Annabelle Fernandez and Louismary Johnston

00:00 I'm Annabelle Fernandez, I go by Anna and I am 60 years old. Today is August 6th 2020.

00:12 I am recording from outside of Fort Bragg, North Carolina, and I'm here with my sister Lori Fernandez or Lori Johnston. Sorry, I gave her my last name and she is my younger sister.

00:33 Hi, I'm Lori Lewis Mary Johnston. I go by Lori. I'm 56 years old and I'm recording from an area near Fort Bragg, North Carolina. I'm here with my sister Anna who's going to interview today.

00:54 So ask your sister. I know a lot about you, but I'd like for you to talk about your connection with the military.

01:05 Okay, my husband and I were College sweetheart, and we also married while we were in college when we met he was an Army ROTC Cadet and he was commissioned upon as a second Lieutenant second Lieutenant after he graduated. He spent 30 years in the military and has just recently retired in 2018.

01:34 We've been married for 35 years and we have to Sun during our time in the military. We moved 13 times and we had seven appointments. So 6 or dad or father was in the Army before I was born and before you were born. We didn't have a military background. We weren't military brats. So when he

02:08 Began, the military. I really didn't know what to expect like our first Duty assignment. I really don't know what to expect. So I had to learn to adapt to every new situation that came.

02:24 And during our first assignment desert storm happen. So that was I guess my big

02:32 Wake up, you know this isn't the military. I know you were in Fort Campbell right? When when Desert Storm happened and you shared something with me earlier that I wasn't aware of that you almost decided to come home.

02:57 Instead of staying on on the base. Can you tell me what changed your mind but I did I I thought about coming home because I mean I could be with my parents and we had Jonathan at the time who was 5 years old and

03:21 I think what changed my mind as I wanted Jonathan are younger or youngest son to have structure and I wanted him to continue to go to school. And even though I wanted, you know to be around family. I decided that it was more important for him to have that and

03:43 Even though I wasn't around our family the Army became my family. So that was I mean that was also very big. I've learned that know that the military can become a family.

03:59 And

04:02 Segueing into my next question for you. What would be one of the things that you've gotten out of being in the military for as long as you all were in?

04:17 Well, I'm a big part of my military experience has been the volunteerism. I've always felt that it was important to give back to the military community.

04:31 I found out by helping others. It was a way to help myself during deployments during the time. She was gone it gave me focus and purpose and I like helping people. I think it's just natural like especially in our family. We just like to help people.

04:50 So I've actually volunteered so much in his 30 years that I jokingly call myself a professional volunteer because I have done probably every volunteer position there. There is in the military. I volunteered with ptas of course cuz I liked being involved with the boys. I've served on boards just probably ever had was where the FRG which is the family Readiness group and the family Readiness group consists of the soldiers and the families within a year.

05:40 Just important to have that cohesiveness and you know were the families to know that everybody has each other's back and they're never alone.

05:52 What would you say was one of your

05:58 Favorite volunteer positions or roles

06:02 I know you've had a lot cuz I've heard you talk about them my favorite position or my favorite volunteer with probably be when I was part of the Community Foundation just because we the foundation

06:24 Dispense grants to families that were in need soldiers and families that were in the military community and I just saw was almost instantaneous that you could see the hell that you were giving like our foundation was getting to that particular family or that organization and it just made me warm fuzzies. You you feel good about helping being able to help others and that was probably be my favorite one. But you know, I also I mean your drug use some of our events and you saw you know, the fundraising things that we like to do like the options and and the craft fairs that those are fun to it because you know making money for a good cause because every time we make money when you give it all away either scholarships or grants to the community, but no scholarships for high school seniors and also for

07:24 Dependent spouses. So it was if it's just feel good to help and it fits purpose and focus.

07:37 What is something else that you've learned about being in the military? That's

07:44 That surprised you definitely takes a village a community to thrive and survive in the military. You can't always do it alone. I learned that and it's as for me it's very hard for me to ask for help. It's very easy to give help but it's very hard for me to ask for help because I just feel like I just want to be self-sufficient. I want to be in control. But sometimes you do need to ask for help and you may probably remember when I the time that I was sick for a few days. I wasn't sure what was going on, but

08:24 I ended up going to the emergency room and I had to have an emergency appendectomy and I didn't even know that it was my appendix, but I mean my appendix basically first and and since I wasn't, you know.

08:40 Since the family wasn't like right there and Johnny of course was to place usually seem to be

08:48 The my military Village to cover they plans meals they came over to help, you know, watch out for me. They made sure that like our youngest son was driven to and for stool to and from school and also like to activities and it's it's nice to know that your military Village is going to take care of you.

09:19 Well, you've mentioned deployment. Can you sort of Define what those are and then I know you mentioned at the beginning that you all went through 7 deployment. So I'll ask you a little bit more about that as well.

09:36 Okay deployment. I'm pretty sure that people even civilians are familiar because of the news what's going on in Afghanistan because of 9/11 that basically our soldiers are they go usually for a year or two or their mission and force the can't speak of the missions, but no they go to different parts of the country or the world and usually right now of course were focusing on the Middle East.

10:17 So they go there and for their mission and it's usually a year-long. I mean there was a time when that you can extend that to 15 months which is but it was

10:31 If I'm deployments are easy and

10:36 When we were at MacDill, it was kind of odd because his appointment instead of being a year-long. It was there was no battle Rhythm to it. He would be gone for a couple months come back a month gone for a couple more months and just it was just very I mean it the time were erratic. I'd almost like to know like the beginning and end of a deployment and but when you know, you're not sure when he's coming back at it makes it harder on the family because you can't establish that Rhythm of Life and you know structure which I love

11:17 Well, I remember to though when when you all were based at MacDill and you weren't living on the coast, but you were living in Valrico because I I remember coming to see you. I think I've been to almost every base that you all have been posted to except for Fort Leavenworth.

11:46 It was so cool that you are writing for a newspaper. And you had a column. Can you talk a little bit about that?

11:56 When we were at MacDill Air Force Base in Florida in 2003, I was asked to write for the st. Petersburg Times, which actually the same team times is now the Tramp The Tampa Tribune, but I wrote a monthly column about life as a military spouse, which was appropriately called married to the military riding those columns. It was sprayed. It also gave me focus and purpose and because you know, Johnny was gone so often so it gave me, you know something to do I could reflect on our military lifestyle and his deployment.

12:42 And it was it was a nice little collar and it was not and it was I appreciate it being asked to you know, share my thoughts and feelings about the military lifestyle. So that was nice to and can you tell me about one of your favorite Collins? Probably my favorite column was about the format and actually

13:12 The pros and cons of a deployment because there are advantages, you know Ava deployment as well as disadvantages, of course, so that was probably it and because I was living in it, that would have to be my favorite song.

13:29 Yeah, and I will stay I followed all your columns to and that one I thought was really cool because it's hot a lot about deployment and what that meant for you as the spouse and

13:48 I thought while it was light-hearted there was some gravity to it that really got to my heart. And so I'm like to read an excerpt from it if you don't mind.

14:01 It's titled spouse's deployment can have its advantages?

14:10 It is hard on the whole family.

14:14 He is reluctant to say goodbye and the kids and I hate to see him leave.

14:20 It is never easy.

14:22 When our sons had the chickenpox at two separate times, he was not around to give them oatmeal baths.

14:31 When are older son had to get stitches in his forehead he was not there to take him to the emergency room.

14:40 Yes, Miss countless soccer baseball and basketball games award ceremonies and school programs.

14:52 When I read that I think about the sacrifice not just that the soldier makes

14:59 Because I mean they're they're protecting our country and our freedom, but then also I think a lot of times we forget about the sacrifices that the spouse makes the one that's left behind dealing with the day-to-day stuff with the kids if you have kids, I mean and that really got to me because I thought about all the moments.

15:25 That Johnny was missing but I thought about how you might be sitting there at one of the soccer games watching one of your boys play and you know with an ache in your heart wishing that he could be there with you to see that and so yeah, that's that's what I brought tears to my eyes when I reread it actually had forgotten how that article but I did I wanted to write about our military life because I wanted to also reach other military spouses and let them know that they weren't alone and they weren't feeling you know, they weren't

16:18 The only ones that was feeling that way but I also wanted our civilian readers to learn and understand more about the our military life and how a deployment can affect the lives of a spouse but also the children and I hope I accomplish that task. I hope that other people felt as you do when you read that.

16:45 I think you have a lot of fun writing. You are a writer.

16:51 In your core and I know you done some blogs more recently. So can you talk a little bit about those when John ordered in 2012? I began writing again and this time in a blog about being a military spouse because that is what I know and I tried to write at least, you know, a couple entries at least a month, but

17:19 They're especially during his year-long deployment it helped pass the time through the year.

17:27 But it was also a therapeutic way for me to write down thoughts my frustrations accomplishments of goals hopes and dreams and I also thought I would be a great way for him to keep up with I was angry at like if you know something if something happened to Murphy's Law something always happens when they usually that's when car breaks down.

18:08 It's just so you know things happen and they're always not there and you always want to vent. So the block was a really good way for me to match us. As a matter of fact, one of my first blog post was about watching the Summer Olympics in a tiny room upstairs in our house because the air conditioning had gone downstairs. It was yacht. It had to be fixed. And so our youngest son and I were watching the Olympics which we were really excited to watch upstairs because something goes wrong immediately after he left the air-conditioning. So I remember that room that has separate like window unit so you could have AC in there.

18:59 So let's get back to deployment and most of us.

19:05 Can't fathom having our spouses away for you know, a significant amount of time and a year just seems like such a long time for your spouse to be away. How did you stay connected when he was gone. Important during a deployment and deployments have certainly changed throughout the year as a matter fact, you know going back to Desert Shield Desert Storm.

19:41 We didn't have a lot of contact because that was before, you know technology took over. So we did snail mail. I think he was able to call me maybe like 3 times during that whole 7 month deployment, which is free phone calls during 7 months is not a lot. So we did snail mail, and actually I remember riding the number of each letter on the envelope because sometimes the mail during the Persian Gulf War what would be out of sequence so that way he could he would know which letter to read next but now and now like, you know during the deployments now, it's so much easier to communicate and I mean he could he always had access to a phone usually unless it was in a remote area, but usually he had access to a phone so he could call me.

20:42 So it was you know, you could always pretend that they were in like, you know, their usual their office that was down the street, but you know, it was it was much easier to communicate but communication is very important.

21:02 So

21:05 I know we have talked a lot about deployment but

21:13 What what are some of the things that you did besides volunteering, of course to keep busy while he was gone mean? Can you talk a little bit about some of the positions that you've held and how they relate back to the community and and your passions. Well, I definitely think that is important for a military site for any spouse to have a passion especially if their husband is gone a lot and it's definitely helps keep him or her saying no such as

21:58 If someone has a job, you know, that's definitely helpful. But also like volunteering being involved with your kids activities whether it snows PTA sporting activity running 5 case that's always helpful exercise is always good and helps, you know, clear the head. I remember I got excited when you started running has like yeah, I can have somebody to run with me all these races cuz we ran a lot of races when she started running or straight, but but like I said it it was great to go out there and just clear

22:42 My head like during a ride, but I have to say one of the things I miss most about living on post since he's retired. Now for us. We live no outside of post, but when we left on toast, which we normally do, I love to go for a run in the morning because I mean you saw the soldiers doing PT Plus. I felt very safe. But yeah.

23:16 So it was that was a great thing about money. But yeah it is. It's definitely

23:23 A good thing she find a passion because she know

23:28 You're so invited me to something to focus on like during his absences. I remember to not only where you're running but you are also teaching like an exercise class exercise class at the little one of the gym MWR gems for a little bit. I have to say that that's one of the great things.

24:01 That

24:04 I felt during his 30 years in the military is I've been able to try like a multitude of whether it's a volunteer position or whether it's you know, just something new like running or or a dance class or you know a new job writing for a newspaper. I've been able to try a lot of different things as we've moved around.

24:31 It's been going very fulfilling and

24:35 I can't imagine another lifestyle because looking back at our life in the army.

24:41 I'm so glad that we were given this opportunity to look at all these different places and meet all these different people from all walks of life. You know who become our family. It's

24:55 It's really really truly been blessed throughout his career and I'm very proud of you know, his 30-year.

25:05 Career in the army

25:13 And one of the things I mean it

25:18 We have a lot of military in in our family with no our nephews almost all of them have served or are currently serving our brother Alex also served in the Army and Rick was in the Army Reserves or other brother. So I mean we have a real.

25:47 History of service in our family, but I think it's important to to realize that even though you're not.

26:01 Serving the military.

26:06 Directly indirectly you are serving to I mean, and so I want to thank you for your service to our country as well means a lot.

26:20 So thank you to both of you. And then I'm proud and honored to be your sister as well. And inform me. We had a lot of fun visiting you at all the different bases except for Leavenworth. That was the only one I couldn't get to but I will say one of my favorite faces to visit you was down in Georgia when I got to visit you guys there and you left both off post and on post and I just remember I think we went to Savannah and walked around.

27:06 And we got to see a lot of different things. So every time you guys have been at a different post. I've been able to experience kind of

27:20 Military life without actually being in it that's been fun for me. So I get the fun part, you know seeing you and all that good stuff and and seeing all the different faces. So thank you for sharing that with me, but

27:42 I mean, is there anything else that that you want to add about your military life? Cuz I've pretty much run out of my questions that I wanted to ask you other than the fact that you know, you know how grateful I am to this life. I mean if I had any advice to give like a new house.

28:06 Who sense of humor is very important?

28:15 Bing

28:18 Look at it as a gift and you know, it just be as supportive to your spouse to your soldier as you can and just know love them and

28:32 Bs adaptive as you can but yeah communication.

28:37 It's basically like in any marriage and we have been married the whole time. He's been in the military. So I have seen you know, what's happened like from basically the ground so yeah backup camera communication. Love yourself.

28:55 Stars of White duty honor country

29:01 Arthur

29:11 Oh, yeah, so let's talk about when you first met.

29:16 Johnny your husband I have a story to tell about that too, but this is more your story.

29:28 Do you remember how you all met like in the early days and you know cuz you guys met in college. I mean your college sweetheart. Yes. We met in college so I could we met at a college mixer between his dorm and my dorm and I have to admit that in the beginning. I probably was not sure about like

29:59 Cuz he was an RTC already as a matter fact, I believe he was an Air Force ROTC at the time and then when because our college did not offer Beyond Army ROTC until like his sophomore year, so he immediately switched over to the Army because while his father was so he he preferred, you know to be like his father wanted to be like his dad so he and but our early years of my goodness.

30:40 It's Raining Tacos

30:45 We met and we immediately I guess we did that it off and we started dating and

30:54 I think in the beginning he had told me that.

30:59 He didn't plan to make the Army his career he plan to because it was an ROTC. You have to serve a certain number of years, which I think might be three or four or five or six and he get out but

31:22 When he

31:25 When he was in I mean he we left the military and he was a great Soldier and great later. He became a great leader. So

31:36 Tatum 30 years and actually I'm glad because I don't think I

31:42 I don't think I can see my life any other ways, you know other than being an army spouse. I don't need to sign in on a said he was going to stay in I can tell you that it was Desert Storm. I mean it wasn't because it was the soldiers. He was deployed where it was a camaraderie and he saw all the training that they have done he saw.

32:16 All of that come to fruition like, you know, all the training is that they have been like doing doing during all these months in years of field exercises and going to jrtc or and he say he saw all of that and you know and plus, you know, the camaraderie with the soldiers.

32:37 She loved that and actually maybe that's when it clicked for me as well because that's when I realized that I have a military family. I have a family at home, but I love Julie my siblings and my mom and dad, but I also have a military family that I can count on.

32:59 You know, I remember meeting Johnny early on when when you all were still dating and you know, there's there's a lot of things that that really haven't changed with them. I mean, he's still the same guy that I remember meeting you was you-know-who humorous and he still that guy but I also remember seeing him with his army Persona and think it's pretty impressive as a you know, as a soldier and I have been blessed to have gone to some of the military functions and hear him speak.

33:52 And I am envious at the fact that he is so gifted when he speaks. He can speak off-the-cuff. He can own the room and he can do it without notes and I'm one of those speakers and I know you're this way too. Will you have to have everything written down or otherwise, you're going to forget something and I'm so happy that you know, you all met way back when and that made it this far. It's it's no it.

34:29 It makes our parents happy, you know with with both of them now gone. I know they still look down and and they're happy to see.

34:39 The like that that you have had together so far in the life that you'll continue to have. Anyway, I'm sorry. I'm getting Snappy but

34:50 So

34:56 Anything else you can think of we haven't really talked much about your kids. Is there anything that you want to say about them and how they think they did and as military brats, you know, I have to stay and I wrote remember I wrote that article about military brat in because I am at all of all these kids who can move from place to place to place the place change schools. Like I remember that our oldest son Jonathan he went to three different high schools, but still managed to get scholarships. I mean still and I managed to play soccer and do well in his life and you know, Jordan probably had I think it he was able to go to light one high school his whole, you know, just one high school so he was lucky and that but, you know, most of these kids, you know, that is something that they just

35:56 And they were very efficient. I mean, I can't speak highly enough of these military kids, but they just do so well and I see how

36:14 How they when they do go off to college if they're usually pretty successful at it because they've already you know, that you've been through their parents being deployed. What's a change of like making new friends and they ran the gamut of I mean, they probably met and made more friends down.

36:44 In like their whole life

36:47 18 year old lives when they go off to college then like, you know.

36:52 Another child has so they they've been through it all already. So they're very, you know, we're very resilient if I could say anything about boys.

37:12 Ironically neither one of them are in the military that which is just selling their choice. You know either go to one of the service academies or or do ROTC in college, so

37:34 Well, I think it's it says a lot for you all that neither one of you push them towards the military that wasn't their choice. You you let them decide what they wanted to be your wife and now they're they're both sort of grown up.

37:55 So

37:59 How do you want to wrap this up? Is there anything else you want to add?

38:08 You talked about your kids we talked about Johnny Supply Min volunteerism.

38:17 What's you know, don't one other thing you want to add to this?

38:28 Although I miss our military life and sometimes it could be very hectic with will deployments or with a military function set.

38:39 It's been nice to like step back, but also nice because he actually still works at Fort Bragg and he's you know as a civilian so it's almost like

38:54 We still are what in touch, you know, we still have like our big toe in the water and you know, where

39:03 We're still surrounded by and I'm military families even in the

39:10 Community that we live in now, so it's it's not it's nice, but it's also nice to you. No step back a little bit.

39:19 So are you still volunteering or serving on any boards now? Actually, I still am that's funny. I'm still part of the Community Foundation year at someone that gets the scholarship.

39:47 Thank you for letting me interview you thank you for interviewing. So what's funny how I remember all these things in relation to you know, having visited you at all these different potions and just what I what I know about the Army. I think I've learned most

40:15 And so it's been fun for me to have seen you all those grow through this process, so, you know your life, so, thank you. Thank you.