Fargo Blair and Chad Acker

00:02 Hi, my name is Chad Acker. I am 37 years old today's date is Friday, March 13th, 2020. We are here in Bakersfield, California. And I'm going to be interviewing Fargo Blair and I'm connected to him by I am as case manager.

00:26 Hi, my name is Fargo Blair. I'm 70 years old today's date is Friday, March 13th, 2024 in Bakersfield, California and my interview Ruby Chad Acker.

00:44 So Fargo I ever I wanted to bring you here cuz I wanted to you have a very interesting story you're in or you're 70 years old. You've lived a long life ups and downs and kind of want to just to get you just talk about it and get some more information from it.

01:04 Okay. Well, I think the best place to start would be from the beginning of my life because it All Began there in some way. I hope this is conspiring to somebody out there. I'm sure have gone through similar circumstances. It's been a rough road to say the least but so I'll start with basically birth on.

01:33 I was born a preemie. I think I weighed 3 lb was in.

01:38 In the hospital for six months before I got to go home and got home to my mother and father. My father is a violent alcoholic and so childhood is extremely difficult. I'll just mention some of the things that the events that I remember probably three to four years old. We weren't allowed to speak.

02:04 If we ask a question, we get slapped in the face and we weren't allowed to play with anyone or have anyone over the house.

02:17 Who else?

02:19 I just remember the different circumstances one was.

02:25 I don't know if I was three or four I got ran over by a car hit me in the head Isaac Park and I ran in front of it and blood was everywhere. And the reason I mention that is because

02:43 When my mother saw she wasn't concerned about me. She's concerned about what my father would do to her for not taking keeping better. Watch that stayed in my mind because there was a lack of real concern there.

02:59 I recall when my dad tried to teach me to tie my shoes again. I moved to Bakersfield when it's 5 so I don't know if I've had three or four I remember way back though. So he sent me on the cell phone so far. Do you going to learn to tie your shoes? It's about time. So he pulled a chair up in front of me and my little legs course would even reached the end of the sofa and I just saw his hand twist around a shoestring things. He said now you do it so quick. I didn't know how to do it. I just wish it just rings and hope for a miracle or any way every time I missed who is Batman real hard to face and that will continue for quite some time. I don't remember it ever stopping.

03:43 So I just remember this lapse in them and how frightened I was.

03:50 We were really poor.

03:52 My dad was in the Navy and the Army when he got out of work as a a cowboy for $30 a month. So we were really poor real poor guy. So Cowboy like he was just hurting her cat Olivia and then Mom stayed at home. So yeah.

04:11 MyPay they were 26 years old when I was born. Neither. One of them was educated didn't care about education, especially in those days. I think they both have like a third grade education.

04:31 I'm over that will like I didn't go to school. Okay, how come I don't know they just didn't put me in school. I remember my brother 8 years older than me and sister two years older than me and my dad mom drop us off at movie theater.

04:52 And I could never been in one or I hadn't and move. It happened to be Frankenstein real scary as it happened. So my dad told my brother to stay with his he didn't he saw some friends he went and sat with him.

05:09 I was so involved in the movie and frightened. I didn't pay attention to my sister won't she got kidnapped? I don't know took her behind the curtain and raped her and they had a very hard time finding her. Well, my dad beat my my brother after death, you know for not staying with us and that was a frightening thing cuz I know how you eat beet if you didn't spend cuz he beat us for instance.

05:35 He was out in the backyard chopping some wood and

05:41 My mom said that he wanted me out there with him.

05:44 So I went out there and he said something but I was again too frightened to ask what because you wouldn't speak.

05:53 So I thought you said

05:55 Go in the house.

05:58 I got to go in the house and he thought I was disobeying him. I don't really know what he said, but he took off his other belt is always and wrapped around my ankles and jerk me up in the air and he started beating me and I just remember seeing his hand come up and down up and down up and down hitting me.

06:19 To the point to where I actually had an out-of-body experience. Suddenly. I was floating above me above the whole scene. I could see him hitting me and I can see my face on the ground looking up and lie on the ground.

06:36 Chad nice smile in like saying to me it's okay.

06:40 And so that was a strange experience but clothes probably to going out what was high school like

06:52 Well

06:54 It was it was good. I was a wrestler and in very popular let them.

07:01 Before wrestler here in Bakersfield, but they divorced and we moved to Bakersfield with her family. My mother's family is okay, and they were all

07:16 I want a redneck picture again no education for aunts and uncles and she had Jim brothers and sisters and all were extremely immoral environment.

07:28 And pervert. I had a large cousins older bigger. I was very sick all the time cuz I'll factor. I was driving around nutrition. My mother never cook one meal from five years old up that one meal. So I I lived on. Coke bottles and such to get Andy Dwyer record yet.

07:57 It was very difficult my first day in Bakersfield. We went to my grandmother's and she said you were going to meet your cousin at the End of the Street. He's coming from school. He's waiting for you.

08:09 So I guess he he saw me he was taking me to my grandma's house where there was a field and being older and bigger tough as you can get these guys did not fight like children if I like grown men and they love to hurt you. But anyway, he took me there and made me take my clothes off and Exedra my first experience with the family.

08:36 It went that way my whole childhood. I was constantly beating criticized. I never had.

08:46 Kind words spoken to me my aunts and uncles

08:52 Resented me. So did the cousins I thought about this my entire life. Why would they hate me so much. But one thing I did have a father to take care of me my mother I never saw her shoot. We looking a little 400 square-foot track and she never came home all these years. She never spent one night at home.

09:13 And those nights were terrifying because the older cousins would come in and make me do things and beat me.

09:21 It was really bad lower back sharp. Yeah and

09:28 Show

09:31 I will help you overcome all that.

09:34 Well, it's just the desire to survive, you know, you can do it. You can take a lot when your child probably more than one you're at home. She did get married we married and he was a

09:49 Perverted alcoholic. No, but he was molesting my sister and he hated me to Freddy. Wish if you had a son you never wanna be like me.

10:02 I believe the reason my aunts and uncles did not like me. They said they thought I was a bad influence when their son did something. They said it was Fargo's in front. Of course the opposite was true, but I believe they were jealous because I was here very honest when I used to walk down the street during summer and stuff. I would probably very sad.

10:29 What is the one thing I did was pray to God David.

10:35 Let me be a good band honest moral and it happened. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

10:49 Disgusted me a great deal, even though I was a little child and I think the one thing that helped me survive was to three times. I went to church with my grandmother and I really felt good and she gave me a Bible course I couldn't read but I would lay on the floor of my heart.

11:09 Russell comfort

11:13 I never really went to school. I went finally when I was there. They put me in first grade. I didn't even know what school was I never heard the word. So the first day of school you guys are singing The Pledge of Allegiance. Do they know this? This is the first day of school. I don't understand cuz I realize it was a kindergarten but it made me feel really vulnerable at home. I never felt worthy of anything and by time I got to Bakersfield the three of us were ready made victims. We were taught that we didn't matter or voice shouldn't matter what we cared about didn't matter. We had no right to speak.

11:56 So my mother she worked at a poker club hamburgers and such for the house.

12:06 So which wasn't working she was playing poker. So I never had breakfast or lunch or dinner ever cooked or anyting she never gave me an expression of love. You know, she never gave me a hug and if something didn't go right but it's my fault for her or not. She would slap me in the face. For instance. You tried to drive the car and a stick shift she going to do it, but she tried anyway, it was dark quite humorous. Really.

12:47 Cystic, the circassians cigarette lighter Sparks flew everywhere. She turning me into a GED Fargo you made me do that and Bam Bam Bam, and I thought it was really funny. Cuz so when did you start kind of heading out on your own and do well on stuff IO.

13:12 From the time that she married my step dad when I was five and Not only was he molested my sister, but he was abusive to me. He was abusive to my mother David fight and everything very frightened of him.

13:28 So I began sleeping outside in feels under.

13:36 Tumbleweeds I climbing tree and turn myself in with the belt. I didn't want to be found because I was almost kidnapped three times. I was just walking at night. I would walk into the daylight. I couldn't go to sleep and fighting it. I said Dad to come in the house and find me and I used to hide in the closet and cover up shoes and stuff. They found me. And so I never slept in the house cuz I was outside trying to stay safe. I never took a shower. I was afraid that he would catch me in the shower. So I was really dirty and extremely sick. I have pneumonia double pneumonia or bronchitis twice a year.

14:22 Fighting immune system must have been really

14:25 Some bad as ice constantly sick, but when I was in high Charlotte High School, I was only 4 foot 11 and I weigh 280 lb to hear wrestling you and I wrestled 285, but I was waiting I had to fight everyday of my life everyday. Usually I have to fight five of the conversation around me. So I hated me and kicking me, but he wanted more on your own cuz you beat me up really good. I need it. And so you were where you going to church at this time? When did you start going to church or after? I was married?

15:05 And when did you meet your wife when I went to high school high schools in first time? I actually ever went to school in elementary school. I never went I went to my first day of elementary school first grade. I brought home a little drawing thing and my mom have to be home and I showed it to her and she just water and put in trash can cuz I'm sure didn't look like much but I decided that moment. I never bring anything home again. So I never did homework. I never tried and I never school because she was never home there wasn't made me.

15:45 I didn't know a man. So I had no concept of what a family was like discipline or how to get along with your siblings because they ran.

15:56 They were never home. I was always alone cousins were actually kick the door down to get to me and I remember call my mother and telling her she said well, we won't say anything cuz we don't want to start trouble. So they knew I was helpless and all aspects of my life and I felt bad about myself because I was ignorant. I wasn't stupid but I was ignorant and educated because he didn't go to school and I was always felt second-rate and had no no right to speak up about anything.

16:29 So because that's very different than who you are now.

16:35 Cuz you are educated man. You've had Works did very well in your work and life real estate and stuff. So what's helps you? What's got you through?

16:50 What changed I guess?

16:53 Well when I met my wife I fell in love at first sight and I worshipped her really really I couldn't wait to get home to her. We were married 32 years and I love you more than words can say but we give the covers as yes, I won't make sure which one but that helped me a great deal and I became a public speaker. So I took me 25 years of studying everything I could find and I don't have speak and and so forth because I had I had no skill and in physical work. I don't know the first thing about it. I never fixed a flat tire or anything no responsibility. So I was not lazy bear was irresponsible. I didn't know what responsibility was. But anyway,

17:50 So what changed me was meeting my wife and my desire to?

17:57 To marry her and take care of her. Well, where did that come from?

18:03 Well, I've always.

18:06 Wonders family something that I never had but I never saw what a family look like.

18:14 I just knew that I love her and I would do anything I could to provide as best as I could and I will say the

18:25 Adult life witch's is hard. Maybe even hardly any childhood.

18:29 Because I just failed it Time After Time After Time. I didn't know.

18:35 I didn't know how to do anything it if I do the job myself will fight so much as this pain in a bucket to gallons of water or whatever it is. That is not good for me, but I didn't know what a gallon was. I didn't know anything and I never went to school until High School.

18:54 Annoying talk to me or trade me for anything. I was ignorant. Oh my God is a felt to me. Like I was thing from another planet.

19:04 As a man and input hearing expected to be a man.

19:09 I never going to have a small radius of my neighborhood to my entire life.

19:14 I never been to Disneyland. I heard your name. I didn't know what it was. I never been in a restaurant and when I start dating my wife her mother took us to the restaurant and I give you mine are you know what to expect I could never use a knife and fork because I never had a meal.

19:32 She paid for it gave me a check in the money. I didn't know where to go what to do. I know clue.

19:39 So those things I was just totally innocent and the best thing I can describe myself not not paying myself a backwards was pure and she's like a tryouts honesty honesty.

19:56 But life was hard as that man is it was your child because I got fired from so many jobs one after the other after that my God, I couldn't keep a job 3 months or 6 months at the most four years because I just had no skill nobility. I never heard of what they would say do this and I had no clue what they were talking about so I couldn't do that. So finally I accidentally got in sales.

20:24 And I guess I was good that something I could do is talk to somebody that is so that you do. Well. My first sales job was shoes and I did that for

20:38 I'm going to ask about 7 years. They were by my first house when I was 20 years old.

20:46 I was I was 18 when I got married.

20:50 My wife 417 we had to get married. I was thrilled.

21:01 But I never felt like a man very difficult for me to fail time after time that I get Kermit to never give up.

21:13 And so after I get fired from one after the other I go knocking on doors and visits area and and putting in applications and I was really glad I could had a hard time filling an application. I could not spell at all factors your liver it actually because I never going to school except when high school Pro so far behind I asked you first time I go in school. How am I going to catch up all those years that she's a foundation of mass at which I did this day in Parable, but I tried and so I figured teacher said that you want me to go out for wrestling because I'm pretty tough that built my confidence up. I was very good.

22:02 But I still want to see that they've had to run five miles. I ran my five miles. Everyone else cheated went home early and you know cuz it was a dark and they would hide out and not run. I always do about four thing where they said you guys did it.

22:18 And so you did the shoe salesmen for 7 years, then what you going to do my God one job after the other. I remember I got to work for Kmart.

22:31 Wash it right away. I didn't know what they were saying take counter this and do this and that inventory. I didn't watch it weird inventory minutes.

22:40 So I got just blast just job after job and then from you after a while.

22:50 I forget everything that I sold her everything I did but I finally laying a real estate almost had a heart attack when I took the class.

23:00 Oh my God way above my belly to study those before they had classes that teach you just to pass the test. I mean you had to do it the long hard way. There's no calculators in those days. So you had a lot of math questions on dear God in heaven. Why am I going to do but I've never been a quitter. So I studied hard and hard even though I didn't know what I was reading.

23:30 I still.

23:32 Comprehending a lot, but if you'd ask me questions about thanks a lot of I wouldn't know of it. So I failed the first test by 1.3 hour test.

23:43 And then I got to the second time and then I excelled every month. I was in the newspaper topless Church top salesman for years.

23:56 What do you think made you so?

24:00 Good at sales and cuz he knew how to talk to people. Well when I became religious they had a

24:11 School on speaking because they would go door-to-door and and talk to people. Well, they didn't want us to go stupid. So they taught us how to speak with a training school on how to speak and communicate and I ended up like chocolate candy. I just everything very good. If I had a talk, I would work on it for months and months and lunch day in day out of it and have it memorized every verbatim work for work, even the scriptures and everything and I speak for 1 hour.

24:45 Going from one congregation to the other. So I got to help me communicate in sales a great deal and gave me confidence for the first time in my life. I usually would speak to about 120 people but the largest crowd was 3200 for an hour-long speech at the Civic Auditorium.

25:13 Rabobank has calmed down. I believe so that gave me a lot of a lot of confidence.

25:22 But still I knew how ignorant I was and I was usually isn't straight commission like real estate straight commission should rough road my wife never worked and made. Making sure I don't care how many days you work. You didn't get paid cuz I didn't close ass girl. You didn't get paid and play me anything slightly can cause it F-150 work on something for 6 months VA loan 6 months and days before closing fall out if you didn't have sales in the hopper you were in trouble when you were really in trouble in fact

26:02 When we hit that the worst recession in California, I lost everything.

26:09 I lost everything I sell my furniture my family rejected me radio special my children because Dad was good enough.

26:23 I worked 6 3 months.

26:28 Every day a week as many hours in the day that I could.

26:34 But to no avail. I'm like 6 months ago. I didn't come.

26:37 We got down to where we were all I could do is buy bread and eat toast had my sales gone through I would have made $100,000 in the three months that the market was so bad. You couldn't give real estate way anyone at buy a house in those days are stupid. We got your 21.2% interest rate. And even if somebody's willing to pay that kind of money, they couldn't afford a house payment. So it was I lost everything man. Really?

27:08 This was the 2008 on that time. No mm mm because I wasn't taking care of them financially now.

27:27 So I just wish I start selling vacuum cleaners door-to-door killed me broke. My heart actually broke my heart. I would try going down the street and humiliated and I ran it and I knew it was worthless or useless to go during the daytime cuz everybody was at work, but I need the money so bad. I place 8 hours a day hardly ever firing too many people at home.

27:53 So I can go at night fish black people afraid to open the door or is rough really really rough. And so I did a lot of jobs like that. I work for a finance company and I had to do credit scores. Well, I didn't realize I was dyslexic with numbers. I never could understand why I could I would the calculator it I come out one figure and then they get mad so far. Have you come up with this? You know, and I got my God. I don't know what any where are mixing up the numbers one time at look like something and it was over the horrible horrible. I'm getting scolded and I and I ate the dirt. I let him take the dirt my face for my family is willing to undergo anything. Oh, I often wonder quit like so many husbands USA. Then this is hard. This is just too much and it but single

28:52 Mother know besides I love them life children too much to do that. So the ad dog life was

29:00 In its own way worse than the childhood abuse because I had no one to blame but myself but I was just so untrained so unskilled it was unbelievable because

29:17 Because you're never going to school because of never having a mother or father. I had no parents at all ever.

29:23 And July August, you know how to do things and so during that rough patch then what got you kind of back into the

29:34 I guess the game of area of your business and stuff cuz you kind of recuperated a bit there. I did I did really well until

29:45 Recession depression the worst in California history finance company sold in escrow company sold real estate company soldiers like flying. They used to have me demonstrate my presentation in front of all the different.

30:06 So I I somehow I hope that this will encourage someone to not give up to not be a victim. Like I was my brother sister would beat me the clothes hangers because you're older trying to take care of me. And so you just felt like scum of the earth and I I hope that if anybody listen to this that you can overcome it and and take pride in if nothing else your effort. You've overcome a lot. Yeah, I open my own business and then I manufacturer went out of business in my product that put me out of business and my wife was really

30:50 Hi, I lost her respect.

30:54 And she ended up falling in love with some guy at work. She never work, but she had to go to working and end up after 32 years leaving me here are just back healed me.

31:05 But I'm still trying I've been divorced for 20 years.

31:13 Can I still have my moments of loneliness? I can see families in the window having dinner or a dad playing catch with his son and I always wanted that and I swear to God if I ever got a family.

31:27 I would do everything in my power. Yeah, that's a great thing.

31:35 Sexual abuse it wasn't my fault. I was just a little kid.

31:45 So I hope it wasn't your fault and never never.

31:59 I would actually kill myself before I'd allow myself to be.

32:03 Amor infusive like that, but

32:08 Religion bird mature Legends really it really shave my life. Yeah. I got really close to God and that's why I say thank you Fargo. Appreciate it. You're welcome.

32:36 Well, I'm pretty tough. I don't give up.

32:50 It's just unbelievable how difficult I wish I had to experience the most powerful thing I've ever read my life and I couldn't find them but the super powerful and Nate describe. The feelings is what needs to be brought out how you feel the moment when you're beating up how you feel about yourself unworthy.

33:21 I could be at the lot of them, but I never could hurt anybody. I get in a fight if I busted your nose and blood came out I would back off. I didn't want to hurt him with my then. They were mad. They were trying to kill me and I didn't oh, I forgot what that was leading into.

33:40 I just hate violence always have.

33:44 Picture and I know there's a lot of people at work experiences and like me.

33:50 And they blame themselves.

33:53 It's not true. It's not true. So I guess that's pretty much it. Just don't give up don't blame yourself. A lot of us are ready-made victims Joyce. So that's powerful. Yeah.

34:13 I guess it's pretty much it.