David Murkison and Ellen Murkison

00:04 My name is Ellen murkison and 42 years olds. Today's date is Saturday, September 6th, 2014. And we're here in the Atlanta storycorps booth and today interviewing with my husband David 42 years old on September 6th, 2014 in the Atlanta storycorps booth and I am talking with my wife today Ellen murkison.

00:43 Okay, David. I like to ask you to start by describing how you would have told anyone about our family in the summer of 2011. How would you have described Us in the summer of 2011 we were in the process of transitioning since you know, we were moving from Statesboro, Georgia up here to Atlanta. We just had a great vacation in the Grand Canyon and and was proud of the kids because they walked a lot of trails longer than I thought they would have I remember remember one Trail. We're both boys worth trying to get in front of the other Ben and Brian and pushing each other with elbows knowing that if they would have tripped and Fallen that they would have had about a mile drop down. So I had to head to kind of disappointed there. I'm a little bit but I always just remembered the adventure and that was the excitement about moving up to Atlanta and and what Adventures

01:43 We were about face which was definitely a risk just because you know, we've been in that I had been in the same job 11 years and and we believed it had the the core group of friends in Statesboro. So so I think that part of the move up what I would have looked at at the adventure-seeking and than the excitement that that we were anticipating coming even though we weren't 100% sure what or how is going to be

02:11 And how old were the boys that summer was six years old seven in October of 2011. So yeah Bennett had a great birthday with friends and a big sleepover and didn't sleep and all of that sort of stuff in our in our big guest room down there in in Statesboro where they had I think that's the party where they had the the glow sticks. It's a broken glow stick juice or whatever you call it. Got all over the the walls and the floors and the furniture and and not cleaning party is pretty much a normal typical 10 year old boy experience.

03:11 Soccer That season in both doing well in school and pressed with their impress their teachers and getting good grades and all of that sort of stuff. So it was it was a pretty good spring more so than summer in the summer. We work process of moving but the spring before those are kind of the things I remember from that and do you remember how the boys felt about moving to Atlanta? I don't remember how they felt at that time. I remembered the transition when they moved up here was very smooth for both of them. I said, they they certainly made friends they both did Scout and they both were we're doing. Well the spur herb and it was like his fourth Elementary School in 5 years or whatever. It was that being so he had had dealt with a lot of transition than we knew this was like the one year that both of them were going to be in the same elementary school, but it's just

04:05 They handle the transition better than we did in that for a month. I thought they were excited to come. I can remember didn't know it at the time. But I remember when we had one of our going away parties or something in there and Brian and taken our friend Jose camera and was like recording recording, you know, oh, well, it's a great day. My dad's moving cuz he's getting more money or whatever. It was anything on the video tape and we didn't know until much later that he'd done that but but I remember that Brian's reaction when I came over while he was laying on the hammock and he said, oh I recorded when even his camera and you did not record record on the camera, but he did and that's what he'd said. Do you have any remember when we found that other he done that again when we went to Illinois for Thanksgiving he's taken the camera on gone around.

05:05 Made him a video of himself being a ninja superhero Club Penguin and they were fighting and if you wanted to save yourself go inside the White House and they were running around in and of course that fall Brian's

05:25 I don't know if it was his favorite thing to do, but he certainly did it any chance he got was to bounce on the pogo stick hanging out before just at the corner of something happened that fall after we can move to Atlanta where he taught himself to do it cuz I certainly you nor I nor been knew how to do it. But he did it and was proud and got up to over a hundred jumpsuits with bringing that pogo stick everywhere. You went and impressively when he went to the farm in Illinois. He he jumped on that pogo stick, but it wasn't like that with soft rain or a it was soft during wasn't like it was a street or anything like that. It was grass and and hard drive around and everything and he was bouncing all over over the yard there were at so in addition to recording himself a video camera taking pictures of of himself and his brother to the extreme as far as

06:24 I remember that fall he would go outside anytime. We were going somewhere. He would be the first outside and he would be bouncing on that pogo stick. Just waiting for us to get in the car to go somewhere and he was looking forward to every chance you could say to do that and just to be out running around and everything. So they were both in Cub Scouts ending of this last year. We blows and Bryant been in his first year and they had the what they call the rain gutter Regatta where they make the boat you get a boat and then you blow on the sale and and the winner is the one who get their boat to the in the farthest and they first had the competition with their own packs with their own dens, and it turns out just randomly that been won his and Brian won his and then as a luck of the draw in the first round of the overall pack competition and Brian had to go against each other so we had to sit there as parents and couldn't be proud.

07:24 We we had we had that we couldn't pick up so we had to sit there and and and see how they both did and sure enough sure enough younger brother beat older brother in that in that one, but they both been was happy because he still got it was metal because he's one is is Denso so I can remember that happening and also remember bringing them to Georgia State football game earlier in November and having some fun tailgating and going into the Georgia Dome and seeing, you know, seeing some of the Georgia state traditions and watching watching watching them play.

08:02 Play there with you know, as you know, we did that a lot in Statesboro for the Georgia Southern game. So it was kind of trying to see how we like Georgia State and their football program and seeing all those sorts of things. So that's kind of what I remember, right? It just was such a like typical middle-class normal American southern family. I think is how I would describe the same sort of normal activities that you would think any kid would be into our kids were into really traveled a lot and try to do a lot of things. I remember feeling like there were very few weekends where we weren't doing something either. It was something here in Atlanta or traveling somewhere just to do it just because you could so talk a little bit about what happened then on December 1st.

09:02 Cats of 2011 on December 2nd of 2011

09:09 Again, it was a weekend. We traveled we had traveled back to Statesboro to go to a football game and have the weekend and that's when we were involved in a car accident. We've gone out as a family with my parents Ben and Brian and You & I we are on same vehicle and one in an in an accident and

09:29 From the scene Bend and Brian. Well, Ben and Brian and my dad were all airlifted from from Statesboro to the hospital in Savannah you and I also had some injuries. My mom was shaken up, but she no one's injuries were severe is pain and Brian's and and my dad's cuz obviously they were airlifted and as time went on bin Bin's in 3/4 and as originally worn as bad as originally thought my dad's pretty severe but he was able to get over them Brian's after a few days was still in very very very rough situation. So my dad was released Ben was released and had to come back and do therapy and stuff like that, but three days into it he

10:17 We have we had we you and I hadn't really left the hospital and and there were

10:22 Definitely concerns that he wasn't going to make it then the first 3 days after a traumatic brain injury, which is what he had Brian had acquired of a traumatic brain injury in addition to pelvic fracture and actually to take a step back then had a concussion that he also had some pelvic type injuries in my dad my dad had

10:47 Awesome cuts and some injuries, but but Brian's was by far the most severe and he was after 3 days of it when you acquire traumatic brain injury after 3 days. There's a concern of whether or not you are brain-dead or not. And I always have hated saying that term but after 3 days they did the tests and

11:12 It was a term. He was not brain-dead and that was a very euphoric time for us because in those 3 days we were very low and we had read up everything about TBI and saw what it wasn't just scared to death of it. But the first thing had overcome was the was the brain injury or brain death and when they saw there was brain activity in that there wasn't that wasn't the case after three days. We were very excited to hear it but still knew we had a long road ahead because Brian was still in a coma and still unconscious and still not responsive too much a few things here and there with pinching and some of the neurological tests. They did at that time. He three days until he was doing okay, but but it was still a long road ahead for him. And so that's what kind of happened it just went from literally one minute. Your life is totally normal.

12:12 You're doing just everyday typical thing with your family. The next minute your child is being flown off in a helicopter through the night sky being taken into emergency surgery without you even being there being told you're being told later that there's probably a good chance that he's not even going to survive the next 72 hours. How do you feel like

12:44 You're able to function with that. We were looking at Christmas lights. We went to this farm and got out walked around and I remember the boys cuz they had this little makeshift fake church at the Christmas lights and the boys got out there and pretended to AT-AT. They had them at this church. They got up and eat pretended to read a sermon pretended to be a freak. Then you go from that to being 15 minutes later. Like you say not knowing what's going on in with the

13:19 Lock with the miracle of someone happen to be driving by who had all the medical experience that could do that.

13:28 After the accident happened the car was on its side and and the

13:38 The original thought as it as it turns out. Somebody was driving home who in Bullitt County is an EMT and he was driving home. He saw that there was an accident turned on his lights came through and when he looked at it he thought he saw that bin are then 10 year old Brian had turned 7 by this time been with 10 and thought that the car had smashed on top of them in hat was really concerned for Ben Brian was silent. So he wasn't even making it sound. So this big guy somehow pushed this Ford Explorer up there were others that it helped but was able to pull it up push it up and we got it so that Brian was out they had to cut the seat belt and then they came out and got been out from under it and pushed him off to the side, but we can because Ben was conscious and and and upset and crying and yelling because he was hurt. Everybody was concerned with him. And and this gentleman his name is Tyler saw that and said, you know what we need to call and get been airlifted to

14:38 Hospital because minutes minutes matter because he was smashed by car. It turns out Ben was not as fast as we thought that he was at the time but because they had made the call to get the helicopter to the scene by the time helicopter got there a re-evaluation of everything that happened in it was determined that Brian was the one who needed to take the helicopter to Savannah and he literally had minutes and we were told later that

15:07 Brain would not have made it within without having started his surgery. Even another 20 minutes 20 minutes or 30 minutes. It would have taken for the ambulance to get to where the accident was would have been enough time that he may not have even made it to the hospital on the helicopter ride to get the air. They are vector a normal person driving down the street just doesn't call an Air Evac to come ambulance Tidwell turns out in the empty was there not only push the car up but made a call that one of our sons needed to go airlifted from the scene and turns out Ben was the first one it did take a little bit of time to get Brian. My dad airlifted did take extra time for been in my dad to get airlifted. Well, then actually went from

16:05 Pretty much not the scene, but the airport which was only a few miles away in a second helicopter that night both the boys sent off without either of us there.

16:21 That was pretty terrifying going into the three days afterwards. You have written a book called prayers from Fiji. Can you explain explain where the name Pearson P explain the story behind that?

16:37 Well, the whole community of people that we had been formerly live in a living in Statesboro. So we were back for that weekend. And obviously they were lot of friends and family close by who quickly heard about the accident. It's a small town word travels fast. And so we had a pretty sizable group of people in the waiting room. Just hanging on every word that the doctor would say about Brian because again, it was so tenuous could just

17:14 You could see the medical staff. We really didn't have a lot of optimism about his condition at all. And these folks were out there supporting us praying for us and my parents ended up flying down from St. Louis to be there that next day and by this time then had actually been moved into The Children's Hospital wing of out of the ICU and it was determined he was going to be okay. And so we at least have relief from that were free and he was upstairs and once my parents arrived, they really took over kind of being the primary caretaker for him because we couldn't be in both places at once and we really felt like we couldn't leave Brian side. We just didn't know any second could be the last for him. It really was that bad.

18:13 So as my parents were talking with then my mother said to him while your Uncle Dennis who is my brother lives in South Korea, and he and his wife were sending their prayers for for the boys. And she said so been people are praying for you all over the world and benza pretty clever kid and really funny and he wasn't trying to be difficult. But what he said back to her really sparked something amazing. He said well Grandma technically, we don't know anyone in Fiji. So I don't know that we really have prayers from all around the world and we just found that to be very touching and funny because here this kid is he just gone through this traumatic accident? His brother was unconscious in a coma

19:05 But he hadn't lost his his sense of humor and he was coping with this in the best way he could and that was by trying to be funny and that's his personality. So

19:19 We kept telling the story to the people waiting in the waiting room and you know in that kind of situation anytime you have anything to even make you smile much less laugh. It's so needed because you're just like

19:37 So anxious and scared and frightened, so when someone said

19:46 Well, gosh, don't you think that's great Fiji. Does she think anybody we know know is someone in Fiji? And that was it? It's sparked this amazing prayer chain that I've never seen anything like the people friends and friend started putting out on their social media. Hey, does anyone know someone in Fiji? We need prayer request for these two boys. They're both in the hospital here in Savannah and they really the older brother really wants a prayer from Fiji and it's in

20:22 A short amount of time not only did several prayers come back that were people who lived in Fiji but what began to happen was the story to spread like wildfire all across the u.s. All across the world and eventually it was a really positive.

20:43 Way for our friends and family who were sitting that waiting room to spend their time was to keep track of where all these prayers are coming from and that was an incredible thing to see you and they actually got a map of eventually and start putting push pins in it and

21:02 No doubt the first day even every state had at least one push pin a lot of States had so many they just kind of took up the whole you can even see map but all over the world and specially, you know, when we got Fiji, I remember them coming in and saying we got the easy and it was incredible because you know, it's just shows like we really are so connected to even though we were in the worst possible situation of our lives at that moment, you know, the whole group of total strangers were praying for our family and that was really I feel pissed at all.

21:47 In that 72 hours that you were talking about before that if Brian hadn't had all those prayers coming from all around the world. I just don't know you can't know but that to me made a huge difference. And with that one of the things that happened was someone from Lands End magazine had their Lands End catalog and heard of the story and put us on their webs on their Facebook page. So then within a few days we had four or five thousand people that they had said if you want to send your well wishes to this to this family and Georgia, please do so here and then we're for 5,000 one time a few years later. I tried to get a separate push pin and put it on a map and it was just too much work is there were thousands of them and international spots as well. And that was pretty cool because of that lands in also sent do $0.02.

22:42 With their local affiliates are some of their local stores that that had their products in Savannah. They sent some stuff for Ben who was just about to get out of the hospital and then they had Santa Claus come and bring it to and then Santa Claus had to find the prayer mat that you were talking about and had to find put put a pin on the North Pole in there, which was always very secretive place can stand it doesn't really like to hang out where where he's where his house is, but I remember that is kind of a cool thing.

23:16 Well, tell me a little bit more about what happened next with Brian and his medical diagnosis after initial diagnosis of oh, you know, what brain and he's not brain-dead. That means we got to go working from here and hopefully that's the last time I said, we're brain dead two weeks later.

23:41 A lot of stuff happened in that two week. But it was literally two weeks from the moment of the accident when some was a CAT scan or MRI two weeks later and MRI was fight. He was finally able to get an MRI done. He couldn't up until this for a lot of reasons and they also did some neurological tests and the doctors came in told Ellen and I

24:07 Is that good? Although he had just started breathing on his own and we were excited with that but they said that's a good thing. However, these tests are not good. So we need to meet with all the doctors. So we had a very traumatic dramatic meeting in a small waiting room.

24:28 And the neurosurgeon was there the doctors that we seen in the Pediatric ICU all of the nurses the pastures there were nine 10 Healthcare professionals + Reverend Rachel who we've gotten to know quite well who came in and told us

24:50 Now there's a chance of survival.

24:53 Still not good at this point, but there's a chance of survival and if that survival happens, there's no chance of Consciousness. There's no chance that he would ever be able to eat on his own or breathe on his own. He he would never really be kind of he would never really be awake. And and so the recommendation was that to their they're basically this was the prognosis. So what is it that you want to do? Do you want to take them off of the life-support or do you want to keep them on life support knowing that the chance of survival is going to be this and Ellen and I took that info and of course we were completely devastated to hear it, but we had seen the test and we had done a reading so we kind of had a feeling that this was a possibility that that's what they were going to say to us in that meeting. So we were somewhat prepared we ask them.

25:53 Do a second opinion and so they did get another doctor who'd worked with us who had some familiarity looked at the records looked at everything. They saw who agreed with the diagnosis.

26:07 Ellen and I went for a drive out to Tybee Island. We used to live in Savannah. So we knew the route. Well, we drove by our old house and Savannah went out to Tybee prayed talked figured out what we needed to do next and what was best for Brian and we made the choice that we made and

26:28 The next day we had taken at that point the breathing too. He had started breathing on his own. However, even from that time he needed the breathing tube again. So so so he was back to having to have it in order to breathe. He was getting fed through a tube. He was going through all those sorts of things. So we had made our our prayers and our peace with our decision and then Ben came and said his goodbyes to his brother and Ellen and I were there in addition to my grant my mom and dad others came on Saturday after this which was one day to say their goodbyes and

27:09 And then we were told if we're not sure how long it'll be after that. So we thought it could be a day could be 3 days what whatever it was and at that point the the the kind of care that change it change from trying to fight this injury to comfort care and so were like well, whatever it is we're going to do our best 3 days 4 days, whatever it is to to make it comfortable as possible after a couple of days in the Pediatric ICU. The doctors came and talked to us and said this is really not the spot for that anymore. Where do you can certainly stay here, but here are some of your options and the thought that we had because here Brian who was the same boy who been running around playing sports always wanted to go outside had not seen the outside. There was the window in his room. He had not seen sunlight or anything like that for 2 weeks. So I really really important to me to try to get into a spot with a window that would seem to be more important than almost anything else at that point.

28:09 I wanted him to have some daylight. So in the end we made the choice to go to a hospice and made all the arrangements made the calls were able to get in and figure out how to get that done and hospice one to being back in Statesboro, which at that time was the only home that he knew and all of her friends were there and so we checked into hospice about six days or so before Christmas 2011.

28:35 Do you remember how there were so many of the people following the story that didn't understand?

28:46 How we could suddenly be?

28:49 Basically, I think they're thought was giving up on him at that point. I remember a couple of folks who could come in and on that. I I I don't I don't remember too many folks that

29:04 That if they felt that strongly that way having having to mention if there were a couple of folks but I I

29:12 Nobody knew what we had to go through and the toys that we made no one other than our friends and and River Rachel were in that room with the doctor and it done the research that we had done. So we we knew what what we were up against still to be admitting a seven-year-old to a hospice was certainly

29:35 Really difficult for for us a lot of other people there as well because I think folks just want to feel like if you're a child, there's always a chance. There's always hope and what you're saying and I think what we heard from the doctors was that you know, what you're looking at is you're basically they're choosing for him to be in a vegetative state with on machines for an indefinite amount of time or you going to choose to let him go and obviously we made the choice we made

30:16 But being at the hospice did have a lot of great benefits for the family just as a whole. Do you want to talk about some of the differences from being in the Pediatric ICU for two weeks straight to be at a hospice facility praying for what was best for Brian and we listen to

30:46 The prayers we listen to the prayers and we had faith that we were doing what was best for Brian. We just didn't know that it was going to be quite turn out as as it was so we felt like moving. This was the right choice. Well hospice had a huge window. They also had a Christmas tree in the room. There was a blanket there that have been set for us. We always had friends coming by and what was amazing is

31:14 Brain wasn't supposed to make it cuz he could have been able to breathe on his own two days three days, whatever. It was. So 3 days came and went each morning. I kept texting my family saying okay if you still with us, he still doing well four days into it and then

31:31 4 days into it then been came a lot of stuff happened in this. Of time. We had the candlelight vigil both here in Atlanta as well as in Statesboro, and it was very touching that that in Atlanta people were in a thunderstorm people who we had barely even known some we didn't know at the time and they were having a visual as well as in Statesboro you and I alternated and we're able to go to the one Statesboro but then the next day then came and told us, you know, I know the doctors are smart and everything but I think Brian's going to be okay. I think he's going to wake up Christmas morning and he's going to start talking Japanese never understood the Japanese part, but we told him if that's what you think then.

32:14 Go home and pray for that and and he did and we've been through our followers. I remember how you and I had a conversation after been left that day. And it was really a turning point. I think because up until then like you said we were very focused on trying to do the right thing and trying to sort of be

32:48 Okay with whatever was going to happen, you know, and just to try to be strong about it and not to.

32:56 Try to say we we want a miracle that happened. I mean, we'd never had maybe use that word but I don't think in our hearts. We really truly had said we really need we just need a miracle to happen here until Ben came and said that I think being in that hospice where we'd finally could like breathe and settle ourselves helps put things in Focus there were also some folks having had time away and seeing other stories, but I think there were also some folks when we came out and said, you know what this is what Ben said, so we're going to we're going we're going to pray for a miracle. We're going to we're going to try to do this but it can't get any worse is how you and I put some folks looked at it and said to whom but you're giving been false false. Hope help with that and I did that aspect and even cross my mind till later when somebody had said that they that's what they

33:56 But when they heard that we were then trying to change it to get a miracle and and sure enough the next day all these thousands of people following the story. That's that night. Basically put out a message and said what?

34:20 Ben has asked has been his told. I told him about being stream and Anna told him to go home and pray for that. So please pray for that. You know, we are asking for a miracle. We're asking for prayers. Now that that that that Brian will get better and within minutes there were a ton of folks that email back saying we had never stop praying for that even though you were in hospice. We we continue to pray for that and and they got it and of course the next day the swelling in his head and gone down which wasn't supposed to happen. He made it 5 6 days in a row 7 days and still breathing on his own wasn't supposed to happen. He been reacting to some some requests that you and that that his grandma had made hate to look over at your family turned over that was never supposed to happen. So many things started happening that weren't supposed to so then we did in fact open his eyes. I wasn't on Christmas morning.

35:19 But it was two days later. We had to try the task of getting a specialist to come to a hospice which far as I know is not a normal request. So we had to get a neurologist did finally come take a look do some testing for pretty much after looking at him and making some call said this boy needs to be back in the hospital and then we went back to Savannah for a couple of weeks and then back up here to Atlanta Children's Healthcare. And since that time there has not been a single setback in his recovery has just been on a continuous climb. It's not always been quick hasn't been a fast recovery in many ways. But he's never slid back. It was really incredible to think like there. Was that moment in time and from that point forward.

36:17 It was

36:19 Not even a question of better. It was it was it was it was not a question of Willie get better. It was just we're getting better. Now. What do we do next now? What do we do next? We do next so

36:35 Two and a half years almost 3 years later. It's it's nice to see Ben and Brian sometimes even fighting with each other and arguing with each other cuz that's what brothers do to a point for boy who was never supposed to eat on his own talk on his own breathe on his own and he was sitting there running through a Finish Line of a 5k didn't run the race today, but he's has run a 5k sent but he ran through a race and gave everyone Hi Five went and ate the bananas at the end of the race and drank and which he does things you take those are all things you take for granted, but we absolutely take that for granted. You think your 7 year olds, of course going to be able to do those things and yet for so many months after this happened, you know, the process of rehabilitating him to learn how to do all those things again the really slow but yet

37:33 It wasn't it just leave sweet like anything. He did anything. He could accomplish what it was sweeter than the first time around. It was like you learn how to sit up. Oh my God. She's sitting up by himself, you know, he had control of his head. Oh my God, she can control his head. It was just that would probably more so than the first time he learned how to walk cuz you knew that was going to happen then but this time you never thought it would and then there was May 15th 2011 to 2012. And what is he doing someone's here to the address. That was amazing.

38:13 What do you feel like it is hardest now after 2 and 1/2 years about living with a kid who's gone through this. I think the the toughest thing is he he is different than other kids and he knows that he he does a lot of things they're sweet and special but it's still not what a Your Average now almost 10 year old would do and and I think challenging to him. So he doesn't give up on things Is We I guess you could say we kind of had lost hope it one time but I don't lose hope now at all for him in the future and I work with him to make sure he doesn't lose. Hope as well and I Think It's just tough because it's it it's a he's not able to do the things that that at all of the other nine 10 year olds are doing or if he does it's it's not as easy and

39:13 I think that's the biggest challenge. What do you think?

39:16 I'm a I think that is hard to know because you know kids changed so much and that. Of their life anyway, so what would he have been like now had this not happened to him, you know, we can't know that and so it's bittersweet to see you know him sometimes have struggles or difficulties because you're happy on the one hand. You have to be like that. He's even here and that he's not

39:48 Physically, you know, I'm incapacitated he can he has recovered so much of that and the parts that are still struggle are more emotional and social kinds of Behavioral things and it's so it is just so difficult cuz you want to just be grateful and you are for where he has come from and yet it's just you can look back at you know, that kid that was at the light show and realize like he's never going to be that again. I'll never be that kid again. I'm also very proud of both Ben and Brian because those who know the full story and everything that Brian has overcome as well as been not wanting to believe the doctors and kind of doing his thing. That's a very it that's been very inspirational to a lot of different folks and I've been very proud of that that that it makes me want to continue to grow and

40:48 Veteran and have them grow and get better.

40:52 I feel like just sharing this story with other people has really been a blessing for our family to because we're just like anyone else. So if we could get through like this something as severe and life-changing as this then I feel like people can get through other things that happened in life, you know, the difficult things in life and and we really feel good about that and feel proud of the fact that we've survived and we're happy and we have a lot of just your average normal everyday life experiences just like we did before to her now in simply sent her accident. We've met a number of folks who had similar accidents or something something very severe happen to them. And I think that that is probably a part of our future

41:52 Turn on that part of our present in the last couple of years. So I do think that this is a story that can give hope to those who have it on their darkest time because you don't give up. You never know. What what will happening.

42:06 I think that's part of Who We Are.