Ashley Woitena and Amber Camp
Description
Significant others Ashley Woitena (37) and Amber Camp (39) share a conversation about Ashley’s diagnosis of chronic kidney disease and Amber’s kidney donation. They also talk about how they first met, what drew them together, and how grateful they are to have one another.Subject Log / Time Code
Participants
- Ashley Woitena
- Amber Camp
Recording Locations
Mildred L. Terry Public LibraryVenue / Recording Kit
Tier
Partnership
Partnership Type
OutreachKeywords
Subjects
Transcript
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00:02 My name is Ashley. What's henna? I am 37 years old. Today's date is Friday. October 15th, 2021. We are in Columbus Georgia, by the name of my interview partner is Amber camp. And she is my fiance.
00:19 Hi, my name is Amber Camp. I am 39, today is Friday. October 15th, 2021. We are in Columbus Georgia. My interview partner is Ashley with Tina and she is my fiance.
00:37 Do you remember how we met?
00:41 I know it was three work had to have been. I imagine either at a witch's, we both work in the hospitality and tourism industry at the time with me working for the visitors bureau. And you working for a hotel. I would assume we met at a one of our hotel mostly meetings. Most likely. Yes.
01:06 During the course of our relationship. How did you know that? I was the one?
01:12 Before we started dating or during a during our dating relationship.
01:20 I feel like,
01:23 I knew you were the one just threw out the time we spent together. I always and I mention it to you before that. I always wanted to find a partner that had the best attributes of my mom. My dad.
01:37 And that was you.
01:39 Tell me what that moment. Just with your your kindness what you do in the household, raising our son and then also just being the Homemaker but also the the person that changes light bulbs and a ceiling fans and everything else. Where my dad you had that he had both perfect sides that I was looking for. How about you?
02:09 So those several moments that really solidified that I was in love and that you are the one one that
02:18 Our conversations have always been super easy. Like you are the easiest person to talk to you, even in those hard times when
02:30 We may be arguing or upset. It's still easy to talk to you.
02:36 I feel like that.
02:39 We're almost best friends immediately and were able to be best friends, but also be partners at the same time.
02:50 Your kindness. Your intelligence, your work ethic?
02:56 You being hard-working. You stepping up?
03:00 To be a mother to our son.
03:04 There's just so many so many reasons why but those are some of the main View.
03:13 To add sister. I don't want. I also admire your intelligence the right the way you're raising Chi and just knowing how hard are you for it? Being a single mother. And I to do what you done, also was super attractive. So it was almost one of those things where is after?
03:34 Maybe our first or second official date that I knew.
03:40 You were the one he has is very hard to.
03:44 Slow a relationship down. Did a good job, but it was hard to
03:49 Slow down. It's like a freight train.
03:54 What?
03:57 What are some of your favorite times together?
04:01 They were times together.
04:04 I enjoy the small things. I just enjoy. Of course. I love the trips. I love going, whether it's they were big and Outdoors. The weather is as hiking together or paddle boarding or going on vacation to the beach to the mountains. Traveling wherever I love that. But from using small things, this is going to the grocery store together is going to just go pick up food together as a small things that for me me the most cherish.
04:34 The longer time we have each other in the vacations, but I just felt like my alone time, but also I want you with me. So, any time I'm doing something. I'm likely, I want you next to me. Even if something's even just like cooking dinner and you helping me prep or just being in the kitchen with me. Yeah. It says little things. I agree cuddles and just just that we could all day.
05:04 What do you think?
05:06 Our most difficult times have been.
05:11 We had a few nothing that.
05:16 Animal Control necessarily with one just
05:23 I just asked coming together and me coming from.
05:28 From being by myself to an instant family, is it? If it's a learning curve, we've handled it with Grace. And now we have a
05:39 Driving Pitino son, the most difficult time with had together. So far with our control was my, my house here.
05:50 Yeah. I agree and I was probably myself a cold.
05:55 So whenever you were diagnosed with cjd, what were some of your insecurities being chronic kidney disease? What?
06:07 What were some of the things that kind of scared you the most or seem the most out of control for you?
06:14 Thanks. Mr. I can cry. I'm so sorry.
06:19 For me, it was just unknown. And it actually feel like
06:24 You are placing a life for a reason.
06:28 It was up to me. I would have never gone to the doctor and I had a headache and never.
06:35 Never gone. I'll take some aspirin and I'll be fine if it wasn't for you. I wouldn't go on. And then when I discovered I had an issue which was like turning.
06:46 As I got to learn a lot about what kind of disease is not realizing that I had stage 5 kidney disease, and I was no 10% kidney function towards the end. They
07:00 But the out-of-control part for me, was learning that I can't control everything in my life. And that's
07:07 It's really biggest struggle because I am a very much a control freak in terms of money, everything in her place and being in control Last Driver that I started to be able to be able to and what you and I talked about this all the time is that I like to not have to depend on anybody else. But myself I've gotten where I've been by myself and with help of course, but the mainland through my work ethic and I just don't like relying on people that come through for me.
07:32 That was a big staying, but in terms of things that were
07:37 Just the unknowns of, you know, we
07:41 You know, they is it. They said, you have high blood pressure or you have a headache or run, some lab work on you and then went on vacation to go see her friends. And I said, you know, I'm in the ER because I got and you know, having a nurse in the ER so if I have to go on dialysis, we're going to transplant and it's just what I'm healthy. I'm very sick and he'll see what's going on there. Just a
08:07 Go from being a healthy person who didn't have a care in the world about cuz I'm in a work out. I'm healthy. I thought I ate well, they're going to change him onto fire, lifestyle, around the disease that I was still learning about, right? And to go from his constant doctor appointments, where we just weren't sure if I was going to make it. And it was
08:33 And you and I are at a concert together Monday and you could give me that the tickets for Christmas and I don't know if I can be here to this. So between 21.
08:47 Those is a great gift, but I'm going to be here to enjoy it.
08:52 So going from just not a care in the world to go into the end. I need to have a, will I need to have my ducks in a row so that I can take care of Amber and Kai if I'm not here anymore.
09:05 Who is?
09:07 It is tough. It was everything I hoped you were right beside me the whole time. So, you know, that shaking and not knowing and trying to put on a good front in front for the public to see, but when I get home, you saw the other side of me who couldn't sleep at night and who couldn't.
09:23 Do anything you just seen? I had a constantly figure out what was what was going to work for me to get my head around it and learned that I can only control things that are it within my control? What I can control everything else without having you by my side. I wouldn't have been able to be the person I was going through that without you.
09:41 I was really loose, I could do.
09:44 How did that impact you?
09:47 I mean, it definitely scared the ever-loving crap out of me. I mean,
09:56 It's crazy to know that, you know.
10:00 We both.
10:02 But with each other were healthy, and we stayed active at the same as you. I thought that was relatively healthy.
10:11 And to go from, you know, just me thinking that you had migraines to your kidneys are failing, was like a bomb dropped in it, completely like turned our world upside down.
10:30 For us to navigate all of that. And not having a lot of information at first. It was almost overwhelming.
10:43 I definitely try to keep my.
10:46 My emotions at Bay just because I know that
10:51 You needed more help than I did cuz I wasn't going through this. I need to be there for you to go through this and
11:00 I definitely went into like research mode and try to find out as much information about this as possible and
11:09 It was crazy that during this whole process that we had to actually hire a dietitian because nobody like that really don't know about nutrition. They just kind of give up like a page-long of kind of what not to eat. But don't tell you much at all. Eat white rice and chicken basically. Yes, and it was very frustrating cuz like I was like, I knew the doorways to help prolong.
11:39 Whatever we needed to do until you know, you either go on dialysis or that you could either go to transplant. It was ways. And then as soon as the doctor said that you needed a transplant, I knew immediately that I'd want to get tested to try to at least donate. That way you can get a kidney.
12:01 And for,
12:03 That the whole testing process was,
12:08 But I'm glad it's thorough, but it was a lot of testing and lots of blood work and
12:14 Going back and forth to Atlanta. Go to Emory. It was it was a lot, but I would not change it.
12:24 At all, like I enjoy the time together. Even the other car rides just running up there together. And even though I know that you are stressed out and it was scary. I enjoyed being together and it was one of those things where was covid going all-in and it almost gave us that I hate this happened to us, but it was almost as if it was going to happen that way the best time for it to happen. I agree because with both of our work we were just we had more down time and we were able to focus more on our relationship and just before we even found out about everything of this, one of those things where people start working remotely and we both work from home and it was a thing where
13:09 It it kind of makes or breaks a relationship and it made her stronger. So you already had that going into it and then the top it off with finding out you have a health emergency, is it really just puts into perspective? An InFocus use Focus if you went on what actually matters in life. And if anything coming out of this, which is now which is fantastic, you really come out of it and you just had this whole new outlook on life in perspective. And and you realize, you know, what actually matters is that you can't take, you can't let it as much as I could before this. You not talk about money all the time because I'm such a
13:53 Stickler for budgets and spreadsheets and saving to retire. And you want to say is now, where's that? Yeah, it matters, but
14:01 What are we doing for us, for our family to does that our son up for success in the future? And for this, we know?
14:12 Is he a user of want to go into work early and stay late? And I'll see you when I get home because that's what matters family and you and Kai.
14:21 I really just it's a blessing in disguise and it makes you really, really thankful for what you do have and how can you get back?
14:30 Yeah, I don't I don't want to say it first. But yes, I do think that you being diagnosed was a blessing in disguise because I really think like we are already closed, right. But this really brought us closer in more than one way and
14:48 I think that if we can get through this, and if we get there covid and not have any arguments or we can get through anything.
15:05 Is there anything that you regret after learning about your disease?
15:14 I don't have, I tried to never have a great sign anything because of course, I would always say that.
15:21 You know, if I could have found you sooner. We realize that we were friends when we were acquaintances acquaintances 4:14 or so years, before we ended up becoming together and being partners.
15:36 But the time was right for a reason and we all ended we both talked about this, how everything happens for a reason and the timing worked out the way it should have that you can we both came into each other's life at the right time where we are looking at relationships and reach out to you to go for a coffee. And then of course, you awkwardly asked me to go hiking one day without ads.
16:05 But I don't have regrets. It would be.
16:09 Are just focused, I focus on life so much of My Career Education, my career money that other things are very important to me still but they don't have a high priority as a used to feel very high that I'm appreciative for my off for what I do for work because I can't say that most companies that are, that would let that would let their staff member, you know, work remotely or take the time off as needed to get mentally healthy and physically healthy again. Did they get the picture of the human side of the job? Yeah, but you have the homework, so it's, that's why I want a bigger things. As we first started dating, it was at work first, but everybody else. And now that I've seen
17:09 Just knowing that I found the right person who I want in my life with it makes you change what matters and I thought about that beforehand before and now more so than ever. If you want to, you want to spend time with the one, you love the most.
17:28 But it was fun of our time.
17:40 If you were able to give advice to somebody.
17:45 About, chronic chronic kidney disease. What would, what would it be amazing? I would always say. And also want to make sure that we talked about a good app. How come I don't get it again, 36 healthy. No issues at all blood pressure, but my daughter has never made it a big deal. And the one thing I would say is if
18:17 If your doctor has not taken seriously for you, you have to have a care for yourself and your own health mental, or physical, or you just didn't send.
18:30 Just because you think you're healthy, you don't know what's going on internally with everything, with your organs and everything else.
18:38 I can't say enough to get a physical every year, get to get blood work. Get routine routine laps because you never know. And if if they had done this for me years ago, they could have caught it and it would have been nice. All your you have 10% kidney function. You're not going to wear. It could have been. Okay. Your medicine through your eating habits things up, right? I don't just think because you're young, you're fine. You're not especially through this whole is whole process. You see you see more more stories coming out and you realize that chronic easy. This is very common, one free people this and the fact that you may not be preventable hundred percent, but you can, you can take steps to help prolong.
19:37 Your kidney function is just it might be an advocate for anyting do in a related health-related. I just just being mentally aware to take care of yourself. And I was one of those people who never went to the doctor cuz I had to. I know, I don't want you to. I don't want to do cuz they always says, it's a big thing I would take away is that I just being aware of it because you think you're healthy. You don't know everything. And just asked, asked her labs are fruity, my work ask for things that doctor's name. Check my other job and just check to make sure nothing's wrong thing. I would add to that would be a lot of us are very self aware of what's going on with their body. And if you think there's something wrong, listen to it and voice that.
20:35 Another lot of people don't tell her, it's not that big of a deal. Or I'll walk it off for me. I was not. And now of course, I think any little thing. Oh my gosh, just being aware of all the the biggest thing to come out of of this is getting a dietitian and really learning about plant-based and how, how processed food, what they do to your body. And it has not talked about enough, how we can, we can all be just held your people by what we put in our bodies every day and being aware and treating her body better.
21:35 Yes, I agree. Yeah, I don't think that enough doctors.
21:41 Advocate for healthy eating because I really haven't learned how much nutrition could affect your body. I mean, if you can reverse heart disease and help heart disease and kidney disease, all by nutrition, then it should be more of a focus Point as well. Please give medication.
22:09 So I want to talk about the after our testing that we went through at Emory.
22:16 For me to be a donor and for you to be recipient.
22:21 Can you take me through like your side of the testing and kind of what you went through?
22:28 Yeah, so it was a lot of fun testing, a lot of water, doctor appointments meeting with numerous doctors at Emory transplant, which is if you have if you ever have anything and Marie is 1%, and the best hair transplant team is, is phenomenal. I'm fortunate, fortunate, were so close to Atlanta and a happy memory, is just a blessing for me. It was a lot of testing, a lot of scams thinking that the one you're trying to figure out if I even eligible for a transplant, if you don't know that for a fact and it being on those calls. And, and here in the nursing, I know you're eligible. I didn't realize. I thought we were, I didn't know you just so many unknowns and just not knowing if you're going to be eligible to be even get put on the transplant list.
23:17 Which is scary concept to not be able to be on that bus, but going through MRIs and, you know, for me, they did the MRI and I asked the question, what they were for. So, well, if you are able to know if you get a transplant. So we know where to position the new kidney that would go in and then call me from that. When you come back in and we need to do a CT scan is here from their learning. I have some random. So what's that? So going from them, finding nodules to saying? Okay. Could be cancer, that could be this to say. No. We think it's an infection. And luckily turned out to be his a plasma, which is, which is not a common fungal infection down here in Georgia, I guess. And I kept, they have asked me questions of. Why You Been Around? Bad. Have you been how you been in case have you?
24:17 Amber. Yeah, all these questions. I just know. I haven't I have no idea how I got. This is having to have a wedge resection, surgery on my lungs to remove lower left section of my lung, just to make sure that it isn't cancer because they're not the whole new ballgame. One more thing to come on the plate, right? The one with turbo.
24:47 But this fortunately it was just a matter of no, it's just a fungal infection, you're on medication for a while and then let they got that medication. But yeah, it's a lot of testing. I'll just make sure that you're able to receive a kidney and then
25:06 You know, hopefully finding a match to be a donor before you ask, doubtless and learning about Plan B and just going to the steps. How about for you and wanting to be a Kidney donor side. So, I've always known that I wanted to donate. I never really, and I told you this before, I never really put much effort into it, cuz I always been, we talked about this before that. We always feel things happen for a reason and when they're supposed to happen. And I think the reason why is because God knew that he wanted me to wait.
25:45 And try whenever you find out you had c k, d.
25:50 I always knew I wanted to be a Kidney donor or some kind of donor.
25:55 Of course, I'm up. I don't around after I pass away, but living donors kind of pretty cool and it was a lot of CT scan and x-rays. I had blood test and a blood test were kind of what determined, you know, my kidney function. And if I had any crazy anybody's, or if I had any absurd viruses that could rule me out as a Kidney donor, and
26:33 They did not find anything on mine.
26:37 That they at least I didn't tell me about.
26:42 I know that whenever I received the email for from my coordinator about me being a donor, I was sitting in the car and this was right after your
26:58 Let's surgery and we were at your house, like a six-week or it was my
27:07 With my follow-up appointment. So it's my fault appointment for my after my lung surgery. I was there for blood work. And then meeting with the surgeon post-op right to check on everything. He is having to have x-rays done, to make sure everything was going on with her lungs. So I know whenever of course because coveta can come in with you, but it's all sitting in the car and I just happen to check my email and
27:41 Now, I wish I could have waited and made it like a big, huh? Do? But it was so.
27:48 Shocking and emotional. That of course I had to call and tell you that I was able to be a donor and not only be a donor but be able to donate directly to you.
28:05 And for a non-relative match like one and 100,000 that are matched. So for me to
28:17 Be able to donate was just amazing in itself and then not only gorgeous tonight. But today directly to you. Like, I was an emotional mess and like I was, like, tears flowing in my face.
28:34 But it was like not ass. It was like one of those like, happiest tears that I've ever cried. And
28:44 Is almost like I'm still in church. Like I said, I was shocked, even though I've already donated, I'm still in shock that I was able to been a, to you remember, being an Emory and I was going to get my my x-ray and I had to go up for labs. And if so, my schedule is kind of wonky and little frustrated was trying to make this work and everything was behind schedule. So they're putting me behind schedule to meet with my surgeon and just in that mood of, you can't be with me in the car. And I'm sitting there and I'm about to get, I'm rolling my sleep up to get my lab work done, and I got a phone call from you. And I asked the lady from that much that I'm just Funeral Home in frustration and what not to to cry with you on the phone because you can't donate directly to me, like you're my match.
29:42 The lab tech. She was like a girl. That's your fiance right or not. Yes. If we were at we were engaged and I remember the last text say they're doing either Kitty to you. You, you got to get married individuals. How lucky, and how fortunate I am to have somebody that would even consider the risk of going through a surgery, just to be able to give me life. Second chance at life is just incredible. I know we talked about the perfect match and we were the perfect match before all that.
30:32 I know where we were going to the bar for a reason and we are that perfect match.
30:43 Yeah, thanks. I'll try not to cry here.
30:59 So, after we got word that we got,
31:05 That we were that I was a match and then it would be able to donate directly to you.
31:10 I know that it was the frustrating part was like, okay, let's go. Let's get it done. When can we get it done?
31:23 So, this was February of 2021, and
31:29 We?
31:32 Had to wait for your your lungs to heal, your lungs, to heal from surgery, and they also wanted to finish at least get some months and under your belt for the antifungal.
31:46 And I remember when they finally released you from the Infectious Disease doctor at Emory, right and you
31:59 We're able to be put.
32:01 Officially on the transplant list.
32:06 That was probably like one of those days is like, so exciting. We knew that it was Round the Corner.
32:14 I know that as soon as you were put on the list, I have a cut my corner as I couldn't. When can I, when can I go and get a schedule? Let's get this going. And they finally give us a call and let us know that the third kind of gave me the option of when to choose. Of course. I'm like a fool or 7th of 2021.
32:43 I need a friend now. Alright, universary. Yes, we now have officially have your kidney inside of me, but me being, she's doing very well. Knock it out. The park overachiever when did like her momma? So I have that. I have your your kidney run has been here with me. Now always & and she's doing fantastic better better than I've ever felt. Honestly. It's just giving me a whole new lease on life in terms of how healthy are feeling. And now that we're back at work were 4 months will ever for my house up and it's just, it was not always the best right after it took us some time with you expect longer than we both thought probably. Oh, yeah, but we hear me. But yeah, we're we're both at Full Steam.
33:35 Is Trucking along? What did it mean to you, to be able to donate directly to me? There's no words. Literally, there. There's no words in the dictionary to be able to describe.
33:51 Grateful thankful.
33:53 Appreciative.
33:55 Putting it lightly.
33:59 I mean, just
34:01 Is everything it really was to you was with everything and
34:09 I didn't care who I donated to.
34:13 But I'm so happy that I was able to donate to you like me too cuz you have that piece of me, and I know that's probably like more better you sounding but
34:27 If We Had Each Other's heart, but now you literally have a another piece of me.
34:34 The other thing is pretty cool. For us. I miss that life for a reason.
34:47 The fact that you donated to me and you made it such a selfless act to do that. You were going to do with anybody person that you wouldn't want to help anybody. You can. But the fact that you helped me.
34:59 Against the law to file that and that you asked me, the very beginning want me to follow up with you. It's just your heart and your kindness and then you talk about. We do get married, you easier to take us out of house. And we've already got the tickets together because you've already, you know, you don't so much and
35:31 They're just two words, cuz it's just some of you would naturally want to do. But to explain in person. It's not something that people do everyday.
35:41 And I with my family, it was my dad who wanted to donate to try to donate in his room, is just the fact that you gave me a healthy striving.
35:57 Kidney, that's just with my lab. Now. It's just incredible to see what I was at. My kidney function at all my others numbers and things all had to learn this Patty. We both learn together this past year is a see it. Now. What is a day off? Now is better than most people with two perfectly functioning kidneys. Yeah. Yeah. I'm very thankful that it matched. So well.
36:31 I know that whenever.
36:34 Another were like four months post-op.
36:39 I feel better now than I did before donating, which is crazy. And I don't know if it's just because of Wii U, no more active. And of course, we've always tried to be relatively. Well, we could tend to do that as well.
36:55 But it's almost like my body was built to have only one kidney and got a new that I only knew that was going to be better with one kidney. So I just feel better and it's, it's crazy feel better. Really do is both. I think he's made its automated Advocates. Now, for organ donation, which agree with both had on her license that we want to give give or Orient once we get, once we're off to continue other people, but
37:28 It's just now is so much worse, and we were little help. And we have the flags at our house with anybody who asked me what we try to make people aware of living donation, because I told me that people don't talk about as much as you think about that after you pass. But what about now with bone marrow or whether it's an actual, Oregon? How can you make a difference in someone's life? And so as the donor and then now it has me of the recipient is telling that story and advocating for donation is is it a new thing that they were really just really proud of and want to tell anybody who will listen because the more we did we tell our story. Hopefully somebody else will hear that and have hope and say oh wait I can do that. I can assure you that I bought but it was really at least eight. I wanted to be able to wear those to Advocate cuz it really is a talking point and weave.
38:28 So many cool people because of this, you really do we met we have we have new friends that we've never would have known before. It wasn't for 44 and it's just said, it's been awhile Journey but it's been a great one and it's crazy to say. Hey, we had surgery and always things happen, but the outcome is so much appreciation that have come out of this and weather is going to be appreciating you even more. So now than ever, which I've already. I've always appreciated you and admired you and you give me a whole new outlook and then are so nice to see that. Our son sees his mom stepping up and donating her kidney to help. Save me. It just helps
39:16 Set a reminder to be a role model for him and his kindness and what he can do now. It is just telling the story over and over. If people would just
39:26 His a deposit story to win. This one that I want to always tell is today. Maybe he'll listen just want to advocate for organization, The Nightlife.
39:37 I love you, and thank you. I love you. You're worth every
39:44 Every pain, every
39:48 Stressful moment that we've had, that you're worth all that and more. Only sometimes.
39:59 A little motorcycle.
40:05 Well, thanks for sitting down, talk with me. I appreciate it. I know we talked about it every once in awhile, but it's nice to sit down to have a conversation face-to-face about it. It's a matter of view just because I mentioned it, I wouldn't know where I'd be without you. And while I was going through all this. So are you sending different way and you had to be the support person but internally, you're still doing a lot of the same thing. I had to go through, you went through as well. But I had only known you and you didn't have me to lean back on because I was so emotional that it's just
40:44 How I can repay you every day with my love and just know they're going to have a bright future together. Will you do that?