Ebony Clark and Braxton Parker

[00:05] BRAXTON PARKER: My name is Braxton Parker I'm 22 years old. Today is the 11th. I'm in Savannah. My interview partner's name is Ebony Clark and she's my mom.

[00:19] EBONY CLARK: My name is Ebony Clark I am 47 years old. Today's date is August 11, 2023, and we are in Savannah, Georgia. My interview partner today is Braxton Parker and he is my son. I can ask my question. Oh, okay. So my first question, Braxton is I want to know, why did you enlist in the Guard?

[00:53] BRAXTON PARKER: I wanted to do something outside of. I wanted to do something outside of being in Savannah. College wasn't my thing, so I wanted to try something else, so I tried the military, and I liked it.

[01:13] EBONY CLARK: Did you factor in when making that decision? Did you think of, like, what. What is my mom gonna think?

[01:22] BRAXTON PARKER: No, I just knew that whatever I chose, you would be okay with. You would always be by my side, no matter what I chose to do. So.

[01:30] EBONY CLARK: And that's. That's the truth. I was very proud of you when you enlisted. I wasn't surprised because of how when you were a kid, it was always something about the military. Every time I had to do something in your room, it had to be army fatigue, so something dealing with the Army. Something dealing. Like, you remember all of that stuff you had got from Tony, the box and the MREs and the book and all of that? And I was like, this kid's going into service. And I think at that time, you had to be like, in the third or fourth grade. And I was like, yeah, this kid's going into service.

[02:08] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah, I remember that.

[02:09] EBONY CLARK: Yeah.

[02:10] BRAXTON PARKER: All that stuff I got.

[02:11] EBONY CLARK: Yeah.

[02:12] BRAXTON PARKER: Going through all that stuff and looking at those patches and everything.

[02:14] EBONY CLARK: Yep. And I was like, I never really read the book. You never read the book? I didn't assume that you would. I just thought it was really cool that you was interested in it. And then, like, another thing that made me know that it would be something that you probably would take on is how you always like to help people and how you were always like, you. You're super smart, so your intelligence. I was like, he's probably gonna go be somebody on the COVID in the military. That's what I thought at the time.

[02:50] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah. I honestly did think about Special Forces. I thought it would be pretty fun. But I also didn't like the idea of having to be away from y'all for so long. For so long. So I kind of second guessed it, and then I ended up not doing it, just doing National Guard. That's where I've Been.

[03:09] EBONY CLARK: So how was your first day in basic? I think I asked you this before, but how was your first day in basic?

[03:20] BRAXTON PARKER: Well, got off the plane. Got off the plane, hopped on the bus. Bus took us, like, a whole bunch of different turns and stuff. I almost slept through the whole ride. But we got there, got off the bus, lined up, went into a little seating area, and they hand. They took our phones. And after they took our phones, they gave us a bunch of gear. Matter of fact, they let us make one last call before they took our.

[03:53] EBONY CLARK: Phone, and that's when you called me real quick, and you was like, hey, Mom, I'm okay. I. Immediately after I hung up that phone, I think I cried for about an hour and a half. Like, I had to go in the shower and cry. And I was like, it's gonna be a minute before I hear from him. I heard all these hard stories from people, and I was just like, I can't do this. Because, you know, you're my oldest, and for the first 11 years of your life, it was just us. And it was like having my best friend with me, also my son. So I wasn't. I had really bad separation anxiety from you because that was the first time that I had ever not seen you every day. And I was very nervous. Yeah. My separation anxiety was, like, through the.

[04:39] BRAXTON PARKER: Roof, you know, I was more at a place where I was okay with the separation.

[04:44] EBONY CLARK: For real?

[04:45] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah. Because I had been with you so long, maybe if I gained some space, we could learn to collaborate better.

[04:56] EBONY CLARK: Because I think the older you got, I had to stop looking at you through the eyes of being a kid, like, being my baby, quote, unquote, versus you growing up and being a young man. So I had to, like, venture into the space from parent to mentor, because I felt like after 18, I had already parented you, so it was nothing else that I can do. Every other decision after that was basically yours. So it was hard for me to, like, pull that string. So I can understand where you felt like the separation was needed, because, you know, you needed to develop more in your own mindset for. Versus me always being like, oh, Braxton no, you should do this, or, Braxton don't do that. And I think I was just used to doing that because I never got out of that space of you being my young child versus you going into a young man. So I think the separation was good. I just had a hard time with it at first because you was, like, my best friend.

[05:54] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah. I will say after, like, a week of being there, I Did start missing you a lot. I missed being home, but at the same time, I felt like it was a journey I had to take.

[06:09] EBONY CLARK: Braxton can you maybe say what are some of your favorite parts of home? And what did you miss most in that first week?

[06:19] BRAXTON PARKER: Honestly, I missed waking up late when I was. After I had left him. Being there, we had to do a lot, like, physically. We had a lot physically to do. That was supposed to, I guess, help workers mentally. Yes, But, I mean, it did those things. But at the same time, I kind of just wanted to be home. I enjoyed being able to do the things at my pace and being able to learn. Like, I wanted to learn instead of having to do it how they wanted it done, when they wanted it done. So I more so just miss my freedom.

[07:04] EBONY CLARK: You didn't miss me?

[07:06] BRAXTON PARKER: I mean, I missed you, but.

[07:07] EBONY CLARK: I know. I'm just teasing.

[07:10] BRAXTON PARKER: I miss my freedom, too.

[07:11] EBONY CLARK: Yeah. The ability to kind of flexibility every time. Yeah, I get that. I think one thing that was like a pro. It was kind of. It's kind of funny, but it's small. But if I was like, oh, we got leftovers, and that was like, something that was kind of like a pro. I was like, I could take lunch, but that was about it. Other than that, I think I. I missed your presence, your whole, like, how you. Good morning, Mama. And, you know, I said my little thing, who loves Braxton You say, mommy, and I say, who loves Braxton and Mommy. Yep. And I'm. I miss that, like, hearing that, I think, because I'm a mushy parent. Yeah. I like kissing and hugging on y'all a lot. So I feel like probably why Braylon was born, because God knew that eventually you would have to grow, and I still needed that sense of having a comfort. So Braille, I think Braylon was put came in order to fill that space so that I could give you your wings and then learn how to give you your wings. So when it was her turn, I was more acclimated to letting go.

[08:27] BRAXTON PARKER: Right. Makes sense.

[08:28] EBONY CLARK: Yeah. How was the food?

[08:40] BRAXTON PARKER: I. I put a lot of hot sauce in my food.

[08:43] EBONY CLARK: Seriously?

[08:43] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah, the food. I mean, I think the best thing I had was the yakisoba. Everything else, I mean, except for breakfast. Breakfast was good. When they gave us French toast, I learned that putting peanut butter on your French toast is pretty good too.

[09:01] EBONY CLARK: Okay.

[09:02] BRAXTON PARKER: Protein, pancakes. Yeah, all that stuff. Besides that, the food was pretty bland.

[09:10] EBONY CLARK: Oh, wow.

[09:10] BRAXTON PARKER: A lot of hot sauce. Spaghetti.

[09:13] EBONY CLARK: Everything for real. Hot sauce. And spaghetti also. Oh, wow.

[09:18] BRAXTON PARKER: I used a lot of hot sauce. At that time. I used to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, too. I was just trying to get as much carbs as I could at that time. I knew, you know, I gained more carbs, gained more weight. So I spent a lot. Whenever we went to eat, I would eat my fare.

[09:37] EBONY CLARK: You eat your fare? Yeah. I remember the first meal without you at the house, cooking and then saying, oh, I didn't have to cook that much. You know, I shouldn't have cooked as much. And I cried. I think everything was a moment for me. Like, not, like, seeing your clothes there, but not having to really wash them. Food or going to the store and getting something that you like that nobody else in the house like, and being like, oh, he's not even here to eat it. It was, like, an adjustment, but it wasn't bad. But every time I talked to you on the phone or when we got the permission to write letters, I think I might have brought. So I still got money left on that thing. Right. Because I was just like, I got about all of this time because I'm gonna be writing letters every day. And I think I kind of wrote you almost, because it was like texting. So I was able to write you every day, and it didn't matter if it was just, hey, Braxton just thinking about you, blah, blah, blah. It just felt like it kept me. It kept me close to you, connected to you. And I remember when you got your shin splits and you were, like, kind of upset because you thought they were going to recycle you, and you weren't in the best of moods, and even though I wanted you home, I knew that you needed to complete it, because I didn't want your spirit to be broken. I didn't want you to feel like you went and didn't succeed if they recycled you or sent you home. So I pray really, really hard. I think your grandparents and your aunts and all of us, like, we just prayed really hard for a miracle because he was like, we don't want his spirit to be broken. Yeah, because you sounded so down on the phone.

[11:27] BRAXTON PARKER: You know, even with the shin splints, at some point, I got so frustrated that I just ignored the fact that I had the shin splints, and I ended up just, like, my last PT test for me to pass and go on. I just. I. Like, I had to force myself. Oh, wow. It did bring me down, but at the same time, it frustrated me to a point where I knew I had to get past it. And then when they ended up putting the two boots on my legs, I. I wore those for, like, maybe a week before I decided I didn't want to wear them no more. And I was supposed to wear them for, like, two months. And I couldn't do it because I knew that it would stop my progress, and I didn't want to stop my progress. I still want to come home. I want to come home. And when I was supposed to come home, I didn't want to have to wait and be a recycle and do everything all over again. I knew when I was going home, and I wanted to be home, so I did what I had to do to get there.

[12:30] EBONY CLARK: Which is your character. This has always been your character system since you were a kid. Always very independent, so I wouldn't have expected anything less. Even though I thought you told me you were doing what the doctor said.

[12:48] BRAXTON PARKER: I did. For the most part. I. At some point, my legs really didn't hurt, so when I realized I didn't, I wasn't really feeling the pain. And my drill sergeant, he came to me and was like, where are your boots at? And I said, they inside the room. He said, aren't you supposed to be wearing those? I said, yeah. He looked at me, I looked at him. He went on about his business, I went on about mine.

[13:18] EBONY CLARK: Oh, okay. Well, that was. That was easy. So how. Okay, so when you left, you left right before COVID hit. So you left in January. I think Covid might have hit the end of February, beginning of March.

[13:37] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah. I remember when. That's when we were about to graduate, and they told us our parents weren't coming because of COVID Right. And we was like. As that was happening, we was looking across from us and seeing everybody else's parents and everybody else just there.

[13:52] EBONY CLARK: Whoa.

[13:53] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah. Everybody was having a moment, and I guess they had just graduated, so their parents was there. They were, you know, all enjoying their moment, and we were getting the bad.

[14:03] EBONY CLARK: News, and they were having a celebration. How did that make you feel?

[14:11] BRAXTON PARKER: Honestly, it just made me think that I would have to. It. It. It. What's the word? It made me have to lock down on graduating and getting back home because it made me know that I was gonna have to wait longer to see you. So you and Braylon. Honestly, Braylon was a big part of it.

[14:35] EBONY CLARK: Right.

[14:35] BRAXTON PARKER: And I use her for a lot of motivation.

[14:38] EBONY CLARK: Your sister?

[14:39] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah.

[14:39] EBONY CLARK: Seriously.

[14:40] BRAXTON PARKER: Really?

[14:41] EBONY CLARK: I think I remember one text message that she. She sent you, and she. I think that's when she found out about your shin splits and that maybe you were Going to have to be recycled. And she was telling you you could do it, Braxton I think I. I remember that text. And she was telling you that you can do it. Like, keep your head up. And I think she was, like, texting you, like, two, three o'clock in the morning. I was like, what? But you were on her mind, so, you know, I didn't really mind that because I knew that she was missing you a whole lot. Like, everything was about her brother. Her brother, her brother, her brother. So I was like, okay, well, you know, when he comes home, it's just going to be. They gonna be twinning again. And that's all I. You know, that kept me motivated to make me feel good that she had that relationship, that she has that relationship with you, and that you all could motivate each other. Like, in those times, I was really hurt about not being able to come to graduation. I cried, too. I think I was a water bag the whole time you was gone. That's the truth. I never cried so much in my life. Except for when I realized you was graduating high school and it was really over for us. Like, the dynamic duo was splitting up because you was growing up, and I just had to be looking on the sidelines, being your fan and rooting you on. So that was hard. But I had a watch party at the house when it was graduation, and I don't know if I ever showed you that video. Like, we was videoing the TV and we were all screaming in the background when we saw you there, and you came up to the mic and you was like, private practice. Parker Savannah, Georgia. He was like, you know, all at the house and everybody. There he goes right there. And I was like, that's not him. And then there he is right there. Boom, there he goes. And I think it's one video when you all were marching out, and it was my favorite cadence that I learned from that video. And you did a really sharp turn, and I was like, look at Braxton He looks good. We was excited to see you. We were very proud of you. I think looking over at your grandfather's face was the highlight for me because, well, you not being the first grandson of the second and him not having any boys, it was different. Like, seeing his. He was very proud. You could see all over his demeanor, like, his body language. Like, he was so proud of you. You know, he a crybaby, too, so he cried and he was like, you know, we were just so proud of you. And that made me feel really good because he doesn't have sons, and he. You know, the lineage basically, is like you and Jordan. So it made him feel. It made me feel really good to have that moment that he was still here, to even experience that moment. Seeing you do that, I really.

[17:44] BRAXTON PARKER: I never really. Like, I knew military was an option, but it didn't much come into consideration until he wanted me to go into jrotc.

[17:56] EBONY CLARK: Your granddaddy?

[17:57] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah.

[17:57] EBONY CLARK: Okay.

[17:57] BRAXTON PARKER: So when he told me he wanted me to join JROTC and I joined jrotc, I started enjoying it.

[18:06] EBONY CLARK: Yeah, well, you know, I was a big fan of jrotc. I think your friends probably still have jokes about me and jrotc, but seeing you in those parades, I was so excited every time. Like, I was to the parade early. I walked the whole parade, but, you know, I walked the whole parade with you until it was over. I videoed every parade. Braylon just asked me. She was like, so they don't have the parades anymore? Because she equated them having the parades with just the fact that you were in the parade at the time. And I was like, no, they still have the parade. He just graduated from high school, so he's not in JRTC anymore. But it was always seeing you in that light, like, in that uniform. It was like your posture changed. Like, you were a different person in that uniform. And as a mother, a single parent, right, who's. Who's raising a young man, an African American man. In fact, sometimes, you know, every. I celebrated every little thing with you. I didn't care what you did. You probably said, my mom is so, like, sentimental. I celebrated every little thing because I wanted you to know that I had your back and that if nobody else was your support, you know, you had me, and it may. And that I was proud of every little thing that you did. I don't know even if you remember that used to build stuff with your Legos, I used to make this big fuss about it. Oh, my God, look what you build with your leg. Like, because it was like, everything you did. I wanted you to feel my love and support. So JROTC was perfect for me because I got to yell at the parade. Look at my son. And I did that a lot, even if it was embarrassing. I did it every parade because I was very proud of you. How were those parades for you, Braxton What do you refer from?

[20:13] BRAXTON PARKER: Looking forward and walking for real? Yeah. You know, we did a lot of left, right, left, right. And then whenever we stopped, you know, we would just be standing there, and.

[20:23] EBONY CLARK: It seemed like everybody was like, oh, you know, there goes rotc. And I think my excitement is just so crazy. I think it kind of like your grandmother was like, I'm going to the parade with you. So it was like always, she and I and Braylon at the parades, and we walked the whole parade yelling your name like we had never seen you from the first moment you got out there. But every time y'all stood still, and it just, like, people who knew us was like, oh, we saw Braxton And people would take pictures and, like, tag me in them and be like, look at Braxton And they would come up to you. Hey, Braxton And you couldn't change your face. Like, you couldn't smile. You couldn't look. And they was like, girl, he was doing it. And I felt some type of way as a parent. I was really proud as a parent. It was jrtc, But I was really proud. And then when I started. So I stalked that page, that Fort Hood page. I stalked it. I was a stalker. Like, I think I. I stalked it all day long while I was at work. Seal. Sorry. Yeah, I stalked it all day long when I was, like, like, doing work all day just to see if they took a picture. And if I could see you in one of those pictures, and I would. If I saw you in that picture, I would take that picture from Facebook and I would blow the pot up with you in it, even if it was blurry. And I would post it, and I was like, look at my baby. And everybody was just, like, so proud. He was like, we had a community of people who, like, went through your whole basic. And is it ait. Ait with me? And they was, like, living vicariously through, like, pictures and phone calls and things that I would post and just rooting for you along the way. And it felt really good for everybody just to be very proud of you. Are you laughing? Because I'm laughing. That's silly. You got any questions for me? So we're just gonna pause for the thunder. Okay, go ahead, Braxton It can be about anything. It doesn't have to be military related also.

[22:46] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah, I figured. No, no, I can't think of anything.

[22:58] EBONY CLARK: I think you asked me one time before, did I ever think about joining the military?

[23:02] BRAXTON PARKER: I did.

[23:04] EBONY CLARK: I did. I wanted to go into the Air Force. Your grandmother was like, no, they'll kick you out, honey. You got too much mouth. And she probably was correct. But I wanted to go in the Air Force because I wanted to fly.

[23:21] BRAXTON PARKER: Planes, like jets or helicopters.

[23:25] EBONY CLARK: Jets. And I wanted the Air Force to be like, Better for women. So I heard. So I think for a lot of your military career so far, I have been vicariously like, living through you, because I was like, oh, he's doing something that I always wanted to do. Like, you had the guts to actually do it. I don't think I would have made it through basic. I think if I had to out, you know, I would have. But as a choice, from everything that I saw that they were doing when I was looking at the pictures from Fort Seale and I brought that whole album, you know, I did, like, I brought every single picture they were selling, even if he wasn't in it. And I brought the videos. I brought everything.

[24:09] BRAXTON PARKER: I remember sitting there, and dude was taking the videos and the pictures. Like, we. We couldn't really acknowledge him being there, but we knew he was there, right? And I knew that the pictures would get posted and you would see me, right? So it was times where he would take a picture and I would look at the picture and smile, but I knew I couldn't, so he had to retake the picture. But it was. It felt good knowing that I was taking these pictures and you were still going to see me and be able.

[24:39] EBONY CLARK: To keep up with me, stalk that page and everything. Every time they sent something was like, do you want to buy your soldier's photos book? They had my money. They had my money immediately. And I still. And I would go through every one of those photos to see if I saw you. And then I would crop everything else out and just. It would just be you. And I would send them, like, to your grandparents. Look at Braxton And it was one particular picture. I think you all did the gas chamber thing. Oh, my God. And you were crying. Like, you weren't crying crying, but, you know, the tears. And I was like, oh, they don't mess with my baby. I was defensive. Like, I was defensive at first because I was like, why? Oh, I'm gonna hurt somebody. But then I was like, I can't go Uncle Sam's army, you know, and do that. But I was kind of defensive a little bit. I went into straight mommy mode on some of those pictures, But I understood.

[25:32] BRAXTON PARKER: I think that was one of the pictures that I didn't want him to take, just because I knew we had been in there. And coming out of there, I was coughing my lungs up and tears dropping and saliva, and I was like, goodness gracious, I pray I don't throw up, because it was a lot of people out there throwing up.

[25:47] EBONY CLARK: Oh, wow. So you didn't throw up and they.

[25:50] BRAXTON PARKER: Told us not to drink milk. But I ate my cereal with milk beforehand and I thought I was going to throw up. I thought I was done for, but I didn't. I came out of hype.

[26:00] EBONY CLARK: Oh yeah, well, those pictures look horrible. If I had, if I had to go by the pictures, I'd be like, oh, he was hurt because that's all you saw was. And I was like. And then I made a joke. I was like, his little head shaped like an egg with no hair on it.

[26:17] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah. I remember every time I would grow hair and then they would make us.

[26:20] EBONY CLARK: Cut our hair off and that's crazy because they don't know that your hair grows back. Like the next day. Like you can shave it down bald and the next day you're going to have hair.

[26:29] BRAXTON PARKER: Yep, Hair was going back and I had me a little brush and I would brush it and then we would cut it until I got the ait and I was able to grow it out more. I probably should have waved it up. Then I went to the barbershop that one time.

[26:44] EBONY CLARK: Oh, and they messed up your hair. You told me you was really mad. You was like, mom, I got this haircut. I was like, let me see it. Remember? I was like, let me see it. And he was like, no, I don't want you to see my hair like this. But I think you finally went on video or something and you showed me and I was like, yeah, that's bad.

[27:04] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah, I didn't want to do nothing after that. I didn't even want to show my face no more. But I know I had to.

[27:10] EBONY CLARK: Seriously.

[27:10] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah, that haircut was ugly.

[27:15] EBONY CLARK: So who did you meet? Friend wise. Like who was your. The person that you were most friendly with. Like who you would fit, who you feel like you were really close to during that time.

[27:27] BRAXTON PARKER: McElroy. Oh, McElroy.

[27:28] EBONY CLARK: I like McElroy.

[27:31] BRAXTON PARKER: Macro. He was most of our platoon, a good bit of opportunity. Didn't like him just cause he was straightforward. He was real straightforward.

[27:44] EBONY CLARK: No, no gray areas, just black and white. I think you're kind of used to that because that's how you grew up. But black and white, no gray areas.

[27:50] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah. So me and him became good friends. I would keep him up and he would keep me up. Like when I, when I first got shin splints and it was kind of hard for me to walk and we had a, we had to do a rut and he helped me through most of that rut. Like I held on to him for a good part of it. He helped me out because I was in a lot of pain.

[28:13] EBONY CLARK: And this is a really serious question, and it's going to cross borders to what we. How we always Talk. Being that McLeroy was Caucasian, and I know that you all are taught to be, like, a whole brotherhood and everything. Did it kind of, like, make you feel different about race relations, being that he became one of your really good friends?

[28:42] BRAXTON PARKER: No, not really. Because I had a good bit of Caucasian friends, especially in high school, right. So, I mean, I didn't talk much, but whenever we saw each other, we.

[28:54] EBONY CLARK: Was cool, I think, because, like, as a family, you see we have a lot of Caucasian friends, period. You know? But during that time, you know, with all of those, like, police brutalities and things of that nature, I guess that's what I was asking, like, how did it make you feel to know that the person who was looking out for you the most was some. Probably the most unexpected.

[29:25] BRAXTON PARKER: I never really thought about that because, I mean, at that point, we was just in it together.

[29:33] EBONY CLARK: Right.

[29:34] BRAXTON PARKER: But I don't know. I, I, I don't think it really changes the way I feel, just. Cause I never really felt away.

[29:44] EBONY CLARK: Mm.

[29:46] BRAXTON PARKER: I just. I knew there was a difference, Right. And. But talking to him, getting to know him and him getting to know me, it just kind of just made that friendship tight, close. It didn't matter. Color didn't matter.

[30:10] EBONY CLARK: I think the first time when he, when he came to Savannah that time and I met him, and he was like, he's. He's. They have, what, a farm or. And everything?

[30:24] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah, he. He owns a good bit of land.

[30:29] EBONY CLARK: So I. Where is he from again?

[30:31] BRAXTON PARKER: Kansas.

[30:32] EBONY CLARK: Kansas. So I think for me, it was. It was like, I was really impressed that you actually made a friend outside of what your. What the norm would have been like, a little, I can say this openly, like a black kid from the city, you know, with a Caucasian kid who used to farm. Like, you never, you probably saw a farm before, but you never did anything with the farm. So when you all became friends, it made me feel really good because it was like, I felt like you were getting to meet people outside of your normal, who you could see different aspects and different varieties and you know, it in different ways of how they live versus how we, you know, are here. And I remember one time, I think you couldn't have your phone. They took.

[31:29] BRAXTON PARKER: They took my phone.

[31:30] EBONY CLARK: They took your phone.

[31:31] BRAXTON PARKER: I got in trouble, took my phone.

[31:33] EBONY CLARK: So he called me.

[31:35] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah, he let me use your phone.

[31:36] EBONY CLARK: And he was like, hey. And I called Back. I didn't know the number, remember? And I called back, and he was like, hey, this McRoy, this is Braxton's friend. And. And I was like, wow. You know, like, so I was, like, very happy that you had someone. And it reminded me of myself because that's how I was. Like, Aaron was my best friend in high school. She was Caucasian, and, like, we did everything together. So I was like, he really is my kid, you know? So that was like. I felt like you had somebody that was looking out for you, and I felt really good that you would, because sometimes you tend to be a loner. And I felt like, oh, he finally opened up, and it made me feel good.

[32:35] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah, I did open up. I ain't gonna lie. I did. And it's crazy, because it didn't really take much. It didn't take as much as I thought it would take. So opening up to him and being cool and friends with him, I. It felt like one of my realest friendships.

[32:58] EBONY CLARK: Yeah. Which I. I feel like it had, because you all are still friends. And, like, even with him coming down here to visit and everything of that nature, I was just like, he really did make a friend, because I know how much of a loner you have the possibility of being when you want to. So I was very impressed with that. It, like, showed me a different side of you, and I was like, he's growing out of that stage, which is a good thing. You said, Braxton you thought it would take more for you to open up, and it didn't really take much. Can you talk a little more about that?

[33:40] BRAXTON PARKER: What he did to help you, he really didn't do much to help me open up. Is it. It was just like he was there, like, when I. Even when I didn't say it.

[33:58] EBONY CLARK: So. Sorry. We're working around the storm, J.

[34:11] BRAXTON PARKER: Even when I didn't say it, he was just there. He's like. He knew, like, it was times where I. I was ready to give up, and he was just there. He was like, you know, we not giving up. We're gonna do this together. We gonna get through it. So.

[34:29] EBONY CLARK: It made it easy for you to be friends with him because you felt like you had some. Somebody that had your back.

[34:34] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah.

[34:35] EBONY CLARK: Support.

[34:35] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah, I. I felt like I had that support.

[34:38] EBONY CLARK: Yeah.

[34:39] BRAXTON PARKER: So it made it easier for me to open up to him.

[34:42] EBONY CLARK: It wasn't like every man for himself. He actually was exemplifying everything that the military tells you about your. Your buddies.

[34:50] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah. Like, I mean, I had buddies, but he was like, my Battle buddy, right. Like we, we, we planned to go to war together. So he was my best friend. Still basically is my best friend.

[35:09] EBONY CLARK: I know. Yeah, he's a Sweetheart. I love McElroy. Ebony can you talk a little bit more? You said McElroy came to visit. Can you talk a little bit more about that first visit and meeting him in person for the first time? He was different than what I expected him. So sorry. This is so great. I want to make sure we get it okay. He was a little different than what I expected him. He was so free. I think that's. And that made me know that he wasn't raised in those constraints of race and environment because he was so free. Like he was giving me hugs and he was like, I'm so happy to meet you. And I was like, I'm happy to meet you. And he was all giggly and I was giggly. And I was like, Braxton has a friend. And it just made me feel. He was very genuine. Like you can tell from his whole spirit that he's just a real genuine person. Like he the kind of person to see you on the side of the road with a flat tire and he's going to pull over and help you change the tire or he'll see somebody in the street stressed and he's going to do whatever, you know, he, you could tell just from that first meet with him, I could tell that just how he was. And it made me feel really good that you actually made a friend who came from Kansas to Savannah to see you and to, you know, and was like, oh, I'm going to see Braxton And I was just like, wow. Like that. Let me know that you are really did have a really good relationship because I was, he just was different, you know, I, I think I expected somebody. Did he have on cowboy boots?

[36:58] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah, yeah, he's a cowboy.

[37:00] EBONY CLARK: Yeah, he's a cop. I know. I have to remember that he is, he really genuinely is a cowboy. So I just was like expecting, you know, kind of like that vibe, but just a little more titish. But he was so laid back. He's like that cow. Like, I know, you know, I love Yellowstone Stone. So he's like, you know, the cool cowboy, you know, like he's that young, cool, like just all around handsome guy. And I was just like really excited. I think I was more excited to meet him than he probably anybody you have ever brought home in your life because I felt like he was a good friend for you, a good buddy in a lot of ways because he Got you to open up. He was my little superhero because he got you to open up. And I would, you know, and talk, because you talk, but you don't talk to people a lot. Like, you just look at them. Yeah, but he got you to open up in that. And I was just really happy to meet him. He's a cool guy.

[38:04] BRAXTON PARKER: He is cool.

[38:05] EBONY CLARK: Oh. So last words. Oh, I got something. Okay. I got some last words. I want to say I'm proud of you that you have really exceeded all of my expectations. And, you know, there never was for any. All of my expectations for you to be happy in life and to do what you loved. I never had any kind of goals for you except for you just to be productive. We always talked about as long as you was productive, I was going to be happy. And as long as you were happy, you would make me proud. But you have really made me proud. So proud that I had another child 11 years later because I thought she was going to be similar to you. But it's different. You know, you was a quiet kid. You know. You know, she in the room, but we love her. She's mugging me. But I just want you to be happy, and I think you are. You're getting there. It has been one of the best things that ever happened to me in life is to watch your journey from birth until now. I think I was so eager to see how you would turn out. And I'm so happy that I'm able to still go through this process with you and to see you from childhood to being a man and growing into yourself. It's really been, like, one of the greatest moments of my life, and I'm really proud of you.

[39:32] BRAXTON PARKER: My turn?

[39:33] EBONY CLARK: Yeah.

[39:34] BRAXTON PARKER: Okay. Being your son is. Is piece of work, but it's worth it. You're a great mom. You're a great parent.

[39:56] EBONY CLARK: Thank you.

[39:57] BRAXTON PARKER: It's. It's great knowing that you're doing your best, and your best is enough.

[40:05] EBONY CLARK: Oh, Braxton That meant a lot.

[40:08] BRAXTON PARKER: And we've had our ups and downs.

[40:11] EBONY CLARK: Have.

[40:12] BRAXTON PARKER: But it doesn't compare to our ups. So I'm just grateful that I could have you as a mom.

[40:19] EBONY CLARK: Thank you. I appreciate that. I think our downs were basically just growing pains.

[40:24] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah.

[40:25] EBONY CLARK: Me letting you be older, me letting go. That's what those were, our downs. You never. You never got into trouble today in your life. So I really can't count anything as a down. You know, I never had to go to the school because you got in trouble or somebody called me for anything of misbehaving. It was never anything of that nature. So our downs were not really downs. It was just growing pains. Because I'm a new. I was a new mom and there's no handbook. And I had to learn you individually as children. I had to learn how to individualize my parenting and that those were our growing pains. So it was no down. It's been the best part of my life. I would do it again.

[41:16] BRAXTON PARKER: I don't think I would grow up again.

[41:18] EBONY CLARK: You don't think so? I would like to raise you again, but I wouldn't change anything.

[41:28] BRAXTON PARKER: I wouldn't change nothing either.

[41:30] EBONY CLARK: You wouldn't? Honestly? No. Even the bouts when, like when we were homeless, you wouldn't change it?

[41:35] BRAXTON PARKER: No. I feel like it's all an experience. And being able to experience with you as my mom makes it even better. Just because through it all, you just kept us up. You. You never let us be upset. You know, you. You. You made sure that we had it even when we didn't have it. So.

[41:59] EBONY CLARK: I appreciate that. Cuz a lot of times I thought I was failing. But every time I see you accomplish something, every time I see your sister accomplish something, it lets me know that I did a. I did a good job. You know, Did a great job. I needed to hear that. I appreciate that.

[42:22] BRAXTON PARKER: Of course.

[42:23] EBONY CLARK: I love you.

[42:24] BRAXTON PARKER: I love you more.

[42:29] EBONY CLARK: That was so wonderful. I just. I have one question for you all before we wrap up. Okay. I'm just wondering, you know, you. You kind of described your relationship with Braxton as. You guys were sort of a dynamic duo when he was younger. And I'm wondering if you can both share a memory you have of maybe when. When you were younger, when you were growing up with your mom that, you know, brings you joy and you remember really fondly if there's. If there's something that comes to mind.

[43:02] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah. Playing the game. I love playing the game. So when. When you come in the room and play the game with me, I bring the game in the room to you, and we be sitting there playing the Wii and you was just getting killed, and I was just yelling at you, telling you, ma, you gotta do this. Ma, you gotta do that. Mom, come on. Come on. I got it. I'm getting it. It was fun. That. That has one of my best moments.

[43:25] EBONY CLARK: I. I enjoyed those moments because. Listen, okay, you didn't. It was just me and you, and sometimes I. I wanted to have a bond and I wanted you to know that I was invested. It didn't matter what you was doing. So coming in that room and playing that game, even though. And you yelled at me a lot. Get out the way. Get out the way. You're gonna die. And I was like, this kid is not that he know I don't know how to play the Wii. But it wasn't. It was just our bonding time. And didn't matter how many times I died in that game, as long as you had fun, as long as you were happy, as long as you were smiling, as long as you could feel my presence, that's all that mattered to me. It didn't matter how much you yelled. That's all that mattered was the fact that I was right there in that moment. That moment. We was having those moments, and I was like, present with you. And my favorite moment when you cook. Teaching you how to cook and being in the kitchen is something that I do with both of you. Teaching you how to cook and being in the kitchen with you and watching chef's hat and everything with the chef. Because, you know, I had to do it. I had to go all out. I had to get you the shelf, hat, everything, because use my Little Chef. So I had to teach you. I wanted those moments meant everything to me because I was able to exercise something that I kind of love to do and share it with you. And your spaghetti is, like, still. I still make my spaghetti. The way you formulated your spaghetti that day is still a winner. So no. Yeah.

[44:59] BRAXTON PARKER: Best spaghetti ever.

[45:01] EBONY CLARK: So your recipe that you made was really good. It's been a hit for 11 years. About 12 years.

[45:08] BRAXTON PARKER: Oh, and. And like, when we used to sing together.

[45:11] EBONY CLARK: Oh, yeah.

[45:12] BRAXTON PARKER: Like. Like when we had little singing competitions posted on Facebook.

[45:17] EBONY CLARK: Yeah. Those are my favorite moments, too. And letting you drive me. When we drive, we're in a car, and I said, Braxton drive me to the story. You knew I could drive myself, but you would do it because you knew I just wanted you with me.

[45:31] BRAXTON PARKER: Yeah.

[45:33] EBONY CLARK: My favorite moments.

[45:35] BRAXTON PARKER: Some of my favorite moments. Happiest moments.

[45:40] EBONY CLARK: Thank you guys so much. All right, so we're just going to do 10 seconds of silence now. And that's just to get room tone for editing stuff. So 10 second s and then we'll stop the recording.