Brenda Ford and Alison Hopkins

[00:04] ALISON HOPKINS: My name is Alison Hopkins. I am 27 years old. Today's date is February 14, 2023. And I'm at StoryCorps Atlanta with my colleague and dear friend Brenda Ford.

[00:15] BRENDA FORD: And I am Brenda Ford. I am 52 years old. Today is February 14, 2023. I'm at StoryCorps Atlanta, and I am with my colleague and dear friend, Alison Hopkins.

[00:27] ALISON HOPKINS: Hi, Brenda.

[00:27] BRENDA FORD: Hello.

[00:28] ALISON HOPKINS: You just said something about getting revenge on you. Oh, I have no intention of doing that.

[00:34] BRENDA FORD: Well, you're. I'm just giving you permission. Let's put it in context. The last time we recorded was five years ago to subtract. 2018. Yeah, 2018. It was in June of 2018. It's been a while.

[00:56] ALISON HOPKINS: We meant to follow up in June of 2020, which did not happen.

[01:01] BRENDA FORD: Did not happen because things fell apart. Well, I mean, because, Covid, we didn't necessarily fall apart, but the world did for a minute, for longer than we expected.

[01:14] ALISON HOPKINS: Mm hmm. And I think I fell apart a little bit.

[01:17] BRENDA FORD: Well, probably me too.

[01:18] ALISON HOPKINS: Maybe not in the early days, but I think the longer it went, the more I was like, I don't love this.

[01:24] BRENDA FORD: What? I remember when Covid first started. I guess when we were first, you cut your own. You sent me a picture. You cut your own hair off. Like, not all the way, but you did a Covid haircut on yourself. And you're like, well, it'll probably grow back in, because we were thinking we were at home for a couple of weeks, right? And you're like, it'll grow back in by then. And then, you know, we didn't see each other for a year and a half.

[01:52] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah. Because I had a. I mean, I've had a pixie cut since I was, like, 14 years old. And I'm like, well, you know, if I'm gonna be in the house, no one can see me for three weeks. This is the. This is a great opportunity to do what my mother and I are always threatening and just be like, I just shave it all off. So I buzzed my head.

[02:10] BRENDA FORD: You buzzed. Okay. You did not send me a picture. You just told me about it. I didn't realize. You totally buzzed your.

[02:15] ALISON HOPKINS: Well, I mean, there was, like, an inch of hair left because I was like, I don't know how my skull looks a little.

[02:20] BRENDA FORD: Did your mom join her? She didn't.

[02:22] ALISON HOPKINS: She wasn't brave enough. And I was like, motherhood.

[02:25] BRENDA FORD: Oh, mother, this is the perfect opportunity. It was a perfect opportunity.

[02:29] ALISON HOPKINS: And then by the time that, like, I was not with, like, the world didn't open up or anything, but by the time I was on camera. Cause I started grad school online. I had a full pixie back, and I had gotten to experience that fully shaved head, and I was like, eh.

[02:45] BRENDA FORD: And nobody even. Nobody even knew about it.

[02:48] ALISON HOPKINS: I have pictures.

[02:49] BRENDA FORD: Unless you wanted them to know.

[02:50] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah, I have pictures. So I got proof.

[02:52] BRENDA FORD: I didn't realize that you. Because when we talked before, you were. You'd been accepted to grad school, kind of freaking out about being accepted. I didn't realize that you actually had to start graduate school in the virtual. Yeah, in the virtual on screen learning. I.

[03:10] ALISON HOPKINS: And that. I can't imagine that first semester, I was like, that's not how I planned grad school, but I'm willing to try it. The first semester went really well. The second semester went kind of okay. And then they wanted us to come back to in person hybrid classes without. The Georgia Board of Regents was not totally clear on the guidelines.

[03:33] BRENDA FORD: They're giving mask, no mask.

[03:36] ALISON HOPKINS: Right.

[03:37] BRENDA FORD: Were there no vaccines at that point for your age group?

[03:42] ALISON HOPKINS: And that's the thing, is, like, some people were getting them and some people weren't.

[03:45] BRENDA FORD: Yeah. What a mess.

[03:46] ALISON HOPKINS: And teachers are like, well, I do kind of miss having an in person classroom, but if we're going to do it, we have to make allowances, kind of this. We're just winging it in, like, a.

[03:56] BRENDA FORD: Half way wild west of that.

[04:00] ALISON HOPKINS: Right. It's not the. We're used to in person, and now we have to go virtual. It was the other way.

[04:04] BRENDA FORD: Yeah.

[04:05] ALISON HOPKINS: And I, like, just felt terrifying. Felt uncomfortable as a result. Has slowed down my progress through the degree. Yeah. I still have a lot of anxiety because I had, like, I got vaccinated, boostered, and then I had Covid, and it knocked me out for, like, two months.

[04:23] BRENDA FORD: Oh, my gosh.

[04:24] ALISON HOPKINS: Like, it really just painful. So I have. I still have anxiety about, like, being in a classroom surrounded by people and, like, my classmates, the adults. The grad student population is fine, but there's all the, like, 18 year olds on campus that are like, I'm invincible. I'm never gonna die. So the frat boy.

[04:47] BRENDA FORD: Oh, to be young.

[04:48] ALISON HOPKINS: Oh, to be the frat boy.

[04:49] BRENDA FORD: Oh, to be young.

[04:51] ALISON HOPKINS: So it's been a weird sort of journey. And I got my new formulated booster, like, a week and a half ago, and so I've been, like, not masking up as hardcore as I have been, and it feels weird in a different way.

[05:07] BRENDA FORD: Yeah.

[05:10] ALISON HOPKINS: But, yeah. And then, like, I just. I missed being able to come into.

[05:16] BRENDA FORD: Work and see you, and I. I missed you too. I missed you, too.

[05:19] ALISON HOPKINS: Virtual participants.

[05:20] BRENDA FORD: Seriously, we were, when we were sent, I left this office on, I don't know if it was March 12. It was a Thursday. I think of it as a Tuesday. Daniel always says Thursday. I was wrong. He was right. He and I were the only ones here on the Thursday where we got sent home. And he was just like, kind of, you know, nonchalantly like, hey, Brenda, you should probably take your computer home with you at that point in time. I did not take my computer home with me. I did not make confirmation calls from my cell phone. I had, you know, this was strictly come into the office. If the participants show up, great. If they don't, you know, look at the wait list, see what we can do. But there was no. So, and I, you know, it was going home with the intention of being there for, like I said, like, two weeks and did not step foot in this building for the full 18 months. And now I mostly do all of my confirmation calls from home on my cell phone. So people text me at midnight. They call me at all hours of the day. I am pretty much on the clock 24/7 that I work 24, but I, you know, and I'm just like, well, I was not expecting, I was not expecting that to come out of. Take your computer home. We're probably going to be there for a couple weeks. So, yeah, I don't enjoy, I don't. I enjoy my job and the participants, but I text me at midnight. Come on, people. Come on.

[07:07] ALISON HOPKINS: And, like, I'm in my twenties. I understand that, like, texting feels less intrusive than calling people, but I think if you're, if you're reaching out for some kind of business thing or an appointment, like, business hours don't. Not midnight. Not midnight. Absolutely no later than, like, 08:00 p.m. yeah. And then don't expect a response.

[07:29] BRENDA FORD: Oh, I respond. So, yeah, and so Daniel's like, you do it to yourself. You do it to yourself. And I'm just like, okay.

[07:37] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah, okay. So this, like, the world is. It's weird.

[07:44] BRENDA FORD: I didn't mean to get you talking about grad school. Cause last time you, I over asked about impending grad school and stressed you out, and then I'm like, oh, no, I'm getting her to talk about grad school again.

[07:56] ALISON HOPKINS: No, it's fine. It's kind of a weird experience to do. And, like, it was weird and it was hard for me, but I had cousins that were starting undergrad, and they're, like, going off to college 2020, my sister graduated and was, like, lucky enough to find a job. And I'm like, well, this was weird and hard for me, but at least I wasn't starting something new or I wasn't in elementary school. And I feel so bad for all the parents that were like, oh, I.

[08:27] BRENDA FORD: Felt bad for the high school kids who.

[08:29] ALISON HOPKINS: Or missing out on.

[08:31] BRENDA FORD: Yeah. Especially if they had to do their senior year learning virtually and not that high school is the end all of, but I just felt bad for the kids who couldn't have a prom or couldn't be in their graduation gown with all their friends and stuff, because I did not have a great high school senior year, but at least I do have. I, you know, I would. I am glad I have those types of memories.

[09:05] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah. I have something I can look back and, like, laugh and cringe at instead of just feeling like I missed out.

[09:10] BRENDA FORD: Well, I guess they'll look back and laugh and cringe, too. It's just a new. It's not. I'm not saying it's a. Well, I kind of am saying it's an inferior experience, but it's what they. It's what they. They weren't alone doing it. They've got a whole population of seniors who did all did the same thing. So they can look back and laugh, hopefully.

[09:28] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah. Yeah. It's. And, like, imagine if you had been really looking forward to it, and it's march and you're like, oh, we'll get back in time for that. Or, like, if you were.

[09:39] BRENDA FORD: You've already purchased your. Some people probably. I mean, by March, some people have probably already purchased their dress, maybe. Or they knew. I don't know.

[09:50] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah. And, like, if it's a really big deal, like, you're looking forward to graduation and your family's really proud of you, and then you can't get together and celebrate. That seems really shitty. So, like, I can complain all I want about the disruptions and the discomfort, but I feel like I got off easy in that way.

[10:15] BRENDA FORD: When did you. I'm sorry, I'm so throwing this back at you. Did you start dating Justin during COVID Yeah, kind of.

[10:26] ALISON HOPKINS: Well, yes. So, Justin is my fiance, and he moved up from Florida to move in with my good friend Palmer in, I think it was March of 2021. So it had been a year.

[10:41] BRENDA FORD: Oh, okay. So we were still. We were in it. We were in the thick of COVID when he came.

[10:46] ALISON HOPKINS: Okay, we were in it, but it wasn't new anymore.

[10:49] BRENDA FORD: Right.

[10:49] ALISON HOPKINS: I. And vaccines were rolling out, and it was starting to be a thing. And I was like, palmer, are you sure you want to, like, have some.

[10:58] BRENDA FORD: Stranger come live with you from Florida?

[11:00] ALISON HOPKINS: Exactly.

[11:00] BRENDA FORD: Because you don't even like Florida.

[11:03] ALISON HOPKINS: I do not. I've had terrible experiences. I got stuck in Ocala for three days after dropping my baby sister off at school, and I just will never forgive the whole state for that experience.

[11:14] BRENDA FORD: I know that about you. So Palmer is having this stranger come live with him from Florida.

[11:20] ALISON HOPKINS: What do you know? Like, we've been playing D and D online for years, and I'm like, okay, like, good luck with this. Like, I love you. I'm not. I'm not in a position to be your roommate. And, like, I'll help you move. I'll help you clean out your kitchen. And then it was a couple months where I was like, palmer has a roommate, but I've never met the person, right? And, like, I would be like, hey, Palmer, come do this thing. You're welcome to bring your roommate. And he'd show up, be like, yeah, justin's busy, or whatever. And so for Palmer's birthday, which is June 8, which is the day before, my dad sounds like June is just a whole thing for me. He was like, we're gonna go see this movie. And I'm like, cool, sounds good. Justin's birthday is later in June, so they decided we're gonna go see this movie together. We're gonna celebrate our birthdays. And so me and our friend Varan and Palmer and Justin show up, and I somehow get sat next to the new guy.

[12:16] BRENDA FORD: Somehow. Cause is he ugly?

[12:19] ALISON HOPKINS: No, absolutely not. So, I mean, he was wearing.

[12:23] BRENDA FORD: So how accidental was his seating arrangement?

[12:26] ALISON HOPKINS: It was totally accidental. I don't believe you very much. Was like. I hope I'm, like, between the two people that I know, because we're here to see a movie version of a musical.

[12:37] BRENDA FORD: What? You what?

[12:39] ALISON HOPKINS: Not even.

[12:40] BRENDA FORD: What movie?

[12:41] ALISON HOPKINS: In the heights.

[12:42] BRENDA FORD: Okay.

[12:43] ALISON HOPKINS: Like, I'm not big on musicals, but Palmer is, so I'll do it for him and to be.

[12:48] BRENDA FORD: And you just. You just, like, took. You just like, I will sit next to the stranger.

[12:54] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah.

[12:55] BRENDA FORD: Okay.

[12:55] ALISON HOPKINS: Right? And so halfway through this movie, this person that I have only just met for, like, ten minutes an hour in this movie theater bursts out crying.

[13:04] BRENDA FORD: Oh, my God.

[13:05] ALISON HOPKINS: I don't know how to handle this situation. Like, I'm just.

[13:07] BRENDA FORD: He's crying at a musical, a movie version of musical.

[13:11] ALISON HOPKINS: It was. Okay.

[13:12] BRENDA FORD: Cause that makes a difference.

[13:14] ALISON HOPKINS: I know. I mean, it does to me. It would have been a stage play. I could have involved in the emotional myself. A little more, which I think you probably appreciate.

[13:24] BRENDA FORD: Yeah. I've cried. I've cried. Live music. I cried at the. I cried at the Lion King. As soon as the animal. As soon as the music started and the big animal puppets started to make their way through the audience. I hope I'm not ruining this for you.

[13:40] ALISON HOPKINS: No.

[13:41] BRENDA FORD: But as soon as they started to make their way, I just burst into tears. It was overwhelmingly beautiful. Back to Justin crying at in the heights.

[13:53] ALISON HOPKINS: I'm sitting here and I'm like, I don't know what to do about this. Like, I don't know you well enough to just be like, you good. So I sit here and I'm like, all right, I'm just gonna pretend it's not happening. I'm happy that this person is comfortable enough in their masculinity to just sit here, like, openly crying in a movie theater. Cool. Love you, Palmer. We're gonna get through this. And then we went out for pizza afterwards. Cause we needed to eat food. And, like, it went okay. And we, like, traded phone numbers because.

[14:33] BRENDA FORD: Because of.

[14:36] ALISON HOPKINS: No, seriously.

[14:38] BRENDA FORD: No, I'm being serious. You had to exchange phone numbers because.

[14:49] ALISON HOPKINS: Like, Justin is new to Atlanta, right? I'm from Atlanta. I know a lot about Atlanta.

[14:54] BRENDA FORD: You do?

[14:55] ALISON HOPKINS: I know a lot about community organizations and stuff. And Justin is looking for a job and he's looking for a sense of community. And I'm like, okay, Palmer can't be your only point of contact because I love the browns, but they're gonna give you a very specific slice of the city and its life. Right. So let me offer you the other knowledge and resources that I have available.

[15:13] BRENDA FORD: So you're very kind that way.

[15:16] ALISON HOPKINS: Oh, well, yeah. And I'm like, if you. You've been living with Palmer, it seems to have been gone, okay. You haven't murdered my friend in the four or five months that you've been living with him. Palmer has not complained to me about you in a negative way, so you must be at least, okay, people. So we started texting or whatever, and I was like, all right, whatever. Just be polite and cordial, because Palmer and I have been friends for more than a decade, and I don't want to have a bad relationship with people that he lives with.

[15:47] BRENDA FORD: So when did you decide that you wanted to maybe go out on a date with him from the time of. In the height, like, how fast?

[15:59] ALISON HOPKINS: It was probably three weeks. Okay, two and a half, three weeks. Because we started talking, and then we started talking a little more, came over for dinner, and then Palmer was like, I have to get back for some online thing I gotta do. And I was like, cool, I'll do it. Like, I got a bunch of dishes. And Justin was like, I'm happy to stick around and help with dishes. I don't have places to be. And I'm like, well, you don't feel unsafe to me. I'm enjoying talking to you now that I could see you. And we're not in a movie theater. Like, I can see that you're cute. So if you want to stick around and help with the dishes, I'll drop you off at the apartment later. Cause I can do that. And so we started talking, and the more time that we spent together and the more conversation that we had, the more I was like, uh oh. Oh, no, I'm developing a crush on Palmer's roommate. And he was like, you're really cute, and I really like you. And I'm like, okay, yes, but I need, like, I need to have a real conversation with my friend because I don't want to put any weird energy in your living space. And he's like, that's fine, that's fair. And I really appreciated the way that he was able to, like, understand, communicate boundaries and entertain himself. Like, one time I was, I had work to finish, and he was like, I'm coming over for dinner. He got off the bus, walked over, and I'm like, I got, like, half an hour more work to do. And he was like, cool. Got himself some water, sat down, and kept himself busy for half an hour and let me finish what I needed to do before he was like, all right, now I have your attention. Now we can do things.

[17:37] BRENDA FORD: And now you're gonna get married.

[17:38] ALISON HOPKINS: Well, you're an adult. This is awesome.

[17:41] BRENDA FORD: Yay.

[17:42] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah. And so he, like, a couple months into this, I had to talk to Palmer and be like, hey, here's the deal, but if you want me to back off, like, this is a line that I'm not gonna cross. He's like, it's fine. We're good. Just keep me in the loop. And then I, we went on a picnic in late September for my birthday, and I got stung or bit by some kind of insect, and I just started having an allergic reaction. And I'm like, it's fine, it's cool. Justin's like, nope, nope. We're getting in the car. We're getting some Benadryl. I'm gonna take you home. And so he met my parents on accident.

[18:19] BRENDA FORD: Hey, that's.

[18:20] ALISON HOPKINS: And he made them dinner, and I fell asleep with Benadryl. And apparently it was fine, and they had a good time, and so he, like, got to meet them and, like, get that vibe check of, like, okay, these are her parents. A lot of things about her make a lot more sense now because I have context for it. And I fast forward to, like, actually, it was February. It was Valentine's day of last year. I was like, I'm gonna make this. This dinner that from this recipe that we're gonna do. And I nearly set their apartment on fire because I poured olive oil in a hot cast iron pan, and I underestimated their electric burners, and it immediately caught fire in, like, flames.

[19:09] BRENDA FORD: So were you not. Were you not dating? Were you not officially dating a year ago?

[19:15] ALISON HOPKINS: We were.

[19:16] BRENDA FORD: Oh, you were? Okay.

[19:17] ALISON HOPKINS: I think we were probably officially dating August of 2021. Okay, so February 2022.

[19:26] BRENDA FORD: Oh, my God. I'm, like, 2020. I'm like, that was a year ago. That was a year ago.

[19:32] ALISON HOPKINS: Oh, my God. So I, like, nearly burned down the apartment. He grabs the fire extinguisher, and then at this point, he found out that his dad was sick. And I was like, this really sucks. I'm sorry you're going through this. He's like, I really want you to meet him. And so he was starting to spend weekends in Florida. And I was like, we'll make it work. We'll find a weekend. I'll get my school stuff in order. And then I almost was like, I can't go to Florida with you. I, like, can't do it. I can't handle it, because I had a huge amount of anxiety, and we hadn't had a chance to sit down and be like, what the fuck am I walking into? And I went down there, and within 24 hours, I got the same sort of vibe check of like, oh, these are your parents.

[20:18] BRENDA FORD: You need these things.

[20:20] ALISON HOPKINS: Cancer.

[20:21] BRENDA FORD: Cancer. Okay.

[20:22] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah. And I had this immediate, real, like, realization of, a, here's the background context of everything that we've talked about, and this is why you feel this way about certain things. And b, this is the other half of my family.

[20:36] BRENDA FORD: Aw. Yeah, okay. Yeah, that's pretty awesome.

[20:41] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah. And I, like, I've heard people in here say, you know, sometimes you just know.

[20:46] BRENDA FORD: Oh, yeah, we hear that.

[20:48] ALISON HOPKINS: We hear it a lot.

[20:48] BRENDA FORD: We hear that quite often.

[20:49] ALISON HOPKINS: Didn't believe it. I mean, I, like, believed it for.

[20:53] BRENDA FORD: Them, but I always felt really, isn't that cool?

[20:56] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah, we've been really skeptical.

[20:58] BRENDA FORD: Pretty amazing love stories in this room.

[21:02] ALISON HOPKINS: But I, you know, I'd never had that sort of feeling. And I hadn't imagined it for myself. And then I'm sitting here, and it just sort of hit me in the face.

[21:12] BRENDA FORD: That's so sweet. It's sweet and sad because I do know that Justin's dad is no longer with us.

[21:20] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah. I mean, we got back from Florida. I sat in here with Daniel, and you recorded, and I like Eddie.

[21:26] BRENDA FORD: Yeah.

[21:26] ALISON HOPKINS: Eddie blew me away, and then. Yeah. And.

[21:36] BRENDA FORD: You'Re okay.

[21:37] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah, yeah, I know.

[21:40] BRENDA FORD: I know. That was really. It was really hard. It's so talking about, like, looking back and appreciating things, it's so awesome that you got to meet Eddie that you immediately. I know you immediately, like, loved him or pretty immediately, you're like, you know, this is my. This is my father. My father in law. And that you got to see him before he. Yeah, before he passed.

[22:12] ALISON HOPKINS: I'm so grateful for the, like, 14 days of father in law time that.

[22:17] BRENDA FORD: I did get because he told you. He told you pretty awesome stories about his life.

[22:23] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah. We sat down and just Eddie and I, like, we talked. He was on the couch for hours. And, like, I got not his whole life story, but I got a pretty. Pretty decent, you know, sort of retrospective in the amount of time that I did get. And that was really, really amazing, and it was an incredible gift. And we went back down there, like, the next month. We had planned to be down earlier in May, and then we both had Covid. So we're like, sorry, we start testing negative. We'll come see you, like we have planned. And so, as I'm starting to recover from the testing negative part, like, I still felt horrible, as, after I was testing negative again, my mom's mom died.

[23:16] BRENDA FORD: Oh, that's right. That's right. Oh, my gosh.

[23:18] ALISON HOPKINS: I forgot about that. Yeah. So we lost her, and then later that. And, like, my mom wasn't able to get there in time. And even if she had, I don't know. But we got a call from his mom.

[23:33] BRENDA FORD: From Justin's mom.

[23:34] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah.

[23:34] BRENDA FORD: Okay.

[23:35] ALISON HOPKINS: Like, it was nanny Ann died on Monday, and we got a call from Linda on Saturday. And I said, justin, I know you said you were gonna go to work today. We're booking plane tickets, and we're going down there. And so we did. And I'm very grateful.

[23:52] BRENDA FORD: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[23:54] ALISON HOPKINS: And, yeah, that's a lot. It was a lot. It was a lot. It was heavy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I mean, other than the better. But, yeah, given circumstances I couldn't control. And I'm grateful for what I did get.

[24:15] BRENDA FORD: Would you say that it brought you and Justin closer together, going through those experiences?

[24:22] ALISON HOPKINS: I think so. I think we learned pretty quickly that we're good at solving problems together.

[24:28] BRENDA FORD: Some people never learn that.

[24:31] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah. Yeah. It's like realizing that we're good at working together to solve problems made me feel a lot more comfortable asking him to marry me. I was still terrified, and I still had a panic attack where I ended up at your house in the middle of the night.

[24:44] BRENDA FORD: You did end up at my house in the middle of the night.

[24:46] ALISON HOPKINS: I was like, what if he says no?

[24:48] BRENDA FORD: You had. Okay, so you mentioned that you recorded. You recorded with Daniel. I was facilitating. So I was at the recording equipment. So you were at the table that we're at now with Daniel, and we didn't know what you were going to say during the conversation you had.

[25:07] ALISON HOPKINS: True. I didn't give you any.

[25:10] BRENDA FORD: I'm such an amateur. So you had been to Florida. You came back, you came into the office, and. And you were like, I want to record. I want to record a conversation. And so we were like, cool, let's go in there. So you sat across, you know, from Daniel and revealed during the conversation that you were going to propose to Justin and that you had ordered, like, engagement rings, his and her engagement rings. And so that happened. It wasn't the same night. It might have been the next night. It was very soon, though. You were freaking out, called me in the middle of the night because everybody has my phone number now. And you ended up at my house at, like, three in the morning, freaking out, saying, what if he says. What if he says no? So we talked you down off that ledge, got you home safely, and then you proposed, but you didn't tell me that you had proposed. I did not know that you had actually gone through with it until after it had happened.

[26:21] ALISON HOPKINS: Mm hmm. Oh, well. And part of the reason is we didn't tell anybody immediately because we had been planning to go back down to see his parents in, like, a week and a half's worth of time. We're like, we're gonna be back in Florida. We'll tell his parents. We'll tell my parents. And then we had Covid. So we didn't get to do that.

[26:37] BRENDA FORD: So there was a gap in the.

[26:40] ALISON HOPKINS: Got stuck in this weird, horrible place where we. He had to tell his parents over the phone, and I had to tell mine, and.

[26:49] BRENDA FORD: Well, I mean, it all turned, and I'm not offended that you didn't tell me, but you freaked out and were so worried, and then you seemed to be okay, and then I found out that because you had.

[27:07] ALISON HOPKINS: But we kept it quiet for a couple weeks.

[27:11] BRENDA FORD: This is Justin from Kipling Primus. How did the proposal go? So how you said you. So how did you.

[27:18] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah.

[27:19] BRENDA FORD: Let's get this down. How did you propose?

[27:21] ALISON HOPKINS: So, we had plans. I, like, got all my friends together, and we went to my favorite dive. Mar indicator. Trackside. Trackside tavern.

[27:31] BRENDA FORD: Trackside tavern.

[27:32] ALISON HOPKINS: It's an Agnes Scott classic. As a standby. It's one of my safe places that I go when I'm in a weird headspace. Like, I've cried at that bar. I've gotten. I'm not. What's the word? I've had really terrible Valentine's days at that bar, and the bartenders made it okay. Like, it's just.

[27:50] BRENDA FORD: That's a good bar.

[27:51] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah. Yeah, they're. They're real good people. And so I got all my friends together, and we sat down, and I, like, talked them through some things that I had, like, gotten straight in my head or whatever. I just was, like, time to sit my friends down and be like, here's where I'm at with life. And so we had a good time, and then Justin and I wound up back in my bedroom at my parents house, and I couldn't keep a secret any longer, so I went in my closet, and I got the ring, and I hit my knee, and I thought, you know, like, might be a surprise, but I think we're, you know, on the same page and headed in the same direction. Will you marry me? And he said yes.

[28:34] BRENDA FORD: I'm glad he did, because that would have been really embarrassing.

[28:38] ALISON HOPKINS: It would have been embarrassing, but I would have survived.

[28:41] BRENDA FORD: Yeah.

[28:42] ALISON HOPKINS: Cause I think what I realized was, like, even if he says no, I couldn't live with myself if I never asked.

[28:48] BRENDA FORD: That's. You all have way when you're talking about, you know, talking with your friends and being on the same. Like, I have never done that in my life. That was not part of my growing up experience. I did not have adult conversations ever, not even with my mother. So I'm just. Mothers are complicated, you know? I suppose I'm probably not a good communicator in those sorts of situations and relationships, because you get. I mean, I'm like, damn, she's having a con. She's having conversations with everybody. I never had conversations with anybody. Yeah.

[29:31] ALISON HOPKINS: I mean, like, I was really excited.

[29:35] BRENDA FORD: Oh, yeah.

[29:37] ALISON HOPKINS: And we hadn't seen each other in a while.

[29:39] BRENDA FORD: I'm trying to think if I saw the. Did I I don't think I saw the rings in person until after you had proposed. I think you showed me online what you had. What you had picked out, because when you sat down with Daniel, you had already ordered. You were like. I think you were declaring to the world, maybe using Daniel and I as, like, your. Your testers, but there was no question. You were like, I have made up my mind. This is happening. And then you showed me the picture of the. Of the rings, and you picked out pretty rings. They are pretty.

[30:22] ALISON HOPKINS: I mean, I kind of was like, if he says yes, I need to have something for him that will last ten years in a hardware store. Cause he's got a job at his hardware.

[30:35] BRENDA FORD: Okay. You're such a. I was talking. We were out there talking about. Talking about your Zodiac sign. You are a Virgo, and you are the. I mean, who thinks of. I need to pick out a ring that will last ten years in a hard way. For someone who works in a hard way. Nobody does that except a Virgo, because you. I've told you before, you have the most, like, planned out, responsible nervous breakdowns that I've ever seen a person have. It's like she is the most organized wreck of a person that I've ever met. And I mean that in the best possible way.

[31:19] ALISON HOPKINS: It feels right. It feels right to say that. Yeah. Because I was like, you know, we haven't even been dating for a full year, so I don't want you to feel like I'm rushing you to the altar, but I'm asking. And here is something to prove that, and here is something that will not get in the way of your. You know, how you spend choices a good chunk of your day.

[31:42] BRENDA FORD: No. Not putting these types of rings down. But the other choice seems to be those. I don't know. Are they rubber? I don't know when they became a trend. I don't even know what to call them. But they're kind of, like, for people who are athletic or outdoorsy. So I guess you don't mess up your good ring. You wear this?

[32:04] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah.

[32:04] BRENDA FORD: What would you. What are those rings called?

[32:07] ALISON HOPKINS: I think they're silicone or something. Yeah, but I was like, those just aren't pretty enough.

[32:13] BRENDA FORD: They're not pretty. Well, I mean, I guess they're. Well, they are functional is the whole point.

[32:17] ALISON HOPKINS: But I needed it to be functional and pretty.

[32:19] BRENDA FORD: And pretty it is. It is pretty because he deserves pretty things, because he's a crier, so.

[32:26] ALISON HOPKINS: Oh, yeah. He's. You know, he's in touch with his emotions. And I appreciate that a lot because there, you know, I've dated men who have not been, and it's not a good time.

[32:37] BRENDA FORD: So. Do you have a date in mind? Like, are you thinking, like, in the ballpark of. Of two years? Three? I mean, have you thought that far ahead?

[32:49] ALISON HOPKINS: It'll be somewhere along the. I think it's a combination of. I do want to finish school.

[32:54] BRENDA FORD: Yes.

[32:55] ALISON HOPKINS: I want to feel a little more secure in that. My, like, professional space. And then I also want to feel a lot more comfortable about pandemic levels, and, you know, I want to be able to think about planning it.

[33:12] BRENDA FORD: Are we still having a pandemic?

[33:15] ALISON HOPKINS: People are still getting sick.

[33:17] BRENDA FORD: Nobody talks. I mean, yeah, it's very much used to be, like, nightly on the. At least on the local news. Here they are. Maybe the national news, too. They'd be like, and this is how many people died of COVID today. And then slowly that tapered off, and now nobody really even talks. Nobody really even talks about it.

[33:36] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah. I still know people that are getting sick.

[33:38] BRENDA FORD: Okay.

[33:39] ALISON HOPKINS: So I'm not trying to rush anything.

[33:42] BRENDA FORD: Yeah.

[33:43] ALISON HOPKINS: But, you know, we'll get there when we get there.

[33:46] BRENDA FORD: I was just asking. I was just asking.

[33:50] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah. But.

[33:52] BRENDA FORD: Well, I'm glad. I'm glad you found. I'm glad you found your person.

[33:57] ALISON HOPKINS: Thank you. I. Yeah. I don't know how to wrap this up. I don't know. I didn't expect to go into this story today.

[34:08] BRENDA FORD: It's totally fine. I'm such a. I'm so bossy, man. Usually I'm like. Because I said. I said I put you on the spot last time, five years ago, and I said that's what I was talking about. I said, you're free to do that to me because I deserve it. And I just. I just totally put it all on you again.

[34:32] ALISON HOPKINS: No worries. Next time, we'll plan more than 20 minutes in advance, and I will actually put you on the spot.

[34:39] BRENDA FORD: I don't. Yeah, you don't need to know. No one needs to know about my life.

[34:47] ALISON HOPKINS: I disagree. But I love you. Thank you for doing this with me.

[34:51] BRENDA FORD: Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad we got. We got. Well, it's Valentine's day, so I think it's appropriate that we talked about a love story and your love story, and I'm very proud of you, and I love you very much, and I wish you and Justin all the best, and I'm glad that I've got to meet him. I think he's a good person, and as long as he loves you and treats you right, then that's all. That's all we can ask for.

[35:17] ALISON HOPKINS: Thank you.

[35:18] BRENDA FORD: You're welcome. I love you. I do love you, too. Justin's last name?

[35:23] ALISON HOPKINS: Justin Torres. Justin Edward Torres. Jet. That's what they call him at work. Cause there's another Justin at work now.

[35:32] BRENDA FORD: Justin's a popular. Justin's a popular name. It's kind of like the michael of, you know. Of what, the seventies? I don't even know. I went to school with a lot of Michaels. A lot of Michaels? A lot of Michelle's and Tracy's.

[35:50] ALISON HOPKINS: Yeah. Well, thank you for doing this.

[35:54] BRENDA FORD: You're welcome.