Grace Nagel and Susan Gallagher
Description
Grace Nagel (32) shares a conversation with her mother, Susan Gallagher (62), about mindfulness meditation, mental health, the COVID-19 pandemic, the various adaptations of Frank Herbert’s Dune, and about how grateful they are for one another.Subject Log / Time Code
Participants
- Grace Nagel
- Susan Gallagher
Recording Locations
Columbus Public LibraryVenue / Recording Kit
Tier
Keywords
Subjects
Transcript
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00:02 My name is [email protected] to years old. Today's date is Sunday, November 7th, 2021. We are in Columbus, Georgia. I am interviewing with my mother Susan, Gallagher. And I am her daughter.
00:20 My name is Susan Gallagher. I am 62 years old. Today's date is Sunday, November 7th, 2021 and we are in Columbus, Georgia. I'm being interviewed by [email protected] is my one and only daughter.
00:41 I know for this conversation to me. It was more natural to think about some of our conversations at Chef Lee's and thinking about our Saturday routine and going to Buddhist studies and talking with each other about what came up in class that day. And some of those conversations that I think a lot of people are not fortunate enough to have really don't talk about things, like spirituality or compassion, compassion, and, and moods, and, and mindfulness practice. And I was thinking that maybe that could kind of be our our, our linchpin, our anchor, I guess. And thinking, thinking a little bit about what we've been talking about lately in class about Karma.
01:32 Karma and this precious human, existence are precious. Human birth, right? And how we're so lucky to be where we are in the time that we are with the people who are in our lives and I just yeah, I love those conversations that I have with you about that.
01:52 What do what do you think about about Karma?
01:58 What do I think about Karma? Well, what goes around comes around is what I think of when you talk about Karma and I don't know if I believe in the Buddhist karmic wheel and and some of those things that they teach, but I do believe that, if you put positive energy out in the universe, positive energy will come back to you. And if you put negative energy out to the universe negative energy will come back to you in the Law of Attraction kind of Ride. The Law of Attraction positive thinking which is one of the things that Drew me to say
02:40 The the meditation study cuz I really wanted to be mindfulness and and learn how to focus my mind on positive, thoughts and positive energy, how to control the thoughts. In my mind, the racing thoughts that I sometimes get because I do have anxiety and depression, especially since this covid, pandemic started. And I really wanted to practice mindfulness to help me with my anxiety and depression, you know, medication is one thing and it helps helps me sleep at night and it helps, but you also need to do activities. I've been thinking of starting a journal writing up a gratitude Journal. I don't know if you've noticed that on my Facebook page in the morning, like one of the first things, I posted something that I'm grateful about cuz I'm trying to
03:40 Really work my way through this stress and anxiety of this covid pandemic in, in positive ways. Right? And it's definitely agree with you about the medication because whenever, you know, if a lot of mental health problems, whether they're like naturally-occurring like you're predisposed to them, or if they're situational, something happens to your brain chemistry and the same Pathways don't work the same way. And with medication. I remember like first going on medication and going like wow, I can kind of catch myself from like recognizing that this is an intrusive thought that I otherwise wouldn't have been able to do and when when you don't have that support your like, oh my God, like all I feel are intrusive thoughts and all I feel are negative thoughts. And yeah, you're right. The medication really helps.
04:38 It helps you, I think too kind of recognize that, but then you do have to take the extra lift to say, how am I going to transform? My thought process is and yeah, the meditation really helps with that and especially kind of, you know, thinking about about Joanie and thinking about her as our meditation teacher and just use the old woman and her little Tibetan Buddhist saffron, robes sitting in the chair, just talking about, you always coming back with gentleness and compassion. When is that? That were not the thoughts that we have? And we're not all the things that we think. I remember reading something in relation to social justice and like combating racism, or homophobia or anything. And the salt was, you know, your immediate reaction to something. Is how you've been trained either culturally or in your family.
05:38 By Society to perceive something but the way you respond to that site is who you really are as a person. And that's really kind of stuck with me for a long time. Is if I have an immediate reaction or thought about something that's not me necessarily but who I am, is how I respond to that thought. And it's been a process of trying to cultivate an attitude of gratitude or acceptance or tolerance or compassion. And it's it's it's an exercise. It's a habit that you have to do and meditations been really helpful. I think for both of us on that. I've been so too and our lunch at Chef. Lee's has been very helpful also and you can't beat lunch at Chef Lee's. I mean, you know, after coming out of talking about things like Karma Nirvana and the Dharma and being able to debrief over some House Chicken and sweet and sour soup right now. I feel guilty eating sentient being
06:38 Well, they don't have very good tofu dishes at Chef Lee's and I'm pretty sure even the complimentary egg roll has pork in it. So the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs Yeahs, although my hot and sour soup as a lot of tofu in it. So yeah, you're right. Hopefully mushrooms. I guess I could just eat a bowl of hot and sour soup and not worry about sentient beings, but then I'd miss all the good stuff that they serve. Yes. Yeah. I just that routine is, is really fun and we didn't get to experience that yesterday with Joni being out and we had different experiences. You did an Outreach event. Yes, and I did three podcast 23 podcast. I've never done a podcast before in my life. So that was a new experience with me and it was a podcast with a group out of Milwaukee. A group of comedian side of Milwaukee. They wanted to do something to celebrate Veterans Day, and I know one of the comedians we met, when we
07:38 Are active duty military girlfriend, looking to Europe and texted me and said, hey, would you like to be on our Veterans Day podcast? And I was like,
07:52 Sure, why not even just thinking about, you know, the time that I drove you out to Atlanta to see a form of the, what was it? The Kings of Comedy Tour of the World comedy showcase comedy showcase, and he was up in Atlanta and you're like, I haven't seen him in over thirty years. And, you know, that's
08:16 Amazing that were able to kind of reconnect with people that Facebook Facebook. What's up, all of these social media sites as much as much as they have been getting bad precedent, you know, some obvious well-deserved scrutiny, you know, it's kind of going back to the core of like, this is how human beings are connecting with each other in ways that you don't have to be in the same town anymore that you can. You don't have to write a letter and have it go through the post office to reach somebody in somebody's name from your past, in the search and see what pops up. Send him a message. If it's the same person. I mean, I've reconnected with folks that I went to elementary school with years ago down in South Florida. I think I've got like six of my Facebook friends that I can communicate with regularly our folks from elementary school, that who knew I'd wind up here in Columbus, Georgia, from Fort Lauderdale, Florida.
09:16 But who knew that from Columbus? Georgia, I could communicate with people all across the country all across the world. It's just something else this this human birth that were experienced and we are so fortunate to have been born in this time. This time with all the technology that we have. Yes, and and ways to communicate with people. I think about that all the time, like, when gosh, if I'm driving out in the country, you know, or is it? Do you know, I've been going to all the state parks and things are driving through some really small towns and just going, how do people live here. And then I'm like, oh, they have the internet to they can with some place some places to buy thinking about like, you know,
10:09 The middle of nowhere if I had you, no shipping and the internet and Netflix and maybe. Yeah. Yeah, it's, you know, as much as we can Silo ourselves with social media. It's still kind of amazing that we can keep in touch with people. Like, I think about, you know, I don't, I don't talk on the phone, physically, with too many people that I've been trying to change that. I think there's some human connection that I get from actually, here is another woman's voice on the phone, but that's not always possible. And even just being able to have WhatsApp conversations with friends that I that I know who live scattered all across the world. That was one of my favorite things was talking to you through WhatsApp or Whatsapp. When you were over in Senegal Sunday, phone call conversation. I could contact you in
11:09 Talk to you and hear what was happening on the other side of the world. Yeah, it's amazing. Especially thinking about Facebook, where, one of the first things that I do or die. Do you do your gratitude journal on Facebook and say, oh, this is what I'm thankful for today. And one of the first things I do is, go check my Facebook memories, and it's interesting to see what things pop up on the timeline, that, you know, even today with like photos. And I was like, oh my gosh, this time last year. I was with Kate at Tallulah Gorge like looking at the beautiful waterfalls and the Beautiful fall scenery and 6 years ago today, you and I were at the Food and Wine Festival in Epcot and look at all these amazing memories that we had together and and all the places. And you know, try your answer series is an end time keeps happening. And you know on the one hand it's kind of like, oh, well, you know during covid-19 been able to do with many of those things as we would like, but you know,
12:09 The future is going to be even more opportunities to make more memories with people, which is kind of exciting. I think that's one of the things that is affected be most from covid. Is one of the things that I used to do with my job was Outreach events and education events and I haven't been able to do that. I'm really kind of 925 sitting at my desk playing Solitaire. Well, don't worry about the dress. That she's not playing any Solitaire, know that, but I really miss doing those Outreach events and people coming up and talking to you and I being able to provide them with resources, are those educational events. I know I have done some educational events through Zoom, but it's not, it's not the same thing. It's really not the same thing and part of it is
13:10 The field I'm in is mental health in reducing stigma, around mental illness and a lot of times people won't talk to you in a Facebook, or they'll come up to later in private and you can't do that and assume conversation sending you. A lot of times in my Outreach events. I would have people that after the event was over, would come up and talk to me and say, will my son has this, or my sister has this, but you don't have that opportunity and zoom in a more and give people the individual resources that they need. So I really miss that. And that's one of the things I'm looking forward to when were able to gather more. Normally, when Cove it is over, is providing people with those individual resources. They may need. I wish there wasn't the stigma that people would talk about things openly. But
14:10 It'll, it'll come, it'll happen. I'd saw something. A friend of mine posted something on Facebook about Millennials will say things like that. No, not Millennials. Baby. Boomers will say.
14:28 She went and spoke to her therapist.
14:33 We're Millennials will be like, oh, you should listen to what my therapist told me the other day. Just gets what I learned in therapy cuz we just went to CDT strategy. I learned in therapy today. Yeah, it's happening. People are starting to put Mental Health on parity with physical health and I'm really glad to see that ya. It thats. You know, the I still think about when back in the days when it was our two weeks to stop, the spread will just keep up your Netflix playlist and put on some cozy socks and it'll all be fine. And cuz I remember I was still working at drug court at the time and I had my drug court cell phone and you and I were in a movie. I don't remember which movie is. Oh, we are watching, Okay, Siri watching Emma in the movie theater, and I remember feeling the phone buzz in my pocket cuz we were kind of an alert of snow. Are we going to be in the office or are we not? And
15:33 I had taken, I taken the time off, I gotten my implant. The extraction done for my to. So I'd already been out that Thursday and Friday was kind of recuperating, and it my mind I was thinking, I could take another two weeks of work at at all of this in this be fine. And that's not a week's just dragged. All the Argentine is just started a new job during the pandemic. That's been
16:03 Wow, I would never ever want to suggest anyone to do that. It's, I love the work that I do. And I love my co-workers. But, you know, the whole thing of when you're starting a new job. And and all of the little minutiae that go into that, where it's like, oh, who do you talk to about ordering supplies for this project? And it is still watering hole for you to gather around on either side of this to gossip about our share, workplace news and things. And it's I even think to because you know, a lot of my work with my dog, kind of similarly doing Outreach for early, childhood education. How many babies are being born? During the pandemic, who it seems like the trend is either that they're incredibly social and friendly to everyone around them or they get scared and crowds, and thinking about what is this going to do? Long term for these kids who?
17:03 If they've been inside in like the only people they know or their immediate family and maybe their neighbors and, you know, social distancing is is powerful, but it's, it's also got a lot of consequences and well, I'm grateful that I've been able to go to the office every day that our office never shut down because that's giving me a routine Monday through Friday, 9 to 5 and establishing a routine where if I had to work from home, I don't know how my routine will be established. Should I take it so important when you have anxiety that you have a routine is established plus. I don't know how it would be, you know, you've been living with me since you got back from the from the Peace Corps and working with drug court. If you were working at home do that or is that would have been a nightmare?
18:03 So the very least you could go to your office and shut the door and kind of be socially distant and not play Solitaire instead, right multimillion-dollar? Grab. Yeah, so you could be able to do that and kind of get out and about and but, you know, one thing that I think has really been the most positive take-away, or at least, the biggest action item, is it worth for covid? Is people still got stuff done working from home? And I've so enjoyed, like, even when I'm at home working that, you know, I can do a load of laundry. If I need to, you know, that the whole concept did the 40-hour work week of expecting everybody to kind of do it all, when we don't live in an economy where you have a stay-at-home spouse, but probably the wife for lack of a better term. And then you had the breadwinner and the kids and you have the one person who brings home the bacon in the
19:03 One person who keeps everything tidy and everything at home, like hold making is a real thing. And it's a full-time job, full-time job. And the ability to kind of, you know, not dedicate every single hour outside of work to maintaining home. There's a balance somewhere and I think more people are kind of advocating for like can I keep the spouse? Like I'm on maintaining my same productivity level and, and doing that some people, probably not, but some people. Yeah, and and that's, that's powerful. I want to talk about some of the things that we've shared. I've watched more Netflix. It's brought us together. Culturally like when everybody was watching hydrogen. Oh my God.
20:03 Any of those that brought us together, it was like we had a national water cooler where everybody was involved in the same. So I mean the cultural Zeitgeist that is Netflix and all these other shows that are on demand. Do you know Apple TV is making a killing with Ted lasso and all these other things. But yeah, so at least that's kind of interesting. We're all it's a double-edged sword though, because if everyone's talking about the same thing that nobody's talking about anything different but some of the stuff it's been coming out has been really good. I love squid game at that. There were some parts that were definitely predictable for me. And then there were other ones. I was like, I did not see that coming. Is you haven't watched, I haven't watched but I would I would be up and there were a couple of episodes ride. I didn't want to wake you up, but I was like almost screaming at the TV going.
21:04 Yeah, so that's been kind of an interesting moment. And, you know, something particular for my generation is all of the memes. I mean, culture is something that even when I was in freshman year of high school, that was a thing where we had like early memes. And now your generation is getting into any kind of other times. You have to explain them to me. Oh, yeah, I know, because you were not raised on the internet like I was so it's a little interesting, just watching it at the stereotypical Boomer memes are like, oh, minions and good morning Facebook, you know, making poking fun at our own mental health. At our own kind of generational, incompetence as it were, I'm surprised you haven't talked about the thing that has brought us to
22:04 Together over the years where and what I'm talking about now, is Frank Herbert to do all my gosh, dude at all. I ever brought a Dean at all and I won't thank you for introducing me to Dune cuz I hurt when you talked about it originally, I was like,
22:28 That's what something about Black Star Wars, but I was like, well, if you like Star Wars, you really need to do is just Star Wars off. But I mean, I remember when you told me about the David Lynch version and I I kind of had heard a little bit about it. And I remember when we started watching the Sci-Fi series and I was talking with my friend Kristoff, who I thought he had seen tooth turns out, he'd only played a video game about dude, but there's enough of the backstory and there were he was like he could kind of fill me in on some things. I remember telling him I was like, so this is Game of Thrones in space set in Arabia where spice is an allegory for oil. And it's also cocaine and there's also people tripping on Space mushrooms and folding space. And there's witches doing a eugenic project and he just said, yes.
23:27 Make sure that I was tracking with everything that was going on. So it's been really fascinating and you know, I know that you've had your your issues with the Denny's on the adaptation. Oh my God, I think that's probably been the best one in terms of Italy sticking to the book and Visually stunning. I mean the ornithopter is the ornithopter zalone, wig made the entire movie. They were so beautifully done. We didn't get any ornithopter is in the David Lynch version.
24:03 No, and the ones on the Syfy for in the computer-generated Graphics. Weren't at the David Lynch version. I just thought the costuming was beautiful. I thought it reminded me of like being in a Medici Palace or something of area italianate version of what's going on. In this story was very, you had to read the book to understand what was going on in the deadlands. Gave her. No Exposition in that song whatsoever. It was just here is the visual image in my head that I see when I watched you and if you don't know what I'm talking about. Well, then you're SOL. This is, this is just what it is and I am so happy that we watch the Syfy series first because that was like, well, that's what I thought. I would have been lost recommended watching that sci-fi version first, cuz it really took its time explaining what was going on and then watch the David Lynch version.
25:03 Is, I think the Denny's on newer version, kind of got you have this, the beautiful. And I know you probably didn't think a lot of the cost. Me, was beautiful. I, I thought it was great. I love the juxtaposition of caladan and the Beautiful like water planet with a racket. And he did such a good job because I told you, I was like, putting June on screen, is any cinematographers Afghanistan like this is where your Empire crumbles into the Dustin dies. And I think Denny's on Earth has had the best success with that so far where he's able to really, fulfill a lot of the things that are in the story that are in the book itself, communicating some of the greater Exposition, because so much are Frank Herbert stuff is like the subtext that goes on inside of the novels and it's it's hard to capture that on screen because it's a visual.
26:03 Am I supposed to write in one? You're supposed to show and not? Tell Ryan? I know, I'm glad they got greenlit for part two, cuz I would have said I was very disappointed where they left the movie hanging. I personally want the 5-Hour unedited. I don't want the director's cut. I don't need any of them there. Then my ear explaining everything about what's going on, but I would love the extended version of all the stuff that's happening. But I think that's something where I don't think you were expecting me to get into Dune, the way that I did. The means are fire. I know by because I remember, when, you know, I was just in Indianapolis with Dad for my cousin, Elizabeth graduation from nursing school, and we were talking about like, some
27:03 Along the lines of like, old what movies and stuff have we seen recently, and I was like, well, I'm not really seeing anything that really kind of catches my eye, but I have to watch the Dune movie and I remember dad just kind of his face going. Like I think you probably forced him to watch it. And David Lynch, first dad is not a David Lynch fan and it's doing is David Lynch's more his most mainstream film. I'd probably say it. You know, I don't think Dad would sit through a racer head or any other David Lynch film or Twin Peaks. Dad is not a Twin Peaks person, but just the fact we was like, God, you and your mother are the exact same.
27:48 I am glad that I got to have that with you. And that was a great way to pass a couple of covid-19 where we're not getting out of doing anything or do you want to do? And yeah, I've been able to bond with my one of my new co-workers over that where the weekend after the movie came out. The first thing we talked about on Monday was, did you see. Did you see David? And her husband? It's watched it in the theater and then immediately came home and I was like, oh, yeah, that sounds like my weekend. So, I mean, but that's something we're like you. I wouldn't call myself a nerd in like ass, like I don't go to Comic-Con. I don't cosplay. I don't play Dungeons & Dragons. I don't do any of those things. But like I have a healthy appreciation for Star Trek, and Star Wars, and now, June scissor classics.
28:48 Courses would have thought everybody thinks that way. Or I mean mom when I talk about Star Wars with you. I mean, you know, that was something that you did growing up with me was like, do or do not. There is no try like, how many parents are out there quoting Yoda at their kids to be like, mama tried really hard of this testing. But, you know, that's a little, that's dipping, a toe, into some nerd done. Like I can imagine you in it in a different life cosplaying as seven of nine or something at like a start, right, but I don't know, but or even like Lord of the Rings. And I remember I've been telling telling some people about like, you know, I was that kid in Middle School who had a copy of the silmarillion. I would like practice writing and Leo
29:48 I guess I was like that was the extent of my nerd. But just, you know, thinking about so or even The Fifth Element, you know, we had ya, another classic by great soundtrack, Brave, soundtrack, great costuming. And but just thinking about, like, all of those things where that was normal for me as though, when you would be staying up and falling asleep on, you know, listening to YouTube videos, like a lot of people do now. I think, I know I do, and for the longest time, you were just watching the philosophy of Crayola and going in dirty over that and I I remember I was like, Darius and there's a Star Wars fan. So you don't know about the philosophy of crayon. Like, you're going into the extended universe of the comic books at the animated series and I'm, like, your favorite person on Twitter is Mark Hamill, just, you know, you love somebody like that mean that you sent to
30:48 Mark Campbell pulling into the Tashi station in Ireland. And you just feel like the whole day. I mean, I, I think those those are things like when I think about some of the, the connections and touch points that we have, it's always good at like, you were the one who can introduce me to a lot of that stuff. And or even just like my taste in music, like, when I think about, like growing up and, you know, thinking, well, what did my mom play in the car Celtic Woman, the English Beat Moby, Gabriel about Stephen Biko.
31:31 You know, thinking about that, like, those are all of the influences that, like, you know, and and not to get more bitter or anything. But like when I think about like how I want to remember you, it's going to be a lot of those things of like, you know, cuz you're not going anywhere anytime soon. Like the women are family lived to be the ripe old age of bitter at 90. So, you know, you've got thirty years left of of nerding out with stuff from your lips to God's ears at least the idea of of going to like all the Buddhist Studies classes. Obviously, we think about impermanence and stuff a lot. And that's, that's been on my mind a lot and maybe covid has kind of quadrupled the existential anxiety that I have a lot like thinking about death, anxiety and finality and
32:30 I mean, I've been trying to work on reducing my ego clinging and and and kind of like exploring some death topics. And I really think what really catapulted that for me was when Miss Kitty died. Oh, yeah, you know she passed away this past June in the middle of the pandemic and I've been working from home and she was your constant companion for a year and even more than a year. And there are certain things that, you know, behaviors that we did every day. And, you know, it was like she was she was well and then she wasn't and by the time that we saw it, you know, I firmly believe that the way things unfolded with Miss Kitty was the best possible outcome that we didn't have to worry about it. You know, she was sick with anemia and stomach cancer and all these other things. If we had known about it earlier, we would have just been worried about it constantly and just being
33:30 Sick to death with anxiety about it. Well, that's the thing with cats as they mask their illnesses yet. I don't show weaknesses. It's very difficult for them to do that. But just thinking about texting Sewell, maybe like ever since I got back from Senegal.
33:50 A little voice in the back of my head. Like, whenever Miss Kitty would be in bed with me and like, cuddle up on my chest or anything. You know, sometimes I would have been like watching something on my phone, like, you know, move away but something kind of told me like you're not going to always have her so, you know, like take the time and show the affection to her. And I'm so happy that I did and just thinking about like all of the people in our lives that for whatever reason, we don't talk about like we don't tell people that we love them and we don't tell them other meaningful to us and like, I don't know when Miss Kitty died. It was a lot of like
34:36 Obviously the impermanence of everything and also just like, I hope that she was okay, like that the process of dying was fine, but just thinking about like, okay, you know, everything keeps moving forward and and, you know, one day I'm going to be dead in the ground is linear. Well, as far as we know. I'm probably it's linear for all of that. Money for human beings in this current ERA of our existence, but
35:10 Just,
35:12 Yeah, I like.
35:15 Thinking of thinking a lot about that and kind of coming to grips with my own mortality and thinking about, like what, what is the life that I really want for myself and I think with covid-19 has been on pause for almost 2 years. Now. You know, what, what direction are we moving in? Like, what are the things? What are the things that we tell ourselves that are true? But maybe don't necessarily apply that we can strip away to find our most authentic selves or like, as Joni would say, like we have the Buddha nature in our heart and all the perception that we have around us are like a lampshade that covers the brightness of that Buddha nature. And we can poke little holes in it to Lake. Let the light shine through and maybe one day we can, we can lift the lampshade off and just let our let our true selves in our kindness and our loving energy. Just be visible to everyone.
36:14 We've been living through some difficult days. I mean, the divisions in the country or are very difficult to watch. I don't even like watching an ass and it hurts anymore. And I don't watch any of the, like, the pundits on CNN or Fox News or Emma's it. I'm just tired of that. I'd much rather watch old episodes of The Andy Griffith Show and see people in happy times. And, you know, the worst thing that you have to worry about is Aunt, Bee crashing, their car into simpler times. This is just too much Strife going on around us, which is one of the reasons. I'm kind of glad covid.
37:03 Pulled my world in a little bit tighter. So so to speak, you know, for a little bit tighter a little bit closer and it makes you
37:18 I could tell I was starting to feel a little bit better when the weeks didn't drag on. So slowly the weeds are starting to pick up the days or started to go a little bit quicker which is sad and one aspect because you talked about, you know, our own mortality with the B. If the days are going by quick or my end is coming to pick her butt.
37:45 Otherwise, you know, I remember when you were a kid and time passed so quickly to Summertime was here and then it was gone. That's kind of the way I feel right now. I mean, I'm talking about. Should we put our Christmas tree up now? People have put their Christmas tree up early cuz the covid pandemic. They want some joy in their life. I think I'm going to stick to my tradition and do it on Thanksgiving weekend. Yeah. I just, you know, I'm just happy that I've been able to be here with you yet the thought of either you being alone during the covid, pandemic as your one and only daughter who, you know, just loves you so very much. But just thinking about, you know, either you being alone or me being with a roommate, or someone who's not family or something through this entire thing.
38:37 I'm at least happy that, you know, we ended up where we are right now. And if so, I think I think that's been really helpful for for us. And I think we've we've helped grow in shape each other a little bit during the whole two years. I'm very grateful that you have been here with me during this covid pandemic. Cuz if I was home alone and just the normal anxiety from the covid, pandemic compounded with being alone. Oh, yeah, I would have been just too much for me too much to bear. I feel sorry for people that don't have that are alone during the covid pandemic and social isolating. It need to be very tough for them. But I'm very grateful. I'm grateful that you're my daughter. You're the thing that I'm most proud of you excel at everything you do, which I think is just fantastic. You make a difference in people's lives.
39:37 Is very important?
39:40 And you're my, You're My Greatest accomplishment, even if you are doing a tick.
39:52 Yeah, I just every everything that I that I am has been because you helped shape me this way, but I think a lot of it is your own personality coming through. I think baby. I exposed you to some things but you've picked and chose and what you gravitate towards, you're definitely your own person and I've learned from you. Also. I've learned from being a parent and I've learned from you as an adult child being under the same roof with me.
40:29 Their memes. I've never would have seen it if it wasn't for you. Well that if my legacy is as a meme archivist, then I will consider my life to be complete. So I'm I'm just happy that, you know, I was born to be your child. Will thank you, I guess that's karma.
40:53 Do you know if you want to wrap it up with the going back to the beginning and Karma? And this is his side human births, but it works and so of Attraction and end of the laws of the universe that somehow made it possible for you to be my mom. And I'm your daughter. But thank you so much for this interview of a. I've enjoyed this time that we've spent together and it was the time went very quickly. It was very natural and went very quickly and thank you for suggesting this for us as an activity to do you, I think we talk all the time and we all talked about like a what what would happen if someone had cameras following us around all day when we didn't have cameras, but we did get to get a slice of white are our existence is like on this little blue Rock. Yes. Yes.