Gretchen Addi and Marcia Weisbrot: Multi-generational friendships

00:05 So Today is Friday, September 9, 2022, and I'm here with Marcia and we're going to introduce ourselves and then share some stories. So my name is Gretchen Addi I've been a board member for probably five or six years now. I started with the village as a volunteer and for the past couple of years have been co chair of the board. My background is in design and I've been a consultant most of my life. And yeah, just very excited to share stories today with Marcia.

00:54 All right, thank you, Gretchen. I'm Marcia Weisbrot and I have been on the board for about two years. And my background is in visual arts, printmaking, book arts. I've done photography and I will have worked. I'm still working in healthcare and education. Education as an art teacher and in health care as an art therapist and now clinical counselor. And I loved all the work that I do and I am still working.

01:34 All right, so let's kick this off. Maybe a good place to start is we both have kind of creative visual backgrounds, which is a great connection for the two of us. And Marcia, I know that you also have a father who was an artist and I'm kind of curious about that.

02:01 Thank you. Yes, my father was an artist. He was into fine arts as a student in high school and when he graduated he became an apprentice in a design studio. In those days there weren't graphic design programs and he started at the very bottom and worked his way up and he did some really wonderful graphic design work in corporate identity and packaging and certain amount in advertising, publication advertising. I was pretty much aware as a child that he was an artist and it was a way for me to connect with him to be an artist. Also, pretty early on I was drawing and painting and I don't want to brag, but I got a lot of recognition for that when I was in school. And so of course that encouraged me to continue. My father really influenced me a lot. I would look at some of the designs he was working on. Occasionally he would be working at home after hours and things and he would explain this color is being used because it has a tension with that color. And if I do it lighter or darker, I'll have these kinds of results. I think way back when I was the only 7 year old who knew the difference between serif and sans serif fonts because he showed me that too. And of course I was very excited. And as the years went by, he would critique my work and didn't matter what I was working on. And he began to be I think the best critic or critiquer of the work I did. And that was a big loss for me when he passed away because nobody understood me and understood the work I did as well as he did. And he was really honest and straightforward. So I learned a lot from him. And his influence in one of the most important areas of my life is still there today. Yeah.

04:22 Yeah. It's interesting you say that in terms of being sort of your best critic, because I feel like when I was growing up and I was very interested in the arts, I was kind of on my own. I mean, my parents, fortunately, really supported me, you know, in going that direction. Didn't discourage me, but at the same time, it wasn't something necessarily that they could have that familiar familiarity with. And. Yeah, so you definitely had an advantage there in having someone who knew you well. And, you know, that sort of generational, you know, father to daughter kind of relationship is pretty special.

05:15 Yeah, I think it was a big advantage, and I didn't realize it as much early on as I did as I, you know, was growing. And then once I did, I realized, wow, this is really good. And I think my father really enjoyed that. And it sounds like your parents were very supportive, even though it wasn't their field. I think that support probably made a difference for you.

05:40 Yeah, definitely. I mean, I was particularly close with my father who, you know, mainly, you know, was encouraging about anything that I did. So growing up in the Midwest, I used to ride horses and was on the rodeo circuit for a while. And he was always super supportive and helpful in, with respect to that, but the creative side, you know, not much that he could offer. And even later in life, when I was doing consulting, it was hard sometimes to explain to him what I actually did for work. It, you know, well, what do you design? Well, just about anything. And yeah, it was always an interesting conversation with him, you know, in that respect. But he was definitely a rock for me in terms of helping me to sort of navigate life. And I think I would have been a different person had it not been for him in terms of his influence in that way. My mom and I had a different relationship. It was good as well, but she was definitely my rock.

07:15 Do you mind if I ask you about that? Rodeo and horseback riding? I'm really impressed that you did that. What was that like?

07:26 Well, growing up in the Midwest, there wasn't a whole lot to entertain you, so to speak, or as my father would say, keep you out of trouble. And so he was more than happy to support my horse habit if it kept me engaged and, you know. Yeah, just involved and so, yeah, I've always loved horses, grew up around them, you know, no fear in terms of any of that. And yeah, it was a way for me to sort of live beyond a very small town. I grew up in a town of 5,000 people, so, yeah, it was pretty small. So being able to ride and travel around was a way for me to get outside of that and experience other things. So in that respect, it was great. I did it through college and then once I got out of college, it had to stop. I needed to earn a living.

08:33 So, yeah, that always gets in there. Well, that sounds wonderful. It sounds also like it was so empowering, you know, for a young woman to do that kind of.

08:44 Yeah, I feel like it made me pretty fearless on a lot of levels, for sure. And particularly being a woman. I think it did. And, you know, it exposed me to, you know, growing up in a very small town that was in large part white, middle class or farmer and very agricultural. And there were things like 4H and, you know, stuff like that. But, yeah, it's different than where I live now here in San Francisco.

09:27 Yeah, definitely. It sounds different, but it also sounds like it was a good foundation, you know, that kind of propelled you forward as a kid.

09:36 Yeah, no, definitely. It was a good way to start and a very sort of safe and nurturing environment in that respect. Yeah. So, yeah, I would not change it. I think it would be very hard to go back to it after living so many years here in the Bay Area. But, yeah, definitely a good place to start. How about you? Where did you start?

10:09 Well, actually, I grew up in Chicago, so I'm a very urban person. And that's why I was so intrigued by, you know, your experience. Horseback riding. Wow, that sounds very cool and very. Just very different. Yeah, so I've always lived in a fairly large city, so, yeah. Oh, it just seemed. Just seemed like it's what I do. Yeah, I can't imagine otherwise.

10:42 So how did you get to San Francisco and then to the Village?

10:47 Oh, okay. San Francisco. Let's see. I moved here in 1988. I had been out here to visit several times for a number of years before that. And I wanted to finish school. I had a goal to move here. I just loved it. I wanted to get out of Chicago just because I did. I didn't see myself living there the rest of my life. And I wasn't sure at first where I wanted to move to. And then when I came to San Francisco, I was like, oh, yeah, I really like this place. I have friends here. I wanted to live on the west coast, so those were the reasons. They weren't any more deep than that. And out I came to San Francisco and I've never been sorry. And I do go back to Chicago. Well, not with the pandemic, but usually every couple years, something like that, because I still have some family and friends there. Yeah. So that's kind of how it happened. Yeah.

11:54 And then the connection to the village.

11:57 Oh, thank you. Connection to the Village. Okay. That started when one of the students that I teach, I teach an art class for older adults at City College. Right now I just have one class left. And one of the students there was talking about Evan Johnson and what great improv classes he did at our Parks and Rec. And I thought, oh, that sounds like fun. And then somebody told me he was going to be doing a class at the Village, and that was right at the time when the shelter in place started. So I wasn't really working very much at all. And I looked around, I said, oh, my God, this is going to be hard. I need some kind of connection on Zoom, because I knew it was all going to be on Zoom. I need to get involved in something. And I've heard a lot about him. Why don't I sign up for that? You know, join the Village and sign up for that improv class. Joining the Village would help me stay connected to people and what was going on. And taking the improv class would be like something I've never done before. And I heard, really, he came highly recommended, let's just say that. And it was great. I loved it. And the Village has been important to me. And so it was win, win. Yeah. And that's how it happened.

13:24 Yeah. My story with the Village is a little bit different. When I was doing design work, there was a period of time when I was working when my father moved in with us for the past four years of his life, or the last four years, I should say, of his life. And I learned so much from that experience of being a three generation household and got very interested in what I could do in design, in aging, or have some impact in that space. And so through that, I discovered about the villages and wanted to learn more and then realized that the San Francisco Village was right here in my own backyard. And so I decided to just volunteer, just to kind of experience it. And I remember calling up the person that was in charge of volunteers at that time. His name was Kee. And I said to him, look, he. I'M really interested in volunteering, but I don't really want to do just sort of random, you know, errands or, you know, kind of random stuff. I'd really like to work with one of the members or a couple of the members in a more established way, you know, whether I meet. Arranged to meet with them on a weekly basis to help out or something as a volunteer. And he said, sure, let me see what I can find for you. And he introduced me to a woman who she had just lost her husband and he had been an engineer and she was trying to go through all of his business documents and all of his engineering drawings and figuring out what was valuable and what was not. And she really wanted some help. And my first design career was in architecture and interior design. And so he thought I might be able to help her. So I went in and met her and she showed me everything that she had. I think her husband, towards the end of his life had been working from home more than anything as a consultant. And so we went through a lot of his books and papers and things and I helped her decide what to, you know, that might be interesting to save or hand off to someone and, you know, the rest maybe not worth hanging on to. But in the process we became really good friends. And it turned out we discovered that we were both from the same state, both from Nebraska, and knew some of the same places. And yeah, it was just very serendipitous. And so, you know, it just became a way for me to volunteer was to have a longer term relationship with someone that was more repetitive than just kind of random. And at some point, I think someone at the village asked if I might be interested in joining the board and so had a conversation and ended up being part of the board as a result of that. So met Kate, who's the ed, and yeah, it just kind of launched from there and I've been engaged ever since and still a volunteer. I'm working right now with someone in my own neighborhood who lives just a couple of blocks away from me. And she and I have become great friends as well. And it kind of goes beyond volunteering. We're just friends now and I help her out if she needs help. But also she's been a great source for me in terms of helping me to look to the future in her late 80s. And it kind of helps me understand, you know, how to think about, you know, my own future as I age. And so she's been sort of a role model in that respect, which has been great.

18:15 Yeah, I'M thinking. I know who you're talking about. And she is a very powerful person at her age and his. It's wonderful that you're friends with her. It is. And also the woman that you mentioned before that you also became friends with. Those are great connections that you've made. Yeah.

18:40 Yeah. I've just. I think I've always just sought out. I always work around a lot of young people because in design, it tends to skew much younger. And so quite often, I'm the oldest in the group. And that's great, too, because, you know, I learn a lot of new things, particularly around technology and new ways of thinking about working. But at the same time, I like having older friends, you know, to help me kind of think about how to navigate my own life as I get older.

19:22 Yeah, I think it's really important to have older friends and younger friends or colleagues as it may be, just to keep a perspective on the generational similarities and differences. And there's so much to learn from all of them. And it gives us a different. I think it just gives us a different way of looking at things than if we were just with people within a very close age range of ourselves. And I think that's one of the real strengths of the village, too, that I did not expect or know about when I joined. I've been very pleased and excited to see that. And the participation that I've had in some meetings and events with younger people in particular now, I would say also with people older than I am. I like what you said about how it gives you a way to look at aging as you think about your own aging. Your one friend is in her late 80s. That's a broad lifespan there to look at and to think about. Yeah, for sure.

20:51 One last question.

20:52 Go ahead.

20:54 No, go ahead.

20:56 One last question I was going to ask you about that was just what kind of design are you doing now? Just curious.

21:04 What am I doing right now? Let's see. Most of the design work right now is crossing over between health and aging and working on services more than anything, that can help people sort of learn and be more in control of their own health and aging. I've been working on a project around managing diabetes and using sort of the science behind habit change and the use of coaches, actual people to help, as opposed to just an app that, you know, might offer some of the same things, but it doesn't have a real person. It doesn't have accountability, and it doesn't have a really strong sort of grounding in science and habit Change, which is really important when you have a chronic condition. So I've been working on that and also working with a friend who's very deep into sort of the workplace and the changes that are going on there, particularly around remote work and hybrid work, and how all of that's going to shake out now for a lot of large companies. So trying to understand at a qualitative and quantitative level what's. What's the best direction for companies to go.

23:03 Sounds very much more hands on and humanistic than some other types of related, you know, work in the aging field.

23:15 Yeah, yeah. No, my, my focus has always been much more on the sort of qualitative, human centered designing with people as opposed to for them.

23:30 I think that makes a lot of sense.

23:32 Yeah. And there's a lot of need right now. I mean, I, I think the comment you made about the pandemic and realizing that everything was going to go virtual and how very quickly individuals as well as the village, had to transition to being virtual and trying to help people not get too isolated, not be too lonely, particularly older adults, many of which who are solo aging. It's important to keep them connected and engaged when their choices are very limited.

24:25 I think the village really jumped on that quickly from what I saw, and reached out to people in a way that it was very welcoming and very grounded at the same time. I think it's made a huge difference for a lot of people.

24:47 Yeah, I've been facilitating the coffee chats, which we started very early on. Since we started them, I've been doing it at least once a month. There's a lot of regular folks that show up for those, and it is really a lifeline for some of them, you know, even if they just join the coffee chat, but don't necessarily, you know, engage in conversation, but just sort of being in the virtual room with everyone seems to help. And. Yeah, so, you know, doing those chats with, you know, no particular agenda, just whatever people want to talk about and, you know, if they're challenged by something or feeling down or, you know, have some great news to share, you know, it's. It's just a place to be able to do that. And that's been really great.

25:52 It does sound really good. Yeah. Sounds like it's very important that people continue to come regularly and make an effort to be there, because it's important to them to be in that space virtually and connect with others. That's what it's all about, is connection.

26:18 Yeah. Some of the members have also started their own sort of There's a happy hour on Saturday evening that they've started just because it's like, you know, do we just have to do a coffee chat? What about, you know, Saturday evening when I really need some companionship? And so, you know, that one I think is going quite well. They have a lot of regulars for that one. And I have heard also that the play reading group is, you know, maxed out. They're not accepting any new members. And that one's quite strong as well. So, yeah, leveraging the virtual in ways that actually work around certain things quite well.

27:12 Yeah, that's great to hear. I wasn't aware that the play reading group was working that spectacularly. It's great to hear that. And I had noticed when the Saturday group had started and kept thinking I ought to drop in on that. It's a time when I have free time to do it. So I'm glad to hear that. Maybe, maybe I will just do that. Yeah.

27:46 How has it been for you? Because the kind of teaching you do is very, you know, it's the visual arts and yet you're virtual with people.

27:58 That's a great question. Thanks for asking it. To be honest, I taught four semesters online. The first two, it took me, I'd say the first two to really get a grip on what I was doing. You know, everyone's at home and have different supplies and different kinds of things going on around them. You know, the cat is sitting there and the kids are running around, grandkids, whatever. And then I sort of figured out more things that worked better, better online. And I also added art history to my curriculum and that worked really well. It's a lot of work to put that together, but it really paid off because people were very engaged in it. And, you know, zoom is a very good platform to, you know, show slides and talk about them. So that part was good. We just started back in the classroom last month and everybody, whether they were new students or returning, was just so excited to be there. I mean, just the sense of joy. We're like, oh, we're back and we're back here in real life, you know, so that has been pretty exciting and I hope we continue to do that because I sure missed it.

29:19 Yeah. Being a very visual person, the virtual world has real limits for me.

29:28 Yeah, there's certain things that work really well, but others, it makes it really hard if you're doing hands on work, you know, and this was, you know, lifelong learning for older adults. And some people in the beginning didn't know what to do with zoom. And, you know, everybody got just a little more, shall we say, zoom savvy as the weeks and months went by. But, you know, and there were a lot of students who liked it better because it was more convenient. They didn't have to go anywhere. They didn't have to look for parking and so on. But I would say the majority were really just wanting to get back and be around other people. And we have very strict Covid safety requirements, and that's been really good so far, so good. Yeah.

30:24 That's great. Is there anything that happens sort of during COVID that was particularly memorable in a good or bad way for you?

30:41 Let me think. I would say nothing horrible happened, so that's good. I think I've been very fortunate. I've been able to continue working. I do mental health with art therapy work, too, and that went online counseling. One to one works a lot better. I think certain types of groups. Probably the best thing for me was during the shelter in place, I got a lot of my own artwork done with no distractions, and there's a project I'm working on that, you know, I was sitting on the shelf, and I finished that, and I felt really good about, you know, that portion that I finished. And so that was probably one of the best things that happened. Yeah, good question.

31:28 Yeah. I know for myself, the inability to travel was, you know, made me really feel tied down. I'm. I mean, having grown up in a really small town out in the country, I have no trouble entertaining myself at home, you know, so being in the house, I could find, like you say, I can finish projects, I can, you know, find things to do. But the things that always inspire me, you know, whether just going out and walking around the city and seeing what other people are doing or traveling, all of that, you know, I mean, I walked around the city, but in places where people weren't at.

32:13 Yeah.

32:14 You know, going on urban hikes, so to speak, and all of that. But not being able to travel was probably the hardest thing for me. And, you know, also just seeing people and, you know, like, going to board meetings and being around people from the village and seeing people in person. Yeah, that. That was really tough.

32:42 Yeah. Yeah, I agree. Not being able to, you know, just reach out and be closer to someone, give them a hug, whatever that felt like. I felt the absence of that pretty strongly. Yeah. And I know a lot of people felt very restless because they couldn't travel. You know, especially if you're used to doing that a lot, it feels like somehow you Know that piece of your life is really missing. Yeah.

33:13 Yeah. Even just working relationships, I was working on several projects and not being able to see people in person and have that sort of spontaneous kind of creative process. It's just not the same online. Never will be.

33:33 I mean, it was better than nothing at the time, I think. I don't know what we would have done without it. If I think about what would have happened if there was no virtual platform to connect online like we did, and I think that would have been worse. But definitely it's been a big adjustment. I think so many people are looking now at the, you know, like you said, the remote, the hybrid, and trying to figure out how to bridge that, you know, how to make that happen.

34:07 Well, I think something you said earlier about with reference to the Village, I think one of the silver linings, I think, of going through the pandemic is the fact that the Village was able to sort of rotate very quickly to virtual and to help members who wanted to get up to speed to be able to connect. And now the ability to expand programming, because, as you say, for some people, leaving the house or getting around is a challenge. And if they can participate without having to do that, figure out the bus schedule, get to the location of the Village and all of those kinds of things, but actually still participate, I think, is a real silver lining of the pandemic, for sure. I'm hoping that it's something that will help, you know, to grow the membership, just because it is a program that offers both.

35:21 I agree. Yeah.

35:32 Since you've been a member of the Village, it's been pretty much all virtual then, because you joined around the time of the pandemic.

35:41 I did, yeah. It was all. It was all virtual at the time I joined. So it was, I think, March of 2020. No, March or April of 2020. Yeah. So that is different. Yeah. So I'm excited that there have been more groups and events that have been in person. Yeah.

36:09 That'S great. Yeah. I have really missed some of the programming that we used to do that was in person. And I know it's starting to come back, and I just have to figure out and adjust my schedule to sort of make some of those things happen, because most of what I'm still doing is more virtual with the coffee chats and our board meetings are still online. I miss being the board in person.

36:45 I'm sure it's an adjustment. It was an adjustment to go virtual, and it's an adjustment to, you know, come back to real life. It's a process. We are part of this process. Yeah, I think so. Yeah.

37:03 Well, I was having a conversation with my kids the other day about things in our lifetimes that have had a major impact, because for them, the pandemic is a huge sort of point in their lives. And my kids are both in their 30s. But, you know, I was relaying to them, you know, the things that I remember as a kid that, you know, had such a big impact and how, you know, how they influence and shape the way we think about things. And it was. It was an interesting conversation because I think typically kids know what their parents have lived through, but maybe have never had a really direct conversation about what it was like. And so it was fun to talk about the women's liberation movement, to talk about the war in Vietnam. Things that influenced were big things in my life in that when I was in my 20s and 30s versus what my kids have experienced with 9, 11, you know, trying to explain to them what the Cold War was. Yeah, it was. It was a really good conversation. It really made me think about, you know, how do we encourage more. More of those kinds of conversations? Because I think it's good to be reflective, but it's also good to hear about things firsthand from someone who's experienced them.

38:57 I think that makes a world of difference. It really does.

39:04 Do you find that those kinds of things influence your students?

39:11 Well, my students are all our age, and so we have a commonality of memory, of history. We don't really discuss those kinds of things in class. But occasionally. Occasionally stuff does come up. And I think, you know, people enjoy talking with peers lived through the same time in life as they have.

39:45 Yeah, it's just I always find those intergenerational conversations to be not so much about passing on wisdom, but just hearing, you know, sort of a firsthand perspective about them. Just like, you know, listening to my neighbor, who's older, you know, talk about things that I didn't experience. You know, like, what was it like to be in New york in the 50s?

40:19 I bet it was fun.

40:21 Yeah. So always interesting. Yeah. So much to talk about and sometimes so little time.

40:39 Yeah, Time is everywhere.

40:44 All right. Well, with that, I think we're going to close.

40:49 Great talking with you.

40:51 Yeah, it's been great talking with you, too, Marcia. Thank you so much.

40:56 Thank you.

40:57 And with that, we will sign off.