Cheryl Guinan, Addison Guinan, and Jean Munson

00:00 Corning has started so Jamie can go ahead with your intro. This is Jean Munson age. 33 today is Friday October 2nd 2020. I am located in Las Vegas, Nevada and my relationship to my partner today is she's a colleague of mine.

00:20 Hello, my name is Cheryl guinan. My age is my gosh 38 today is Friday October 2nd 2020. My location is Reno, Nevada. And my relationship it with Gene is I met her through renewal and I am lucky mother of Addison.

00:48 Friday September 22nd 2020

00:55 Amalie Arena

00:59 So, I'm really thankful that I get to see both mother and daughter in this space. I think Addison, you're really Brave being here on the air with us. So I have the fortunate time of spending the summer with your mom in getting to know her through our new leadership program six days for the first time ever. Remote Cheryl. Can you tell me like how who you were before new leadership?

01:26 Before new leadership. I always kind of fulfilled leadership roles, but I would have to say I might not have been as confident as a leader as I am today After experiencing new leadership, Nevada. I I was a mother beforehand. I was a student. I was a Hospital employee for 12 years at our local house here in Reno. I loved my job, but

01:56 I definitely stepped into my own power more After experiencing Newell, and it's been quite an exciting Journey so far you were definitely around the time. We're all like thrusted into remote learning and I want to really cover between both of you being students during remote learning what that looks like and then having to interact with each other with so much Tech in the home. What's that like for both of you?

02:26 It's difficult because one person's trying to get on one thing and then it's just not working for one person. And then yeah.

02:40 I was blessed by the experience of being a full-time online student beef life hasn't changed. I work at a hospital. So I'm not staying home and in my school didn't change at all but I did experience more difficulty. Not that it was bad. But before I was able to access my teachers quite quickly and a lot more demand for the teachers times and like our tutoring options were filling up a lot faster if a culture get in and but otherwise it wasn't too big of a transition on my end of school right and having me as a teacher that go to send your eyes say, so tell me what why with the eyes Addison as your mom is a teacher

03:39 It was difficult because we were learning one thing and then I was off we're supposed to do this and then she's running animation different in her mouth was talk videos on what to do now and I'm like, I would never make it so, you know, you're so now I'm seeing that your mom is union leader and also on top of that your homeschool teacher and on top of that being a front line worker. How do you manage with that part now?

04:18 Before the pandemic I was very task-oriented. I was very timely I like if I wasn't there 10 minutes early. I was late and this transition everybody in the world is dealing with different complications and how things are working. It just seems like there's a delay to any start time. So I've learned to have more grace and honestly,

04:50 Different things are more important. Now, I'm not so focused on the fact that I was late. I'm more focused on the fact that I made it there safely one is taking a moment to breathe and we're going to get through this. So definitely a lot more grace. Now, we have really enjoyed cancellations of people and I think Addison can testify that we're a go go go family. So the pandemic kind of had some blessings for us wonderful Addison to like to see your mom come home and go to work every day in the middle of this. I do worry with her being a front line worker. I wear a little bit because I'm not so sure of like what may happen just like that, but I'm also really like proud of her it takes a lot to just do that.

05:50 Yeah, so with with all of you notice new community that your mom is introduced in the summer. If you need new leadership, she really employed all her connections with your kindness project. Can you tell me about your summer kindness projects that you did?

06:10 It was like she helped a lot because I shoot you and Amy were really helpful like telling me how to like.

06:21 Lake Erie has a standing like what to do instead of just saying some of the time.

06:32 Did you enjoy seeing your mom mobilize all the social media to get you where you needed to go and support made you feel?

06:49 It made me feel like happy because I I know she'll always like help me with something if I need it always have my like back if I need something like spread so, you know you if you've been talking about kindness kindness a lot and now that you know, the contest is over and what not. What do you think you gained most from that and why I kind of assumed important in 2020 with endemic

07:26 Looks kind of sandpaper and honey. So important because I were all like going crazy right now trying to figure stuff out. It's it's amazing that you know, both of you are just trying your best to the leaders remotely and whatnot. So now that you see your classmates last you think you have more an opportunity to be a meteor or or not. What does it look like for both of you?

07:57 I'm getting the night. I think he's leading me to go first.

08:08 My

08:11 I had to perform more as a leader now in regards to how I respond to a situation said there's a sample for people who might be unsure how they're going to respond to you in for example at work if I'm scared or overreacting to the smallest thing my patient build that beer in themselves and start to over-react. But if I keep my cool on my comment just provide the evidence or the information that will help them in that moment. I think it will lead to Better Health Care. I feel like at home being honest with my daughter. She asked me. Did you have a scary situation today? If I say while I was nervous during this event, but this is how we resolved it and I'm okay now or sometimes it's

09:01 Saying hey, I'm just not even going to take all my clothes off in the garage and not bringing me into the house. It was difficult at first because the pandemic there's so much that was unknown and being a single mother. I didn't I don't want to pass anything not to my daughter, but also my caregiver was my grandmother whose elderly so I had that extra fear that she would what I would give him my daughter she would take to my grandma and I didn't want that responsibility of getting my grandma sick. So I push my daughter away for a little bit in the beginning of March to push their child away, especially when they need reassurance when things are scary it like I'd even like push her out of the car and say go see Grandma.

10:01 30 days at least 30 days for sure before I could get close to sleep to open the window and then why I even like stuffed into her house.

10:12 So that was hard my grandma my grandma raised me. So.

10:16 Oh, wow, that's like three four generations of women with women like it in the family and the closeness it's there and you really bring up a really great point about touch right like the hugging and like, you know being affectionate and not being able to do that because you given so much time to work and whatnot. So Addison to grounding out that point about leadership. Do you think that you have opportunities to be a leader online? I'm to your peers like watching her videos in like 10 listening like this from this person.

11:07 Yeah Addison, it is kind of a dream for a mom to have a kid who can be a sponge with the kind of values that are being absorbed and that it's not fake at. All right with Cheryl does at home is something that you actually enjoy and hope to embody. So overall for Cheryl. What's it like to be Addison's mom?

11:31 Ultimately, I think she's like screaming.

11:44 Kind she is welcoming to just about everybody I've ever seen her come in contact with she shy but she's really stepping into Russia is as a young lady was extremely proud to watch her step up for the kindness challenge that she participated in and to see her be a finalist in that and samples of how she could teach different kids to be kind and I got to oversee her teacher share that with her classmates and and that she had from the feedback from her classmates made her stronger and her own conviction. And also I think inspired a couple kids they said they were going to try it next year right now. That's huge. That's where you really win Addison, you know the impact.

12:43 And last night in the title, and then she's like I'm always trying to raise her to be comfortable in situations that I didn't feel comfortable with as far as like political things and talking about difficult conversations domestic abuse raise, and she

13:05 She's very strong and independent and as a mother that can be very difficult raising her that way so I just know that it's going to benefit her as she gets older but high school years and I don't think she's going to have trouble with your pressure right before Addison answers what it's like to be as a mom that you're like, I think that you raised a really good point about having the terminology about domestic violence and assault and whatnot at a gauge that she's at Because by the time she is a teen she will be able to articulate this fully if things do occur to peers or you know, or if she's witness to it. So that is a hefty and beautiful gift. Your mom has given you Addison. So what's it like as Cheryl's your mom?

13:54 It's really great because I've been learning off of her how to be a leader and how to be like kind and like even if I like go like even if I like go down like one to always tell me to like keep trying and I keep working hard that makes me really proud to be her daughter cuz she is so how she's chick Addison. It's okay and then I may just take a break and I'm taking a break, but I don't

14:44 Mom knows he really well. We all try to play tricks on our mom's, you know, I to my mom as an adult. Wow, you know that I always refer back to this the kindness project because I think you taught a lot of the people on your mom's Network as adults what kindness means because we're forgetting to and 28 honey. I don't hurt somebody with you know, still doing their jobs remotely the election, you know, just everything every other issue flying the world and to hear kids say like there's still room to be human to humans is huge. So what are the two of you looking forward to as you know, 2020 is coming in to an end in the next few months.

15:31 I am looking to I'm looking forward to the end of school like my name. It's been two and a half years old full time school full-time work or prime parent.

15:50 And we're going to sleep celebration is free to just really like didn't like.

16:07 Learning more and more in school like we're learning history right now. Just learn more about like Alexander Hamilton and George Washington and I'm really looking forward to that Tony. Yeah, let's go back to talking about Grandma in this pandemic. The two of you are taking huge precautions what you know, I heard from Cheryl what she's doing. What are you doing to take care of grandma as well if he cares for you Addison?

16:39 I'm really trying to like make sure like she's not too worried about like that way. She can like relax and just

16:50 Lake

16:52 Eat Lake just breathe and stuff like that. Right? That's so grown-up of you. You know, usually we think it's the older people take care of us, but not you and so one of your mom earlier this year you or earlier this week you were able to be outside in the beautiful weather. What were you guys doing?

17:14 Girls on the Run wear during my Girls on the Run thing. It was Girls on the Run Lake and how to be a leader and you're enjoying that program in being social and still developing these leadership skills.

17:36 And so you're now you have I believe you did a mentoring girls in the Run. What's it like to now have a mentor cuz your mom had access to that during the summer Now you kind of have your own thing going on here. Yeah, it's really great because they are just there like

17:58 Bright, how did they make you feel how didn't have your coaches pump you up? It's always like

18:06 They always make me feel like there's like some day. I'm like feeling kind of sad always feel like

18:20 Enerstar power that I mean, I think a lot of us forget that we have that so great to have adults that Foster it you two like I was just spending the whole year Watching Gilmore Girls and Boys. Like I've always liked had this romanticize idea of single mom and daughter in the TV or the real deal in terms of like your relationship and your closeness. So when I was talking about the end of 2020 and what not Addison, do you have plans after Mom graduates and winter break that you're looking forward to I'm looking forward to everything when she's done with school, but like

19:04 I'm really looking forward to asking her like what like she has like learned and like computer and like to give her a whole bunch of like congratulations and stuff like that.

19:18 That is awesome. Yes, that's authentic. You know, I'm sometimes he knows a huge shift in time commitments that parents make and kind of makes his grumpy like they have less time and you turn a huge adjustment of accepting that your mom has aspirations in her life, even as a compass you was re-entering college and whatnot. So you two are a huge part of like your mom support system. So I wanted to ask you know in in 2021 as we think about a more helpful year. What are you hoping for in 2021? I am hoping for travel and just kind of escaping our house and giving us some Freedom while we motivate each other and daughter and we still have our the government's and our forest.

20:18 Especially being so close together. So I think it will be good and healthy for us to explore again and what we've been confined to an our little network of work and school and Grandma's house recently now when you're home because I always I guess I just imagined like you guys just work and then rest, you know, like remote work go to work and then it's cool. And so what time you guys try to drum up as mom and daughter at home?

20:58 We try to like get movies in like every 2 days at least a week so that way we can still like spending time together without it being like okay you need to do on this you need to go out of it.

21:14 And I think your mom let you camp inside the house or build certain things. What were you able to get to do that? You would normally do for a pandemic 20/20 building wise I think you build a desk to like a makeshift. Yeah. That was for my girl. It was like virtual Camp. So I like my little tiny town to set up my living room.

21:46 But it wasn't.

21:50 In re how long is that?

21:52 210

21:54 It was a about probably like three weeks because I left it up like one more week or so the fact that you had up for 3 weeks says a lot about you know, your mom stations with it. If bombs dropped Erin, when was the decision to finally take it down whose decision but got to be

22:34 Forever Girl Scout tent or you did it by yourself. She wanted she was there to like kind of guide me through what was going on, but I was the one like building it putting it together.

22:57 But she was there that like to help me. It's like I couldn't read the directions clearly. She helped me normally as a parent you don't go to Girl Scout camp and sent it as if she was away at camp. I like it soon as I came home from work. I was like, okay you're at camp and I would go lock myself in the bedroom and do homework and she wouldn't log online and she would sing her camp songs with the groups and do their projects and I got to be unofficial campmate. So I would take her outside to go look at the stars. So I got to experience a little bit of a world that for the last three years. I haven't seen and only heard about how do you spell the kind of unique a different blessing that we received out of a virtual boy scout camp, but I enjoyed it.

23:57 Addison to have some sort of Independence and I think Addison didn't you do that for Mom to going to new leadership? We didn't ever really see your head pop in or out while you were with us for the week share unless I unless Addison was probably under the desk or something and the timing worked out where ever I was able to have her at Grandma's but definitely curious and like that last day that's why I wanted to ask if it would be okay if she join the space with us because I thought it with her curiosity. It would be a valuable experience and also in her around female nurse and that she can be one.

24:49 I think that's what I really liked. Most about you Cheryl was like you to come into the space kind of unapologetically a mom. You know, you you're like my daughter is in my life. And can she have space to be hearing to be seeing. You know, there is a lot of cases now with people working remotely home and there's mandates of like no you can't have you can have the kid on the camera and you know, so for you to not suppress that she is this living human with with now the access to see how hard you work out inspirational you can be like I I hope that other moms, you know, take ownership of that too.

25:30 Yes, it definitely inside my head. I kind of went back and forth about it to be honest, cuz I wanted to be respectful of everybody else this time too, and I can't always guarantee that my doctor will not be doing like the movable floating head in the background, but she and she was genuinely interested and I just wanted to home in on that and I do think especially giving this new kind of work environment that many people are experiencing. We have to look at not only mothers as well. There's lots of fathers dealing with children at home and trying to educate on their 15-minute virtual break, but we need to get creative and welcomed a healthy parenting work environment and the ways that we can find find a way to do that is

26:30 I actually asking questions and sharing a feeling. What other people need I'm finding that neutral area and compromise with it.

26:40 Write my opinion. What kind of for Addison what kind of advice can you give kids who come from single-parent homes?

26:52 Just like if they tell you to do it because they can go into a harder time then like they ask you to take the trash out just do it because maybe they're going through a tough time right now.

27:11 Wow.

27:13 That's so grown-up of you to see past like, you know, mom's stress or distress or whatever. She's putting out in the surface in terms of strength and just being like okay. I hate I hear your Vibe. I respected. I'm not going to ask the fist. That's huge. That's cute. I can't believe you you are aware or somewhere that way whenever you sure look kind of advice. Can you give for kids who come from single-parent homes?

27:47 I think that has to be a lot of communication Addison's father is involved as far as he's actively called her consistently but giving different circumstances in his life. He cannot always be present. I think that causes a lot of confusion and a child's mind where they if they actually feel valued. They understand the situation sometimes I think Addison split some self-blame a little bit do realize that it's not your fault is the kid is complicated and messy and as a parent you have to kind of stop in like it makes perfect sense to us in our worldly. Just get over it or they don't understand.

28:46 I'm kind of in their language what's going on and then step away and then come back a little bit later so they can process and say hey, do you have any questions like I will often ask her a little bit after a phone conversation. What's going on? Are you? Okay? Do you want to talk and she'll say yes and sometimes she'll say no and that she is not elements for me to get information from and about the other side and respect the relationship but sometimes difficult, but also I think very important for a healthy relationship with her to have with her father and then for her and I to have and realize that in our situation we have to be separate entities unique in our situation.

29:43 Yeah, well, I just have gathered so much like depth between the two of you and your closeness. I'm just mind my mind loan because you guys really do watch out for each other in a very loving way. So Addison, this is one of my last question for you. What kind of Legacy as is your mother leaving you in case you ever become a mother in charge of something. What kind of Legacy do you think? She's leaving? You definitely how to be a leader how to like tell your kids. Are we? Okay. It's like anything happens.

30:23 And like how to be stronger and like learn and just be kind and all that amazing stuff just

30:34 Yeah.

30:37 And for you Cheryl would like the last question is like what are you hoping to leave Addison fully in the whole person that you are the wonderful person that you are. I just want to leave her.

30:53 Knowing that there there's always a chance to choose your perspective of the situation. One of the examples that we had is during this pandemic. We lost my my grandfather her great-grandfather. He passed away and we're in Italy we weren't able to communicate with him. Like we normally what I didn't get that like last face-to-face conversation before he went into surgery and then came out he was in like one of those skilled nursing facilities where you couldn't get close. So call them on the phone. We're at that point. He wasn't able to hold a conversation or we could put on a bunny costume and we could go outside his window and jump up and down and try to make him smile and then say hey he's got neighbors or we're just going to hop around the whole entire building like the bunny and dance and I want her to see that.

31:49 A sad perspective you can control the feelings. You can feel the feelings and you can present it in a way that you can handle and if she can learn that with anything from Death to school work or Fiction with me like she can pass that down to anybody to

32:09 I mean you Cheryl you are a manifestor and act like actual intangible joy and I see that so much of in Addison and it gives me know whenever I'm thinking it's the Apocalypse of 20 money. I see your relationship and I see Addison's response in the world. And I know that their parents out there like you who are going to make sure we do have Bright Futures despite all the odds were experiencing to thank you for sharing this face with me. Thank you for being with us to Jean. It's been a awesome experience to meet you and you definitely motivate. I Know Myself and I know how to send follows you on Instagram to so there's probably some more motivation going on down there and we really enjoy that this world is kind of brought us into the same Circle.

32:58 Yes, me, too. Thanks Addison. Thank you.

33:04 Cool

33:07 Awesome