Hortencia Armendariz and Elizabeth Rockenbach

[00:04] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: My name is Hortencia Armendariz Elizabeth doesn't know this. She's never asked me for my age, but I'm 58 years old. Today's date is Thursday, January 13, 2022. And we are recording from Calexico, California. And my partner's name is Elizabeth Rockenbach Hernandez. And she is an alumni who I have mentored throughout the years.

[00:37] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: Hello. My name is Elizabeth Rockenbach. I'm 18 years old. Today's date is January 13, 2002. And my location is Calexedo, California. And my partner's name is Hortencia Armendariz She has been my mentor, and I, my mother figure in some sense, that I love dearly. And she's have helped me with a lot of things.

[01:03] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: I have a daughter, so we'll go ahead and begin. This is really about how two humans connected, about the relationship that we have established, even really, before we officially met each other. And that was when you, Elizabeth, were a senior. It was your senior year, right, Elizabeth? I think it was your senior year. So, as you recall, Elizabeth. And this is really a good opportunity because you have always talked about, um, even. Even writing a story. And I met Elizabeth at Calexico High School, and it wasn't really. That's where I met her. She was in elementary school when I met her. But when I officially now say officially, you'll know the background of the story is at Calexico High school. So many years ago, when Elizabeth was a little girl, I would always see her playing with her brothers and worried about her because, you know, I worried about her because you could tell how her family was struggling, or at least I felt that I could tell that her family was struggling. Even if I saw a little girl with two little boys playing outside and seemed very happy, like there was no worry in their world. But I could still tell there was something. So I remember driving around to the front of her house, and she lived in back of a house, but in front of that house, getting the address, I checked our student information system to find out where the students went to school. So then I contacted the principal and the counselor, and I told them about my worry and to watch out for them. Then this was throughout the years that I made sure that her family was on the list of Christmas gifts that we would send over and that she was on the list of thanksgiving meals and Christmas meals that we would give. Then there was an incident where a little girl passed away due to a tragic accident. And I went to the funeral services, and who showed up to the funeral services was Elizabeth. And her family. And then I started to make a connection between the little girl's family and the little girl, Elizabeth, that I worried about. And I thought, okay, they must be related because those were the only two families at the funeral services, plus the firefighters and myself. But the little girl, and it's Elizabeth, I didn't know her name, and I still didn't know her name until. Until her senior year. I just knew her address. And I guess at that time, I didn't know her name because I gave it to the elementary school, but it didn't click. So then that little girl at the funeral services, she came to me and she held on to me. She just want. She hugged me. She sat next to me, and she didn't want to let go. So I was there, happy with a little girl, but sad because I was at a funeral services. So then I left and I said bye to Elizabeth, and she hugged me and I hugged her, and we went our separate ways. And like I tell you, throughout the years, I just make sure that the children at that address receive things. So then senior year, through our Carpe network, which is, you know, it's also founded. Well, it's a network that we are helping seniors to make sure that they are going to go to the university, that they're applying for financial aid. That's how I got involved. No, let me go back. She was trying to enroll her brother. She was trying to enroll her brother in the 9th grade. Our high school is two separate campuses. So the secretary, she's really good. She knew that something was happening that we had Elizabeth and her brother with no parents, so they're unaccompanied minors. So then she reached out to me and. And her and I would just remove all barriers so her brother can go to school and Elizabeth can go to school. That's the day that we classified them as unaccompanied minors. And so then I provided Elizabeth still how you see her right now, the curly hair. So I still didn't know she was still the little girl that I met when. That I knew of. So then we just provided her with. We removed all barriers. Her and her brother can go to school. We just provided them with, you know, their clothes and school supplies and personal hygiene items, double checked where she was allowed to stay, and we just started to talk. But my goal was to help her with FASA and get her into the university. So then, so we would zoom and we would talk. I think that's where we met. And there were several times that I went to the home where she was at to leave her things. So we were working on her college application when I downloaded her transcript, her school transcript. And when I downloaded her transcript, there was a picture of a student with straight hair, straight black hair. That was the little girl that I knew when she was an elementary. You know, I get emotion because she just had straight hair. So then we were zooming, and I told her. I told her, Elizabeth, I'm going to ask you some personal questions. You're okay. And I told her, did you live behind. And it was McDonald's. That's where I would see her. You would go through the drive through, and her house was right behind McDonald's. And I said, are you that? Did you live behind McDonald's? And she said, yes. How did you know? And I said, because when I would go through there, I would see you and your brothers out there, and I worried about you. And then I said, do you remember being at a funeral? And she says, yes, I was at the funeral. And I said, well, I'm that lady that you didn't let go of. She really couldn't remember that piece. I said, I'm the lady that you sat down next to. You hugged me. You didn't want to let go of me. I'm that lady. And she couldn't believe it. And then I told her about the gifts and the food, and she says, you're the person. So we. Or at least I cried. And I cried. And he said, you're that little girl that I worried about for so many years. So that's. I'll stop there. Let's see. Elizabeth, do you want to add anything to that story about how I finally met the little girl that I worried about for so many years?

[08:21] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: Well, like, from my perspective, like, I always thought, like, someone was, like, looking after us, but I just didn't know, like, who. And I thought it was, like, really, um, crazy to find out, like, once how we, like, cross our paths and everything, how, like, kind of like, destiny and fate. Like, I thought it was really cool. And I was very shocked. And, like, I felt. I was like, whoa, I can. I was just shocked. And, like, when I found out who it was and everything and how everything just connected and made sense.

[08:52] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: So, yeah, it was just beautiful because we. At least I just cried when I saw that picture on that transcript. And I said, that's the little girl. And so throughout the, you know, during, you know, I helped her with her fascia, and I was so excited. I knew she was a good student. And this is when hopefully we'll talk about being resilient. She was a good, good student. She had all her a through g. A through g means. She had all her classes, all her classes to get into any university that she wanted to. And then she had told me that she wasn't going to apply to any university. She was going to go to the local community college because she wasn't going to leave her brother. So at this time, there's only two of them in Calexico because her older brother had left to the university, but would come back and, and stay with them during the breaks. So at this time, I was worrying about two children, Elizabeth and her brother. And so I said, okay, well, I understand you, you don't want to leave Imperial Valley. You want to stay because you want to help your brother also graduate. And I remember at that time, I told her, apply to San Diego State University. So I remember giving her all the information, helped her with her fafsa. We got so excited when we got to that last page. How did you feel, Elizabeth, when we got to that last page of the university? Because at that time, you thought that you weren't going to be able to afford going to college or university. Tell me about that reaction when we finished with FASA and you saw the dollar signs.

[10:28] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: Well, once I saw the dollar sign, I was like, whoa, this is gonna help a lot. Like, I was like, I was just so, again, shocked and, like, I had no words, like, explain, even to this day, like, I can't, like, explain how, like, thankful I am and, like, the opportunity that I was able to get with, like, the fast one, everything. Yes.

[10:48] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: So then we're all excited, and then comes November application deadlines. And then I was still excited because I had already told Elizabeth, San Diego State. So after the deadlines, and, and I trusted her because, you know, she's very mature and she does what she's going to do. So I remember after the deadline, I said, hey, elizabeth, so you completed your, you completed your application to San Diego State. And she says, miss Armendariz I told you I wasn't going to leave. I'm not leaving my brother. I just wanted to faint. I felt my stomach go, just drop to the floor. And I said, no, Elizabeth, this is San Diego State, Imperial Valley campus. I said, I don't want you to go to the junior college because you don't have transportation, even if there is bus transportation. Right. I said, I want you to go to the, to the extended campus, Imperial Valley College, I mean, San Diego State Imperial Valley campus because you can walk over there. And so I said, this is not going to stay like this. I emailed the, and I've always told Elizabeth, can I use your story? Because your story is going to open doors. And she's always given me permission to use her story. I emailed the dean. Oh, boy. I emailed the dean, Mister Gregg Bowen said, I will never forget. And right away he responded, and Cc's misses Barbara Romero, right? I think that's her name. Elizabeth. And then I told her the story and I asked them, how can we appeal this? Right away they sent us the application. I helped Elizabeth appeal the late registration. So that took a little while. Elizabeth submitted all the paperwork. And then, Elizabeth, how did you feel when you got the answer? What answer did you get, first of all?

[12:47] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: Well, the letter like that you're able to go to SDSU, and then you got accepted my acceptance letter. Basically. I was like, whoa, again, in shock. I don't know, I was so excited. Like, I was feeling all kinds of emotions and like, ugh, just excited and thankful.

[13:07] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: And at that time, I told Elizabeth she didn't know. She didn't know. She knew that I had a son that was a senior. And then I kept on telling Elizabeth she didn't know the name or anything. Cause, you know, I held that confidential. And I said, Elizabeth, guess what? Here I am opening the doors and appealing and all these things. Elizabeth, watch you get into San Diego State and Miami. I'm not even helping my son get into San Diego State. Right? That's what me and Elizabeth talked about. So we were thrilled. They accepted the appeal. The appeal. So then they asked her to turn in her transcripts. She turned in her transcripts and like, she just said, she received a letter of acceptance. Everything was going perfect. She was at San Diego State. She, you know, they helped her. They paid for her studies, paid for her books. There was extra money and she was still living in the home. So she just finished her semester. She barely finished her semester. With what grades, Elizabeth?

[14:09] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: Straight A's?

[14:11] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: Yes, with straight A's. Straight A's. So let's stop there right now, Elizabeth, before we go on to what just happened, because at this time, Elizabeth was still living with the person that allowed them to sleep there. Okay? That's what they called. That was their, that's where their home was. They, she was allowed to sleep there. But Elizabeth, to me, and I did tell you one time, I wish that I had that magic pill, which is resiliency, that I could just give to every single student you have overcome since you were a little girl. And there's probably a lot of other things that I don't know. You know, you have overcome so much trauma, trauma, trauma, trauma. You probably have seen more in your life that I will ever see. And you have gone through so much in the few years. She's 18 years old. I remember going to your house, taking you flowers and balloons and I think a cake or something that was just so neat, just to be able to be there, just to share a hug with you on your 18th birthday. But 18 years of life, and most of those, I think, were full of just trauma and heartbreaks and crying, even if I still saw that happy child always playing outside. How did you get Elizabeth to where you're at right now, straight a student, when you have a backpack, I always tell that to our students when you have a backpack that you are carrying with you or you are carrying, because I think we removed a lot of those stones that you were carrying that trauma for so many years. How did you get to where you're at, where you're a San Diego State University student, straight A's, and we still haven't talked about just this, what just happened with us during December. But how did you become who you are, Elizabeth?

[16:27] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: Well, I wish I could say. I honestly don't know what, like, that power that I have in me. I'm just very, like, spiritual and, like, I don't know, like, I just. I just have it. And I don't know how to explain it, how I could share to people. But, um. Yeah, it's really like a blessing that I can be able to manage, like, even through all these hardships. And, like, I still manage to, like, be on my 2ft and, like, stand up strong and able to, like, um, encounter all these. I honestly, I couldn't tell you how I could do it, but I'm doing it and I'm here and I'm fighting strong, so.

[17:03] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: And, see, and that's the magic that I wish that I had. Whatever little magic wand that you have, Elizabeth, to be able to overcome so much and, you know, and having a little girl with, not her mom and her dad, who she adores, how did you do it? How did you do it? No matter what, you know, Elizabeth doesn't live with her mom or dad, and she hasn't seen them in quite some time because they don't even live, you know, nowhere close by, you know, how can a little girl survive without her mommy and her daddy? And how did you do that, Elizabeth?

[17:44] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: I honestly. Well, okay, so what I just think is, like, I'm just, like, I take some time to think, like, individually, like, what's going on through my life. Like, I think about my parents, I think about school, and then, like, I. I just. I divide it, and then I just think about it, and then, like, I. I just, like, let it out, and then I go. I stand back up. I just let it out and stand back up. I just keep cooking my. I do come time sometimes I do get down, but I don't let it take advantage. Like, I don't let it take over me. So I'll just keep standing back up. Like, every time. I'll always find myself, like, standing up strong, no matter what.

[18:19] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: So, Elizabeth, you said something so powerful. So do you just, like, let it go? Like, get out of you just, like, clean up and let it go?

[18:28] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: Yeah. I, like, feel it. Like, feel the pain, and then I just, like, I let it all out, and then I stand back up and I forget. I leave it in the past.

[18:37] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: Ooh, that is powerful, because that goes back to what we lived a little while ago. So then, you know, here it is. Elizabeth is doing well. She's at the university. Her older brother's at the university right now. The one that we're gonna save is her brother, who's a 10th grader, and she's being mom to her brother. So then on exactly what day was that? Because I have it here on my calendar. So I convinced her brother. So our students went out on vacation on December 17. On December 20 and 21st, we were gonna have a training for our high school students, and I convinced her brother to join, and I made a deal with him. You complete those two days, and it's all about social emotional learning. It's all about resiliency. It's all about leadership. And I wanted him to be there. So when I tried to convince him, I said, hey, do you need clothes? And he says, yeah. And I said, okay, guess what? You go to those two trainings with me. I'll be there on the second training. I'll pick you and your sister up, and I'll take you shopping for clothes. So Elizabeth was able to convince them. So then on the 20th, that first day, her brother shows up. Everything's okay. I gave give up a lot of our students a write back for those that didn't have transportation. And it ended maybe about one or two. I went back to my office, and I get a call that Elizabeth's house, where she's allowed to stay, is burning. So. Well, yeah, it's burning. And I said, what? You know, to myself, I get in my car. The main street is closed because the fire department closed it. I had to go through several streets. I parked my car, and I just walked towards where the house is. I saw her from afar. I saw her and her two brothers, because, remember, the older brother, he's on Christmas break, so he's there. They see me. They come running to me. And all we did was hug each other. And I said, no, no, this cannot be happening. And so. So then we were just there watching, you know, the smoke. The firefighters were there. And then Elizabeth. Then Elizabeth says, miss Armendariz you need to get. I need the ashes because remember that little girl that we talked about, the one that had died? She was living in that home where Elizabeth is now staying. And then just recently, about a year ago, the little girl's older brother passed away. And so that's another trauma that Elizabeth saw with her own eyes. She's the one that found that alumni of ours who I knew also when he was little. Elizabeth is the one that found him. So she went through that trauma in finding who she sees also as her brother. You see him as your brother, too, right, Elizabeth?

[21:56] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: Yes.

[21:57] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: So imagine an 18 year old also, now having to call whoever she called that she just saw while she couldn't wake up. Um, and I don't know if I can use his name, and I'll say, matthew. And, you know, God bless Matthew. And so she says, miss Armendariz can you get. I need to get the ashes that see how Elizabeth, who she is, she just thinking. Thinking still with the pain that she's seeing her house burn, she's thinking of getting the ashes. So I went to the. One of the firefighters, and I said, can you please. There's some ashes there. We need to get them out. And so he was really good, you know, still in the box, gave the ashes to Elizabeth. So we're out there, and as Elizabeth's holding on to the ashes, and then at the moment, the. Then in a little while, then the firefighter says that they were safe to go in to try to retrieve whatever they had. What does elizabeth do? She turns around and she gives me the ashes. I. And I just told her, Elizabeth, I didn't know how to react. I wanted to cry because I was holding on to Matthew. I wanted to laugh because I couldn't believe all of this was happening. And all I did was pray. So then they went in and they got all their stuff. Not all their stuff, whatever they could get. And I was outside calling agencies who could help. Where was she going to stay? She had finally been in a stable place where they allowed them to sleep. And so I called agencies. They gave us a voucher for two days. We took them. I honestly didn't even think about the location. I just wanted them to be able to sleep in a place. We got all their things. We left them over there. And then finally when I got home, I thought, I don't want them to stay there. It's not a safe place. It's not a hotel where I would want anybody to stay. So then I called Department of Social. No, I emailed department of Social Services. I told them the story, because I've always told Elizabeth, say your story. I told them the story. They already knew Elizabeth and her story. Now they knew that she was completely homeless and in a hotel. So that was Monday. On that Monday, I had told Elizabeth on Tuesday, I want all of you to go to the training that I was going to be at, because at least I knew that they were going to have breakfast and lunch, and I wanted her there for the phone calls that I was going to make. So Department of Social Services emailed me, say, yes, we're going to help. We'll help with the cache, the food stick, well, the cash aid, the calfresh, and some vouchers for hotel. And so I told them to call Elizabeth on Tuesday because I would have her there. I would have my phone because here we have Elizabeth with a phone, but no minutes. So her brother has minutes. So I wanted her there with me because I could pass her the phone to make all the arrangements and showed up really early. They had breakfast. We had lots of fun at the training. Nobody even knew what they were going through. And we were still having fun making arrangements. So Department of Social services calls. I pull Elizabeth out of the training, have her go to another room. She's calling them. And they provided her with that immediate wraparound services. And that was really good because I wanted to get them out of the hotel that evening before I called the hotel manager, provided Elizabeth story. And they were really good. I wanted them in a suite because I wanted them to have a kitchen. And so everything started to fall in place. And then I was at the training, and the new dean of San Diego State sends an email because he's a Rotarian. I'm part of the rotary, too. And he sends an email like, merry Christmas, happy holidays. I'm inviting you all to my house. And I thought, the dean, I'm going to contact him and give him Elizabeth's story. He's you know, Elizabeth is her, is his student. Right away, it was not even two minutes that I get a phone call from San Diego state main campus and offering to help out. So here I am. Gave her, gave her the story. So then that was Tuesday. Tuesday, Elizabeth and her brothers, they walked back to the hotel and I told them, Wednesday, I'm picking you up because we're going, I'm going to take you out of that hotel and take you to another hotel. But they didn't know the whole setup. But that Tuesday night, I was talking to Department of Social Services. I was talking to this representative from San Diego state of what we were going to do. Then I get a call. We thought that the hotel that they were at, that they were going to have until the afternoon to be able to check out. But no, I get a call about what time. And then what happened, Elizabeth?

[27:08] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: They kicked us out and were going to charge us like dollar 20 the hour. We stayed more there. So we had to, like, start taking all our, our stuff from the hotel and we were still waiting on or Densia to come pick us up. And like, everything, like the time was like not going. So we had to have all our stuff out. And then. And then. Yeah, go on.

[27:29] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: So by the time I got there, where was all your stuff, Elizabeth?

[27:33] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: Outside on like the street.

[27:36] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: Oh, yeah. And so I'm busy getting them breakfast. That's why I did. I was, when I got the call, I was busy getting them breakfast. So I was in the drive thru getting them breakfast, and I said, okay, well, I want them to eat. I grabbed breakfast for them. I get there and, oh, boy, I was upset to see three kids with all their stuff outside. That really upset me. I went to speak to the manager, but I said, I don't want them here. I don't want them here anyway, so why am I going to make a big deal, right? So we packed all their stuff, but I already knew everything that I had gone through that night before, talking to people and what we were going to do for them. So we packed all our stuff. We went to my office, which is the family resource center. We went to my office. We went into the conference room. We had all the stuff packed in the car. And so we just went to the conference room and we started to have breakfast. And then I told them that I had spoken to someone from San Diego state and she had really good news. So I called the person, we were having breakfast, put her on speaker. And then what did she tell you, Elizabeth? I'll let you say that part. And her two brothers were there having breakfast. What did she tell you?

[29:00] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: She was like, we found an apartment for you to stay, and we'll be, like, paying the. For four or five years until you're in, like, the SDSU. So they'll be paying my rent as long as I'm attending school in my apartment, and they'll pay for my furniture and, like, everything.

[29:18] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: Yes. But by that time, Elizabeth, I remember texting every single person that I knew that they were property owners. And the community is just so awesome. Right away, they were responding. No, I don't. But I'll watch out. One of the persons called me, and she says, you know what, Hortencia Someone is. One of my tenants is moving out on the 31st. But I don't like anybody to move in because it takes me a month to get the place ready, and I won't even be here. I'll be in Seattle. And I said, no. I said, just give me the apartment of the 31st. You know, these kids need a roof. I told her their story, and she says, okay, but I won't be here. I'm out of town. Are you okay picking up the keys from the tenant? And I said, definitely. So I. So definitely. So I picked up the keys from the tenant on the 31st. But wait, let's go back to that moment at that conference room that was so emotional. I knew that the night before. So what we were going to do is that San Diego State was also going to pay for the difference what Department of Social Services had given Elizabeth to move her into a really nice hotel and in a suite with a kitchenette. And so then the lady that's telling me in the night, she's telling me what she's going to do for them. And I was just. I couldn't believe it. So then that was just so powerful. When they told Elizabeth, see how everything in this world pays off? She's been so resilient. San Diego State is going to continue. So I found her the apartment. San Diego State is paying for her rent and is going to furnish her whole house except for decorations, and she'll have to pay the utilities. And so she's telling on all of this. Her brothers are crying. She's crying, I'm crying. We're hugging each other, even with our mask on, where we're hugging each other. So we hanged up and everything. And then I turned around and I told her, brother, you probably don't know the story about the little kids that I worried about. He didn't know it. This is her older brother. And she said, you're the lady that gave us the presents for Christmas. I always thought it was my parent, you're the one that always gave us the food. And I said, I always took care of you without really never knowing you. And the piece that really just broke my heart. And we all started to cry. I didn't think it was going to be something so powerful where I said, and guess what? I have a Christmas tree for you. And I have ornaments. Oh, they just broke down because they said that all their life they've had a little Christmas tree, and I didn't think that was big. So there, we finished eating, we cried, we packed, took them to the hotel room, took everything down, and I told them, I'll be back. I'm gonna take, I'm gonna go buy everything that you need for your kitchenette, the pots, the pans and everything else. So I'll be back. By the time I went back. What, how was your room, Elizabeth?

[32:31] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: We had decorated the tree and, like, put, like, decorations all over the hotel room to make it more homey. And we were all excited to decorate her tree together because every Christmas, we would never, like, have a tree. So this is, like, our first time actually, like, having a tree in, like, years. Like, last time I can remember us having a tree was probably, like, when I was six years old. Yeah.

[32:55] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: So, Elizabeth, how was that? Because I wasn't part of that. How was that with you and your brothers decorating your tree?

[33:03] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: We, we were trying not to get emotional because we always like to light in the mood and, like, forget, like, whatever. Like, also we just, like, put in the back, like, we always, like, try to lighten the mood and be happy. So we were just all happy and excited and getting along, like, putting every ornaments on the tree and everything.

[33:23] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: Um, so, Elizabeth, I'm going to ask you something. So how are you feeling now since this was not so long ago.

[33:34] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: As.

[33:35] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: In, like, the whole situation, everything, you know, just. It just seems like there was such a long time ago that all of this happened. All of this has happened.

[33:45] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: There was a long period. Like, I was, like, feeling very, very overwhelmed and to the point where I, like, I stopped feeling emotions. Like, like, I couldn't feel anything. Like, I was like, what is going on? Like, usually we're just struggling, and this, like, was such a blessing, so I wasn't used to being, like, like, given, like, all this, like, opportunities in such a fast time. Like, it always takes years and, like, we always get, like, we're always struggling. So when this, like, happened in a matter of, like, two days. I just. I, like, couldn't feel anything. Like, I was so, like, overwhelmed with emotions and everything, and I'm, like, starting to recover. I'm feeling again, so, like, I'm very happy. I'm starting to take in everything and, yeah, I was.

[34:31] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: What did you tell me? Because I see this fire as a blessing, and if it wasn't due to this fire, what was going to happen with you?

[34:40] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: We were going to just stay in the same place that we were. I was trying to get better because my emotional state in that house alone wasn't really good. And I was, like, every day I was trying to get better and try to do more things, but it was just so bad in that place that I was staying. But since this blessing did happen, like, I just thought it was like, whoa. Like, whoa. Like, my. They. I don't know. I don't know what to say.

[35:11] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: But you told me that you weren't gonna continue San Diego state.

[35:14] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: Oh, right, okay. So, yeah, when I was saying, like, how my emotional state was really bad staying at that place, I was even considering dropping out of school to focus on myself because it was really taking, like, a toll. Like, really bad, like, cuz, like, I know, like, I pushed things in the back and, like, but I couldn't, like, do that. I wasn't able to manage, like, picking myself up in, like, a period time, and I was considering just to drop out of college.

[35:42] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: So just fast forward a little bit. Picked you up from the hotel. She spent the holidays there. Um, it's the 31st. I pick you up for your things. I give you the key to your apartment. Tell me that feeling right there. I hand you the keys.

[35:59] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: I just felt everything. It just came. My feelings were, like, now it did hit me because I was, like, very numb at the time before the keys. Then once I got the keys, I was like, okay, this is real. This is really happening. Like, this is finally, like, coming true. Like, all the things that we wanted. Like, it's finally happening at this moment. And, like, I felt everything. Like, I was just like, wow, this is going to change and it's going to be good.

[36:23] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: Walk us through that moment. You opened the door of the apartment.

[36:28] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: I walked into the door, and, like, immediately, I just wanted to bawl out in tears, but I don't cry in front of people. So, like, I holded it in, but I was just like, wow. Like, like, wow. Like, if I. If you just bought a new car, like, you're just, like, so excited with, like, all that, and, yeah, we're just very excited and, like, grateful. I don't know.

[36:52] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: How many rooms does that apartment have?

[36:55] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: Three. So I finally get my own room.

[36:58] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: You have never had a room to yourself or your brothers, right?

[37:01] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: Never. This was my first.

[37:05] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: This is. And how's your even. Just even a few days ago, because we're barely on the 13th, so. You've been there for 13 days. How is your whole spirit, your whole emotional well being? How are you?

[37:21] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: I'm doing better. I just can't wait to, like, start school for. I could just do better in school also. Like, I know I was doing good straight a's, but I want to do more. Like, I want to get, like, do better and, like, learn stuff and all that. I feel like once we get all our furniture and everything, like, I just feel like I'm gonna be a better person. Like, mentally. I'm gonna be more happy, more, like, energized and, like, I don't know, more. More up, like an, um. And I'm. I don't know, be an adult. I'm gonna be taking care. Have more energy to take care of my brother in his schooling and all that. Like, I feel very. I feel like it's gonna be a good year.

[37:59] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: So that's the next question I wanted to ask you, is, what message do you have for your brother? Because now that's. Who still worry about you teaching you all the ins and outs of being a renter and, you know, the utilities and you got your phone already with minutes and all of that. You know, we struggle a little bit with all of that, but all of that's in place, but right now, we still have to worry about you, but we also have your brother, who's a sophomore. What message do you have for him? What message do you want have for him?

[38:35] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: I want to let him know that, like, how even with all this struggling, like, I still, like, was able to manage to pick myself up, and I just want him to, like, see the same way to, like, oh, my sister. My older sister is doing all this, and, like, I'm, like, just, like, not doing the same. Like, I want him to, like, see this as, like, kind of, like, a light for him to follow. Like, you know, like, he sees me, like, over here, like, succeeding and all, and, like, I want him to see that and, like, get motivated to do the same, for he could follow my footsteps that I'm, like, getting going up, taking step by step, because this doesn't happen overnight. Like, everything I've worked through, it takes steps. And everything happens with time.

[39:16] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: And, wow, you are a light that is powerful. And we need to make sure that your brother sees the light in this world and just about the human connections, about how important they are. And, you know, you've always had a light because you've shined all these years in my heart, and your brothers have, too. But it's just so nice to see you now in front of me and that I know you and I have had the honor and the privilege to have this little girl in my life and to have your brothers in my life. But we need to make sure that we light your brother so he has a light, too. Yes. And that is powerful. Not everybody in this world can be where you're at right now with everything that has happened. And I don't know if you have, because I always ask her, have you had an opportunity to talk to your parents and let them know how their little girl is doing?

[40:24] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: No, I haven't talked to them in over, like, four months. I haven't spoken with them, but I do know I've come, I come in contact with my dad Sta, that's, like, near them. So I do know how they're doing, but they don't know how we're doing. And what I'm studying. I'm studying to be a psychologist or a registrated nurse. And those are my goals, basically, for the future, to help people and, like, try to pass on the light that I have to other people for. They could be resilient also, because I know everyone's going through something.

[40:57] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: Elizabeth, where do you see yourself right after San Diego State? I know that you said that you want to study psychology or a nurse to be able to continue to patch, pass that torch, pass your life. Where do you see yourself? And I will say four years. You should be finished by then.

[41:15] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: I see me being a registered nurse first, then being a psychologist, because psychology does take longer. So that's why I want to do kind of both at the same time where I could, like, be a registered nurse and then I'd be working while I get out of San Diego State and still, like, finishing my, I want to get a master's in psychology. So that's what I want to be doing.

[41:37] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: You are awesome, Elizabeth. And one powerful thing that you have with you is that you do your, you do share your story, because every time you share your story, you're relieving some of that story, just like what we did at that hotel room. Remember? All your stuff was outside, and I told all three come on. I said, let's feel the pain. I hate what they just did to you. Let's feel the pain, because this will be the last time that someone ever throws you out, kicks you out of anywhere. But let's feel it, because it's the last time that's going to happen. We, the three, all four of us walked into the room. I told them, grab all those emotion. Grab all those bad things that have happened to you throughout your life, what you have been doing, Elizabeth, which I didn't know, we grabbed it in the ball and each one walked out of the room and threw them out. And we were cherry. Yeah. We're getting rid of all this past and, you know, and they still didn't know what their future was going to be. So. Elizabeth, I am so, so proud of you. And thank you for allowing me to walk that story with you.

[42:50] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: You're welcome.

[42:51] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: I know I'm going to cry.

[42:53] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: Thank you for helping me and everything and being my mother figure in my eyes.

[43:00] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: No. And you know what? And thank you for you allowing me. For you being my daughter that I never had. Because remember, I don't have a daughter. And for you allowing me to be in your world.

[43:14] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: Oh, you're gonna make me cry now.

[43:16] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: I know. And you know what? And I do adore you. And I told you, I will always be here for you.

[43:25] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: Yes.

[43:27] HORTENCIA ARMENDARIZ: Yeah. Let's smile now. I do. I do. That connection. Just being able to help somebody, but being able to connect someone. I am so proud of you, my little girl, that I never knew.

[43:43] ELIZABETH ROCKENBACH: You're gonna make me cry. I don't cry. Okay. One last thing I would like to say to the listeners or whoever's viewing or listening to this is to. I want to encourage you all to share your story because it can get open doors and opportunities and you would never know what your story can help you with because it has helped me multiple ways, obviously, as you heard in this recording, it has helped me open opportunities and more chances and experience hope and. Yeah, I don't know. Okay, cool.