Elizabeth Denehie and Ellen Murphey

Ellen and Elizabeth introduce themselves and read each other’s bios.

Ellen shares her life story. They say they grew up in Ann Arbor in the sixties as the youngest of four children. Ellen says their parents and siblings were involved in the anti-war movement and her mother came from a Quaker background. Ellen says they came out to themselves very slowly and describes it as a painful and gradual process. Ellen says at thirty-three, they finally met someone they fell in love with. Ellen adds they weren’t able to conceive naturally and adopted a child when they were forty-four.

Elizabeth shares her life story. She says she is the first born child and her dad is not involved in the family. Elizabeth shares she was diagnosed with FSH as a child. She talks about her role as a caretaker for her mother who developed frontotemporal dementia and her nephew. Elizabeth says she was a substitute teacher for many years because no one would hire her as a teacher. Elizabeth shares that her mother passed away in January 2020, her nephew is now an adult, and she is thinking about what her place is now that she does need to be a full time caretaker. Elizabeth says she has a life partner she has been with for twenty-five years but they are not married because disabled people are at risk of losing so many important benefits if they get married.

Ellen says they are grateful to their partner because she taught them how to be in a loving and healthy relationship.

Elizabeth talks about her best friend who she has known since the seventh grade. Elizabeth says her friend taught her how to support others and how to gracefully deal with others who have hurt her.

Elizabeth talks about her relationship with her younger brother. She says they are very close and their shared experience of caring for their mother has bonded them for life.

Ellen talks more about their experience as a queer person. They say their experience as a queer person is different than Elizabeth’s experience as a disabled person because they could hide their sexuality if they needed to. Ellen recalls the hate for the gay community that they witnessed when Vermont allowed civil unions and how scary and difficult that was. Ellen says when they and their partner go on vacation, there are places that are off the table because the two of them would be targeted there.

Elizabeth talks about how she perseveres in the face of all the challenges in her life. “I’m just me and I know that I have to keep going,” she says.