Donnell Graves and Kelvin Powell

00:07 Hey, my name is Donnell Graves.

00:11 I'm 61 years old is Thursday, January 1st 2021. My location is the Dorchester section of Boston. My conversation partner is a Kelvin Powell and he's a friend of mine. So that's our relationship. Go ahead Kelvin. Hi. My name is Dan Howell. I am 50 years old. Today is Thursday, January 21st, 2021. I am in downtown Boston in the Fenway Park area actually at work at Fenway Community Health Center work for the research Department Fenway Institute, and I am a good friend and colleague of Darnell Grace.

00:57 Kelvin it was a fire that I will go first, but I ain't know you was that old. Oh my goodness. Where do I go? I'm excited to do this because even though I've known you for a while. Over 10 years or whatever, but I really really don't know you so I'm so excited about this. You did say that you was born in Mississippi. Yes. Yes. I was actually actually I was born in Chicago, but I grew up in Mississippi Mississippi really moved in Boston Back in Black and 96-97. But before that and then I laughing and I came back in 2000 and 2007.

01:57 Okay, but let us decide to be in Chicago just you two oldest sister at live in Chicago. So she grew up in a housing projects at Chicago on the south side. And I think we all My Grave by my mom's family my mom's her but her her mother is free from Mississippi from Meridian, Mississippi. Now you think she works for she was a you think about the help the movie The Help that that same geographical area is where my grandma is where my grandma my grandmother my Monday. I miss miss Letha Dolores. That's where she grew up in and she raised both and fact we on my mom's a twin. She had a twin and then she had the oldest sister. So my mom live with her older sister until she was sick, and then she moved back to my my father's place called Lucedale, Mississippi now.

02:57 For the Gulf Coast part of Mississippi. And so I grew up there in that area until I graduate from high school in 1988. I don't know nothing about the topic. But if you know what I was telling people you for the mindset and and call your life and it's it's I eat whatever I want to tell everybody that I'm from Mississippi. They're like, well, I've never been to Mississippi one like okay. Well you have a better why would you go to Mississippi? Right? Because it's it's like, you know what I've done live in to M State. I live in Mississippi in Massachusetts and it is so important to know the different and it's buried up to I lived in the past. But also I lived in at work. It's a state that doesn't care if we were I remember I remember one in one thing. We never went in teenage pregnancy going.

03:57 Had to go so I have to go to a a weekend kind of retreat to talk about sexual care because I think they're model was you don't have to miss it wasn't even supposed. That's not talk about sex. Yeah, that's not what we know. You're not happy or you got to wait till your married, you know, and so when you when you live in a big red state does not even asking for funding don't even asking for you do this type of work you you suffer so I knew you know as I do at a early age that I you know these people and and and it's sad because you also in a town that you just don't see growth. You don't see it. You know, you see a lot of this there are also you don't see at least a lot of people live in that saying Circle and so if you have a six or eight grade education and you don't move outside of that, you know, are you getting a really, you know Taste of society know, you know, I Hunger for More so I knew that you know, once I did my time I there was other places but saying all this my mom was also she was a black teacher through the first box.

04:57 In the school, so you saw her coming in as an educator as a teacher, they respect their and so it was and it was it was pretty great. Cuz even right now I look at you know what my mom has done so that I told that Village but Lucedale she definitely raise the Villas cuz you say a lot of the kids and then and then the mom they remember if my and they remember her because again when you are someone that is is a part of the community you can help grow that Community but I have but you know, I knew there was more to me because I wasn't just black. I knew you know, I knew I needed, you know understand my gave my dog a piece because I was like, you know what it was. It was tough for me being black. You know, my start my best friend was this guy Jerry Goff and I was best man his wedding. You wouldn't he was we both were in band together with a banging. I play trumpet and baritone a French horn, but he was a drummer. I thought we were always get in trouble stuff together. Well he told

05:57 Direct me to labor force wedding that they had to move churches because I was in the wedding in his wedding. The deacons did not want this person of color to be in the church and it was a First Methodist Church to his family moved that to make sure I take me somewhere else. You know, what somebody else were suspicious characters riding in car until I met you and so and so and so getting this was white guy. He's like what I'm sorry that you had to go through this stuff, but he saw it firsthand because he's like, this is what happened to me unless I'm with you.

06:35 What like how you keeping it real? Cuz a lot of people when they come from a different state that they always want to say. It's a great place and you can't say nothing bad about it cuz I heard about me and I don't like this man. You know, what I wouldn't be a who killed in what if I didn't have that piece, right? Because I knew I Hunger for More and I knew I was like, you know what I need to get do what I need to do. So, you know what? I always tell them that you know, thank God I was you know, I had the sense of understanding that imma do my time here I'ma stay within that, you know, Tennessee to I'm not going to stir up a lot of things because you know, there was a lot of the stairs you didn't have grow. I didn't see any people of color especially around in the circle that I grew in doing anything other than you do in a shipyard which was the the blue collar, you know that the top to your job, but that was something

07:35 The eighties and then once that dries up, there ain't nothing else there. You had a Hunger for More. What did you get that little bit of educated? So I think she's educated even what is going back with my grandma, you know what Madea she and and her and her daughters. You know, what I do have a couple of man, but it was about the women it was about to make a treehouse in my life. You know that I saw them, you know, Duke and get and so I was like I want and you know it and I need and I knew I had to do something and I know that if I want to get outside the box I had to make sure opportunity to make opportunity. So what was what was Dow look like my friend that we went we went out and we lay down the street you did. You did. But you think about the disparities.

08:33 Sexual you had said yeah, you have certain areas. So schools you had the majority with a black with my like my mom is funny people didn't really know. My mom was my mom because she Todd and new in this white area of suburbs and I she taught in downtown Lucedale. So people are really know that we were in that we were connected. It was kind of good because I didn't want you know, you never want to know, you know, people don't know who your mom is is happening to be labeled a teacher's kid. I started playing a trumpet and 6th grade and now and I went out to play trucks but you know again growing up down south you knew that people just didn't like it. You know, what childhood bad tell who my father was there, but he wasn't there but likely his family was there goes my so I remember if a cat fact

09:33 His his father was the what do the Deacon of a church that we went to and so he would make sure I would come to Sunday school and come pick me up and drop me off whether my dad was you know, there are not it was a spy for you know, the family one that you like about that his dad and his brother is really it you know that I picked up the ball where he dropped it on my mom. She's always been there are those ladies have I have nothing but respect you know for what they you know, what they gave to me by yourself Yo down south, you know, you had these feelings. I used to have somehow we found these magazines and these magazines. I was the whole I was the holder of the magazines and so it was like a four or five different ones and so my friends are come over and you know guys, you know, you want to go do a couple you got those magazines help me up at so we would go grab the magazines and play board the hustlers and all those things and grab them and you know, we would do that.

10:33 When did you see that you like? Well, and you say you're ugly and you just doing what guys do but you know, I knew that I felt a little different and so it was a you know, but you know, where was just so you know a s a i was I was happy to have those magazines. Let's just say that it was a busy. It was and it was right and then we had HBO real sex kind of came out as well to show you the different alternative way then if not turning things but you know again, it's going down south. When you live in such a conservative view. They ain't talking about they talked about having you have first teenage pregnancy of kids that are 12 13 year olds that are having kids. And so and so and then they did not give him his kids, then I guess they're not giving him sex education. They're talking about abstinence.

11:25 What are those stupid and so and so and so and so you have a kid what they got a new thing I go stick their you-know-what in in the first person, you know, so we do as boys we did you did what you did. Do you have sex with a girl to actually actually saw I had I have you ever met. You know, I had I did what I had to do this, you know sleepovers that you had that you know what that shitt you things happen and it was more just enough padding and touching, you know, when a now and then but it was I knew I'd like that and it was something that was that I wanted to explore more but I knew you know again your location to drink Africa was very clear. So I had to against a tenant to cuz I wasn't going to go outside of that. So we're using the South you never fully experience to gain as far as coming out and being with the man.

12:25 Graduated from high graduated from high school and then I went to get my first I went to the junior college call Jones junior college and I was able to go to Europe and got it. Yeah, I got the same thing and some great hall than and Canterbury Hall Westminster average Notre Dame. Yes, but also I met this one was one guy that I can a Wii channel fell for each other and we stay with host family so him and I was wearing a bunk mates as we stay with this two-week tour. And so, you know, we spend a lot of time together, but that was my first really interactions to my did I felt yeah really passionate horse. And so it was it was a really interesting feeling but

13:11 You know, but also he couldn't do anything because you know again he was he was really not happy with who he was and also he he felt that he was he was also a he was also adopted so he felt that he had to get his pamalee kids. And so he really strike, you know that this relationship once we got bad because I wanted more and it was like we tried for a little bit and then and then there I didn't tell you how small my town is there was this one kid that was from my hometown. I remember his name. His name is Scotty Scotty Carpenter and he was very he was an artist but he was very very expressive Essay with who he was and he and I really was jealous cuz I couldn't be like that as I really went and saw him and I went out on a couple of dates and then somehow we got back to my mom. And so she was you know, she knew that this person was, you know, I was gay and so she knew she was kind of interesting.

14:11 Kelvin hang out with him. But but more importantly it was It was kind of the first time she kind of confronted me and said, you know, what what's going on here and what?

14:21 You came out Alberta than play. She came out. I was bringing my clothes back. She came out and said what what's going on? And I at first I was I was like I don't you know, I was like, I don't know what you're talking about his sister, but it was it was important for you know again, I I was at comes to win again. I was doing it on the DL but but small town hunting people come back. I don't care how far you go and she but you know what but I think that relationship with him really got me to understand that we all come in shape and sizes in several i i group through that but yeah, that was interesting, because she you know, I think when she came to me and told me that it was it was something that well but she also said, you know, I love you and you're my friend that's good with this woman and went and when are they doing?

15:21 That I got from her cuz I cuz you are you still being a part. I told you reason I was being a part of that study the feasibility study looking at sexual. He was a black man. No sex men not everybody got an experience or I could even have that conversation. Right? I mean, you know to black diamond tester swelled up the boy that says you're going with all black. There are my my hood my end of my guys are we hanging out and then I had an hour and then In-N-Out, you know again just living life, you know, I ain't going to school you been I did a lot of music stuff so you can have began to expand your your understanding but we can still live in Hattiesburg at University of Southern Mississippi. You've heard of breath bar and all and that's cool face. Cool that Bret Hart went to who's up football cuz your people know that is

16:21 Play the day all types of rights when I had you know, I know you know what love is love and I just got unpacked and I know I don't know what to do me. I don't mean I want to see other things. I want to go to I want to do something. I want to see things but also we are only here for a minute. So I want 32 Flavors and then something happened in 1997 and a half years. I met a guy there and we were kind of dating for two years and so it was like

17:21 I came and visit West Newton and I fell in love with just a culture of Austin and I remember coming out and I went out to machine but there's also another a club here and I was just like amazing and I know and that's why I'm like, okay, I need to I move it. You know, I'm getting it was cuz I knew again living in New Orleans really help me grow as a person because it's really only that down south you have Atlanta, but you have New Orleans and New Orleans just the city. Not that not that not the state of Louisiana just New Orleans. It really gave me a sense of humility and tell him but I saw I wanted more, you know, it's because I was like, I need to leave the city cuz I drink too much.

18:10 Boston about the weather all the time, but I do love the culture. I love the energy. I love that. I like the diversity of thought that if you have a constant flow our phones coming in, but also I just love how people love Boston and so and you know and Boston gives me just enough up the New York New York to my boss and gives you just enough you can get Jesse's Quality of Life by living a boss and I think compared to look at New York so that I don't like it so far. So I'm glad it's you and I really appreciate I love the diversity there cuz I got a backyard I got a deck I can go out and Grill I can go still and I'm right on a t line which is a train line. And so it's important to have that connection. But yes.

19:10 Cambridge, you know, I didn't have that. I mean I have the I had to diversity as far as like, you know at Harvard and he and and a mighty but you know, I think really happened I diversity of folks living in right now just really helped me just appreciate boss anymore. And I didn't working at Fenway also during your working on those studies that that feasibility study guide look at sexual behaviors that black man who is Richard rahl to sit down and ask a person about their sexual behavior and then just them to unpack and tell you the stuff, you know, so is so important because I think a lot of time specially right now, we just need to start on packing her stuff that we hold you much. Aunt too much stuff and it's currently we're doing I'm doing when they covid-19 studies. We just finished to AstraZeneca.

20:10 Research papers and do some stuff. I've been director of Health Equity for American Heart Association. I work on this. I've been a part of a I don't look that tired of looking about me being a part of the community and being part of the change cuz you can have a title if you ain't doing the work out there and understand if you're not doing what needs to be done and it's so important for us to be at the table, you know, so important for me to have those questions to import for you to be out there like being part trial one of the great things I like about this is that they want to make sure they got 25% of people of color and a $65 because the first time I move it or are you single are you dating?

21:10 You know what? I'm just got Love Me Myself and I just wait and I have moms also is going through she's had some health issues. So, I really have Focus my energy on making sure she has to know the time and energy right now, but they're going to ask you if you know, you know and might and if I have a my brother, so I really have had that check that box off, you know about appreciating life and being party to change like me working here at Fenway and being a part of that study. I really needed to be you know it help me understand who I was but also I'm packed some of the spirit is that we have to deal with in life and you know, I find a place where I can really just you know shine at being made cuz it you know, what was the great thing about Fenway they looked at

22:10 They say okay this person first of all, he's a person of color that the community understands him for me being a part. I started I got to go back to Mississippi and talk about the disparities all but also come with knowledge that that I had been a part of national study and edited it and it works because you know, I'm not just a white doctor coming in. I am a man that's from that area that's able to come in. So it really it really unpacked, you know, and it has make it really, you know, tell the true story you realizing your voice making sure you're part of that the beginning stages of that and understand that you know, you do have a voice and it is important for us to be a part of your future goals any future goal. We think you might want to be a part of this 1930 and so it's in a we just finish this up we've been able to you know, get this this phase 3 clinical trial going and you know, and we got 240

23:10 People within 10 weeks, you know, it's important. We looked around racial in a boundaries my community awareness. So I make sure that those numbers look right, you know, so I can it be in there being part of the change to be happy out black gay men. Is that correct? Yes or yes. Absolutely. Yes, honey. It took a lot of tickets at the Abyssal it took a lot to understand that. You know what we have to be part of changed. I love I sing about to get his cars as well to that's one of the things that I do and I've done for the last 12 years music is always played a great part of me. And so it's important if you want to do it do it out there doing in the universe and it'll make it out of my having problem with your sexuality if you have a fight it or was it understand if I had to grow into it. I had to grow into it. And also you have to love yourself. You have to be in an environment where you able to appreciate yourself and love yourself and express.

24:10 And love yourself. Why did Christian I knew I knew there was one of the place where the reasons I will say. I grew I I mean I I Grow Up Down South but I grew as a man when I came to Massachusetts cuz I was able to see, you know, the South band that had you know, people that wear black why didn't care they were walking down the street with their partner. I'm like what is going on here, you know, cuz that's just that's just an unsafe and and nobody's not going to accept me or not going to know if it was like coming from that as as as Elementary as that sound. I was right. I was like, okay I can grow here. What about family your family accept you for who you are being gay? Well, actually well because I'm out. I'm out smoking guy, but they also I tell her I got the the pretty Powell is syndrome. Whereas whereas you know, what they understand, you know, we are I think there's one person in your family that you know it

25:10 That tells.you Kelvin, you know what you're going to get, you know, kick push you in the right direction, right and so much like my uncle to let you know whenever you can go over here, you know, I can get three or five ten don't don't go down this street. You know, I had those thriven people in my life. So those those those those leaders that push me towards, you know, doing better and made sure that you know, they were in those bushes when I thought about going to do that later. I'm not I'm not here, you know, so it's important so I you know, I honor those things It's always important for us. It's important for the you to listen to the elders because they have a constant knowledge. It took a village to raise this child so I can we need to be their billets where the kids right you could be a role model for a lot of young black gay men who are struggling with sexuality. You can be a positive role model for you and let you talk, but you do can talk in about me. Now that talking to you now, I no more thank you so much and I find you a story very fascinating and amazing.

26:10 You're awesome. I like that. We have these different as I said these different hoods. We have to go into an depending on where you're at. So I'm like, you know what I need to do me 10 to 12 and 18 twice on Sundays all day every day and just make sure that your your voice is her but also it's cuz I ain't no different than any other straight men. Thank you. Thank you so much for flipping the script. You're wrong. Tell me your story. I would love to know your your path to Boston and Emma and what brought you here at the bar that I was born and raised in there you go. There you go. I was born and raised in Boston. I don't know anywhere else. I never wanted to live anywhere else. I think boss is amazing my mother and father.

27:10 South is get away from all that that Jim Crow bull crap, you know, where can I get my mother and my father is the South Carolina and they met in Virginia. They had my brother then and then they said they want to get away from what's going on down there. They moved to Boston and then it had me here. So I've been here my whole life and I'm not going I think Boston is amazing and I soak my feet a brother like you who likes Boston about me so many did Mother play some Kidz. Bop is notes do people say that because they only want to date black men. That's a problem. You'll like me out. They'd anybody I don't care play honey. You got to make a decision. I see people as people, you know, but lot of folks looking for black men and they said,

28:09 So they hate Boston. There's two white with President. Come all black area down south somewhere about telling your experience. Like how many brothers do you said? You're up. You're the middle child youngest only got one. What so when did you feel that? You knew that? You were like men to have sex metal Barbie 6 years old. I know the guy. Me more warm and hot and bothered was very honest. I always knew and I always accepted it. Okay.

29:09 How would say I'm a house family for a while with Mom and growing up in this area during that time and you express with where you said you were pretty expressive on your feelings.

29:19 Be back in them days when I was growing up my family or the community didn't talk about getting it. Nobody telling me that it was wrong. I tell you I'm getting kids nowadays. The big difference was gay marriage is on the news. So you hear the conversation that you can table. I didn't find out until I got older maybe like six grade or to school. Okay, and you're dead you like guys still bash you in the head call you all types of parent keep this to myself.

29:57 What up, I forgot I kept it to myself cuz you know, you people have two sides you people getting violent, you know, if I kept it to myself but I always me always proud of it and always happy with that. But I only want the violence in the in a crap that comes with being out that's real that's around wild. So so when would you say to have you had my first experience like that guy? They were like, well, I remember that first time, you know, you know, you have these little swing your six-year-old you have these, you know, you knew what was happening. Can you turn Xpress that first time in today just have the magazine during that time Papa Was a 70, you know, you have to Playboy magazine, but then finally they have a deal magazine.

30:47 If I wore a plague of I stole that from the store, you know, it's like this and I was enjoying it didn't enjoy myself and I did have sex with someone to 19 and everything is like I was not a problem blessed. I had a very good job, but my childhood was a plus and I had a I was raised by a single mother and she was awesome. She was she was off the chain off the hook knife.

31:47 Call Beto children love on me and my brother always remember to a sleepover with people that I want to be with y'all. Y'all ain't doing no sleepover was a plus I had no complaints no drama no drama. It was completely happy. She made me feel what you made me feel like I was somebody night, so I thought it was good. I grew up, babe.

32:32 On my world, my wall. I'm up I first allowed us more about the 6159 + 64 + 6 g of gold. I was just in love watching them on TV, right all their music and don't know my brother didn't understand the Temptations not understand that I was a nice.

33:22 Marvel Comics may not like DP tube of any mama and I got to junk it in the Black Panthers a new thing to the ainu black bear been affected by world baby. My mother comic book and The Supremes so I had no problem keeping a secret because I didn't want to be best. Obviously. Yes. I did you guys can stay in the Dorchester area in Canada. And did you look?

33:56 I was born I was Raising I was born in Roxbury.

34:02 We look the rock play my day with the Ruggles t station is.

34:06 Okay, we say that talk about maybe six years old and then we had to move cuz it's a highway was coming through the highway never came through know what the orange changed it to the only thing we have to move and we wind up going to the projects SF around the corner brownie heat with Jackson Square it so basically from 6 years ago.

34:32 Attila how to upgrade I was living in Bromley project

34:36 What's a what which was a good thing? Because first Rockefeller Street where I went to school at first, he was on the ground the white people with all the white people. This week will go on to school and I have blackheads in the projects. We're going to the same school. So I always been around white people song White friend always do a good white people. Why do people people people that's why I bought the date all Races to ask for those always children to play with and until this day for my childhood friend up to my friend today and mainly girls with my friend I want

35:36 I'm with the girls. The guy for the guys want to change them. They want to have sex with the girls in the hallway. There was all that Macho bulshit with the girls for the girls was doing the same thing. I like my boys. I want to deal with you. Are you a little different? You don't want to play football. You're not much else. You don't want to change the girls so I don't forget you. All right. All right. Have you add you have you had any in a serious relationship to a relationships that stand out in near courts of Europe?

36:27 So, like I said, we were going to Pride itself about 17, then we move the Dorchester to the same house that I'm in now everybody passed away my brother passed away my mother passed away at the house over to me. So but I say that made me six years I moved in 17. Do I have to leave them to deliver my gay? Like I couldn't live with my mother and my brother leader of the neighborhood, you know, he thought he was dead. They know he couldn't understand why I was why I wasn't like him.

37:20 The Weebly wasn't that close. Unfortunately, even though you didn't know you left the neighborhood to be yourself like so where'd you go? Anywhere you go. I'll blah blah blah first. Okay, I would have been way better move the south end after work if it happened. Then I moved to Cambridge for a while. Tell me why tell a little bit about why because people will know about those different areas have been way because everybody married with children in the girls like

38:20 Do in your Wild Oats to see you later. Okay, Auto model doesn't even know it was so so every weekend I was out there. Oh, yeah, and I was living in one thing I can say about me. I never had a roommate out always lived alone. Only time I live with someone was in a serious relationship or what I'm single the beat the beat the move by myself after having a brother where I really didn't care if I live with I can I get know I moved out by myself for a while.

39:20 I want to be in a relationship with God like 7 years of my life and I'm at the Piedmont. I'm going to type of braces. I'm going to be happy if I'm single or if I'm off I'm with someone I know relationship is going to be in charge if I'm happy or not. I'm going to be happy with Darkness, you know, if that's that's my thing then what's going on? I'll see you tomorrow. You going to wake you so what's your passion? What is your passion like right now? So we're right now what type of what type of work do you do now that that do you say you really get to express who down a list of my past but one of my passions is politics and I don't have my piercing is just volunteering helping people.

40:15 I want to stop at University. And also I want to know how many calls for a while to know what the sum of you and I and I majored in political science. The goal was to go about to be alone, but that didn't work out because once I got to them club, I'm not going back to school no more. I'm having a good job. I got time to study and crap so out what happened when I found a job. It was paid. Well if I took it the job of being a correctional officer

40:49 I'll shut up. You have a 23 years.

40:53 Shut up. I've lived all day to move out of my home and doors have to get my own place to pay was good. You know what the hardest part about the job with people find a maze my time. There was a white racist officers.

41:09 Really? Okay. That's why we picked out a lot of communities.

41:25 That's what cuz I went to Concord State Prison. Was it a white area? A lot of prison very white area and they hired a white people in the community.

41:35 To work in the prison and then they told me it was the first time ever worked with a black person, you know, if you don't play yeah. Yeah, we had black everywhere. But that's the white officer who's the most races in an abusing inmates the most them the ones that leave and go be police officers definition of a deal with so that was the hardest part about it, but also the flip side of that a black ops together and we reform the barn and to this day that some of my best friends for about 23 years and I retired a year off.

42:31 If I do nothing social life, I was not bored but then and then after a while I finally get another job in law enforcement which I do now right now right now. I'm a crossing guard last ticket person for the Brookline Police Department. I get my parking ticket and I and I crossed the kids in the morning. It's a job that job that love cuz I don't work with no one. I understand that you are a lot of camping or I can I yawn of campaign that we're going to presidential campaign course, I worked on this one. I worked on the Georgia one. I do a lot of bother Dearborn as you know, I socialize a lot I go out to all the games by be a part of the community.

43:31 Volunteer work now and right now I'm getting to the mayor's race.

43:35 Yes. Yes. It's is the such a great. You know what again. I mean Bit Bandit 21st after having such a great yesterday with the whole transition of power. And right now it's amazing and right now, you know, I always tell folks now we can see, you know, kind of Over the Horizon at Beacon of light that's kind of coming back and it's so important. It's so important. I broke a postcard by the phone banking provided as well as off off and walnut and I thank you. Thank you for the third eye. And again, I didn't know that you did those until we had it got deeper conversation about politics. I worked on a Democratic presidential campaign. I didn't I didn't support him. I supported the progressive candidate and remember the name now better when I support the progressive candidate we did so much good work.

44:35 The cost of Obama wants to work for Obama Hillary and my main one I had a big party at my house for her so she could go I see as a young child that politics can make a difference in people's lives after getting beat in the head with and carried all but I think the door maker change the law for make things better to have data and it's all about having the data to change to make those policies and then, you know, make those laws and so important and it's so important for you and myself too kind of continue to do the work. We do. I am so excited that you were able to share first because I I learned a lot about you that I didn't know about

45:35 You know I came out. I told my mother she accepted me like your mother. Did. I already knew nobody love yourself baby. You know, it's a make sure everybody else loves. You. Got to love yourself. Do you always say all my kids are first do you need to be friends? If you don't love yourself if you all messed up love yourself your number one and no one can take away my joy.

46:35 Say, all right, Thank you. Thank you, darling.