Etesta Causey and Jill Glaser

00:01 My name is etesta Causey I am 41 years old today is

00:07 February 1st, 2013

00:11 I'm in Orlando, Florida. I've been interviewed by Jill. My name is Jill Glaser. I'm 26 years old today is February 1st 2013. We're in Orlando Florida and I'm here with my new friend aesthetic Tessa at esta. That's how you pronounce your name right beautiful. So, can you tell me a Testa where you grew up I grew up in a small town in the Delta and is called Hollandale Mississippi where we mostly surrounded by cotton fields in my younger days now is is more cotton and corn fields.

00:51 Do you have any favorite memories of growing up there? My favorite members are in the backyard playing softball and kickball and hide and seek and just running around playing with my sisters and brothers. So you have sisters and brothers. Are you the oldest or the youngest I am the youngest of 16516? Yes. Oh my gosh. So, what was that? Like, what was it like growing up in a family so big it was it was a great experience for me because I had so many of the mentors and and and leaders to look up onto to Panama surf after so I mean plus I got my way.

01:33 Because you were the baby. Yes. So what were your parents like my parents were hard-working they work very hard to provide for us back then and now both of mine are retired, but my mom work 12 hours a day 7 days a week at a hospital when we were younger and my father worked at a service station and they both work long hours, but my mom still some kind of way provided us three hot meals every day. She will come home. She was prepped food for breakfast, but she made sure we had three hot meals and I just really admired the strength that she showed to all of us.

02:16 So your siblings, can you tell me who were you closest to out of 16? There must have been yeah, I'm closer to he is the youngest boy, but he's three years older than me. Everybody say that we look like twins. What's his name Barry Pastor now, but yeah, we we've always been very very close. What's his personality like bear is very reserved and

02:47 It did take a whole lot to make him upset and even if he is upset you will never know it but it takes a lot. He has a very calm and sweet Spirit. Do you have any favorite memories of growing up with him? What did you guys do together as kids? We mostly stayed around the home playing a lot. I do recall one time when Barry started driving you should take us to the roller skating rink and I'll Greenville Mississippi and all we had we had an old station wagon and when he would go around and pick up other kids in the neighborhood the horn didn't work. So he would rev the engine up on the station wagon to let my friends know he was outside.

03:33 So, can you tell me what branch of the military are in I am in the Army Reserve. Okay, and how long have you been in the Army Reserves and more of this year? It will be 21 years. Wow. Do you remember what made you enlist or what?

03:55 Brought that on. Yes, I do. Okay, I was going into my

04:02 Third wheel

04:05 Yeah, I was a junior in college and

04:10 I had a a break up with a boyfriend and I just I've always had a problem with expressing my feelings. So when we broke up, I just I don't want to be around him. But anybody else while I just needed a change so I joined the Army and went to basic training. So you trying to argue because you need it. That's a big change, but it was a great change. It was a great change because I got extra benefits for education for which that wasn't even on my mind at the time even finishing College. It wasn't even on my mind, but I did come back finish college. I got great benefits. I learn leadership skills, and I even learned to open up more because I was very shy and I didn't talk a lot.

04:59 Were you afraid at all? No, not at all. I wasn't afraid I guess I didn't know what to expect because I didn't I didn't have a lot of time around others are already in the military cuz most times you now when you have soldiers that come in they have a little time they go to drill with us for about four five six months before they go out. So now they scared because of hearing all these terrible stories, but I didn't have that luxury and I'm glad I didn't so what did your family think about it? My dad hated it. He didn't like it when I took me down to the bus station.

05:38 He didn't stay at the bus station, but he went down the street and park and washed it so he was was he nervous for you, or he just he was in the military and I guess his experiences that I had a sister and cousin and then my brother bear was also in the military and he just didn't want to see his baby go to the military, but it was great for me. So can you tell me about have you deployed I have deployed to Afghanistan and I was in Kandahar Afghanistan my unit with my Battalion was in leatherneck Afghanistan. So I was the only one from my unit in Kandahar as a liaison. Okay? What does that mean? What were you doing? I served as the Italian liaison where I am.

06:35 Since the Battalion was in one location and then I'll hit High headquarters in Kandahar. So whenever there was something at the Battalion one of the other needed from each other and they couldn't make that contact then I was at go-to person. So I attended meetings that Battalion staff could actually fly to Kandahar to attend. I brief on behalf of my Battalion Commander every Monday and Thursday a lot of things I did.

07:05 Supply activities ordered food. We are coordinated convoys coming in and pushing them back out and we had to make sure did the Cowboys become more Personnel had place to stay in and whenever they came on to Kandahar and we also a coordinated flight in and out of candy can a Heart full Battalion Personnel that are even going to R&R either coming to Kandahar cast for trainings off while come for medical reasons or whatever. So it was a well-rounded job. How long were you there? I was on Kandahar full about 10 months.

07:49 How did you feel when you found out you were going to be deployed?

07:54 I was excited because I have been in the military for.

07:59 For 19 years and and I have never been deployed and I wanted to get that experience to see what it what it was like and and first-hand rather than hearing it from somebody else and then being a senior NCO you don't want to you know, you don't want to retire and say what I never got a chance to go overseas, you know, so it was a great experience, I'm curious what it feels like to be a woman in the military. Where were there any challenges for you or what was that? Like, I don't think there are any challenges. It wasn't a challenge for me per se because they have different things that

08:41 I mean everything that we do in the military a male and a female can do you know what the exception of going out and doing all this field artillery stuff, you know, but now I hear that they're actually allowing women to do that. But it's it's it's no different. They don't they don't make it. We're so so hard that a woman can't survival or succeed in the military.

09:05 So tell me about being away from home. What was that? Like it was tough?

09:13 Initially, especially we went around September. So Thanksgiving was the first big holiday we had and Thanksgiving was okay.

09:28 But it with the food being so horrible in Kandahar, you know, we didn't have the comfort that you used to you know, that family thing. You're special with me being there by myself. What do they have to eat?

09:45 Orange eggs really better all the time. But when I first got there and I went to breakfast the first morning. I took a I really took a picture of orange eggs. Oh my God, the breakfast was horrible and I work in food service. So when I look at a buffet line and I see cereal that's open, you know out not an individual packages and stuff like that and it freaks me out and I'm looking at the workers, you know, cuz we were served by the local National so it kind of freaked me out. So when I first got that lost like 15 lb cuz I wouldn't eat while and then Amazon became my best friend so you were able to get online. Yes. Okay. It was very slow, but we were able to get on it. We have to pay for internet. So what did you miss the most is that food? I mean, what did you miss most about being home?

10:39 The thing I miss most was being able to having a luxury of being able to just go and be around my family whenever I wanted to or friends or whatever being able to reach out and call him.

10:55 Most time when you when you have time to call them is either the night over there or day here. So it is it's a time difference that kind of messed it all up and then along I want you working.

11:08 So what what was your family's reaction when you told him you were going overseas. So naturally they didn't want me to go cuz I know you can't go can't you get out of it. Then. I know I'm not going to get out of it. So they didn't want me to go but they you know eventually.

11:28 Change their minds and supported me along the way you've been in the reserves for nearly two decades and which sounds like a rich history there. Yeah. Do you have any favorite memories?

11:47 I was in one unit my first unit for 17 years and I just like the camaraderie we had at that unit. Cuz a lot of us have been there awhile and it was just like

12:01 An extended family that's the way we were wherever we went, you know, we had our Fallout but we still came together when it was when it was time for us to come together and stick together. We did that. We work together real good and I just liked it the whole environment of that unit and I miss him. Was there a particular person in the United influenced you

12:27 Or even in the military in general

12:33 We had why Wednesday influence, but her

12:37 Her star anise and her leadership style of leadership eventually, you know, I had made a big impact on me because we had a commander when I first became the unit administrator at the unit. Imma do a status milltek and everybody was saying she saw me she did she that but they didn't understand that as a leader. She didn't want us to fail and

13:07 As when she when it was when she left that I

13:12 Found out I discovered that she was really trying to help us and not hurt us. So, you know, I cannot adapt it not the starring is but you know, it's all about business and taking care of business first knows how she was, you know, take care of business and then we play later. What was her name Charlotte Gibson.

13:35 So how how is military life different than civilian life? Cuz you're in the reserves. So you've got a little bit of both. I imagine. Oh my goodness. I never thought that there was a difference until I came back from overseas and haven't been in the uniform for over a year.

13:55 Is so hard to get your mind back into the civilian lifestyle. Like when we was at oversees everything structured. I mean you you know what you're going to wear to work. You know what you're going to be doing when you get to work and you know that it's a possibility that you it ain't no set hours in the Army, you know, you saw the 24/7 and you know, you always on God and on the civilian side, we just so relaxed and carefree over here and then we take a lot of things things for granted on the civilian side. So

14:36 So you found the transition to be a little difficult coming back in it was

14:42 I still try to.

14:45 Still trying to come up come out of it. I have trouble sleeping.

14:52 And

14:55 Like concentrating on things is tough.

14:59 Why do you have trouble sleeping?

15:03 Because every the sound you hear and you think about where you were it just take you back and you think it's about it breaking in on you, but you just don't feel

15:15 Can you feel like somebody's always after you?

15:28 If it says been tough for me because I'm in Atlanta by myself and

15:37 I had issues not issue. But right before we'd be redeployed. We had some soldiers that got burned up in a vehicle and me being the liaison. I had to help.

15:51 You know go around and we was running all that day. And I was already going through some stressful things at home that happened at home. And you know, you got to put your life on hold to you know, Kanna satisfy everything and make sure that that those soldiers that died their families are taken care of and and and

16:15 Everything is done in a timely manner and then I had to go to the Mark. I never been a person that could handle death and

16:26 You know, I haven't to go but it to the mall that was just devastating to me.

16:32 And I

16:36 I can't even fathom having to tell a wife that we only found only 30% of somebody's body.

16:49 And then to see the vehicles.

16:51 In imagine that somebody was in there trying to get out that's devastated.

16:57 That is the Devastator.

17:00 And I just can't I can't get that out of my mind.

17:08 So how have you been coping?

17:15 I work a lot.

17:18 Recently, I've been tasked with additional do this at work because someone that's the job. So that's kind of like keeping my mind preoccupied but

17:28 I don't sleep a lot. Maybe get to 3 hours of sleep a night and sometimes I just like withdraw from everybody.

17:38 But I try not to but

17:41 You know, you just can't I can't explain to you just can't and you don't want to be around anybody.

17:49 So

17:51 Is hard people don't understand?

17:54 What will we go through when we come back?

18:03 Do you have friendships with other people in the reserves?

18:11 And as a matter of fact one of my old friends I met her a surprise for last Saturday for her birthday and I drove to mobile to see if she's actually in the unit, but she's about to retire.

18:24 Is soy

18:26 She was like with my rock what I was overseas, you know, I can always call on her and even now if I'm having a real hard time at night, I don't care what time of the night and see if I can call them on a Sergeant First Class Geraldine Burke's I can always call her no matter what time it is cuz she actually you don't understand what I'm going through cuz she went through it.

18:55 So what describe what a good day is when you're overseas.

19:00 A good day

19:02 Have a good day is not having a rocket attack.

19:08 And everybody in a pleasant mood.

19:12 Nephew get days.

19:14 What did you do to pass the time?

19:18 Well with me being Ellen old and I had

19:23 Anywhere from 12:15, Illinois under men working under me. I was constantly working all the time. So I was busy working long hours 12 14 16 hour days. So I was constantly busy and when I wasn't busy on how I read my Nook I carried my look around with me.

19:49 So can you tell me about the early days in the reserves? What was that? Like what were

19:57 Those times like care for you didn't care about nothing. You just go to drill like we see the Young.

20:08 Soldiers coming in now. They just come to drill and they so bored. We don't have nothing to do. We just sitting around and that's all we did. It wasn't nothing much. I look forward to going to annual training the 2-week training we have because every three years in unit. I was in we used to go overseas. So I've been to Okinawa Japan twice and Tokyo once so, that's what I look forward to.

20:38 What are you most proud of?

20:41 I'm actually very proud of Ashley accomplishing the rank of Master Sergeant. My goal was Sergeant First Class. And so when I put in my packet for E8, I really didn't put any effort into the packet because it wasn't my goal. I just say I'm just going to get out anyway.

21:06 And I said I made the right that I wanted to make and so when I got an email saying that I had gotten promoted I was shocked and elated. So that was I was very proud of it.

21:21 What are some of the lessons you've learned?

21:25 I've learned how to exercise self-control.

21:30 Especially

21:33 And to delegate

21:35 Delegate delegate delegate and is always more than three ways to do something. Not just my way. So that was a big lesson for me because I'm kind of like a perfectionist and I want things to be done a certain way and in a certain time frame, but I had to learn how to let the reins loose a little bit and let her learn in their own way. Like I had to so that was the biggest lesson I had to learn.

22:11 So what was

22:14 Can you tell me if you have any regrets?

22:18 And join the military absolutely none at all.

22:22 I mean even what I may think bad experience, which I don't think I really had bad. I will call them bad experience, but I don't have any regrets whatsoever.

22:34 Joining the military. I'm absolutely ecstatic that I did it was the best thing that happened to me cuz I don't think that I will be the leader that I am today.

22:46 Cuz I was always so shy and to myself.

22:49 And now you stand up and have a voice.

22:56 So you are in see you in Afghanistan is that the only place you were deployed or redeployed anywhere else know I would do with my first appointment. So what and you're still in the reserves, right? Yes. Okay. So what is what's like a regular day when you're here?

23:20 Stateside yeah.

23:22 Like I said, I'm going to do a status technician, so

23:28 It is my obligation to be in the reserves to have that job. So a typical day for me is actually doing research composing memorandums.

23:44 Doing stats

23:47 I am pissed at number to spend stats for the command cuz I work at command level. So it's just a busy everyday Personnel Administration type of day.

24:03 I'm so what would you what would your advice be to someone who is interested in the end listing?

24:10 I am always always trying to encourage young people especially if they are looking into going to college. I'm encouraging them to join the military for the education benefits. That's the number one thing, you know, especially if you are reservist you not try to encourage them to go when they take the ASVAB to do the best you can on the ASVAB test because it the higher you score the more benefits you get so a lot of recruited there just him just go in there and do do your best just do whatever long as you score 27 and 28, whatever the minimum is, but why I get into the Army Reserve if you not going to let it work for you the benefits is what we doing for. So go and score high so that you can get all of those benefits the education benefits the student loan repayment the tuition assistance GI Bill

25:05 And that's what I try to encourage them to do and once they get in I like to tell him that you control.

25:13 How you move up in the right? So what's on your chest don't have to stay there all day, you know for 5 years. It's up to you.

25:22 When you were deployed, did you did you miss any family events? Like was there anything that you were missing when you are my family? We are very close and it's a lie every Sunday. We have Sunday dinner at somebody's house every holiday there, you know, they get together at somebody's house. So for Thanksgiving, I always like to be at home enough around family. And I and that's what I miss the most, you know being around family for Thanksgiving in in the Sunday dinners. They will Skype me sometime and we having for dinner today and and you know, if they got babies she did this and that she's doing this to you missing all those great events who cooks everybody. So what are you cooking?

26:10 I cook this by anything, but I'm the baker in the family. So you do the desserts.

26:20 So can do you remember when you came back from Afghanistan to remember that day?

26:27 When I came back I came back for our and all the first time.

26:34 I just remember being nervous.

26:39 And I don't know why I don't know. Why don't I have been away from their families about

26:47 11 months since I have seen your family cuz I came home in June. So I stayed over almost the entire time before I took are not.

27:02 All the way home. I was just anxious in

27:05 Anxiety said in yet and I don't even know why I just felt like I was lost in time.

27:13 Let me know what has happened, you know all this time since I've been gone and I just recently found out that.

27:22 And my mom can say that when I came home I was to myself and I

27:30 Is I wasn't top of that much but I didn't notice that about me because that's what happens used to doing over there. But I didn't I didn't realize that I brought it home with me and

27:42 I do remember being in my mom to my house and I just stayed in the bedroom most of the time when I was there, but that's what I was accustomed to if I wasn't at work I was in my room. So I was just your doing what I was doing what I had been doing for the last a month.

28:00 Song

28:02 But it it hurt me to know that they said that I had changed so much.

28:09 Because I wasn't missing since I've come back. I'm not the same person that I was when I left.

28:18 But I didn't realize that though until they said it to feel like you're able to talk to them more now. No.

28:29 No, I don't really talk to them about.

28:33 Stuff that happened over there

28:39 Too hard

28:40 Is hard and then you know like it like I said earlier it just feel like

28:47 If you wasn't there, you don't understand, you know, I don't want people to think that I'm crazy. So that's why I want to talk to, you know, Miss Burks. Well, Geraldine.

29:02 Because I feel like they won't understand. You know what I've gone through what I've seen they will understand.

29:11 So going back a little bit. Do you remember when you first saw them again like when you

29:20 It wasn't it wasn't no emotion. Well when I first got home I drove from the airport.

29:31 Because I didn't have a way to contact them. Nobody knew exactly what time I was coming in. So I rented a car and drove home and when I drove home, I have a house in Mississippi to so I went by my house first because that's where my personal household goods were stored until you know, while I was deployed and when I went there I discovered the house had been broken into so did everybody first reaction that they saw me was that anger and hurt so it wasn't it, you know, so glad we know everybody, you know gave it showed it to me, but I can give it back.

30:13 You know because of that I feel violated.

30:19 So

30:25 So are your both of your parents still alive? Yes, they are. Okay my day it'll be 86 years old, March 5th.

30:37 Text me. Do you have any children? No, I don't.

30:41 So who who's your support system right now? Who are the closest people to you? My sister Pam?

30:53 She is one that I've always known at mind and kind of looked look to for advice to see you know, she's always been there for all of us no matter what over the years and she's the one that made sure we know we went to college and state and collagen and kind of work and help Mom. Take care of us.

31:20 So did she what did she say about her experience with you coming back to she say she thought you had changed you.

31:33 What did they tell you about how they felt about you being away?

31:39 There was always afraid, you know for my safety because I was in a more dangerous area than my Battalion was we got rocket attacks all the time. So they were always concerned about that and plus they would always see something on the news about Kandahar so

32:01 What what were the rocket attacks like?

32:06 Oh.

32:08 Sometimes it will be really close is like

32:12 A big loud explosion and in penile how close they are like shake the ground or shake the building and then you hear the siren going off and

32:22 I tell you I watched it. Well, you ever watched Alex Cross if you ever watch that movie.

32:31 Almost 40 in somebody shot a rocket.

32:37 And when somebody a rocket and it hit I jumped on the Florida movie theater, cuz that's what it sounds like, you know that impact and it just still so fresh in my mind because I had just come home August we came on Mid August and this was September when I saw that movie so it was and I just should I was with my niece it was it was just take you back. So could you you could hear it coming or you just felt the explosion at this field explosion so you couldn't anticipate that no.

33:14 No, they always sound the siren when the rock is one incoming.

33:22 And right but was at in July right before we get ready to come back.

33:27 I think I see I had about about a month left there and we had 10 rocket attacks within like 20 minutes on my God. That's so we had to stay in the Bakken for like two and a half hours.

33:47 It was crazy.

33:59 So what helps you through when you are over there and you were overseas Skyping friends and family.

34:15 This one day at a time. Actually. The time goes pretty quickly. Then goes by real quick. Really? Yeah, cuz you working longer hours and and the time difference so really you don't even really know what day it is and we going so fast.

34:33 So what do you see for yourself in the future and the future?

34:41 In about 4 more years, excuse me. I'm looking to retire.

34:47 Prior to going overseas at my goal was to do 30 years, but

34:53 We have a whole new generation now. So I think I'm going to let it go in about 4 more years.

35:00 And then why I

35:03 Hopefully I'm going to try to acquire a department of the army civilian position in human resources and try to retire in Atlanta in Atlanta, Georgia.

35:18 Well, thank you so much for talking to me today at esta I enjoyed. Is there anything else that you want to tell the world?

35:27 Know if you're not in the military and your young join up great experience. Thanks so much. Thank you.