Christopher Nisch and Linda Collins

00:01 And Linda Collins, I'm seventy-four years old. Today's date is October 5th, 2021 and I live here in Fresno. My conversation partner is Chris, and we are in the one small step program.

00:15 Good afternoon. My name is Christopher nisch. I'm 36 years old today is October 5th, 2021. I am in Lemoore California. My conversation partner is Linda and she is my one small step conversation partner.

00:32 And what made you want to do this interview today?

00:37 I wanted to do this interview initially when I was putting down. My thoughts II, my first thought was, I immediately wrote down the word divided and I wanted to do this interview because I thought our country was very divided, but then I kind of went back and focused on the word divided.

01:00 And I came to the conclusion or the realization that being divided is not the problem. Because we're divided many different ways is no, I'm in Lemoore. So we're physically geographically divided. We have upper class middle class, lower caste. So we're divided. Naturally that way we vote for different people in local state and national elections. So naturally we're going to be divided. So divided is not the problem. What I figured out what I wanted to do this interview because of all the anger that we have in the country.

01:44 Towards.

01:46 Anybody that we see on the other side of the political Spectrum. So, initially and long story short, I wanted to do this interview because I thought we were very divided and I wanted to try to bridge that Gap and bring us closer together and do one small step in order to do that. But then again, I realize divided is not really the issue. It's the anger. We have so much anger in this country at other people who we just don't understand. Additionally. I wanted to do this conversation in order to help help myself, be open-minded and be a critical thinker part of being a critical thinkers. Being an open-minded putting yourself in someone else's shoes and understanding a topic or an opinion from a different point of view. So, I wanted to help myself be part of the solution to understand where other people are coming from.

02:42 So I wanted to try to Tamp down on the anger and try to get the anger to go away in this country, cuz we're going to be divided in. That's how we work. That's how democracy works. You don't just Vote for This. Everybody just doesn't vote for the same person doesn't work. So I wanted to just get rid of the anger and help myself be a critical thinker open-minded. See something from somebody else's point of view.

03:10 Linda what made you were going to be today?

03:15 Well similar to what you were saying is that I see a lot of anger and everything, and it for me. I'm not angry. I'm very sad because I can remember being older. I can remember the Nixon. Kennedy debate sand. I can remember all that time when we were divided, but we weren't angry kitty. We became angry a lot of us dead through the Vietnam War and what that did to the country the time. But then we came back together again as a country, even though that almost tore us apart and so we can, I can see us going to park coming back, but we're still one country. And at this point like you said, there's so much anger. It's like what is it going to take to bring us back together? And if it if it's one step, at a time that we take or and if we get enough of us taking this kind of a one-step than maybe we can kind of take care of some of that.

04:15 Do I need to learn how other people think and why they think the way they do, why they are so different in their thoughts, they make

04:29 Okay.

04:32 I can't see his.

04:35 You need to remind me to scroll off of it in the chat.

04:41 Okay, let's see. I need to see you tomorrow.

04:44 Okay, my name is Chris. I am 36 years old married and have two young daughters. I currently live in California, Central Valley, but call Connecticut, my home. Wow, that's a long way away. My wife and I are both active-duty members of the military and as such have lived, many different places. I consider myself a minimalist and generally give you everything through the lens of money for Galaxy is important to me and time how I can use it efficiently. The health of the environment is a topic that weighs on my mind. I would want to be a mentalist minimalist. If I had to move as much time, you would want to carry a lot of stuff with you. I can fully understand that.

05:26 Okay, Linda. I'm going to read your bio outriders out loud as written and I'll see if there's anything in your bio that I'd like to know more about Linda born in Fresno. I lived in both metropolitan areas of the state have been married for fifty years. Have an MBA and had a career in business management and accounting before retiring. We travel a lot in the US usually in our trailer by choice. We had no children by Christian faith is deep and has shaped my life. As has my love of God's creation, my parents. And my husband's parents were from the Midwest coming to California after World War II and married and marriage to find jobs. I volunteer at sammc. Linda. What is Sam see? Okay, okay.

06:15 Prank call with Mennonite disaster services on my husband, retired general contractor and we build houses for people whose homes are destroyed in a disaster and cannot afford. Otherwise to rebuild.

06:43 Linda I said in your bio that by choice you had no children. It's a personal question, but would you mind delving into that a little bit more while we were the first generation that had a choice? That's when I was in my Tina at when I was a teenager when the pill came out and so we had a choice and then, that was number one. And the number to Tom and I are both the oldest of four children and we decided that they were all going to have kids. We just wouldn't have kids and will be the doting, aunt, and uncle which we have me come and we help the kids, get to College, we help whatever they want the nephews and nieces and stuff, but that we've been very happy with that decision. It worked out very well for us. It doesn't work for everybody. And the facts are sisters and brothers are very happy with all their children, press it worked out.

07:35 Linda, I've been in the Navy in the Navy there. Lamar.

07:49 What do you do for them?

07:51 I am a pilot and my wife is in the intelligence community in the Navy.

08:02 You've been lucky then to be put together the same place. Do they try to keep you together. It's a movie around. Also, in the military. They will. The Navy will work hard to make sure that you and your spouse are Co located in the same place. So, if you're just dating that, I don't help you out, but you're married. They work hard to do that. However, that sometimes means your spouse have to take a job that might not be professionally the best job to take because my job, my jobs are obviously, being a pilot is different than the intelligence community in your, in the more we have what we call a master jet base so I can fly all day. She does have a job here, but it's and she is moving up in her professional career, but it's probably not.

08:59 The best place she could have gone, but that's sometimes, that's the sacrifice. We have to make, being married to members in the military. We have to make a sacrifice throughout the course of our careers. The next time we move likely, he will take a great job for her, professional development, and I will have to sacrifice a little bit. So it's kind of given take their. That's exactly what we did because I had a career and every time we moved we took turns we move to LA. It was for my husband when we moved to the San Francisco area. Was for me, if we moved every time we moved, it was one or the other, and we kind of took turns and it worked at work out for us. Worked out great.

09:48 I think one of the biggest things though is commitment. You just have to commit we committed from the get-go and that was it. We're going to work out, whatever issues that were and we did has been wonderful.

10:01 Who have been the most influential people in your life? And what did they teach you?

10:08 I'd say the most. I don't know if I have one single person, if I had to think of anybody. I would have to be my parents, my they they they basically taught me how to volunteer if I could. If I could kind of nail down one thing, my mom volunteers right now, my mom and dad both live in Connecticut and my mom, volunteers for our local women's shelter, and she has for several years, and she's volunteered and several other ways as well and different programs. Over the years, just tons of different ways to volunteer. I remember when I was in college in college, I remember, for the first time learning that my dad.

10:57 Maybe once a week would go to a local elementary school and Mentor. A local elementary school child and I had no clue. He was doing that. You never told me about it and we were just, I don't know, sitting around the dinner table one time and that came up in conversation and I was blown away. I didn't really ask him about it. But I was just it was it was great. It was awesome. That's great to hear. I kind of like just learn from example for my parents. They're the most influential people. They've obviously taught me how to be a responsible, adult amongst a bunch of other people, too. But I kind of followed their lead, they've gotten me mentored me. And I think one of the most important things that I've learned from them, is the importance of volunteering and giving back to the community. And I try to do that and have the time in my wife does too. She's very big in the ball and chain as well. So that's probably the most important thing that I've learned from them, Linda who had the most most influential people been in your life. And what did they teach you?

11:58 Well, first of all, it was my parents just like you, we we grew up in a strong Christian home. And so my Christian faith is from that. And then my husband, my husband's taught me a lot about compassion's. I'm a very goal-oriented focused driven person and he's taught me a lot about the stepping back and thinking about people and buy what they need. And through the stand. He said his Christian also, so we've had a very strong Christian home.

12:29 But those two types of influences have really made me who I am. And I love to volunteer to, I always tell people, you don't retire from something, you retire to something. We knew who we retired. We would be really involved in some kind of a volunteer effort and it was exciting. We're going to we're getting ready to retire. When we finally retired, then yes, we can. Go do all this stuff and it's pain. It's right to do what you want to do. Tell me my love.

13:10 Well, you'll get to retire a lot earlier than we did. I will I will.

13:18 How old are your kids? I have a two-and-a-half-year-old and I have just over a one-year-old March. Wow. Your wife is very tired.

13:39 Okay, could you briefly describe in your own words, your personal political values used to be a I didn't know if I should answer this question. Very broadly or very specifically. So I guess if I don't know, maybe I'll do a mix. I used to be a registered Democrat soon as I can vote, at the age of 18, have a registered Democrat or a stripper party. So I registered Democrat Democratic party and then four five. Six years ago. I change my party affiliation to no party affiliation. So I'm what you would call since being independent.

14:25 I believe the purpose of government is to help its citizenry and to keep us safe. I believe that there is and by extension, I believe that there is a lot of good that government can do. I'm not probably experienced enough to say whether or not I like big government or small government. I probably need a little bit more experience to make that decision, but I believe government can do a lot of good for our country. In terms of social programs, Etc. I believe that local elections and state elections, probably have more of an impact on our daily lives than national elections to

15:13 We get very wrapped up in the national elections and maybe don't focus enough on local elections and state elections. My political values are changing in some areas and stagnant and others. When I say stagnant. I don't mean that in a bad way. So, for example, some things that has been true for me for a while and probably won't change, is I believe in a woman's right to choose whether or not she has an abortion or not one that has changed is when I was 18 or when I was growing up, I believe in the death penalty, but now that I get older, I don't believe, I don't think, I believe in the death penalty anymore for example, so that is an example of something and where my political values

16:13 Online. I do have some things that I guess both of those abortion, the conversation of abortion and death penalty. Those are kind of both may be moral values. I know, they kind of get Blended in with the political values as well. But yeah, I guess I should probably just end it there under, how would you describe in your own words, your personal political values on the Republican? My husband's Democrats. So we get all of the literature. And we find out about all the candidates and how we want to vote by party, but it's been interesting having that kind of a balance in our marriage, but we both do believe that

16:59 We should be hardworking. We should not depend upon the government for anyting that unless you're in. There are situations where yes, I will cause you to need help and see, that's where the church used to do it. The church used to be who helped in the end when I was growing up. That's what we did is someone within our neighborhood or church needed help, we help them. And then about the sixties that all changed at all of a sudden, the governor was stepping in and the church's took their hands off and then that's where the church has made a mistake. I think that you should have kept their hands on them. We wouldn't have all these government program. My last 7 years of my career. I was with the County government. I managed Department of accountant that did all the accounting for all the Human Services Behavioral Health social, Social Services, Public, Health in children.

17:52 And I saw so much waste, so much money that went for nothing. There was nothing to show for it and I could see people needed it. But the money that was here, never got there and the attitudes of government and I don't know. It just really made me want more and more to have government out of social things that they weren't helping me. We're making it worse. And that's from seeing where the money went and where the money was coming from. Knowing that it was our tax money, that was coming into all this stuff. But mainly it when you talked about the moral issues, that's another issue that

18:37 I think the government has gotten involved in some moral issues that it should have stayed out of like abortion for me. I look at it as it's not a woman, right? Because it's not her body is a child. There are two bodies. There's not one. It's a child and that child has rights to do it. I don't, I'm on the other side of that one, and it, and that comes from my religious beliefs knowing God's given life. So that's where, that's where I'm at.

19:17 What do you plan to do after your service? Cuz I know, usually people that are in the service, only stay for like 20 years. So you don't have very many more years. What do you plan to do after that many more years? Good question. Obviously, our family is growing of a third kid doing in March. We are running the rat race right now. Trying to get our kids up, you know, up and feed them are still alive and take them to daycare. So we can both work sometime at 20 years are, you know, I shouldn't put a definite on it because who knows, maybe I'll stay in the Navy for 30 or 40 years, but my plan right now is to get out of 20 and be largely a stay-at-home dad. So my wife can continue on with her career. If I had a choice, I would say the main goal is to be a stay-at-home dad to help take care of the kids.

20:17 I had a choice if I do take a part-time job. I would either like to be a janitor at an elementary school or a bag boy at a grocery store.

20:29 I'm looking forward to being able to turn my brain off and and just relax a little bit. We have a friend who was the General at the

20:38 The National Guard base here in Fresno and he's a pilot and he flew all over and everything. So he retired just recently last year to a year or two ago and he has gone into being a Private Pilot or just kind of on call. So he isn't flying all the time, just periodically and he loves it and he's become very much more active in church. And then in other areas, which he is really enjoying, but he he likes that not having that bureaucracy telling him where to go and what to do, but that is definitely a very wonderful skill to have to be able to fly.

21:25 Okay.

21:28 Pick one question. Chris answer might have been 30 seconds to pick my question.

21:52 Let's see. All right. Questions. You okay. Linda?

22:06 Do you?

22:08 Ever feel troubled by people with the same beliefs as you IE people from your own side of the aisle and how they communicate those beliefs to others.

22:20 Oh, yes. Being conservative. Of course that puts me on the same side of the Isle of the people that will not compromise at this point. And some of the things that they they just like what's going on right now with the the debt limit, the debt ceiling and and the stuff that's going on with the bill that they want to pass, just sitting and holding your hands is not getting the problem solved and the fact they are. They're sitting there saying, you just do, you know, you go off, you do your thing and then we'll just sit him will vote against you as soon as you get your act together, that's not resolving think that's not coming together and doing things. I think that we need another Henry. Clay to come in as the great compromiser and start working people out. And so I get really trouble when they do that. When they just sit on their hands and won't even discuss, they won't even

23:15 Try to work through things. So that's that's the part that really upsets me at this point. Don't believe they should pass the bill or why they shouldn't raise the debt limit. They're just saying. That's it. We're right. You're wrong. And it's sad. Like I said before, I'm very sad that we have these supposedly intelligent people that can't talk to each other.

23:49 Do you ever feel trouble by people with the same beliefs, communicate?

23:59 I can't I'll be I think I'll be making it up. If I said I I did feel trouble by somebody with the same beliefs. I don't think I've run into a scenario where I've had like a personal friend or colleague who had the same beliefs as me and I was frustrated with the way they conveyed their their ideas. I agree with you, wholeheartedly in the frustrated you expressed with like the debt limit and the bills are trying to pass because, you know, you brought up the conservative side of the island that the Democratic, the liberal side of the idols guilty just as much now and we I hate to get gruesome but like, you know,

24:46 Like Revenge killing, you killed my brother. So now I'm going to go kill your, your cousin or whoever and then is Tit for Tat and nobody saw that doesn't solve anything. It is, like the same thing, you know, what time like 10 years ago, you know, like the maybe something happened in Congress and you know, the Democratic side did something and then Republican side didn't like it. So it just turned is got into this Snowball Effect. For each side is just trying to one-up the other side and try to make the other side. Pay by sitting on their hands and folding their hands and not doing anything. So I don't have any like, specific colleagues are friends. That I am frustrated with that have the same values as me. But I share your frustration in terms of like the Democratic party who I kind of

25:46 CA I guess caucus for a little bit more than the conservative side. So I definitely share your frustrations. Yes.

25:54 But I do vote. I have voted in every election since I turned 21 because that's where I think that I have a voice is to my boat.

26:04 You voted in every election up until 2021 up and some have no right to complain because you didn't vote, Bushnell Gore and they're trying to decide Florida by only a few votes. And so, every vote counts. And yes, I agree. If you do any countries in this world, where you can either vote, what your vote doesn't count, cuz it's rigged or you can't vote. And the fact that we get a chance to vote in. This country is great. It's our civic duty and every vote counts. If you don't vote, then I agree with you. I don't think maybe you should have

26:56 You should have it. You know, we shouldn't complain.

26:59 You know, you said you're from Connecticut and now your way. And I've only lived in California. Although I've lived all over California. Just the thing, California.

27:07 I know that from visiting and traveling that it's very different on that side of the the US that is on this side of the US. I had no idea. It was so different until I started really traveling and meeting people and talking about. How do you view as as California?

27:28 Besides weird lights in the nuts. Yeah, not weird on the California was kind of a mystery to me. I've never lived on the west coast. I'm very biased towards the east coast. I love the East Coast, not for any particular reason. I just it's kind of like an us-versus-them thing. I was raised on the east coast and everybody in the west coast was of them and I was like, I don't really like you and again, no reason for it whatsoever other than just us versus them mentality.

28:03 What's the California? If I had to think about California? I would think about Los Angeles, Hollywood, and surfing and Son. One thing. I never thought about was the Central Valley here and how much agriculture is here. If you eat it, we grow it, a surfer States, and Beach and waves in and son. And then again, moving here to that Central Valley, lots of agriculture in a whole different. I just, I guess I didn't realize California has much agriculture as it did. So I never thought about some of the political concerns that maybe California had in terms of like agricultural imports and exports excetera. So I guess I only have good things to think about California. I was never like that stinks. I was just this one is great. I never been there, but

29:03 How much agriculture is out here?

29:06 That's that's one thing as we travel. We always stay safe where you from California and all. They think about San Francisco in LA and then traveled all over California in areas with the Redwoods and stuff. It's a beautiful beautiful state, but we are very divided in our state Euro versus Urban. It's some very difficult living here now, cuz it's changed over the years, and it's difficult.

29:55 Sunny, do you mind if I skip that question or can I go into different question? Yeah, it's kind of like the Nixon Kennedy debate. When was that, was that the 76 like to read history books? Like, especially biographies on all of our founding fathers, like Thomas Jefferson and James Madison and George Washington excetera, even historical figures like Paul Revere excetera. I read those books all the time when we were going through. I don't know. I guess it was when Barack Obama. John McCain were going through their candidacy to be president, you know, and I kind of really maybe a little bit before that to a really kind of discovered how how nasty Pilots

30:55 Can be and they call each other names and and I was just you know, Mesa mainly just name calling and character attacking etcetera. So I kind of woke up around that time to. Wow. This is really like why can't we all just get along here? Then I remember that. I read all those historical books at Thomas Jefferson and John Adams and James Madison and they were pretty nasty too back. Then they called each other names all the time and they attacked each other's character all the time. So when I kind of thought about it that way, I was like, okay, I guess this is a new we've been doing this for a long time, since 1776. We're going to attack a political figures of attack in each other's character. All the time. You mentioned the Nixon Kennedy debate. Since back, then you specifically said, you guys are the country was divided, but not angry. And the one thing I struggle with as in the political climate that we are right now, in United States is

31:52 How does this compare to email, the 60s, or the 70s, and the 80s? Because I first voted in 2018, which I think was in, like, 2000 just before or just after 2000-2003. I think I've ordered my first presidential election. And so I don't have a whole lot of experience to fall back on. So I'm constantly. How, how does how do we compare now to, you know, any other time in history? Because I don't I didn't get to live it. So I don't know. Are we in a good spot or are we not in a good spot? Should I be scared or is this business as usual? And it's cyclic and we'll get through this and then it'll happen again 25 years from now. So, I guess my question to you as a new kind of already hinted that it is I mean nervous, or is this like, is this? We are you not nervous like we done this before? I don't know.

32:47 Well.

32:48 It's it's different in that is not as genteel. I mean things seem to be more civilized back in the like when they have the Nixon Kennedy debate and everything. They weren't at all like the the Trump Biden or anything like that says, nothing like that. It was very much questions asked and answered they stayed within the rules and that was kind of the whole idea. You had rules. We follow them as a society and then we have Vietnam and that just really tore a whole generation of heart. And so many of our peers were killed for no reason at all. And when they came home, they weren't my husband was never recognized for anything. He did in Vietnam and is a vet. And until recently, you know, this last

33:38 What five ten years, they finance that recognizing them. But it was just very, very hard at that point. But you still have the feeling that we you were the same country. You were all one country. You didn't have the government and all your business. If you didn't have me, if you could buy a house without having to have 50 million disclosures and and have all these government reports that you have to have now to buy a house. You just said the government was like here and life was here one. Now. It feels like the government is inside our lives and is running our lives and making us do things. We don't want to do now that it's it is very disquieting and

34:23 It's not getting better. But it's the best. We've got in this world today. When you look outside, if you're going to read anything about history or anything about the Babylonians, the Assyrians, but the Chinese is that came in and all the historical stuff and everything. This is still, the best that has has been and is at this point in time. I'd rather live in America. Can you play self talking to other people in other countries? So it's

34:53 United cry for the innocence of our children because they don't have the Innocence. I had when I grew up that all the stuff that bombards them and all the junk they have in their lives. That is what is going to kill our country, is what it is.

35:10 We're not nice to each other anymore. She just don't and you don't help. They don't help each other. Everything is all about me. So it and then allowing like this Instagram thing, where they said that Instagram is so evil because it's making people want to commit suicide and stuff. Since when do you listen to what's on Instagram said your parents thought I was from a nuclear family. I believe in the nuclear family and I see it. That was the first thing that the end of split up and wants that began to fall apart. It's like a on a downward spiral, but it's still best, we've got. And so you can you brighten the corner where you are.

35:55 Father, mother kids single mother a single father with children. If something's going to be missing, you don't have the nurturer. You don't have the strength. You don't have the two together make a whole that one just can't do it and have that have that.

36:16 Cairns want Billy for children in to raise in that way and that that's that's where the breakdown. I think began when you didn't have the commitment and marriage and you didn't have a commitment to your family, but it's still the best we've got. So we do we do what we can with what we got in here. We are. I don't think it's, I don't think it's an excuse to give up. Do not give we still, we still fight for what we got. I guess I can be, I can imagine it. Maybe it would be putting words in your mouth but maybe frustrating for you to who you knew what it used to be like where somebody like me 36, you know, didn't, I don't know what it used to be like and so I'm voting the way I do or expressing my opinion. The way I do based on only what I know right now and I don't have all the references that you have and I can imagine would be frustrating cuz you kind of just want to grab some

37:16 Hey, it never used to be this Uprising and whatever you want to call it. January 6th, and she was just all the rules, and I said, Mandy unit Luther Vietnam. I remember the protest can't stay all of that stuff. This is nothing compared to what that was and we made it through as a country. You know, it's funny you say that when did another cuz I got I didn't live through it. But I have had mentors or or when I was a kid, my friends parents. I have had people older than me that multiple people said, what does 60s? I think it was a 60, maybe 65 and 70. You tell me about the sixties and seventies. That was bad. That was early seventies. And I was like what?

38:16 These were bad. I don't know what that was. But maybe, maybe we're not doing, you know what I mean. So I guess yeah. Okay, maybe I guess you're right because we were the Boomers in huge numbers. And so we kind of overwhelmed the society because we were just just in sheer numbers and when they were sending us all to be all your, my husband's Vietnam and killing half of them. And then the ones here, we have people going to Canada to get away from the draft and the rest of us are just trying to kind of hold it together here and go to school or work or have a family or whatever. It was very, very difficult time, but we made it through comes in for me because for me,

39:07 I see God is Sovereign, he is in control of the whole thing. So whatever happens is within his will and I knew that when Tom went to Vietnam, if he came back that was within God's Will. And so it, it is just a different way of looking at the world. When I look at America has its issues. Yes, but God, is in the hole. Has the whole world looking at it and we're just part of what he's doing and he says the boundaries he sets everything. So it's that's the way I look at the world.

39:44 Okay, great. Thanks for answering my question.

39:48 Yeah, I'd be glad you're not a pilot in Vietnam. You know what? I told my friends. This it's funny. You mention that because I got home from deployment in this past February. I was on an aircraft carrier and we were doing flights over Afghanistan and Iraq and Syria, and I remember sitting on the flight deck of the aircraft carrier in the jet engines running. We're getting ready to launch off. And I talked to my backseat or I was like, you know, what, if we were in Vietnam, like, in Vietnam, it was like, one day, Jimmy didn't come back for dinner and it was like Jim. He's got two kids and a wife and it's like, I don't think I would do that. I quit. I feel like I'm not doing this like, for what? Like, I don't know everything about Vietnam, but you know, Tuesday, Jimmy didn't come back and on Sunday at Billy didn't come back and it's like, I'm not doing that, like, you could have crazy.

40:40 Yeah, it was very hard cuz it was no.

40:44 There was no reason for us to be there and we weren't trying to win. That was it was just it was very difficult from being at home or being there. It was a very very hard time now. Hopefully we'll make it through whatever we're going through which is why I'm trying to do this one small step, right? Just trying to meet somebody else and in in bridge that Gap and get rid of some of that anger. And, and trying to be again open, my one of my goals is to be open-minded in and one of the things I'm going to impress upon my kids is, you got to put yourself in other people's shoes. You got to think about things from a different perspective. Mainly I want, I'm going to take this time. It's just, you got to put yourself in somebody else's shoes. And that thing that helps get rid of or we'll get rid of the anger that we have towards each other. We just don't understand.

41:44 Fresno, who believes XYZ and it's not appropriate for me to be. Like, I don't like Linda, I need to like understand where he's coming from, except I have an open mind and that's what I hope to impress upon my kids. And I'm trying to do my part and

42:00 Sometimes I feel hopeless right now, to be honest. And the only thing I can think is just to the only thing I can do. I guess just trying to raise two, good humans to be kind to each other. You know, your kids is to teach them unconditional, love that you and your wife love them unconditionally because that is

42:20 That's what you always fall back on even as an adult with my husband that we have unconditional love that. I don't care what happened out there in the world. When I come home, my parents love me as child, and my husband loves me as a wife. And that is, you know, the basis of how you face the world between, and then God loves me unconditionally, which then I'm able to love unconditionally myself. So, it's that's one of the biggest things of my parents taught me. God loves me unconditionally and then they love me. Unconditionally really, really important. Yeah, I think that's a good point. Yeah, it's something then I'll try to teach them. Thanks Linda. Yeah. I have solutely.

43:03 Okay, I can sell him that you have to set boundaries. You have to discipline but you still love them but my two-year-old in timeout, but then we make sure that she understands that were, we still love her and he and I got spanked a lot and my two sisters said they just watch us. And if we didn't know, if we did something get Spanx, they do it and we did some that think they wouldn't, they never got lucky them.

43:51 They were very driven. Where were the analytical focused? Go on. At the other two, the two girls are very artistic.

43:59 And very different and that taught me a lot about how different people are being in a family like that. But just because you're different doesn't mean you're wrong. And my parents loved all four of us unconditionally, even though we were very different.

44:15 Okay. Alright. So we're in the last 5 minutes. I just put a series of questions in the chat. You like to take a look? If any of them speak to you or she got one of your on, those are the same ones we were.

44:33 Sorry, I put the wrong ones in. Ignore those. Thank you.

44:49 How can we come together after pandemic in a divisive election? That's just exactly what we were talking about. How do you come together? Cuz the pandemic has been very hard on on us as far as you isolate being isolated.

45:06 Chance to make you not be as kind and concerned about other people because you are isolated. It is difficult.

45:15 Linda was I who you expected me to be. My boss said, I was 36. What did you expect out of a 36 year old? That was the biggest surprise is because I hadn't read your file before. So I didn't know what's the biggest surprise, but the person that you were going to interview with somebody. I know you like my who's this person? Like, what do they believe? You know, what? You no preconceived notions.

46:01 Who was opening the intelligent and could speak to speak clearly about what they believe and everything because I have talked to her having been a manager of, a lot of people you have people to just not there, you know, and they can't.

46:17 They can't communicate well, and so I really was hoping that I'm glad that I had someone that can talk and can talk about what they believe and as understandable as easy to communicate with getting ready for the interview. I'll see you Friday night. I was kind of getting ready for this Friday night and this could be like a little bit, like I'm not really sure that only lasted like 10 seconds and then I kind of realize, wait a minute, Linda on the other side of the screen. She wants to do the same thing. I'm doing wants to bridge that Gap and have a conversation. So this is going to be good. Like Lynn is going to be hopefully open-minded and she's going to listen to me. We're supposed to both listen to each other and not interrupt. So I kind of was reassured or I calmed down knowing that the person I was going to get on the other side of the screen i e you and Linda was going to be, you know, a nice person to have a conversation with him.

47:17 Turn out to be true. I'm very happy that you volunteered for this and that we got mashed together by our facilitator is probably intelligent and can communicate because I like listening to NPR NPR advertising here by listen to NPR, I mean, as soon as I get in the car, it's on. It's on walk the dog at Saint and I actually have to listen to it too. But sometimes I have to try to tell myself to not listen to her, cuz I don't want to drive her nuts. So, all the the

48:07 The political things, all different deal. They're kind of right in the middle and they're very high on the intelligence level, and the truth level and everything, which is what I like. They're not real or not real liberal. And they tell the truth anymore. Overall, for Walter Cronkite. I really like, Walter, Cronkite, casters them, as my guy was Tom Brokaw. I wish Tom Brokaw didn't retire, but they had the hostages and concoct with up every night how he didn't say anything. He just said, how many days how many days every night he knew how to get across to the American people.

48:55 Thank you, both for that. How is that for you experience the conversation?

49:01 Yeah, it was great. Fantastic. I enjoyed it as well. You're the first to repeat to spend, I've had with us. Oh, yeah, people so I told her she needed that. I'd do it again if she need another conservative person.