Beatrice Lewis and Kathryn Adisman

Recorded November 10, 2004 Archived November 10, 2004 01:24:37 minutes
0:00 / 0:00
Id: GCT000903



  • Beatrice Lewis
  • Kathryn Adisman

Recording Location

Grand Central Terminal


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00:03 My name is Katherine Addison. My age is unknown. I'm middle-aged and I'm it's November 10th 2004 today and I'm in Grand Central terminal at the storycorps booth with my aunt.

00:21 Yes, I am Beatrice Jerry Lewis and I think I will get my date of birth because I didn't think I'd live this long. I'm going to be 82 years old born on January 5th.

00:36 Come this 1205. I just found a stop at thing off. That is that I have to negate the writings of that big guy. Tom Wolf funny said you can't go home again because I found that I could I was born in Manhattan live there until I got married then went to New Jersey and thought I would just die there but somehow I got back and it was a rejuvenating experience now.

01:11 I was thinking perhaps in the scent of you. I would do it on a chronological way if it all possible as memory serves me. My mother was a New England and she met my father who is some years older than she thought he was a refugee from the pogroms in Russia. His mother was Russian and his father was British and that event he came to America at the age of 14 and was financed for the trip by his half sisters who were considerably older than he and I wanted him to start a new life here in as much as they were these very serious sofa crumbs and Russia and there was the thoughts of revolution.

01:59 He met my mother threw an introduction and she came very willingly to New York and became a New Yorker very fast. Although she never lost her New England Roots. What part of New England pardner Rhode Island right now, do you have some memories of visiting? Oh, yeah. Your mother's family is very close to my mother came from a very large family very rollicking fun-loving group of people who never had any goals and Onyx have to have a good time. So it's a wonderful experience and my mother family. They had a summer home on a private beach and we could go there every year for the whole summer. We were there Christmas time Easter time Thanksgiving and I really a tribute some of my good humor to they are wonderful wonderful personality has any relatives that I would know where there's just one who has still lift on my uncle Irving who?

02:59 Composer out in Hollywood and perhaps that's the only one you have was that your favorites and ever since he was because he was only about eight years older than I was and we were very close and as much as we share the love of music, but I love them or where did you get your love of music from my father was a musician. He played with the David Manis orchestra. That was not his financial way to earn a living. He had some kind of a small profession but he loves music and we always had the station wqxr on always classified music and I just grew up with that and it became part of my life, but there has to be some Gene present because my brother was exposed to the same thing and believe me. Your brother is my father. I just want to make that clear and he is it was your only sibling. He was my only sibling, right? What was your relationship with him growing up?

03:59 Very scary. What do you mean? I mean, I think I know what you mean, but I'd like you to die. First of all, he was the star of the family and I was just a little nothing that dragged around. Why was he the store because on his own merits or just being a boy and he was very handsome very well-built exceedingly bright. Will you weren't bad looking? Well. I didn't feel pretty at all. How do you how did you feel describe yourself as well? My mother always told me that I look like my paternal grandmother and I thought she was as ugly as since when is that my father's mother.

04:41 What was her name? Is that the Russian That's The Russian Lady Russian. Coincidentally had Freeman three husbands in her life and that day and age.

04:51 How do I know they were husband's by the way or one wasn't which one?

04:57 My father's father the the English and how you are interested in the family tree. So you actually did the research to hire some of this with a short story about my my paternal grandmother and somehow it just lengthened itself, and I'm still working on it. And what I have done is romanticize the story against the background of the history of Russia at that particular. In time when my paternal grandmother first got married at the age of 16 and I will trace it through until she becomes an old lady and is brought to a why is it so interesting to you? And why would it be of interest to I don't know except that. My father's background was always housed in mystery and as a youngster, I was never interested in his life and what it was like before it was a matter fact. I was somewhat embarrassed because he spoke with a Russian accent.

05:56 And I didn't like that. Did he speak Yiddish at home? He spoke English, but with English and Russian and he was an atheist and he was a very frightening person. He had a terrible temper. And in many respects it was due to the fact that his background was very stormy and very tragic and how did you find that out from him direct? He never told my mother would feed me little bits and pieces and my aunts would say things but then they clam up as if they were shrouded in mystery and I accepted on a mat wasn't that interested and as I got older and this happens, I think two people as I get older you you look back and you wonder about your memories and then you regret that you didn't give your parents the interest.

06:50 Stop facial rightly deserved to pass it on. Just as much as this this group here wants to pass on an oral history for future people. Whenever the Year may come through that somebody would want to look up and find out what I said like that why do people want it? So that's what we're here for and I want to know about about you and what interests me is I never knew my grandfather Grandpa Joe your father the Russian immigrants who came over here at as a teenager. How would you describe him? He was a very good looking man with grey blue eyes reddish brown hair toll bridge and bridge player, but you are. Well, I'm not a bridge player on the bridge player and somehow it seems that I am I hold as I seem to emulate he he he was extremely ethical

07:45 And unbelievably honest did you notice that as a child? I noticed his Integrity. I did notice. Can you remember anyhow, a simple thing I grew up during the Depression when I was a little girl I one night about a week before Christmas. I found a $20 bill and the street I was with my mother and when we got home I ran to my father and I said look like I found $20. How old was I must have been about I don't know. I know I don't know really, how do you said Do You Realize you're feeling happy about finding a $20 bill. But what does it do to the person who lost it and that impressed me? So what happened to the $20 bill? I used it. Did your father know your father had some ambition sphere you didn't he? I'm interested in your relationship with as much as I had shown an interest in music and recognize things are on the radio that people ordinarily didn't of course. I thought of piano with you.

08:45 All children dead at the age of 5 and I was not a great piano player. I hated practicing. The only thing that was good about it was that I was a good site for you and then basis, but I had a voice so I would saying and I was in school productions always in the lead and he wanted to be a musician and what he did was visit his desires upon me which so many parents do and what happens is it becomes a burden will how did he show that I mean did he actually tell you what you wanted me to be a great opera singer or concert pianist both of which were beyond my abilities and he made me practice hour at the hour when he was home. The worst day of the week was Sunday when he was home all day and he wanted me to practice 6 hours a day, but he'd fall asleep a lot of the time. So what I do is take a book and just pound a few notes while I was reading the book so he don't think I was practicing. So what was he what was my father doing at this time while you would practicing and he's a little just carrying on with the boys playing football and

09:45 Baseball he was quite athletic person and I actually he wasn't around that much. He graduated from high school at the age of 15 and play to college in 2 years and then went to dental school at the youngest age of school at ever had but what's your memories of your you know, you told me about some game that you and Dad played when you were a kids that had to do with rest up during the war and I think was kind of like a charade to go go down the street. First of all, he was always trying to protect himself. So he would have me be the person to judge his speaking ability to talk about my dad your father. So I always had to listen to him and tell him him even though I was younger than he and tell him if it sounded good if it's voice was good. But what we did was on this was a terrible thing. It was at the time that the

10:45 World War II Head Start, we were not quite in the war. It must have been about 1940 and we went to war December 7th, 1940. What do you were held at that point? Well, 1920 through 17, I guess. So, what was Dad doing home? He was working. He had started a dental office, but worried 19 at that point. He must know about 20000 know he was it wasn't a practice. He was a doing an internship at Beth Israel Hospital. So what we would do is we would walk through the park and pretend we were Germans because

11:24 Everybody was Aunt I'd sure I'm in the right except for the German American Bund if it's hot and we pretend we were Germans that we said the craziest words I'm talkin about. We just gave it a German accent people would look at us in Hara window who we were about me the crazy things and speaking of the war the day after December 7th, my brother your father volunteered for the Army and was sent within months to the Pacific and spent his years there. And what were you doing at that time? I was working. So let's go back to your father's Ambitions for you yet, musician and then the fact that you went to this High School Musical tell me about that just had started that was it had been initiated by mayor. Fiorello H LaGuardia may his soul rest in peace. He was the most honorable politician that ever

12:24 And what year was he mayor of hay resume or I guess?

12:30 I don't know I guess in the late thirties around might remember he was a lover of music and he felt like there should be a high-school devoted to the Arts and for Creative people and he saw to it that this High School of Music & Art would be get I was in the first class we had to go through will auditions and they looked up already. I forgot what I said, but I sang and played and I will see you nervous. Yes, very very but it seems like a great idea but interesting we were the first class and we had no building to go to so they have is dust and the Wadley High School for Girls at 135th Street and Convent Avenue, which was right next to City College world are gorgeous boys. Were there were problems being that we were invading the territory of the Walled Lake girls. They resented us because they were being pushed out.

13:30 And there was a lot of animosity there I where they went. I don't know. I don't know if the school ever existed at that and then with each year there was increasing number of Music on. Students. So will you surprised to get in there? No, I wasn't surprised you know, I found so I would because I always send the lead and we'll leave Productions in my junior high, right? What neighborhoods were you living in a Gallop? It moved around very fruitful and I want to bring this out about New York aside Todd New York. You could move into an apartment with two or three bedrooms for $49 a month. In addition. You've got free painting every year and you got two months free rent if you signed a year lease, so we ran into a rhythm of moving every time the lease was up and we needed a painting my father decided we move so we can move into a new apartment. So what neighborhoods do recall from now, I was mainly on the river.

14:30 I drive and 139th Street. Oh, right, and then we live debrief spell we had to move to the Bronx for year, which was like another planet. But but then we moved back to New York. OA I also grew up with Donald Bronx and not New York, but you're thinking of Manhattan Manhattan, but the interesting say was we lived on West 47th Street for a while in the red light district because it's damn my father's lab and you want to say what your father did as soon as I stop. Teeth and bridges the people who have lost their teeth. I need work it up into a very big company with 30 Workman unto him at a bookkeeper in a secretary and was called the owl Dental Laboratory. Eventually. He lost it. Why was it called? The owl Den Toys R Us open Night and Day 24-hour 24-hour dental just like a diamond.

15:29 So the whole family was involved in this no just my father and my brother when he was able to do it would go there and learn the art of constructing tea some things like that, which did him in good stead later on in his profession of being a dentist your father. Was there a turning point at which your father decided that you should go into? This was a very tragic. He decided that he wants you to make a corporation of the family. My mother would do the bookkeeping. My brother would be the dentist here and I'm kind of glad and I would become a dental hygienist and how did you feel about them? Well, I I don't know what to do. I just went wherever I was told to go and when I went there I thought I would die because I'm the last person of the world who could be poking around people's mouths and cleaning the tape. I mean, it's a very Noble profession. I don't want to down at but emotionally this was not for me and how did you I went through the year.

16:29 I worked out of school and then I was studying singing at the time and my teacher got me a job with the Columbia contact corporation, which was the most famous Agency for opera stars. And they ran the NBC Symphony in the Philip manik. So I got a job there in the radio Dept with a man by the name of Paul Lewis. No relation and I work there and I just was a total flop as a secretary of taking a crash course in Agra fee and learned. How old how old were you I was about nineteen forty-nine States may be a little bit of off. This was your first job. This is my first job after I left the the school doing dental hygiene and the war came on and I remember that moment vividly. It was 11 a.m. On a Sunday morning December 7th, 1941. My brother was in bed eating grapes. Like I was a grape tree and holding it over his mouth and that he let out a yell.

17:29 He says we're at 4 and sure enough. It was President Roosevelt speaking that we were attacked by the Japanese at Pearl Harbor. And of course this change the whole

17:39 The whole country will how did that affect you and you tell my brother with him? I was quite close went off to work. We had rationing things tightened up the worry was whether he would get out come out of this alive. My uncle's I had two young girls who wear my mother's brothers were also in the Army and our whole life changed radically at happens when there is a full-scale war. I like that will let me get to when did you you worked for very famous conductors and can we transition to hardwood transition? I was working for Columbia concerts and when the war broke out the man for whom I work was called into service. So the radio Dept closed and my singing teacher you do ever watchful for me said I heard there's a temporary job, but just about a year with a famous conductor.

18:39 I called up and I gave him your name and go there for an interview then she told me it was Leopold Stokowski the world famous conductor of the Philadelphia Symphony who is now conducting the NBC Symphony radio Orchestra together with Toscanini. They share the mats are familiar with him at the time new event. First of all, he'd been in the movie Fantasia was the famous picture and also had been in the movie A hundred men and a girl with Deanna Durbin who was Sensational young singing star at the time. So I'm very well aware of who am I wanted to go to work for and when I entered the men's room where we waited to be cold. It was filled with about two or three hundred.

19:28 They look like

19:30 Movie stars Society ladies with fur is draped over the shells and here I'm sitting you know with my saddle shoes. How old were you then? I was 19 or 20 everything went on top of everything sounds like this was so close. I don't have time to breathe and I waited for my name to be cold and she asked me and there was a young woman who is the interviewer and she questioned me about music and wanted me to find certain terms. And I remember what she has to know what I mean. So are we going to want on today? That's what I say and no she question me on composers names and I came through and what they wrote and she said we will let you know.

20:17 And the next day I got a call that stack of ski wanted to meet. Maybe she thinks I will be chosen by almost died. I wait to tell your father. Yeah. I was going to be coming from Park Avenue and he interviewed me and he hired me and he said spots on the spot and he said he liked young girls.

20:48 I love he said bring a typewriter. I don't own a typewriter. I saw I ran like a maniac and rented a typewriter and carry this heavy thing and went to work for him.

20:59 Well, it was one of the strangest experiences of my life. First of all, let me tell you about the hotel Salt grave. Is it gone it's gone but next door was the world famous Russian pianist Vladimir Horowitz who is married to Wanda tuscanini toscanini's daughter and because he gave me the key to the apartment so that I shouldn't disturb you should get out of bed when I came in. So every morning when I wake to go and open the Door horror, which would open his door and he was in one of his depression's

21:35 Heatwave like that to me and slide wave back and pretty soon a strong arm to pull them back and slam the door.

21:47 A dab of us was James Cagney the actor said it was it was a thrilling experience but the work itself. He worked me very hard. I work from 9 until 8 at night and I've never heard what did I do? I was his secretary. I took his dictation sort of his bills. He made me do exercises with him, which I thought was quite peculiar, but I think it's what do you mean exercises? He said it was good for us to do it. So we do bending and sitting a nice up, you know, he's so did you tell me that he would dictate to you while I and make it I was coming to the apartment. I don't know if this is apropos of this interview right coming to the apartment to put my things away and he'd say come in and if he was in his bedroom,

22:35 He had the Shaggy gray hair a bulbous nose attractive. I thought he was the ugliest thing on earth. I mean owls hanging and his eyes were pink red and he's laying in bed naked was just a sheet over him. I almost passed out. I couldn't believe what I saw it, but I figured well, you know, he's a queer duck, you know so he can bring your pad.

23:02 And I brought it and he'd wait and I'd wait.

23:06 I had a sneaking suspicion of what could have been but I just sat there and I took his dictation and there were lots of letters he was so I shouldn't say this was so cheap. You didn't even have good stationary had this very cheap like paper and cheap white envelopes. And I would type of oil are a hell of typing to do.

23:30 But we got quite friendly then we had a ritual we had to have tea in the afternoon.

23:36 And he introduced me to a very fine tea China Jasmine. I will never forget that you told me how to brew it. We sit we talk and then you ask my opinion about things which was quite nice at the time. He was dating the Viennese actress Louise Reiner asked me what I thought of her I said, is that who you going with?

23:56 I think I killed that romance, but there wasn't a tragic situation there when he bends conductor of the Philadelphia SEPTA and I don't know if I should divulge the stuff quite truthfully. I don't think I'll tell the store. I think you should cuz you're on a roll. I don't think I want to because it isn't fair compared to who women in love with him. What they saw in him was his power and his Artistry. He dragged me an account of Gloria Vanderbilt. It only 20 being involved with outdoor. He was not involved with Gloria Vanderbilt there after I think she married him several years later and I didn't know anything about this episode and I wanted you to just go to what you were what you were approaching to say and finished. What I was going to say was that he was very hard to work for because I felt so I should have

24:56 Hours lunch hours. So what he would do is burn me with so many trips to do things for him. I could barely have time to even have a lunch so is young as I was and I'm surprised at you know, I do at my age Asus Behavior, but I was very upset about this that that I did have a lunch hour. So what I did was I did his errands and then I took an hour for lunch when I came back he was rage. Where are you been you have? No right to me and I said to him and I said to him I'm supposed to get an hour's lunch and you give me all these things to do and it eats up my whole lunch hour and I said, I think I deserve a narrow lunch. Well, he shut up and he let me have it.

25:43 Batman heat I just said it away. Is it something that you were but this is not what I don't want to chat about his his hoodie with a young that you observed that that I was aware and was very upsetting and I'd rather not go into it. So anyway, I work the head for close to a year and then he was going back to Hollywood job. He had somebody in Hollywood. I don't think he needed meal though, he sort of tender to sort of thing. But did you keep in touch with her community as I have them framed and I was very excited about working for him because I went to all the rehearsals and he was the one who introduced me to a lot of avant-garde music and especially Stravinsky the Firebird Suite which was something I like doesn't like her understand and now I am and I adore and then he did a very nice thing he let me arrange a couple of the programs fit again.

26:41 The minutes that each thing would take and it was very sweet of you did have a part in that when the time came to go back to Hollywood. This isn't just a he

26:55 Went to Penn Station to pick up the train.

26:58 And he was dressed to the hilt and I was walking next to him caring things and it was a show everybody stopped and looked and stared at us here to do look like

27:11 What you mean what I like that when you are accompanying him. Do you remember what you were wearing and something very Play I Heart but anyway, it was a show and I know I was part of the show and I must admit I was very proud to walk beside him and have people look at us and he said something to me and he never made any kind of a sexual gesture to me even though he would continue to dictate in bed.

27:44 Nude with a sheet over him. He said to me first of all, he called me by my middle name Jane by Jane was too simple for him. So he called me Jean net David a French Toast French twist to it. He said to me, you know, I'm trying to let you are so good. He said you are the finest person I've ever met and I know what he meant.

28:10 I know what we say. Goodbye and then he sent me for letters at that. Just ended. You know what I mean? That was that can you translate what he meant that?

28:19 No, I mean when he said you are what I translated and you translate yes. Yes. I understood that. I was very proper that I did not.

28:32 At given to any perhaps sexual exposure that that might have been present. They I think he was used to that. I think he could have had any woman he wanted and I was very proper very Prim and the stuck to my guns about certain things. Yes, and that's what I know. I know about you. I wanted to Segway because you fell in love with someone before you got married and that happened after that happened, right and let's let's just go to that because I want to segue into the present moment. So just you had told me that you fell in love with someone and you know something I don't think I want my family but he wasn't there probably not going to hear it something you don't want to see you know, I was so I went into a Publishing House how much time do we have?

29:31 Okay, turn quickly and

29:37 I got this job and I work for this man, and he was one of the head Publishers and you know, all the guys was gone. There was no young men around neck still during the war. This was during the War years. There was no one to go out with except the disabled or mentally deficient. Actually what I did with a friend of mine was we would go to the Anzac club, which was the Australians new zealanders and Canadians. They had this Officers Club and we can go there and we sort of mingle with them, but they would come and go there was no way to get a substantial relationship for two feet on something. So there was no one and I had this force and

30:30 He took a liking to me just first name Wayne.

30:36 And job

30:39 I was very attracted by the idea that he was so kind to me and so sweet and thought I was the most wonderful person in the world because I never heard those words from a member of my family and he was considerably older and one thing led to another and I sort of fell in love and this went on for a couple years and although we never consummated our relationship and then I wasn't married with two children and around after about 2 years or so. I met my present husband a true friend and he seems like a very sweet chap. He was a resident and radiology at Mount Sinai Hospital.

31:26 And I knew that that relationship that I had with the older merriment had to end whatever it was. I mean the lunches that we had of the dinners every took me to this this Opera then it just it just wasn't good. I was miserably unhappy about it because you know, I wanted to get married and so I left abruptly and all hell broke loose.

31:51 And I got another job but I Music Magazine, you know, as you can see I had no room to breathe in between jobs. I just went from thing to thing. Right but you're still involved in music at this point to a degree anyway, so I met my future husband. I know I'm about three three and a half months and I got married. Wait a minute this man that you had the infatuation with or you were in love with you. If you told him that you were going to get mad all yes, and what happened? Oh, he wanted me to go away to college and Iowa something and wait it out and then he would get a divorce and also two stories and I wavered and I didn't know what to do. This is unreal. I didn't even know if I want to be married to him. It was not based on anything that

32:36 That perhaps could stand the test of time or the test of his breaking off with his wife and children. First of all, he was a womanizer so you found that out and I realized he was right but I love the moment that you told me he was going to throw himself and he took me for a while and I thought he was going to drive the car into the river and I ran out of the car and I called my future husband on the very traumatic you can make a film out of it is that you got married to a doctor and left New York is not that was the tragedy in my life that after I got married and became pregnant almost immediately. My husband had to go into practice and his father decided the best place for him to be someplace.

33:26 Halfway to his family's home in Bridgeton, New Jersey, which is South Jersey and halfway to my parents were in New York. So we settle on this godforsaken place, Trenton, New Jersey.

33:40 Which I have never lived in a suburb in my life and I was used to going to concerts and then doing all sorts of things and I hear I was burdened with a child. So did you feel that this was a sacrifice sacrifice? I was so unhappy there that I would go back to New York every every 3 weeks just to breathe in New York Adventure, you know, you come around to things I made it wasn't a little horrible. I've made a lot of good friends this and that and that and that's what I always came back to your always came. They are always had a subscription to the Opera and you had a lot of a different careers. I mean you started in music, but you did other than your life what were some of the music up my Master's in counseling and then I became a college counselor for ride Universal went back to school at a certain point. I did not go to college. I studied music, but after I was married and had two children who are small I decided I had to go to college and I went to Trenton State College.

34:40 My husband is very good about it. I mean, you know, it changed her whole life around and what did you study? Are you at my undergraduate degree was in the music a liberal arts. And then I got a masters in music and then I know I didn't want to teach music. I loved it too much to have to deal with these little kids with carry-on and I noticed so what happened was I got a job in the estate home for girls, which was a prison.

35:07 And it was an Awakening experience these poor misunderstood girls who committed every crime conceivable and I realized that to be a teacher even if music you'll have to know more about Psychiatry and counseling and understand them. So I went back to my Master's wait a minute. You went you taught girls in prison. Yes. I have stayed home for girls a year is what they were there from 13 to 17 time job is right near my home and it was an opportunity to steal teach and the still have time off and did you make a connection with some of these very much so very much and I'll leave you with this parting shot. They committed all sorts of embarrassing things in front of me. Like what what do you mean they would

36:07 Up me they would put their arms around each other and hug and kiss and do everything to interrupt my teaching of Saw and I had to put on a program Final on what to do about it, and I said to them, you know.

36:19 I said you don't have to respect me because I've got respect outside of this world here. I said my husband my children my family the community or respect me I said, but do you know how badly I want to respect you? Well.

36:37 And a chess set back.

36:40 And from that moment on we were a team.

36:45 And we put on a production which was that they were great and they wanted me to work full-time and I did not want to

36:53 I still have a young daughter at home and about it left a tremendous impression of palm and it's about I went into guidance and counseling and you spent a number of years to years in my program and then I went immediately to work for a rum University.

37:11 And this is winning in the 60s or so.

37:16 This was in 7 Days in the seventies and you work for Princeton. What was that? The examiner four-door? I forget didn't you do some grading of SATs or some testing center people who needed financial aid and that was another career. That was everything. It's as if my whole life just kept rolling from one thing into another and what's your central theme? If you looking back did you take a turn away from like if you have looking back a regret or disappointment? Is there something that you would have done different looking back if I'd had my way and had any gumption I would have gone into acting that was my real love right because I see you as a Storyteller and you've done you were recorder weren't you and in Princeton or Lawrence? But which reporter in

38:16 New Jersey it's a fine. No. No, I wasn't really I wrote some articles for the newspaper because you were tracking down a mystery that you remember that we wrote articles on at there was a very that's a whole other. What was that about some strange cry mad? Cuz I don't know if it's time to tell about it this very socially prominent woman who was the head of the border of the Trenton Symphony Orchestra letter rather Eerie life and she poured into a area in Trenton, which was very bad and because of her became gentrified and one night. She was murdered in the most horrible fashion possible. And you said that you was true. And there was some kind of felt like a chicken that she was burned. She was it would hate to end on that note. It was way behind and I just felt like they they did they arrested the wrong man, although them.

39:16 Play rest of us very bad. So I wrote up a piece on that.

39:23 And there was never re soft right. So if you're looking if you're looking if you or your life has been like there's been so many different aspects that you are a part of it. I think the important thing is to learn one thing well and stick with it proud of it and not run around with you think is your greatest accomplishment if you were looking going to college is a married woman and getting my degrees I think was the thing. I'm most proud of you mean the fact that you went. I went to college I gave up all my all social life completely right and concentrated on it. And that is the thing. I'm most proud of right and also one other thing that you had said to me about life being a series of losses and a theme that I know that that I've noticed that you keep coming back to and some of the stories that you wrote of betrayal. Yes. Why is that? Why is that something in your life?

40:23 Betrayal hurts a great deal, you lose your faith in and humidity when you are betrayed by people and you lose your faith and trust in people, but you're not an atheist. Like I know I I take a spiritual but I'm not religious. I'm not an atheist. I believe there's a God somewhere, right? So if there's one thing that you want to hear some up with or something that I've left out, what would you want a sum up is that I'm very glad to be back in New York. Be the same person the city may not be the same city, but they still got great energy and

41:05 Dirt dog droppings and are you how do you feel about the fact that you had cancer and that has has that has that actually made a change in your attitude towards your life. Now know because I don't think about except when I have to go for a check-up. I high I just can't think about right because it seems to me you're going to Hunter you're doing every yes, I believe that's right. I believe that you have to keep going in life. You don't just sit still and let it pass by then. If you wanted to pass something onto your grandchildren, what would it be snow, but they might be when they're my age.

41:54 I got the happy.

42:00 Yeah, so I'm we went all over the place, but we have time in the past and I enjoyed listening to your stories and I really appreciate you asking man. I think this is a wonderful group.