Don Hamlin and Win Harper

00:07 Hi, my name is Robert Harper regular win. I'm 76 years old. Today is Friday, January 8th 2021. I'm in Upstate New York and my conversation partner is Don Hamlin had we known each other since 1983 and 1984 and the friendship has grown over others.

00:33 I am Don Hamlin. I'm 72 years old. Today's date is Friday, January 8th, 2021. I am currently talking from Playa del Carmen Mexico, but my home is in Nashua New Hampshire. And when women died as he said I have known each other for a long time and we're going to have some great conversations on some of those times throughout that 37 years or so.

01:04 When I'll start were the first question P online, why don't you tell us a little bit about your family and your upbringing and where you grew up and you know, how it how did Robert hartner Harper start in this world? Tell me a little bit about your family life little bit Western north and west of the Pittsburgh was born in a very cold day in 1944. My dad joined the Marine Corps the next month award for 2 years. I have an older sister three-and-a-half to four years older men spend what time of year it is.

01:52 Three-wheel car typed up. My dad was a requirement. That was a car salesman. My mother worked at the courthouse play high school sports. I want a scholarship to go play football at Rutgers University and I discovered 255 lb 5 foot 9 and slow was not competitive at that level after trying to stop a 220-pound freshman fullback with a hundred fifty nine fifty five pound body did not work is so I retired football.

02:31 Bryn Mawr College and was 1966 and it was the Vietnam War. So instead of being drafted. I went to enlisted or join the officer candidate school for the Marine Corps and retired 26 years. Later.

02:46 Message me start of me. Anyways, okay. Us from Troy Pennsylvania small town boy from Northeastern Pennsylvania's Troy Pennsylvania. And when people talk about small towns, I found that mostly people are talking about a town of 10,000 people that to me is very large My Town had 1700 people. My father was a shot shop teacher industrial arts teacher. He built our first poem of a magazine layout the laid out the house and he built it from that. So he was

03:38 Pretty talented with woodworking in all kinds of construction. My mother was a homemaker everything running in our home and there's a lot going on. I have three brothers and a sister. There was 10 years difference between my sister who is the oldest to my brother who was the youngest and so

04:07 My younger brother and I was the third in line before thin line was 5 years younger than I am. So I was a young child for 5 years and then I have to gain but I called middle child. I don't know how that affected my life but it's true wonderful years and small-town have lots of high school friend still enjoy going back there. But once I I want in the Army on like when I was drafted then I was totally fine with that. I looked at the reserves and I looked at the Air Force and I said no I wanted in and out. So I will I will I want to be at Nam spend a year in Vietnam. The bulk of my time was spent there and I was lucky enough, but

05:05 Even though my obligation was 24 months of active duty and I came back from Vietnam. I had a little over 18 months. So I got out of the army early. So it all worked out for me do that. That's kind of my life and it was really fun memories from small town living.

05:32 You talk about the pressure by small towns. I always tell everybody. I'm from a small town in Western Pennsylvania by small-town at 40,000 people in it. And now I live in a town has 1,500 people in it and it my high school.

05:50 Add was 10th 11th 12th grade. We have 1500 Bissonnet and I have 600 kids in my graduating class. So the idea of a small school is your small town in the sky. I know what time is now but I didn't just stop by X be a small when I grew up. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny how people's relativity, but it's all it's all about your family life regardless what time it is and you and your brothers and sisters and how you grew up and I I had a fantastic grow up in about year in the Marines, you know about why you join the Marines Vietnam years.

06:40 Why did you choose that path and Striker Guadalcanal diary? All the World War II movies and some Korean war movies and during the Cuban Missile Crisis in 1963 at they were 6263 myself and George Barse went down to the dean of men and we're going to drop out of Rutgers and go join the Marine Corps at that time and you march up to his desk. I can't really guys name and George hypostatic sir. We're going to quit college and join the Marine Corps. He has some papers on his desk and he looked up to as he said no you're not.

07:40 A year at Chase on during The Siege there in and I

07:46 I got the graduate in June of 66. I want to the basement place at Rutgers. I said joram economics major healthy and they said if you ever been in the military I said no they said we're going to be drafted.

08:02 Because I've always been wanting to be in charge of my life rather be drafted up and down to join the Marine Corps. That way I felt like I was in charge of my life. And so I'm also 67-68 and

08:19 Lost some friends are in 26 years. I spend the Marine Corps by the best II my life at one time my retired 48 I've spent all my adult life all of my adult life in the Marine Corps and over half of my life in the sprinkler so that the college Susquehanna. Did your parents encourage you go to college?

08:49 Yes, it was kind of expected both both my father and mother had calls. Your mother was a teacher prior to getting married and having to coordinate all the family activities in my father was a ba and get a masters as well.

09:17 It was kind of expected in the small town where I grew up by you were kind of been hopefully they don't do this now, but you were kind of in the college group for the nine college group studies were ain't for college and I clearly had an interest in college. I only applied to a few schools, but amazingly I had the best fit for me ever. I mean I've given that I came from a small town.

09:55 A small town in a small school. My graduating class was 165. So a little bit different than yours University Mall on University. I just had like 1,200 students for years and it was about two and a half hours away was in Pennsylvania admissions director in high school was a gradual the Susquehanna. So they use kind of pushing stuff granite and if it was a great fit for men.

10:33 I have I owe a lot to set when I met my wife through Susquehanna. I was on the alumni board for 4 years. I'm now on the Board of Trustees just started this year at Susquehanna. So I have deep deep roots at the college and it's certainly a good.

10:58 Path of leadership and prosperity and it was a liberal arts degree, which fit me quite well, so that worked out very well.

11:10 SS there a new kids do both parents have gone to college at least your dad is somebody nobody is my town whose parents are going to college education my mother and I switch acacian.

11:33 Flat Europe for people to have college degrees in my hometown was I guess the teachers did probably but the most of my new work in factories or sold cars or something like that. Yeah. I don't think it was right on, and yeah the tickets to the women, you know, sadly I think that's changed but

11:53 Yeah, they're the only thing they even people that went to college during that timeframe the 60s and they used to joke that the women were gone for the Mrs. Degree. And I saw my mother that and I said no she's going back to school in a while. I'll be over season. My mom said why she doing that she's married, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's the mentality. My mother was born in 1913 so that it was that was small town. She's married. She should be a housekeeper in the

12:41 It is now with the censoring it will will go into how we have you and I met its kind of relation to the story. So my roommate from Susquehanna live across the street from Bob at the time in New Jersey, so you were still in the military, I believe and it was a chance encounter Jerry my roommate at a basketball and but even having that and Bob cross the street had the basketball nap guide us more about that.

13:24 I heard across the street from Gerry Nana's and his wife the time and the I was Haddonfield New Jersey brief luminary and I was Marine lieutenant colonel very very concerned be affluent. And I know that there was some comment about a military person move next to I think the realtor even told or the homeowner. So Jerry says, I'm so sorry. We sold this house to a marine battery really did.

13:57 Security clearance one time so the people came around and talk to our neighbors and stuff like in there talking to Laura and they said that they said to her.

14:09 Did Sandra questions they said anything surprise you about that bought and she said

14:14 He was smarter than I thought.

14:19 I got a reputation, but you have very nice to play a lot of basketball together. I guess we were in our

14:26 Late 30s to Tommy's bi-metal 3 that's late thirties. We play a lot of basketball on.

14:32 I do believe that you'll and we don't know when this date was that you were at Jerrys house and in my daughter babysitter for your daughter and yeah, yeah, that was better some. That happened today.

14:48 And now my daughter's 50. Your daughter's got to be 4041. What do you want? What do you want to believe that it's it's not true that that my wife. Darcy said you're leaving our daughter with a daughter of a marine. That's not true. That's not true. That's the first time I heard that so I assumed you went up to the regional NCAA Regional championships in probably 1988.

15:31 We think it's outright. Yeah, and we drove back and forth that weekend.

15:37 I think I was in the process of getting divorced in the time. I'm not sure why I was there but I think that's what's going on cuz got divorced the next year or so. I assume that was

15:48 Prairie Berry and then I was moved on to Alabama.

15:55 Our friend Jerry he went to the Phil Jackson Beyond basketball weekend 1990 1990. I think 1990 email both the coldest it will be males 1990.

16:12 I got it supposed to go in 1991.

16:29 Then we went for a different time of year. Do you want for five or six years? Probably then went to Bill Walton basketball camp to one or two season one or two years are there in a profound things for me with my life. I want to make sure we moved but we were going to Barton College and we got lost.

16:53 At my ideas you keep driving straight ahead. Now. That might be my Marine Corps training or I actually do trust the person in front of me knows where I'm going. If I follow them they'll get where I want to be. I may not where I should be there where I want to be good enough, but you stop a car sit. Let's go back to the last place. We knew where we were and I thought that I would have never thought of that. I was just really I do I just kept going on till I ran into something I knew which may or may not happen. So both my wife and I still use that expression that the person in front of us knows where we're going and all these years and it still has applicability because even with GPS did you get lost about that?

17:49 Dirk gently vs. Holistic Detective

17:53 Aside. Yeah and also

17:57 I was going to ask about the kids at the basketball camp when you hear the word basketball camp you think about, you know, something that has 12 basketball players, but I don't think you would gag rise omega as a basketball camp. I think you could explain that. I Heart Institute for holistic studies in Rhinebeck, New York.

18:30 Joe Jackson's is known to be a Zen Buddhist type kind of guy in the camp was people came from all over United States and when you and I joined a band meeting for 45 years that thing and you and I write like Outsiders been there a new each other and she was young I think space was just basketball hoops. Life imitate basketball rules basketball imitate white reminder that backwards and so he just was philosophically talked about basketball and why the thing always struck me he tried to teach us the triangle offense, which it took the Chicago Bulls for years to earn and he was trying to teach him to us about an hour to guys who didn't know the difference between a a screen and a knocking somebody down.

19:25 So when I left here playing a little bit of basketball, I think the Bill Walton basketball camp a few years later because he rented like a like a camp Easter egg shooting foul shots of the people who missed the fat people came in last at do push-ups or sit-ups then they had ran what a fast break drills and fun to be around people who is very open and honest about what is on the NBA until some great stories.

19:56 I do have to mention one thing. I pray I didn't tell you a story before the first year that the basketball camp was Bill Walton and Bill had his fiance at that time wife was there and I was up to Donny home checking people into you for lunch and she came out and said I'd introduce myself. It's just a bill says you're a good basketball player.

20:20 And so am I when I left there after lunch I'm home with what's the phone wasn't called my sister and told her that did Bill Walton says a good basketball player number is books, which I know you have as well and actually my son and he says he's my new

20:50 Inspiration or something but the guy was an amazing. I mean when you when you read about the sports Personality like that, I mean he had success with the Chicago Bulls. You really don't know him as a person. We got to know him as a person. We got to know his wife at the time and he has in boys you had a daughter that played with his 1-year. I mean, it was really just an f on it was just a long weekend and I think I went for 7 years and it was actually on my my anniversary weekend. Happy anniversary on see you because you left your wife the anniversary much like member-to-member Kevin Heath what he showed up at 1 near his his wife the bottom as a gift for their wedding anniversary blade.

21:42 The Weeknd the next next year we get back in his divorce yeah. Yeah, we was always start the camp the same way we don't have to circle the only in one of the Huts there and people would just help me out there do some self saying a little bit about themselves and it got I mean everybody was so they are we would see him over the five six seven years you were there and I remember Phil just saying one time can we keep this to an hour, It was really fun to hear about people that you know, you only saw it once a year and then they had Will Smith about themselves and it was a great time. It was a great, roddery and basketball and

22:31 And I was beyond basketball 47124 for 5 hours. Anyway, the walk back to the cabins to stop the hill was not a fun event for people our age.

22:55 You know original.

22:57 Reduce yourself as Bob and now you call yourself. When how did you get the name when I mean, when did you take that up? Why'd you take it up Elsa little bit about that goes back to you. Of course, September 1993. I was single at the time and I was talking to you and Sherry after lunch. By the dining hall at the American stood for holistic studies.

23:27 And I was lamenting the fact that the last five women I dated seem to have some issues and we're a problem that

23:34 And I think you said the profound words the time that you'll said the five women and you what's the common thread?

23:44 And that was September 93. I was in therapy in January 94. What do I program and the same day or same time frame on you? And Jerry how much I enjoyed being a mega that I was working that's retired. And you suggested I should work at a BAC of so, I went down got myself a job application and luckily got harder next year do the work. So there's now it's 94.

24:14 I've been doing some ancestry.com study and I found out there's a couple times in my family's history were a something married to Harper and they name their first male child something and then a shyrock married to Harper name their first child Chiraq Chiraq Harper.

24:37 And I always thought winter seemed a little pretentious and so one July afternoon in the parking lot to see Mega Institute for holistic studies where I was delivered luggage or high pressure job and talking to some little 20 year olds. Tell my story. That's what Imma said or we can call it a win.

24:56 And so since July July July 1994. I've been called when which is caused Great confusion among my friends because well a little bit of fall out to that story. So yeah, we didn't know you had changed your name to win and Jerry and I are in a van or a cabin and we were talking to the driver and we said we were going to the back while camp and suizas. I do. Yeah, we have a spot Camp I said you said his name is when he's an ex-marine and we just explode I mean they exploded in laughter and end table nightstand and the other eight people says what's so funny about that.

25:54 We didn't explain that it was it was a perfect introduction to the name change. If you told me about 10 years with my sister now called you went finally Menchie's.

26:16 When she's mad at me, she called me Bobby.

26:20 Besides the basketball I've always been impressed by the fact that you do such great volunteer work. You were something Philadelphia call financial help people you and keep kids in school. In Mexico even I know you don't have it at the command cuz you're not to death together from your family or just the desire to contribute. Where do I come from?

26:54 I think it partly came from my family my my father certainly though. It was a volunteer he use a treasure for the fire department for 25 years or something ridiculous.

27:08 The it really most of my volunteering came after a retired. Nobody thinks about this. Nobody tells you about it. But when you're you're looking into this retirement date you looking forward to it. You worried about finances you finally get the retirement date and then a tree you realize wow. I got a lot of time I might have to fill out a I did was I'm in you hope you enjoyed the first one I got involved in was it was called new music musicians on call it was from a local Philadelphia radio station. Wxpn. I thoroughly enjoyed the station, you know everything they did they did last service think so.

28:08 Start this program the first time Philadelphia it originated in New York, New York City.

28:15 And was basically to go to hospital beds with musicians to play one-on-one on so I can program guide 10 hospital is a shelf for buildings interconnected so we can go to for five different floors. And why would I was aware of how to navigate to the hospital and go into the individual rooms that are cancer patients a long-term cancer patients serious relationship. They are awesome from outside the area that go in the room and just introduce myself talking about the program and just say we would love to play for you. And yeah, they would say yes or no

29:06 Very first time I'll never forget so and this is the program is supposed to take people away from their everyday struggle against has The Big C cancer and music. So we went into an epileptic area of the hospital. She was Matt brletic came in the room and there's two people there. They Lori still remember her name and I don't know if it was a brother or husband and their family member whatever in so we talked to the family member and said that I would you mind free play some music and he said fine.

29:51 He left the room. So Lori is frantically going threw a fit and she's like thrashing and so we started playing and it seemed to actually get worse. And so the magician kind of looked at me and said we should we continue I shrug my shoulders and said, yeah and continue playing in the mazing thing was she went from a radically thrashing to perfectly and time with the music. Oh, wow program talks about, you know Down music to your soul and if that wasn't a demonstration of the program

30:37 I mean, I was literally almost in tears I said this is amazing and out. I think that was if not the first the first night or the first page and I saw so I mean you really become committed and you see a lot of your people I'll just tell one of the story so sometimes you come into the room and they think they say, yeah, I don't want you to play and we came in this one's wrong and I always get to sit around talk to him. And so I saw a Phillies, I'm sorry. I didn't Eagles fix your memorabilia. They say do your fan. She said, oh, well, my husband was an Eagles fan and he actually died during the 2004 Super Bowl when the Eagles were playing the the Patriots.

31:37 So right and she she said, you know, he survived prostate cancer heart conditions, but he couldn't survive the Eagles. There's always a story taking pictures of dogs.

32:03 Well, I volunteered for this it was a animal shelter and so my job is to take pictures of dogs put them on petfinder.com and to hopefully get a new owner of my first day. There was the only day my wife came with me and I was taking it was raining outside, you know, I might take him outside. So I was inside and I was taking a picture of the dog and I was actually behind the dog and I had the couple more pictures to take the dog abruptly ended the a photoshoot by biting into my arm and not let it go. I picked up my heart and the dog was still hanging out my arm. I learn to be a little more observant.

33:00 Little signals that you're not hitting a dog is irritated with you, but it was all good. I got a couple shots. You've always made things such an adventure. I remember when you and Darcy went to New Zealand you sent us a pictures, which do I open up the email that the pictures are there, I guess because you two are bungee jumping off a bridge somewhere in New Zealand right that

33:32 Yeah, I'll tell you Wednesday. Yeah, we figure we do it as well. We were there with a group that was a soiree ganesan and that the group actually said we've never had anybody actually do it. We usually just watch other people.

33:49 Well, I guess those are just both your boys are launching the bridge and I just remember I decided I live in gas, but I'm so to pick up the phone. I got me like Anyway habitat.

34:07 Well it like you after I retired and I and I retire at 48th and it's always interesting knew you when I was in the Marine Corps and you're getting older and it's 4647. The Marine Corps is pretty old and you're thinking it didn't you retire than you.

34:24 Figures I gave you died or something on with my concept was the tool that was

34:30 What's 38 - 28 years ago now for 29 years ago since I retired?

34:38 Doing helping people so cuz it didn't ring for serving and I got volume habitat down and

34:47 Huntsville, Alabama and then

34:51 Summer long. That was a 95

34:56 Play 94 99 to 93 New York State's or somewhere. And then I saw something for Habitat one do volunteers get down and worked out in Jacksonville Beach Florida. And so I joined the team diners like 10 of us went down her back was to Fastenal down there and I really enjoyed it and I think the next couple years. I warm my own team and then after that I stop warming can't I just contacted you gym Hurlburt?

35:36 Did Barbra Streisand go down?

35:41 John's on iser was a different year. Yeah, we're kind of guys who work working at heart that time and you're down here in Jacksonville Beach carrying Lumber lifting OSB and and saw and stop and move around on a mirror. You see on by Wednesday. We're pretty tired and I got her one year were the condo we're saying and we all went back there were sitting around the old got to be her and I think it's time to get another beer and I think I offered anybody $5 who do the refrigerator and get me a beer hard to walk in my own beer the way I believe You by Queen with me. I don't think I took I don't think that was enough money to do it.

36:41 Spending time with you and Jim was precious because of the way it was being with people were successful life and we're contributing it and I especially liked working with the homeowners down there. I just watching them most of her single moms.

37:04 Couple kids working two jobs three jobs and build her house and you see the look on her face or they're getting something which they earned. It wasn't given to him and not a handout us a hand up type. Guess what they have at SS and contribute like that to somebody's life is is is very gratifying to be I noticed you too and that we talked about that a lot.

37:31 Amazing people I met a guy down there who made a lot of money in computers.

37:37 And he work for volunteer for Habitat, and he basically said any any child who lives in a habitat house to graduate from high school.

37:47 Will pay for your four years of college at the University of North North Florida, and I truly believe that you

38:04 That's so Delphia Finance. It keep kids in school. You redo made a lot of contribution. So knowing that and I always got some kind of signal. What do what do you think your legacy? What do you what do you want to be known for your daughter? You know, he's a great job race your daughter whose very successful like to have her know about you that she may not know.

38:35 Hard work. I mean my father taught me this hard work and a good attitude will take you a long way. So I don't get depressed with any of the bumps you go through in life. We all do it. Stay positive. Don't be a complainer. You know, I mean, we all complain if that's natural, but I don't know I think that it's better to focus on the positive and there's always positive there. I mean environment right now. There's so much negative everyday. Sometimes you just have to turn it off turn off the news and but habitats are volunteering taught me good friendships. Those are the strengths of who I think I am and hopefully daughter and grandkids will

39:31 And see me that way and see themselves that way.

39:38 When I asked one of the things I eat I want to say about you. When is it? I've always admired that me you you said early on, you know retired lieutenant colonel marines that creates a certain image the most people but you change your name, what would you didn't mention that you wrote a book currently being a singing career? You constantly Reinventing yourself, and I've always admired that about you and it's totally against any person's image of a proceeding even in your current home. And you've affect a lot of people's lives.

40:34 Appreciate with Dad and I know you're proud of that. I got a friend of mine to Mega and sometimes you'll forget names and she said then she straightens his whenever I forget Wednesday my always think the teddy bear Marine teddy bear Marine. I kind of like that in our friendship and certainly Darcy and I are great friends for you and Elizabeth and wish we had more time to talk about how you meant it literally this but the domino effect you got me to a mega I met Elizabeth and spent 15 years are as I told him I left a mega after 15 years that says I've had a great time. I've been a life coach.

41:34 A lot of things I'm leaving here with a wife.

41:41 I'm still people don't believe he's married to me. I know that it's not true. I love you man. Thanks for the time. We spent together and hopefully many many more years wedding anniversary to solo regulations and she says it's been great. Great time my friend. I love you, and I hope you have many many many more years together.

42:27 The one one famous phrase I'll just leave with this the that you didn't mention send your book. I just re-read portions of your book ask for what you want. That is very powerful and Darcy uses it all the time. You said, you know, the things I like people to know would be hard work and everybody know who's been.

42:57 Whatever success is defined as at least happy of work hard and I always knew I got a little thing here and I think it came from Wayne Dyer. I don't know I have my window here says be kind and I remind myself that.

43:14 Almost everyday cuz I think I should talk about what's going on in the world for God's sake behind me right now.

43:31 But that's okay. Alright. Thank you.