Ana Castellanos, Elsie Valderrama, and Alexander Castellanos

00:05 My name is Elsie Castellanos. I am 44 years old today's date is Friday, March 13th, 2015. I'm at the University of Miami Richter library and my relationship to the person we will be speaking about today is he was my dad a Vietnam veteran and I'm here with my brother and my mother who will introduce themselves now.

00:33 My name is Alexander Castellanos. I'm 38 years old today's date is March 13th, 2015. I'm at the University of Miami Richter library and their relationship to the participants is my sister and my mother and we're speaking about my father Ray Castellanos.

00:51 My name is Ana Castellanos. I am 70 years old. Today is March 13th, 2015. We are at the University of Miami and my relationship with the recipient.

01:07 They say I am his widow he passed away last year.

01:14 Okay, so we're going to talk a little bit about my dad Ray Castellanos.

01:18 And my first question is to my mother Anna Do You Remember When Ray and listed and how old he was? Okay, when I joined the army in 1962 at the age of 18 years old and why did he choose to join the service at such a young age? Was there any event or person that helped shape his decision while he was a cooling immigrants who came to the United States at the age of 15. He became US citizen and wanted to fight Communists. So as soon as he was available, he enlisted

02:00 Okay, I know during that time was also the Cuban Missile Crisis and that probably created and urging him having left that country. Yes. When did the Cuban crisis he wanted to fight to the Communists in Cuba and he tried to get involved but he was very young and then he was not accepted and then Elsa where he has he hate and he's aged he enlisted is the United States government.

02:32 So, how was how did this affect his family and his friends at the time? I know you had not met him yet. But what stories did he tell you? How did this affect his family? He told me that he was very hard for his family, especially for his mom. He was her only son. I did not want him to go to war. Did he have any fears about joining the service while her I didn't fear anyting he was Proud To Yonder Services. I wanted to fight Communists in any way he could okay. Do you remember what branch of service or what his job and assignment were they enlisted in the Army? He was in the Infantry and eventually became a sergeant.

03:24 Okay, what did he tell you about his early days in the military? What what did he share with you? Okay. Also Ray was excited about joining. The military is Ellie. They wear difficult physically and mentally very hard in the end the difficult days of training gave him the skills of discipline tolerance and teamwork with where skills. He carry with him all his life.

04:00 Alex what did he tell you about where he was deployed? I know we all talked about he was deployed to Vietnam while he was in the military. And what would it what do you recall him telling you about that and and his deployment.

04:20 I know he had volunteered to go to Vietnam with a couple times and the Army didn't let him because he was the only Spanish-speaking Pathfinder in the Army. And then when they did the Huey attack helicopter division, which I think was the 11th Airborne, he was part of that and then that whole Division and I may be using the wrong nomenclature was deployed. He was deployed and some of the battles that he was in was the I Drang Valley play cool and I Drang Valley when he saw that movie that Mel Gibson Did We Were Soldiers he told me that that movie The only thing I missed was the smell and the Heat and I see you can't get that in the movie.

05:08 But

05:10 Yeah, he was deployed and and he was there for a year as she wanted while he was there his his term in the military finished and he asked to stay a little longer so you can stay with his men.

05:22 What years was he deployed? 1965 1966

05:32 Did he tell you about any difficult times he spent over there or any times that he felt it difficult to be away from home the holidays were tough for him. Cuz obviously you a Cuban family was always very joyous in the holidays and no Chatwin on and all that stuff. So that was difficult. And then the rain season was never fun because it did not stopped raining for days on end and no heat.

06:07 He told me a lot of stories about the war with some of the stuff that you remember that they couldn't drink the water from the wells because the wells will be poisoned. So they had to get water from mud puddles and drink from there. And you know, he spent in 20 30 days in the field at a time with one hot meal that we was lucky a month. So it was difficult, but he he persevered and he was also a very it was a decorated soldier. He was once they were ambushed and he was able to his men were pinned down. They had taken some big casualties and he he has two of his guys to just there was a bunker and they could not

06:50 Let you know I got the guys in the bunker. He asked the guys just start shooting and he just grabbed a grenade and rent a side-to-side zigzagging all the way up to the bunker on so he could drop a grenade in the bunker and he was just too. Have a guy just take charge take control and one of his captains would always tell him why would you take point cuz I was a sergeant you should have kind of be in the back and he's like if I'm going to leave the man I have to be there from the front and I from the back so he was the first one in the last one out the type of person.

07:24 Okay.

07:28 Elsie when was raised date of separation from the military as I recall, he was honorably discharged from the Army in 1968 and he used to talk about his return home from Vietnam where they stopped at San Francisco and he spend some days there before traveling back home to Miami and the days on this ship. I know he he always used to say how soldiers in today's battles come back and from one day to the next tattoo get back in touch with the reality of civilian life where he spent many days on that ship coming back which gave them some days to acclimate to being away from the battlefield, but he never really received any kind of

08:25 Assistance is far as psychologically to acclimate to civilian life and it became very difficult for him in those early days to be a part of regular society as we know it after having been in in a war and I remember he used to talk about and I did experience at times when any loud noises or an unexpected approach of a someone would would startle him and cause a reaction. He he was a changed person after he returned home from the war.

09:04 Was there anyone or anything to help him adjust to civilian life?

09:09 I don't know that there was a lot of help readjusting to civilian life. I think probably after he met Anna and they began our relationship some months after he had returned that probably helped him the most but he didn't have any real professional help.

09:33 How do you think his time in the military change ring?

09:36 Well, obviously I didn't know him prior to that. But I do know that as a child when we grew up. We we grew up in a very strict household, you know, it was it was almost run like a military Battalion. We had very strict rules and high standards and a lot was expected of us and clearly he he had that that discipline from the military and he didn't have a lot of patience for silliness or silly things, you know, and I think that probably trickle-down as well.

10:16 What advice do you have for others transitioning out of the military?

10:21 Well, I think things are definitely different now and probably soldiers coming home today are being treated at the VA and and do got some more professional help then the soldiers of awards past.

10:37 I recently a couple years ago when he was very ill took him to the VA and he was in and out of the VA a lot with his illnesses, which were actually as a result of the agent orange exposure in Vietnam. And as we were sitting one day in the waiting room of the the emergency area another veteran who clearly was a Vietnam veteran from his age came in and and just was sobbing at the counter and a nurse came over and my dad and I ran I wish we both kind of looked at each other and wondered what was going on and the gentleman said just just broke down and said, I just need help. I don't have anyone and I just need help. I need help and not Ray looked at me and I looked at him and and we didn't really have to say anything. We just kind of in our eyes felt just the sorrow for this man. Just realizing that he did need.

11:36 Help and a lot of the men in the VA were either young recent War veterans or the older 60-something 70-something Vietnam War veterans and it was such a difference between the two different types of veterans and their needs so it was it was really sad to see and and making those trips to the VA were definitely something that was emotionally difficult for for him and and forever each one of us that took him there.

12:13 So let's move over to Anna and talk a little bit about after the military how you guys met and talked about some of that the best time that you guys had together and the family so and how did you meet Ray after that? He came from Vietnam War here to walking the place where I used to work and immediately I saw him. I knew he was different. There was something about him that the stole my heart and wheezing and video for 11 month we wear married.

12:54 So

12:56 Tell me about some of the best times in in your relationship relationship was great. We have a beautiful in time for him after being in the Army and leaving those experienced by himself finding a person when I respect and love him will sustain his life and I don't want I want that person.

13:27 Or Alive we're surrounded by a lovely experience is especially with our children our family life moments where his best time in life. He really appreciate.

13:39 Dell off under support was this a family especially the love of God.

13:49 So can you tell me more about those Early times that family times tell me more about what what you all did together with us and in some of the ways that he used to like to spend time with us. Okay for him the most special moment. He's right where the moment. Children with his family are the beginning of marriage we had.

14:19 I feel a very sad moment in the family because I lost my sister that he really loved her. And as soon as he will start a relationship and he was another amendment for my family.

14:38 Hilo my mom my mom loved him he was a brother for my sister and my brother that mean he became part of my family are we really enjoyed we all together till we go together after I marry, you know, we had in months of Separation because he has to take some courses University ogm where he used to work at a time and then moan for him was horrible because he was his operations. I never forget never in my life. We forgot the when we leave tonight again in Miami airport. He was jumping he was smiling it. He says he's I tell he was telling me how happy he was to get together again. Let me hear really enjoy a married. I tried to give him all the support from the beginning. I know that he was damaged.

15:38 And he never accept it. But his reaction is sometimes it was a white why he reacted that way you look so that if we ask you to tell me that he's having a problem but what I try to help him with my love with my understanding and then I try to explain our kids. His father was in there was a lot of very hard experience. They try to understand him when he's really I should wear like the way it looks like Alex tell, you know, it was very a streak on nail see the same time. It was a very humble very home. Forgot. He he trying to type to take that patience to a key that will send the very heart weight. He has immediately called them.

16:36 And try to ask his forgiveness. It. It was something that I married a lot. You know, he's humble and he was he was he enjoyed our family when we had our kids for him will sit most beautiful experience that he could ever had and indicate he's dying to try to race them. We saw it with the body. You respect.

17:12 With the love of God and he was very proud of all his children and their way that they grow up.

17:23 So what are some of the most important lessons that you think Ray learned. Throughout his life? Okay, one of the lesson. He always try to taste me at each other than that never.

17:39 Get worried.

17:41 Fear and regret

17:45 They say that they don't they keep you busy, but they don't take you anywhere.

17:54 All he talks he's off to all that was that he He Saw 2 on the standing order.

18:05 He told us that every time that there was a shame in any business for your family something in a new one idea decision. We should talk to the person that we're going to be affected for those ideas emotion that decision because that way that will strengthen the relationship. So you're with believe that understanding with lid, Devera relationship.

18:39 Okay, so now turning it to ask you a question about you and and Alex as well. What would you say is one of your favorite memories of Ray?

18:56 Alex for me. It's the countless hunting just we did together when I was fortunate one that me and him had the same Hobby.

19:05 And will there be fishing or hunting and we went on many trips just me and him and we spent hours and hours together and

19:15 Whether it was climbing up a mountain in the middle of Idaho or

19:20 Or somewhere in Texas or Wyoming and

19:24 Just some of the you know

19:27 Most of the simple things just sitting under a tree peeling a tangerine and eating it with him.

19:36 So I have countless of those in and that's what I

19:41 I cherish the most.

19:43 I know I have a lot of a lot of favorite memory that I never forgot them when we were on the store once and I saw a jacket that I like it but Harry Potter beautiful yet today. He came home and he said okay now that you're here so early and go to go to the store to see that. Yeah. Okay. This is why I don't need it.

20:24 They said okay, and they said well, I'm going to take a 512 bus and he went to the store when he came in hiromi the deck.

20:35 You say you everything you see something that you like it by it? And I know there was the last gift for my wedding anniversary to my last wedding anniversary gift. We were in the store and I saw a beautiful nativity set. They will how beautiful how beautiful I was in love with them in the next 2 days. I went to the store again and ask the lady order one for me to know it was one left from 1 year ago, and she told me I don't have to wait to have you all got frustrated and then it mean wedding anniversary t

21:27 Anniversity he gave me

21:31 Those Sunday small details that he spoke very highly about him about his love to me about our relationship.

21:45 That nativity set. I remember because I took him to pick it up which I didn't realize now that he had previously ordered it but he was very ill in those days. He had been going through chemotherapy. He could barely walk. He would take 10 steps and be out of breath. He had a lot of health issues and I remember that he called me and said you need to can you please he wasn't driving anymore at that time? And he said, can you please pick me up? I need you to take me to run an errand. I said to tell me what it is and I'll pick it up for you because I just even getting him in the car was a task in and of itself. I need to know I need to just come and pick me up. I need to go so I picked him up and we went to the store. I parked as close as possible. Literally just a sidewalk and there was the door to the store and he was out of breath just even walking in the store and my daughter and I

22:38 Went in with him and and the woman said I have I have the nativity set for you and he said I needed to come and get this for your mom for our anniversary and I just realized now that she had seen it prior and it was a beautiful nativity set. In fact, she still has it in the house and sets it up in in the table when you walk in, but he he really made a point to make sure that I took him to pick up that set that day. He was very thoughtful with with Anna and always tried to have those details the little details that make a difference. I remember when we were young and might some of my favorite memories are just Summers spent in the Florida Keys he would

23:28 Set us up there for the whole summer and he would commute back and forth for work. And we had our cousins and friends all camping in the in the same area and we would spend our whole Summers down there and he would come and go and on the weekends make sure that we had plenty of activities. We would fish we would snorkel on. I'm just all kinds of things and I do remember those Summers finally and I know he made now as an adult having children. I know the sacrifices he made to make sure we had those those Summers to remember.

24:08 Finally, do do any of you guys have any funny stories that you can might want to share any any final?

24:18 I'm thoughts on Ray that you might want to share. Yes. There is a lot of us a funny story, especially where he was a scoutmaster of the true 575 all those kids remember him in like another father. That's like it'll either like it lovely person and I but at the same time a phony and very very mischievous and one night one of them. It was a sweeping and what he was asleep and he was like a starting, you know, and then he has another one of the boys called to take some toothpaste. I put it to Spades all over his face. He's hun, especially his finger because sometimes he tried to he tried to scratch his face and then when he wake up, he was all his face.

25:18 To spay his hand and he was running behind Graham. He had all the kids, you know, he wasn't funny in store for all that. That's all the kids. Remember remember him.

25:29 He was a private with Joker. He loved April fools. He would play April fools jokes on everybody when he worked at GMAC. He would prank his his boss all the time and the federal employees and now was just sent me this always had a knack for joking and and playing some sort of they're all harmless pranks but pranks and so he never took it too far, but he always found a way to have some fun at one time. He bought a ticket for the lottery with the number that they would wear one and then he gave it to the to the last number that were all day and he was everybody was

26:23 Congratulation gray, you know, he was jumping around his balls. Say hi all your great to have those kind of joke for his boss has he had it he has his business Korea. He was the last position that he had. He was a vice president for the GMAC Mortgage manager for the State of Florida for the mortgage company. And then he has 48 on offices under him 11 offices and they all of them all of the loan officer love him the way that he treated them they wouldn't he helped them the teach them how to do a better loan officer the bedroom and basement and they always was trying to make joke about him about all of them.

27:23 They remember like it practical joker.

27:27 He got here early in his life. So he didn't have too bad of an accident because certain words that he had like Focus. He didn't pronounce very good and

27:40 They would make a lot of fun of him cuz of that and different things like that that he actually have fun with it too. Because then he knew that he didn't pronounce. Well, so he would say 101 times to have even more fun with them.

27:57 Yeah, he he did come when he was young. He arrived in the United States at the age of 15 with his two sisters and smothering his father.

28:06 Clean Cuba fleeing communist Cuba and so has he actually finished high school here in the United States. So he didn't have a very thick accent. It was a very slight accent and he spoke English very well. So, you know from a boy who came here in 15 and accomplished so much and he was very very proud of it of his time in the service. He was very proud of of being an American citizen and being a part of this country. He never returned to Cuba. None of us have a man in my immediate family to him. He he was now an American and although he he always held

28:52 Very fond memories of his homeland in and it made him very sad to see what what became of it and what has become of it. He

29:03 He identified himself with this country. He he was a great role model. He was a wonderful father and in his later years as a grandfather. He cherish that rule. He he had six grandchildren and with every single one of them he gave them individual attention and and they will have, you know, very fond memories of him. So

29:31 My dad was an exceptional man. I always say he was larger than life. He he he just walked a little a little taller than everybody else with his character his stories the way he conducted himself. He he was a really amazing man and all of us are are the better for for having him be a part of our lives so in and hopefully this interview will be something that will continue his legacy and and other people who don't know us will know him.

30:07 So, thank you.

30:10 I wanted to ask something very important that Ray was it and what's really there, you know any section sort of the lab Insurance Agency in 1971. And Ray was the first q12 by the president of the Mortgage Bankers Association in the State of Florida. And the first time that a father and son both were president of the association that was and I was on the end of his life for the proud.

30:53 Is he a Sprite if you felt so proud of his son Alex. He continued his step then I'll be at that time. We tried to do all the possibility that the where are you don't we trying to accomplish them to try to take him to Tallahassee for that event and but it will still be what is was impossible for us even so it was impossible for him to type to record a message to Alex and to all his friends know. Where are they all belonged to that organization. That was one.

31:39 What's the happiest days?

31:42 He's life.

31:47 Ray also was a PCP of the Pacifica made of from Bob the Pope John Paul II.

31:58 For the commitment

32:01 Do the Catholic church allow the community and to come into commitment to the love of God?

32:10 He was a recipient also forgive Florida lease. That is one of the biggest I wore that any scoutmaster can receive and he was one of them the men he accomplished so many beautiful sin in his life.

32:35 Places to rent his love to do other people say what you cannot be so sexy for his life on the best and your family you are not able to bring the people that run down to your

32:51 Always with you. That's why I should be CEO to help everyone.

32:58 We lost him.

33:00 I know you was born April.

33:05 And we thank God because we all were a blessing to have him as a husband.

33:15 Message Brian as a father. God bless us.

33:20 Thank you.

33:22 Thank you for