Covid-19: Lila Chapman

Recorded May 2, 2020 Archived May 2, 2020 51:38 minutes
0:00 / 0:00
Id: APP2257574

Description

Jackie Neale talks with her student, Lila Chapman about how she is feeling in the time of the Coronavirus global pandemic. Lila is Jackie's ungrad photography student at the New York Film Academy and upon being given the stay-at-home mandate Lila remained in Long Island City, Queens until recently. Lila says "I used to go outside every so often, when I felt comfortable. ...There was just a surprising amount of people outside. I live in Queens County, Long Island City [NYC] and there were just a lot of people who weren't taking it seriously. "

Participants

  • Lila Chapman
  • jackiephoto

Interview By

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Transcript

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00:03 Hi, this is Jackie Neal. I am conducting another interview for documentary series on the Corona Collective. I am fortunate enough to have my students to is part of the corona Collective with me. Hello. Hello. If you wouldn't mind, please tell me your name.

00:25 Lila Chapman, hi, my name is Lila Chapman. Could you please tell me the date today is April 22nd 2020?

00:37 And where are you? I am in Ossining New York in Westchester County and I am in Collingswood, New Jersey. Outside of Philadelphia. May I have your permission to record this interview? Yes, you may have my permission to record the interview.

01:01 Background information currently we're in somewhere around the sixth six and a half weeks of being under a national stay-at-home order, due to a global pandemic of a virus. The covid-19 novels of the novel coronavirus covid-19. It is, shut down and Country after country, and the United States is currently in the throes of it and not to mention that the northeast of the United States has and heaviest of the throat. So I'm a little bit of background information. Is that Lila and I work together at the New York Film Academy in New York City. It was after a very long class that we had returned back to school that we were, then given the order to not come back to classes. And so that was pretty,

01:55 Intense experience. And here we are and we're going to record this interview in reaction to that. I'm so Lila. Can you tell us how we know each other? We know each other through the New York Film Academy. Should I speak in the third person? Like I see. Jackie is my t-shirt or you are my teacher. You are my teacher at the New York Film Academy. That's how we know each other. What do I teach you shooting lab and history of photography?

02:28 Excellent, and I love teaching you or do. You know anyone that has been diagnosed with covid-19? Yes. Actually, I know some people who have been diagnosed. Actually. I know someone who passed away, one of my mom's very good friends, from years ago, passed away a couple of weeks ago, about two weeks ago from the virus. She was about 70, and and she died in Houston. So my mom and her friends were able to attend a wedding. The wedding, the funeral because of the distance, and also, because it's of the virus, and then, my step dad. He's not really my stepdad. He's my mom's boyfriend, but he's like my stepdad, Douglas. He actually visited my mom. And then a week later, or two weeks later. He got diagnosed with the virus.

03:28 And I was especially scary because he's a cancer survivor. He had really bad cancer for years and years. So outside of those two. I don't know anyone else who's had the virus.

03:43 So what kind of cancer did your stepfather? Have it was before they were together, so I'm not totally sure, but I do know that he had to have one of his ears and putative, or removed because of the tumor. Yes. It was very bad. Yes, ma'am. So I'm not sure what kind of I'm not sure what kind of cancer it is, but it was like in his head like, you know, around, so it was pretty scary, like him getting the virus and he's recovered now, but you know, it makes it even more scary.

04:14 And you, okay. So if you were to get us a ballpark figure of how long ago he might have had cancer. How long would it be?

04:25 Say about ten years. Ten, fifteen years ago. I imagine since he visited your mom, and then was diagnosed with your mom afraid and were you afraid? Yes, ma'am. I was, I was very afraid because my mom at actually gotten sick and she didn't tell anybody cuz she was already quarantining and didn't want to. She didn't want to scare me and my brothers. So she got, she did, she never got her so tested for it. She just talked to the quarantine and then make sure that my niece and nephew who live with us. Also, quarantine, cuz even my nephew, he's about to be 16 this year and he, even, he was feeling kind of sick for a couple days and my niece had some to just have issues. So she feels better now and they've just she's just been really strict about quarantine has to be short, but she was never able to get tested. And so she was worried about it because he got it and he had been with them like a week before when he found out so she could have lasted over.

05:26 What were some of the symptoms? Your mom had, you know, she was saying that she had some to just have issues but her biggest complaint with my niece had had to just eventually but her biggest complaint was like a headache. And she said that she was really, really weak for a couple days. And yeah, she was saying like headache and fatigue were really like, or bad for a few days, so you don't have to call me ma'am, Lila. I'm from Georgia, and my parents are in the army. So it's just like a really terrible habit. Like, you know, you can say it, if you would like to, but at the same time, I feel like it seems that. Oh, okay. I'll, I'll keep a note on that. I'll make sure I remember a little bit more familiar. That's all. It's okay. I mean no big problem. Okay, so she had these symptoms. Do you recall what date? That was?

06:30 I would say that was around mid-march when she started feeling sick. I'd say that it was about a week or so, maybe not mid-march, cuz we went under quarantine around the 16th of March and then I think that she got sick. Yeah, it would have been the next week that that Douglas had visited for the movie after that would have been when she wasn't feeling too. Well, so that the reason I ask is because you are doing interviews as well. And your first interview was with your mother. Did you have your interview with your mother while she was sick or before she was sick? And obviously, since you just told us, you didn't know. So, when when did that timing, it would have been after she was sick, it would have. Yeah, it would have been after she'd gotten sick. Yes, ma'am. And by the way, that's why did you know that she was head. Felt bad felt sick. Like, I knew she told me a couple days afterward, like,

07:30 Is there was at that time a lot going on with my family cuz my brother my brother had to quarantine as well is because he would he have been traveling here to being okay, but you know it was so there's already a lot and I think that she didn't want to stress is at war with my brothers and I were like, please just tell us and so I found out so I had I had known that. You had been sick, but she had already told me he'd been after, she would have gotten better.

08:02 And so, how do you feel on the other end of it now like you?

08:08 Are you like? How is this affecting you emotionally? It is tough. Because so, right now, I'm quarantining at my boyfriend's house in Ossining and part of the reason that I'm doing that is a, it's not as bad as pure as it is in the city, but mostly because if I'm not up here, I was just alone. Like all of my family is in the South and I'm not going to school anymore. So I always spending like days at a time just in my apartment by myself. And it was like it was I already have like I have pretty bad anxiety, just like, I really bad anxiety. And and so that was getting worse than I was making rather difficult to like he was bad. It was like making you and even now like I find it difficult to like, focus on my school and stuff and it just I feel like really overwhelmed and all the time and and so, you know, even like I make a list now to keep track of what I do, but it's like now it's getting to a point where I can buy, don't write it down and it's just in my head. I guess. I just feel so much more overwhelmed.

09:08 I usually do pretty good about not getting behind but like, you know, I'm still doing it but I'm a lot more stressed out than I was especially to because I'm so far from my family, but then so many of them are older. So like my own want to go. I interviewed she has heart conditions and diabetes and she's on medication. And my Uncle, George had surgery not too long ago to the doctor and she called and told him his wife. How's it going is indeed a shield associate has. But, you know, the doctor was basically like you're at a really high risk for the virus. You have to. He hasn't even left in days like that. And so I have and, you know, and just last year, one of my, my my aunts to managing my mom's oldest mom's older sister. She passed away from kidney failure. So it was already like, you know, it's like, I love them very much like my grandparents, you know, and it's like and I can't be there with them during this time. And I know that there are at higher risk for the virus and stuff. And so it's just been really like

10:08 I'm I'm worried about them cuz I can't do anything to help you, you know, but it's like and even going home. I'm supposed to go home next month to visit. And even now I'm like, I want to go and see you guys. But at the same time, it's like

10:20 I don't know, you know, I don't know for sure. Are you?

10:30 Is it? I mean, it sounds like you got anxiety coming from all angles. Like, you got all of your, like, I'm just trying to mirror. What I think you're saying, which is like, you not only have like work, they have to do for school. That's piling up. Then you have, you know, this isolation, that's causing anxiety. Then you have the possibility of so many people in your family and getting all that just overwhelming as well. Oh my God. Yes. It's a lot. It's a lot. I thought you were living with your boyfriend. So you're alone. No, like it's been like, you know, at first he was coming back and forth, like on his days off and stuff and then we stopped doing that for a couple days because he works at a nursing home. And that was becoming stressful. So then he came and stuff for his mom's house for a little while.

11:30 When you get there, but they found out at his job that they lied, and said that there was a flu outbreak, and then one of the patients died, and then they told them that actually, it wasn't the flu. It was the coronavirus in one of the Wings. He got really scared and was like, I don't want to be bringing this back and forth, his mom's house. And then we got back together. He saw me coming up there on Monday. So you haven't seen him for a day's, been a minute, cuz you had been crying together, but then we had to stop because of everything and then he did his little quarantine. And then now I just came back up here, wishes as we just started punching each other again.

12:09 Holy crap. So how many days was it between the time that you saw each other? How many days?

12:18 Like between like when we when we didn't hang out. What actually more of the question is. How long were you alone in your apartment for a man? I was alone in my apartment. I remember that time. I was on my apartment for

12:33 Man, I'd say at least two and a half weeks just like it has been a minute because even before he had begun to self, quarantine. He had come up here. Couple days early for work and stuff has been up here. Anyway, then he decided to it at least two and a half weeks. I was just in my apartment by myself. It was terrible and you did you go outside at all. I would. So, I used to go outside every so often when I felt comfortable. So, I would go, I would try to go for like a walk sometimes and then I got even nervous doing that because there were just a surprising number of people outside and I was like, this is insane. Like, I can't release this is because of so many of you guys and you didn't go to the grocery store at the grocery store. It causes problems because they're so small and it's like that, I go to a manatee.

13:33 Going. And I'd have liked my quarantine here in, but there'd be people in there. Like there wasn't a virus going on. And so, you mean in New York City boat in New York city. So, I live in, I live in Queens, County, Long, Island, City. And there are people there. I felt that just weren't taking it very seriously. So, I go for like, a little walk around the block or something, but much further than that would make me nervous, because there are so many people out there, people outside, and I think people got more comfortable with it. And then now it's like a bun and it was just

14:05 Not worth it after a while. Did you ever have a delivery, like, any of the supermarket deliveries? I didn't do the supermarket Supermarket delivery in part because it was so cold. It's supposed to my apartment, but I did get Uber Eats delivered like once or twice and then I stopped it. Why didn't I stopped for a cuz he's expensive? But for me, it was making me nervous as a cat picture of it. The craziest thing happened. I ordered food one day and it like the food came in and its own bag, but then it was in a vacuum-sealed like coronavirus. It was crazy. And I had like a label on it and it was never. It was crazy. Where is it from?

14:52 I think I got food from this place called the

14:57 Gorilla, a gorilla with a K. But it's like a Korean like a Korean food restaurant. Yeah, and I think I got like some sort of some sort of a bun. I don't remember what it was called. What the world, I never seen anything like it before, but other than that I had known, he had food delivered to the house because you know about, it isn't even like the exchange between you and the person we have to pay attention to all of these things at the read, the news, and then it's become so scary and you can't help but feel like

15:44 I mean, I think I don't tell me if you feel the same way and it's like I simultaneously feel like I'm overreacting but then I'm like, if I don't over react to such a potential that I'm going to happen, then it's going to be needed, either has it or carries it, you feel the same? Same way. I feel very worried about slipping up, like, you were saying and giving it to somebody or catching it from somebody the other day. The other day, when I got up to Ossining, I went to 7-Eleven to get some lunch, and I picked up a tuna sub tuna sandwich, thinking, it was chicken salad. And then I brought it home and I was like, oh shit, but I can't eat it. So I think I got food poisoning from it. I did not. I think I got food poisoning from it.

16:44 I would like to see. I was, I was about to go somewhere. We were about to go to do something and I'm relying on the bed and I was like, oh, I feel, I feel bad and I was like, I can just ignore it, and then I got it hurts. It hurts. It was awful. And I remember, I went to the restroom. It was too funny cuz I'm at my boyfriend's house and I use the restroom upstairs right now cuz they're working on the one downstairs. And so his mom is like in the living room. So I like Dash up the stairs to go to the restroom and then I should be like in there, like, minding your business or whatever. And I one point I was so sick. I was literally laying on the floor in the back. I could not move and I didn't want to call him to come help me cuz I didn't want to scare her and I was just like trying to like make decisions for myself in the broken staying at one point. I was like this crazy. I never like I've had food poisoning before but it didn't hurt this bad.

17:41 It was terrible. I remember, I came in there and like I got hot and sweaty and I was like, my stomach was upset and stuff and I just, it was cool. It was horrible. And then I Googled the symptoms and does not sound like the virus and then I Googled it was it was food poisoning instead, but that was poisoned. You were like, oh my God, remember being reported here, so don't go out. It isn't like, I just lost a limb. No big deal. You don't like to do things like that. You know, I walk out the restroom and I I got to taking my shirt off and like his mom is

18:41 I can't even look at her.

18:45 Virus so hot so I can walk out. I couldn't even like make eye contact. I just like my head forward and just like I'm holding my my shirt in my

18:58 Yeah, it was bad.

19:05 But you know, it wasn't my irises. So we're good.

19:10 By the end of this year, going to be really like very close with your boyfriend's family. I would hope so.

19:16 Oh my God, it's very nice that they're letting you come up there and live for a while. I got to collect myself. You read me. Last message. Okay? Okay. How is this is a great time to ask? How has this affected your relationships with your family? Like, with your children partner, you're with your parents. It's a little bit of a mixed bag. So, my mom and I talked a lot more cuz she's bored, and I'm bored and we talk a lot anyway, so, you know, man, this is a big deal. I shouldn't be, but it is. My brothers are might like, I have two brothers and JoJo cuz my sister passed away. So JoJo is like around 40 and Eric is in his mid-thirties there, they live.

20:16 JoJo lives in New Mexico and Eric lives in El Paso City, live real close to the same time and it was like we never talk on the phone and so is he really doesn't, like I've been talking to my siblings more cuz they're like worried about me and stuff cuz I'm alone. And so honestly, I don't want to talk, but it was so good. Even though I can't be there. So I'm actually planning a trip to go down there once this gets like once this stops. So my relationship with them has gotten better my relationship with my I call her. I called my grandma but she's she's not really cuz I went by my own grandparents died before I was born but she's my my sister-in-law's mom and I talked to her a couple weeks ago and she felt. She was worried about my eating so my sister it might hurt my sis when I call together and they send me like a big box of food and then she sent me money for like groceries and stuff. So that was really sweet and I my other aunt.

21:16 Handmade miamax older. So she's like the one who shouldn't her husband and she got really worried about me. And so she like, made me my own mask and stuff cuz of the shortage and then she mailed it up here. And then, yeah, my aunts have just been checking on me and like, it's been crazy. And then, even with adriene stuff, that's because I was really worried about going skiing together and stuff. But like honestly, it's been like, it's been like, you shouldn't date people that you wouldn't want to have to spend cuz, like, I'm on. I'm on, I'm on Twitter sometimes. And it's like, people ignoring my talk about, like, choking their partners and stuff, and we're over here just like

22:00 What's wrong with you? Why are you together? No more. Like, it's been fun. Like, you know, like, I don't know if you're doing it wrong, maybe feel like, I don't know, but it's actually been really good. And then even my problem. My friend, Josh.

22:17 I just wanted to ask so Adrian. Has your boyfriend. Yeah. Yeah. Can you say oh, Adrian's my boyfriend and I like you guys are. Are you just say you're having a good time? Which is like, probably as good of a time as you can have in quarantine, but are you meaning to say that you're getting closer and that you like complimenting each other? Like, yeah, because we were thinking about moving in together. Once I finish the program and we are worried about it. Cuz before the quarantine happened, we had never been forced to spend this much time together, especially cuz this house is an hour away. He would come down like on the weekends when you have days off and stuff like that. So you're worried about it. But then part of the reason why we decided to quarantine and part of the reason, why are you coming up here at all? Was because we need to know if we can do it, you know, and honestly, like I really think that this time is proving that we can handle it living together because like we're all we have

23:17 Pretty much. So. Yeah, I think it's been good for us for real. Like, I was honestly very nervous about it, but it's like, they're haven't really been any problems. Like, it's been fine for a while, you watch movies and stuff. And like, right now, we're, we're going to watch this show called Black AF on Netflix, you know, I'm about to take movies and stuff like that, and we'll go like, I don't know if it's weird. It sounds like there's not much to do, you know, but it's still been like a lot of fun to do in the floor when he was quarantine me, actually, when he had to quarantine himself, we would do like we would do like FaceTime movie dates or whatever. So we've been, I've been binge-watching like, the whole Star Wars, but like, with all the shows included the right now, we're on season 2 of The Clone Wars and stuff. And so he would call me like, it was so sweet. You would call me like you'd be at work all day. Come home and shower, then call me. We would sit up and like, watch the Star Wars together via FaceTime.

24:16 It's been really good. Like we love going to the movies and doing that. For the stuff. We can't do any of the things that we usually do. So it's been like different to figure it out. But like I mean these other people. I don't know what they're doing. Having fun up here. Yeah. I know he's very supportive and he helps you problem and he helps you problem-solve and you are working together. I saw you walking while we were in class together and like it is incredibly sweet, you know, it's very supportive and that he understood you were in class and they just like took the reins in a way cuz you had to pay attention and five different ways, you know, it sounds.

25:03 That really means a lot, you know, so that's wonderful. And are you, okay?

25:20 There's nothing outside. I have no, it looks good. Keeping good wheel of random beeps.

25:32 You know what? It might be one of those birthday parade.

25:36 You heard about that. I've seen those explain what it seems like is people can't have parties. So from what I'm understanding is the birthday boy or girl comes outside and then people like their friends just Gathering cars and Drive by to like wish you Happy Birthday and stuff. So,

25:57 Yes, that's what this is like watching.

26:04 Yeah, there's a parade of cars going by, what should I be the curmudgeon that I am a lean out the window? Me like, can you please get me a recording energy?

26:17 All right, so you don't have any children that you sent, you spoke about your grandparents about your partnership and your mom and your brothers. You have gotten closer to it, which is really wonderful. So you were talking about how you guys keep yourself. Entertained. Do you ever get bored? I do a bit but I mean,

26:41 I'm in class A lot. And then I, I just on Saturdays. I usually, either Saturday or Sunday. I'll just work all day when whatever I have left to do, but what's fun is, it's a little bit tricky because, okay. I have a really good friend to keep myself entertained, when I get bored. I have a friend named Josh, who he had moved here from California. Like last summer, sometime. They go to NYU. He's a theater major. And so he's in the apartment and just leave knife and go to his house, and it's all are really, honestly, that is all our friendship consist of is Pizza, White claw and video games. That is who we are. And sometimes we go to like this bar that's near by in like cuz we were regular so they would give us free drinks which is always a party. But anyway, it sucks because he had he went back cuz on his parents are both older. So he went back before. Things got bad to take care.

27:41 Back where I go back to Pasadena. He's from Pasadena, California. So he flew back before the virus, got out of hand and before, California lockdown so much to take care of his family. And so we haven't been able to play for like weeks and it just sucks cuz it's like, I had like, he's my he's my I like him. I have Josh and Adrienne here to my family isn't in the South. So it was like like losing a whole half of my social life pretty much especially cuz we're not going to class anymore either. But then I found out, we figured out a way to play to play games together on Playstation like the same way. So now that's what we do. So it sucks cuz if I could time difference and stuff, but when I get really bored while I call him at night and like, we'll just sit and play Madden or 2K, or whatever. And pretty soon. I'm going to get Mortal Kombat and so we just like, sit on the phone just playing video games together. And so I do that when I get bored, or I'll call my mom, when I get bored.

28:43 Oh man, that's really about all I do. And then other than that, I'm probably working on my pictures and stuff. So what am I doing? One of those two things about like, your protect your productivity like when photography and and are you still exploring still making? I haven't to be. So it's a little bit tricky, because

29:08 I'm sorry. I haven't been exploring Bill making so much. Okay, so my productivity how do I feel about it? I haven't been exploring filmmaking so much this year at all. Mostly because I had a really hard experience with it last year. It was just incredibly stressful and I think I was in the head space back then where I felt like I had to be successful right away and it made it a lot more stressful than it needed to be. So I've done trying to like, I wasn't even going to do photography, but I ended up doing it because I had to enroll in something in order for my military benefits to carry over, when I honestly wasn't even expecting to enjoy it as much as I have so far. And now I love doing it, and I've been really careful to like, try and do my assignments, and betrayed of every product that I do without pushing myself so far to where I shut down, because with my anxiety gets really bad, sometimes never even liked this semester. We're like, I couldn't even, like I just couldn't go to class or like you did last year near the end of the year.

30:07 This is time, like, just the pressure of doing things and being so overwhelmed. We get so bad to where, like, I couldn't even handle getting on the subway cuz I like the noise in the moving and stuff and I feel like being home. It's like, I don't have as much distraction here to like, do my work and stuff would have been helpful but is really frustrating trying to figure out how to shoot in the house, you know.

30:33 That actually leads me to another question that I don't have on my list. But how is the online schooling going is he said that you feel since you don't have that anxiety is going back and forth on the subway is open but you know, I only have the experience of seeing your work for my classes. But how do you feel like end from my perspective you're doing? Well, of course, I don't see you outside of the hours that were together. So how do you feel about learning online?

31:05 How do I feel about learning online that it again? It's, it's a bit of a mixed bag. Okay, to be honest. I'm having a hard time with a hard time with it now than I was before it. Felt like, we actually met with David, the department chair last week because some of us were like, I mean, I know, I for one was getting some of our classes. I'm just really increase the workload like a lot in the past couple is really fat yet and like it was getting to like it was just so stressful and really overwhelming. And so for some classes we have like like for a provision and style. We would have like one one week we had like research do and we had so like come with some ideas for a proposal and we had photos. Do me a journals do and it's just like shooting

32:05 Stressful, and so it's like, for some classes. I don't mind, you know, being online, like, for shooting lab. I don't mind it because we're doing interviews, and that's something that is totally doable from here. It'd be nice to be able to go home, you know, but I don't mind it. And even for like, go to one. It's not ideal because it's supposed to be like a Hands-On class, you know, but I don't mind working on the on the simulator cuz before we were doing his videos and that was terrible, but now that we're doing like the simulator that feels a little bit better, though. It's like it's like it's tough because I do it but it is like internal. I don't want to seem lazy but it is. Zoom is exhausting, like sort of it has, it's exhausting and it it I don't know. It just makes me not want to go sometime because I need to get inside when it's raining is but I did get like a little depressing and dark and then you're on your computer all day and you're sitting here and in a running around the house, trying to take pictures and stuff. And, and it just it's easy like

33:05 You good today, but like yesterday, I die. Really? I know, I went to class yesterday. But like, I did not want to go to class yesterday just because I like the idea of sitting there for six hours was

33:16 Oh, man, it was terrible. You know.

33:26 I'm 100% with you. I just want to feel for you and I, and I feel for all of us, honestly, but it's good for me to know that. I just think that I understand what I understand from.

33:44 I'll just say this. It seems like the Ambitions of my students in New York is different than my liberal arts school.

33:55 And you all are really on top of everything for my classes, and I frequently worry when I'm, not teaching about my students because, including you guys, and then the other 45 students I have. And I, you know, for me, it's a for me. The only reason I ask is because I have to be strategic about how I use your time. You know what? I'm sorry. I'm keeping you on Xoom here, but I think these interviews are actually so important you and I can talk offline about how if you want to give me any other backs. That's not recorded. Okay. So I think it's interesting. You're the first person that I've interviewed that it was living in the five boroughs of New York City for the last six and a half seven weeks. And I'm just wondering, are there any observations that?

34:52 You'd like to impart to the world about that experience. Like, did you hear a lot of ambulances and sirens?

35:01 So,

35:04 Living in the in the city during the out during the quarantine was and not. Especially now that I'm outside of the city. There were all I did hear a lot of sirens going past my house and that was really stressful cuz it might be as simple as someone's in labor or something like that or I might be someone is dying with the virus and that's really stressful. And even going to the grocery store was really different at one grocery store. The rule was only one member of the family could go in at a time. And then at the other grocery store the rule was they, they let one person in as a person was coming out. I don't know how to explain that better, so I can line up outside and then ask someone checked out. They would let one more person in and even that was like really unusual and he was full of constant reminders that we were in the middle of a pandemic. So, even when I came up here, going to Grand Central Station being like totally, empty was crazy.

36:04 And even in Grand Central. There's like, there's two like there's police and then you have like military men in the uniforms and stuff. And it's just like, oh my goodness. This is seriously. Got to go through every, Scott's going to school before the pandemic. I went against him for every day to catch the 45 and, you know, walking to that like I used that same route. We know that I would go to school and see if there's not a soul is just, it's being the city was really hard because here it's like I can forget about it a little bit better. But there there's the sirens. There is like the empty grocery store shows. There's the empty subway station to remind you that like things aren't right at the moment.

36:47 And even even in my building, you know, we have a doorman and they've like sex, they section off like the front desk with caution tape and they close down all the communal areas and stuff. So it's at everywhere.

37:01 Have you ever were you ever like I saw pictures of my friends who were in Brooklyn, who had to wrap around the block to get into, like, in that line, that was letting people in the grocery store. Did you ever witness something something like that or the lines? Never? I don't, I've never the grocery store line never got so long that it wrapped around the block but it did get pretty long. Sometimes enduring at least not. When I was in the line, I'll say that cuz I don't even like once a week, but there were, there was like, once or twice for the line wasn't quite on the Block, but it was too long for me to stand in it. So, yeah.

37:46 So onto just like a different more upbeat type of question and that is that I have you a lot of my friends are finding a lot of time to listen to music when they normally wouldn't. Is there anything that you've been enjoying any new kinds of music that you?

38:03 Let me think. Oh actually, I've never listen to lizzo before and then the I don't know why I was doing that the service to myself cuz the other day I was in the shower and I was like sure, why not? And I put on some blues music. So I've been listening to her more and now I have I time during the day so like what? Usually to be honest, the most music that I listen to buy find some shows so I can secure yes into the new season of insecure just came out and like they have an amazing like it's always really good. But even that's been fun, even that show black AF, their songs and more like mainstream, but even they have likes you, they have like their own little soundtrack to. So I usually just honestly like most of the music that I listen to it has been for like a movie or a TV show. Anyway, and so now the Beast shows are coming on. I've been listening to their playlist in their soundtracks and stuff.

38:57 How do you listen to music? Do you listen to it through Spotify or something? Or do they have like, a YouTube playlist? I usually Spotify cuz I can use Spotify my PlayStation, at the same time that I play video games. And so you'll just like to sit in and say, on Spotify play the blackest. Fuck, exactly. Like there is like an insecure. Like, I don't know if it's the official playlist cuz it's like a lot of one artist and I'm like, suspicious about it. But there is like a plan is that was made about made by someone about show-and-tell, literally, like I'll just be playing like Madden or whatever and I like it on, like the put on the insecure playlist. On Spotify. I love is bigger. I haven't checked out the latest season yet, but I loved and secure love. I managed to get Adrian and do it. He was like opposed to it at first and I was like, bro, listen to me.

39:57 Why wait? Why did you want him to watch a? Do you feel like you to feel like like I relate to her so much sometimes, you know, is that why we like it? I love it is, it's like so like relatable. It's like yeah, I feel that you dropped your taco and I'm right with you. That's a bummer but it is. It's like she's a fully grown woman with a job and everything and you know what? Like it is looks like yeah, this is a bummer. Like, thank you for being so honest. If I could about your experience, and so I don't want him to watch it with me cuz it's like, it's like absurd sometimes and it's like, I want you to someone needs to witness this with me. Cuz like, before I was like, the only one of my friend group who washed it and it's like, no, like if you're going to date me, you're going to watch insecure and I can't do this alone. Someone has to be here with me.

40:48 That's so awesome. You know, I want this to go on record that like first of all, I am so impressed by your like encyclopedic knowledge on cinnamon cinema and I relate yeah, I wanted to go on record and secondly, I want to say like

41:05 I'm I appreciate your recall of all of the visuals that you experience in life, that then inform you to every class. When you get your critique. You do have something that you relate it to that. You remember seeing or an N. I mean, you know, it's a joy to teach someone like that. And it's a joy to see your facial expression and when something really hits you and is Meaningful, you know, I'm so like, when did you start becoming interested in cinema and like, how long did it take you to accumulate this large encyclopedic knowledge of movies. I first became interested in movies.

41:49 Army think. Okay. I first I knew I want I've always loved films when I was little my parents. We would do like a lot of family movie night and it wasn't because I was especially loved the movies all the time, but it was more the ritual of it like me. Me and my mom or me and my nephew he was using me and my brother. Eric's oldest son my hands and my mom and like, one of her best friend. You would like every Friday. You would like Gather in like the family room and my dad had installed, these surround sound speakers in the rooftops. So we would watch the movies anywhere like this, huge TV, and so it would just be like in. So that was like every Friday we did, we go pick up my thing from his mom's house and then go get crab legs and we would sit and watch movies. Every single Friday. It was perfect. And then at the end of it, we don't get up and dance around like the theme credits and stuff. So I think it was like kind of like a happy memory of my childhood and then I got older and I got a I got a Mac for my Bri like school when

42:49 My birthday 1 year or something like that and a movie. And then I was like, oh, I can do this using my dog. I'd make like, a little, like she had. Like, I made it like, it was like a secret, a secret agent style thing, cuz she's like an all black Pomeranians. But if you like her, just like sneaking around the house and stuff and then I kind of like characters in writing when I got older and then, but I think the love for like watching movies came when we got is going to sound so silly. But we got, I convince my parents to sign up for Netflix, but this is before Netflix show me was really big. So, this was when you got like the DVDs in the mail, and then that was really fun. Not even just because of the feelings. I think it was like the ritual of like coming home from school and there's like a new DVD than taking it back and getting a new one. It was like it was like a bit of a reward system because my book and my parents were active duty Army.

43:49 I spent a lot of time alone, especially after we moved from Georgia to Washington. And so then it was just like the process of like, I can look forward to this at the end of every single day. Yeah, that's what my parents like divorce and stuff. That was, what was like, this sucks. But like I have my movie still and so I became like the ritual and then also see, like a little bubble for me to like being my movies by myself and then you just never went away. And now and I'm at a point where it's like right now. I don't know that I would make movies, but I still love watching films. I love it. Like, have you ever kissed like a Critic? I haven't, I haven't ever thought about it. For one thing. I ate, I wouldn't even know how to go about doing that. You know what? I've never I've never thought about.

44:38 No, no, you're good at doing critiques with a discography. So I'm just remember the methods, the four major areas of our criticism and it totally overlaps with any other art form. And if you ever wanted to do it, what you have to do is establish a set of writing that you can show us an example to potentially be hired to do critiques. And how do you do that? You start a blog. Cool. I didn't know that and you ended for a while you talk to yourself, you know, like you just write the right and then when you go to apply for a job or you call on a deter and you say I'd like to send you some samples of my writing. You have any of them. Cool. I might try that. I do every time you finish a movie write it down and then put it into a Blog. Thank you, Jackie.

45:38 On Instagram I could. Yeah, so that's my idea for you. And then finally the last question and that is you indigenous Silver Lining of this experience. And what would it be?

45:56 I think. Okay. I'm thinking about two things. I like a personal level than unlike a more broad level on a personal level. Like, this is terrible. You know what, this is at a place in my life where things are actually going pretty well for once. So it's like I'm in control more of my future than I was before. So, like after this like, you know, I'm finishing the year then. Like I'm going to get my first house with my partner and we're going to get our jobs and stuff. And so that in and of itself is like yeah, this is like I'm soaked and so like that is like yeah, this is cool when I'm going to take it. I really, you know, I want to take him home at some point to go meet my family and stuff and you know, I don't know when we'll be able to do that. But even that's like, you know, I've never brought anybody home before and so even that's exciting on a personal level, but then like

46:51 More broad. I think that this virus.

46:58 We can't go back to how things were like we can't use like the same excuses. Congress has found an awful lot of money in these past couple of weeks for different programs and funding and stuff like that. So all of the things that we had been asking for it's like you can no longer say that the money isn't there. So as far as like health care and health insurance, you can no longer see that. That's even the need for that stuff, isn't there, you know, and yogurt for education in college and stuff like that, but even even outside of like finances and stuff. I think that it's exposed a lot of flaws in the administration that people who have been struggling it off for years, can't shrug off any more. So people who are pro-lifers can ignore that he wants to reopen the economy for the city, like the microwave. Finish your thought there. What do you mean?

47:49 Oh, oh, oh, so what I mean, but so, therefore, I know people, especially from the south who voted for Trump specifically because they were anti-abortion. And now though, you know, the talk is of reopening, the reopening the economy to save the economy. But and it's like, oh, only two or three, two or three percent of the population will die from the buyers, but that's like a million people died from the virus. And so it's like you can it's not very poor life of you. That's like, you know, the economy is more important to you than the lives of potentially millions of Americans. It's not two or three percent. It's millions of people and so you can ignore that. He doesn't he doesn't, he doesn't give a shit. He doesn't at all for him. It's money. It's business. And that's not how you want to come Street. And so now it's like those of you who voted for him because you said that he was pro-life or whatever you're wrong. And he's proven it because it's your grandparents is your siblings is your children, who are is you

48:50 You know, there's a lot of older people to buy new, who go to grab your, your lives are at risk because he doesn't care about you. He doesn't care about like he cares about money in his reputation. And so, like we can't go back to that same arguments again. So I think like politically I'm not, I don't, you know, I don't believe in. I don't want to, I don't like to like it here. The one party is over. I think that's kind of even George Washington said that you can't do this. This is his bipartisan thing is never going to work. So but I this is ministration is a hot mess and I think that it is on Full view right now, you know, that he uses his, I watched like the sea, I watched his own, I watch Cuomo's daily briefings and I watch has anybody things and the tones and you know, I'm doing great. Everything's fine in this is great and then yelled at reporters and it's like you can't this is not good and you all can ignore this anymore. You have to, you have to face facts and do something about this basically, so I think that's it's over.

49:50 Is it going to be time for a major shift? Even man, even at the rate that like African-Americans and super dying and getting sick from the virus, you know, people who are saying like the discrepancies in healthcare, aren't Our Miss African-American women. They can't even say that's not true anymore because it happened right now where my people are dying at a much greater rate than everybody else. And it's like, these are facts. These are things. We have been telling you guys for years and years and years and you've been able to ignore it, you know, but you can't anymore. Cuz if it's in your face

50:20 Wasabi. This is quantifiable quickly at the heart of like the news for about African-American women in healthcare when they were pregnant and delivering babies. And how the death rate was higher. I heard that a lot and that was like, you know, finally being heard a lot. It meaning, when I say a lot. I mean, like, there were several different, like articles and on the radio, Newsradio, excetera like that. And now, it's like, they have all the squad, like it's all about quantifying, you know, so if you have numbers than people, understand numbers, instead of actually just being like understanding or have empathy for human life. Anyway, do you make an excellent point as always? So Lila? Thank you so much for this interview. I think I have this feeling that you and I could talk forever and ever and ever.

51:20 You know, I always enjoy your opinions and I love your insights, and I wish you well in your new location. So that is the end of our interview. Thank you. Yes, no problem. Thank you. Thank you. I'm going to just stop at real quick.