Jack Halaby and Louise Rozett

00:01 My name is Louise rozett, and I'm 33. It's January 9th, 2005 worth of storycorps booth in Grand Central and I'm interviewing Jack halaby, who is my boyfriend.

00:17 My name is Jack halaby. I am 35 years old. It is January 5th 2005 and we are Grand Central Terminal and I am being interviewed by my girlfriend the leaders at.

00:32 What did you want to be when you grew up?

00:38 I guess there's a few different things but the one that seemed to work out for me was appointment.

00:43 So, how did you end up in the New York City Fire Department?

00:49 Bike Night by chance, so to speak went to high school went to college. My brother was Jimmy was a few years older than me and he came home one day with a friend of his who had a couple applications for the fire department. And at the time I didn't have a desire. I was a senior in high school. I was living the high school senior dream partying and trying to pick up girls.

01:20 And I want to go to college and at that point and be a millionaire in the Martin the Wall Street Market.

01:26 And he literally smack me to back of the head and said

01:31 Fill out the application take a test. And when they call you if they do call you you have the choice of whether or not to take it or not. Take it and I did.

01:45 And

01:47 Haven't looked back since

01:51 What's your favorite part about being in the fire department?

01:55 The Brotherhood the camaraderie

01:58 There's there's nothing more important.

02:01 Nothing more fun than hanging out with the guys and working with them.

02:09 Where were you on September 11th?

02:13 September 11th, I was on a plane coming home from vacation. I was 20 minutes outside of the Guardia Airport due to land.

02:22 And my plane was rerouted down to Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina.

02:28 I was on the plane with fellow fireman good friend of mine.

02:37 We don't know what's going on until we got down to Raleigh the captain flight attendant wouldn't tell us anything.

02:45 And even when we got there in to the Raleigh-Durham Airport, they didn't seem to know much was going on you to was it was still in its infancy?

02:55 Got a phone call from my sister cell phone call to my sister.

03:01 Who basically gave me?

03:04 The information as to what was going on.

03:09 And from that point forward it was doing everything we could to get home and how did you get home?

03:17 End up getting home actually the next day early the next day we owe my friend who was with me. We ended up having a friend down and running, North Carolina and we

03:34 We're able to stay at his house. So we had a place to

03:38 Get something to eat and to sleep through the night and then

03:43 By chance

03:46 We were able to get

03:49 Rent a car the next day and we drove back.

03:56 Pretty-much breaking every

03:58 Local speed law that you could to take it back to New York.

04:03 What did you talk about in the car ride?

04:06 I'm still a lot of uncertainties. I mean the day was unfolding.

04:12 Oh, whatever information that we had gotten was from the TV, which is basically having also gotten we knew that there was

04:21 We know that there was a disaster. We know there was a terrorist attack.

04:25 We knew that our friends from our media Firehouse when missing.

04:32 We didn't know.

04:34 If they were dead.

04:36 We were hoping that there was plenty of voids and

04:43 A chance that they would still be alive. So we talked a lot about that talked about.

04:52 But I'm in the cell phones talk to a family talk to guys at the firehouse to.

04:59 Keep getting information from them. What was being done? What was going on? Was there any new information?

05:07 How were the wives of the guys in a firehouse where died?

05:14 And giving them information as to when we were where we were and when we be getting back.

05:22 Did you know who was working that day?

05:26 As soon as I got in contact with the firehouse on the 11th shortly after we landed we knew exactly who was working. Yes, so we had 24 hours to

05:39 Not 24 hours less than 24 hours to 12:15 hours.

05:45 Knowing who is working.

05:48 Anna

05:51 It was it was.

05:55 Three wonderful four guys worked for guys died that day from from my firehouse.

06:00 One of them was the officer who wasn't assigned to off all your house, but was covering enough I have for the day.

06:07 The other three were signed and I knew them for upwards of

06:14 7 years 8 years

06:20 And the way they were a bunch of a heck of a bunch of guys.

06:27 It just yet. You can't grasp it and you can't understand it unless you

06:35 Living work and play in the fire department with the group of men that

06:41 We have and they are men but we usually refer to ourselves as children of boys, but until you work with that group of men.

06:52 And spend as much time.

06:55 Day and night with them

06:58 Did you can you fully grasp what you've lost?

07:04 Could you take a moment to talk about each of your friends at Firehouse... Sure?

07:12 The first one was bringing mcaleese.

07:17 Home

07:19 I guess you can say who are the top four story or the saddest story. Excuse me. The Brian had was married with four children.

07:31 And

07:33 It was a budding abutting new life for his family all four of his children under 5 years old.

07:44 And he absolutely adored them and he loved come to the Firehouse. He was demanding he he demanded.

07:54 Hard work for the people he worked with

07:58 But he enjoyed fooling around. He loved coming to work even sitting through traffic on the highway you come in Grumpy, but after a few cheap shots and making fun of them and making fun of us, we'd be right back on track again in the traffic cameras forgotten.

08:22 So he leaves behind a wife and four for young children.

08:29 Stan's migala another story. His wife is pregnant fairly.

08:40 New marriage like they were married two years or so.

08:45 And

08:47 There they were met.

08:50 His wife is pregnant and his wife wasn't due to have the baby until January of 2002.

08:57 So he knew the pregnancy it was in the beginning stages, but you never got a chance to see his beautiful young daughter.

09:08 Play a new home through building it a basically just finished it.

09:16 So it was another new career for him that he was starting in the family.

09:25 David Rubio was a third and the youngest of the the shortest amount of time in the firehouse.

09:34 But impacted me because I ended up being one of the Liaisons to the family.

09:44 The firehouse assign members so that we can

09:49 Take care of the family's needs and that meant his wife and daughter as well as his parents and his siblings and I spent whatever time.

10:04 I wasn't down at the site.

10:06 Well working in the firehouse with his family.

10:11 And

10:14 Got to know Dave in a way that you wouldn't.

10:17 Know somebody most times when you have a friend.

10:20 It's your opinion. It's your feelings about that person. But when you experience it from a family's perspective and you get the stories of childhood, he's not normally or she's not normally going to share with you is

10:39 Is the perspective that I got from his family, so I got to know Dave.

10:47 Tremendously without actually speaking with him. He threw his family all three guys were

10:59 Amazingly fun creative strong

11:06 Charismatic individuals as

11:10 Almost every store. You hear about every fireman lost that day. I think in order to do this job you you need to have a certain attitude.

11:20 Towards life and they exemplified.

11:26 That attitude

11:29 You have a sort of unique sad connection to Dave in particular. Is that right or do

11:39 Because I was screaming because I was his liaison to his family, but Dave they was like I said, he had the shortest amount of time in the house. He was gone for three years three and a half years. He was on the rotation which means that you do a year in your firehouse and then you go to another Firehouse for a year and then a third Firehouse for a year and we got the whole training purpose of that is to learn different areas different kind of buildings the differences between an engine company in a lot of company and he had just come back from that training.

12:17 So when he was first there, he was a probationary or probius we call them and

12:24 Was really feeling his oats yet. And when he came back, he had a couple more years under his belt. He was more confident and he started to know the guy's a little bit more.

12:35 So

12:37 It was tough tough University young Paul Bunyan.

12:46 He was she was a big man strong.

12:51 The gentle giant

12:53 And his family was incredible his family again gave me the Insight. That was wonderful.

12:58 That allowed me to see a world with of Dave without Dave being there and

13:06 Dealing with his his wife and his daughter.

13:12 Seeing how much they relied independent on them.

13:16 And how and you knew how much they were going to miss him and how long is going to take for them to regroup to be able to continue living their lives?

13:27 Were you supposed to work on September 11th?

13:31 Yes, Dave. Dave works to me.

13:39 I was going to like I said earlier I was going on vacation and

13:44 Dave offered to work for me and in the fire department we work for each other all the time.

13:49 You need to turn off. I need a Toro if you work for me. I work for you. It's a common everyday happening in the fire department.

14:01 And you're not supposed to

14:03 Think or feel that well, it was your tour and he died or he got hurt when he was your tour.

14:10 But how could you not?

14:14 He used to work for me.

14:18 I was most certainly working that day.

14:22 Because the person would normally switch toys with

14:25 Was on jury duty so had to find somebody else and Dave was that was the guy who stepped up and offer to work for me.

14:37 So yes as a result of

14:40 His dying. I'm living.

14:44 Do you have a favorite story about Dave one or two?

14:52 No, but

14:56 In the short time that he was in the firehouse he

15:00 Started to Electrify the firehouse. You can see that he was he was going to start to make a statement.

15:09 Dave was 6 2.

15:14 225 230 lb with the attitude of a with a boyish charm of a six-year-old.

15:24 I think we would enjoy rather watching cartoons then watching the Sunday Morning News and not to say that he wasn't involved in any care about what was going on in the world, but he enjoyed laughter and he enjoyed just the Simplicity of of fooling around.

15:45 So every day came in we were in the firehouse when they beat a pylon 25 to 40 year old 50 year old men and get a pylon caused by Dave. Somebody was bothering somebody we kind of jokingly pushing and shoving and all the sudden. There's Five Guys laying on top of each other and he said that's the kind of thing that he could spark that would bring that would bring laughter.

16:17 Did you know tea a day?

16:22 Do you still think about September 11th every day every day?

16:27 There's never been a day that goes by that. I don't think about it some portion of it.

16:33 Some portion not per se the day.

16:37 As the whole entire event in the event was

16:44 That day everyday cleaning up from down there going down and searching and looking and dealing with the families trying to help the families.

16:53 It is not going away. I don't expect it to ever go away.

16:58 It sounds something that's

17:02 Ingrained inside my brain

17:07 I don't want to go away.

17:10 I think sometimes of fuels anger.

17:14 But there's also many other emotions that I feel from it.

17:22 That I think we're also good that

17:25 That I don't want to lose that shows me that there is hope

17:34 And

17:35 When you're as closely involved in an event like that.

17:40 I don't see how anybody could let it ever go away.

17:45 Termite light goes on I'm dealing and I'm back to Smiling again and laughing but there's not a day that goes by that.

17:54 5 minutes at least isn't isn't consumed with thinking about it.

18:01 Do you have guilt about Dave?

18:10 I think I've tossed and turned on that one for a while.

18:15 I had a lot more guilt earlier.

18:21 I don't know.

18:27 It's easy to

18:32 Feel guilty about that about him working for me.

18:37 Because

18:40 I'm alive and he's not it's easy to feel guilty because he had a family and I didn't a wife in a trial. That should say.

18:53 Am I guilty to be alive?

18:57 To some extent. Yes.

19:01 To some extent. Yes, but I also would like to think that I'm doing things.

19:08 To make sure my existence.

19:13 Is well-served

19:15 While I'm While I'm Alive.

19:19 So

19:24 Did Dave's family ever say anything to you to help you with that?

19:30 Every one of them basically told me that I can't think that way I can't feel the guilt not to worry about that. He was working for me. They were very adamant about it. They were strongly encouraging me not to think that direction.

19:50 Not one of them blames me.

19:55 Which is

19:57 Appreciated

19:59 So but

20:03 As much as people tell you things you still have your own conscience to deal with.

20:10 Did the fire department know when they assigned you to Dave's family? Do they know about your connection in about the fact that he was working for you that day in a hole is a firehouse.

20:26 And in general it was the captain of my firehouse who asked me to do it. He did know that.

20:35 That he was working for me was I never asked him my captain never asked if that was one of his reasons for doing it or not.

20:44 But I'm not sorry that you did and I would like to think that I accepted the

20:52 Task

20:57 With open arms

21:00 It wasn't begrudgingly.

21:03 It was difficult the first time I walked into the family's house.

21:09 To see their faces

21:12 And to tell them that it was me he was working for.

21:18 Was difficult

21:21 But

21:24 It was obviously but after I had told him it was more in my head than the feelings. I was having more of my head then when I was in theirs.

21:36 Because I told me not to think about that. So I'm not quite sure if my captain was had any reasoning behind him me being assigned to him and his family.

21:49 But looking back at it.

21:53 Hindsight. I don't know if

21:56 It would have been the smartest thing thinking about it like the at that moment, but

22:02 Was definitely smartest thing.

22:06 It helped you are most certainly help me.

22:09 I most certainly help me.

22:11 Because of Dave working for me.

22:16 And knowing him but not knowing him.

22:20 I know him so well because again he was new.

22:27 It allowed me to know him and allowed me to know who the man was who who died.

22:37 How did life in the fire department change for you after the 11th?

22:44 There's no other word. It just did.

22:47 And it took

22:50 It's still going on. It's a lot better today.

22:58 Everyday

23:01 I 8 years 8 and 1/2 years on before September 11th.

23:07 Everyday, I want to work smiling.

23:11 Everyday, I came home from work smiling there was just it was no way that wasn't going to happen.

23:17 No matter what happened at work. There was no way that I wasn't going and coming from work smiling. It was and is the best job that you could ever have.

23:28 XI change that that thought in my head though

23:33 If they brought a whole new dimension to what was going on.

23:36 It was tough. It was tough and it was terrible at times. It was hard to.

23:44 Wake up.

23:46 And go to work.

23:52 You don't want to it was too much uncertainty.

23:57 Every day going to work and hearing another name of another fireman.

24:03 Who they found they found in the rubble?

24:07 Everyday for days

24:09 You

24:11 Will get a notification if somebody else.

24:15 When you were down at the site.

24:17 Going through the

24:21 Rubble looking

24:24 You knew that was going to help somebody.

24:27 But you didn't know.

24:31 Sometimes it's like what the purpose was?

24:35 It was nothing down there. It just seemed to be dirt and dust rocks.

24:42 But when you found somebody you knew.

24:45 That you were given.

24:48 As a term was you give me somebody closure?

24:52 I understand that hole close your thing.

24:55 Until we finally found a small.

24:58 Piece of Dave

25:00 And

25:03 It helped his family out.

25:06 And help give them closure.

25:09 Kind of gotten sick of that word closure.

25:12 But

25:15 Carrying Dave's casket

25:21 Actually helps give me closure.

25:27 But getting back to your original question was work work. It became a job it work was work.

25:35 You have to work for that everything you did was fun. It didn't matter what it was you wanted to go far and you were

25:43 Burn off is soaking wet on a sub zero degree day and Frozen.

25:49 Or a hundred degrees out and wearing the heavy gear that we wear and sweating thinking that you're going to pass out that it was difficult, but you didn't care.

26:03 Cuz it wasn't work. You were a fireman.

26:07 Auntie loves you. It was work. It was worth getting in the car and going to work. It was work being in work. It was work doing work.

26:17 And we work to come home from work.

26:20 Every time you don't want to go to work.

26:23 Everyday prior to that date. I want to go to work there were times. I want to go on vacation cuz I wanted to go to work.

26:32 That being said it's now 2005.

26:36 And we're few years separated.

26:41 And it's

26:43 It has slowly started to get better.

26:47 It's not where it was.

26:49 But it's definitely gotten better.

26:51 It is there it is fun to go to work again.

26:56 And it's fun to do work and work again.

27:01 So it's definitely gotten it's definitely gotten better.

27:08 Did you feel that?

27:11 Being assigned to work at the recovery effort was helpful to you in any way.

27:21 I think everything was helpful.

27:25 Tarantula question. Yes.

27:29 Everything was everything was helpful because

27:34 Sing the families

27:37 Are the guys at my house being the liaison to the to the de Rubio's knowing that?

27:45 Day would work for me.

27:47 Was helpful. His family was helpful to me.

27:52 Being down at the trade center.

27:54 Down at the site was helpful to me because I knew that it was being that we were doing something for somebody.

28:02 No matter what you were bringing home. You bring home something for somebody.

28:08 The people needed it the

28:12 They needed to know that.

28:15 Their son or daughter

28:18 Was found

28:21 And they can have a proper burial.

28:24 For them

28:30 It was a relief every time you heard somebody found somebody and it was a relief every time that you found somebody or helped find somebody.

28:41 I don't know why but being down there was just

28:47 It was more real.

28:49 Is more real being at the site seeing a site feeling a site then it would be if you were.

28:56 20 miles away and staring at it on TV.

29:01 Somehow it helps you.

29:05 Were you there the day that a piece of Dave body was found?

29:10 No, no, it was not his body was the portion of his body was found with a portion of his leg and his that portion of his leg was found weeks earlier and had been sent up to the morgue for the DNA testing and it was basically put on a list I guess.

29:37 So when they finally found when they finally identified.

29:42 Through testing is when we got the phone call.

29:47 7 weeks after

29:51 Did you ever think in your wildest dreams that you would be spending weeks and weeks retrieving human remains?

30:00 I don't think it's the thought that anybody has.

30:04 I don't think it supposed to anybody has run right now with dealing with the tsunami in Asia. I don't think anybody that I thought that that was going to happen. You don't you don't prepare for something like this in the fire department. We trained for fires and now as a result of the 11th were training more and more for hazardous materials and terrorism and because of the 11th, we now think that way we think that there is a possibility of another terrorist attack or another germ warfare or biological a radio radiological Warfare.

30:43 Try that now probably that we we thought about a fire.

30:49 Good old-fashioned house fire. We're worried about house being phone to buildings.

31:01 Now you think about it that way now year.

31:05 I could see myself doing it again.

31:08 God willing. No, but I could see myself doing it again.

31:12 Does that make you want to leave the fire department?

31:15 No, it makes me more conscious more where?

31:20 Again before the 11th. We didn't think about you thought about if you forgot about a house fire you thought about going into and the dangers of a house fire as Grand as they may be but you don't think about anybody else.

31:37 It doesn't want me to leave the job now. No it it doesn't make me scared. It makes me more aware makes me more conscious when I go out. I think I'm thinking a lot more now. I think a lot more about everything now. I'm staring at my surroundings.

31:55 What time you leave the firehouse to the time you pull up in front of where the alarm is?

32:01 So no idea.

32:03 No, I still want to be on this job.

32:06 Your situation is a little different on September 11th. You were a fireman and now you are an officer.

32:14 What is the difference for you?

32:19 More responsibility. What paperwork

32:25 My responsibilities chainsaw instead of

32:30 Anyways changed as a fine when I was conscious of the people who was around me and and try to look at them.

32:38 As an officer Lieutenant now I am now responsible for the people who who I work with it on that day.

32:46 I worry about them.

32:48 Everyday

32:53 I worry that as a result of my actions.

32:58 Is whether or not

33:00 They can live or die or get hurt.

33:05 So my day now is spent more.

33:07 Thinking

33:09 And reacting and it is just reacting.

33:15 So I have to I always have to worry about where everybody else is as well as myself.

33:24 Do you ever imagine?

33:27 That you were at the scene on September 11th as an officer you ever wonder what you would have done had you been an officer at that scene?

33:38 I don't I don't spend too much time thinking about what I would have done on that day.

33:44 I think if I had to think about it.

33:48 I would have done the same thing that everybody else would have done that everybody else did.

33:54 Nobody in their Wildest Dreams in the early stages that fire so that those buildings are coming down.

34:01 They knew that they can have a long hard.

34:07 Arduous task in front of them.

34:09 But they also thought they were walking up those stairs and putting that fire out.

34:17 There was no second-guessing.

34:20 Now how long it took to put them out would have been a different story, but there wasn't a guy going in there thinking that you know what I can't go in this place cuz it's coming down.

34:31 Eye to eye from a believe that in the early stages of that fire. Nobody thought that

34:38 Wants to buy a burn for a while, then I'm sure people still has changed.

34:48 What are the most important lessons you've learned in the fire department?

34:58 I think it was more important lessons I've learned is

35:04 That's a question friendship caring.

35:10 Respect

35:19 Being helpful.

35:22 Looking out for each other each other.

35:29 Have you experienced anything on the job that you would qualify as a miracle?

35:38 Quite sure

35:40 I was part of giving birth to a young boy.

35:45 Help I cut the umbilical cord.

35:49 What are those pretty incredible to do she seem to do it all herself? Thank God. I was just I was just a to catch it.

36:01 We are going to be a medical call for 4 for a woman having a baby and when we got there sure enough. She was having the baby and it was nothing that we would do to stop it. It was it was coming.

36:16 We basically got our equipment out that we use to help.