Christiana Pell and Lewis Pell

[00:02] CHRISTIANA PELL: My name is Christiana Pell. Today is March 27, 2023. We're in Taos, New Mexico, and my interview partner is Lewis Pell, who is my husband.

[00:18] LEWIS PELL: My name is Lewis Pell, age 87. Debate to date is March 27, 2023, located in Taos, New Mexico. My partners, Chris Pell, my wife, Christiana Let's hear about your early life.

[00:41] CHRISTIANA PELL: Okay. I was conceived in Rome.

[00:45] LEWIS PELL: Wow.

[00:46] CHRISTIANA PELL: Born in northeast Germany during World War Two. When I was two, my mother jumped from a third floor window with me in her arms to escape rape and torture. In her broken state, she was molested by several russian soldiers and died after three weeks.

[01:06] LEWIS PELL: That's terrible.

[01:08] CHRISTIANA PELL: Yes. My grandmother fled our burnt, bombed city, Dantzig, with me in her arms, making it through the Berlin bombing to my aunt's little farm. During the journey, we lived on two potatoes a day that had been hidden under the bed.

[01:29] LEWIS PELL: Amazing. And what was it like at your aunt's?

[01:34] CHRISTIANA PELL: Under the russian occupation? The rations were lard, cold cuts, and molasses. I loved the white bunnies, which I took care of but had to eat them. The geese pecked my butt. I didn't mind eating them.

[01:52] LEWIS PELL: Right.

[01:54] CHRISTIANA PELL: Life was basic and good. Lots of outdoor play with a wood scooter and my hoop. To bathe, I sat in a big pot next to the wood stove. We'd walk to wheat fields, then make yummy bread. There was always the fear of russian soldiers. Aged five and a half, a cousin took me to a big black iron steam train bound for north Italy to live with my little hunchbacked grandmother. Dressed in black. I feared she was a witch.

[02:32] LEWIS PELL: Hmm. What did you two do together?

[02:37] CHRISTIANA PELL: Oh, we had fun. I liked her. She taught me italian. Each morning, we walked to mass, and before bed, we drink a little cherry liqueur and wind up the music box with the Madonna on top. Meanwhile, my papa, which is what I called him then an italian inspections officer, was stationed in North Africa. He told me they often had no bullets, but they always looked good. He was sent to America as a prisoner of war. The Italians were treated well and released. He moved to New York City and sent dolls and jello to Italy for me. My grandmother thought the jell O was medicine, so we drink it.

[03:33] LEWIS PELL: Mmm. Yummy medicine.

[03:34] CHRISTIANA PELL: I choose a different color each day. It was yummy. Springtime. Age six, I was moved to a beautiful villa on the northern italian riviera overlooking the sea, with fountains, statues, and the fragrance of orange blossoms. My favorite fragrance. Fragrance. By age six, my passport was ready. I didn't want to leave Italy. Someone put me on a ship bound for New York and snuck out while I slept. I woke up out at sea. An italian girl, her dog and I had fun running around the boat. There were the wild Atlantic storms, when I'd see all ocean, then all sky.

[04:32] LEWIS PELL: And you landed in Brooklyn?

[04:35] CHRISTIANA PELL: Yes. There in the dock stood my northern italian, handsome father, smiling. We'd never seen each other. He'd gone to war after their honeymoon.

[04:49] LEWIS PELL: How did you feel then?

[04:52] CHRISTIANA PELL: Oh, I felt so shy. Didn't speak. Next day, he purposely mispronounced my name. I spoke Michiamo Christiana. I lived with my father and stepmother in Manhattan.

[05:09] LEWIS PELL: Manhattan? Where in Manhattan?

[05:11] CHRISTIANA PELL: 93Rd street.

[05:13] LEWIS PELL: Hmm. East or west?

[05:15] CHRISTIANA PELL: East.

[05:16] LEWIS PELL: East 93rd. Between which blocks?

[05:19] CHRISTIANA PELL: Between Lexington and third.

[05:22] LEWIS PELL: My God, that's amazing. I had lived there right across the street and left at age six. And you moved there at six?

[05:33] CHRISTIANA PELL: It sure is amazing. In all of New York.

[05:36] LEWIS PELL: And what was it like for you there?

[05:40] CHRISTIANA PELL: I had fun with my father. Snow play in Central park at night. Ice skating at Rockefeller center. And I even skated with Santa Claus at Christmas time.

[05:51] LEWIS PELL: Wow.

[05:52] CHRISTIANA PELL: And seeing the movie Cinderella seven times. I thought that when you go to a movie, that's what you see. My father tired of Cinderella, so he took me to Frankenstein.

[06:08] LEWIS PELL: Oh, my God.

[06:08] CHRISTIANA PELL: I ran out often. He had to work overtime at the bank. And the stepmother would leave dinner on the table and go out. I had no appetite, so threw milk out the window into an alley and food into wastebaskets outside apartment doors. After school, I'd clean my five story building steps. I knew no English, so I had no friends. After dark, I'd panic and run down in my pajamas to see if anyone was coming home. I'd listen to my father's italian opera aria's record, and I always chose the saddest song, lontano, which means far away, so I could feel someone understood and be released from panic.

[07:07] LEWIS PELL: He divorced her, didn't he?

[07:09] CHRISTIANA PELL: Yes. And put me in an orphanage where I felt lost. I felt like a ghost, really. Had no appetite and got skinny. After a few months, he took me out of there.

[07:22] LEWIS PELL: So many changes.

[07:24] CHRISTIANA PELL: Yes, so many. He then put me with three different southern italian families in the suburbs of New York. The first, there were three crippled boys. At age seven, I took care of Frankie, the youngest, in traction. They asked to adopt me. My father said no and put me with another family that wanted to adopt me. And then another where I lived three years. Jean, the best mother, would cry if I didn't cry. When I got hurt, she would lament Christiana, why don't you cry? My father had told me, be good or they won't want you to stay. Those were happy years with close friends. But then I had to go. My father remarried and I moved in with them at age eleven. She was very strict, didn't allow time with just him, ever. So I loved music, friends, snow and the beach.

[08:45] LEWIS PELL: The beach. Now, tell us about Roger.

[08:51] CHRISTIANA PELL: Oh, yes. Roger. From ages 16 through 21. We were deeply in love. We could date once a week, dreamy boat and water skiing days to a deserted island near New York City. We were so happy together and pined for each other the rest of the time. I saved myself for our wedding night.

[09:15] LEWIS PELL: Good for you.

[09:17] CHRISTIANA PELL: He was a great artist designer bound for glory. I never stopped loving him, but I had to go. There was a need in me I hadn't anticipated. Leaving him broke my heart. He came with a knife to kill himself in front of me.

[09:36] LEWIS PELL: I don't believe it.

[09:38] CHRISTIANA PELL: I phoned his father, who came for him last month after 58 years. He called. I was stunned and thrilled. We talked three happy hours by phone on Sundays. He understands. Deep friendship continues. The circle is unbroken.

[10:03] LEWIS PELL: That's wonderful.

[10:05] CHRISTIANA PELL: It is. Barbara had come into my life, and she was the need I hadn't anticipated. I couldn't leave her. We lived together in Greenwich Village. Three happy years, ages 22 through 24. Again, I had to go. Having been drawn to men again, my early years caught up with me. The extreme insecurity and a nervous breakdown followed. I couldn't hear my voice nor feel the wall. Almost didn't make it. Felt desperate, yet stayed with my feelings. No meds, no seeking distractions. No tv, which I've never had. I worked as a private duty nurse those years to pay the rent. My good therapist and gay male friends, who were my brothers, felt like my brothers helped pull me through. After two years of extreme suffering, I began to recover.

[11:13] LEWIS PELL: Then along came Lewis A snowy night in February 1969, New York City. We were seated in a circle of others to do alternative group therapy. I saw her and noticed her loveliness, those blue eyes. The moment she spoke with a soft voice, Cupid shot a dart to my heart. That snowy night. We ended up driving in Chris's vw bug to her enchanting Greenwich Village apartment.

[11:54] CHRISTIANA PELL: Lewis moved in. I think we were soul mates, don't you?

[11:58] LEWIS PELL: I sure do.

[12:01] CHRISTIANA PELL: One day he came home with a piece of my favorite cake, maple walnut, and said, open your mouth. You're in a wedding. For some reason. We went to Times Square that night, which we never did. Walking by a movie theater, he declared, I'm in that movie. We got in free. He was the handsome rescuer. What a surprise.

[12:27] LEWIS PELL: It sure was. On our wedding night, weeks later, in 1970, we drove to wintry Maine in the bug with no heat and our love to keep us warm. Keys to a friend's house had be picked up from a local farmer, JP, whose sign read cow deliveries and marriages. I said, hmm, we could use him.

[12:55] CHRISTIANA PELL: But we don't have any cows.

[12:58] LEWIS PELL: Remaining silent, I stopped by a lovely river, frozen solid, where we skated by glistening snowy pines, enchanted by the beauty of it and of her, I popped the question. Two days later, in the farmer's living room, we shared vows, read from his large old family bible. The next week, at a celebration, I quoted Macbeth. If it were done, twere best. Twere done quickly. That was 53 years ago, and we're.

[13:35] CHRISTIANA PELL: Still soul mates, don't you think?

[13:38] LEWIS PELL: I don't think. I know.

[13:41] CHRISTIANA PELL: There were joyful Berkeley days and years at seminary for Louis's future ministry, followed by rural Sierra foothills, forming with our beloved two sons, Selim, a sweet, courageous, very special needs of body and mind adoption from India, and Jason Steller, person and very fine violinist. There were the endearing goats, sweet dog, laddie, close friends living on our land, the orchard and large vegetable garden. Then there were the unplanned events, the New York City blackouthenne. While I worked on intensive care, 30 intensive care patients, two of us rns in the dark and all respirators stopped.

[14:38] LEWIS PELL: Unbelievable.

[14:39] CHRISTIANA PELL: Help came running, and finally we hooked up to the or generator.

[14:44] LEWIS PELL: Phew. Chris, do you remember during that drama what I was doing?

[14:50] CHRISTIANA PELL: Oh, yes, do tell it.

[14:53] LEWIS PELL: Oh. I was riding through the darkened city on my motorcycle, giving rides to stranded New Yorkers to their destinations.

[15:02] CHRISTIANA PELL: What a helpful thing to do.

[15:05] LEWIS PELL: What a fun thing to do.

[15:08] CHRISTIANA PELL: Yes, you were good at having fun. Then there was 911. We were nearby and saw it walking with thousands in a smoky trance. We arrived at the ferry near where the towering towers had stood, shining in the sun. Now only the dark night smoke and the Statue of Liberty, a beacon of hope for so many who had landed on our shores. I gave foot reflexology to the morgue workers.

[15:44] LEWIS PELL: Good thing to do. And we both worked for FEMA, offering 20 minutes street counseling to anyone for several weeks. Oh, Christiana tell about your special session.

[15:59] CHRISTIANA PELL: Yes. I walked up to a man, introduced myself, showed my fEMA tag, and asked if he needed to talk. He screamed, see that man selling pictures? The only good Arab is a dead Arab. He yelled about what they did to his people. He was jewish. I said, you really love your people, don't you? He began crying, saying, yes, I do, and gazing at the arab man. And I love him too.

[16:35] LEWIS PELL: And there was the tsunami. We were there in south India, visiting the ashram of Amishi, the holy mother of India, for Christmas and had planned to swim in the ocean with our indian son.

[16:51] CHRISTIANA PELL: But Lewis got sick and this saved our lives. Along with about 2000 others. We walked in water and were paddled in little dugouts across the backwaters to an unfinished college where we could sleep on the cement floor. Salim and I went up to the roof for the view. We found some straw that was golden. We were able to sleep on straw and cement. We were lucky, but many perished in that village. Lewis do you want to tell about your New York City covenant house pastoral counseling? You were so good at it.

[17:37] LEWIS PELL: Okay. In my 20 years serving at risk, homeless, runaway youth, Chris, in her supportive way, often told others of my talent shows drumming circles nightly share and prayer in the chapel and counselling, praying with and for them. A favorite routine in a group was, yo, bro, Lewis My name. Prayer power's my game. Any minute, any hour. All you gotta do, get in touch with you know who. You know who. G o d. Good, orderly direction. That's the connection. You put your life in order, you can swim in happy waters. I had picked up rap from them. This could lead to my asking what ways they were using the COVID to put their life in order.

[18:30] CHRISTIANA PELL: You did a great job there. Six years ago, we were about to live in an italian town for a year near where I would have grown up. To regain my italian citizenship, Lewis sent a postcard to a friend announcing that Nick wanted to answer. Addressing it with my italian last name, he checked the Internet for spelling. Up pops a photo of me, age five, braids, bow and hair, and the words, does anyone know the whereabouts of Christiana Giacomaso?

[19:13] LEWIS PELL: Gives me chicken skin by a postcard.

[19:17] CHRISTIANA PELL: And Claus, my second cousin in Hamburg, who had posted the search my family found me after 67 years of wondering.

[19:29] LEWIS PELL: Lewis Lewis wrote, how thinned the threads on which the mighty puppets of destiny dance.

[19:41] CHRISTIANA PELL: I'm told my first cousin, who was there at my birth daily wondered, where is Christiana? So my intention for this sharing, this storytelling is to inspire hope under any circumstances. Nature, music, good people, the spiritual path, healthy living and never dissociating helped me survive the most impossible, the passing of both our sons. All that happened has helped me be open with understanding. No one is a stranger to me, nor am I a stranger to myself.

[20:33] LEWIS PELL: Chris, I'm curious in all of this, what have you learned?

[20:39] CHRISTIANA PELL: I think I've learned from this story sharing process that we often have so little control over what happens. And yet not all, but many can build a framework to endure and even thrive by being drawn to people, places, ideas, music that can inspire and promote a sense of well being.

[21:12] LEWIS PELL: That's really good. Several years ago we purchased a lovely little one room all bamboo cottage between jungle and ocean on Hawaii's big Island. Christiana with my help pickaxing in the lava, planted over 100 tropical beauties, I wrote a kind of hawaiian sweet hawaiian song tending her garden in such a delicate way each plant her child oh Christiana ehdhdeme doing hula how she swings and sways like the breeze in a palm tree Christiana eh. To all who have listened to this, we send from our hearts a warm aloha.