R. Matthews and Audrey Jacobs

00:06 Audrey Jacobs age 47

00:13 August 13th 2011. Where in Atlanta

00:20 I am Remy's mom.

00:24 Remi Matthews, I'm 14. Today is August 13th. We are in Atlanta, Georgia and Audrey. Jacobs is my mom.

00:36 Remy why did you want to do storycorps today? Why else I wanted to talk to you and I wanted to actually I wanted to get interviewed by you because I like talking to people and stuff and I like going off the beaten path and making people laugh unintended lie. So yeah, but did you want to talk to me about I don't know anyting I guess what I had some questions for you. Actually, I've been very emotional lately because I've been feeling that you're growing up and that you're some ways leaving me you're not ready for college yet, but you're about to start high school how you feeling about high school since you just said, I'm not ready for college, but I don't know. I think I'm pretty ready for high school. I mean, I mean age-wise

01:34 And not in 10th Grade going into tenth grade, but I don't know. What's your question? I don't get it. How do you feel about going into high school? Cuz I think this is a big step in life to move from Junior High to high school. I guess what? Yeah, I don't think it's like a huge step but I feel good about it. I mean in school just like last year x 10, so I guess it's going to be harder and yeah you thinking about going on to college? Is that really a question? No, of course, I am of course. I am not no I want. Yes. I am going. I know you had a really busy some of this year, but I know that you love going to DJ cam. What was it about DJ camp that you love so much what I really love about DJ Camp was finally like I knew no DJ's whatsoever or people who wanted to DJ or thought it was cool or anything. So now after going to that cabin,

02:34 Bunch of people who are all my Facebook friends now and like not have a connection with them so I can talk to them about DJing stuffed and just other stuff in general that sometimes like DJing I wouldn't be able to talk to other people cuz they wouldn't understand it. What about friends here in Atlanta at school. I worry sometimes that you don't have a lot of friends.

02:58 Oh, yeah, that's kind of true. I mean I do have friends. I just I don't know like they're I don't invite people over and I don't go over to Google's house. Often. I don't know my head is in my computer so to speak so I guess that's why I'm always on Facebook. I'm talking to like that's why I'm so obsessed with it because I like all my friends are on there and stuff I guess but what about just having face-to-face conversations with people I guess I do. Yeah, but I can't always do that. So I'm going to ask the uncomfortable question about you know, where it where I'm going on your phone running. Please turn off the steip now so actually as you're getting older now and you thinking about girls and girlfriends,

03:54 We've had the conversation before talking about the birds and the bees right now. What are you looking for? When you think about dating all my God, this is going on the air.

04:10 I don't know. I guess I'm really looking for someone who I don't know. How am I supposed to put this? I don't know. My personality means a lot to me. Like I don't want to date someone who's a complete jerk to everyone else like I mean if they get along that's why I care so much about my friends and stuff. Like if my friends say, oh my gosh Remy, you should not date this person. They're really mean that I'll probably take it into consideration and stuff. So yeah is school important to you. It's boring but it's important. Are you going to work hard to see you? I was really really proud of the way that you worked hard this summer. I wanted to tell you that that should go in a record book right there along with a group of other kids and I was really proud. I was proud of you for doing that because you had to work hard every single day.

05:10 I always thought you could do it. I never said you could people but sometimes I don't think you think you can definitely true. Why is that cuz I know I can't do it. But I guess I don't know. I always try to remind you. What a friend Malcolm said you can do anything you put your mind to it. So, you know, there's some stuff like, you know, I don't know. I'm not I'm not an optimist that are anything but like there is definitely stuff. If you put your mind to it. You can't do like no like it is not possible for me to just stand up and fly right now no matter how hard I believe I don't know but when it comes to things like doing well in school. You know that's really important to me and to Dad because we are the first ones and our families to ever go to college and we've had

06:10 Work really hard to be able to have a home and to be able to send you and Omari your brother to school. And so it it's something that is really really important to us because for us when we were growing up doing well in school was the only way to be successful. My parents couldn't afford to buy us iPod Touches or MacBook Pro or any of the things that you guys have never took vacations, I grew up in England and I never went to France and never went to I never left England until we decided to come here and you did why?

06:53 Why did we come to America? Well, you know what? It's a primarily education Grandma and Grandpa are from Jamaica. They grew up in Jamaica and they they weren't poor but they didn't have a lot when they were growing up England was Jamaica was a colony of the United Kingdom. And so it was really easy for them to go to England. It was also right after World War II there were lot of jobs in England and so they were able to go to England take a plane and get jobs very very easily but the jobs that they got would not high paying jobs. They were really jobs doing things like in the service industry like nurses bus drivers train operators.

07:53 I'm jobs that people didn't want to do in England. And so there was about a lot of people left Jamaica and the islands in the Caribbean to go to England in search of a better life. But that's what they thought. They thought that by going to England they could work hard. They could buy a house. They could have children and send their children to college and they did work hard but they realize that going to college was not so easy for their children. So we lived in in London for a long time. We never were able to afford to buy a house. We lived in apartments. And then when I was about 10 Grandma and Grandpa decided that they were going to try to see how we could come to America because a lot of our family and friends instead of going to England. We're going to the United States and people are saying you can make it you can buy a house.

08:53 The kids can go to college if you go to America. And so I'm grandma. She left England. She left me and Uncle David with Dad and for about five years. She worked in New York. She worked on Long Island and see what about Grandpa Grandpa stay in England. He worked with the Train the London transport and Grandma came here though, and she worked in the home. She worked as a nanny as a housekeeper. She clean the homes of white people of Jewish people. I'm on Long Island. And so she was a nanny so she would clean the house. She would cook the food she was a maid.

09:36 And she did that so that the family would sponsor her and give her a green card help her to get a green card so that then she could sponsor us me and Uncle Dave and Dad so we could come over and so we did that. So in 1979 when I was 15, and when Uncle David was 10 grandma got her green card, and she was able to get us to come to the states and we lived in this apartment in Brooklyn. We we didn't have much money at all. Grandma actually had to get food stamps because Grandpa was still in England. And so Grandma was still working instead of being a live-in nanny or live in maid she tried to do days work so she could come home and help us but Uncle Dave and I knew that we had to do well in school. Otherwise you we were going to be poor and otherwise we wouldn't be successful in life and for us coming from

10:36 Families on the Caribbean with very little money I found these was so proud and it was so important to them that we do well in school. So that's all that we did. And so Coming to America for Grandma and Grandpa was really less about them, but more about allowing Uncle Dave and I the opportunity to go on to college and to be successful and so in many ways we have been successful, you know that I went to college in New York. I went to law school and Uncle Dave became a physician and and that's sad story as well for the same. Only thing only difference. Is that right? Right, but Grandma Walters came here and worked and then when she got her papers or her Green Card, she was able to have Dad come up you understand. So so that's why when I keep talking to you about did you do your homework? Did you study for the test?

11:36 It's more about I want you to do well in school because for us as African-Americans the way to success is still about education and I worry a lot about you and Omar because you're African-American boys, and it's really hard.

11:56 So that's that's why we came to the United States for education. And also as you know, Grandma and Grandpa were able to buy a house they lived in Queens for many years for our house. And then when we when we move to Atlanta they came and they were able to buy another house. And so they live in Conyers now and Grandpa loves his garden. He know that Grandpa is Garden well, so that's that's that's Towers our story our coming to the United States story.

12:34 My eye actually while we're at it another crust to move.

12:40 Tell me what you want to be when you grow up.

12:43 Wait, like like job-wise are just like in general. What is it you going to do that is going to give you the greatest joy in life while I want to

12:55 I don't know. I want to be a

12:58 I guess you could call it a movie maker yet. Like I Movie Maker for most of the time and also kind of is like my backup side job. I wanted DJ and then I want to have a family obviously hopefully some grandkids for Mom. I would love to have some grandkids. Yeah. I know LOL, you'll have a girl that will be fun. Tell me what kinds of movies he want to make. What stories do you want to tell like for my English project that was kind of fun. It was like a romance fighting I guess like romantic comedies Flash.

13:45 Action movie think that was small and I'm working on one movie script right now with like a bunch of my friends like Graham and Rachel and Hannah and Austin and some people and were like writing this. I guess it's action-thriller I guess. Yes, there is some romance in it. Of course, he got you know, you got there. Okay. Okay. Yeah, I kind of like that cuz it's easy and it's fun and I have a bunch of people who you know, that's like they're saying like like they were teenagers. That's all the girls talk about romance. Oh my gosh, I love romance guys fight fight fight. Of course, you put it together and it's just an awesome movie. How are you making the movie? So well right now we're still working on the script. Actually. That's what I need to do when I go home, but like we're writing the script on Google Docs so with everybody's looking at whatever.

14:45 Buddy else is riding. Yeah, so like that's what we do when we're making a bunch of Edison stuff. And once we finish that we're probably going to prep, you know, do shooting plans and stuff and then I guess we rehearse and then made the movie and then how you going to film the movie. You don't have cameras and all that equipment. You have cameras like are all English project. That was that was a good-looking movie. We shot that entire thing off iPhone 4S and iPod Touches entire think it looks great. So, I mean, we're probably we might do that since a bunch of salt since like most of us have that kind of stuff not like big fancy expensive cameras, but I mean like Dad he does have a video camera. So I guess we can use that to probably easier. Yeah.

15:45 Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, I forgot to ask you if I need you to like, you know, just maybe like drive down into our driveway and bed light turn and like okay, we need like some action driver cuz out of us can drive right now without a parent in the car, right? Okay. I'm happy to do that. So that's so that's wants to things like to do anything else that you love to do. I get I like in general. I just like helping people. I know like my friend I guess by the people come to me for advice. Sometimes they really shouldn't cuz half the time. I don't know what I'm talking about. But other times like I do like I guess people does it hurt to listen to some people every once in awhile and it really annoys me when people don't listen to me and I like prove them wrong or something. So yeah, I just like helping people and

16:45 Feel like a good person. I think that's what we need to do more of that as a family as a family. We don't we don't do it anymore. Yeah, I guess I'd like I'd like us to do a Habitat Humanity build and I think now that you're going into Highschool there. There's more of an opportunity. So can we do that in like 11. I think it's a great idea. I was thinking we should set aside maybe Saturday's maybe just a couple of hours each Saturday to do some things. For example. I know one organization that could use volunteers to come and help with children with reading and you me that tomorrow we could go and we could help some kids. Learn how to read my gosh on Mari teaching kids how to read what you're both are actually very good with children.

17:45 You're both. Okay. I'm I'm not going to lie. I think I'm already actually might be better on that one cuz he's good with like like little like not toddlers for like little kids like yeah, but you're patient with little children. Like I know what to do. I discipline don't clean up your room. If it's not clean by 9. You're not allowed up here. That's what I that's what I got Chandler to do. How do you think will the upstairs looks so nice now exactly. I don't know. I'm better with little kids like babies. How do you feel about moving from New York to Atlanta removed when you were little so that I like what I do is I was like, oh, this is not like I'm going to remember this later, but now I look back on it and I'm like, wow New York was such a cool place. I mean Atlanta school, too, but

18:45 I don't know. There's there's just a bunch of stuff that you are cast at Atlanta doesn't taste of likes out a bunch of filmmakers are in Atlanta. I mean New York. I'm sure there's some in Atlanta to Charlotte actually there they film movies outside by shots building all the time. I think Jennifer Lopez is going to be filming a movie. Take me there.

19:16 Probably get a job real fast like that. Just want it. Yeah, you need some help at any I can do this is Dad. If you're listening to this Eve really need to find that that CD cuz he he just has the video editing software just sitting there for no reason. He's like, oh, I don't know what to do with this and I'm like give it to me give it to me is like, what are you going to use it for? I'm like me to do what I want to do that. Are you serious about this now because remember about a year ago, it was all breakdancing a I didn't give up on breakdancing you brought it on yourself. I need to get you a math tutor. It's all my batsuit. It came comes. Let me tell you actually. I was fine with breakdancing what what I didn't like was that you told me the teachers were asking you to dance at school and that bothered me a lot because

20:16 Let me finish. Let me finish because as a African American boy and a school that's predominantly white for you to be seen as the kid whose only or major Talent is dancing that made me worried that people wouldn't see you as a smart boy that people would stereotype. They stereotype stereotype. I know but there's a stereotype for African American Boy there so many stereotypes good others who are that's like sports. I know you I know you are going to ask a bunch of people. They'll say the same thing. I mean maybe certain maybe not certain people are just like I mean jerks who don't like me and stuff but still anyway, so that was my worried about Briggs never asked you to break this

21:16 No dancing in class, but that was just because it was one of our players we had to write remember. I wrote a 3-minute play. It was on break dancing. That's why I'll tell you again. I worried about you being.

21:33 Seen as the black boy dancing in school because that's I'm telling you. It's a stereotype think of it as the black kid who break dance with? No, they think of me to ask or kid who can break dance not like I mean, sometimes you bring the race into it, but like that is one of the times when Tracy was not involved in it whatsoever. Like in my mind that was moved on from break dancing to DJ and I have to tell you I was worried about that to why because because DJ's don't always have the best reputation pay there's a hold on let me finish this scene as party animals is drugs and alcohol. Okay, and I'm thinking to myself. Hold on. I'm thinking to myself.

22:28 You know Dad and I we work so hard to give you all the things that you need and you're going to grow up to be a DJ who's going to get into trouble who's going to turn to drugs and alcohol that made me makes me really worried. You don't ever think they would drinking think I mean, it just smells nasty. First of all, and then I've got a party animal. I'm the kid. You don't recall us. The one called blank wall Huggers where the people who sit in the back and just and just sit there during parties unless unless that's like going to the middle moshpit like Sandstorm, I guess like a giant Rave I have to say and we're finished and DJs aren't the ones who were the party animals. It's the other people it so people in the crowd who are the one

23:28 Getting wasted off like beer and tequila and all that stuff. They're like Gila tequila shots still. I mean, I would let me just say two things. So that's meant that's about a year ago and I have come to realize that you're actually a great break dance. Oh now you and that obviously a good DJ and that you have talent and that you still remained good kid. I have guy that way but my hopes are that you can continue to do this, but that you'll you'll really focus and take School seriously because it's important to just drive school like that. No, like a school is definitely important and like I wouldn't just be like, okay School DJ DJ for your school.

24:28 Do that. I would at least use both because you need both to be successful successful. So like if I want it, I mean if I'm trying to make money off this stuffy stuff to go to school to learn how to make money on how to run a business and all that. So that's kind of important if you want to actually go somewhere and do something with it and see it also seemed to me though that you use dancing and breakdancing and DJing as a way to to find you a place in school because you said that you're not very athletic and so you didn't hang out as much with the black boys all that. I know you didn't quite fit in with the white boy by Astrid and so by becoming a DJ and I really good break dancer everybody saw that as a talent and and know you and respect you for it as well.

25:28 Yeah, I mean that's what I do. That's how I made friends. I break dance over me. You got to teach me how to do the okay. I'll start teaching you how to do that won't end up learning together. And then that's how I'll make a friend by DJ went to DJ cap. That was a really cool like tricky just did the show me how to do it. I'll show you how to do it. Then then next thing. You know, we're Facebook funny Facebook buddies chatting like everyday I'm glad for it because

25:59 I think it also helps you build some self-confidence. I don't I think you still owe. I know I don't want to self as, I think you do have stuff, I don't know that you're good at things. I don't believe like I don't know. I have very little self-confidence like that like remember and detail you weren't there. But okay. So like if in DC have we have like three on three breakdance battle or that dance battle and they are going up. That's the only reason I actually went up there was because there was another DJ out there who told me I was good and then of course by week was behind me my cousins to lose like behind me like from you got to go up there, So yeah, and then I seen you become much more self-confident and much more mature. I think you know that you were very very shy when you were younger and I've seen you change I seen you grow.

26:59 Like when you told me to call Barnes & Noble's house like oh my God. No, like I did not want to call Brent Barnes and Nobles, but then you were like you need to get this book and I was like, wait a minute. I have like four days before school starts to read a 300-page book got to do it. So yeah, so you did it out of fear and Terror of what would happen if I didn't but I'm telling you maybe two years ago. He wouldn't have Cloud because I didn't have the same friends like two years ago, right? So would you agree then that you have increased in yourself confidence you think but yeah, that's um, yeah thanks to like my friends and stuff. Thanks friends. But thanks to you also and I hope it comes from within back to the believing think I think that's just a weird that's like a cheap shot for parents to give their kids self-confidence. I'm sorry. So, how do you think I as a parent can help you be more?

27:59 The only that's never going to happen. The only way that's going to I mean, I'm sorry that was going to happen for me to actually get some self-confidence is like I have to know that I'm good at doing something like if I'm using I have to know right if I was going into a breakdance battle. I'd have to know I could beat this guy hands down. No questions asked and how do you become so good at something that you will feel confident or I don't know. This is going to practice makes perfect. I know that that's what I do. Like when you think what is he doing know? I'll be probably like listening to music like DJ. It's music. You got to you got to know your music like you can't just be all of a sudden just getting ready to drop in another song and it'll be at the wrong moment. They're just sound bad altogether you got to practice.

28:50 Well, I would hope that the amount of time that you spend DJing and you spent a similar amount of time focused on school you would be acing everything if it will help you later on in life. True. If you pull like 9, if you pull the entire school, like 99% of them would say if I if I could retain school stuff like I can lyrics to a song everyone would be our honor roll everybody. Like it's just I don't know if I guess you could try like some people do try and turn school work into a song and I think that's the biggest mistake ever unless you can actually pull it off but like I don't know talk about something else for a little while. Okay fine.

29:37 Subject. Okay, go for it at another question. I have I think you've changed but for a long time you was so mean to your brother and it is so hurtful. He he's meaner now. He's even more me like if you could have came to that that would be awful. I'm sorry. I'm sorry if you're probably listening to this, but still I mean you make all his money like people that all he's a little angel when they walk out the room. He's the devil still kind of meat is meaner than you think like people like people come with me. I saw your brother yesterday. He's so nice. I'm like, what have you been doing? Like, I don't think I think part of it is sometimes it's a little bit of

30:31 Jealousy jealousy. Let me finish. Let me finish. I think sometimes you're a little bit jealous of your brother because he's things seem to come very easily to him jealous of him know. Okay, no sibling rivalry then yes, that is definitely a big part everybody. Oh my God. Why are you beating up on Maury its sibling rivalry. Everybody has it chasing Chandler everybody. Has it William and Austin everybody because we're guy we like to fight. Is there anything you want to ask me?

31:14 I don't know. I'm trying to give me a second. I need to work my most embarrassing work moment. I can tell you my best work moment first. Okay. So what I do is I work with families donors philanthropist and I help them come together as a family and think about supporting organizations and issues. They're passionate about and so one of my best moments ever and work was when I am facilitated a family meeting and it was and I do it all the time but the family meeting with a donor and the children and I have everybody at the table or sitting to go.

32:14 They're and they're talking and they're agreeing on what they want to do and they're listening to each other and they're sharing information and they're talking about how they want to give back to the community how they want to be involved and then at the end they come away feeling really good and they say what we want to do more as a family we want to give to an organization or we want to become want to volunteer with a nonprofit in town on a regular basis. Those are my best work moments are when I talked with the donor and I meet with a donor and I help them think about what their most passionate about and help them fulfill their passion that that makes me very happy because I think I've helped somebody I've helped someone to think about how they can make a contribution to the world see it runs in the family feed me and you we both like helping people. I know and it's funny actually when I was in

33:14 School in England. I was the one that everybody wanted to would come until their problems too. And so forth for a long time. I wanted to be a social worker and it's funny but I also think part of that was that it was my way of trying to fit in as well. And I think in some ways it's your way or the highway how up, like that's what I do. Like ask anyone you think all these people all the time. That's all you do. That's what I do. Like what other people are playing Cod which I can't do. Thanks Dad. I'm talking to people like on Skype or on the phone or something. I'll be talking to people just helping them out with like, you know, like daily teenage issues like oh my gosh, like, oh my gosh. He doesn't like me are open symbol vix

34:14 Just calm down. Like I guess I get play some slow easy when you're 14 or 15 and you find out the boy doesn't like you and you like that boy by be the most devastating thing for a while. I don't think it is not important, but it takes a little bit of maturity to figure that one out.

34:39 As sometimes it's kind of like when they're it when people I guess like when I'll be helping someone with like a problem, they'll be taking it so seriously, and it's really not a big deal, but I don't know I guess for them. It could be a big deal. But in reality, it's really something just really tiny like my gosh my first I guess that's why I'm not a big fan of some of the people at Westminster I guess because like, I don't know what they take stuff a little more seriously than normal like I don't think that's just teenagers at your school. I think the teenagers 9800 know my parents are going to kill me only there so many other people in your class who got a 69, I think that should be worse therapy.

35:39 This might hurt the fat really but like get mad. So yeah, I'll just say that on that note again, you know, we're not about the numbers as much we want way. We want to know that you have done your best and when we get upset or disappointed it's because we know that you didn't try your best but you don't always know that you don't always know that like, sometimes you'll be like, sometimes it's obvious. Like I like to be honest. I will be listening to music by the fall. I will do I will not care cuz I think oh I know what to do. I can easily get it. I can easily passed it but then the room and that's the thing. And I have high expectations. We don't just want you to pass we want you to do it with flying colors. I know.

36:34 Dealt with that. Okay, you know somewhere we're doing this interview and I'll be around for awhile. How do you want people to remember u r m e r r m e Matthews? I want to be nothing like that. I want to be known as like

37:02 The person who always knew how to make how to make everyone have a good time and how to smile not like party all the time. Not like you're your version of insane DJ party time. No, I mean like just just having fun with friends like not like a jokester would just someone who knows how to tell good stories and enjoy life. Yeah, that's good. That's good. How about you Audrey Lorraine Jacobs?

37:32 How do I want to be remembered I think first and foremost as a mom as well as a friend as a partner as a daughter as a sister, but as someone who gets a wife as a wife, that's true as a wife is someone who tried?

37:55 I'd really hard to make a difference someone who helped to create two amazing boys. You and Omari a pretty amazing. Oh, yes. That is not a question and my hope my hope is that you will go out and do great things in the world. However, you decide them to be how do I want to be remembered as someone who ya someone who helped others just like you? Okay. That was completely random. I'm sorry. I don't know why you didn't tell me your worst and most embarrassing moment of my most embarrassing moment.

38:53 Like you missed a meeting or something that was really important like you were a guest like you were a speaker Audrey Jacobs and you weren't actually there.

39:00 Let me know know but I know I've had lots of embarrassing moments. I can't think of anything. I have I have missed a meeting once with someone and I could it wasn't on my calendar and I completely forgot about it, but it wasn't so much it was embarrassing. I just felt very very bad about it because I had somebody waiting for me. Wait for me people. Yeah. I mean, I'm trying to think of a time maybe when I had to give a talk and I I started to stumble that I mean I have gotten nervous but I try to work my work my way through it interview. I said Facebook buddies I said, oh I usually he was an embarrassing moment for me. I work in the field of philanthropy and I was at a staff meeting and I was talking and I couldn't say the word philanthropy a cat's insulin.

40:00 The p and everybody around me was just looking and say she cannot even say the word that was probably because it's in your job title. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah before we and I did want to say one thing since you were calling out my name about why we called you read me cuz you often asked. Oh, yes, I do. Remember because Remy is a yard of a name and it means first prince and you are are Prince and we wanted to continue the tradition of having all of the men and the Matthews family their names begin with an R. But my first choice for the name for you was Roland then Dad said, let's call him Remy Matthews, okay.

41:00 I don't know. Like I still have people call me Roland like Kobe really just words on your part. I love you Mom. I love you to Renee. I love you. A lot of God. I miss your hug. Yeah, thank you for doing this with me today. I'm really glad that we did it at Chile. Of course. You got the interview me for 40 minute. I know it was a privilege like you.