Floyd Wafer and Rachel Wafer

00:05 So, my name is Rachel Maria. I'm wafer. I am 43 years old. We are recording in Fresno, California. I am with my dad. I Floyd who I love. I am Mexican-American Americana and that's it.

00:26 My name is Floyd wafer. And I'm 62 years old. I'm sitting here with my daughter Rachel and I'm from I was born in Fresno, California, July 15th. 1957.

00:40 Did you state the the date today is February 15th in the year 2020 and we were in Fresno, California.

00:51 So Dad, the reason I brought you here today or Brianna asked us to come is because I really want to know more about your childhood since you gave me and my brother. Hi Matt, my sister Floyd and Sarah such an amazing childhood. I want to know more about your childhood and like how that was for you growing up.

01:15 But my childhood was a lot different from you guys because when I was young I was brought up to work to learn how to do everything housework clean iron can spend a lot of time with my grandmother and she worked in the field. So we end up having to learn how to work in the fields and do work and be independent.

01:36 And my mom, you know, we live with her lot too, but she work night. So we spend a lot of time with my grandmother and then we spend time with my mom in the daytime when she wasn't working.

01:49 So being that I'll call her my grandmother Bishop Bishop cuz that's fine. I'm okay Grandma Ethel. Do you filled out that you I didn't have enough time with my grandma or with your mom. Did you do you fuck that was things that you missed out on?

02:08 With my mom. Yes, cuz she died at a young age of 62, but my grandmother she live to be a hundred and two so I got I learned a lot from her and she taught us a lot.

02:19 You know 102 years old. That's a blessing and we was blessed to have her that long.

02:25 What was your your fondest memory in childhood?

02:32 Polly good eating cuz my mom and my grandmother was excellent cooks and they taught us how to cook to so

02:41 I was that was blessing.

02:45 My grandmother had for some reason she cook this chicken that was unbelievable and she cooked it real slow. And then I guess it was just a loving in the cooking that made it taste so good.

02:59 If what was one thing that when you were a child dad that was scary for you, like what made you scared?

03:10 Well, I don't think I was ever scared is just being raised by a single parent. My mom is it was like a she's you see how hard she worked and and sometimes things was a little thin but we managed to get through and we always had my grandmother to fall back on and she always made sure there was plenty plenty of food plenty of everything's

03:36 Nice

03:40 Scribe like where you grew up maybe what your house looks like on the westside of Fresno, California over by

03:50 Samson and fig Avenue, and you know we didn't have a lot but we had a roof over a head and a lot of love and was brought up to be honest and do right at the others as you want done to yourself.

04:13 When it came down to you being raised by a

04:19 Single-parent of course, do you feel because you didn't have your dad in your life that you missed out?

04:27 I probably missed out but my mom and my grandmother and grandfather and my uncle's to get a good job with us. So we was taught, you know, if you want something you could work Ford and if you don't have the means you leave it where it's at, and I thought that was a lot and they told us to always treat people the way you want to be treated.

04:52 Stone

04:55 Who was the closest male figure in your life would I be uncle Leroy?

05:01 Yeah, cuz he spent a lot of time with us and then like I said, I spent a lot of time at my grandmother's house and that's where he live when he was going to school. So and then my grandfather too, but he died.

05:13 He died at a young pretty young age to like my mom. I think he was like 60 60 something so but probably the big strongest person in our family was my grandmother because she made sure everybody learned and do right and we always got to go to church. We went to church Volume Up 3 times a week sometime maybe for so he's brought up in church and we was taught to do right?

05:44 I know that.

05:49 You come in contact with your biological father Floyd at the tail end of his life. And so we were there with you as a family when we went to the funeral. I want to know.

06:04 Do

06:06 Did you how did that feel for you? Like, what was that? What was it like for you?

06:12 Well, I have seen him at a young age to but it was towards the end.

06:17 Towards the end it when I had talked to him a few times and I actually I was supposed to had when we was all supposed to go to his house in meeting. But at the time the job that I had I was working a lot of hours and 6 days a week and we supposed to take a trip to Vegas and stop by his house, but we never did make it. It's just I was exhausted and I don't know.

06:39 But you know growing up with my grandmother and my mom and my uncles and everything and I think they fill the void of a father figure so.

06:49 I I firmly agree. I agree with that. I know that you lost.

06:58 Uncle Dave or your brother at a very young age and I would just like to know

07:06 Since you know what it was to be didn't show a lot of emotion until I poop after grandma died how

07:14 Yeah, I fell for you. Like what was that like for you to well, I don't know. My brother was as sick as he was cuz we we talk every now and then but we can keep that close to contact after my mom died. And so one day he found he had called me up and he told me he needed something and so we got to talkin so I met with him.

07:35 And he told me how bad he was on and the things he was going through so I kind of felt I don't know what kind of a sense of guilt for not checking up on my younger brother at the time.

07:48 But it was good stuff.

07:53 I know that every single year you go to the cemetery on Memorial Day.

08:00 And you made this.

08:02 Beautiful with cross for Uncle Dave and

08:07 In a way it was at healing for you to make that dad. Like what was that like

08:15 But I have to do some for my brother.

08:25 Uncle Dave

08:28 He was

08:30 Hit the best smile.

08:35 He

08:38 East always wear hats everywhere. He went his very tall. I just remember him always cracking jokes about football cuz we

08:48 We didn't like the same to you, but he was a light in the room and is very important for me to be able to want to come to be able to have a conversation with my dad because I know how strong you are dad. But I also know that

09:10 That was hurt that you have that you don't allow us to see because you want to remain strong. So I appreciate that but it also

09:19 Want to know

09:23 When

09:26 I just want you to know that when Grandma passed away and I saw you on pushing the casket.

09:34 At that moment when I realize how strong you are, but I knew that there was a lot of things that you were going through.

09:41 And so I just want to know as your daughter. Do you feel like that your family like that? We supported you the way you need to be supportive during that time. I believe everybody did best friend what they could doing I was appreciated of it.

09:57 It's just some.

10:00 Sometime when you lose a person like that, it's pretty tough.

10:05 Especially your mom cuz you really don't know what you don't miss until you lost your mom.

10:14 I can definitely agree cuz we are a grandmother very close, course. I'm miserable single day.

10:21 I want to know how it was free to take care of grandma and great-grandma like up. How was that for you?

10:32 And why did you do it? Like why did you scare them? So lovingly?

10:36 Basically, I just want to make sure they was taken care of and they didn't have to worry about nobody that.

10:43 Mystery demand when do form at 1 to make sure that I took him to the end cuz they took care of me. They provided for me and gave me a good sense of leadership and I appreciate it. So I think that was a way showing my appreciation to them is taking care of him and do whatever I can do for you.

11:04 I never really asked you so I want to make sure I ask you today. How was that too? Because both grandma and great-grandma you were there when they died like, what was that? What was that like for you especially with Grandma because you were the only one in the house when she passed away. How was that for you?

11:22 It was stuff and always said that I hope not here alone when something if you happen to pass away on me, but they have a guess it was meant to be and I was right there fact. I had just gave her some broth and knows we sitting at the foot of the bed talking and then she laid back and took a nap. So I went in and I was sitting in the living room cuz your mom had went to go somewhere with her nieces.

11:49 And she'll tell your mom I said she's doing all right after she fell asleep. I gave her some broth and some something to eat. So your mom went to go check on the she goes and come in here.

12:00 And when she had told me that.

12:03 Anna

12:04 IMac stop breathing

12:11 So that was a kept going back in and check on her, but she was still asleep. So I guess the one time I didn't go in there. I guess the man upstairs made the call.

12:26 If there was one thing that you could tell Grandma what would you tell her?

12:33 And I love her and thank you for all she did for me and how she provided for me and taught me wrong from right and taught me how to working.

12:43 And be supportive.

12:46 How to treat people

12:50 And how to cook do I cook High bar? My grandmother was an amazing cook. So I want to ask you cuz this year you and Mom will be celebrating 40 years of marriage, which I think it's amazing. What was it about my mom that you fell in love with and it's been like it was a love that you felt for her when you saw her because mostly her bring you a space if you like mine except she had both of her parents and she did end up working in the fields and doing the type of stuff that I did. So after we talked we got to know each other. Can I just hate is a person that basically came from where I came from?

13:33 You know, we wasn't wealthy people but you know, we learn how to work and provide and do what we need to do and take care of my kids and provide for them.

13:43 Always wanted always wanted more for my kids. But I mean, I think they they probably got more than I did when I was coming up, but that isn't that was that was what that's what being a parent is about as providing for your kids and give them a good opportunity to do well.

14:02 I will sell you as your daughter at those of you who are listening to this this of course is not my biological father this of course is my stepfather. But this is why I called Dad. This is the man who raised me. I want to know Dad. How was it knowing that my mom had two kids and you were about to enter into a marriage with someone who has two kids without hard for you. I see everybody as equal. So my kids are somebody else's kid and some part of them. I treat him treat them like mine.

14:40 I was little I will tell you that I was I was small as must have been about two years old to read at least three during your brother was for my father has a very great memory, but I remember is to photographs just how happy my dad was to have us he took a fun trip to went too much Mountain. So every year my dad and my mom would make it a point to take us a theme park in California or just different places, but I remember the love that was always on your face and the

15:11 What we thought as kids was beautiful for me. It was just just genuine love from your heart. I want to know.

15:25 At any point in time, I remember I remember finally this memory. I know if you to someone has said that I was your stepdaughter and you corrected them instantaneously. Was that something that was hard for you to hear when people say, how's your stepdaughter? No.

15:38 Me as a parent raising them and I'm providing formed in my kids is stepdaughters regular Sun by biological son or whatever it is. You know, once you take on this the parenting of an apparent the step order biological and you know, it doesn't take a place with me. I just I just believe in raising the kid Freedom ride and providing for him and give him the opportunity to prosper.

16:06 Beautiful, so

16:11 I'm going into your 40th year of marriage.

16:15 Can you define love? Like what is what is love between you and Mom through the good times and the bad times? I mean there still was tough time, but we managed to work things out and provide and keep a roof over your kids head to keep a roof and provide food for him to eat close on the back and and education for him. And I think I just working together on that had made it all worthwhile.

16:43 And if I can definitely tell you that in the house, we've definitely felt very supported in Love on my behalf of mean I rather sister's not here, but for me just a personal message to you. You are the strongest person that I know and I love you unconditionally for always being there for me, of course and for being there for Brianna, I don't think you would ever know what you mean to her and what you mean to myself.

17:11 And I say I just want to say thank you on record for just loving unconditionally and being Sterling had to be Stern and then of course planting trees that were so we have an abundance of peaches and nectarines in your backyard. That's not that big.

17:27 But thank you so much. I'm going to let you ask me questions. And feel free to ask whatever you like an open book, even if they're tough questions. Please ask me because this is a space for me to be around for Centuries with you. I think that I owe you. I owe you so you can say whatever you want.

17:47 Okay, thank you. I appreciate it what you said?

17:54 Would I like to know from you?

17:56 Do you feel that you had the opportunity to prospering and go where you could go in life?

18:04 I can tell you without a doubt that you gave me.

18:09 Especially as a beautiful like being in human form you gave me everything I needed to be successful. He provided me with the platform to grow and to understand what it was to work hard pursue my dreams and even when I fell you definitely make sure I let you know come back on the horse you are tough at times you need to be tough and that made me understand exactly how much love you have for me? Because if you didn't care about me. I would never be an opportunity go to college and the degrees that I have or have bran and go where she went and that came from

18:52 Your love and your dedication to make sure that you gave each one of your kids the opportunity to thrive in our house and you provided for me a space to be able to know that I could accomplish anything when I saw I don't think I don't think I ever told you this, but I look at your hands all the time.

19:09 Arashi, but the reason to put your hand is because I know how hard you work to make sure that we always had everything we needed even though for you three I can call and you and I know I'm going to an adult woman who's driving sometimes I'm in life. And I know that you would definitely come take a coat hanger. Try to get me out of my car for the fourth time play locked my keys inside of it, but you gave me the opportunity I needed to be able to make sure I was successful as a woman as a mother and so me being a single parent.

19:43 You always make sure that you gave everything she wanted was unconditional love and support so I definitely felt it.

19:55 Well, let's face it we can questions. I like to know who that was busier than

20:04 Rachel would you be willing to share with your dad a time that you felt really lost that he helped you course. Yes.

20:15 So I was missing this was recent. Actually, my father has always been someone who was fiscally responsible to the T.

20:30 And I've never been that I've never been physically sound. I've always spend money like it was growing on trees and my father and my mother but especially my dad is always rescued me when I came into Financial strain and it wasn't until I started my business and they my business of course honors. My dad's mom, which is Dorothy Mae my mom's mom dominga and I realize just how many lies have I had told about being me no money things of that nature that this past year. I got transparent about that money and I realize that I was $90,000 in debt and I wish that was my dad and I told him that and that was hard for me to tell my dad how far did I was because that's just the debt that I owe on.

21:17 My own personal, you know school loans in the backyard, but I had also come to the fact that I owe my parents and abundance of just things and my dad is never once asked for it and he just Waits and waits and you know, I definitely want to tell my dad that it goes beyond his monetary for me. It goes to the fact that you've been very loving and compassionate toward me and telling me nobody to hear know that I understood that I had to grow up and I had to take responsibility for the things that I have put myself into dad cuz you and Mom worked hard for everything you guys had and has an adult woman. I had to do the same thing for myself and it wasn't until literally lost past two years. I finally buckled up and just was like, okay you're doing way too much need to sit down and live within your means and if it was meant for you to have then you definitely should have it. So I told tell you that I was with lost because I was trying to live a lifestyle they had no I hadn't should have never done.

22:16 I should have just listened to what my father had told me when it came to that cuz it will always come you know, if God wanted you to have it he provided for you and I I miss I didn't listen that lesson and now at 43 I'm reconstructing my life in that matters to understand to listen to him in that way.

22:33 And the second time I was lost cuz there's two times just recently my biological father didn't pass and the first phone call. I did make was to my dad who raised me and I always I wasn't going to sit in the front of the pew at all because that wasn't like that wasn't my dad. But I call my dad the night before I'm hunted passed away cuz I wanted to hear his voice and I wanted to Him to guide me through that.

23:04 And him hearing his voice made me understand that if I am the woman that he raised I would go support my sister Lena. I don't call my step sister calling my sister and when I saw something in that P by herself, I remember my dad pushing the casket of my grandmother and I just didn't want me to do that by herself. I thought it was wrong cuz they racing the nearest there by herself and so me and my older brother went to sit with her.

23:30 And I had together all the strength and all the love though my father put into me because it was very hard for me to be by her side during that time. Cuz it wasn't my father.

23:42 And so I always said it that when she passed away my name will legally changing it with it is changing. We have a court hearing and so I will no longer be have Gomez in my name. What's my brother will be Rachel wafer as it should have been many years ago.

23:57 So, how did you feeling it when I called you about that? Like what were your feelings about that there was nothing wrong with it? I don't hold nothing against nobody because I wasn't raised like that my grandmother taught us to love and respect everybody. So hey.

24:17 You know, he's about your luggage father. So you have to you know, if you wanted to show that respect, you know, I haven't I can't hold you back from that and I don't think it would be right for somebody to try to tell you how I know if I was you. I wouldn't I don't think that would be right.

24:33 So, you know, it was a good thing. You went show support for your sister and you can definitely make sure I

24:42 Hide Your Love and Grace near me at all times

24:46 I do want to ask you just about

24:53 If there was anything you could change about.

24:56 Me what would it be?

25:00 Me as a person. I can't change another person. I mean that you have to change yourself. So if you see wrong in your life or something that you did that you wanted, correct. I think it's up to you. But as far as me, I can't I can't be judging people. I'm not too keen on this Earth to judge. You only here to help provide long as I could, you know.

25:24 So I know that you were.

25:28 You're very quiet about the fact that I know about your back and I didn't learn about your prostate situation until later on cuz Mom had told us what was that like for you having to go for back surgery right into dealing with your prostate and working through that like I was that for you cuz I know that great grandma raised you not to you no believe in doctors or you know not we'll go to always ask for God for healing. So how was that for you or something like that? You got to go to the doctor because scared to get cured. If not the time will be short. So it actually started before my back and I was going to the doctor and they had told me

26:10 But then I went to the gym when they're messed my back up. So and that was that was real bad. I was in pain 24/7 no medication could seem to ease the pain. I just had to get my back fixed and then I went for my prostate cancer treatments, but this is the thought of cancer in your body is not a good feeling.

26:33 You know.

26:35 But it's like if you get it you find out you get it taken care of. I think that's a good thing and that's fishing without the means. I got it taken care of and in time. So, why do you think you kept why you think the mom they want to tell your kids that you had cancer, but you need to I just thought she didn't tell us just to let you know Mom did not let us know until I talk to you and then she would not even tell me I really don't know.

27:00 She never said nothing that I can recall it that you wasn't going to tell you guys, but

27:06 I guess because prostate cancer is something it's a

27:11 Is something is long term in it, you know, you could do some people decide not to like I have an uncle he too had it and he decided not to do nothing about it. He tried its own healing and sometimes you just got to go to doctor. I know my grandmother had a lot of faith and believe in.

27:28 You know self-medication now old remedies and stuff like that, but some things just so you got to go to doctor. I think that's what I believe. So that's why it took, you know the steps to get it taken care of and my other Uncle he had the same thing so he had to get treatment for his two.

27:49 Do did you want us to know you or this is you had cancer. No problem with snoring.

27:58 Polly Polly

28:01 Honest lower scale not so nobody start worrying and start panicking that like that because I think I took it pretty well. Just knowing that I had it and it could be fixed. You know, I think for me it's just because we weren't able you know, mom is always an advocate of being there for family members. And of course you were my dad and she didn't even tell anyone of your kids to do. You think they like we don't want to support you in that like how did you feel about that? Cuz that would for me personally because we always show for family she kept she basically I guess wanted to get that to you without personal for her. So like I told you I want to know I did that.

28:39 Did you want to know why we didn't go to your appointment with you? Like, you know, we didn't go to your radiation treatment nothing.

28:52 I made sure I went to all my appointments and did what I had to deal and deal with the doctor told me to do and down the road. I thought that I believe that I would be. All right. So happy to hear that cuz I know your faith is real strong so long as you felt that I'm totally okay with it. What is one thing about my mom that inspires you like? What does she do that?

29:18 That you love like what what is she that you love about her? Like, what do you love about my mom everything about your mom and hard worker and she believed in no providing for her kids and helping the kids and

29:37 That's a good thing.

29:39 And helping others to

29:42 She's huge on that. What is the best memory you have with Mom after being married for forty years? I what's the best thing like what sound that in your head about her which is how we were raised the kids out and provided and Coach you guys and sports and could you guys a dance lessons and just had a good time coming up?

30:10 So I think that we are now in a phase where we know we know that time is very he knows it is scarce for all of us and you know, God can call us home in anal at any time.

30:27 If you want to be remembered, like what would be the good thing, you know, nothing. I don't get passing time soon. But what's the one thing you want to be left as your legacy?

30:40 As Floyd wafer. I will it be what does your legacy down hard worker in a provider?

30:49 So I will.

30:52 Tell you of course because every ask you this question, what scares you in life dad, like what are you scared of?

30:58 I think my upbringing I don't know.

31:02 Just in general. I don't think nothing really scares me just always want to make sure your family is safe. Your grandkids are saved your great-grandkids and your kids are safe. That's and that's probably the only thing that stays in the back of your mind this year family being safe.

31:21 So I do want to mention this because Force this is something that I've had a difficult time even processing and I don't even know how you did this. So you're and a half ago. Dad you were involved, Of course an armed robbery where you had someone that's stuck up a Subway sandwich and you were in there with two of your grandkids and I remember Mom calling us, especially me. Like I need to get to get to where you were right away. I'm something was going on.

31:49 And I want to know on your head like what was going through your mind when that person might pulled that gun in that Subway. I was sticking up that place.

31:58 First it was to get my grandkids out of there because I had yeled the oldest when I forget your system get out of here right now.

32:06 And she took off but she didn't take her little sister while her little sister was busy right next to me staring at the guy and I have to look down and I said Marley get out of here right now. So the guy pointing the gun at so I just let it aside put the gun, you know plenty of that myself hadn't pointed at me and told her to get out so she finally get out of it.

32:27 I figured.

32:29 The grandkids out of hero. I'm good.

32:33 And I kind of felt for this older couple that was in there.

32:37 The guy's wife was at the counter and he was sitting in the sitting down.

32:42 And the guy with the gun pointed at the girls and the girls was crying and so I just went over and talked to the guy that table officer you. All right? All right. I said, okay, so I sit there with Hammond.

32:56 And the guy just got the money and took off.

32:59 Thought about trying something but I thought his other people in there and then you know, I don't want nothing to go wrong just because of me trying to

33:08 You mister.

33:11 I don't know.

33:12 This is a sad feeling.

33:15 Oh, yeah, I was more sad once I get my grandkids. I was probably more sad for that older couple cuz the lady just sit there and covered her eyes.

33:23 And I thought this is not right.

33:27 We all got out saves. It was a good thing.

33:30 And I remember.

33:36 When you put your back when you told to tell me the story about how you put your body in front of.

33:41 Marley

33:44 To make sure that she was okay. I want you to know that that's the true definition of just hero status.

33:54 And you thought about other people before you thought about yourself and you do it every single day of your life. And when we saw you crying like Superman like when you got to the house, I definitely like you cried very very hard.

34:09 And I do I want you to know that when people ask me about you.

34:14 The first thing I always say is it.

34:19 God really put an angel on Earth doesn't have wings yet and you can see what my dad gets his wings. It will definitely be a very hard time and space for myself because you constantly do things for other people died without asking so I want you to know that for myself. It doesn't go unnoticed every single time that you

34:46 Gave to your friends monetary stuff for you showed up for them that you fixed trucks that you talk to people that you cut people's Lawns that you visited chewy.

34:59 I'm at the retirement home that you always took care of people and

35:06 You made it a mission in life to be able to live what grandma taught you when your grandmother taught you and so.

35:15 When people ask me about you always tell him I know somewhere in the heavens like my grandmother's are smiling down on my dad because he did everything he could to live a righteous and good life and be a good man to everybody and that day that Mama Told Me like there was Robert you like my whole heart summer.

35:36 Cuz I can Envision space and time without you being there, but I know eventually in time God's going to take you out of time put you into eternity. So there is I want to do the interview is to make sure that I said before I even told you.

35:49 Just how thankful. I am as a woman that you have always held my hand through the toughest situations you provided for Brianna, we buy to prove everybody that you loved and even those people who aren't your family you still give up yourself 110% so

36:06 What I thought about someone pointing a gun even at Marley, but then when you stepped in front of Marley and you check on everybody else, but yourself, it doesn't go unnoticed, you know.

36:18 You lost your job closed down you thought about everybody else to make sure they were okay first and you thought about yourself.

36:25 And you are such a rare person traveling this Earth's and it wants to take the time to put it on record that.

36:33 You should be amongst the stars. And I'm so thankful for you every single day of my life because you gave me something that no one else will ever give me another unconditional love and support and you are more than a provider. You are like my best friend and even when it was tough you make sure that I was okay. So I say thank you Dad for everything and we will continue to do for my mom and the way you love her and the way you live all of us. It's been such a beautiful ride done. And so I look forward to the next over many years we have together until God calls one of his home, but I want to make sure that you just knew that so I think Brianna forgive me the platform to tell you tell you this today by sitting in this beautiful,

37:22 I'm so that's my story.

37:26 Okay. Thank you preciate it.