Kay Thomas and Maggie Thomas

00:10 My name is Maggie Thomas. I'm 31 years old today is August 26th, 2010. We are in Atlanta Georgia. And the person I am talking to you today is my mother-in-law.

00:25 Who is and that is K guske Thomas and I am 64. Although I don't want to admit it. And today's date is August 26th, 2010. We are in Atlanta and Maggie is my daughter-in-law.

00:42 Okay.

00:44 What I wanted to talk to you about today was a year ago yesterday. I just see anniversary of the death of Uncle Frank Frank Burgess and

00:59 The process like this month before he died and taking care of him and their relationship with him and the rest of the family so I know it was a major part of your life and the whole family's life. And so first of all, what was your personal relationships Uncle Frank like Uncle Frank was my mother's brother.

01:22 Older brother by 11 years. He was born in 1908.

01:27 And he and I had a relationship ever since I was a little girl, we would write letters back and forth to each other. He would stick pieces of gum in the mail to me and it kind of evolved from there as I got older and I went off to school. I didn't see him that often but then after I married he was

01:49 In the process of living in three different places

01:53 He was born in Michigan and then when he retired he moved to Florida and then after he lived in Florida for a while, my mother was living in South Georgia and he would come through and spend spring in the fall in south, Georgia Tifton Georgia and visit with my mother and at the time I was living also in the area. So we had quite a bit of interaction with one another. I actually ended up driving him to Michigan to his homes in Michigan and or Florida when he got to be at the age where he didn't want to drive anymore. So we spent a lot of quality time like that. He and his wife my aunt Violet who I was very close with

02:35 Uncle Frank was 101 when he died last year.

02:43 How old was Aunt Violet when she died when she allow younger than him? And I believe they were six years apart for years. Maybe four years 4 years apart. I'm sorry. She died when she was 89 and 2002 and then after she died he had a Uncle Frank had a caretaker come in and and live with him full-time in Tifton in Tifton.

03:14 I guess leading up from that the caretaker. How did you come to care for him in his last month's of life? Like what was the what were the steps or whatever let up to? Well, my mother was my uncle's power of attorney and when she died in 2006 then I kind of evolved into that role. He made me his power of attorney. It was his choice to assistant voice. Oh, yes. And so I kind of became his overseer of his everyday life or what whatever major decisions, but you were living in Canton already by this time that that's correct. I was living in Canton Georgia, but I had left Canton and was living in South, Georgia.

04:05 Both places in both places, so why would I would travel back and forth between my two beef to my two homes realistically Uncle Frank and I like I said, we went back to H my age of 6 when it's a real funny story he

04:26 I had sent him a letter when I was 6 years old. I printed it out like in childish scrawl block letters, and I said dear Uncle Frank.

04:36 Did you know that I could read?

04:41 Oh, I'm sorry. Did you know that I could write next year? I will learn how to read love K. And when I just before my first child is born when Jenny was born. He sent that letter back to me and this is a 1971. So he kept it all those years and he sent it back to me and I opened it up. And who was this letter that I had written him when I was 6 years old, so I thought I just thought that was so funny. So when she was born and I sent out the birth announcements I sent out the typical.

05:15 Birth announcement that the baby had come and on the back of Uncle Frank's I penned in scrawled letters 6 year old block letters dear Uncle Frank. Did you know I could multiply he thought that was so funny. He told me I'm he said that is just Priceless. So we we've always been real close and when I was living down in south, Georgia, actually when I was six years old, he took me to my first bingo game so I can remember to this day what he lived in this very small town up in Michigan and we are walking down the street and went about two blocks and then we took a right and it seemed to me that it was like in an old church that we went into play Bingo course. She didn't they they play for money and I'll be one like candy or you know boxes of something here car playing cards, maybe but I can remember that to this day and after that.

06:15 We went to Bingo especially when I was down south Georgia. We were going like 6 times a week. We would get you to go to Tifton or we go to the smaller towns around so it we were really into bingo.

06:28 Unfortunately, he developed a macular degeneration and it got to be where he couldn't see the numbers up on the board. And so then I would have to play his with mine. And so you know what he won he won. But yeah, you were playing foreign and it got to the point where he would get so frustrated that he that he couldn't hear after a while to do. So then we just we just quit going into that was a sad day. It really was less last bingo game.

07:02 So I'll ask her that I was going to ask. What was your most vivid memory if Uncle Frank and you were telling me like your earliest memories of Uncle Frank and pretty cool when you were six is about that age. Kindergarten. I think when your concrete memory start forming, I always said that about Molly that you know, I'm glad check came in my life like right at this point in Molly's life cuz she's always going to remember, you know, when you were six years old, that's kind of cool. So the you were living in both homes in Canton and and I have to attend and traveling back and forth and at this time you were taking over from your mom once your mom died in 2006, you said? Okay. And so then you had hired a caretaker who has your mom had already hired will actually they had hired the caretaker to be a companion to Aunt Violet. Okay, because she had gotten very on.

08:02 Able and couldn't walk very well. And so the companion was there to help her and you help her get dressed and help her get in the car and you know spend some time with her and then when my at Violet died then Uncle Frank ask the caretaker to stay on to help with him because he was going to be all alone. So then what happened?

08:22 I know Uncle Uncle Frank cell and he ended up having to pee in a rehab facility have a nursing home. It was rehab / nursing home, but we didn't tell him it was a nursing he he would not have stayed if he had known it was a nursing home. That was his worst fear was to have to go to a nursing home. Exactly. I didn't know that at school. So if he went into rehab he fell in January of 2008 and

08:56 I'm sorry 2009. He said he fell in January 2019. Yeah, and so he was they had told us at the time he felt he fell and broke his hip at home and they told us at the time that the average lifespan of someone breaking their hip is 6 months living 6 months and he actually lives at 8 and to tell you the truth cuz we thought he was going to leave. I'm sorry. We thought I was going to live until he was a hundred and ten because his mind was still all there. He there was some days that he was a little out of it, but I think it had more to do with this medication that he was on because sometimes he would think that I was my my mother he thought I was Irma.

09:39 And other times he thought he was that I was another sister of his my Aunt Wanda but most of the time he was still very very alert he knew exactly what was going on and all the nurses there at the nursing home. Every one of them was just amazed at how sharp he still was but during those eight months y'all kept the notebooks and I'm you brought them over to the house the other day and I've actually started transcribing them onto the computer already have gone to the first notebook. Yeah. It's really great. It's really interesting to read out of stuff. And so now that you're telling me about it, I'm piecing it together kind of like, okay. I see you never told me was a nursing home week at we kept like, you said we kept a log every day. Everybody was there if I wasn't there my brother was there can't can't tell Ange Angela Lane were there or my son. You're you're there. He came down for about 4 or 5 months.

10:39 And was there mainly in the evenings and and in the early night and I transcribed a couple of nights when Jenny was there too or evening? So I guess yeah. Yeah. We also hired a part-time a friend of mine. Actually when Chuck left. We hired a part-time caregiver Elizabeth that she really gave her input in those. I don't know if you got that far. When you get to her you're going to you're just going to be funny. I mean she she brought all the humor into it, you know that we start seeing the humor some of the humerus things about the nursing home instead of just concentrating on the dryer that was going on at the time. You know what I mean? She made this one comment about because some of the residents there would fall they hit me or they would try to get out of there wheelchairs which they cannot restrain them anymore. That's

11:39 A new law that they cannot be restrained. And so they periodically they would try to get out of their wheelchair all the they would fall out of bed and Elizabeth made the comment said why don't they have him in bubble wrap every night?

11:52 She would say things like that. You know, that was just it would be so humorous its caretaker. I said she'd had you have to find the humor if you're going to do it constantly. I'll tell you one thing about the nursing home. So I mean you you hear so many bad things about him, but it's like I said at the end when when after Uncle Frank it died is that I learn more about love and compassion and caring in that eight months that I buy virtually almost lived in that nursing home for 8 months other than the time that I was not having to come back up here to can but those nurses were just wonderful. I mean some of them had been there 35 years. Can you imagine doing the same thing 35 years and you know that they end outcome is that they're going to die their patients are going to die. They have to see it over and over again. How many times I've seen someone die of

12:52 The past 35 years Anna, you know Joe Chuck's fan in my best friend Ana. She's an occupational therapist. She went to school got her Master's Degree and everything and she tells me stories. She works of people with spinal cord injuries. She tells me stories and I don't see how she does her job. There's no way I wouldn't I wouldn't be able to do it there Angels by I asked them one time. I asked a couple of the nurses one day I said, where do you park your wings when you come here in the morning?

13:23 Asking people. Where'd you park your broom? But they were really good Uncle Frank. They were they really were you said six months was usually the lifespan basically is someone who falls you said that Uncle bring Uncle Frank was really

13:45 What's the word he wasn't he? Hadn't quite look quite started losing it yet. You thought he was going to live to be a hundred and ten. It's kind of amazing. I had no idea that did the D-Generation that happens in breaking a hip like everything crumples mentally physically everything. I had no idea. I thought you know elderly people would fall and break its all the time and then I didn't know that was basically a death sentence. Basically it is I I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's the in it in activity that they experience because they think Uncle Frank did go to rehab and in the beginning he was he was very good at it, but he couldn't he couldn't walk alone, you know that they would have to help him walk but he did get up on his feet. But then all of a sudden he just kind of gave up. I have gotten to the point in the in the log books reading it and typing it where he's like, what's the point? I'm never going to walk again though that why don't waste your money and then he said one time there's no reason to waste your money and Rehab like yeah, they would call me.

14:45 And there and they take a please talk to to Uncle Frank and you know, just because he's not he what he's been he's refusing to do anything that we ask him. And so I would go in there or not and I say Uncle Frank, you know, we can have our Mountain Dew when you get through cuz we always had a Mountain Dew after he got out of rehab and they all I don't want to KI guys don't want us to please would you do it for me? And then and then he would do it, you know, but hate his heart wasn't in it. I guess you just gave up and let me tell you something. This is really strange. Very strange that man could not stand alone could not stand on he couldn't hit it was hot. He could hardly even roll the wheelchair Wheels.

15:25 By himself on two occasions the nurses found him standing out of the bed in the middle of the night one. He was at the door frame standing at the door and they walked by is like 2 in the morning and they win this one nurse walked by and she said, mr. Burns is what are you doing? And he said I'm stuck he could he couldn't walk any more. Hehehe. I guess he realized that he was there in the door hook then yeah. He said I'm stuck. And so then they helped him back to bed. Maybe he was sleepwalking could energy wants his brain kicked in the hay yours walking in your standing then all of a sudden he decided you know is that it's a decision just to shut down. It was the talk of the nursing home at next day the fact that he was standing there and I asked the nurse is there I said does this happen very often and she said periodically it does people people that we would never get that are bedridden. I mean, he wasn't bedridden because they could get him in a wheelchair.

16:25 I know we will arm around and and and that was another funny story because when I was driving him back and forth to Michigan, I always ask him how fast I could go in the car how fast could I drive and he said I don't care queso but if you get stopped you're going to pay for the ticket I said, that's fine with me. So in the nursing home, and we haven't even though in the wheelchair and I start down the hall and I'd say how fast can I go on the front and you say I don't care you're going to get the ticket I got okay. Hang on. Here we go.

16:59 So I guess another thing I was going to ask you is what about Uncle Frank makes you smile. I guess a lot of stuff everything. There's not just one particular thing. But then the other question I was going to ask is what disagreements they all had or what you fought over there. Any Petty things that would happen in the nursing home, you know being irritated a lot and he's been he's discouraged that he can't walk and you just fight a lot or disagree it louder. No not really know there was there was one time I remember in particular that it was just as it gets to be so frustrating that you can't do anything for somebody when they're in pain and the and the nurses. Yeah, and the nurses couldn't help and he was he was in a lot of pain there at the end and I was just trying to get him some relief in the end. He was just he was just so miserable and I thought I've got to I've got to get up and walk out and I did I had to get up and walk out and leave the building. But that was the only time that I that I remember doing that.

17:59 Take a walk and calm down. It was just the nurses. Like I said the nurses were great. But there's always one. My mother always used to say for every 10 people that walk on the your there's always one that's there to make the rest of them miserable and it was the same as the same thing in the nursing home because there were a couple of them. Actually I had to have one band from his room. He was not allowed to go in there. I did read it might not be the same one that somebody had been relocated one of the nurses or somebody. She had been like reassigned a different Wing maybe that particular one. That's not the one I was referencing but that particular one. She was asked to leave on the wing that Uncle Frank was on but it wasn't just because of Uncle Frank. I mean she was not doing her job so I don't really know where they reassigned her. But she was not on the same floor as Uncle Frank, but there was one in particular that I had to

18:59 Banned from his room because he if she was just so

19:02 Nasty, I mean she was just nasty was no way around it saying it any nicer.

19:10 Chevy don't even like her job to the point where she didn't like a job and I hate that as a matter. What field you working. If you don't like your job try to try to find something else at least especially if you're going to work around that early all the time. That is one thing that I would say to grandchildren the younger generation coming up behind me and it's exactly what my father told me to do something in life that you would do it whether you got paid or not sending

19:48 Don't worry about how much money you're going to make if you got a job where you make it hundreds of thousands a year, if you're going to be miserable everyday is not worth it is exactly right and he said who in life what you would do whether you got paid or not. Yeah. He said that there hasn't been a day in his life that he's gone to work. He works the radio station that he's actually felt like he was getting up and going like to work, you know, so I also I wanted to talk also about Uncle Frank just touch a little bit I guess about the the caretaker situation y'all are just having a lot of problems when he fell and first went into the nursing home with her name is Barbara. We won't say anything else besides your name her full name because it was from what I understand. It happens more often than not. Yeah. That's what I was saying earlier that I didn't realize she actually

20:44 Three days after he fell I wasn't in the hospital. She forged to check on him. So besides having to deal with the fact that my uncle has fallen and he's you know, he went through major surgery and he's a hundred a hundred years old at that point when he had to go through a major surgery that night and I happened to be in Canton so I didn't make it down in time for the surgery but I got there shortly thereafter when he was under me on morphine and everything. But yeah, she decided to help yourself to some of his funds and wrote herself a check and I found out about it. And so I had to get the police and go over to the condo. She sheer she'd food right into the condo like she owned the place after he was in the hospital and so I got the police and went over there because she she had also taken his Rings. He had two rings that he wore and his wallet to carry to Wallace once as another funny story. He always carried two wallets in case somebody asked him for money. He would pull out the real thin when it says, I'm sorry. I don't have any

21:44 That's funny. That's a good idea. She took both Wallace and his rings and then Forge a check on him. So like I said, I had to get the police and go over there and

21:57 Get her out of a condo that happens all the time. And that's what the police told me. I course. I went immediately to the police and you know and filed a report and and they interviewed her and then I could have I could have gotten her for a felony. I could have charged with a felony, but it was just too.

22:19 Depressing because even the detectives told me that they checked her record and she had not had a previous record, more than likely she would get a slap on the wrist and say don't do that again and that just infuriated me. I was about to say that maybe one of the reasons why this happened so much is because they get away with it over and over again because I don't like there's not many families. They are so involved once a family member goes into a nursing home as if there are many families are so involved as y'all were that these caretakers can do this over and over again and not be found out but it's actually her first time. I don't know what I do know for a fact that she worked for other people there in South Georgia and they all had comments about

23:14 The whole family, you know, it was not it was not a good situation and I tried I tried my best to get Uncle Frank to get somebody else but he was of the mindset his father had told him to never get a divorce because you never knew what the second wife was going to be like and so he was at he was of the same mindset that he didn't want to get rid of the caretaker because he was scared of what we might get and I told him I said Uncle Frank anybody would be better than what you have right now. I don't care anybody laughing and it wasn't just me. I mean it was you know, the whole family was trying to tell him that but he was he was of the mindset that he he was not going to get rid of her and for a while after he fell I wouldn't even tell him in the nursing home what it happened. I just right I did not want him knowing this knowing that he was dying at some point. He had I didn't want to know but he did find out if the end unfortunately he was talking to check one night. I said I heard that someone said

24:14 She tried to steal from me and like maybe you didn't answer or they just got to change the subject or something. And that's I don't know.

24:24 It's really sad. It really is. Like I said, the the detective said that goes on all the time. It happens all the time. And even the chief of police who is a friend of mine down there when I was talking to him. He said it just happens all the time. It's just sad that they had they had gone out to this one mobile home. If they'd heard that this guy was living there in forging checks on the elderly gentleman and they went out there and the guy presented a power of attorney and they had to leave the detective had to leave because that was legal. He could he could write you could do anything you wanted to oh so that they had given the caretaker the power of attorney. That's awful. So

25:09 I guess we were talking about life lessons like things that way that your life has changed since becoming so close to Uncle Frank and his last month's and taking care of them and going through all this with him things that you know now that you didn't know before as far as like if you ever have to get a caretaker or somebody else in the family has to get a caretaker. Yagan an old in your home Nanny cams in the teddy bears and stuff exactly. Is it I don't care even in the bathroom put them everywhere.

25:45 When the caretaker was asked to leave she stripped her room completely painting supplies up under the sink or swim born in there. There was a policeman stationed at her door and he was watching everything but I guess he didn't know that she wasn't supposed to take like cleaning supplies and everything that was up under the sink, but she she strip that whole thing. So, like I said anybody that needs a caretaker at some point first of all get it back ground check make sure they get a background check that that was not done and install cameras. Absolutely. No doubt, at least there wasn't any kind of proof of you know, you hear about some caretakers like abusing the elderly that are taken care of or treating them badly physically or

26:40 They brainwashed him they brainwashed him. They convinced him that if they did not stay there cuz after while she had her husband move into her husband was living there with them rant freebasic. Absolutely. Absolutely, but

27:01 They would they would tell him that if they if they had if they left for any reason that there that his family would put him in a nursing home. There was no doubt. So he was convinced convinced that he was going to a nursing home if the caretaker left which is not true. But that's it. That's how they played Mind Games over him and taken advantage absolutely taken advantage. They would go to the grocery store because he didn't have his eyesight. He had macular. He couldn't see the stuff that went across the scanner, but after a while he got to where he would count them. He told me he would count them and he said K. He said weren't we were only went in there for like five or six items and I counted twenty-three items to their I said, you need to give me the receipt and let me look at the receipt see what's going what you are buying and so the next Sunday I went by there and he gave me the receipt and I've got you got two jackets on here.

28:01 Oh absolutely on his dime. Absolutely on his credit card. He said I'm only supposed to have one on there and I said, well you've got to so when he I guess confronted her about it. I don't know what happened because after that he would never give me another receipt. That's probably when she threatened to quit and they said that he would go to a nursing home. I'm sure that was about the same time. That was happening scammers and con artist. Yeah, and then one Sunday, he he asked me to take him to the grocery store. He wanted to get some soups and some cans of fruit and said he liked and I helped him, you know, get them off the shelf and stuff and

28:43 So the next Sunday when I went by there cuz I was there every Sunday we went out to eat every Sunday and that would give the caretaker break and then I could hear what it happened during the week, you know his stories. So the next Sunday I went by there and I said you want to go back to the grocery stores all know I can't do that anymore. She got mad.

29:04 I got mad because she because you took him to the groceries. Yeah, because she wouldn't be able to put her stuff in the buggy and him pay for it. I know he would he would have to pay for it. No, that wouldn't happen.

29:16 Power of attorney. Could you have had her Terminator? Yes, my mother was the power of attorney. My mother was the power of attorney before I was and she knew what was going on with this caretaker. Let me she was see it herself that the caretaker actually backed up to my uncle's a condo and she was putting stuff in her trunk. So he's stealing absolutely so my mother went over there and then she told her in front of Uncle front, you know, I am the power of attorney I can have you fired and my uncle said and I can have the power of attorney change to so that's why I was caught I'd like in limbo. I didn't know what to do. You know. I thought you were scared. He would change the power of attorney to exactly because he was brainwashed. She well made her power-of-attorney unfortunately, too and he was 94 years old 94. He adopted a 52 year old man somebody that he he

30:16 Known in his small town up in Michigan and after my aunt died my aunt knew all about this guy and she did not like him. She knew that he was a schemer and a scammer and so in my aunt when my aunt Violet died, this guy came back into Uncle Frank's life like almost immediately and I guess the gist of it was is that he offered to take care of Uncle Frank they would get rid of the caretaker and he would take care of Uncle Frank, but he had to adopt him first illegal. He's legally Legally adopted him. He legally adopted him.

30:59 So then when I was made power of attorney, I had I still had power of attorney, but he really had he really had the Health Directive. He he he was he could because Uncle Frank and not name me as his Health Directive the adopted son actually had power over that well, then we went my brother and I went for legal guardian. We actually had to petition the court to make me his legal guardian. So the adopted son did not come in there and just move him because really that's what he wanted to do. We want to move him to Alabama. So he was just waiting for him to die so that he could be the one who inherited everything exactly. So I will see how is it really sticky situation that you can

31:51 Practice your power of attorney abilities, I guess because you're scared that

31:59 He's going to end up being able being power of attorney. She could have ended up being power of attorney. So you kind of just had to tiptoe around everything as much as you could that eight months that I live down. There was restful. I could say it a little bit more strongly. But like I said everything happens for a reason I've learned a lot. I've learned a whole lot since being down there with him the what you asked me about what I've learned since he died was Weston.

32:33 Unfortunately, I have been made to

32:39 Be not as trustful of people and that's really sad. That's a sad thing.

32:50 Well, I don't know how I was going to ask you to do. You yourself do you think about dying? I mean do you think about what you what your wishes are for when you get maybe even your brother, you know and gets into the age and that situation where we're not telling you you're in a nursing home. But that's where you are kind of thing. I don't know. I have a living will made just because those are what my wishes are what I want done with my daughter. That's why I was going to suggest everybody needs a living will and you know everybody and they need a will. Consideration your wishes but it's not a legal document like a wheel. Well, I was just wondering if you think about dying if you have a will set up osher and then changed since the whole Uncle Frank that I'm sure you went back and you've changed quite a few things in it. And as far as wanting Uncle Frank back.

33:50 At any point, it's like my cousin asked me said K. Would you want him back? So sickly and I said no cuz he was in so much pain. He was he was just miserable there at the end. But yet if I if I wanted to ask him something. If I wanted to see you one more time if I could send something up there to heaven cuz I know he was a very humble man. He was very kind-hearted. He wanted to be remembered for being helpful to people which he was here. But if I could I tell him to get back down here and let's go to bingo.

34:30 We had a lot of good times at bingo. We did we hadn't even had his birthday parties there. I mean can't join, you know, we'd all take a cake and everybody that's a bingo hall had a piece of cake one time my daughter Jenny made little Smiley cupcakes and we took that well, actually that she had made those for her son's but it was the same. Yeah. Yeah the same exact things a little smiley faces and we took him to bingo one night and handed them all out. So we had a good time. And then like I said our trips back and forth to Michigan they were a lot of fun they were

35:07 The school

35:10 I have several uncles and I was probably I'm probably the closest to Uncle Johnny and I just wonder if one day that I'm going to have to take care and do this kind of thing, you know, but here's a funny thing to my daughter my brother.

35:29 We were sitting my brother and I and my daughter was sitting around in the living room. And after all this is over with Uncle Frank, you know, we're right right toward the end and everything. He was saying, you know, I should probably be a little bit nicer.

35:44 That's funny. That's great though. I like that. You're in a nursing home, but we're not going to tell you you're in rehab. Okay, so when I get that age if you tell me I'm in rehab.

36:03 That's what this is one thing. I really really enjoyed about being part of this family as everybody. Laughs everything is so funny. We can joke about everything. Well, if you don't laugh was there in life besides that's no that's my motto and laugh love. Yeah. Yeah. I love that be nursing home residents and sells I'd like to stress that if you ever visit anybody in the nursing home, please just at least acknowledge them. Let them know that you know that they're there either you can Pat him on the hand Pat him on the shoulder just say hello. Give him a hug. They just they live for that cupcakes with my right. Yeah. I don't know you're saying about being little a little less trusting of people since this whole situation unfortunate less trusting of people.

37:03 But not that you dislike people more than you owe no still laugh and you're still happy. You still give everybody the benefit of the doubt. I have to I just am a little more. Wary. Who can I trust now really, but overall like you said I just

37:21 I just

37:22 Life is here to live just you know, have a good time while you're here because trust me it does not last very long. I mean, I'm 64 years old and it's just unbelievable to me. You know what I mean? I graduated in 1964. That's when I thought that's where I am right now. I'm in 1964 not age 64

37:47 I'm really glad that you said you would come talk to me today. So this is really cool. And I said I like new experiences, you know, and I'm sorry. If I did the all the talkin you were probably special. I didn't have anything else that I had to contribute cuz I didn't live through the whole Uncle Frank Chuck and I didn't start dating until like a month after Uncle Frank died. So I just know all these stories with a shame you didn't know. Yeah. I know you're not very intelligent person to him. And so he was still talking to me in French door the end and forth with our French words, and of course, I forgot most of mine but he was saying hey, what's that word for and then he spit it out and I'm okay and poetry. He could recite poetry like you wouldn't believe Maggie. It's a shame. You didn't get to know him. It really is. I'm really looking forward to finishing transcribing the rest of these logbooks the notebooks there have I have six more notebooks. I think you cried yet I can tear

38:47 We had a couple times I have actually and I've laughed a lot. I was his great reading. I love it or you'll be crying in there too. Cuz I was there was there was a couple of you know that I can recall instances where I remember writing that I just laid my head down in the bed and cried, you know after he went to sleep sure I would have to well I didn't get to meet him but I'm looking forward to getting to know him better through this about keeping all these Netflix while he is in nursing home. My brother Kim was the one that suggested that that he that we keep a record of everything starting from the day he fell and that's when I got here an hour after his operation up until the day he died.

39:31 And that's that's hard at the end when you get there, that's hard.

39:36 But that's life. I mean life and death. That's

39:41 A fact it's the same as taxes for get the taxes. It's it's the same as doing interviews it so I took a time capsule. So thank you for sharing with me, or you're welcome.