Eva Nye and Karin Abercrombie

Recorded November 11, 2020 Archived November 11, 2020 43:47 minutes
0:00 / 0:00
Id: chi003396

Description

Karin Moen Abercrombie (62) interviews her colleague Eva Nye (49) about her immigration journey from Sweden, navigating breast cancer and family life during the pandemic, and her work as an educator, artist and member of the Chicago Art Girls.

Subject Log / Time Code

E talks about her journey to the U.S. at the age of twenty-one, being inspired by nature and traveling for her work, romanticizing Sweden, and K also shares her experience moving back to the U.S. at the age of twenty-two and the home they've established.
E talks about how she has navigated her diagnosis of breast cancer during the pandemic, and the support she has received from her family.
E talks about her volunteer work making a thousand masks, being part of the Chicago Arts Girls, and supporting other communities by donating to charity.
E talks about how her family's dynamic has changed, her husband's support while treating breast cancer, and reflects on the importance of regular mammograms.
E reflects on the healing process as adults, and talks about her experience with the Hoffman Process: "We are not out patterns; we learn to survive as children."

Participants

  • Eva Nye (b. 1971)
  • Karin Abercrombie (b. 1958)

Recording Location

Virtual Recording

Venue / Recording Kit

Partnership Type

Outreach

Transcript

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00:02 Hi, I'm Karen Abercrombie. And I live here in the Chicagoland area. I've been here for 40 years and I'm 62 years old and I'm really excited today to talk to my friend. Evanni about some of our own waste of WF connected with both America in Sweden after been living in Sweden and growing up and then moving here. So if I do I'll let me know a little bit about you.

00:28 Yeah, sure. But my name is Giovanni would be me and Swedish but Nye and the United States and I live in Batavia, Illinois, which is about an hour west of Chicago and I Am the Artist and stay at home mom.

00:47 So you and I have known each other now for I don't know 10 years or something maybe even longer as I started working at the Swedish. And if I was one of our sweetest language teachers and one that everybody loved working with what you know, I moved to the United States after school because I wanted to explore a little bit about the U.S. And learn the language with the full intention of going back to Sweden to grow up. But here I am 40 years later. So what made you move to the United States?

01:25 So yeah, I forgot to say I'm 49 and I moved here when I was 21 when I was 18. I met an American when I had a summer job in high school. And so I would say that I didn't move here for love as well as I went to a school called Ray College of design and I studied fashion design and so I came here for love and then divorced the state. I have been here so long that longer than I have lived in the United States and there's so many things that I do enjoy by the United States and I feel like it's a it's a better market and a better place to be an artist for hat on sweetheart. And the reason I came here.

02:14 Yeah, and we at the Museum where I work or indefinitely enjoying all your artistic talents by having t-shirts that we can sell whatever has to sign a specially-designed several things for a song inspiration cuz I am more than you know, practical type of person than the artist person who always inspired by people that artist.

02:40 Well, there are several things. I mean in terms of pre pandemic like one of my biggest thing is traveling this going to different countries and and experience in different cultures. And so a lot of my designs are not Swedish per se even though I do to sign for the Swedish American Museum as well as the gift shop here in Geneva, but I I am inspired by nature animals and pretty much I want the Arts and the things that I make to have people feel good about wearing them. It could be like a little quirky you find the sign or it could be something that so many people here are proud of their Swedish Heritage. So if they see something that they're relating to like a dollar horse or something like that. So those are some of the things they inspire me.

03:40 And butterflies, I think when I say butterfly in them with something else so from nature so does nature often come into what you do.

03:52 Yeah, I do feel like there are messages around us that we might not necessarily be aware of but if you quiet your mind and you go out in nature and this is something I have done even more during the living up in Batavia. I think that has really saved me from feeling more stress than it could have is to just be outside and watch a river or hear birds or squirrels. Like they just kind of speak to my soul and so in terms of my designs, I also incorporate yoga images and I'm inspired by Asian cultures as well. So yeah, it's a little bit of mismatched but that you're allowed to come.

04:39 Yeah, I know and you came pretty much to the U.S. It's in about the same time. I was 22 when I moved here. So, you know 40 years get me 262 and it's amazing how fast the time flies and I don't have to say that the older I get a nose after having children and my daughter is not 27, and I know your children are younger the connection back to Sweden became really important for me to be able to surround I love where I live. I love Chicago but the Heritage to make sure that she have a little bit of both and that she's proud of being both Swedish and American

05:22 Has that affected you mean remember talking about the Billy? That's true. We haven't so I do speak Swedish to my children and I do want them to remember me singing to them and Swedish and I do want them to feel a connection even to their grandparents are that they don't get to see that often. So for me, they are getting older and that's maybe the the biggest part that I want them as they get older to have to go there and be able to speak Swedish in the stores. Unfortunately that they speak mostly English back to me.

06:01 But I think that there is a passive knowledge that they have from just hearing and hearing the pronunciation and and maybe seeing some Swedish shows and that stuff but yet I feel like moving away from Sweden in a way. I kind of romanticize we then I don't know. If you do the same memories of growing up there the nature the water the having a summer house and even going back there because every time I go back I'm on vacation, you know, I don't go back there I go back to to have fun, right? So I don't know if you have the same thing that like if you actually moved back to Sweden it if that's something that you have ever considered doing. How do you feel about that? No, I actually have not considered moving back. I feel I feel very fortunate to have both countries to be part of my home.

07:00 And when I made the decision to pretty much stay here was about 8 to 10 years into living in the US and I'm fortunate that I was born in Los Angeles citizenship since birth and never had any legal issues. When I first moved here the twenty-two-year-old. I just had the same issue as everybody else to make enough money that I could pay for my rent in my food in early on that was definitely some challenges and then you know, you see have a little bit more of a rocky path in my past. I would say that if I had stayed in Sweden should have gotten it from being a preschool teacher which is what I went to school to 2, but I'm moving to Administration and not do things. Well here. Yes. I was a preschool teacher that need moved into accounting and controller and surrounding companies in and I've been running the museum for 14 years and total combined my Swedish Heritage with that. So I'm

07:58 I'm probably fortunate in the sense that I feel like.

08:03 I make what wherever I live my home and the challenges are going to be challenges. If you live in Sweden, or if you live in the US and the harder part has been as my parents passed away and it was all of a sudden just my sisters and I that were the oldest generation and how do we keep sort of that connection for our daughter? We have one daughter and that she sort of feel that connection to her Swedish Heritage, but I think we almost have the best of both worlds. We live here and we can go back to us on vacation. That's fine. So when you go back to Sweet and where do you go?

08:45 I'm so I often go my my younger sister or you know, we're not young anymore any one of us, but my mom and my sisters live in Gothenburg outside Gothenburg where I grew up on the west coast and then my older sister is up in Stockholm and if we have our home in Darlington, so do the middle of it where my dad grew up so we still have we can call it the summer home what we call it the cabin basically but at the house and we can live in we could be here but it's wonderful to sort of go. It's like night and day compared to Chicago and even our daughter Catherine loves going there because it's so different from the the life that you lived lived in Chicago. She's not in Texas, but she loves her home, but Sweden is very much her home. So we sort of travel around Gothenburg is the home to go to

09:42 And the have a very you have a nice relationship with my sister. So we sort of we are the family at this point and took care of it after our parents passed away and they passed away when we were pretty young. I was bomb has been gone for over 20 years at this point. So I was just a little bit over 40 years old and my dad prior to that so, you know, we reconnected as family and I think that is what's really important is how you connect with family and regardless of where you live your family is going to be your family.

10:17 And I think you feel a little bit about the same cuz I've seen it was really good about social media postings different than I am and are able to express some of your feelings. I think that way

10:31 Yeah that social media. It's my therapy.

10:37 I'm very open about your relationship to your family if you're living here.

10:48 What if I'm going to be completely honest because it was almost like a flood here at my parents did not have a good marriage growing up. So I was 18 when I met a man who is 27 and it was almost like I divorce my family in that sense. But since then there's been a lot of healing and my parents got divorced and they're both way happy not living together. So it's like my father actually were supposed to go see him this year for his 80th birthday and we had a Baltic Cruise then that got cancelled now because of the pandemic or I should say postponed cuz I'm hoping maybe next year I can go and my mom is the one thing that I'm so grateful for is that she 78 and she's very active, you know, very typical Swedish lifestyle of out everyday walking into golf.

11:48 And she spent a lot of time outside. I miss my sister and I think now and I'm just putting the cards on the table. I was a month ago. I was diagnosed with breast cancer. So that has been a part where I cannot involve my family and helping me or being part of taking care of my kids or there's going to be treatments. I already started 2 weeks ago and then surgery and so that's difficult because my sister is

12:20 The most loyal person in my life, you know, she lives in Sweden and she has two children and she would be here now if you have a good overall, I am extremely lucky person. I'm just so grateful that I have my sister and even though it's you do long-distance right now. You are an amazing strong woman because you have I know about the current situation, but you've also dealt with other things in your family end.

12:50 You're an inspiration to many of us ever in the but if you do as we are dealing with these things and you are clearly feeling and and many of us are there with you as much as we can and would you know, how many of these situations in a different way of doing it? I just feel it goes back to the time. But you think about the people that came over so I have grandparents or I have relatives to my Gray Brothers. They came over.

13:29 I've never had that opportunity to talk to their.

13:33 To talk to you know, their family the way we can talk to our family.

13:41 I would have to say it. You know, so now I don't feel as lonely when they are difficult things like that because at least I can pick up the phone or I can do a call and I can see the faces on my sisters and and the strength of deck together where they didn't have that in in the early days. So even though we both been here since we were 20 early 20s, I came a little bit earlier than you and there's like a dollar a minute to call at home and expensive tears there like three or four hundred.

14:21 Ignore my parents lived in the US when I was born obviously and they didn't really do many phone calls back and photos may be at Christmas time, but my grandparents my grandpa's brother's didn't have any of that. It was the letters back and forth. So it is amazing how we as I think people that move from one country to another are able to adapt to the new stuff and because of different technology and and the age changes how were able to

14:54 Be connected in a different way.

14:58 No, I have one question about connecting two people. Have you ever experienced that use sometimes connect more to people who are not necessarily from Sweden but who are also immigrants?

15:10 They're also in.

15:12 Immigrant from another country

15:19 I don't connect on a regular basis with my friend and my friends in Sweden just my sister's cuz they are my family but it's easy to connect with someone here that has moved here from somewhere else in this group. We all know living in Chicago there. Lots of people that have moved here from other countries.

15:39 You know this whole story or situation our story today is connected through Chicago Cultural Alliance, which I feel very fortunate that were part of so that we haven't even had an easier time to connect with people that are been that I've moved here from other countries and how we're trying to adapt and Mel.

16:01 Backgrounds in a cultures with the American. I mean, I would say I'm very much in Swedish American very strong on this we decide it's like, you know, you do not say anything negative about a sweet yet. I'm very American. It's the one I have Swedish friends with sitting and they are sold out criticizing something. That's America. No critiquing. I'm like, what are you talking about? This is perfect. And I think that's how we can select jump back and forth a little bit.

16:30 Why you have to be so, you know, your heart is split because you're you still loving sweet on your loving United States island in the middle that has the best of the both worlds are we can all live there happily ever after but it's in my face, but you know our daughter you talked about the to talk Swedish with your son's which I think is wonderful. We did the Swedish with our daughter until she was about two and a half and then we had okay cuz I went back to work and outside of the home when she was just five weeks old and I did not want to pack her up and take her somewhere. So we decided to do the affair roots of having someone in a cantar live with us since my husband is a little bit older. They got the sweetest friend in me, and then they got a new dad in Indian.

17:30 Great combination for Katherine to have someone you know someone else live with us, but when the appearance went back to Sweden, she basically looked at me and she goes no more Swedish mom because she had already figured out that it was a different language and her dad could not participate in those discussion and being two working parents. The only time we were home or when we were home together, you know what it was very little time that she and I had without dad being around. So we

18:05 She can play me now, even though she was the one that refused to be part of it that all is you know is regretting I think a little bit that I didn't persist in sticking to the Swedish. So even though they speak English to your back.

18:24 Later in life. They will be very happy that mom sucks to her little Swedish side of her.

18:32 Yeah, I'm very stubborn so that would serve me well.

18:38 Perhaps at least in my my Heritage. I think there's both some good and some are some good things that we can find in it that we were able to connect with people like this. We don't have to drive to see each other we can do it on the computer and I don't think in the past we would have thought about doing an interview or talking to each other on the computer. It wasn't in person. How is that affected your work? Because you know, like you said your trial used to travel and stuff. So I mean, how are you at work as an artist during this time.

19:24 Yeah, so I think the biggest challenge has been because for 7 months I had no daycare with a two-year-old and a four-year-old that's quite difficult to get.

19:38 But I gave myself permission to take them out every day on bike ride. So a lot of my art turn into photography and writing does I could still take photos when I was out with them and you know using social media, like I feel like I am a messenger like I wanted people to be able to find beauty everyday even whatever is going on in life. So that's something that I do I write and I take photos and also early on when I found out that there was need for face masks. I made a bunch of mess and I donated them and then after that I realized that I could also pick up my income was very much affected by dependent make I made some specific for Swedish Heritage send some with messages on them and beautiful fabric. So I made a thousand facemasks. That's pretty much what I used to pimp.

20:38 And and in addition to you know, I designed a t-shirt for your dollar down, you know donated my time like that and I belong to a group of women in Chicago. We going to the Chicago are girls and there are incredible wife talented entrepreneurial women in the group and one woman. She organized on her own because most of the art fairs were cancelled. She organized couple of art shows in Oak Park that I participated in and rather than having a booth fee to pay be donated a percentage of ourselves to a charity that we picked. So for example, one of them was Neva the national independent venue Association and trying to help, you know, stage performers because so many artists have been affected by the pain Dominic

21:31 I also have friends and Luke who's incredible. She is a daily sketching Journal woman has been doing that for probably 20 years or more and he's doing classes online and sharing her Joy of dogs catching every day. I have another friend of mine Lori Rabil go she a handmade with this glass and she made an incredible glass piece, you know, I don't know the exact name, but you know say their names and they all has black people who were killed by police their faces on blast and I just am so inspired by friends of mine are artists. And so even if I haven't been able to be out there and do as much in person, I have never had so many sales on Etsy before

22:29 Yeah, I can't believe that you made a thousand masks. I try to fit in the evening and it's like maybe one day a week if I can even have the energy but you know what it is that you do a whole bunch at a time. And then what we did here at the Museum we donate at our time to sell masks at the store. It's a healthy for everybody. But now that's wonderful.

22:57 And how about you like it was seeing the see him clothes for a month or two and then you have to have specific regulations for people to come in. I think it was it mid-march. I was the day before the election in March that we decided, you know, that was when this and then they are stay-at-home order started that week and I don't think we were able to open until early June and that at that time the only thing we could open What's the store we were able to curbside pickup off food and I was really concerned about the food we had and if we were going to have to throw out everything so we really got on the curbside food pick up quite quickly.

23:38 And had people order and then in May and I at least you know, I added baking Swedish cinnamon rolls on Friday. So pick up in the afternoon and have added cookies stuff like that to it also message Emery Chicago and how to switch to them. But early July mid-july we were able to open the first and second floor, but you know is Children's Museum is closed. We did look into what it would take to try to open the Children's Museum, but with all the wood we have there was one just didn't work out. I know there couple Children's Museum that I've tried to open but they have different types of environment and different types of you know, how the rooms look and see if it is the most important for us to make sure that everybody's feeling safe and so far we don't get many visitors to the museum probably get some people that come in

24:38 Buy something in the store and we sort of encouraged them to go on look at the Swedish dad's photos we have on the first road Gallery even just to take a look and feel like they can be connected to the museum and that's been a great extent it to have which is a photography exhibit by you want death run about dads taking advantage of the parental leave in Sweden and being with Redman. There's some amazing photos in there. We actually use the fence out by a parking lot to put a couple of the photos out there to survive encourage people to come and see it in and of course, you know, it's some of our local members come and just take a walk around the second floor because that's their way of connecting back to their Heritage a little bit and some of them just gets a lot of peace out of walking through when reading a portion of the exhibit, but it's not at all the

25:33 The visitor numbers that we normally have and then all of our programs are on.

25:38 So some of that so have you been teaching Swedish High? Yeah. I'm not me not me, but the teachers are

25:47 Oh, no, that's great. Yeah, they quickly moved online and I'm not sure that you know that you people that are now are teachers. But yeah, they adjusted we even moved our Svenska. Skolan. So the school for the sweetest children removed online and in its

26:08 People connecting the different way what's been fun is that we did we had a book club, you know, everybody does book to book club. So like okay we need to do our own book about different types of Swedish Swedish American books, and then we started watching TV series and we watch it on our own and then we discuss it online and I started a practice Swedish group so far all these adults that new little bit of Swedish and wants to hear other people speak we meet now, it's like every other week on Sat on something Saturday and that group of people feel like they know each other the people from St. Louis from Utah from Michigan Minnesota and they still have Kinect on this Zoom picture and I've gotten to know each other cuz we have talked about our neighborhoods. We've talked about why were you in the U.S. And that's been really fun and I don't think we would have ever started something like that if the pain.

27:08 And I need for figuring out different ways of connecting with people. And so the buy side of that is really that, you know going forward we have to figure out how to use this online auction along with in person cuz we do miss seeing people in in person and but it's been it's been fun to be able to do that. And I talked a lot with the other directors of the other Scandinavian museums in the US and we've also seen that that the the barriers of the bridges are narrowing a little bit. So if there's it all depends on what time of the day and which program someone connects to

27:49 But there's just we don't charge for most of these the sweetest language classes we charge for but it's just it's a different way and we're going to still be here. We're still connecting working with our next-door building so we can have a store Anna Cafe and have a little Courtyard. So when everybody can be back out to the game, you have to come back down and see what has changed down here.

28:21 What is the one thing that you really look forward to her personally and professionally after the pain. Make has you know, it's under contract think.

28:35 What I know one of the things I really look forward to it is being able to see the children, and just really enjoy being part of A Bronx Children's Museum of immigration and see their expressions. They are exploring with their own sort of energy what they can do and in and go back in time and being part of the museum as a whole but also part of the Children's Museum, I think on a personal level. I'm looking forward to being able to go and see my daughter, you know, we're just now realizing that both Thanksgiving and Christmas together and was able to come here in August and work remotely for a month.

29:17 Has she had been quarantined? I'm pretty much in Texas and then drove here. So we were able to be with her and you know, if they say you supposed to be distant, but you can't not had your daughter when she shows up at your door after 14 hours of driving. So that was really special but I haven't started hitting me the other day when she said, you know, Mom I'm going to miss not being with you. So I'll be able to encode be able to go to Sweden and be with my family and

29:47 So I think you know, I'm not hurting right now. We're doing fine. Everyone is healthy as far as in as far as the pandemic is concerned. We've all been able to stay away from that but not being able to be together the same way as we would have liked you.

30:07 The longer this goes on the more that is so demanding packed on me personally.

30:14 Were you supposed to be in Sweden this year? We had not planned on going to summer cuz we were home with Christmas which was so fortunate so that yet this summer was fine. But now he's starting to look at next summer me what's going to happen? And you know, I also work at the under it won't work. I'm also the honorary consul for Sweden. So we get a lot of these questions and a lot of you know back and forth with how can I go back home? Yes, we can go home and but if you're not an American citizen or have a green card for a special you can't come back.

30:49 So they just limit those things but overall I think I'm just I've been fortunate that I can go to the museum and work. So it's not like I've just been at home the whole time and in the beginning of just had to check on the building and making sure nothing was happening to the building here but asked that continued it was a nice break to really have that work life balance.

31:16 Is now I hear other people that's like okay, we're so happy we can leave the house and go out and see people but you know it is so are you all able to work from home or

31:34 So thankfully my husband ever since March has worked from home and he works for Aldi it guy and he's only been in a few times to the office. So his life actually hasn't changed that much you I'm the one who used to have three days a week of daycare and did not have that for seven islands. However, we choose to put our oldest before year old back in preschool out here in Geneva Ice Age 3 days a week so I can have this conversation in Torani syrup and as of a month ago or so, I did talk to a neighbor nearby to see if she could watch our youngest which is been very helpful. Especially now going through chemo. I don't have the same energy.

32:34 And to have two toddlers, I do need some time to rest. But thankfully I have have handled it really. Well. I've only had one tomorrow is my second treatment, but this would have been way more difficult if my husband had to go to work.

32:51 So there are times when he's been able to watch the children and I could run out and do an errand or I can go to a an appointment at any now in one month. I've had a lot of medical appointments already and I've had surgery and so that's that was one of those like we've been so healthy nobody's had any colds or fevers. Do you know we've been very careful not seeing other people and washing our hands and then let's try a little cancer. I can joke about it because that's life, right you you have to find humor in everything but the yeah, it was definitely a shock.

33:36 But I'm hoping the way I look at life is that I'm hoping in five years. I will think about it as I was lucky like we say in Sweden to the news that you have luck in your in your unlock. So if if he had happened sooner, I might not had my kids.

33:56 You know if if he had happened later at might have caught it too late, you know, it's like these things I wouldn't wish it on anybody but one out of eight women will have breast cancer in their life.

34:11 And you know first I'm thinking about it's not in my family. I don't have the gene. I exercise for five times a week. I'm not overweight, you know, all these things that I thought made me safe, but there are plenty of women who get their in their 20s and 30s and

34:27 And had no idea. So yeah, so social media. I'm putting out there get your mammogram if there do, you know, don't wait if I had skip this year.

34:40 The oncologist said is saved my life that I went to have my manners mammogram this year. It was clear last year and not to minimize what you're going through but I just had to text for my older sister who had breast cancer a couple years ago and she just found another lump and she was fortunate to be able to get in on a quick emergency visit and now she will know her result in 2 weeks, but she's like you're absolutely right mammogram and keep it there are things that been in the unluckiness all things that happened things that we can do to minimize.

35:24 What we have to go through so

35:27 Your thoughts are definitely with you and

35:31 You're amazing. I said that in a I still think so and you don't keep it up there. So I didn't think this has been really fun to be able to talk a little bit on a one-to-one basis. Then I don't think you and I have done since way before your children or and in the early days of you being a Swedish language teacher here and getting to know a little bit about it and when you got three married and you got your children and all that stuff, I mean it's been a few things that has happened in both of our Lives. My daughter was already born in, Minnesota.

36:13 What do you have to look forward to but the life brings both Joy and the

36:21 Maybe not Joy bin some challenges to us all in the

36:26 Just I really really appreciate that. I got a chance to

36:30 It's a know you a little bit more and we're both of us to be able to share what it is to move to a new country as a twenty-year-old.

36:39 Because it was clearly sometimes I'm like, I'm crazy to do this.

36:43 Would I give up not a chance?

36:48 And I might so what do you think? Are are your biggest strengths?

36:54 One of my strength my fortunate ways is that whatever comes my way. I'm going to deal with it and I seldom.

37:06 Hang myself when you don't get stuck on what could have been or what should have been.

37:12 I have lots of energy fortunately and I just add hours and energy to what I have to do to get to the next level in very fortunate that I met my husband and at a time. I mean I was going to be fine on my own.

37:31 But I'm at my husband. He's older than I am by we still decided to have a family together. And you know, we have a daughter that is brought lots of joy to both of us into our family and

37:47 There's just very few things that I wish I'd done differently.

37:54 That's amazing. You know, I don't even know if I have a to-do list or they have their bucket list. I don't have a bucket list. Actually. I just whatever I'm able to do. I'm happy to be able to do that and sometimes things found in our lap that we hadn't really been. I mean, I feel so fortunate that I've been able to be part of this museum for the last 14 years and hopefully for a few more years and connecting to do so many people that I've been going through some of the same things that I've gone through and being Swedish American War II 3rd generation and be able to learn what they have, you know done in their life. So on that note what are some of the things that you feel, you know, especially lucky about a war if there any regrets

38:52 What if I'm going to say is that after five years of infertility we were able to have a family, you know, those were some of my most difficult years to be lucky to have children in my Workforce.

39:09 Yeah, I like Miss think outside the box and then and I actually also both my husband and I have to throw this in because it was life-changing for both of us last year. We both did something called the Hoffman process and it's a very deep digging emotional spiritual week that you work on patterns that are not serving you in your life. So we both did that before the pandemic. So I feel extremely lucky that we were able to do that. And one thing I would say is in terms of myself to like I find Joy everyday.

39:51 I can say that I have cancer but I'm really happy that makes crazy right but but most things are really good. You know, there's something everyday and and one thing that I've learned and this is something that I did not get from my upbringing is that I allow all feelings and that's something I would say it like usually we don't feel bad about it because we feel bad we feel bad about how we feel about how we feel like we put a judgement like I shouldn't feel this way or why am I still feeling this way or other people don't feel this way. So why do I feel this way rather than allowing and having compassion with ourselves and say, you know, what's right now, this is what I'm feeling and maybe she'll curiosity rather than judgments to yourself and others like that to me has been

40:47 I feel lucky like knowing that and feeling that because they helps me everyday.

40:55 Many of us would benefit from remembering that

41:01 And then we are not our patterns.

41:05 That a lot of those things we have learned our this is not our Spirits. This is something that if we learn to survive as children are in in Rebellion to our parents or to be in love by them, and if they are helping you and bringing you Joy and bringing you success and whatever you want in life, that's helpful. But if they are interfering with your joy, then then you could separate them from yourself, there's processes to do that. So I'm very lucky that it went through the Hoffman process since I will remember that one day.

41:52 CA

41:55 In

41:58 Moved in on one of my final or not final thoughts here, but I think that both of us have had the fortune to to figure out how to

42:12 Become Americans. So does that mean I know American from Birds, but you know emotionally I've become an American as I've lived here and participated in this life. I know you talked about that you feel like you and stuff like that and I don't regret that all moving here. I'm very happy. Yeah, there's sometimes my mind goes like what would have happened if I stayed in Sweden, is that ever happened to you?

42:42 What I do think if I had seen in Sweden whatever happened to it's like there's something environmentally that affected me here. I have had that thought but I'm here now. This is no I don't have that regret this part of my life. It's my journey and this is from a child. I was afraid of staying over at my friend's house when I was little and then I moved to the United States 21, so

43:06 I come a long way. But yeah, you know, I'm very grateful and I'm grateful for knowing you grateful for having the opportunity to work with a Swedish Americans me too and it is wonderful how the museum is connecting us regardless of where from Sweden we are at what age we are or our backgrounds that all we are the the museum definitely service that face which is a wonderful thing for all of us.

43:41 Thank you.