"Drugs do more harm to people around you than yourself" by Paige Anania
Recorded October 31, 2022 Archived October 31, 2022 19:07 minutes
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Hi I'm Paige Annia and this is the story corps project I'm going to be interviewing a person that had a relationship with a former drug addict. So, who is it that you're going to be talking about today. I'm going to be talking about my first cousin's husband. So. Your first cousin's husband what was he addicted to. His first addiction started about forty years ago he was addicted to cocaine and alcohol. So with his addiction of cocaine and alcohol did anyone find out about his issue.
He actually is a three time recovering addict. So going back to his first addiction. He married my cousin he was a great man and he actually did drugs before they got married so she was aware of it and she accepted the fact. When they got married they wound up having three children but his drug addiction remained. He then started to drink a lot of alcohol. At this point it was brought to his attention that he had a problem because he was denying that he did have a problem.
My cousin wound up moving out. And leaving him with their three children. Because she felt he needed help. And at this time he actually did go and get the help that he needed. So when the family members came to the realization that their loved one was suffering from addiction how did they feel like did they support him did they try and help. Well he was the love of my cousin's life she never stopped loving him but she felt she had to leave him because he was comfortable with the relationship he kind of felt she should accept it so I guess in a way you can say it was almost like a punishment in leaving you you need to get your self help and then I'll come back to you.
So he did go and he did get himself the help that he needed and they did wind up getting back together when he was one hundred percent free of drugs. So during his time using these drugs before he got better in terms of addiction what were some bad consequences that occurred weather that was involving him or his family. The first the first time of course he he he lost his three kids his three kids were were young at the time and they had moved away he was fortunate enough that he did not lose his job.
So I guess you could say that was a godsend because he at least was still providing for his family so. Once he got himself better my cousin did go back to him. And they sort of had a perfect relationship. Because they did love each other. They wound up moving to a different house. And they had an incident occur where one of their children had to be taken to the hospital. And. As my cousin drove the little one to the hospital. He in return. Drove himself to the nearest drug dealer to get himself some cocaine because that's how he wanted to ease his pain that his kid was winding up in the hospital.
So this came round two of his addiction where my cousin was now going to leave him again because of course having your kid in the hospital and your husband abandoned you because he's he feels the need that the drugs were going to take a more important role in his life. So she wound up leaving him again so bad consequences for him is once again he lost his family now his children are a little bit older so they're realizing that. Daddy's in doing the right things by mom.
So so yeah it was kinda sad and my cousin still said he was the love of her life. And. She always told him that she didn't love him but once again she was going to leave him because he needed to get himself better and one of these drugs because she didn't want to have her children being around somebody who was like that and it's not that he was abusive to her but the drugs just made him not be part of the family. Yeah. So. During his addiction. How does that affect like his work.
Well the second time. That he. I guess. Was addicted did he had a very good job. He didn't manage to always get himself to work. So addicting one addiction two who continued at the same job so it it does to him that he was still able to keep a job while having this addiction so his addiction the first time his addiction the second time he always managed to keep his job so he was able to provide for the family. Unfortunately it's the family he was losing because it was the family who was pushed aside.
And neglected so when he was at home he was passed out on the couch or at a bar with his friends. He was like a zombie when he was around the family who. On. So after his. Second rehabilitation if you will, had his life changed after that. After his second rehabilitation. What my cousin decided to do because like I said she still loved him. They decided to leave the state they decided to get a house in a different state to try to think of ways to get her husband away from his comfort zone where he used to get his drugs she figured if they went far away from it and he wasn't near it that.
That would at least help him it's a step they could take to help him because she did want to help him. Where she has to help want to help himself to so they did move out of state but this time my cousin's husband was sober. And. He was a perfect husband. We all loved him he was fun to be around. He was attentive to his kids he always went to work got raises when he was at work and made himself a nice little penny doing what he did. and my cousin.
told him. Because they wound up getting divorced after after the second time he had the drug addiction she divorced him. And she told him that if he would stay sober. That they would re marry one day that they would have a big beautiful wedding. And he of course wanted her to re marry him. But she told him that that was going to be a ten year deal that he had to be sober for ten years to prove that this is a marriage he actually wants. And lo and behold ten years went by and he was still sober.
He still had the same job making lots of money. And they had a happy perfect life. Did they ever have that big wedding no they didn't. Just regular life things had happened and they always kept postponing the wedding not that they weren't going to have a wedding but they kept postponing the wedding just for little things kids winding up going into high school playing sports all this stuff. And then what happened was my cousin's husband wound up blowing out his knee.
where he needed to have surgery. And unfortunately when he had this surgery after being sober now for about 13 years, the hospital after his surgery had given him a prescription for Oxycontin. And he became, you know, dependent on the Oxycontin. His prescriptions were only for a few. Um, and it was said, you know, that he had the previous addictions, so they didn't wanna give him too much medication.
But unfortunately, that little taste got into his system and trying to hide it as best as he could. He wound up finding other ways to get his prescription medication inside him. So he became addicted to the prescription drugs. Once he couldn't get the prescription drugs anymore, that's when he started back on your cocaine. Um, things like that.
And he did not tell my cousin any of this. Uh, she noticed him starting to act funny, but of course she was giving him the benefit of the doubt because he kept telling her that he was not on drugs again.
And unfortunately, his decision making now grew worse. He started to not go to work. He started showing up at work drunk or high on cocaine. So now it started to affect his job. He, um, crashed a car. Hmm. And was that while he was on Yes. Drugs?
He was on drugs. He crashed his car and it wasn't too far from the house where he ran home to my cousin and asked my cousin to go over to the car crash and say she was driving, um, because he was so high that he didn't wanna get put in jail, which she did. She said she was the one who was driving. Um, so what had happened after the third time is his work still on his side gave him the ultimatum that he needed to go into a drug rehabilitation center.
Now in the past, he never actually went into a rehabilitation center.
He always just went for private meetings that you would have a few times a week. This time he actually committed himself and he did wind up committing himself because his drug addiction the third time, besides him, um, having to leave his job until he received the help he needed, he also crashed one car. He took a loan against their house that they owned, free and clear.
He put that loan. He, he, he, he took a loan out on another house, but didn't tell anybody about it and wasn't making the payments on that. So he wound up losing all the money he put down on a second house. He wound up losing the house that they owned free and clear. So now everything that my cousin worked for was gone, was gone as well. She, she wound up with nothing except that she had to hurry up and get out of her house because it was foreclosed on.
And now she was left with nothing. So once again, my cousin packed up her stuff and left him. She moved to Florida, said she wanted nothing to do with him, and that is where she is to this day.
So at this point when they had to move, was their children aware of the situations?
The third time? Yeah, the third time when his, um, addiction came to play, his three children were, were already old enough. Um, they did not move to Florida. They all had their own lives going on. Now they were each married, um, and they resented their father, uh, more or less they resented him for what it did to their mother. Yeah. Um, because she saw how much their mom loved him, and they just couldn't understand why he would keep hurting her just for drugs.
Mm-hmm. , um, easier said than done. I am not a drug addict, so I don't know the hardships, but I could just imagine with an addiction that it, he probably didn't want to be addicted to 'em, but he just couldn't help it. Yeah. And my cousin did. She did see that. She knew that it was his sickness and she didn't just wanna abandon him.
So even though she loved him, she just felt this was a way she was going to force him to get the help that he needed. Um, so after the third time when she now had nothing and had to start all over again by herself, she had moved to Florida and she did. She, she started a new job and he called, he stayed back. He stayed back and he would call her all the time begging and pleading for her to take him back.
Um, he now had no place to live either because he lost everything on everybody. So what he wound up doing is he wound up sinking really, really low with her, leaving him, his boys, um, resented him for what he did. He lost his job unless he's gonna go to the rehabilitation. And he really sunk down low and he finally chose to go into the rehabilitation center.
Um, he was there for a very long time, um, and he, he came out clean. So it's been about maybe seven years now. And, um, we still see him and he's been clean. But unfortunately it was the last time my cousin chose to go back to him. So, I mean, it was a very bad consequence the third time because she will still say that he is the love of her life.
She just can't live with him. Mm-hmm.
. So, you know, it, it did have a, it didn't have your happy ending because he wound up being alone, but he's still sober for seven years. So it did have a positive outcome where, you know, he at least did get the help he needed at the rehabilitation center.
Does. He lost his whole family.
He, he lost his, his whole family. And, you know, he, he did actually get his job back because he did go to the rehabilitation center like they had requested. So they did stand by him. He had a great boss that was willing to work with him. So he did have his job, which that is a godsend because at least he had something that could help him, you know, have a purpose. Yeah. In life. You know, he's a good man. Just, just had a bad addiction that even though he was a good man, it caused him not to be a good man.
If you know what I mean.
Um, well thank you so much for your time. Um, it was a great story and I'm glad you were able to spread light on the situation, if that makes sense. But yeah, it's a tough story to be talking about former drug addicts, but it was well said, and thank you for talking about it with me.
You're welcome. Hopefully it'll be a lesson Yeah.
To Show that drugs, drugs do more harm to people around you than yourself. Sometimes you don't even realize that. So it's good to keep your nose clean, your veins clean. Yeah. Just live clean. Mm-hmm. . Cause Yeah. It, it does affect people more, more than you know, more than, you know. It's an ugly, ugly situation.