Emily Colon and OlaOcha Chinue

00:00 Hey. All right, we're recording. Yep. So I'm gonna ask you a couple of questions. Um, all right, so I'm gonna ask you the first question. So becoming a dad so young must have been a roller coaster. Take me through that wild ride.

00:22 Well, let's see. I was. I was, like, 18 or 19 and, you know, being a. I was, you know, an AP student at the time, going to a fine art school, playing saxophone. And it also being in video broadcast. And it was like, wow, crazy world, like. But, you know, I also had a lot on my plate at the time as well. I was. I had a three bedroom, two bath at 18 with my own cardinal and got off at 02:00 a.m. as well. I had a lot of responsibility, but I guess it. I would say it made me man up a little bit more, take life a little bit more seriously, and made me more empathetic as well.

01:09 Mm hmm. Okay, that's cool. So, wow, fatherhood was your first track to maturity. Now, tell me, how did you. How did a guy with background meet the lovely miss. How you say, wife's name? I want to say wrong.

01:30 Her name's Kristen Christian.

01:32 Okay.

01:35 I call her Lucy.

01:38 Okay, that's different. So tell me how that, you know, how did that come around? How did y'all guys.

01:47 Well, let's see. I met her, honestly going to a church event in 8th grade to 9th grade summer. Me, my best friend Cam, we're going to a church event or something like that for teens or something like a summer camp or something like that. I made it there. And then I went to. I had moved in with my father in high school, and I ended up going to a different high school, and she ended up asking me to the city Hopkins thing, like, when I went to high school for that semester. And we end up linking back up around Covid in 2020. Everybody thought we were going to die. And we all at the house and we ended up started texting back and forth and went out.

02:40 Oh, wow, that's crazy. And then y'all just rekindle again after a couple of years, right? Did you ever think you. Did y'all think you guys was gonna be together?

02:53 No, it was actually kind of crazy, cuz, like, I remember. I remember going. Catching the city bus and, like, going back and forth from work. I work at pose. I'm catching the city bus all the way up to north, making and seeing her go to. I guess she was going to one of the colleges central take a Virginia college or something like that. Now see her in transport, like, you know, and we'll say hey to each other and stuff like that. But she always had a boyfriend or whatever, so, you know, we always see each other in passing in town, like, every now and then, and it ended up turning out to be me, my wife. You know how God works, you know, like, I probably wasn't ready for that time.

03:40 Probably not sound like a real life romance. I see you guys. Okay, but really, prison must have tested your limits. How did you stay positive through the dark days? Explain that to me.

03:56 Well, like, I went to prison off my first ever arrest. Like, it was for something so stupid and. But in all honesty, when I went to prison for was something that I did not do.

04:11 Mm hmm.

04:12 I didn't have that much time, so it was just, it's something I had to become somebody that I'm not.

04:19 Mm hmm.

04:20 And, you know, I guess it was like an extreme code switch. If you say that, like, in the opposite code switch, like, I guess, like, to the point of me being a man, that I didn't want to be, like, having to be super aggressive or, you know, like, ao watch out or not. But I'm also secluded to myself. I just wanted to get, get up out of there. Like, I really, like, I know I didn't belong there. Like, they told me I had six months, and I'm in here with people that got 2030 years. You know, I'm like, I don't need to be around here. I feel like I just, I had that mindset because I was also, you know, I've always been in academia throughout my adolescent years that ended up working out.

05:18 All right, so you have the resemblance of a superhero. So after incarnation, how did you get back on your feet? Like, did you stumble at first? Like, was it a struggle? Like, how was it different when you got out? Like, explain that to me.

05:36 Oh, for sure. It was definitely a struggle as far as being able to just get money so I can actually be able to be stable because, you know, we, you know, when you're, you know, you get out, you, they pitch on probation and, you know, they want such and such money, restitution and all this stuff. And third, and it really, I was working three jobs. Three jobs. And I got my, my twins with me at the time. At the time. And it was just, it was a real struggle, you know, trying to manage all that dealing with, you know, internal household issues and whatnot. It was definitely a battle to be able to balance the both. But, you know, I eventually ended up just press bearing, stand knuckle, down. Been able to save my money up, you know, and got off the probation. I used my tax money. I didn't file one year, and so I ended up getting a check for two years. I paid them up front to file my taxes two years in a row, I mean, from previous year. So I used that money. I paid off my probation so I can get off probation early. And when it got me a car and shoot, I never tried to look back at the situation, even though some of the main rhythms that. That come along with being incarcerated definitely do weigh on the person, like, to main reasons, such as eating, like hovering over your food or, like, you know, maybe eating fast or always being suspicious of what people got going on or maybe been really light. When you want to get comfortable, you can't. But I feel like those internal battles that everybody do it, you know, especially. Especially in the black community, I felt like, statistically speaking, I guess I was statistic. But, you know, this situation happened right before. Right before all this Black lives matter and stuff started taking. Taking place. And county that it happened, it was cop county. Not see them often on the news. And it was just crazy to me, the. That, you know, people die in this county because it's, like, super racist.

08:08 Yeah.

08:10 Particularly speaking, you know, it's bound to happen. I didn't try to make it define my life, even though they tried to define me with it.

08:18 Yeah, I agree with you. You show true gritty getting through that. I really agree with you. But that's really good. That's a big accomplishment. What suddenly made you decide how your education was your next chapter? Like, what made you want to go?

08:34 Well, in all honesty, I've always had my. My mother and my father. When it comes to inspiration, when it comes to education, my mother, she was second class integrated students in America. She shows three degrees and five minors, a master's in education and a master's in communications.

09:03 That's good.

09:04 And I think I'm minor in, like, public speaking or something like that in theater. But, you know, I've always been around that, you know, when, especially in my younger adolescent years, I went to private schools, and this was black excellence was what was expected of us. You know, before my mother, she got sick in, like, 98. She had a grandma seizure at work, and my whole life changed. And my mom, you know, she became sick. She was the main breadwinner making, you know, she made over a year. And my dad, she didn't make that much money, you know, honestly, he was at home. Dad, when I was younger, Rose got flipped. My dad went back to work in his construction, and my mother couldn't work anymore, and so I kind of dealt with that. So, yeah, I always had that inspiration as far as education. Like, I remember my mom, she took us what was in 90, in 95 or 96, the main youth march in New York. You know, she took us to that march, and I remember the police, like, you know, you know, attacking the people and people's own bullhorns. And I remember a lady picking me up and down into the church, and, you know, and I just remember all the camaraderie of all these black, excellent people on this, this bus ride from Atlanta all the way up to New York.

10:43 Wow.

10:43 Just for it to end in this crazy situation. So, I don't know, I just. I've always been around, you know, the educated black population, I suppose, of academia.

10:58 That's very interesting. So from prison to, like, your PhD. So you have your PhD. You're getting that?

11:05 Oh, no, I'm getting my bachelor's.

11:08 Your bachelor's. Okay. That's good. So basically, like, that's incredible around, um, basically that. So is he. So during that time, who gave you hope during those toughest time? Like, was it your mother? Because I know you mentioned her, so honestly, I would.

11:30 You know, families plays a small role in it, but I feel like, um, mental fortitude, honestly. And also my connection with the most high played a. A big. A big part of my life to me, to, you know, conquer the obstacles that I've had to experience in my life and overcome. I'm not. I'm not a person who likes to operate off emotion. Too often, I try to deal with the facts, and one problem at a time, you know, if you try to overload yourself, I found it to not be very productive is very counterproductive, in my opinion. And because I think because of my atlantic mindset and looking at things that I have in my approaches, I've been able to, you know, not. I guess they call it compartmentalizing your feelings or whatnot.

12:27 Yeah.

12:27 But I feel like there's more. So managing it okay.

12:32 Do you think your kids, like, I know you said all that, and it was good. I. This is incredible. Like, I'm just shocked how people could turn, like, coming from, you know, jail. People don't think they could turn around their life around, but I think sometimes they just don't try. But you really, like, try, and. I know. So do you feel like they gave you hope in that situation from the toughest time, when you just came around and just turned your life around and did what you had to do and go back to school. I know it was kind of hard, for sure.

13:09 Well, it's crazy because that you say that because, honestly, I had went back to school originally in 2020, right before COVID before I knew all the stuff was going to happen or whatnot. Parallel was going on while I was being accepted into college and into Mercy University and whatnot. I was getting my kids. My kids. The mother, my kids was telling me how she was in a bad situation. I needed to get my twins because she wasn't in a stable situation. I wasn't in the best situation. Also about the entering into school. I was preparing for that. Like, you know, my kids. My kids needed me, and so I used that, and Covid happened, and it threw a stick in my tire. I got the kids at home how to do basic computer skills.

14:12 Yeah.

14:13 And I'm like, I got my online school, and it's just like it would. It seemed like it just wasn't the right time. I'm just like, wow, I waited all these years to go back to school and, like, it just happened. And, you know, I was upset at myself. I felt as if it was my responsibility to, you know, to do this, not just for me, but for them, be able to provide for my family because, you know, the average, like, 2023, the average. The average for. For middle class is $65,000 a year. 30 people don't make $65,000 a year. And, you know, I'm like, and what I want from my little ones, I want them, you know, be able to go to martial arts and. Or they want to go be. And be gymnastics or something like that. Be able to do these type of things or whatever they want to pursue in life and be able to set them up. Said, I tell. I tell my kids all the time, my dream for you is for you to be in your own home and to lay back and lay back on your bed and know that you got a big old screen tv or whatever you want there. Your room, your room decorated how you wanted it. You had a car out in front. You ain't worried about nothing. You chilling. You got your music playing, and you to your music. That's what I tell my kids. I say, that's the ultimate goal right there.

15:55 For me, that sure is.

15:57 Now, for you to get to that ultimate goal right there, you got to go through college, you got to get all this stuff done. But my ultimate goal, like, is for you to do all the fun things you like to do in life. And those things I want to do, you know, they say, like, money can't buy you happy. I just want to be able to do the things that make me happy.

16:16 I feel like they say that money don't buy you happiness, but even though you spending it on your kids, they're happy because we didn't get, we didn't have it like that growing up.

16:27 Right.

16:28 So, yeah, by happiness. But they also remember that happiness, for sure, because we, like you said, that's, I like that. Like, you gotta. Those are your kids, you know, optimistic is contagious. Like, contagious. Like, I like it. If you could go back, what advice would you give your younger self?

16:56 If I could go back, I would say, I would say I should have finished, I would tell myself to finish high school because about, I dropped out in eleven grade. I was, like, 18 going on 19. But I, like, I said, I was dealing with a lot of stuff, but I just feel like I should have persevered a little bit more. And, you know, I would have came out of there with a double seal.

17:30 Mm hmm.

17:31 And in all honesty, I already had passed my graduation test. I just didn't have enough credits to walk, you know? And it was just, I was feeling like an adult and being treated like a child. Like, it was just, I was battling that in school. Like, adults walking up to me, snatching my head off, like, you know, and I just really weren't feeling that time. I know I was, you know, I was supposed to, I guess, but 1819, I really wasn't feeling the whole being in high school thing.

18:04 So you thought you was grown?

18:07 Because I was, in a sense. You know, I got bills. I remember a situation where, like I said, the principal snatched my hat off. I say, can you give my hat back, please? Man, that was awfully rude of you. You know, I say it in a disrespect for men or anything. And you were like, well, let's go to the office. And I'm like, okay, let's call your mother. And it's like, I tell him, say, you know, that's my hat. You know, I paid for, you know, I paid for my own home. You know, I got my car outside. I paid my insurance, pay my rent, all that. And they said, let's call your mother. And then he calls my mother. And he, my mother confirms everything that he said that I told him. I say, he says he's grown, and he says that he pays his own house. And he says this, that, and third, like, well, he does, you know, he's off on his own. He pays for everything that he has right now. He's continuing high school right now, you know.

19:04 Wow.

19:06 And he handed me back my hat and said, and just looked it real mad at me and it was like.

19:17 Yeah, like, oh, like your mother was supposed to be like, okay, would you not even living with her? Wow, that's crazy.

19:25 Yeah. And because I was dealing with that at high school, it was just like, I don't know, I was in limbo. I felt like almost, but also I was like I said, I was an AP student, so I'm also categorized with the smart and the elite kids. And this high school I'm going to is the central high school, which is like literally right up street from Mercer. Like I literally took my AP test at Mercer and when I was in high school.

19:52 So look, you're in Mercer now. Like, what advice would you give, like, young fathers that are going through that situation and then like, you, like you that have multiple kids, I'll say, just.

20:13 If you can have a working relationship with the mother, I say do so. But remember, picture kids at the forefront of everything that you do and I guarantee you'd be happy. There will be times that will be difficult, but to ensure the next generation could, at a point you hear you can't cry for spill milk, you have to go ahead and just stick with it and show that grit and read a couple of books. Honestly, like, I read a few books about fatherhood and parenthood. You know, I first became a father, you know, cuz I was so nervous and scared about not being able to do the right thing. Yeah, you know, so. But now, you know, my, uh, my oldest is eleven, my twins are ten. You know, I got custody all three of them, they're all in the gifted program and you know, everybody brings good grades home. I might get a low c or maybe some, maybe every now and then. Like my, uh, my youngest, she might bring home a little highly elf and I'd be like, bro, come on, what going on? Like, what's going on? But you know, I think she's pushing past that. So.

21:39 You know, you're like the second person I know that has been a single father. And I always, I be shocked because I'm like, you're a single father, like, you have the kids where they mama, right? I don't know, I just think it's just I feel like having kids and y'all supposed to be out free, but when I see when a father, like, like I said in person, when, like my friend, when he told me he was a single father, I kind of was like, wow. Like, I was shocked. Like, you are. Like, do you. Do you do everything? He was like, yeah. Like, I really salute you guys because. Because it's hard coming from a single mother myself and for you to be raising three kids that that was on, you know, on your own. Um, I give you, like, credit, much props.

22:36 Credit.

22:36 Because that's not. It's not easy.

22:40 For sure.

22:41 It's not easy. And I know it could be hard, cuz, trust me. But I just be so shocked and amazed. Like what? Like, I'm just so used to it. But when a father tells me that, I'm like, wow. Like, I give you props because it's.

22:58 You know, I just feel like this more like a generational thing. I don't know. I feel like it's. Well, one, you know, I feel like the whole black fathers not being in kids life is almost like a bit of a myth because everybody, every father that I know and been around, you feel me, if they weren't around their kid, it's because of the issues I feel like they had with the mother, the kid, but it's not because of a one that they didn't want to be around their kid.

23:33 Yeah.

23:34 You know, it, because they're in the person. I'm not knowing how to balance that. That co parenting afterwards. You know, I see a lot of black fathers in their kids lives as well. Like, every matter of fact, all my friends that I got and we quote unquote, we consider from the hood making George mercy. Mercy University sits right. Right in. Smack in the middle of.

23:59 Yeah, if.

24:00 I mean, like, it's right there. We. I grew up right around the street, right around the corner from Mercy University.

24:05 Wow.

24:06 You know, and autumn, guys that I know, Mandy, in the kids lives, even the most gangster dude, be like, you be seeing them be, like, on the street slang and doing his thing, and.

24:21 Then it comes to their kids. They taking care of their kids.

24:24 They taking care of the kids. Got them. Got them in the fresh jordans and everything.

24:28 I know. That's right. All righty. Now, so what accomplishments makes you the proudest now?

24:40 Just, you know, being. Now that I'm being. I'm married and I have my. I have custody of my kids, honestly, having that family structure unit that I've built, they say brick by brick, that's what I feel like is. And I'm chasing my dreams right now. You know, I'm not letting my past make who I am any longer.

25:16 Yeah.

25:17 I'm not giving myself excuses. I'm willing to endure a little bit of struggle just to get what I need to get done completed for myself to say, because I've always wanted to achieve higher academia. And, you know, in my day to day interactions with people, I was very, uh, saddened on the inside because I felt as if I could never have an intellectual conversation with the people that were around me for the most part. And for me to be able to have that outlet is almost like everything to me, like a breath of fresh air. It's like that first time you, um, you. You've read that book and you was able to understand it.

26:05 Yeah.

26:05 You know, and you saw that world, and you seen your imagination. You built this whole world around it. That feeling right there is how I feel about being able to pursue my education.

26:20 I like that. Look at you go. Lastly, what are your, like, wildest dreams and goals now? Like, let your imagination run wild. Like, tell me about that.

26:33 Well, last semester, I switched to software. Software development and human computer interactions. Honestly, probably before, like, working for Netflix or the big tech companies, you know, and working on AI or something like that. Being able to make six figures coming up out of. Out of Mercy University. That's the plan, honestly. And so I can actually make a change in my kids lives and the people around me and also my community. I would say those would be the big goals for me right now. I definitely want to get these kids off to college and, yeah, to get them a car at 16 or, shoot, I told them I was going to get them an e bike instead of a car that you slide up street really quick.

27:46 Yeah, I know. That's funny. Yeah, I like that. That's very creative. Like what? What else did you, like, go to school for? Did you just go to school for the tech, or you went to school for something else?

28:06 Oh, well, I went to school for organizational leadership. I'm a minor in the organizational leadership. That was my, my major before I switched over. I'm very much so interested in the organizational leadership part aspect, but I started a minor in that, um, reason being I just want to get the analytical side of knowledge more so.

28:30 Mm hmm.

28:31 As far as being in big tech, but I also wanted the minor in it, you know, be able to say ao, you know, I could do it, too, but I honestly would say I might not go and hit my bachelor's in ithood shoot or even go to law school when I get done with this, I don't even know.

28:50 So you want to continue to?

28:54 Yeah, for sure. I was thinking about law school. School. Shoot, something else. I don't know.

29:00 So you ready to be in college that long? You know, you need a couple more?

29:05 Yeah, but, you know, shoot, I got four years. That'd be like, what, another three more years? Like, with ease. I mean, I'm already gonna be in the mindset. And if I be had a degree in big tech, you see that, like.

29:20 Having all that, you could do a lot of stuff with that, right? And then being a lawyer, like going to law school, trying to be a lawyer, and then you have a tech it, like tech background and all that, and, oh, you're gonna really get a great position trying to do all that. So that's good. I mean, it's for your kids. You gotta keep on striving. So if you want to keep on going, I say go for it.

29:46 That's the best plan I could think of, honestly. I was just thinking what was something that I know I can do and that's also. That's foolproof for the future, because honestly, with the way AI is going now in the world, it's, you know, taking over automation is coming. A big part of you don't know.

30:09 What'S gonna be canceled or what's gonna go and what's still gonna be available. That's gonna put us in a nutshell.

30:16 Correct, correct. And that's the whole reasoning behind the software thing. And plus, also, I'm a 90 baby, so we product the technology. We really watched the girl.

30:27 So we did.

30:29 Yeah, we watched it. We went from the, what, the old Nokia phone with plan snake homes to this what the with it? T mobile.

30:45 It was a sidekick. Yeah, the sidekick. The little flip phones and all that. And people couldn't talk until like 09:00.

30:56 Or that. Free incoming calls. My best friend, he had a little next tail chirp thing going on.

31:04 Oh, you had to tell people to call you at like 09:00 for, or.

31:11 Like, call me at night. I get the free calling. Everybody got a limited. And he'd be selling it like, it's not special to now I'm like, a limited. Everybody's limited. I don't know.

31:24 Now that you talking about that, technology did change a lot, because like you said, people do not use things. Yeah, but I mean, technology, you're in the right path. So I love the vision. So that's very good. You know, you got to support your kids. You, you got to make sure you do for them. Don't you know what their father gonna get them, they don't want? So I know they spoil. So but, like, seriously, what uplifted, uplifting message do you want to share today?

32:09 This, too, shall pass. It's a. It's an old Bible thing, but my mind tell it to me all the time. But that mantra got me through a lot in. In life, in saying that just because you're going through something this season, just remember, it's a season, and you're gonna have another season. Everything is constantly moving. And just remember, you. You don't have to sit there and stay in this moment. It will pass. This won't be forever.

32:49 Hello. That's a nice message. I like that. That's, like, really, really uplifting, because people need that. Like, the times people going through now, you never know what somebody's going through and their struggles and their issues they're having with family, school, work, just mentally, you know. So I like that message. That's, like, really uplifting. Do you have another one? I like that. I like that message. No, that was really nice. I like that message, though.

33:28 I mean, you know, it's just something, like I say, it got me through a lot in life, you know? And, like, I was speaking on earlier about mental fortitude, you know, life is gonna be stress. And, like, I was like, I was watching this TikTok, and it was speaking about stress and how your body. How you should think about stress when you. How your body should react to it and how you think about it. You know, most of the things, you know, what they say is, like, it's all mental. You know, when she spoke on it, it was like, she basically, in a nutshell, she was saying, you know, how normally your body responds to stress is like, your heart is pumping, and you're like, oh, my God, I'm stressed. I can't feel. Some people lose the hair when they get stressed out, high blood pressure. And instead of that feeling you get when you're feeling stressed out, she was speaking in a man in terms of, like, just perceive it as your body preparing itself to conquer whatever obstacle you about to come against. And by changing your mindset about stress, you know, you can. You can change how your body responds to the stress. And she had a whole bunch of statistical analysis about, like, the fakes on it with, you know, people over, I think, like, a ten year time span and stuff like that, and, like, their likelihood on longevity of a, like, heart attack or life death expectancy. And it was just an interesting concept. And I feel like once I incorporated, you know, also into this two child pass, you feel me, income in conjunction, you know, with those in my mindset.

35:33 Yeah.

35:34 My mantra, you know? You know, anything is possible. We all come against things that are so very difficult in life. I've been had. Definitely had my ups and downs, you know. No. Slept in my car before, you know, and, you know, like, I'm in between jobs or, you know, like, being hurt on the job, go through things and, you know, even having to eat sometimes even talk to somebody. You feel me? Like, even if you don't feel comfortable, you know, speaking to a therapist, you know, mental health is real.

36:18 It is.

36:19 Sit there and bury stuff under the understand and just act like it don't exist and whatnot. You know, you gotta handle those things up front.

36:28 Yeah, you do. Do you have any, like, uplifting message, do you, that you tell your kids? Like, do you give any advice to them? Like, what would you tell them now or for the future?

36:49 I tell my kids if I honestly, your ego is part of your success.

36:53 Mm hmm.

36:54 Let me saying that their confidence for me personally, I don't know, like, my drive is my ego. I tell myself that I am the best, therefore I am the best. But it's like, it's really me just reaching for the stars and I hoping for shooting for the moon. You feel me? If I hit the moon, that's cool too, right?

37:20 Yeah. I love it. You are a great dad. Like you, inspiring as always. Ola' you really are one of a kind. Like, just recording you and getting to know you and finding out all the things you, challenges you went through, all the, you know, how you accomplish. Like, you could write a book, honestly, if, you know, to me, you could write a book because, I mean, you literally change your life around. And if your wife helped you on that, kudos to her, too, because I know she had a big part of that as well. And then I know your kids had a big part of that as well. So, you know, just really interviewing you and asking you these questions and you giving me the runaround, it's like, gosh, he really been through it. And, like, you're really, like, one of a kind, and I. I salute you. And, you know, everything you said, I love it. Like, you really inspire. Like, you could inspire other dads that are going through so much. So if you could tell your story, I will let you tell it, because, you know, people go through it a lot. They don't know where to start. So you made it happen for you and your kids, for sure. And people don't understand that. So I really, kudos to you. So do you have anything else you.

38:47 Want to say, I think that was pretty dope. Interview. How you feeling about the interview?

38:54 I, like, I tell you, I. You can write a book. You could write a book because, you know, a lot of people struggle from coming out of prison and they don't know what the next step because a lot of people don't accept that and it's hard finding a job.

39:12 No, in all honesty, they don't. Really. The prison system is so messed up. Like, in all honesty, if it's crazy that we spend more money, like, having people incarcerated than educating the people so they can have something to do when they get free, but in all honesty, that's a deep rooted other problem in the education system anyway. Like why, why isn't college free in the first go? Or why are you all wasting twelve years of somebody's life instead of educating them to be prepared to go into the workforce immediately out of high school?

39:51 You're right about that. Well, our time is up. I wish you the best and thank you so much for this interview.

39:59 Cool.

40:00 Have a good one.

40:00 You too.

40:03 Bye.