Beth Parks and Marlene Parks

[00:04] BETH PARKS: I'm Beth Parks. I'm 52 years old. Today is July 15, 2023. We're in Kalamazoo, Michigan, and I'm here today with my mother, Marlene Parks.

[00:20] MARLENE PARKS: I'm Marlene Parks. I'm 86 years old, 85, and it's July 15, 2023. We're in Kalamazoo, Michigan. Beth is my daughter and my driver.

[01:04] BETH PARKS: I wanted to bring you here today to talk about. To talk about your memories and to try to get them recorded.

[01:26] MARLENE PARKS: Hmm. Well, I grew up in Windsor, and after high school, I came into Michigan as a commuter to Wayne State University, where I got my degree. I married an american and left Canada and became a citizen when I was in my fifties.

[02:05] BETH PARKS: Yeah, when you were just a baby, world War two. Two began, and it began earlier in Canada than it did for the United States. You guys entered in 1939. Do you remember anything about World War two? I know you were just a toddler, but maybe in particular, do you remember Uncle Harold being involved in World War two?

[02:38] MARLENE PARKS: No, I wasn't aware of the politics and stuff.

[02:46] BETH PARKS: Did you know that he was away.

[02:50] MARLENE PARKS: That who was away?

[02:51] BETH PARKS: That Uncle Harold was away, that he was part of the war effort?

[02:59] MARLENE PARKS: Not as a child? No, I don't think I was aware of that.

[03:03] BETH PARKS: Okay. When you. When you were a teenager, you got interested in art, and that's part of what got you going to college?

[03:17] MARLENE PARKS: Yes.

[03:18] BETH PARKS: Do you remember when. When you started getting interested in art and you were encouraged by your parents?

[03:32] MARLENE PARKS: Right. I actually became interested in art in high school, but then I pursued it at Wayne State University as a student. And during the early days of that, I met and married an american. So I eventually moved to the states.

[04:02] BETH PARKS: Right. You guys lived in Detroit first?

[04:05] MARLENE PARKS: We did. We lived in many different places in Detroit. When we were first married, we were like gypsies.

[04:18] BETH PARKS: And were you still going to school?

[04:21] MARLENE PARKS: Yes.

[04:21] BETH PARKS: Okay.

[04:23] MARLENE PARKS: Actually, Jim was going part time. I was going full time. He had a full time job, so he only went to school part time.

[04:34] BETH PARKS: Okay. And he was in the art classes that some of the art classes that you were taking?

[04:40] MARLENE PARKS: Yes, that's where we met.

[04:42] BETH PARKS: And he was going to school on the GI Bill?

[04:45] MARLENE PARKS: Yes.

[04:46] BETH PARKS: Yeah. After you guys. Was it after you graduated that you guys decided to move to Sparta?

[05:01] MARLENE PARKS: We got married before we moved to Sparta, yeah. And lived in Detroit for several years first, and then moved to Sparta, which was a family farm, and Jim's uncle didn't have any children of his own, so he was going to leave the farm to Jim if he continued farming it.

[05:37] BETH PARKS: So that was when you guys moved to Sparta Now, what was that like for you growing up as a city girl, moving out into the country?

[05:46] MARLENE PARKS: Well, it was quite a change, I.

[05:49] BETH PARKS: Bet, because there were. It was a dairy farm, right. And there were cows.

[05:55] MARLENE PARKS: Yes, it was a dairy farm.

[05:58] BETH PARKS: Had you ever been around cows before like that?

[06:01] MARLENE PARKS: No.

[06:06] BETH PARKS: And you had two little kids?

[06:09] MARLENE PARKS: We did. One evening, Jim came up to the house and he said, if you want to see a calf being born, you better get to the barn right now. So I ran down to the barn and saw the first calf born that I'd ever seen, which was quite an experience.

[06:28] BETH PARKS: It's pretty neat. Were there any complications? Did everything go smoothly for the calf? And it's small.

[06:35] MARLENE PARKS: Oh, yeah, no problem.

[06:37] BETH PARKS: Oh, that was good. So you guys were milking. Do you remember how many cows you milked?

[06:45] MARLENE PARKS: No, I don't remember.

[06:47] BETH PARKS: That's a tough one, isn't it?

[06:48] MARLENE PARKS: Yeah. It was barely enough to make a living on.

[06:53] BETH PARKS: I know dad said you guys were really poor going back to when you were in school, when you were going to college. Were there very many women that were attending college at that time? Because it was in the fifties?

[07:17] MARLENE PARKS: I would. Yeah, I would say so.

[07:20] BETH PARKS: Do you think the student body was half and half?

[07:23] MARLENE PARKS: Not quite.

[07:24] BETH PARKS: Not quite. Did you get treated all right as a woman?

[07:29] MARLENE PARKS: Sure. Well, I did.

[07:31] BETH PARKS: I'm glad to hear that. What do you. Okay. We talked about the difference between being a city girl and a country girl. How about being. Do you. Do you notice any big changes between your upbringing in Canada and your kids upbringing in the US? Do you think it was pretty similar?

[07:59] MARLENE PARKS: Pretty similar. Pretty similar.

[08:06] BETH PARKS: How about the difference between growing up in the city and having your kids grow up in a rural area?

[08:13] MARLENE PARKS: Well, that was quite different.

[08:14] BETH PARKS: It was. Do you think you had advantages living in the city?

[08:23] MARLENE PARKS: Sure. Yeah.

[08:27] BETH PARKS: A better school system or. What do you think were some of the advantages? You got to go to Detroit whenever you wanted. Pretty much.

[08:36] MARLENE PARKS: Right. Job opportunities were greater, basically. Economic. Yeah, it was better.

[08:52] BETH PARKS: Yeah. You had more opportunities?

[08:55] MARLENE PARKS: Better opportunities, yes.

[08:59] BETH PARKS: Tell me about your siblings. What are the age differences?

[09:08] MARLENE PARKS: My sister was a year and a half older than me, and my next sibling was a brother, and he was seven or eight years difference.

[09:25] BETH PARKS: So there's a bit of an age gap.

[09:27] MARLENE PARKS: Yeah, quite an age gap.

[09:30] BETH PARKS: And then how old were you when Mary Lee was born?

[09:37] MARLENE PARKS: Hmm, I don't remember.

[09:42] BETH PARKS: Do you know how old she was when she passed away?

[09:47] MARLENE PARKS: She was very young.

[09:50] BETH PARKS: Was she a year old yet?

[09:54] MARLENE PARKS: Not quite, I don't think.

[09:56] BETH PARKS: And it was pneumonia.

[09:58] MARLENE PARKS: Yes, I remember my dad. My mother had been up with her for several days and nights, and she finally. Daddy finally got her to lie down and go to sleep, and he was sitting up and watching over the baby. And that's when she died. And it was the first time I ever saw my father cry, so that was quite an impression.

[10:37] BETH PARKS: And then did you guys have a funeral for her and.

[10:46] MARLENE PARKS: Yes.

[10:47] BETH PARKS: And is she buried with.

[10:51] MARLENE PARKS: She was cremated, and her ashes were buried with my mother when she was. When she died.

[11:01] BETH PARKS: Okay. All right. Um, can we talk about. I want to talk about laughter, because that's been a big part of our lives.

[11:18] MARLENE PARKS: Yes.

[11:21] BETH PARKS: Is that what made you attracted to my dad, because he was funny?

[11:28] MARLENE PARKS: Yes.

[11:32] BETH PARKS: And you love to laugh.

[11:36] MARLENE PARKS: That was part of the attraction. He lived with, let's see, four other fellows, they shared a rent in a house and they had parties every weekend. The girls got in free, but the guys had to bring a bottle. So we had parties every weekend for those few years, which was pretty exciting.

[12:29] BETH PARKS: Did. When it comes to your dementia diagnosis, I think you've been very brave and you've approached it with a lot of that humor. Sometimes when you forget something, we just laugh about it, and I'm very thankful for that. If I or my brother or sister were diagnosed, what advice would you give us?

[13:26] MARLENE PARKS: Diagnosed with dementia. Dementia? Hmm. Geeze, I haven't thought of anything about that. Just do the best you can with what you remember and carry on. I don't have any great advice.

[13:55] BETH PARKS: That's not bad. Do you think, um. Do you ever feel sorry for yourself?

[14:11] MARLENE PARKS: No.

[14:14] BETH PARKS: That's amazing.

[14:18] MARLENE PARKS: I think I've had a very, very happy life and a lot of fun along the way and great experiences. Your dad was quite an adventurer.

[14:34] BETH PARKS: Yeah, he was, wasn't he?

[14:38] MARLENE PARKS: Yes.

[14:39] BETH PARKS: What is one of the best adventures that you would like us to think of when we think about you and dad?

[14:48] MARLENE PARKS: Well, I think when we went to Colorado with Jean and Bernie, that was a great trip and we had a wonderful time.

[14:58] BETH PARKS: Yeah, you did, didn't you?

[15:00] MARLENE PARKS: It was. Yes, it was a good experience. And ended sadly, but.

[15:12] BETH PARKS: Well, it didn't end sadly. It was two weeks later that Bernie died.

[15:18] MARLENE PARKS: Yeah. Shortly after we got home, and that was tough. Yeah.

[15:25] BETH PARKS: But at least you always have that memory of that trip, right?

[15:31] MARLENE PARKS: Bernie was killed in an industrial accident, and he was my husband's closest friend, so it was a huge loss.

[15:43] BETH PARKS: Yeah. He and dad liked to ride motorcycles together.

[15:48] MARLENE PARKS: They had some really good times, good.

[15:51] BETH PARKS: Trips together, and he was understanding of dad's alcoholism and dad not drinking.

[16:02] MARLENE PARKS: He was, yeah.

[16:04] BETH PARKS: That made him an even better friend, didn't it? Yeah. Bernie was a good guy. I'm glad that you guys had those memories in that time together.

[16:19] MARLENE PARKS: I am, too. It was a wonderful couple of years that we spend together. Really?

[16:27] BETH PARKS: Yep. Well, mom, thank you so much for doing this with me.

[16:33] MARLENE PARKS: Well, you're welcome. I'm glad I still have a few memories that I can share.

[16:40] BETH PARKS: I am, too.

[16:43] MARLENE PARKS: It's.