Betsy Funk, Donald Spivey, and Judith Spivey

Recorded June 16, 2020 Archived June 16, 2020 40:04 minutes
0:00 / 0:00
Id: mby019822

Description

Betsy Funk (61) talks with her parents, Donald "Don" Spivey (89) and Judy Spivey (88), about raising how Don and Judy raised their four kids in the wilderness, the importance of being in nature and taking backpacking trips, dressing in costumes, and the importance of always being yourself despite all odds.

Subject Log / Time Code

DS and JS talk about why they chose to raise their kids "in the wilderness," in or very close to wilderness.
JS talks about the simplicity of life in the wilderness, particularly in Alaska, and DS talks about not having to worry about lots of aspects of humanity while living in the wilderness, especially contemporary aspects.
BF asks DS and JS if living in Alaska and the Sierras has informed their decisions of where to settle down.
DS, JS, and BF describe an epic backpacking/crabbing trip, BF thanks DS and JS for giving her and her siblings this lifestyle.
JS describes the Alaskan sky and seeing the Northern Lights, describes it as celestial.
JS says her four miracles in her life are her four children.
JS says a potential regret is not settling in one neighborhood.
JS and DS share what they'd like to say if this were to be their last conversation with BF.
JS and DS share what they think their family legacy is.
BF, JS, and DS describe their epic Halloween 'spook houses'.
JS describes some costumes and their significance to the family.

Participants

  • Betsy Funk
  • Donald Spivey
  • Judith Spivey

Transcript

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00:00 Funk I'm 61 years old and I'm okay. Hi. My name is Betsy Funk. I'm 61 years old today is June 16th 2020 and I'm here in Whitefish Montana walking to my parents, Don and Judith Spivey just about some things they want to talk about.

00:23 Dad, why don't you go ahead and play? My name is Dan Spivey s p i v y and my ages on 90-89 rather 89 years old today, Tuesday, June 16th, and I'm in Whitefish Montana and my conversation Partners the Pearl daughter Betsy and wife Judy.

00:48 Hello, I'm Judy Spivey. I am 88 years old. Today is Tuesday, June 16th. 2020. I am in Whitefish Montana the name of Ark on my conversation Partners is Betsy my daughter and on my long-term partner and Buddy.

01:13 My husband so we can start talking now. Okay, don't I'm I'm here to talk to you guys and you can just talk to me. I was thinking about a lot of things growing up and was thinking about all the places we lived and all the things we've done from backpacking took, you know hiking in the Sierras and and we're going to the Wilds of Alaska and and I was I was

01:42 Chewing on the question of as a child that we were often in Wild places with the two of you all four of us kids. And I really wanted to know about your connection and draw to wildlands and why that was so important for you to bring us for kids up a place that is close to the Wild and then one that's a little bit more theoretical and practical answer is it was inexpensive? They didn't have a lot of money that's in the other aspect of the wild is if you away from the Clutter of civilization and then into a different sort of are you are you the world is quiet and peaceful and and and you can deal with things without interruption from Humanity.

02:42 Anaya

02:44 Would say that we met way too soon to have a serious relationship. We were Fourteen and fifteen when we met and married when you were 19 and 20 and we were in college both of us so finances were very sparse and that he's right we did go off in about inexpensively, but everyone doing part of it. I remember so many things that we did when we participated everybody did it together and it was a great deal of fun. Give me an example of that cuz there were four kids. I remember going into the bush and Dad find a sauna pontoon with a 44 Magnum in the back pack forbearances. I never saw but I remember Tom shot a porcupine with it. I was I was wondering sort of what kind of things

03:44 We do it when you had four kids who had tasks. Can you give me an example of that? Well, then the best representation was when there was something to be done in the house and it was Saturday. I'd have a list and there would be things for each person to do including myself and my beloved and I would say to the kids come and put your name beside two of these things in the first person that gets their gets to choose their first things and now that's how it basically got famous done more. We had a list bedroom wall at me by day6 people and six things changing all the time and it was some good way to

04:36 Extended responsibility and also learned about all kinds of things that had to do to maintain our family life was what about in the wilderness. That was great put up the tent get things ready. Go wander around just basically doing it absolutely doing it. If it rained we even got rid of wet or we stayed in the tent and it just was great day by day was from waking up with the sunshine and going through the day having your meals and then going to bed when it's dark. It's so pretty lovely simple way to live that. They're going to special Dimension because we could do

05:27 Allow the children to with a free-range route to take off on their own. She was a little notion. We just agreed that we would be at a certain point on a certain day to pick some up and not worry too much about the things that people worry about now that we're going to be at eight people only animals, you might see a Veracruz about that. But otherwise you're on your own. You can't pee you're feeding yourself. Then we're going to see you in about a week and we could do that. Now we could do it here that we could do it in Alaska when we live there and because it was kind of an environment where you were relaxed and comfortable and then worry about you much except bears.

06:28 I will for kids in the wilderness Mom. Did you ever feel like that was like I don't with the word. I'm thinking of you ever feel like that was overwhelming to have all four kids and Dad fly off in a bush plane and all the sudden there you are stuck in the wilderness with the for kid. No, I think I've always been the person and I think I've expected in anticipated that we all would that every one of us would basically do what was correct for us, and I think everyone of us basically

07:07 Was fairly sensible Bowl still open for adventure and would understand what to anticipate and do themselves. Even when we went into the our first big backpacking trip was actually we were taken into the Wilderness in the in the Sierras by horseback and don't and we had a little girl who was about three and a half and we were going to leave her behind the closer. We got to the departure date. I said, we can't leave her behind so we took her in holding her in front of us and it was a great experience. I don't even know if she remembers that she does she has pictures of it was a it was just a great time. We basically do things.

08:01 Better there in front of us. Once we were we were on a picnic and we didn't have any not didn't have any spoons. So their father who got some wood and who took out his knife and carved spoons for a little things like that doesn't seem very desperately important, but it was great fun. And I think most of the things we did were

08:29 Where are The Adventurous and later if we did things together as athletic events in school with the 10 than we we cheer and we hold the coats and come back and have bills that was just had a pretty good life not I will say it wasn't heavily pre-planned, but it did occur and it seemed to work out pretty well. I would comment about Alaska and then you could just do things that nobody will consider the children by one of our oldest daughter and her friends Road from Anchorage to Fairbanks distance on the highway as Katie and Honor by Santana.

09:28 And then make your way to their final destination what she did very successful and pick him up at another location several days later on the river, but just wants to do them very very easily and the captain of bottom of the backpack until Tom is that he's going to be porcupines. I wonder if if you're experiencing, Alaska informed

10:18 Teacher choices to live close to where they were wild places.

10:22 Is that what's important partially mostly when we purchase the home and the moved the Wharton part was to be close to the job. So there wasn't so much necessity or the father and mother and children to be to be able to be out to have to be on the road in Southern California many people chose to buy new houses in the new subdivisions after World War II and the day would drive for 2 hours to work in 2 hours home, which are considered a very stupid thing to do. So we so we try to always live close to schools and shopping and

11:12 And to work and school and bath but we wanted to do and it seemed to work out pretty well. So what I remember is a child was living in places that we could always just get it somewhere that wasn't touched by civilization who is getaway. I remember in the Sierras seem to the right off the back door beside our home. However, I can actually walk to get a shot at the hospital or at our doctor and I can walk to and from the local market so

12:12 What's up, pretty a pretty nice situation the beads by a river and also have neighbors right next door still be able to not have to drive drive drive drive drive for things that had to be convenient. But I think that's I think that's wonderful. We were really really lucky if kids. I think all four of us feel like we had an experience with you guys that most kids didn't I remember the trip into the Sierras on the horses you guys but that wants Kelty backpacks came out. We all had a Kelty backpack and no more horses. We are carrying our own load and we would hike in the most wild most wonderful places either stay in the cabin or stay somewhere else. I remember going into the bush with

13:04 Are cousins and staying in a forest service cabin? And you and Uncle Phil building crab nets and take out of found materials and bringing in king crab for us to eat at night. You couldn't exactly bicycle or hike to that one. We had to take a take a boat and go in a cabin and it was it was a pretty special times Celine sound in in Alaska with their describing it and that's an area where the title changes 30-plus feet with everybody that we had a motor on a just running in the Stream didn't have to fish. You just walked in the streaming you grabbed the salmon and throw it out right now.

14:04 With the barest who are around but they didn't eat too much. I just took a slice out of the out of the about on that trip for the tides about to a tree that was kind of leaning out parallel for the water. We forgot that the title change is going to come and when we got ready to leave lo and behold the tide had dropped and the boat was hanging way up in the air.

14:37 Sidewalk that we all had to walk back along the course goes like Oh my God. It was the best that we were so bummed when the Crab Pot stopped working. You lost the Crab Pot down in the ocean. That was one of the best times I think being a kid being raised in the tribe of outgoing people was really important to me and I want to thank you for giving us that life because a lot of a lot of kids didn't have that. They didn't have the chance to go the wild places. We went to in to live in the beautiful places that we lived in we were very and have continued to be very blessed by that living here in Northwestern Montana next to the wild still.

15:27 I have a couple more questions. I want to know if during during your lifetime. If you have experienced anything that you would call a miracle things that things that I called you. I know you seen things with medicine and you seen things happen that that are all historic. Could you share with me anything that you would think of as a miracle? I remember driving in Alaska across country and looking up at the sky and it was one side was Daylight and then it was a specific line. The other side was nighttime. They were magic things the the Northern Lights would occur in the middle of the night and I'd Rush the kids out of watch and I don't expect expect Celestial music to come out.

16:28 And now we just had

16:31 Are they called the time during our marriage and with the kids there been it hasn't been all perfect and movies that are sad times. However, I do believe that neither of us had a set pattern of I remember as a kid thinking. Oh, I wish I could do that giggling. This is Junior High School. I wish I could do what those girls are doing. They look like they're having so much fun. And naturally they just be silly and I said I can't do it. I wish I could and your dad was as a kid all all our lives. We've said this seems to be the thing that quote being done right now. Why don't we do it but we never could we had this my guests at our own.

17:19 Center on

17:21 Federal Life ways as we thought that you wasn't always perfect, but it seemed to work out. What about you?

17:33 Well, I'm glad I was just thinking of something that was I don't know if I'd call it a miracle.

17:43 In Alaska also is that I really filled with salmon during the season 1 and of course we flew out into a river on the other side of the

18:01 The sound from Anchorage and this was guys issue.

18:11 And we were coming in to land on a sandbar what you did you could see the Bears all along the road just fishing and having a good time. So we got done and then in order to get to the fishing hole, which I and all I had was a fishing rod had to make my voice or some hours in Parker brush along the shore and when I broke through that to the water right in front of me was a massive brown bear brown bear that's been over ten feet tall and he was standing up and and of course almost had a heart attack, but he had just caught a salmon and he didn't pay attention to me a random walk down to the river or for miracles of those are the

19:09 Are for children for all marvellous and the very different love each other and love themselves and have produced beautiful grandchildren flora and I cannot sync of more miraculous thing than everyone everyone told him. You're the great grands are healthy intelligent and beautiful and what could a person ask for more in their life, that's more than 30 people. So how many tolls are there between 30 and 40 that doesn't matter, but everyone is fine all of us have our own ideas and all of us have our own goals to reach out.

20:09 Not but it's quite an extraordinary. What is in jail? Nobody has any kind of difficulties of all healthy. They're all reasonably happy and they're all productive individuals and and do not reflect on that. Sometimes has that's almost a miracle when you consider the number of children involved and grandchildren and great-grandchildren keep producing more great-grandchildren. Well, maybe they're going to come for her 75th wedding anniversary next year. We're going to

21:09 75th is in 5 years 6 years. Are you got married? I finally gave up and she convinced me that we had to get married, but that's all right. You did a good job. You're you two of you to last and stayed the course and and that's not that's not what a lot of people do nowadays. That's pretty unique to have been married this many years and to be your one, you know one mate. That's a pretty magical thing. So so it sounds like you're pretty grateful for your life and I'm pretty grateful for the kids. But do you have any regrets about about life that you can think of perhaps it?

22:09 Is that we didn't stay in one neighborhood for the duration of our kids lives so that they could build these long-term relationships that can record seem to be more common. We lived in quite a few places and not any place overseas with the kids, but we did live in a variety of places and just as soon as we would move Don was with a company what would move him and we would go and he would have his work related relationships and would seem to jump right into the middle Italy. We on the other hand had to find new friends new haircut news grocery stores and everything else. So it was a little dramatic but the nice thing about it we moved to different kinds of temperatures so that every time we moved we had to get a ho

23:09 New set of clothes or I'll tell you what as a kid. One of the gifts of moving was that you got really good at being resilient and figuring out how to make friends and how to solve the situation your end and find A New Path and it gave us a chance as kids to forge relationships with y'all say, although they weren't down the road our whole life. We have friendships all over the country and all of the world as a result of the places you brought us all of the children learn new cultures and new local cultures anyway, cuz we're all these were in the US but

23:55 That was an advantage to them and so we'd appreciate is that I think over time but we missed I think the opportunity to live in long-term relationships continuity actually lived in this house for rent right now longer than it's a pretty nice thing. You have some amazing relationships are in Whitefish as a terrific. I wonder if I wonder if you guys were thinking if this was our very last conversation you and me the three of us at this is our very last conversation ever, right? What would you what would you want to say to me?

24:45 Have you thought well, I did think about it. And there's anything I would try to say is be yourself.

24:55 Be kind to people try to contribute to the community you live in and be a person that the everyone was in the community would recognize us as a positive number and a contributing member to the the life of the community ed. Say I love you very much and I admire you as me and your brother and your two sisters. I appreciate.

25:33 What I've learned from you and also the indulgences you showed me or some of my Corky ways and it has been an online pleasure to be part of your lives.

25:52 Well, thank you. I've never thought my parents were crooked. I just thought that our family did things differently. We just did things differently. Is there anything that you never told me what you would want to tell me now, I'd say that I don't know if I've never told you this but the part at the end is I Delight in who you are and I encourage you to keep growing everyday of your life.

26:26 I think you got home. What about you?

26:32 I think that's our just saying be yourself and be a Community member and be very positive and and don't let people change you in ways that are uncomfortable in the end.

26:46 Wrong just keep growing in doing good things. I was always we taught our kids to

26:56 Become British awesome fishing an independent spent a lot of time and energy are doing that and lo and behold when I grew up they just they just left they just took off and they live all

27:12 They all live in nice places though what we learned to live in a place that makes us happy and feeds our soul at least I hope so don't you think so.

27:37 Kentucky and Anna, Montana

27:46 What what do you what would you say is our family's Legacy?

27:53 I don't think we messed anything up for anybody else for not messing anybody else. And I think that's pretty good. So I think that any Legacy might be just a few and expressions of enjoyment of knowing wall. Once again as parents of four children. We left behind some quite marvellous people that are contributors. They are who they are and they are allowed to be if that's difficult to understand sometimes because the world seems to want to make us all be something. Maybe we aren't and then ye Meng ye for the kids.

28:52 That's maybe the Legacy and hopefully that'll be passed. I think.

28:57 That's going to happen. What would you say your family?

29:05 I think the family Legacy. Is that the time?

29:09 No, nobody's ever been in jail.

29:15 And they're all healthy and they're all happy and they're all doing it and doing productive. I can't imagine with the number of children and that we haven't brought her family was marriages and what have you that that would be the case, but it is and so the legacy is a family of contributors. Does it give me attorney that live in and you are basically good solid citizens. I think it's pretty garage. Dad with the garage with all the kids brought the bicycles. Everybody brought the bicycles to your garage or something needed to be fixed or if I wanted to create something I do into the garage because my sisters were good in the kitchen. I just left that to them I go into the garage and I think that show me how to do this. I want to build this I want to make this and you always figured it out. I found it interesting that your daughter.

30:15 Married makers people who make things doors people who build things and make things and fix things.

30:29 When we lived in Alaska Halloween this very long involved trailing and hanging noodles and a nobody who came to the house could get a treat unless they went through the OG stand. Let's let us go and he said no, it's your school cos you have to take it down and put it away. It was so scary. Dad had a costume. I remember dad costume. That was cool costume for the Pasadena Playhouse. I remember when I was in a different town.

31:28 It's true this weird maze that you built out of tar paper that they had to crawl through in Alaska. And I remember this is still when there was Winter on Halloween Halloween costumes and crawling through this and at the end you would be there in your ghoul costume and you scared them. So badly and break the evening some of the parents.

32:00 Even one kid would want to go.

32:02 Go to get babies on the porch and used for grand piano and and had made recording is a spooky scary music and screaming and moaning and I'm all over the lawn and from work and how it was a big house big neighborhood. Lots of people coming in and the kids had to reach through a bad thing to get a tree to we screamed at the men. They will cry and cry on the porch. She had to go up on the portion and goes through this.

32:55 Smokey sings reaching to try to get something and I have this costume. That's when I'd had this area cost him and I would come up behind them came down the stairs again.

33:20 Go into the house because it was so scary. She just sat on the lawn and I are you scared the Halloween know what he told me was because he had great big Hershey bar candy bars to give people at the end. He says so he could go to another stop. Well, I remember Camas was Halloween costume with mask and

34:10 He got very upset spending and even even when I took him in and

34:16 You watched me get dressed and put on this costume. He was still scared. It was a Seer I borrowed it once for a Sam's when I was about twelve scared everybody so bad. They sent me home have an occasional costume something other than just Halloween. Sometimes you just go to work or you know that boy you scared with the costume ended up doing theater and loving stress.

35:00 Tell me about it. It was from the deer was just hideous colors. I bet it was a terrible kind of a grayish religion is always gas today was gray and vanilla colored and it looks like a face that had been through a meat grinder an amplified was not my dad.

36:00 That he needed that we needed to have a Santa Claus. So we made a Santa Claus.

36:07 Goth clothes and a friend came over with the wig and we made hair and everything and Don wore that until literally it wore out. It was a huge success with the kids got a little older. He couldn't come to the door or heat wave from the dark outside Santa Claus and red ring his Bell costumes are very important to remember that I do because I use that costume as of a fundraising events for the local private fire department then if they were going to make a big donation to the fire department and present a gift and have fun with the kids, but they had to eat.

37:07 Well, I'll all but one of my favorite my favorite thing. I remember about that costume was the final time. I saw you where it was when we were in Whitefish with all the cousins and you were going to do the Santa costume and we had to have the bells. We got you in the Santa costume and you ran through waist-deep no ringing the bells in the distance. So the grandkids could see Santa in the outfit. It was hilarious all the older people are we just forced you into it? We made you one more time and temp guys, so I guess I think I think if I if I want to wrap this up, I think that I just want to thank you for being my parents on a thank you.

38:07 For raising us in the way you raced us. I want to thank you for teaching me the importance of flame dress up because I still do it which is great fun. I want to thank you for showing my children that it's okay to be bold and it's okay to have voice and it's okay to do things differently than everybody else because you guys never did do it. Like everybody else is it was not dangerous. I heard anybody have to be yourself me that I could help you with or that you that you thought of

38:48 No, I told you I'm a here-and-now persons. They seem to work pretty well. If you adapt to the think about it and adjusting get into it. What about you doing? Well, I'm glad I would sure the judges comments. I feel the same way you are because so many things.

39:25 Shared more, but I want to thank you for spending time sharing some of this with me. I love you.

39:41 Do you have 10 minutes?

39:52 Just poking your nose.