Bailey Susic and Rina Rhyne

[00:03] RENA RHYNE: My name is rena Rhyne I'm 41 years old, and today is Wednesday, June 3rd, 2021. I am in Towson, Maryland. I am having a conversation with Bailey Susic who is my neighbor, my friend, and my sister at this point.

[00:27] BAILEY SUSIC: I am Bailey Susic and My age is 36. Today's date is Wednesday, June 3, 2021. I am actually in Estero, Florida for the week, and my conversation partner is Rena Rhyne and she is my. You are my neighbor and my best friend.

[00:55] RENA RHYNE: All right, well, today Bailey and I are talking about letting go of expectations. Something we don't expect to do in our life.

[01:10] BAILEY SUSIC: No. No.

[01:12] RENA RHYNE: Well, let's start by talking about how you and I came to be best friends and sisters. Sisters. Just really not all that long ago when we think about it.

[01:22] BAILEY SUSIC: No. So what, have we been in our houses now, seven and a half years?

[01:26] RENA RHYNE: Yeah, just about. Just about. But, gosh, that feels like it's flown by. And a lot has happened from the time we met to today.

[01:35] BAILEY SUSIC: I know. I remember meeting you and having us having drinks that day before Thanksgiving. And just like, I just had never met anyone like you before. They. You were so confident. And I mean, because if you think about it, seven and a half years ago, I was 29. Like, I wasn't even 30, baby.

[02:01] RENA RHYNE: Yeah.

[02:02] BAILEY SUSIC: Or maybe I just turned 30 or something, but, you know, just so confident and direct. Serbian. We're a direct people. But, like, you don't meet a lot of people who are also direct and just, like, being, like, blown away by you. And then you would just, like, get straight to the point with things. Hey, do you want to travel together? Do you want to go to dinner? All right, let's make a date on this. Let's make a date on that.

[02:28] RENA RHYNE: I'm like, I think that was my need to have friends, but I'm glad you took it that way. Yeah. You know, I have to say, I definitely remember the first night we hung out and talking about expectations. Like, you come over and here's this beautiful young woman walking in the door with tattoos. And I definitely remember we were dressed differently. And I've come to learn since we've become friends, you, you are easily are a high end shopper. And I'm like, where's my Kohl's cash? And. But that first night, I remember so clearly, it was. We hung out for five hours and we had drinks. And I remember even though we had just met, talking about, like, what we would name your child, what Serbian name we Would have. And from there, the conversation went, oh, I want to take my 5 year old to India to see family. Because that was the first time I went to India to see family. So I'm going to take her. And somehow we got in this conversation about how we all love to travel. We were with our spouses, and you were coming on that trip. The next thing we knew, and you booked the tickets. I had never met anyone like you. Lots of people say they're going to do things, but you book the tickets. And gosh, not that long after we were on a plane to Dubai in India with my 5 year old.

[04:05] BAILEY SUSIC: You were like my savior, though, because I wanted to go to India so bad, and there was no way that I was going to be convincing rouse to go to India. You know, you're just like, this is what's happening. And I told him, I said, I'm going. You don't have to.

[04:20] RENA RHYNE: I remember you did that more than once in our friendship. You said the same thing about when there was an opportunity to go to Cairo. When Randy had to speak there. And of course, as his wife, I was like, well, obviously I'm going to come. And then our. Our child, who was 8 at the time, said she was going to come. And then you just, like my daughter said, well, I'm coming too. And we made Cairo happy. So in this relationship of seven years, we went from, hey, we're neighbors, we're different people, to we've literally traveled the world together.

[04:57] BAILEY SUSIC: Yeah.

[04:57] RENA RHYNE: And that's not even our biggest theme here.

[05:01] BAILEY SUSIC: No. No. And, you know, we. When we met you, we didn't have any children and you had son. But, you know, Craig and I were very into kiddos and stuff because we had our nieces, and our nieces were young at that point. They're all grown up now, but, you know, just. They kind of bonding over that. But when you don't have kids, there still is a different lifestyle that you have.

[05:28] RENA RHYNE: Absolutely.

[05:29] BAILEY SUSIC: And stuff. So in the course of seven and a half years, like you said, not only have we traveled together, but like, we. I've seen son grow up and go through things, and I. And then having Mila and stuff. So there's a lot of changes and growth as individuals.

[05:47] RENA RHYNE: Absolutely. And you do wonder if you start wondering if things happen for a reason. Like, we moved here to be neighbors. And yeah, we traveled together, but then our kids came into play, especially when you had Mila.

[06:02] BAILEY SUSIC: And I feel so grateful having known you at that time because, you know, and our theme is letting go of expectations. Expectations. You have this expectation. You know, I think. I think it's a totally natural thing for you to do. Throughout your entire life, you're told a certain narrative about things, and then when it doesn't work out that way, it hits you really, really hard. And I think for women, especially when it comes to motherhood, that you're, you know, you'll have a pregnancy and you'll have the baby and you'll breastfeed and you'll have milestones, and, you know, sometimes it's frustrating, you'll lose sleep. But these are all just, like, joyful moments. And for my journey at I guess about 32 weeks, to know that my daughter wasn't growing anymore and knowing that she was going to have to be in the nicu. I mean, they told me that while I was still pregnant, processing that. What do you mean? I can't go home with my baby? It doesn't make sense to me. It's not. That's not what. It's not what you told me would happen.

[07:13] RENA RHYNE: You know, it's not the plan. That's not how I planned it.

[07:19] BAILEY SUSIC: And then, like, so many unknowns of what does that mean with being in the NICU and visiting and are there other issues? And we don't.

[07:29] RENA RHYNE: We don't.

[07:29] BAILEY SUSIC: We don't know anything until you have that baby. And at that point, San was five. Six.

[07:37] RENA RHYNE: Six. Probably at that point.

[07:38] BAILEY SUSIC: Yeah, she probably just turned six.

[07:42] RENA RHYNE: Close birthdays.

[07:44] BAILEY SUSIC: And you had gone through a similar experience. And I remember sitting in a car, we were going down to our spa day, and my belly. And you just, like, kind of reassuring me, but not. Not in a way that was placating or not acting like the NICU wasn't a big deal. It was just kind of a reassurance of, like, I've been here and I know what you're going through, and you'll. You'll get through it, but it will also be hard.

[08:15] RENA RHYNE: Yeah. I think it's important when you're trying to support someone to not sugarcoat it. This is going to suck, but I'm here for you. I've been there. And, yeah, the nicu.

[08:31] BAILEY SUSIC: And you had an even longer experience in the NICU than I did. I mean, son, was she in there for six months, four months?

[08:38] RENA RHYNE: No, no, no. She was 31 days. But it was definitely one of those, like, one day we went in. It sure did well. And as we both know, one baby, first baby. It's not like we've had five kids before, so we can roll with the punches. Having a child in general, everything's unexpected and you cannot prepare for it. But then having a child with health issues or early is just on top of that.

[09:13] BAILEY SUSIC: Yeah, I think that. And that's one of the things that through this process, because now I'm four years in, and even when I was pregnant, having Mila, we didn't know that our journey would continue so long and still is going to continue. And I. The process that I had to go through with grieving, seriously grieving, expectations of what motherhood would be, first steps, just all of it. I didn't get words. First words. Climbing out of a crib. I remember so specifically we just found out Mila had scoliosis and she's getting fitted for a brace. And so this was two years ago, and we're at our friend's 40th birthday party and our friends were having kids kind of at the same time. And two of the women there were talking about, oh, how frustrating it is that their child is climbing out of the crib. And I just, like, I had to walk away because what I wouldn't have given for Mila to. No, I'm not crying.

[10:27] RENA RHYNE: And that's okay. You're allowed to cry.

[10:30] BAILEY SUSIC: What I wouldn't have given for Mila to be big enough to climb out of her crib, to have the strength to climb out of her crib. I mean, you know, for people who may listen to this one day, like, Mila was just very small and. And she also had hip dysplasia, so she was in that spica cast for five months. So it really delayed her physical milestones and stuff. And just. It's all relative. I understood that rationally with people, but emotionally, I really had a grave expectations of how things were going to be and expectations of other people understanding. Yeah.

[11:15] RENA RHYNE: It'S. You know what's interesting? You talk about all the physical stuff, and that is so important because that is a big part of having a kid, is those hitting those milestones. You almost feel like it's like competition a little bit with other people. As much as you say it's not, and you don't care what people think it is. Is your kid walking? Is your kid talking? But something I always noticed about Mila, and I've told you this 100 times, and I'm not just saying it, I remember the first time we came over to see her when she got home from the nicu. She was just so bright eyed and alert and aware. Until this day, you know, almost four now she is just Sass. And she knows what's going on. Like, do not mess with this tiny, fierce woman. She. She knows what's going on. And that's. Honestly, it's really awesome. It's been awesome to see her grow. And we've, you know, we were close because we traveled together and we. We live a house of heart, and we just have this connection, even though we're so different and even our husbands did and. But we've really, we've been over at our house talking about Mila and you guys and honestly, Bailey, when you told me you were having a girl, I'm like, oh, her and this girl, they're going to be like shopping at Nordstrom's every week. And like, I could picture it. Like, I'm sure you pictured it. And not that you can't do that, but it's different. It is.

[12:54] BAILEY SUSIC: It's different. And, you know, in the, in the little things that people don't probably process or think about on a daily basis, that I just don't have those options. Like, Mila is still in like nine month clothing. And that was a big thing to let go because it seems superficial, but it isn't. Like, you think about having your first child and dressing them and, you know, putting this baby in, and when you have a preemie, you don't have the options. And the idea that you can't even really buy your baby clothes. It's like you've taken a very normal thing away from me. Another one that I remember that just. It just like hit me with shoes because Mila's feet are so small and I could not find hard bottom shoes that fit her. And we're at Nordstrom's and, you know, try and having her try these on. And I just sat down and almost started crying in the middle of Nordstrom's. I was just thinking, like, it's just something so basic for people, like, no matter where you're shopping. And I didn't get that. That wasn't going to happen for me. And she's now almost four and I still have a hard time finding shoes for her and stuff. You know, again, those are like superficial type examples, but those are like the benign examples that people don't think about and then think about all of the.

[14:20] RENA RHYNE: Appointments, like, oh my gosh, all the.

[14:22] BAILEY SUSIC: Specialists that we have. And most parents don't have to worry about taking their kiddo to a chiropractor, an slp, a pt, a hepatologist, a geneticist, an orthopedic, like, and then that's that's my. That is my journey and all that I know about motherhood, since Mila's are only. And I envy. I envy people so much. But grieving that like, that, it's not fair to envy because it's. I don't know what their journeys have been either. Sure.

[14:58] RENA RHYNE: And, you know, you're not someone who. I mean, everybody cares what someone thinks to a certain extent, but you're not someone who just like, generally does. And so going through that grief and having to envy that in itself is difficult. Like, who are you as a person? That's gotta be a struggle.

[15:18] BAILEY SUSIC: Yeah. Like, will she ever get married? You know, honestly, at some points during everything, I didn't know if Mila would make it to adulthood. Like, I don't. I mean, it wasn't that somebody said that to us, but it's just all these things are so scary and they seem so insurmountable, and. And it just. It's difficult. So, like, letting go of that and having to do a lot of work on myself for that and giving myself time to be sad and depressed. I'm sure I could have been diagnosed with depression or ptsd, most likely. And so I had a lot to get past, and I'm still, obviously still active work. And then, you know, added on all the conversations we've had about who am I, like you said, as a person and as a professional, and.

[16:24] RENA RHYNE: Oh, gosh.

[16:25] BAILEY SUSIC: And as you know, I took two years. Two years ago, I took a step back to spend more time with Mila, and just her appointments just got to be too much to have kind of full time, traditional employment and make sure she was getting the best care possible. And I went to two of my mentors, Nancy Grazmick and Kathleen Case. And these are, you know, older women, and they've experienced things. And they both told me separately, this is just a blip in who you are and what you're doing. And I also remember them saying, which is so phenomenal to me, maybe everything you've done in your life has led you to this point to be Mila's mom, running leadership, knowing sign language, like, being fluent in sign and, you know, being able to research things and communicate and talk to doctors and be resourceful. Like, maybe all of the things that I've done professionally have led me to where I need to be personally. And that blew me away.

[17:35] RENA RHYNE: I mean, you do what that whole, like, why do things happen the way. Not the way we set them out or expectations we have of how it's supposed to Go. You don't know something you're doing in your life now, how that's going to benefit you or help you later. You know, you saying that reminds me of. You know, we're talking about letting go of expectations, as you know. You know, I expected that my mom was going to live till she was like, 95 and give Sami all the Indian culture, because I grew up here in America and I love Indian culture, but, you know, I'm not the most cultured person and.

[18:25] BAILEY SUSIC: Wait, that's so untrue. What are you talking about?

[18:28] RENA RHYNE: Oh, you gotta meet the other Indian kids who watch all the Bollywood movies and do all the dances.

[18:35] BAILEY SUSIC: Okay. Okay.

[18:37] RENA RHYNE: Well, and I think evidence is my. My husband is not Indian. Like, that's part of it. So that's why my mom was supposed to do the thing where she gives Sanvi all the Indian food and all the Indian culture. And she did the first six years, but when she unexpectedly died, that changed everything.

[19:04] BAILEY SUSIC: Well, how do you. That idea, that expectation that. I know we know our parents are not going to be around forever, but to be so young and to not have your mom, I just. I can't imagine that.

[19:19] RENA RHYNE: I mean, you know what's interesting, I felt I was really young. I was 36, which still feels young because my mother in law's mother is still alive. So, like, her and I have talked about, like, caring for a parent together, even though we have such a big age difference, obviously, because she's my mother in law. But, you know, as I've gone through my journey of grieving my mom and, you know, taking in my dad and caring for him and realizing that Alzheimer's was setting in, so many people that I knew in my regular life started saying, oh, my mom passed away when I was 19, and my mom passed away when I was 30. And it made me realize how much I did not know these people and how big of a deal that was. And I think before that happened, and I think a lot of people are like this, and I hope I'm better about this and as I get older, but just empathizing, just. I'm sure someone has told me their parent has died. And I'm sure I said I was sorry in condolences, but then I went about my day. And much like, you know, when you talk about Mila, I felt like I wanted to reach out to you because I know what it's like to have a NICU baby. I know what it's like to have a preemie baby because I experienced that. But I'M not totally sure I could have related had I not. I definitely think I would have been a nice neighbor, but I'm not. The closeness we have today, all of that factors in, even the stuff that sucks. But going back to what I was saying about why things happen, you know, how they're supposed to happen. So after my mom died, dad moved in with us and you were so sweet to come over and answer his repeated questions about visiting the Taj Mahal. That is true. You were the sweetest. It was like six times. I'm like, okay, dad, you need to go to bed.

[21:24] BAILEY SUSIC: He was such a sweet man. He was such a beautiful human.

[21:29] RENA RHYNE: Absolutely. I mean, that could be a whole storycorps episode in itself about my dad coming to this country with his $8 in hands and raising a family. But, you know, I thought about how when we moved to Towson, how Randy and I looked at 50 houses. No joke. Like, we've got to live in a single family home. We're a family, we have a daughter. None of the houses worked. And we were finally like, let's move into those urban town homes in Towson. And I was like, okay, fine, for five years, whatever. And then fast forward and I have to put my dad in memory care and what is in our neighborhood, a memory care facility. Literally a 30 second walk from our door. And that just blew my mind. I was like, all the time we spent looking for houses, I did not expect to live in a townhouse as like professionals with a child, but we do. And when my dad moved in with us and had to move into memory care, it really worked out that I could pop over there a few times a day because as, you know, like, culturally, I struggled with putting him in memory care. And people do not do that. They are more now and things are changing. But it was something that was needed.

[22:55] BAILEY SUSIC: And what a gift it was to have your dad so close.

[22:59] RENA RHYNE: Oh, my gosh. Absolutely. Absolutely. I felt like, you know, the facility was great, but it was nice to go over and check on him. And honestly, like with when Sambi at the time, she was like 6, 7, 8 when he was there. And I. I really think it's had a huge impact on her as far as empathy and how you treat people. Because we know she has some snark. She could do it with me. I'm sure she'd do it with you because she's so comfortable with you because you're Bailey auntie, not just a neighbor. But man, I take her over there and just the way she would do the thing you do with the Taj Mahal with my dad, she'll just let people repeat themselves and she'll answer. And that made me feel good that she had that in her to have that empathy or maybe that developed in her because of that experience. But, you know, but all of it. That's not how it's supposed to go. You know, I'll tell you my plan, what I had planned when I was, like, 20, and then you could tell me what you had planned, which I'm sure we talked about this before. I was supposed to start this really awesome nonprofit somewhere internationally and do really great things, and I was going to get all this, like, international attention, but I wouldn't want it because I was so humble.

[24:22] BAILEY SUSIC: It's very specific, by the way.

[24:24] RENA RHYNE: Very specific. I didn't know if I was going to have kids, but I was definitely adopting, like, six kids. I was going to do the Angelina and Jolie thing. Yeah, it was gonna be great. And in this story, like, obviously, my parents were gonna live forever because I love them, and everything was gonna be fine. And it wasn't gonna be a baby born at 2 pounds, 13 ounces, and then seven months later, having to get surgery on her skull to make sure she didn't have some kind of cancerous cyst. And it's. No. No one preps you for that. No one preps you for being the caretaker of a parent. I was too young for that. Some people were 36 and, like, still going to the club. Now, I was out of that because I had a child. But, no, not. Not. Not in the plan. Not in the plan. I wrote my diary when I was a teenager.

[25:21] BAILEY SUSIC: Well, and I think things are always changing, right? In society, Cultural expectations and stuff. But I think, you know, during the last 10 years, for women, it's. There's been a lot of significant changes in business. When I first got into my career, you know, you're essentially told, don't, like, leave personal at home. You don't talk about anything going on. You got power through. And I worked. Even though I worked for a nonprofit, I worked a lot with military. So it was very massive masculine culture and stuff. And over the years, and especially since having Mila, I feel that we've started to change, at least in the Baltimore business community. We are not two separate people. I'm not Bailey professional, and then Bailey, Mom. Like, I'm the same Bailey. And there's this idea of, like, work life. Balance is an antiquated model. I'm not balancing these two things. They live together. They are. And then in the idea of being able to talk vulnerably and authentically, transparently. And you mentioned earlier about, you know, that people will say, oh, I lost my parent. You never realize, like, how many people have lost a parent. And it wasn't until I started talking about Mila and sharing my story that how many more people I connected with. And I think that was a huge learning process for me to not be envious of things that I didn't know about, but kind of flip it and connect with people because they probably have had more shared experiences than I realize, you know, even though it's not the exact same thing. You know, no one knows what it's like to lose your parents as your. But. And nobody knows. And, like, Neela's situation is so ridiculously unique. Like, there's no. There's no support group for, like, there isn't. But it doesn't mean that a person who has a child with other medical complexities can't understand, like, they do. They understand what it's like to navigate a healthcare system, to have to be resourceful in the way that you're doing things, talking to doctors, being an advocate, like, and. And I think that being able to talk about these things and not have those lines of who we are anymore has been such an amazing learning process for me and I think so valuable for people. And again, that was an expectation that you had as a professional, and then kind of coming in going, like, fuck this expectation.

[28:10] RENA RHYNE: This is stupid.

[28:11] BAILEY SUSIC: What are we doing?

[28:13] RENA RHYNE: Yeah, absolutely. I remember going to a job interview years ago and specifically making sure I didn't mention that I had a daughter or I had a kid because I didn't want to not get the job for that. Forward to my most recent job interview. I was all out there. I'm like, I'm a parent in the school system that I wanted to work with, and it didn't hinder me. I'm sure in some places it can, but you're right. But I don't want to work for you. Yeah.

[28:45] BAILEY SUSIC: And, you know, in 10 years ago, 15 years ago, we may not have had a choice. And I got into my career in 2008, so during, like, right when the financial crisis was hitting, and I felt like I had, like, the last job available in Baltimore. So, you know, like, I was okay with accepting all those things. And I was young, you know, you just learned so many things. And when I say young, I never mean that in a patronizing manner.

[29:12] RENA RHYNE: Right.

[29:13] BAILEY SUSIC: But there's something to be said about experience and yes, and I know I will look back at 36 year old me when I'm 55 and I've learned a whole lot more from here.

[29:24] RENA RHYNE: And well, it's like we look back at ourselves before we had kids.

[29:30] BAILEY SUSIC: Yes, less wrinkles.

[29:34] RENA RHYNE: Definitely less wrinkles. Less gray though. My hairdresser definitely gets more money now. But.

[29:44] BAILEY SUSIC: And I like, with being a mom and trying to navigate a very complicated situation with Mila, I've had to learn that you can't. You have to live presently. And my husband and I talk about that so much that if we just are constantly worried about what's going to happen a year from now, or, you know, Mila's eventually going to have to have spine surgery. And that's a big surgery. And if we just worry about that now, we're going to miss out on the moments where she says things like, thank you, mama. Or like, I called her the other day since I'm away, she's like, love you, mama. Bye, bye, mama. And I'm just always worried about those things. And that's something that you really. It's a mindset, you know, that you have to get yourself in that you don't get to right away. It's telling yourself all the time and doing a lot of work on that.

[30:50] RENA RHYNE: Well, and like you said earlier, it's constantly doing the work. It's not like you get in the mindset and you're good to go, like, because you are allowed to grieve and you are allowed to say that sucks. It's.

[31:04] BAILEY SUSIC: It's work. And I've. And you know, I think. And you and I have had these conversations so many times. Even allowing yourself just to be sad that you're always supposed to be on it. Right? And stuff. And I have literally been in a situation where I'm like, you know what? Fuck this. I'm staying in bed all day because I'm just fucking sad right now. I'm sad. This sucks. I don't want this to happen for my daughter. I don't want her life to be harder. That's the thing. Why does her life have to be harder? Make my life right. And, and then. And even telling my husband, I'm just sad today. And so I'm just going to lay. Yeah. And. And being okay with that. Not feeling guilty about that. Giving yourself that time to process.

[31:49] RENA RHYNE: I think you're exactly right. I feel like there's so much inspirational stuff on every mug and T shirt and everything. You see, see? And you know, today I'm gonna Actually complain about this and grieve about this and not like it. And, you know, we know. And this. This goes both ways, right? Like, we know that being grateful and appreciative helps us get through those moments. So I'm grateful for the memory care. I know I have to be grateful that my dad had the money saved that he could go with memory care. There were people having the same situation, and they had to keep their parent at home because memory care is not cheap. And we could go on and on about what we can be grateful for. You know, we, us and our spouses, all educated, successful people. We are. You and I are allowed to take that spa day for a break. And we know not everyone's there. On the flip side, though, we're also allowed to say, yeah, I got all these great things, but that doesn't mean I'm not hurting.

[32:51] BAILEY SUSIC: Right?

[32:53] RENA RHYNE: It's. It's that balance and each day can be different, you know, and even, you know, we talk about expectations and work and how you such a career driven feminist woman and taking a step back from your work for Mila. I thought that was amazing. I know that was hard for you. We talked about it at length.

[33:23] BAILEY SUSIC: For me, it's amazing. I kind of subscribed to Buddhism and putting good energy out in the world and stuff. So it was amazing to me because I had already started a process for myself of healing and everything. And when I told my clients, because, you know, working for the marketing firm as a VP and I told my clients, like, hey, I'm, you know, gonna take some time off, and people are like, oh, dope, I'll just work with you. I was like, what? And like, yeah, no, no, I'll just work with you. And so I got clients because I was authentic about that. They wanted to follow me because I was transparent about my situation and not my situation. Sounds so clinical. Like, my life, my beautiful daughter, my beautiful life, I was transparent about the hardships of it. And people were not doing it because they felt bad for me, because they liked a business partner who had the same values that they did. And so I just feel so blessed that over the last two years I've been able to build a business, but still be there for my daughter and tell people, no, sorry, I'm at PT during that time. I can't. I can't be there or I can't take that phone call and stuff. And now becoming my own advocate, like, letting go of the idea that other people are supposed to be my advocate for me, that I need to Be my advocate and say, this is, this is what I want things to be. This is the voice that I want to have.

[34:52] RENA RHYNE: And that's true feminism. Right? Like, we've all been through that in our own way. It's that we get to do what we want to do and the once is sacrificing for our kid. Like, I've worked part time up until this past year because my spouses worked a lot and a parent needed to be there. And that was a struggle for me. And it was a struggle for me when we went to the cocktail party and everyone oohed and ah'd over my spouse. And I was like, I work part time and raise the kid. Well, the kid's pretty awesome. So actually I will take credit for that. Well, nothing against my spouse 100%.

[35:35] BAILEY SUSIC: You take credit for it. Just because we're having this conversation so many times when you're one of the most beautiful humans I have ever met, the kindest person. I learned from you. I remember driving down the road and we're at a stoplight and stuff and you just like reach in the back of your car and grab like a granola bar and a bottled water and hand it over to the person who is asking for money. Not because you didn't want to give them money, but because you specifically asked your husband to stock you up with cases of water and canola bars so you could do that for people. And I was like, wow, you're just. There's something special about you. And my favorite quote, we were talking about this earlier. My favorite quote from. And I tell people all the time, yes. My best friend talks about like she was the best mom before she had kids.

[36:33] RENA RHYNE: Oh my God, I was so great before I had kids. I never yelled before I had kids. I gave my kid all organic food.

[36:43] BAILEY SUSIC: Forget that.

[36:43] RENA RHYNE: She ate like Chick Fil a chicken nuggets like last night at like 11.

[36:48] BAILEY SUSIC: Right. Mila's diet is gluten free noodles and butter, but she did for a year. So I don't care that that's your diet. Like you, I had to take you to a feeding clip. Please eat all the noodles.

[37:00] RENA RHYNE: Right? It's. And I think it makes you empathize with other people even if they don't have the same exact situation you do. You're like, you're going through something and I, I got your back in some way, shape or form, in at least in the sense that I'm not going to judge you.

[37:17] BAILEY SUSIC: Yes. I think probably one of my biggest learning experiences, experiences I was Always a kind person.

[37:25] RENA RHYNE: Absolutely.

[37:28] BAILEY SUSIC: Just an incredibly kind person. And I'm not saying that to, like, boast about myself, but it's just like, I now look at everybody. Most of the time. I'm not perfect, but with no judgment because I don't know what they're doing. If they didn't hold the door for me at Starbucks, I don't know if they just got a huge fight with their husband and they're just in their head, or their aunt just passed away, or they had zero sleep because they have three kids and they're a single mom or whatever it may be. And so I just kind of treat the world as, like, I just don't know. And that's a freeing concept, I think, in a lot of angry at people for not living up to expectations of holding the door. You know, saying the thing at the perfect moment or whatever it may be.

[38:15] RENA RHYNE: That's a big thing. And you, you know, I know you subscribe to Buddhism, but, like Buddhism and Hinduism, it talks a lot about, like, letting go of expectations. And that's not in a negative way. That's in a. Exactly what you said. It is freeing. And one of my favorite quotes. And we can kind of end on this because I know we're hitting time, but is. I think it's Plato. It's be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a battle. And that is the truth, whether it's this big and for one moment or whether it's this big and they're their child for four years to every single specialist imaginable as you have, and yet you still walk out your house dressed better than me and with your hair done. So we're going to have to talk about that. That's my envy.

[39:02] BAILEY SUSIC: Those are the things that keep me going. Right. I feel like Serbian Baba, you know, you always do your hair and your makeup.

[39:09] RENA RHYNE: I love that. You've inspired me. Honestly, I think I dress better because of you. Because I'm like, well, I'm going to hang with Bailey.

[39:16] BAILEY SUSIC: Oh, no, you dress. You're a pretty dope dresser. You're cute little.

[39:21] RENA RHYNE: You inspire me in many ways. Love you.

[39:27] BAILEY SUSIC: I love.