Frank DiCostanzo and Manuela Velasquez

[00:08] FRANK DI DI COSTANZO: Hi, my name is Frank di di Costanzo I am 62 years old. Today's date is February 8, 2023, and I live on Long island in a town called Siosset in New York, and I'm talking today here with my new friend, Manuela.

[00:27] MANUELA VELASQUEZ: Thanks, Frank. Hi, I'm Manuela Velasquez. I'm 23. Today is February 8, 2023, and I am in El Paso, Texas, talking with Frank, who is my new friend. I'm a conversation partner today. So, Frank, it's. Well, it's been great chatting with you prior to this, this recording started, and it's so fun that I am here in El Paso because you have quite the connection with El Paso and basketball and El Barrio starting last year when you first came and volunteered with the organization. And I would love to hear more about what inspired you to come to El Paso and how you heard about basketball and El Barrio and.

[01:10] FRANK DI DI COSTANZO: Yeah, yeah. Well, my connection with basketball in the barrio is rooted in my connection with Steve Yellen, who is one of the co founders and one of the guys who makes that program. Hum. And Steve and I were high school friends, so we've known each other for a long time, 45 or more years, and we went to the same high school, and we both loved basketball, played basketball. And he was a year older than me, and he was amazing. He was the star at our high school and led our high school team to the state semifinals. And he was really, even though he was only a year older than me, I looked up to him. He was like a hero. He was a hero to a lot of us because he was on another level. And the high school gym would get packed every night our team played because it was such a great team. And it was like right out of the Hoosiers movie, it was like that small town in upstate New York, and, you know, we had this amazing basketball team come together, and it was like a fairy tale sort of year for them. So, again, basketball was my favorite sport. And even though he was the star of the team, you know, he wasn't the kind of kid who would walk around school, like, strutting his stuff and, you know, with his nose up in the air. He was a real humble, down to earth, really good person. So when I was playing in my little, like, cyo basketball, local basketball league, he would come to watch and cheer me on, and that was, you know, not something that the high school stud, you know, superstar would normally do, you know. So I really appreciated that. And I was also an artist. I was an athlete, but I was also an artist, and he really, really love the worker that I did. And he would kind of commission. He would commission me to draw, you know, portraits, and I did, you know, a portrait of Julius Irving, Doctor J. And I think I even did a portrait of Steve himself that he still has all these years later. And he really liked that aspect of me. And now that I know him all these years later, you know, if you go to his house, the first thing you see when you walk into his house is this huge floor to ceiling, I don't know, twelve foot wide mural that he must have commissioned a local artist in El Paso to do. And it has all of his favorite things in life, the Yankees and Jerry Garcia from the Grateful dead. And it was, you know, all this great stuff. So, you know, we had that. We had that connection in high school, and then he was good enough to get an opportunity to play division one basketball with the University of Texas, El Paso, and left New York and left us all behind. And, you know, as is the case many times, you know, when. When classmates and schoolmates go on to the next level, into college and on into life, you lose touch, you know, and he was a long way away in Texas, and there was no social media, there weren't no cell phones. So it was very hard. It wasn't as easy it is today to stay in touch and to keep that connection going. You know, he would come home on breaks, and we'd run into each other for, you know, you know, go out and get pizza and stuff or whatever, and that was. That would be it. And then, you know, as we all go on with our lives and our careers and our families, you know, we kind of get, you know, caught up in that. In that world, and it's, again, it's very easy to kind of lose touch with those old high school friends. So, yeah, I mean, I went on and, you know, kind of continued my career in New York City as a graphic designer and an artist. And out of the blue, I think we may have connected, um, through social media, maybe either on LinkedIn, I think probably on LinkedIn. Um, and it was, you know, I mean, many years had gone by, and he reached out to me, and as, as is the case, you know, if you've met Steve, have you met Steve?

[06:12] MANUELA VELASQUEZ: I have met him over Zoom, and he is quite the character.

[06:16] FRANK DI DI COSTANZO: Yes, he is a character. There's no question about it. He is probably the most positive human being I've ever had the good fortune to know and be, you know, and be friends with. So he reached out to me after we reconnected, and he said, frankie, frankie. And he's one of the few people in my life, other than my close relatives and stuff, who's allowed to call me Frankie. And he said, I'm coming to New York. You gotta meet me. We're gonna. We're gonna go see. Geez, I can't remember the gentleman's name, but there's a guy who was. Basically ran a boys and girls club in Harlem in New York. And Steve's goal was to raise money for that program and what he was doing in that neighborhood, which was a, you know, low income neighborhood in Harlem, but he knew that this guy was doing great stuff. I wish I could remember his name. I'm sorry, I don't. So, I mean, out of the blue, I haven't seen him in, you know, 35, 40 years, whatever it was. And suddenly I'm on a train into New York City to go meet Steve Yellen in Harlem at the boys and girls club, I think, on 116th street or something. And we reunite, and it was awesome. And he took me in the back, and he showed me this amazing program that they were doing. They had an indoor gymnasium that was completely set up with tables, folding tables, and there were all of these kids in there. Looked like they were ages, maybe like second grade to maybe middle school or whatever, and they're all sitting down and they're working, they're doing their homework, and they're doing stuff. And there are adults who are kind of gravitating from table to table, and they're helping them as tutors and helping them with their homework. And I'm like, what's going on? And he's like, this is what they do. They come from school straight to the center, and we help them get their homework done, and they have to do that first. And then, in a blink of an eye, after some time had gone. Bye, suddenly all the tables and chairs are getting folded up and put off to the side and, like, without, you know, hesitation, this gym was now filled with kids who were then getting tutorials and basketball fundamentals, you know, dribbling and shooting and passing. So it was like homework was done. So now we can get on to the fun stuff, and now we can start doing basketball. And I, you know, the coach took us around and he showed us what he wanted to do. He wanted to build up, you know, a workout, like a weight room over here for kids. And he wanted to, you know, elevate the educational component of this. Of this program. So, you know, Steve brought me in knowing that I was an artist. And he said, I want the two of us to work together. I'm going to go to corporations. I'm going to use my contacts in a corporate world and see if I can get them to donate some money to this cause, to this center. But I need you to, you know, make the presentation sing. So I need you to do some virtuals, I need you to do some mock ups and so on and so forth. And I did, and I think he was somewhat successful to try to, you know, get some money there. But that's just. Just kind of like a small little piece of who he is and what he does and what he's been doing, apparently, since he left high school. So that's how we reconnected, which was great. And on the spot right there, he's like, gotta come to El Paso. You gotta come to El Paso. You gotta come to basketball in barrio. And I said, great, that's terrific. I'll go. You know, and, you know, a couple years went by, and it was, you know, we couldn't get it worked out. And then once he knew that I had a son, Matthew, who was supposed to be with us today, but got sidetracked with his priorities, which is schoolwork that he's doing. Once he knew that Matthew was a basketball fanatic, then he was like, oh, God, you guys gotta come. Both of you have to come. The problem was, I'm in New York, they're in Texas. And the school year, the school calendar year ends in Texas earlier because of the hot weather and stuff. So when they were having the basketball in the barrio camp, you know, my kids, Matthew particularly, was still in school. And, you know, he was doing, like, final exams and regents and all of the end of year, you know, heavy duty stuff. So we just couldn't do it. You know, we couldn't go down there. So. And then Covid hit and everything got shut down. And then he contacted me again, and he said, listen, we're gonna try to revive the program now that Covid has sort of subsided. And we really would love to have you guys down. He said, the good news is we're gonna. We're pushing the program or the camp to July. And once I knew that, you know, it was gonna be in July and it now no longer conflicted with my son's schoolwork and final exams and all that stuff, then it was, okay, we're going. So that's how, you know, my experience with basketball and barrio is somewhat limited, only because we've only been able to have the opportunity to come down there once, and that was last summer. So, of course, as always, you know, he has. He's. He's a. He's a real. He's a great motivator and a facilitator, and. And he, you know, gets things done. So he said, okay, you gotta. You know, I want you to work on a poster. You got to do a poster for the. For the camp. We're gonna put it up all over the city and get everybody aware that, you know, we're. We're gonna bring the camp back. So he sent me some photos, and I designed a poster, and. And they loved it, and it was great. And so now I'm the unofficial official art director, you know, media guy, whatever you want to call it, whatever they need, they know they can turn to me, and I'll get it done for them. So that's where we connected on basketball barrio. So, I don't know if you have any other questions. I can continue with our experience, of course, but didn't want to just keep rambling on without giving you the opportunity to interject if you needed to.

[13:35] MANUELA VELASQUEZ: Oh, no, of course. I'm loving hearing about it. I feel like. Well, first of all, I feel like you're not rambling. This is a really compelling story, and I. And I feel like you're a very captivating speaker, so do not worry about talking my ear off. I'm enjoying it. Secondly, what an amazing way to have, like, come back into each other's lives. I mean, you're right. It seems like Steve really does have the. The ability to just pick up right where you left off after not seeing each other for so many years, he's just like, yeah, come to Harlem with me. Like, that's.

[14:09] FRANK DI DI COSTANZO: Yeah, yeah. There's no saying no. And, you know, that continued, you know, before we get into the basketball barrio, it continued last year again, even though I'm a year younger than him, I was much more aligned with his grade, so when I was a junior, I was more in line with the seniors. I don't know what it was. We were on the same. You know, we played baseball together. We were on the baseball team together. They were seniors. I was a junior. So I was always looking up to these guys, and it was just such a good group of guys. Not only Steve, but some of the other guys, they were always, you know, they didn't look down on the. On the juniors or the underclassmen. They were always, you know, supportive and, you know, encouraging. So I. You know, I really kind of gravitated toward those guys more so than my own classmates, because my classmates weren't necessarily that way. So, you know, last year, he's like, we're gonna. We're gonna have a. We're gonna have a reunion. All right? So the reunion was sort of built around or grew out of one of his teammates, a guy named Bill Bosley, who was the center on that magical team, magical basketball team back in high school and was the same age as Steve. And unfortunately, Bill passed away suddenly a couple years ago. And I think everybody in that crowd, the basketball teammates and everybody that was close to that know, to that group, was shocked and kind of brought back to reality because Bill was. I mean, he was young. He was maybe only 59 or 60 when he passed. So it was like a wake up call for everybody in a lot of ways, to say, holy cow, we gotta. First of all, we gotta watch our health and be aware that we are getting older. But secondly, you know, we can't let time slide by. We can't let time go by. We're all spread out. You know, Matt's up in Buffalo, and John Foster's down in Florida, and Eliza's down in Texas. I'm in New York. Everybody's spread out. And so he is, again the great motivator and got everybody to come back to our hometown in Fishkill, New York, just a stone's throw from our old high school, and have a little mini reunion. And I was granted access. I was the honorary member of the class of 77 and was invited to join them at this restaurant. And it was the first time I saw all of those guys and women since high school. So, you know, 45 years had gone by, and you walk into a room and, you know, you're seeing people that you haven't seen since high school, and in your head, you've got this vision of everybody in your high school, you know, as they were in high school. So it was a little jarring to get reunited with everybody, but it was incredibly fun to talk to everybody and get reunited. And that's, again, that's what Steve does. You can't say no, you know, say no to him. So when he moved to El Paso and became, you know, stayed in El Paso, settled in Paso, got married, had kids, stayed in, stayed very much involved with. With the University of Texas El Paso basketball program, and then became very much involved in the community. And Steve's got a huge heart, and he wants to help the community. He's kind of like the unofficial mayor of El Paso. And I guess he and Russ, you know, somewhere had this idea to use basketball as a way to kind of reach out to the community, especially to kids who may not have the same opportunities, you know, low income kids or anybody, really who wanted to come to camp, but especially reaching out to the kids who needed it the most. You know, that's where their I. That's where their hearts are. So they started this amazing program. And like I said, I had the great fortune to go down last summer with my son Matthew, and we didn't know what to expect. We had no idea what to expect. But it was. It was awesome. It was a, you know, it was one of those life changing moments, especially for my son, because, you know, it's very easy. We live in a. Live in a nice neighborhood in Long island. You know, it's. It's. It's a mixed neighborhood. You know, it's working class people right up to, you know, very wealthy people in the suburbs of New York City. But it's a bubble. You know, we live in a bubble here in New York, and it's, you know, mostly well off families, not incredibly demographically diverse. So it's very easy to kind of for kids to grow up in this area and have kind of a very narrow scope of seeing the world and somewhat. Be somewhat entitled. So it was important for me to bring him there. I remember being on, we went on a vacation years ago to Jamaica, and it was his 9th birthday, so we wanted to take him to this dolphin experience, which was sort of on the other side of the island from where we were staying at the hotel. And I talked to a guy in the lobby, and he said, the best thing you can do is hire a driver, a cab driver for the day, negotiate a fee, and he'll be your driver for the day, which was awesome because he was a great guy. And on our way back from the dolphin experience, he said, do you want to see some of the, you know, kind of off the beaten path parts of our island? And we were like, yeah, let's go. So. So he took us into some, some of the smaller towns, which were, you know, there was poverty. I mean, it was. It was apparent. And, you know, I'm getting caught up in the history because he's showing us, like, you know, Queen Elizabeth came here, and this is one of the older churches on the island and all these landmarks, and it was awesome. This is Usain Bolt's, you know, high school, all this great stuff. And as we're driving through this one really small town, and I'm, like, absorbed in the stories that he's telling us, I, you know, I'm in the front seat of the cab. My wife and my kids are in the backseat. And I turned around and I looked at my son, and there were. Sorry, I. There were tears coming down. And I said, bud, what's the matter? And he said, I can't believe people, you know, have to live this way. As a nine year old kid who felt. Who was able to be empathetic and compassionate enough to look around and say, holy cow, this is not the way we live. You know what I mean? And, you know, he felt. He felt compassion and. And for the people there. So that's the kind of kid he is. And I'm very lucky to have a son that way. So I was really excited about him going to El Paso, not only because it was he got to meet the legendary Steve Yellen, of course, I had told him so many stories. Now he gets to meet him in person, but also to be part of this. This camp. And again, we didn't know what to expect, but right away, like, immediately you're thrown into the fire. You know, you get into the hotel and you get the itinerary, and it's like, okay, 07:00 we're gonna meet here. And, you know, we're like, holy cow. We're getting up early, and we go down to the community center, and, you know, Russ. And Russ is there, and he's organizing stuff, and he's shouting out commands and pushing people around and say, you go over there and you got to do this, and everybody's got a job. Immediately you're just like, you know, right into the fire. So, you know, Matthew's there with his eyes are like this. He's like, what's going on? And I'm like, you're going to be okay. So, you know, fortunately for him, they put him in the gym to work with the kids with basketball. So great. He was good. That's his comfort zone, and he was good there. And then upstairs, they had a room where they asked me to go up, and that was a room where we would do some reading and some arts and crafts. So I was good there also. So it was this amazing whirlwind of activity with all these volunteers showing up, everybody being assigned a task. And then before you knew it, the kids started flooding in, and it was like, oh, my God, what do you know? Where do we go and what do we do? And the first day was a little hectic because people were learning, you know, the routine and especially us who had never been there before and how the whole dynamic worked within the, within the center. But, you know, you're dealing with these kids who are just awesome, and they're there to just have fun, you know? And, you know, it was interesting to, you know, as always, with when you mix kids who are from, like, five or six years old up to, like, the early teens, the early teens are sitting there, kind of was sort of an attitude, like, I gotta be here, and the little kids are just shot out of a cannon, like, let's go. Let's. Whatever we're doing, we're gonna have fun. And then little by little, the older kids started to kind of break down and, you know, they started to get into it, and, you know, you found ways to kind of, you know, communicate with them on their level and make them feel more comfortable and stuff. So. But the little ones are just awesome. So, yeah, so I'm upstairs with kids and learning about them. And even within those small groups, you immediately started to learn that there was a pretty wide range of experience and where they came from, and it was, you know, there were some kids who were, who were struggling. There were some kids where English was a new language, and so, you know, you had to navigate the communication vehicles, and at the same time that you're trying to keep them interested with some of the arts and crafts projects that, you know, some of them were really into, and some of them were like, this is kind of, like, silly, but you started to kind of watch the counselors and the people who had been there for years, and you start to kind of pull their energy. You know what I mean? You saw how they were interacting, and you're like, okay. And you sort of modeled yourself after that and kind of, you know, rode their coattails and, and drew from their energy and their excitement and their enthusiasm and the way they communicated with the kids. And then it all just kind of took care of itself. And it's this amazing day of rotating stations where kids are going from one room or one station to the next with dance and music and arts and basketball, and, you know, it's, you know, they put together just an incredible program for these kids, and they made sure, which was really cool to, to make sure they were as authentic as they could be and fold in guest speakers and guest artists and dancers that were, that the kids could relate to, you know, that were part of their culture and part of their, you know, their history. And so, you know, we learn with them and from them, which was really cool, the flamenco dancers and, and you know, spanish singers and just, you know, really cool stuff. And then they also had a guy come in who was sort of like a Harlem Globetrotter, Trotter type guy. I forget, it wasn't the Globetrotter. It was like the Harlem wizards or something like that. And, you know, the kids immediately, that was like a fun, a fun activity for them, and they, they really enjoyed that. But it was just you just after the first day, you know, we got back to the hotel, and we were, like, exhausted, you know, emotionally, physically. My son being, you know, 16 at the time or whatever, he was 17, not used to getting up at 07:00 in the morning on a weekend, you know, and out the door to go, like, work somewhere and do stuff. But, you know, he, you know, he started kind of sharing our thoughts when we got back to the hotel room, and we're like, you know, what'd you think? And he was like, it's just, it was crazy, but it was great. And, you know, and then he had the other, the other benefit where, you know, Steve Yellen's two kids, Anna and Jack, who are in college and also incredible basketball players. And then there were a couple of other counselors, and I think one of Anna's teammates from University of Texas Austin, she came, and she's a great basketball player, really, you know, great person. So there were all these young people who were counselors. My son was probably the youngest out of all of them, but they were all basketball players, and they were all great kids, and they immediately bonded, and it was so fun for me to see that. And to this day, he keeps in touch with them on social media, you know, kids in Chicago and Texas and all over the place. He really enjoyed that, you know, and if they had, like, a little break, they would play a little basketball with each other, and then we would go out to dinner later, and, you know, they would gravitate toward each other and hang out and share stories. And it was really, you know, he had both ends of the experience for him is dealing with the, with the kids who came to camp and learning about them and learning how to interact with them and, you know, relate to them, and then had the other benefit of meeting all these great counselors who were his age or a little bit older that he could bond with also and have a really fun time with. So that was, you know, that was awesome.

[30:28] MANUELA VELASQUEZ: It sounds like such a special experience and, like, about so much more than just basketball for all the kids that go there. I mean, all of, of the people who are involved in organizing it. And, yeah, I'm wondering, too, because, like, I think it's so cool that you have such an artist's background and, like, obviously have kept basketball as this, like, meaningful thing in your life since high school and before. And seeing that, like, come out again, like, you're facilitating the arts and crafts table upstairs at the basketball camp, I'm wondering, like, what about the arts feels most important to you? And, like, how did you see that coming through in, you know, integrating the arts into this camp for the kids?

[31:14] FRANK DI DI COSTANZO: I mean, you know, art is a universal language, right? And no matter, no matter where you go, you know, I almost became an art educator. I went to college. I got a degree in education. So I was, I was on track to be an art teacher, you know, probably in high school or something. And when I went back to visit my old high school art teacher, she kind of wrestled me to the ground and said, you're not going to be an art teacher. You're too talented. I want you to go to New York and do something with your talent. You know, we're not always the most appreciated part of, you know, school, and she really encouraged me to reach higher. Not that being an educator is, I would have had a lot of fun being an educator. You know, I've coached youth sports, working with kids, always enjoyed working with kids. My son, now Matthew, is coaching two youth basketball teams, fourth grade girls and, and 6th grade boys. So. And that grew, without question, that grew out of, you know, his experience at the camp. But, you know, art is something that, you know, kids enjoy. You know, you don't have to. I was, you know, I was kind of the oddball in my high school because most kids who were really into art were not into sports. They were like two. They were, like, diametrically opposed, right? So I was that rare kind of, like, jock artist guy, you know, with had two things going on. So it was just, you know, it was, it was fun for me when Steve asked me to do the poster, it was a great way for me to join the two of them together again. And now, after having experienced the actual camp, I know that next year, when I am asked to do the poster again, it's going to be completely different. I'm going to come at it from a completely different perspective, because now I really know what basketball is. I had a kind of a surface level feeling for it. So I designed something that was colorful that hopefully kind of sort of, you know, you know, drew upon some of the, you know, the southwest colors and imagery and stuff like that. And so that's where I approached it from, you know, but now I'm going to approach it from what it really meant to me, you know, and what is at the heart of that program and that experience, and that is, you know, bringing joy and culture and arts. And I was so happy that they integrated the arts and music and dance into this program, you know, that they knew, they were smart enough when they knew this to bring those in, to bring those areas in because they're so important, because it's, it's such a part of their culture also, and, you know, wanting to both, you know, encourage participation in that and also to educate the kids in their own culture and in the art. So it was, it was a nice way for me to bridge, you know, somehow bridge art and basketball and bring it all together. So, yeah, it's, it's going to be, he'll be, he'll be surprised when he sees the design this, this year because it'll be, it'll be coming from a different perspective completely.

[35:20] MANUELA VELASQUEZ: Now you got me curious about the design. Like, I want to see it, too. It just seems like, yeah, I mean, you said earlier that this was in a lot of ways, like, almost a world altering experience for you and Matthew to, like, come and do this. And it's such an amazing program that I can tell, really spoke to you on, like, a really level. And something you mentioned earlier has been sticking with me where, when you mentioned that your friend had passed away and you were thinking about, like, this realization of the time that you have left, and I wanted to ask you, what do you want to do with your time left?

[35:59] FRANK DI DI COSTANZO: Great question. You know, I, and I just wanted to, just before our time is up, to reiterate what you just said, it was such a life kind of altering experience that my son, who just applied to ten different colleges, he'll be going away to college next fall. He used the experience of basketball, El Barrio as the basis for his college essay, for his application. So that's how much it meant to him. You know, I had, I had children a little bit later in life, so I'm still very much involved in, in helping and guiding them. They were off on their own and doing their own things. And, you know, I, I would probably be looking for more ways to help the youth. You know, like I said I would, my wife and I were both very much involved in youth sports programs in this town. We coached, we were booster club presidents. You know, we did all that stuff. And it was very gratifying. So it would probably be if I could do something going forward, it would probably have to involve helping youth, especially underprivileged youth or low income youth that don't have the same advantages and opportunities that, you know, some of us are afforded to have. So that would be. That would be what I would like to do, if possible.

[37:29] MANUELA VELASQUEZ: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's so wonderful to hear how involved with youth you've been and, like, being able to channel that experience through, like, both people that have really different experiences from your own and different experiences from your families, but then also your son. And, like, getting. Getting to, like, go into these, I don't know, like, new pockets of the country, new pockets of the world together and sort of both learning in tandem. I'm really curious. I know that your son is not here, and I wish I could have met him, but I'm wondering, too, like, if there's. If there's, like, one thing that you could tell your son, like, one piece of wisdom, you could leave him, what would you think that would be?

[38:18] FRANK DI DI COSTANZO: That's tough. Just be kind. We live in a world right now that's very divided and not very kind, and we need more compassion and empathy for each other, more understanding from where people come from. Diversities. Just be kind to everybody and treat everybody with respect and dignity, no matter who they are, what position they have in life. It's important that we all view each other as human beings with the same amount of compassion and dignity and respect for each other if we can do that. And I trust you and your generation to carry the torch forward and to try to repair what my generation seemingly has broken. It's your generation that's going to make the difference. And that's, you know, that's probably another reason, subliminally why I want to help young people, because I think that's the future of our country, of the world, and I think you guys will make us proud.

[39:42] MANUELA VELASQUEZ: Thank you, Frank. Well, we are coming to the end of our time, and I just want to thank you so much for sitting down with me and having this conversation. It's been really, really great getting to know you more and just hear your thoughts on. On life. It's really amazing. Thank you.

[39:58] FRANK DI DI COSTANZO: Well, thank you. It was a pleasure.