun shining is just wasn't there the way that it was the way that it is now.

05:40 And it's so funny how just a few years like you can forget how far you've come. So when I really sat down and thought about it and thought about possibly some of the trauma that they had experienced or we're experiencing. I was like wait a minute. I was just there for years ago or five years ago and it was a total reality check on me and really like sometimes my happiness and my unwillingness to kind of meet them where they are could have come off as like oppressive than just kind of like, hey, you know, forget everything that's going on in the outside world come here and be happy with me in this classroom. So it was a

06:24 Totally different than what I'm sorry. Can you turn the volume down on your computer and helps with cycling?

06:41 Sorry to have to go ahead.

06:43 I think that one of the reasons I was drawn to you outside of the fact that we were both teaching English High School in Gary was that you did have this light an expectation that the things that you had undergone in your life would lead to a natural connection with students. And also I think because we both experienced a lot of movement as young people and our own drama. I came into it exactly the same way. I was older than you and you know, I never knew that Shakespeare was the thing. I got into college because I was in a bar talking to a woman about Shakespeare and she was like, oh, where did you go to university? And I was like, oh I don't I haven't opened be in a bar at 4 in the morning. Probably just go and come and see me.

07:43 And he's like how do you know so much about Sheetz here? And I was like, well, he was just said everything but all the feelings whether I agree or not all the feelings were present and it's still one of the things I used to connect to students today. And I love nurturing that in you and your students is like see you make those connections and throw those ideas for yourself. I think I've said this to you a million times like you can't lose your light and remember that there's has just been beaten down. So badly you have to remain the same person. But really if you want to see your ego destroyed atomically, you should go into teaching. There's no better play every idea and preconceived notion you ever had if you're good at it.

08:37 I think we're both good at.

08:40 This year I think you know when we set out upon the year we envisioned like he's normal trials and tribulations right into it a month you're dealing with. Oh my God, like what I thought would be interesting isn't going to be the most interesting and that still happens to me 15 years in but we didn't expect to not see our students within a few months and not be able to you know, we started to develop all these relationships and you were working so hard to make these recognitions about yourself and your practice and develop and then all of a sudden everything was just cut to a house and I really wanted to hear

09:27 In a new and different place. Like how did that feel? You know, you're halfway through your first year of teaching and then the brakes gets slammed on everything you've been doing then what happens? Like, how do you think that

09:45 So it was very

09:52 I was in a weird place when the brakes got slammed because I was at that point so tired.

10:02 You know you you said it best if you want your ego destroy you go into teaching and a lot of my expectations had been stomped on because I just didn't realize how many gaps had been there before. I got to the students and there was such a process of reteaching things. I thought they had already gotten and trying to find literature that you know related to them, which is cliche, but it's so true. I mean you need to find it.

10:41 And so when they made the announcement over the intercom due to covid-19 we are going to be resuming with distance learning. I was in the room with a lot of my students because there was a dance going on and some of them are more social than others. So they wanted to come and be introverted with me.

11:03 And I really was like, oh my God. Yes. Yes. Yes. We were all excited. We were high-fiving. We were like, we're going to get a break we're all going to be able to be home and rest. And once again when we are actually started the process of Justin's learning it became extremely apparent that this was not going to be rest and that in a lot of ways it was going to be more work and I realized how much I had taken for granted being tired because at least when you're exhausted, you know that you've done everything you can possibly do for them, but when I wasn't with them every single day and I'm sitting there and I'm drinking my tea in my comfortable place. I was like, oh my goodness that I reach out to them enough, you know, you have I have I done everything I could possibly do and I realize that I'm sitting in this comfortable place.

12:03 I know where they are. And I was really heartbreaking for me.

12:07 The day when they announced that we weren't going to return to school and I don't even think they were using pandemic yet. I think they were just saying covid-19 wasn't at school. I had that had a death.

12:23 I'm in the family. And so I wasn't in the building when it happened and I just started getting this barrage of emails and phone calls and it was so funny because it was exactly like that. Like everybody was so tired at that point in the year where everyone's like spring break, whatever that didn't do a thing. Like I need a life and I was I was like, okay. Well this for me personally couldn't happen at a better time. I can finish grieving I can go back to school in a couple weeks going to be cool. You know, they're all going to reach out to my kids. We have such a wonderful team of people that we work at like I wasn't worried and then every day we started getting a different message not just on the news, but from school and I'm grateful to work for people that are as transparent as they can be about what's happening, but it was clear that nobody knew what was going to happen from week-to-week and

13:24 In dealing with students that have suffered extreme trauma the way that our students have I felt like how are they receiving this news? Because now they're not getting it from me. I know when something bad happens in the neighborhood or in the world, like you said we take for granted I can come in in the morning. I'll be there early. I might have a honey bun for you and we can talk it out and like I can see the expression on your face know what's going on at home. I can fill in like you said feeling all these gaps that you need to be your best human being existing self as a teenager. I think that's one of my strong suits is to be able to mold like that to each child, but it was just gone and

14:13 Our students lives are so precarious getting a phone call to a parent is impossible 50% of the time realizing that you know, approximately 1/3 of our students don't have. They are living, you know, when the foster care system or some other arrangement. We know that our school provides food and continue to provide, you know for the community throughout but that's not the same as me knowing I handed you food every day, or I sent you down to his dues cuz I was out or you know, you needed some in the products or you lost your coat or somebody needs to sell your backpack all the jobs that we do that, you know, you're not supposed to account for

15:07 Just lost and I felt so much grief and then I felt selfish or having grief about it. You know, I I I

15:18 You create such an arc as a teacher at the beginning of the year and in your learning like I'm going to okay take it from this kind of chaotic place where I'm figuring out what you know, and how I can help you get to what you need to know by the end of the school year and you're finding this great literature and poetry and bring people to your classroom and talking about trips. You're going to make with kids and then it's just stopped and you're like

15:44 I can do everything online. You are Magnificent the things that you created to make your classroom come alive for students. You were interacting with them constantly making houses video for other teachers like I tried but I don't know that 25 year olds. Like I said, my spirit is here, but like my hurting to carry it all out as I see it. It is not and I really leaned on you and your dad want to say youth but it's not use it was your willingness and eagerness to make this real for the children and for your colleagues and it broke my heart at the same time as it filled my heart up exponentially and I kept telling my students like hold on. I'm going to check with Miss dukes and see what she's doing cuz I'm sure I can do about

16:44 Job of this but yeah, you better was said to me on more than one occasion.

16:53 Burberry you're not being so clear right now and it will be okay. Let me know hold on. Hold on. So I mean we have lots of people to lean on but you are definitely like my number one.

17:09 Rack and not just for me that by way of me and my students.

17:17 When you're going forward now and thinking about next year, like if everything goes perfectly and we get to start school year proper in August, which I'm definitely not a regular prayer, but I pray for for all of our sakes especially the kids. How do you think that all these experiences this year that you didn't see coming or going to shape? How you plan for next year what you think next year should look like

17:47 Well, I'll say that.

17:53 I think that we have so many more resources to draw upon now then we would have if we hadn't gone into this distance learning, you know, I was making videos I had turned myself into this quirky YouTuber and I felt so silly, but now that it's hopefully going to come to an end and I also pray that we are able to see our kids next year. It felt really silly and and sometimes when they would send me emails and text messages and be like, but I still don't get it. It's not very pleasant times to but now when I'm looking over my curriculum, I can say to my cell phone when I can draw upon this video that I did and I can draw upon that video but not only mine I can draw upon the resources of others because there was just a constant Dumbo resources into the computer and it was really fantastic and it's

18:53 Someone credible what technology can do but I think more importantly so incredible but human beings can do cuz it's now the computers that did it was all of our minds coming together and creating these incredible resources. So we think it will help us grow. I think that

19:14 Instead of learning to rely upon technology was actually learn to rely upon each other because the computer can only do so much but when you're far away from people you do feel so alone and where it used to be like I could just run down to your room and burst into tears and save more.

19:37 I'm having the worst day of my life of my teaching career will never get worse than that. I can no longer do that.

19:51 It's so you know why I had to call you.

19:57 I just lost my train of thought. No, I think a lot of people learns like we can put all these resources that are amazing books don't change. You know what I mean? Like I can put the whole book online, but I can't

20:17 Dance it out for you. I can't ask.

20:21 One of the students to dramatically interpret the last lying and you know those like casual fun things that become part of your repertoire and part of one engage student and keep them coming back and paying attention to you and the material that part I couldn't replicate no matter how much time I spend online and

20:47 I think that.

20:49 We do we do go into next year with so much more and I feel especially for those teachers who might be older than me or in the profession for 25 years. Those first couple weeks had to just feel insane because it wasn't a matter of her learning how to do this thing. It was like do this thing? Yeah, because this is the famous happening. There was no way around it. And we expected a lot of students that don't have a lot to give during that time and I was shocked at the number of students who Rose to the occasion. I was also mortified by the number of students who did not have the opportunity to do so because of

21:36 Lack of resources, you know, we were lucky to be at a school that could hand out laptops. But if a person doesn't have access to the internet, we were lucky that people were willing to make these Wi-Fi hot spots all over during you regardless of having two or not. I was so impressed that different people in the community, you know, like my house is going to have a hotspot from this to this if you want to pull up and like you kids are incredible, but there were in here from

22:13 For a month and then it was two months and I knew that everybody on the teams were reaching out every grade level.

22:23 And there were some points where I found myself in the car like okay. I know where the student lives ish.

22:31 If I go out there with a trunk full of Honey Bun.

22:36 I'm going to get a kid.

22:38 And I sure did like I didn't put myself in danger. I didn't put anyone else in danger. I put a thing on the website. That was like listen. I'm looking for someone so whoever can tell me where someone so is extra credit. I'm not going to give you extra credit extra credit human wise you're going to feel like. That's what I added later. I feel like this whole distance learning process taught me so much patience patience with my other colleagues and also patience with my student. I think patience with my other colleagues because as you said, it was no longer a matter of could you please try to learn how to do this thing? It was like, all right, you got to learn how to do this thing and coming from my dinner. You said it's so learning Google classroom for me was like Boo Boo Boo. It was so simple.

23:38 At the beginning especially I was getting constant phone calls. So I'm with some of our colleagues that were like Baby Boomers God bless them or whoever you believe and I had to remember that, you know, it was all a learning process and I also had to remember that there were things that even I still didn't know how to do and I had to reach out to some of my other colleagues who had totally different ideas than me and some that I probably would have never talked to her and be like hey, how do I use this Excel spreadsheet and same thing with my students was learning patience with them because a lot of time I did get to see a creative side of them.

24:38 Don't get to see in the classroom because so many of them are very talented technology technology wise and very creative technology wise, but for the others who are tensed rise to the occasion more face-to-face and unfortunately couldn't rise to the occasion when it was regarding technology.

25:02 I mean I was I was frankly I was upset with them and I I got to this place but I was like, how could you after everything that we've been through everything that I did for you? And I can't believe you didn't turn this thing in then again. It brought me to that place at the beginning of the year where I realized that as much as I was like them. I had also becomes bar room and that's a really really hard thing to take in because you think like I'm a young teacher color. I'm just like them. I know absolutely everything there is to know about you know, and just realizing how the process of becoming a college students and then becoming a professional and becoming a grown-up had to remove me from them. So again, like returning to this place of humanity where I had to you know, remember what it's like to to struggle and to learn

26:02 And I think that I don't think I know you totally helped me with that process because I would come to you so many times because frankly in 20 year is when people ask me what do you want to be like in 20 years Alexi, I'd like I want to be like Maria Rivera.

26:24 I would have come and see you and I'll be like I'm so frustrated about this thing and he would take me away from this thing and remind me to focus on the humanity.

26:35 Thank you. That makes me feel like everything I want to be as a person and a teacher and I always feel like you know, well your own self. You always feel like you fall short, but if somebody else recognizes it in you that means everything thank you for saying that and I think that probably students will say the same thing about you now, right?

26:58 That's the point. I always think of teaching like I want to make humans. I want to live with and I don't want to make like dumped into them. Right but as people I want them to be generous with themselves and willing to learn and reminding you to be generous with yourself has been one of the great gifts this year to me because you have so much whether you feel it or not in a moment and it's so fun to remind you that it's all just right there.

27:37 When we near

27:40 I think you brought up to something super interesting about other colleagues and because of the rush of the day, you know, we all keep so many periods. We teach some teachers might teach three different prep. So three different subject matters. We're going from meeting to meeting and student meetings and all these things. We don't get to know a lot of our colleagues are we have a very surface impression of time that may or may not be real because humans and in this experience, I do feel it was one of the gifts to be able to really get to see what people had to offer.

28:18 And and how far they were willing to go to do the right thing for everybody and learn when it seems like you know in person he said that you'd be so frustrated like and if you would just push that one button that says push me and screen in the corner and

28:41 You realize like all the distractions they have but then you know when I think about trying to give direction clearly to those people and then again with students, right? I would write directions in a classroom. You think I think in college, what do they say? Like, you should be prepared to explain things 3 to 8 different ways the same thing and I would say that it's probably at least ten different ways and maybe for reinforcements you might say all of those some things twice and then into about a third of your class and say them again with hand motions and smiling and moving pencils and folding things and looking and so that was one of the things I thought about in building myself for next year and building other teachers was the way that we're giving directions like thinking about that more specifically

29:41 The language that were using how to cream with the best outcomes and the least amount of confusion for kids because I would send something that I would always say in class on purpose in an email or on an assignment. And remember we always love love love and everyone everyone would be like, what do you mean and so I would have to go back and lick think okay. I'm so sorry. My bad. I apologize. Let me explain it like this or I learned this from you. Let me make a video and show you and then everyone was like, oh I remember yeah.

30:21 Again, forgetting like where the kids were and and reminding myself like oh, yeah, you're taking care of for other kids and probably right now and you're not supposed to go outside and probably when the family's expense came up. Your phone is not the first thing that the family was going to pay. So you're not talking to your friends either.

30:51 It was just a lot. What are you expecting from kids in the first couple weeks back to school. However, that's going to happen. Let's pretend that it's going to be beautiful. It's going to happen in August are all the kids who love like what is your dream vision for the new year my dream vision for the new year would be the day experience and amount of relief.

31:19 Because as you said they have been so a lot of them have been cut off from the outside world in a way that I'll just call it what it is possibly more privileged student has not been so I really hope to see a smile come over their faces and I hope that they used to annoy me every other before it happens when they hug each other in the hallway, but now I think that that camaraderie there Giggles their smiles. I think that they'll mean something new to me and instead of the fear that I saw wash over their face the very first time I saw them I expect to see a relief wash over their face this time just oh my goodness. I'm so excited to ask

32:19 Babies in front of a human teacher and I really hope that we both have that moment of humanity. I think that looking first level of emotion.

32:40 I don't know you all hear that monster. Yeah, you had a monster.

32:47 I don't hear it now.

32:55 I was worried about all that lives inside the internet.

33:03 What just happened though?

33:07 Do you hear it when I talk?

33:09 Not anymore now, that was crazy.

33:18 The first day of the new school year if everything goes as planned and we all get to show up and see each other and welcome the kids back into the building and hopefully their families I really would like it. I would like to see us and other schools embraced being a part of the community more than we have been in the past. I think a lot of school say that but I really I really think it's going to be in trouble to the year being good for everyone and to acknowledge not just everything that's going on with covid-19 all of the social unrest

33:58 That's happening right now our students in particular have suffered.

34:04 Under racism and institutionalized racism their whole lives and I'm hoping that some of the hope and relief comes from at by the end of the summer there are so I move that we are tangible to them and we can say like, okay, we all went through this together and then we all went through this change together that's good for all of us. And that's one of the things I'm really

34:35 I'm kind of counting on it. I'm counting on that. They finally feel like their voices are heard and that this next year can be about

34:44 Not just amplifying their voices because that's something that we try to do always as English teachers, but but they start to see

34:56 That this was not all for nothing that they were protected from something that after that.

35:04 We stood up and a lot of people in the world stood up for them. And this is a difference time. I wanted to be a different time where we can all be better and in the hugs are more meaningful. I'll Hazard meaning for butt.

35:26 Hunter like we did something that like people haven't done before you'd like told seniors this year like your graduation is like the Mount Everest for graduations like you this under something no one has had to do this before no one you're the first so that's my hopes and I hope our classrooms are next to each other.

35:52 Not that I know my way around the building. However, I would love it is my dream to have a secret.

36:01 Reiner cutest and do all those kind of things that dream about and say we're going to do tomorrow, but I think this next year is going to be extremely purposeful in.

36:13 Yeah, definitely. I like.

36:17 In a Time such as this where there's so much going on on the outside. I wouldn't want any other profession because now is a time where I get to take everything that's happening the covid-19.

36:37 Police brutality all of it and I get to bring it into a space where I can talk about it with people who are the people that are going to do something about it. These are our this is literally the future of our nation and we do get to give them that voice and therefore be because we get to give them that voice we're saving

37:08 The world so serious. I know that sounds so silly. But and instead you are it's really a heartwarming feeling.

37:23 I think all the promise not just of us saving the world and getting to see that part of your profession like as meaningful and finally feeling valued in the world. Like teachers should be paid more like you should always act like you said and like I said like we get the privilege of being with and moving the people forward.

37:56 That you change the world. I'm going to take care of us. When our old that shape with his country is going to look like

38:05 That makes a new generation of it leggings just crazy what's possible and don't give up. We're not going to give up. I wouldn't let you give up.

38:17 You better never let me give up.

38:22 Doing this with me today. I'm so glad to talk to you.

38:31 In front of others so that other people can be a witness to what we're experiencing and who you are. Thank you so much. I'll tell you that a friend of mine is getting ready to graduate asked me my best advice to her as a teacher cuz she's getting ready to go into TJ. And I told her my best advice to you is to find yourself not just a colleague but a friend and a mentor and I seriously told her I said I found my sister and education.

39:06 And I thank you so much for that. Thank you. I Love You Beth and I feel the same way.