Erica Richardson and Julia Davis

00:00 Dumb questions

00:08 Hi, my name is Erica Richardson. I am 43 years old and today's day is Saturday, November 9th 2019. I'm in Dallas, Texas and the name of my interview Partners Julia Davis, and she is my mom.

00:25 Hi, my name is Julia Davis. And I'm 71 years old and today's date is September. I mean, I'm sorry Saturday, November 9th 2019 and we are in Dallas Texas my relationship to my interview or is my daughter.

00:44 And that's about all I have to say.

00:49 For that portion of it. Thanks. Thank you Mama for coming over Julie. I know we had a try to get Jason the, my brother but we did do interview with him, but I guess I might be 6 years ago right Fort Worth. So, you know, maybe in the future where they come back if we could all get together and and wrap it up since we had two interviews separately. This is an elaborate excuse to like you on record.

01:18 What do this to find out who you are, you know, it's a size. We not find out who I know your mom and all that kind of stuff. But you know just to get to know you were there and have it, you know archived and be able to have it for posterity to write words. So, you know, we don't often talk about like when you were going at least that you and I don't talk about when you were growing up as a kid and that stuff. I want to know I know Jason's they ask that question is Duffin, but I actually don't ask a lot of questions related to you know, you as a kid and you as a teenager and you is the youngest do I kind of steps? I want to know what your best memory was a growing up as a as a kid, you know in 5th Ward was it called Fifth Ward 5th Ward? Yeah just going up in Fifth Ward Houston and you know and things like that and having brothers and sisters and you know, just growing up and I just want to know what it what was it.

02:18 What was an average day like in like what was your what was your best memory an average day for us was usually get enough to go to school and that was five of us in the house and three boys and two girls you can imagine what the bathroom real quick, but we had one bathroom. So we had to share on my sister and I usually shared sometimes but we usually had the same thing for breakfast. So whatever sometimes we'd have oatmeal, sometimes we have cereal sometimes we'd have rice and eggs. It just depended on what was in the cupboard that day. Is that why you took us right that he's growing up. I should like them. I'll still cook it now. Yeah, it's a staple and it keeps you full and that was the goal for that. Time.

03:18 Cuz you know we were I how can I explain our family was poor financially, but we will very rich when it came to relationship because my mom and dad did talk with us about certain things are still certain things about my mom that I don't know but like why you know, well, I mean, I didn't know much about my grandparents. So but and my dad which was you who was I a runaway slave makes it doesn't he gives us a little he gave us a little bit of a story of how he got to Texas and why he was in Texas and you know, basically how he got there and how he had to get up in the morning to go to the free side to go to school so he ran away from you what he was born in you

04:18 Oh, Mississippi, okay, and he was accused of brushing against the white woman. Oh my gosh, so and at that time it was tar and feather. You know, that's yeah. I know I like you get hungry. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you would get tarred and feathered for that. So he had two other brothers and sisters and they didn't want him that to happen to him. So they you know smuggled him out at night. You know, my dad said they stole a chicken in a watermelon and a bicycle and that's what he rode from Yokohama to Houston. Wow on the bicycle and basically kind of fend for himself until you know, he found a job and you know, how you

05:05 Meet people and yeah, yeah and you interact with people and at that time people were very helpful for people who were, you know, looking for a better home, you know, and so he did get a job then met my mom and they got married. Well he retired and he his last job was stationary delivery guy back in those days. They didn't have Office Depot and OfficeMax when you needed supplies, you called the office supply company and they would send it over. I'll bring it over some kind of way and he was the delivery drove the truck to make the deliveries, you know, copy paper. Okay, you know things like that and that's what he ended up going until you know, he passed on

06:05 He passed on if it was at bone cancer was there he died from brain cancer and cancer? My mom died from bone cancer? Okay, and remember, okay. Okay and your favorite memory going up in that house. I mean now if the house is not the house anymore needs because it was what was that her mama? Ya-ya Hurricane Ike I can blow it down. But what was your favorite memory? My favorite memory going up was my dad would always get live chickens alive turkeys and whatever you do for Thanksgiving in for Christmas. I depended on what was at the market at that time and Thanksgiving. He always got a turkey and it would be a lot of turkey and he would kill the turkey but he would put the turkey upon do what you call a foot tub number 3 tub so that it would flutter in the blood wouldn't go everywhere. Okay. Well my job.

07:05 With the sit on the tub from turning over and make a that was fun cuz it felt like a roller coaster, you know, I was little and it was it was a lot of fun and we didn't get to go to carnivals and stuff like that. So you found your joy where you could that's your favorite memory. That's one of my favorite memories again. That was for Thanksgiving. Yeah. Can you also had a baby on Thanksgiving 1975? Okay, my baby Erika and she was born on Thanksgiving day and I called her my turkey baby turkey because I didn't get any Thanksgiving dinner that day. Anyway, he's here. I love her and she still my turkey, baby.

07:59 Well

08:01 You are I mean you've been you know, everybody says I look like you, you know, honestly no easy to look like you I was your sister and I was like, well, you know, they said that you said that I used to be mistaken for her daughter going up instead of yours, but people say I would like to meet you now and I wanted to know like you had you had three children total and don't be upset. I just want to know like if you had a chance to do it again with you have kids like would you like do it do it? Do we know? What do you want to be a mom again? I would be like if you had to rewind everything in like I won't tell Jason I don't I'm 44 and 43 and not 4444 soon. And I don't have children. You know, I don't I never really wanted children. I never I won't get offended of courses.

09:01 Is it yeah, I know I would have yeah, I kind of I would have done it differently or would you have done things differently, you know, if you probably would have waited later. I'm really happy when you were there. I had you when I was 26 I had Jason at 31. Okay. We need to work on your way, but I'll probably would wait later, but it happened the way it happened.

09:34 That you're here. And you know, you can't send kids back. I can't say wait a minute. Go back to give me two more years and me three more years. You have to go there and you have to take care of them the right and no I was just I mean I have women friends who are you know older than me and you're like, you're not actually probably would have had kids his back in the day. You know, that's what women did I was born in 70s, but that was still a lot of pressure for women to have babies and all that kind of stuff and how you envision your life. You know, they always assume that women were supposed. That's how they know how to see their life going but not every woman wants that so I want to know if that was that something you wanted. You know, I just wanted it later later, you know, I wanted kids, but I want to do later but it happened the way it would

10:30 I understand that. Well, I'm glad that you decided to have me. Thank you very much. You're welcome. What do you think that you feel like, you know at 71071 you life has had

10:47 You feel like you've gotten the meaning or feel like it has meaning to it like you felt like you maybe are doing what you want to do or doing what you

10:59 Hasn't been able to do what makes you happy, you know for the most part or if he is not then you know, how do you see changing that to actually feel like okay. I'm going to seize the moment and live my life, you know. Well, you know, I'm past seizing the moment when you 71 you don't just see the moment because you don't get too many moments, you know to cease but you do get a chance to interact with people for periods of time and you learn to accept what comes along with who you make what they do how it affects you and most of all what do you learn from that person or that incident all that?

11:54 Thing that happened in your life, even though you're older, you know, and you've had years of you know, growing up living working having kids making money that kind of have when you're older you kind of seizing the moment to me is like grasping what I can right now and giving what I can right now, you know, I've learned that it's easier and it's better to give than to always be taking. Yeah, you know, so there's some things that I really want to do. I do want to write a book about my life. That I feel like it's so interesting. I just feel like it's something that I need to do and if it helps somebody

12:48 You not to read that book then that would be something that would be fulfilling for me. So you want to tell the story of your life, like what are the major moments that you want to talk about? It's it's a matter of getting over obstacles how I was able to get over obstacles what I how I interacted with people that kind of stuff just kind of give someone else that's maybe going through being a single parent on how to make it through it because it's it's not an easy job at all know and I thank God that I will I had him to depend on and to pray and to talk to because everybody doesn't understand back in the day what single parents go through it's not an easy job because

13:47 You know, one of the hardest things is no telling your kid know when sometimes when you want to say, yeah, and then later on when you look back at that no more minutes. That's the moment. They need it that kid needed the most I remember that's how I'll show you share a memory with you that really I still find fascinating because it sells shows how creative you are. I remember we lived in and I can remember what apartment it was, but it was I think it was in Irving or whatever and all the lights have been turned off.

14:24 And we didn't really that means Jason and I were kids we didn't really know what was really going on. But you let us just jump on the same as all we do each other. I think you may have ordered a pizza. And you said you want to order pizza when I guess we just need to let us jump on the bed like all night until this time in arm. Like that was a lot of fun at that. You know, that one thing that I've always admired about you tend to turn especially when the kids things that were hard hard memories but into fond memories, you know, so it wasn't like I scarring incident or anything. I was always able to find the humor in it, you know, and yeah, I think that's one of the biggest strengths is that you know hard times were hard times, but they tend to be fun time, especially when we're kids.

15:19 You know, so that was there something else. I want to say. I can remember what it is. But that was just one of those memories and you you brought up about being a single parent and being able to not all in one always single. I was the one always a single parent in 10 points in your life. You were you know that what you had a partner but it was always you me and Jason for the most part and I'm yeah, those are just things is growing up that I admired you doing and being a mom and it wasn't that was a time you like that your CDL wasn't this wasn't easy to what was the biggest I can say Aid in getting over the difficult times. I think you had was fun cuz I was a sense of humor.

16:06 You know, what else would you say was your biggest help you say God you mention God, but where there are other things that just helps you get through. There was other things there were people that I met that way, you know going through the same thing and we kind of shared some of the things that we did to get past things and the one thing, you know, I wanted you guys to get from that. Is that no matter how hard it is.

16:38 You know, there's joy in the morning, you know, so you could you do get past that.

16:45 What was your

16:48 What do you most proud of being a black woman raised mostly raise your children mostly by yourself? What was your biggest?

17:01 Like yeah, I did that moment. I was probably many of them few lives to 71 years. But what's your what's your biggest proudest moment?

17:15 I have several.

17:17 I think the one of the the proudest moments I had was watching you and Jason graduate from college to see both of you guys walk across the stage. That was that was a good moment for me.

17:36 I think another proud moment was.

17:41 When Jason decided, you know, okay, I'm going to be a man. I'm getting out of the house. You know, I do this it's going to be okay. That was a good moment. Was it released? What's the weather like?

17:54 I think another problem and I had was when you went off to Peace Corps, I wasn't happy about it. Okay, but it was something that you wanted to do.

18:08 And I felt like you know, you were at the right age to travel to see parts of the world that I never seen. So that made me feel good that you were going to see parts of the world that I hadn't seen but at least you would get that opportunity to do it. I knew financially I couldn't fly you to Morocco or any place I can find myself there to figure out if that was a proud moment to

18:43 And I don't know what the problem I meant was for me to graduate from cuz I was so proud of you you graduated college at what age what was that? The Migos 5959 Oso Friday. I told everybody that you had went back to college as a big deal being now being 43. I'm like, I don't know if I want to come back to school the older and he thinks it's so different now in colleges and going back when you're older as much more as a daunting experience. It doesn't seem you know, so natural and it's honestly set up for older. And so that was a really I was so proud of you and you did that. I really was of course, there's many proud moments as I raced you from, you know, it's just that was really that's a big deal. So I was really proud of you and I'm so proud of you, but I wanted to know what was your big moment for yourself that you are proud of so.

19:43 Graduating college that was a big big deal and having a children graduate college is a big deal for you is what do you what do you in the future? Like, what what goal do you have for yourself in the future? What's near next proud Moment Like. Is it writing the book or is it something else? Have you said any extra goals for you know anything you want to accomplish for the future?

20:13 I would

20:16 I like to ride so after my my book, I would probably write something like

20:28 You know something title getting over humps. I think we can come up with a thought this through, just came came to mind but the getting over a difficult spot on head like that and seeing if maybe what I did and how I did it will help somebody else and that's what I would like to do. Yeah.

21:02 I like to win the PCH sweepstakes Publishers Clearing House for a long time, but it's something that you know, that would help me out cuz I like to travel I have I'm going to ask one more question because I want to make sure that I got a chance just to ask you related to me, but I want to know how I think I know the answer but I'm asking anyway. You know, I was diagnosed with cancer this year and it wasn't easy. So I wanted to know what was your scariest moment. And what was your happiest moment? And what was your

22:00 Peace moment of Peace moment during this fast like six six months or so, like what was your scariest moment, you know like dealing with me and dealing with the situation and stuff well,

22:16 I think the scariest moment was when you went into surgery, you know, it does seem like to me I'm like wondering if she really understanding all this is she getting all this in, you know, and then I think about that Saint Jude commercial where this lady says, you know, one of the worst things you ever heard is that your child has cancer and but you know and it is because you are still my child even though you 43 and it's still not easy, you know, I know it's devastating for a small child, but even fun adult it is a devastating moment and

23:03 Jason kind of help me through it, you know just by being there and hugging me and just you know, Mom if you had given me reassuring words and and we praying together, but just sitting there all those hours that you went surgery because it seemed like every minute was saying okay, it is cancer it. Okay. If every moment every minute that I looked at on the wall on the clock seem to say that which I was hoping wasn't one of those tell you guys that it was cancer. They told us after the surgery.

23:41 And but they said not they needed to confirm it. Okay before they told you but the the surgeon said that that was her diagnosis, you know, and what do you say? Yeah, I mean, there's not much you can say is like what what's the next step? Yeah, you know and that kind of stuff but it's just hearing it is devastating and it's totally devastating so I can imagine how it feel for you. And the next thing that came to my mind. It's okay. I got to be there. I got to be better. I got to feel better. I got up. You know, I've got to be there because sometimes I didn't think you were you know with us.

24:37 You know what I'm saying? You were there but your mind was still trying to wrap your yourself around this at 41 years old, you know, 42 years old this devastating disease and even though I watch my father and my mother go through it, it's still devastating no matter what age which stage I what era it is in your life. Yeah, you know until there's a cure for this thing. It's going to be devastating to everybody and I just went into the prayer total player and I did that for a whole day.

25:19 And when I came out of that I knew everything was going to be alright, so you had yours your mom your dad and I or your daughter it would cancer go through cancer. I don't think I'm going to die of from it. I really don't I don't in everybody's got to die some point. So, you know, I'll say one feature that young age for me, but it's going to happen and I don't want you to think that you know, I'm scared of it at all, you know, but what was your proudest moment or you're at your happiest moment? I think was it like knowing after a prayer at the whole day of prayer that you're going to be? Okay. I was going to be okay or what was your happiest scariest in some areas? Yeah.

26:13 The happiest moment came in two parts when I realized that what God was telling me was that you were going to be? Okay, the second part of that was one you that they announced cancer-free. So that was yeah. That was a happy moment for all three of us. So that would be my happiest moment.

26:40 And we are I guess Pappy's the most peaceful there same thing. But it was there a winner he's full to to know that you got it done what he said and that I could be at peace with that issue in my life and that you would be able to go on with your life as much as you want it to.

27:05 No doubt, you know that was that was a peaceful moment. Thank you. You're welcome for me.

27:15 Well, he had written some stuff to change. OK. What I wanted to know is what you will actually thinking during this whole thing because during the diagnosis and you know, how they walk you through the steps of what you going to do and what they're going to do and what's going to happen. You look like you had a blank expression on your face and something told me I better write this down cuz she's not going to remember. Yeah, I mean, what was I thinking at that point? I'm always thinking. I wish I wasn't here. What I wanted to hear was like we got all the cancer, you know.

27:57 You don't have to come back. All you do is heal from hysterectomy blah blah blah, but what they said was, you know, you have 6 months of chemo to do and you know, they staged you and stuff like that and it had taken all day to even see the doctor, you know, it was a long day and I was happy because that was an early stage which is rare, but at the same time like I really don't

28:24 I really want to do this. I'm just tired of like I don't want to go through chemo for steno months and I don't want to do all that and I didn't want to I just want to live the rest of my life. I was in the hospital for 10 days and then two weeks of you know recovery and then they'll try to go over and all that kind of stuff to see all normal and had a blank expression on my face. I was I okay

28:49 I've got to do this now saw this face to you know, so I mean you get the diagnosis of cancer, but can't some cancers can be purchased by surgery and taking it all out. But you know is like to do it further. We're going to have chemo. So I guess it's just not something, you know what to do with cuz you don't know much about it. You don't know how it going to be affected by that so I'm like, okay, I'm as happy because that meant that it wasn't worse than it was but I just didn't feel like you're wanting to go through chemo and all that kind of stuff. So I mean, I guess it was a happy and it was a mixed moment. It was a nice moment and then trying to listen to all the stuff that's going on and you know, she's a lot of information to take in my but I'm glad I made notes. Yes, you did thank you know, it's really important like when you are patient and you know, you're hearing a diagnosis, you know, you're not going to be able to process everything here.

29:49 Can you hear I will come up with the correct question, you know that you may need to ask so it is actually really important that somebody's there with you. You know, I'm going to take you for being there in a process every time I go to the hospital or a process so

30:10 Did you have any other questions mom and seem to fit anymore? I have them a lot but I think in the last year or the mozzarella my life like what do you mean like what the happiest moment? When what time frame looks in the last year?

30:35 Oh, that's a tough one. It's been a tough year. I think my happiest moment through the year. Did this year has actually been the fact that

30:50 I had peace of mind for the most part. They're many parts of this cancer diagnosis. I felt like, you know, my spiritual teacher was with me. You know, I'm just going to put on right I'm Buddhist. So my spiritual teacher is a Buddhist monk and I never felt as if I wasn't

31:14 Health doubt are protected in some way. I felt like I was at the right hospital at felt. I had a good friend. So I felt like I had my family I felt like I had a lot of

31:24 Things that were so positive to think about that. I didn't feel scared or lot. I think there was moma's definitely where you know, cry or felt anxious or just tired of being at there, but I think this journey has been

31:42 Army shown

31:45 The wealth of my own spiritual practice in the results of that and that has ink has been to happen to still the happiest thing that keeps in my mind. Like I haven't been using my life for

32:01 The incorrect thing. I didn't I wasn't left empty-handed when I got bad news or something like that or do I felt bad? I felt like I had something within me that will help me and it nobody else can do that for you. So I felt like I had to use my life well and had done what I wish I had set out to do with my own personal protection and personal well-being in my own personal happiness, you know, so, you know, there's only recently so much that people can do for you physically, you know, so that was that's been the happiest moments in this field my happiest moments throughout this last 6 months and I don't think without that experience without this cancer makes me so I don't think I would have known that without it.

32:53 You know and that's really important because everybody's got to have a meaning to their life. Everybody's got to have to have a wealth of Peace within himself some type of reassurance some type of mental strength, you know, cuz it's not easy and without without that experience I would have known at all that I had really done some good things for myself, you know, and you don't know that until you're tested with something, you know, and that was a big one. That's a big one and throughout the next year. I'm not in others for the things to do, you know, like in March. I have the genetic testing with my history with both, you know, Grandma and Grandad having cancer some form of it, and I don't know about the paternal side of my family. I don't know what's waiting for me, you know, so you do.

33:53 Really, you know like we have one cancer. There are more likely to have others. So like what do you mean? Oh, what do you do with that? We have the information and what if it comes back? Yeah with likelihood that you're going to have another cancer in the future what he did so I don't like rap my don't stay up at night worrying about it. But you know, there's other things that you know, this is a part of your life for a while and you know, so it's so that's been the happiest.

34:24 Moments of this past year is based in that understanding.

34:32 You know one of my happiest moments as last month was to hear you talk more because you're not a big talker.

34:44 You know and I got you people say that you don't okay. I got to hear exactly how you felt and as always question that you know,

35:02 So but I'm glad they're glad that we went through this together. I wouldn't want to do it again. It was it was there for a reason and you know, I feel like

35:19 We came out better.

35:22 Yeah, we are on different spiritual pass, but we came out better.

35:28 I think you're right. I made some good this I think I made some decisions at that point in time till like to do better in certain areas of my life, you know, and it's it's been a really wide spiritual teacher says like, you know for Spiritual practitioner difficult times aren't bad actually difficult times feed their spiritual practice and improve you so it's not something for Spiritual partridges be afraid of, you know, cuz you use it to be better yet. I feel like that, you know, it's been a blessing. I believe that the test that I went through with God as to how do I make it through with him? I accomplished that and I learned so much about him.

36:17 Yeah, and my spiritual life so that made me stronger good. I'm glad thank you Mama for doing this. You're welcome. Dragging me out Saturday morning. Well, we're going to be our Sight & Sound good at all.