Gina Ferrara and Christina Tinglof

00:00 I'm Christina, [email protected] old. Today's date is Saturday, August 28th, and I'm from La Crescenta California. And my relationship to Gina is we are BFFs. Best friends forever.

00:23 Okay, I am Gina Ferrara Bates and I'm also 61 today is August 28th, 2021. I am currently located in West Hartford, Connecticut and Christina and I are

00:44 Long Time, Forever Friends.

00:55 When you talk well, thinking about a relationship, I think. All right. I had to take the calculator out today, and I'm like, it's been 51 52 years. We've been best friends. And when you think about that, that is amazing. And yet, how did it all begin? I my memory is very, I know it's 4th grade somewhere in 4th grade, but what do you remember? Who, wait a minute. So I can't. I thought it was we were younger than that, actually, so I guess I was trying to remember when you actually moved too old Top Hat. A homemade? Were you? I was in first grade and I was over in, in, not Charles in the smaller school that the newer School.

01:55 Let me think. Yes kindergarten. I was there and then I moved over to Charles to Wolf in maybe second grade, but then went back for third and fourth grade. So I remember, yeah. Yep, cuz I I had I think we didn't come into contact with each other.

02:18 But you were saying you thought we can't I thought it was fourth grade. I have memories of you on the playground in 4th grade. That's why I don't ever remember meeting. You remember our first play date together, whatever but just and what's so interesting. I think about a relationship is that we are very different people, you know, like you're right. I think that you're the soul of our relationship, but I'm the brains of the you make things work. I make it like, like, like the when was the first C&G neighborhood Fair again, I do think somewhere around 10, but everything seems to me to be around 10. I just, I think I feel like we met when we were eight. So CNG Fair could have started earlier. I'm not sure, but on the other,

03:18 And I remember that you said something.

03:24 Family says, the reason I like coming over to your house is because you have a pool, but I really like you so I don't think we got the okay. Alright, alright, so somewhere between right so we've established that. So how different we are and yet we were very attracted to each other as friends. And why was that? I mean, I don't know. I think they say people who are opposite kind of attracted, you are were very outgoing. And I think honestly, especially as I'm getting older, I'm realizing that I even though I appear outgoing. I think I'm more of an introvert and heart. So maybe that's it. Maybe you could just be the mouse that I couldn't be.

04:24 Want to come along with me on the ideas and that was always you. Yes, it was well because I think so. We did we go around and put posters or something. And we didn't get one single person though. I don't blame ya. I think I do remember that but not as clearly actually. I'm riding my bike up to your house over to your house. Then of course, I think about all the Travelling we did together and it wasn't just our cross-country trip to California together, but like it started when

05:24 Well, okay, we went to Glassboro summer camp together. We were always roommates together and then I think about the do you remember the first trip? We took together like a trip trip.

05:39 Well, I just remember, we went to Disney World when we were in 18, after we graduated high school and I was probably, all I know is, I just don't have the receipts from the travel agent that show. I remember the travel agent up in, what was that, that that shopping center? What was that shopping? Center called by State Plaza agency, by the dance studio. And I walked in there and said, we want to go to Disney World and she booked the whole trip for us. I didn't even know that. I just know. I just said to my parents. This is what I want to do. What you pay for her and we can allow and Melissa. We just think it's interesting how we had her go. And why, why we didn't go with Lori, and I'm not sure.

06:37 Yeah, maybe. But that was a lot of fun. But I also remember like I was so worried about everybody getting along and, you know, because who wanted to stay in the hotel room and who was mopey and who wanted to go to the beach and who want? And I was so concerned with keeping people together and you were kind of like, you do what you want. You know, I want to do that. They do it, we want to do this, we do it, you know, and I wish I could be that clear about things. But, you know, the other thing is called only. I mean, because I went with your family, a lot to Mama speak. I hated my mother made me go. And those were the worst Summers ever having to go down there by myself. I had no friends, but it was always more fun.

07:37 My mom would let you come though. It's so great. I mean, how come your sisters didn't go well for me to stay home alone, which was fine. But oh man, she loved it. I hated it. But then when you come, you know, remember we would like putting makeup on and go walking outside at night and for boys are so dumb, but I do remember smoking a cigar remember I do remember that. Oh my God. You got a cigar from somewhere. I'm not sure your grandfather. Did he smoke a cigar? I don't know. But you said look again. And we went out like Behind These shrubs business in Monmouth Beach. This Is A Moment's Peace and you had matches. I guess. I don't even remember, but I remember that we we breathed it in, you know, like we didn't have the flu.

08:37 Cuz we didn't know and we were just gusted, we couldn't stop coughing. We were just, you know, it was so gross, but

08:48 You remember that old gross house that we stayed in the old house? I remember the porch. I just remember the porch and there was a flood like there was a really bad lightning thunderstorm when you were there once and it was all flooded. It was just it. I cannot recall that cuz it was built over a hundred years ago. Still there. I mean, I would love to go back and see like the boardwalk was old and kind of just CD, but I wonder if yes, it's it's been rajendra fide. It said we would go with sometimes with Andrea to Long Beach Island, but I'm going with your family. That was really, it was a lot of fun. I mean.

09:48 Gone to the Jersey Shore ever, if it wasn't for you and my friends. But

09:55 Yeah, I was also thinking about in high school cuz high school was. I mean, I don't know, I loved high school for me to even though it was a terrible in terms of Developmental for me. It was not very good. But I just loved it. I love the socialization. I loved all of the activity and stuff. But I remember we were just talking about when we talked about the guy on show and just how fun that was for the club. Oh my god, when you look back at our yearbook and you see those pictures of the modern dance, what is wearing those liat? That's what you wore strange. The doors people are strange and we dressed up as prostitutes.

10:55 Seventies. It was a different time to remember. We did that dance. To the Billy Joel song. Oh, I remember that. It was one of the last year's. I think we went and we were in this great beautiful studio. And and I, you know, I did a great job, but the guy cut me the dance instructor cut me because, you know, the Glassboro State College, summer camp. Arrowhead. I was too short. Everybody else was much taller than me. Don't you? Remember? I cried cried? Yeah, I think I do. Yeah. I didn't know. That's what happened. I know.

11:55 We did do it. We did a duet to Root Beer Rag by Billy. Joel. Knowing that well, Glassboro. I don't know. So, what I think I enjoyed better of about a high school and college, was that the relationships I had with other females, other girlfriends were much. I felt, as though they had my back much more than, like, when I got the college freshman year, sophomore year, you know, a lot of I never got that connection that girls had my back because I, you know, I told you the story when I was a freshman in college, and it was my birthday and I came back into my room and they had the girls on my floor, had written all over my sheets with marker of talent.

12:55 I had confided in someone about a boy on campus and she wrote everything. I said to her on the sheets and everybody thought it was really funny and I came in and I pretend like hahaha. That was really funny and I was like, oh my God, I can't trust you. You don't have my back. And so it took me a while. I ended up making friends, of course, with Leslie and Cindy in college. And they were my BFFs in in college. And of course, Leslie is no longer with us, but Cindy is coming to Los Angeles next month. Ha ha nice, but I just never developed those connections with with females. The way I did in high school just wasn't the same. So so it's like bullying. That is kind of like at least I recognized it. I remember laughing about it. And then thinking to myself,

13:56 Oh, this is not cool. You know I got I got your number and you know, obviously I don't even remember the girl's name. I remember what she looked like but that was, you know, you know, there were a group of them. And yeah, that was that wasn't my they weren't my friends right? I know for me and college I just didn't do, I didn't apply myself very well and I think well, I didn't know what I wanted and which is so common in my life. You know that I'm not clear about what I want. So many kids, of course, it's true. And then I was friends with mostly people that were a year older than I was. So my finally year, they all had graduated and moved on and I just feel so lonely and I had no I just wasn't theirs that introvert. I had that difficulty reaching out and I couldn't wait for it to be over, you know could not wait for it to be over.

14:54 But then I remember our relationship through college. Do you remember what we did to keep our relationship up listening to us? But you remember like we would do phone calls that aren't maybe. I shouldn't even say, don't remember, the phone calls we would do to each other. I don't like, yeah, like stuff like that in front of you don't remember, then he was like, freshman sophomore year when we lived in the dorms.

15:30 Right. So now let me ask you this. When did we decide to come to California? How it, how did that conversation go down, so I didn't know what I was going to do. When I graduated infect. My greasing has said to me, he was going to apply to the Peace Corps and did. I want to do that with him? And I thought it sounded extremely cool. So I got the application. I filled it out and I told my parents and then you had said you wanted to go to California because you wanted to pursue acting and your vision. In radio. I wasn't into acting at that point. Oh, I didn't know that. I thought that's what you wanted to pursue. Chicago County had a place to stay and you wanted me to come.

16:23 And so I don't know, at what point, I think I finished my work at the end of May after I had graduated and went back home and thought about it and said that, I think California is better than the Peace Corps for me because I thought I know I could be an actress to go to grad school until after so you were I thought you were. Your plans were on. That's what you told your parents. I'm going to grad school and going to UCLA. No. No, I hadn't. I didn't tell my parents. Anything. I told him, you and I were going to go on vacation.

17:02 And I had packed up all my stuff and put it in the basement. I never told him, you didn't know this. It's a terrible know that it's a terrible thing that I just said. Yes, but you know, I, I couldn't my parents were just very controlling and they would have talked me out of it. So I never told them, I just said at once that at, you know, we got there. And remember I got a job like the first week we got there and I called them up and I said we love it here and I got a job. It was so sad. And so mean if me and my parents never really ever forgiven me, in fact, I mean up until my mother probably just four years when, you know, she just passed away. So with her dementia and stuff, even with her early dementia. She was still saying how I

17:53 How about a terrible thing? I did buy Leasing.

18:04 Because you knew you couldn't get out of there unless you did it. So you had to save yourself. Well, I've always had a fascination with California after watching. I Love Lucy reruns and then no, seriously people, ask me. What made you come to California? I'm like, I watched as a kid those. I Love Lucy, reruns, when they're in Hollywood and I'm like, I want to go. And then, of course, my home life situation was like, you know, my parents just got divorced and it was just so macaw that home. So I'm like, I'm out of here. And yeah, that was a great road trip. I have a quiz for you. Do you remember? We had a Rolling Stones Magazine?

18:52 What was on the cover? Cuz I remember reading the Rolling Stones Magazine while we're traveling across and we were okay. It was the summer of 82. I'll give you a hint. It's a girl band and they just got into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame like some anniversary or whatever and they got into the rock and roll. And I'm like, I remember that. That cover. Like it was yesterday. How to be the Gold Coast that Magazine with her. Yes. We had the magazine in the car with us. I remember my feet up on your dashboard of your, you know, the windows open because you use the air conditioning for some reason. I don't remember why was the car and we have air conditioning.

19:47 I do not. Remember, remember remember the first night was Missouri. We stop somewhere in Missouri to get to Michigan. And then we cut down to Route 40, right? And then I remember remember staying in Amarillo, Texas Motel 6 or something, but that was scary, but I didn't know where we were and I didn't know what to do whenever we were at. We just we saw some motorcyclist stopped under the overpass and we could see the

20:47 Funnel in the distance of like, what the heck? I've no idea what to do. You know, that was frightening. That was frightening. But I remember stopping at the Grand Canyon and we only walked down a little bit. We just in the wind was so bad that I lost my contact lens. That was the times of hard contact lenses when you lost a contact lens. That was it. Your in glasses. Remember, we're setting up the tent and we were pounding the stakes in with rocks in the Grand Canyon.

21:24 Yeah, we didn't stay in the hotel. We can't one night.

21:29 Weekly took a chance with us. Yes. I don't know why we have any weakness will because I guess we knew we were going to camp at the Grand Canyon, you know, we kind of planned on memory of their yeah, and we were pounding the steaks in with rocks and some guy comes over and gives us, you know here use this. And do you remember a town called Shamrock, Texas? And the ending was like enamored with us that we've had New Jersey plates or something like that and he started talking to us and we had no idea what he was saying. Just nodding her head going. What the hell is this guy talking about and Shamrock, Texas. That is so funny. So was he flirting with him? So I'm sure

22:25 He must have been but he was kind of slow, dralle kind of guy. And now I remember that. And then of course, the other one, I remember stopping in some deserted town. I have pictures of it in our photo album and the old man in the General Store. Are you heading to the big gully? Turn to me like the Grand Canyon. The big going? Okay. Love that though, you know, just as we talk over the years, just how we have different. We can't we have different memories, or we remember different things, which is nice to kind of piece things together. And then I begin like that whole story about the triplets in New York City, that you have no recollection of and I'm thinking or so, did I make that up? Did I dream that one, but it seems so real so I'm not sure.

23:25 Write up.

23:27 Yeah, I was trying to explain that to Olivia the other day and I waste because it's it's not clear to me. I think I'm sure I told her the wrong information. I dreamt it. I don't think I did but I'm how about our first apartment in Los Angeles. LOL. Yeah, I forgot. I had like that multi colored Carpeting and they didn't have any furniture and we drank Scotch buy wine because Antares make it $2. Yep. I didn't look like water. It really, it was so clear.

24:15 Who supplied us with all the goodies and also the grape music? What was his friend's name that I was at? Marlin? Marlin, I forgot about him. Are you willing to date with Marlon? You had all the dates? That's not true. But anyway, talk about all your dates. That was later later. You went out with him. So how many times do you like? And the funny thing is I ended up with a quiet man. But like, I remember he was like, you know, it was like the Marlboro Man, you know, he was very quiet and I'm like, yeah, I know this is not going to work on that radio is such a nice guy cuz he was from New Jersey. I think also

25:15 That's how we connected with him. But do you remember all the cockroaches in that apartment? You don't remember. I got them confused with college, so I can't remember.

25:27 And it was so bad. And we we asked the landlord to do something in the next day. We come back to the apartment and there's a can of raid on the counter. Like that was his solution and then one we wanted to move out to Barry Avenue or I loved Barry Avenue.

25:46 Oh, yeah, but everything is time. I was there right now. Yeah, I mean I drove over there last time but it does look the same, you know, it is so she she and Carmen and looks it looks like

26:08 650 or 6:16 or something? Like 6:50. I looked it up on like a rental website. Yes, you sure you sent it to me. It's 1800 bucks or something. Oh my God, I know, but look at you go to New York City. You can get a one-bedroom for that and you know, it's funny. That was a one-bedroom. I try to tell my kids, you know, Christina and I didn't, you know why we did not do it Gina. We we live together in a sit in a one-bedroom apartment. When you said, well, we were able to manage and still having a few no, social life and boyfriend.

27:08 For the first few months. We said we had only one bad. So I thought it was really funny. I mean, we were just so naive naive and who would have ever thought the think that you know, what was it that what? You know, what is attractive? Why why are we attracted to each other? And I think that, you know, you just make me laugh and you know, you always have and I think that's appreciates everything in Australia, every but all of those, when I think about how many of those stories we have to

28:08 Berkeley and could I have done any of that with you? 12? 4 minutes? Okay. Yeah, I think about the funniest time now and you hate this but I can't help it because the funniest time was what I want you to stand up and I am sorry, but that was hysterical and I wish we had that on tape today. I did have it on tape and I don't know where it is. I do remember the B, though, when I talked I talked about how I learned about sex and do you know the other night? I had my bunco girls over and we got on the subject of, you know, being naive and young or whatever. And I told them the story of Girl Scout camp, 5th grade. How I learned about the birds and the bees they were howling.

29:00 Yeah, so that is hysterical.

29:04 But there was a more you had to you had to stand up routines. I think you had to because I just remember you at the end of it. You were drunk. And you said I'll be sitting on my Abercrombie & Fitch spittoon drinking my martinis, and I can't remember, but I was listening to you. I was on the floor howling and you did it in a club, I guess with a class or something. And I think I was out of control out of control as pet that point as well. But yeah.

29:45 So glad I never pursued, stand-up comedy.

29:52 Oh, what a life. So I'm on the road. Oh my God. What a tough life. No. Yeah. We we have had.

30:07 So Many Adventures Together more than, like, I can say, with my family, more like, no one else I've had more adventures with in my life than you. You have a license. So we only live together for 7 years. 6 years. We don't live together for that long. We spent an awful lot in that little time for you. No good times. I mean, just let you know, when I think about, like, you know, I quit my job and we went to Australia and I, and Michael has said to me, and he would come up with the same kind of idea. And I'm like, no, you can't do that. I'm thinking of myself. Will you tell me about you did that in your twenties? You know, but, you know, you just, you want your kids to be safe and secure and and all the things that we were not and did not do for ourselves and we will meet there. I think about all of the risks we've

31:07 In a foreign country and how somehow it did not you know, it all worked out but think about if my daughter's say if they my daughter told me those stories, I would be aghast driving through the Outback, on dirt roads with a vehicle that was not meant to drive on the dirt road water. I mean remember, we were running out of water. I remember that. We were like, are we going to wear it? Where's the next town? You know, we had no idea where the next time was going to be a time when we stopped and we camped with the cows that walk through in the middle of the night. Remember that place had the telephone and we tried to use it and it was like, it was a crank phone and we couldn't figure out even how to use the damn phone. So I can't, I can't recall that the kids were playing.

32:07 Like a kite that they tried to make out of a plastic bag, and there was a phone booth there. And I just remember going into that phone booth and say, okay. I'm going to call home and trying to, you know, how does this work out? How to make the phone work? I feel like it was in that place when we decided never to leave the van to use the bathroom. That's what I think. It was that scary situation where the real weird animals walking around. That's why I thought they were strange, looking daybridge. I didn't recognize the animals. I was scared that came through, they were all so, weird-looking chickens, and I'm just in care for the animals of driving on Highway one, that long.

33:07 Highway and the sun was setting and in the distance, there's a kangaroo hopping across the Horizon and was blocked out by the Sun. So it's just as black silhouette of a kangaroo. I was so frightened that one of them or the emus, we're going to do come out and I'm not going to make it. Yeah, I wasn't going to see them but you know, I was thinking about one of the times when I think I just felt like life was right. And in Balance we had gone to we were in Sydney. I think it was early in the trip and we had tickets to go see Pat Metheny and I remember we had left the party. We had met those, the British guys and we had gone to a party with them. They had somebody had driven us.

33:57 And you know who they were. And they, I think I had, we probably had a lot to drink and we went into the theater and the Acoustics. I think I just closed my eyes and listen to the music. We didn't really even know, Pat Metheny at that point, and I just thought this nothing better than this. This is the perfect moment in time, you know. My best friends with next, to my best friend in this, amazing country that I never in my life. Thought I would ever come to hearing this incredible music with this fabulous. Acoustics. I felt like I was just so Charmed. It was just really, really a magical moment.

34:44 And I still have my t-shirt, you do my pilot, a new picture where it really, but I keep it in any paraphernalia from that. Oh, no, that's not true. I bought some pottery. I remember when we went to some aborigine towns. I still have the pottery there. They're packed away somewhere. But yeah, sometimes when I look at it didn't didn't you get a, a boomerang. Can you buy a? Buy, have a boomerang? Yep, and I also bought an opal when we were at the opal mines. You must have went to sadly. I it's my broken half. I opened it up, you do. But yeah, I don't have a lot, but it makes me think about when we went to the that's story about when we went to Oktoberfest.

35:43 And the guy wanted to trade sweatshirts with me. Remember the scary, dude, and we went to your grade. So, I'm grateful that I know. I never did it. I never did and I'm glad I mean I do that was a GW but sure but I'm glad that was a frightening experience. We got through just barely some of the things that could have gone wrong and knock on wood with angels watch over us. I always think about this that cuz we're kind of coming to the end of our conversation and I always think about when people say, oh, she's just like a sister to me and I respect just like a sister to

36:43 This person is never had a best friend because you don't have a sister, but I have two sisters and, you know me more than my sisters. Know me you, I am my true authentic self with you. Where, as, with my sisters. I know what I can say to them. I know what I can't say to them. I know what the boundaries are within our relationship, but with our relationship and you're crying again, stop it in our relationship. There Are No Boundaries at all. And that's I think what makes it unbelievably special to me. That's true. And you've always said that and I am, you know, I just know that if in you and you know, I'm not that I don't feel unconditional love from my family, but I really feel as if you know, you're there for me for everything. I don't hesitate to speak to you about things because I know you're going to accept me even as her if

37:43 Some of the stuff might be, you know, you're going to be you're going to give me a clear going to be the clear head for me, but you're also going to just say it's okay. And you're okay, and I value that I will value that forever. And I feel the same way. I have your back and I know you have my back and, you know, like I'm sorry, we live so far away, but I have to say the beautiful thing about covid is it's really giving us the opportunity to

38:12 Be closer. I think that we have in many decades because we can see and we have a reason to talk more and it just makes it's important shows me how important it is. That I would that we stay connected.

38:31 So, I love you, Christina. I love you Gina.

38:35 That's a good place to end.