"At these parties I was surrounded by drugs and alcohol" by Hayde Cruz-Aragon

Description

Hayde: It is October third, and currently it is 5:33 pm. Today I am here with..
Amanda: Amanda
Hayde: Hi Amanda, how are you doing today?
Amanda: I'm doing good.
Hayde: Do you know why I’m here today?
Amanda: Umm yes, we’re here to talk about my recovery journey.
Hayde: Yes, so I’m going to ask you some questions about this recovery journey and if you like
at any time during this interview you want to take a break, you can just let me know.
Amanda: Okay
Hayde: Okay my first question is, what was your pivotal moment that made you want to- want
to change your life?
Amanda: I think it was the time where I nearly died because of an overdose nearly a year ago.
Hayde: Can you remember how or why you started misusing either drugs or alcohol?
Amanda: I think it started during freshman year of college.
Hayde: And why do you think that is?
Amanda: I’m not sure but at these parties I was surrounded by drugs and alcohol. I would see
like- when you would enter you just see it in the hallways and even in the bathrooms.
Hayde: Did the people at these parties sort of pressured you into doing these drugs or drinking
alcohol?
Amanda: They totally did, especially the older people there who knew I was young but I wasn’t
going to say no to them.
Hayde: And why is that?
Amanda: I wanted to look cool, well not cool but I just wanted to fit in since I was new.

*Cats Meow*
Amanda: I’m sorry my cat’s here.
Hayde: No you’re fine, I know having her around her- here makes things lo-- a bit more easier
for you as you had told me before this interview started.
Amanda: No yeah it does.
Hayde: Okay continuing, um, are you okay with stating what drugs or if you drank any alcohol
you did at these parties during your freshman year of college?
Amanda: No yeah that’s fine. It was mainly cocaine as it was more common during the time I
was in college but I also took lots of shots of vodka
Hayde: And do you think that from that point and going to those parties, that’s when the
addiction slowly started?
Amanda: Definitely
Hayde: Okay, next question. Do you have any regrets?
Amanda: Because of those drugs I do. I lost in touch with some of my family members.
Hayde: Do you feel or think differently about alcohol and drugs now in the present time?
Amanda: I do, it wasn’t really easy to let go of all that. I’ve gone to rehab after sometime but I
ended up relapsing and I basically put myself back where I started; which is sort of frustrating
now thinking about it.
Hayde: Do you feel that- because of this people judged or treated you dife- differently?
Amanda: I’m pretty sure they did because I know that if I wasn’t in that position, I would have
also judged them.
Hayde: Can you recall, um, any moments in which you felt like you were being judged by those
around you, either at campus or outside of school?
Amanda: At home by my family. They wouldn’t openly judge me but I knew that they were
when they found out. I’m thankful they didn’t say anything bad to me because I feel like if they
did that would have worsened my mental health.
Hayde: Okay would you like to take a small break right now and then come back?
Amanda: Yeah, I do.
Hayde: Okay, we’re back and next question, did stigma play a part in your journey to recovery?
Amanda: Yes it did, I didn’t like being stigmatized by others.

Hayde: Are there any people from your past or people back then who weren’t using or misusing
with you and that’s if you wish to talk about that?
Amanda: My girlfriend who is now my ex. She constantly tried to convince me to stop doing
drugs. I hardly listened to that though and after constantly going to rehab but relapsing again, she
got tired and left.
Hayde: Do you guys, um, keep in contact now or no?
Amanda: I would of like to but we don’t keep in contact anymore.
Hayde: Are you someone who volunteers within the community to help others or teach others
about drugs and alcohol?
Amanda: I would like to but I get really anxious in front of people so I sadly don’t.
Hayde: Have you personally suffered from any overdoses or near death experiences due to your
addiction?
Amanda: Yeah, that’s what made me reconsider my life choices.
Hayde: And I think we’ve already gone over this, but have you lost any friends or family from
drug or alcohol abuse and has that influenced your behavior or outlook?
Amanda: I haven’t really lost anybody. My girlfriend did leave me but thankfully I still had my
family with me.
Hayde: What was- Oh this is my last question for you, what was your home life like then
compared to how it is now?
Amanda: It’s better now, but looking back I really do regret the choices I made but I’m thankful
that I’ve started recovering from that
Hayde: And I’m glad for you too, but Amanda that’s the end of this interview so thank you for
being here with me.
Amanda: Thank you for having me.

Participants

• Hayde Cruz-Aragon
  

Interview By

• Laurie Smith