Diane Rain and Kim Grounds

[00:05] KIM GROUNDS: My name is Kim Grounds I'm 57. Today's date is Tuesday, October 15, 2019 and I'm at StoryCorps in Atlanta. I'm interviewing my mom, Diane Rain

[00:17] DIANE RAIN: My name is Diane Rain age 81. Today's date is Tuesday, October 15, 2019 and we're at StoryCorps Atlanta. My partner in crime is my daughter.

[00:32] KIM GROUNDS: Okay. We, my sister and I, Karen, decided that we wanted to celebrate my parents wedding anniversary by doing something a little bit different. This year marks their 60th wedding anniversary and we thought this would be a good way to celebrate it together and keep it in history forever. So I'm interviewing a mom and I'm interested in learning about what makes you tick and learn a little bit more about what has occurred across the wonderful almost 82 years of your life. So I'm just going to ask a few questions and then you can answer or add in or whatever you'd like. And I was my first one is what is it like? What was it like growing up with a strong working mom and no dad?

[01:20] DIANE RAIN: It was. I didn't know anything different. I was an only child. I only knew one other person in my class or any class that only had a mother or a dad. So we were unique, but no one paid any attention to us. It was daunting growing up with a strong mother because she was well known, well liked, great volunteer. She had the ability to maintain a family life, but also a life of her own outside so that she was not cloistered like some people might be as a single parent. And she didn't hover, definitely didn't hover. She was good. I appreciated her much, many, many years later, much more than I did probably as a child.

[02:17] KIM GROUNDS: And that's how it usually happen. How would you describe yourself? You described grandma there. How would you have described yourself when you were young?

[02:27] DIANE RAIN: Not a really curious child. A child that followed rules and regulations, except when she broke them. She broke them not to be mean or mischievous. I guess it was just once in a while I was tempted. Living in a small town, most people found out what Diane did before Diane's mother got to her. But my mother always knew very quickly. Probably the prime thing you might not know or understand. I was very shy and that colored probably my whole. Has colored all my life.

[03:08] KIM GROUNDS: I wondered that if you have a strong mom, do you sort of sit in the background a little bit?

[03:15] DIANE RAIN: I don't think that's always the case. In my case it was. And also when my mother divorced after a short marriage at that time things were very quiet. You didn't advertise these things, so you kept things to yourself. And my mother was a very private person to begin with. So I guess that also went into being shy and private, keeping it to yourself.

[03:43] KIM GROUNDS: Tell me about something that happened, significant in your childhood, say, before you finished high school and why.

[03:52] DIANE RAIN: The most significant thing I can think of is I was selected to represent the state of Indiana at the World centennial conference of YMCAs in Paris, France.

[04:03] KIM GROUNDS: Wow.

[04:04] DIANE RAIN: I belong to an organization in the YMCA for high school girls. There was high school tri high y and high y, boys and girls. And I became the state president of the girls association. And the boy who was president was supposed to, as we expect, was supposed to represent Indiana. However, he couldn't go to the event and I went. So I got to represent Indiana. That was probably the most outstanding thing because I had never traveled any further than Chicago to Dallas and back and had never flown. Well, no, that's not true. I had flown a number of times.

[04:45] KIM GROUNDS: Did mom go with you? No, just the students.

[04:48] DIANE RAIN: Just students and chaperones. So there were, I don't know, 13 maybe from Indiana, that went together with. I think we had two chaperones. I remember the female chaperone. I don't remember. I was going into my senior year in high school, So I was 17. Interesting. And to do that, I had to earn money in addition to what my mother could supply. I was able to get. I don't know how I got it, but I was able to book speaking engagements after I returned. And organizations were donating money towards my trip.

[05:34] KIM GROUNDS: So speaking engagements at the community organizations?

[05:36] DIANE RAIN: Yes. The Lions Club, the Rotary Club, probably Eastern Star, White Shrine, maybe the schools. I don't even remember.

[05:45] KIM GROUNDS: How did that work with being shy?

[05:48] DIANE RAIN: Somehow I managed to do it. I'm not quite sure how, but I was. Well, they had paid or helped support me, so it was a matter of. I had to repay them.

[05:59] KIM GROUNDS: Interesting.

[05:59] DIANE RAIN: I'm sure it was scary. I don't really remember. I remember speaking, but I don't remember how I felt at that time. But I know I was shy.

[06:07] KIM GROUNDS: What were some of the favorite things you like to do independent of school?

[06:14] DIANE RAIN: High school.

[06:15] KIM GROUNDS: Yeah. High school graduation. I'm sorry? High school or college. Timeframe.

[06:19] DIANE RAIN: Hmm.

[06:20] KIM GROUNDS: Or even younger.

[06:22] DIANE RAIN: Liked to play on the playgrounds. Loved to play outside on the playgrounds. As a kid. That was fun. Bicycle around hopscotch. Roller skating. Liked roller skate.

[06:34] KIM GROUNDS: Sorry. You probably roller skated outside, not in.

[06:35] DIANE RAIN: A roller rink, right? Yes, there were. No, to my knowledge. No roller rinks. And these were four wheeled skates, not inline skates. Broke my arm doing that. So it was a memorable time in high school. Very involved in school with band outside high wye and I guess still girl scouts for a while. I grew up as a latchkey kid, so I spent a lot of time. The YMCA helped raise me, the library. I spent many, many, many after school times and weekends at the library. And I loved to read, so that worked out very well. Played with my friends.

[07:22] KIM GROUNDS: You said you were in the band. I knew you played piano. What else did you play?

[07:26] DIANE RAIN: I played clarinet from age. Well, from fourth grade through high school, through college. Not through college, through high school. Yes, I played. I ended up in second chair, first section in high school.

[07:37] KIM GROUNDS: Oh, how come you didn't take it further?

[07:41] DIANE RAIN: Well, I went to Purdue and Purdue University. At that time their marching band was a military marching band for males only. And well, I think maybe they may have selected some females the year before I entered. But it was extremely competitive so it was not worth trying to get into.

[07:59] KIM GROUNDS: Did that make you mad?

[08:01] DIANE RAIN: Not particularly. I mean, I enjoyed it, but I wasn't heartbroken. There were enough things in college to.

[08:08] KIM GROUNDS: Keep me busy besides studying.

[08:10] DIANE RAIN: I did a lot of studying. I didn't learn to play bridge. I didn't learn to knit argyle socks, didn't learn to drink coffee, didn't learn to drink beer. But I passed all my classes. And that turned out to be more important than those other things.

[08:24] KIM GROUNDS: Yes, yes. Didn't learn coffee, I learned coffee. You mentioned the one accomplishment of getting to represent Indiana. Are there any other accomplishments extending all the way through current day that you're particularly proud of or you don't think people know about?

[08:47] DIANE RAIN: Well, I finished college despite getting married and having one and two thirds children and having gone to four undergraduate schools. We had promised my mother I would finish college and I did. That was probably, that was a very big step to do that with all going on. As you girls took swimming lessons at the IBM Country Club and didn't pass your test. We went every week, every day of the week to the pool after the guards who taught you swimming said take them every week or every day, let them swim and bring them back every Friday until they pass the test. So while you were doing that, I would swim on my own. And at the end of the summer somewhere I saw that they were having senior life saving classes and I thought, why not? So I took senior life saving classes and interestingly enough, when we had to try to pass, I don't Know, it was a half mile swim. I think There were probably 15 people of which half were teenagers. I passed the test and most of the teenagers flopped and didn't pass it. So I was. And I got my senior life savings test. Didn't do anything with it. Probably the next thing I can think of, major was running for the board of education. And that was daunting because at that time you handed out flyers and you went door to door talking to people and most people were very nice, some were extremely rude and nasty and that was difficult.

[10:33] KIM GROUNDS: But what prompted you to ever want to do that?

[10:36] DIANE RAIN: For some reason I had started going to the board of education meetings and I was learning about what was going on. But there were always closed door sessions. It's like, what is going on behind the closed doors? I wanted to know, so I did that. And let's see, probably beyond that, two things taking up hand drumming and playing the mountain dulcimer after years of not doing anything musically, those were daunting because you have to learn to do a lot of new things and the brain doesn't always want to learn to know them. Do them as well as you'd like them to do. So those are things. Raising children also sort of enters in there.

[11:19] KIM GROUNDS: Yeah, attempting.

[11:21] DIANE RAIN: Attempting is a very good statement there.

[11:25] KIM GROUNDS: Yeah, I understand that one completely. Throughout your life, are there any particular people who made a very big impression on you, either good or bad or things that stuck with you?

[11:42] DIANE RAIN: It took me years to realize one person made a big impression and that was my mother. Strong lady, raised me by herself from age 3. Full time job volunteering in the community and well known jobs that many other people didn't look on as what their favorite person. She was the truant or attendance officer for the whole city schools. So all the parents who had troubled children knew her and all those kids knew her and knew me. And that sometimes wasn't too pleasant. She took on a job as being assistant probation officer for the county. Carrying a gun and dealing with goodies and baddies, mostly bad people. That just was like my mother is doing that. It didn't affect me other than the fact that I was embarrassed. She was. I don't know why I was embarrassed, but it was like.

[12:47] KIM GROUNDS: Because you were a teenager? Probably.

[12:48] DIANE RAIN: Probably, yes. Later on I admire, when I think about all she went through dealing with my grandparents who unbeknownst to me, because it was well secreted on everyone's side, didn't approve of her at all. And when my father died, she was his parents, his parents did not approve of their marriage and didn't particularly like my mother. I guess believe over the years they came to respect her. But there was a lot of animosity, but it was underneath. I never learned about it until I was like 21. It's like, where was I? I was oblivious to all was going on. And she survived that. And she started out as a farm child, a family of nine kids, dirt poor and finished high school but never went to college. She did take college classes, had many, many friends. So there are just many things to admire about her. But it takes years of maturity to look back and see these things.

[14:00] KIM GROUNDS: Yes, that's right.

[14:01] DIANE RAIN: As a teenager, it's like your mom.

[14:04] KIM GROUNDS: That's very true. It's very true. I remember her being strong and sort of. I wouldn't say lay down the law because that sounds harsh. She was more fun than that. But she had a great smile, too.

[14:17] DIANE RAIN: Yes, yes. She was. No nonsense with me.

[14:22] KIM GROUNDS: Yes.

[14:23] DIANE RAIN: And with you, the grandchildren. She was pretty easy with you.

[14:27] KIM GROUNDS: That's her job.

[14:28] DIANE RAIN: That's right. Learn.

[14:30] KIM GROUNDS: Yeah, I understand that. What was your first impression of dad?

[14:39] DIANE RAIN: Well, first impression I heard his voice was the first thing. It was a nice voice. He was calling somebody else. He was calling for another girl in the dorm for a fraternity brother to set up a time for a date. Not for him, but not for him. No, for the fraternity brother. The fraternity brother had been trying to get ahold of this girl for hours. And she was on the phone, or someone was on the phone. And he got the phone book for Shealy hall and figured out Somers and Smithwick were probably not far apart. And he looked and yes, they were on the same corridor. So he told me, explained what he was doing and asked, would you go down and get Bobby so I might talk to her. He told me where to go, how many doors down the whole thing. Never having been in the dorm. He had a nice voice. And then when I saw him at a brine date, a Coke, what they called a Coke date, Coca Cola date, at that time, that evening, he was nice looking. He had a nice pleasant smile. He was very polite. Opened car doors and closed car doors.

[15:42] KIM GROUNDS: For which he still does to this day, that is Right.

[15:44] DIANE RAIN: And at that time had a pocket of matches, matchbook in his pocket at all times because he learned that if anyone had a cigarette, he was expected to light the cigarette.

[16:00] KIM GROUNDS: Really?

[16:00] DIANE RAIN: Yes. That was something he learned in the fraternity. Whether it was a fraternity brother or a guest or a woman, he was always to have matches. So he always. Until Long after he got married. Always had a matchbook in his suit or jacket or his pants pocket.

[16:15] KIM GROUNDS: Oh, that's weird.

[16:16] DIANE RAIN: Good manners, a nice smile.

[16:19] KIM GROUNDS: Interesting. And I think it's interesting that he told you specifically how to find this woman and how to get down to her room because his attention to detail can be overwhelming.

[16:31] DIANE RAIN: It was at a very early age.

[16:32] KIM GROUNDS: It continued on and on. Oh, that's funny. Anything in your lifetime that you wish you could have done that you haven't now? You guys have done a hell of a lot of stuff.

[16:48] DIANE RAIN: I don't know that I regret not doing anything. I regret doing college in the way that I did it. It would have been much easier if I had gone through and gotten married after college.

[17:01] KIM GROUNDS: So why didn't you?

[17:04] DIANE RAIN: Because your dad was two years ahead of me and he had graduated and he was in the Navy stationed in New London, Connecticut, and I was in Purdue. Well, actually I transferred because I was going to go into nursing, but he asked me to get married during my beginning of my junior year and we got married the second semester. So the other thing I regret, and it's. I don't know how, if I'd been more curious, I would have solved the problem is I ended up being an English lit major despite detesting a number of my English lit courses. But my senior year at Illinois, I took an American lit course which I absolutely adored and fell in love with. And it turned out that Illinois did have an American lit degree which I wasn't aware of and no one made me aware of it. So I regret that because I love American Literature. English literature, not. Well, Middle English and old literature of England I do not care for. And that's a lot of stuff we had to study.

[18:12] KIM GROUNDS: Did you ever think as you were in college, well, you were married at the time, but did you ever expect to be getting a job?

[18:25] DIANE RAIN: Probably not, because I really didn't feel that I had anything that I could put into a job. I didn't type. I wasn't a secretary. I didn't have an education degree. I had a literature degree and we never discussed me working.

[18:43] KIM GROUNDS: Did you ever have an inkling that you wanted to?

[18:46] DIANE RAIN: Not particularly. I didn't have time.

[18:48] KIM GROUNDS: Well, two little kids.

[18:50] DIANE RAIN: When you were in high school, I started working part time at the library and that worked out very well because that was sort of transition because you were. Karen was going to graduate the next year and then you were going to graduate the following year. So I was doing something else that was taking my time and smoothing that quote into the empty nest syndrome.

[19:11] KIM GROUNDS: Yes. Yes. You had it planned out even though you didn't realize it.

[19:15] DIANE RAIN: Correct.

[19:15] KIM GROUNDS: Yeah. Well, that's not a bad thing. This is a weird question. Now that I reread it. How would you want to be remembered? And the way that I'm asking this is think about it in terms of adjectives. Besides chai.

[19:33] DIANE RAIN: Let me put it this way. I would prefer not to be remembered as perfect. Now, that's not answering your question.

[19:41] KIM GROUNDS: No, I get it.

[19:42] DIANE RAIN: But I will say that I have several friends who for some reason have put me down into the perfect category, which is totally incorrect. And I have tried to correct that for 20 or 30 years and have not been able to. I'm not perfect. My house is not perfect. I don't dress perfectly. My makeup's not perfect. I'm not a perfect friend, a perfect person. I try to be a loving parent and wife and grandparent. Try to be a caring person, an honest person. What else? I'm not going to say I'm curious like your father, but curious to some degree. I love to read. I love to be remembered as a reader.

[20:46] KIM GROUNDS: Yes, yes.

[20:48] DIANE RAIN: And is someone who.

[20:50] KIM GROUNDS: I think there's curiosity involved in that.

[20:52] DIANE RAIN: Oh, yes.

[20:54] KIM GROUNDS: I think you guys have different means of curiosity, that's all.

[20:57] DIANE RAIN: That's true. That's true. Those are some of the comments.

[21:01] KIM GROUNDS: Interesting. Okay, go a little off script here. I know, having had two lovely daughters myself, that some of those years can be pretty tough when the kids are either battling each other or battling you. How did you get through that with you? Or Karen?

[21:20] DIANE RAIN: Or Karen with you girls? I kept asking myself, why are they doing this? Why are they acting this way? Why are they fighting? What's the problem? Being an only child, you don't have anyone to bounce off. And I didn't have a father to bounce off. And my mother, my mother said at all times if something went wrong or something went missing, it was obviously Diane And I kept saying it wasn't me, and at times it wasn't me. It was very frustrating. It was hard dealing with knowing how to deal with you because I didn't know how to deal with a brother. I hadn't had that opportunity.

[22:04] KIM GROUNDS: Did you talk to Graham Grimadabi at all about it?

[22:08] DIANE RAIN: Probably a little bit, yeah. I mean, she had brothers and sisters all over the. She was a mother to the youngest ones and a pain in the neck to her brothers. Although one brother, the youngest brother was considerably younger, was the one who was taught how to cut the girl's hair, how to sew how to cook, how to do nail polish. But under threat to his sisters. You tell anyone and I'll get you. So, I mean, she had all that under her belt. I didn't. You know, at that point, you had Dr. Spock and you read and you listened to other people.

[22:45] KIM GROUNDS: Right. Talk to your friends.

[22:46] DIANE RAIN: Other people had similar problems. Not too many of us were only children. So I think it was much more difficult in some aspects. I just didn't understand what was going on and how to handle it and probably didn't do a good job some of the time. Well, I know I didn't do a good job some of the times. And I'm sure there are memories that you guys have that would say you really failed.

[23:12] KIM GROUNDS: Well, I don't know if I'd say that. I think there was a lot of battling that just happened between Karen and I that probably nobody could have fixed.

[23:23] DIANE RAIN: Different personalities.

[23:24] KIM GROUNDS: Yes. And that's what I always say, and I think that's completely true. Approaches. Different approaches. Let's see. I remember when I was younger, you and dad had lots and lots of cocktail parties or parties.

[23:42] DIANE RAIN: Right.

[23:43] KIM GROUNDS: And lots of friends coming over and spending all kinds of time organizing events and food and all that stuff. Was that just the times, or is that because you just really enjoy that.

[23:53] DIANE RAIN: Kind of stuff or that was the times. Everyone did that at that period of time. There were a lot of parties, open houses, cocktail parties, dinner parties. Did I enjoy it? If you asked your father, he would say, absolutely not. She did not enjoy it. I tend to get very uptight because, yes, I want it to be right. I want it to be the way I want it to be. And I didn't always do it well. Everything came out. Everything came out well. But I usually ended up in knots. But, you know, I would, you know, when it was going on, I would entertain the people and be happy and pleasant. Most of the time. I'd be pleasant. I might not be happy all the time.

[24:44] KIM GROUNDS: Yeah.

[24:45] DIANE RAIN: Entertaining. I'm not comfortable in the limelight. In the limelight. I'm not confident in my cooking and in my preparation and timing and things. I'm just very unhinged. Sometimes. I admire you and your sister because both of you can whip together a dinner or a lunch or whatever out of nothing or out of everything. And it's always very casual. And you're not stressed out. You're very relaxed. And I would say I am never relaxed when I do that. That's just me. I just can't get relaxed.

[25:25] KIM GROUNDS: Well, I think on a Range of things. Your level of being relaxed versus not relaxed is just different than my level. And I may well be uptight, though I try and make it look more relaxed. But I have to say, having had a husband who's very relaxed helps tremendously.

[25:42] DIANE RAIN: Well, you do a job. Both you and your sister do an excellent job. You've got me buffaloed.

[25:51] KIM GROUNDS: So what else do you want to do in your life? Travel some more where you've been everywhere.

[25:59] DIANE RAIN: Oh, Mongolia, for one thing. I'd like to go back to Antarctica. There are a lot of countries in South America we haven't gone to. And Eastern Europe. There are countries we've only gone to 90. I don't even know how many there are. Well over 100. And it's fun just to go to a new country. So I'd like to do that. I'd like to be able to maintain my ability to read, play the mountain dulcimer and hand drum. One important thing is I'd like to be able to maintain friendships. And that has to be looked at very carefully because my friendships generally are in my age group and they are now beginning to die. My mother's best friend, Bernice Reed, was a prime example of how you should have your friendships. Her friendships ranged when she was in her 90s, anywhere from 60 on up, older, late 90s. And I always admired her because she had young and her age friends, and my mother was the same way. I'm finding that is a more difficult time at this stage in life and in American's way of life. Organizations that I belong to have been healthy, but getting new members in, younger members in has become very difficult. So I find myself in several organizations where we are all generally the same age bracket. And that's fine. I enjoy that. But trying to find some younger ones. I'm getting some younger friends through my music and the gym. And the gym, yes, Because I do work out four or five days a week, and I've been doing it for 30 years. And I can say there are a lot of people there I've known for 30 years. I have no idea what their name is, their names are. But we talk. And I've made it the last couple of years, I've made it a point to start learning names and saying, okay, it's Nancy. You don't see Nancy more than four or five times in a month, if that many times. But you've got to remember her name and her face. And I'm working hard at that. Being shy, that's another thing that makes. Because I still have that shy thing. If I get to know you, there's not a problem. But that initial getting to know is I don't put myself out and that's my fault. And I understand that. But I try. I'm trying a little bit harder now.

[28:39] KIM GROUNDS: Isn't it amazing you still have to keep trying forevermore.

[28:41] DIANE RAIN: Well, some people don't. I think some people are just naturally outgoing.

[28:46] KIM GROUNDS: Well, they maybe have to try and rein it in a little bit, but they probably have to continue to try and rein it in.

[28:52] DIANE RAIN: A lot of them don't rent.

[28:53] KIM GROUNDS: Well, maybe they should learn. True. I had a question and it slipped my mind. Oh, right, right. You, in the last 30 years, maybe have had some, in my mind, significant medical challenges. How did you get through those?

[29:20] DIANE RAIN: Well, the first breast cancer I had was when I got through with a surgery, a lumpectomy. They said no cancer on a Friday. And on Monday I had to see the doctor and he said, I know you have a lot of questions, however, I've got to tell you something, you do have cancer. And that was a kick in the stomach because I had taken off an hour from work and I had to go back to work and no one knew about this and had to deal with it. I had gone in with the idea, you know, 50, 50 chance, try to be positive. Now I had it. And in that period of time, in 84, it was not a positive thing to have cancer. It's never a positive thing to have cancer. But it was very negative then, especially with breast cancer. And a neighbor, a well loved neighbor had just died of breast cancer. And as a result I had decided I wasn't going to tell anyone, so.

[30:26] KIM GROUNDS: Including your children.

[30:27] DIANE RAIN: I didn't tell anyone. The only one who knew was my mother.

[30:30] KIM GROUNDS: Dad knew.

[30:31] DIANE RAIN: Oh, dad, of course, yes, she had to know. But I think my mother, that was the only one knew. And that was for a long time, years and years and years before ever letting would know that I'd had it. The second breast cancer, different kind of breast cancer came back after 26 and a half years. And that was again, I said, you know, I'm going to have to have a reality check here. You know, it's possible you have it, possible you don't. I was pretty sure that I had it and the first cancer, a long time went by. Every day I thought about cancer for years. When I had the second round, it was a matter of all right, you just plow ahead. Double mastectomy with reconstruction. This is a little harder not to let people know but by that time, people were. Some people were aware that I had previous cancer and we just had to plow ahead on it. And that has never been as big a deal as the first one. I go for a checkup. Never particularly fearful that they'd find anything until one test came back a few years ago that was positive. Well, it turned out it would be a false test, but that was horrible. That was very hard to deal with. The aortic valve thing that came about and I don't know, really didn't think about it would be a death possibility. But it could have been. And that was a recovery that was much more difficult than the breast cancer surgery. But I have friends supporting you girls, supported your dad. It was excellent. Absolutely outstanding.

[32:23] KIM GROUNDS: I remember we were. Maybe I shouldn't use this word, but we were dragged to church as children. And I know you don't go much to church at all anymore. Was there any faith in there or is that even.

[32:35] DIANE RAIN: Yes. Even though I don't haven't gone to church for a long time, I still have faith and belief. Yeah. Do I believe that I could ask for something and I would get it because I asked for it. My view is there's so many things going on that God cannot possibly deal with each and every one. So it's your faith and your belief as to whether it's going to happen or not. But that did help. But strong support of your dad was probably the best thing. And you and your sister friends, in all cases, really, a lot of them didn't know what was going on. Again, private person not telling people what was going on until after the fact. With the lumpectomy, no one would have to know. But with double mastectomy or aortic valve replacement, open heart surgery, people, unless you just lay low for months, which again, was suspect. The thing that probably I never realized that was most scary, which is way back being diagnosed with Asthma at age 2. And I did not realize how serious asthma could be, even though I hacked. Oh, that was another thing I had to respect my mother for as a single parent. She dealt with day after day, night after night of hacking and wheezing and coughing, I mean, and horrible sounds coming out of me and not much medication to help. And if it had been me, I would either have strangled the child or gone out and strangled myself. One or the other. I mean, it was terrible. And I had no idea until maybe 15, 20 years ago, maybe that you could die from asthma. And I keep thinking, my gosh, I was really lucky it was back before they had the medications that they have now. And my doctor said, well, maybe you'll grow out of asthma. I didn't, but maybe you will. I didn't, but I was fortunate. I've been fortunate that I haven't had a severe case for 50 years.

[34:56] KIM GROUNDS: That's good. You. When you talk about Grandma Dobby, it is apparent that one of the things that you think of her is. Well, to me, it's apparent that you think she was a strong person. Would you be surprised if people describe you as a strong person?

[35:13] DIANE RAIN: No, because I put on a good front. No, that's an honest statement. Not in all cases. In some cases, some people would say that and I would go, really? What are you basing that on? Others, I can see that. But no, I don't think of myself that way. Definitely don't.

[35:34] KIM GROUNDS: Even when you recount everything that you've dealt with.

[35:40] DIANE RAIN: Well, the health stuff, I guess I don't even think about. I guess you have to be.

[35:44] KIM GROUNDS: Yes, I know.

[35:44] DIANE RAIN: Probably when I think about it, probably especially in that I didn't share it with people.

[35:50] KIM GROUNDS: Right. To do it kind of by yourself.

[35:52] DIANE RAIN: Yeah, I guess. Okay. In that respect, I will say I will agree. Yes.

[35:57] KIM GROUNDS: And. Well, can you also think of it in terms of having two daughters fighting all the time and you survive that?

[36:02] DIANE RAIN: I don't know if that was being a strong person. That was being a person who tried to put a puzzle back together, that never saw the puzzle whole to begin with and hope to see. And I will say that two proud things have come out of this. You and your sister, you have grown up to be strong, determined, independent.

[36:30] KIM GROUNDS: I put on a good front.

[36:32] DIANE RAIN: Intellectual women who have gone through a lot of things and are doing beautifully. And you went through school without all the problems that so many of our friends had. Whether it was alcohol or it was drugs or just messed up lives, not knowing what to do or how to behave. You guys did a good job of helping to raise yourselves, essentially. In some ways, you helped raise yourself.

[37:02] KIM GROUNDS: Well, we didn't know any better. We didn't know any different. I think now kids know different and so they act different.

[37:09] DIANE RAIN: Well, we lived in a community where we were very homogeneous in many aspects. So you weren't exposed to some of the things that other communities, children now are, because your communities now, some are very mixed communities and children are exposed to so many things as a result. And that's not a bad idea. I think there are some things that if you guys had been exposed to them in childhood, that would have been good. It didn't hurt you not to, but it made your life a little bit easier or friendships or understandings a little easier.

[37:46] KIM GROUNDS: Right.

[37:47] DIANE RAIN: But very proud of both of you.

[37:50] KIM GROUNDS: Well, thank you. That's me smiling. Well, I guess maybe we can end on that note, and I'll say, thank you for doing this. Happy wedding anniversary. I think it's. Oh, that's another thing to be proud of is 60 years. That's pretty damn amazing. People I've told that to are pretty impressed. So I hope at some point, Chip and I can get to 60. I may have to stuff them and stick them in the corner, but we'll still make it to 60.

[38:18] DIANE RAIN: Good.

[38:19] KIM GROUNDS: Okay.

[38:20] DIANE RAIN: Thank you very much. This has been very nice, A very nice anniversary gift from both of you.

[38:26] KIM GROUNDS: Good.