"He Knew He Was Going to Die, He Told Me."

Recorded November 28, 2018 Archived November 28, 2018 07:13 minutes
Id: APP579341


Me: My name is Dominique
Francis: My name is Francis
Me: Who is the person misusing drugs in your family?
Francis: My grandfather actually abused of alcohol when he was very young. He didn’t think it would take effect until later on.
Me: Was it sudden or there was a sign of this issue that occurred?
Francis: There was definitely a lot of signs
Me: Can you explain them?
Francis: Yea, um it was like, it was like uhh starting to spread throughout his body so like it was becoming a problem where his issues like his health issues was not good at all. Like there was a nurse coming after, uhh a certain time just to make sure he’s walking a lot, make sure he’s in a good state. Umm, just like to treat him from whatever was wrong. I never really seen it in any way like I just thought it was something they do as a check-up but unfortunately umm it really did started to like, yea it started to become pretty serious. He never really mentioned “oh you know help me, something’s wrong with me.” He’s not gonna say that. I don’t think any person really wanna say that if they’re in depression like, I feel like that’s what really brought him in there because he didn’t spend a lot of time with us. Uhh he spent a lot of time home. He was afraid and I never knew why and I guess it was because of that, you know? He had a lot of risks, umm and I feel like people should be more aware of that. You need to be more aware of why. Like you gotta spend more time with them, uhh when their so alone and they, like they just don’t speak up like, they probably hid it the whole time, their scared to speak up, or they just given up you know? And I feel like if I would’ve, like, realized those symptoms like If I would have realized like, that’s not ok like he’s pretending to be fine umm, I feel like things would’ve been better because we were so laid back and as many times as he’s fought this umm, this problem he had, we were so laid back, we were like “He’s gonna fight it again, he’ll be fine, he’ll be fine.” And then it happened, you know?
Me: Yea, did they ever lie about their addiction to any of the family members?
Francis: It wasn’t really like, it’s not really like we... What’s the word? It’s not like he knew like it was like an addiction, we think that it’s like “oh it runs in the family.” So it’s like perfectly normal. It wasn’t like a big deal so we never, we never seen it like it’s that like an addiction, I mean I knew, I knew it was for sure. He stopped though, umm once he got to a certain age so I thought “hey maybe it’s not as addicting as it used to be before” so it’s not like serious, you know?
Me: Yea, was it sudden or was there a sign of this issue that occurred?
Francis: There was definitely a lot of signs-
Me: Can you explain them?
Francis: Yea, umm it was like, it was like uhh starting to spread throughout his body so like it was becoming a problem where his issues like his health issues was not good at all.
Me: Ok, has this person ever tried to get help?
Francis: Not that I know of no, never really asked anyone for help, umm the last time he did was when it was the last minute when he really knew he wasn’t ok. So uhh remember my aunt explaining that oh he knew he was going to die, he told me. He grabbed me, he said, “take me, take me, I am going to die,” and in my head I’m like…. like that’s… the most…. Terrifying experience to just know you’re going to die afterwards because you did something you thought was ok, you know?
Me: Who has mostly been affected in this situation?
Francis: Umm, my sisters, my grandmother, well everyone in my family, but the one that really took a toll was my dad, because my dad was, he’s just so alike my grandfather like, their so alike its crazy. And umm... they had a lot- we use to live right next to them so my dad would always come visit, always go in the morning, always talk to them and eat with them, umm, my grandma and my grandfather of course, but he would spend a lot of time with his dad. And it was.. It was like they were twins and umm he’s going through the same thing he’s always been which I think that’s one of the things that I- that’s what made me realize and I’m like I could really be in- I could really be hooked on it if I wanted to drink.
Me: How has this changed your outlook on drugs and/or alcohol?
Francis: Umm very differently because I started seeing umm… a lot of people I know, friends, family umm go through the same stage and I realized and I’m like umm that could be me. And my kids or my grand children will see me in that horrible, horrible state like I- it just really took a part of me where I don’t wanna die and it- at a moment where life could be better.
Me: What did you take or rather learn from this situation?
Francis: I learned a lot from this like... just that it may seem like it’s... not that serious until it really happens, if that makes sense? Umm
Me: Mhm
Francis: I don’t really want anyone to go through that and... you know be there every night in the hospital trying to figure out “what’s wrong with him,” like “why is his body- like his body shutting down?” Like this happens so often and it’s just like, it’s like nobody really cares no one pays attention to it. But it’s like... it’s just something that I feel like should be …. More of like... an awareness.


  • Francis L
  • DominiqueBlake

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