"I lost the male figure in my life because of it and I feel like I lost a lot of protection"

Description

Here we speak with a woman who has lost someone to drug abuse.
Hi how are you today? I’m fine, how are you? I’m good. My name is Jy’Asia and I am aware that you have lost someone an addiction and we’re gonna be talking about that today. Yea. Are you comfortable with that? Yes. If at any point in time you feel like you need to stop or take a break or anything you are more than welcome to. Okay. Alright so, who was it in relation to you that you have lost to drugs? My biological father and the man that raised me as my father. So two people? 2 men. Was it sudden or was there signs of the issue? There was signs of the issue. Like what? Overdosed a couple times, got missing, went missing, found them. How has this changed your outlook on drugs? Well I never wanted to be or have anything to do with drugs because of it. I lost the male figure in my life because of it and I felt like I lost a lot of protection, I feel like my life would have been different if my dad was here. Okay how has this affected your family? My individual family with my children, it made me not depend on a man as much. It made me be stronger even though there was a male figure in my children's life. I kind of didn’t give them authority because of it. I understand. Was there a change in personality after the drug use started? Yes he used to be angry a lot. Has your loved one tried to get help in the past before it happened? I think my biological father did step dad I don’t think so because he didn’t think he had. problem he was a functional drug addict. Did your loved one realize that there was a problem in his or her actions? I don’t think they were totally aware because at the time we were too scared to tell them that they were acting out so they didn’t really know they were being that way because we were too scared to tell them because they’d become violent. Is drug use common and your family? Absolutely, multiple people, all of my siblings and both of my parents. Has there been previous overdoses or scares? Yes my mother had overdosed a couple times, all of my biological father's siblings overdosed and all of them are dead out of 5 of them except for his sister but she keeps having overdoses. All due to drug use? Yes, all overdoses. What kind of actions do you think can be taken in order to prevent this from happening to others? I just think instead of trying to always hide it and not let it be known or not talk about it I think we should talk about it more and let the person know that we know it exist and that were there and that they’re not alone and not judge them but you don’t judge them for you love them regardless but they should get help and worry about everyone else not just themselves because it doesn’t just affect them in their bodies but it affects us in our bodies and our minds in the way that we perceive other things because of them doing it. What do you believe can be taught to children in order to inform them not to do drugs? well like I said I don’t think things should be hidden I think children should know why the parent or significant others are acting this way and this is the reason you shouldn’t do it and I think they should know everyone should not be kept in the dark because anything can happen like an overdose or anything they need to know. Is there anything that you would want to tell people who are in a similar situation as yourself or your loved one? . Yes just don’t hold it in make sure you talk to someone if it’s not yourself that’s on drugs or somebody else that’s on drugs make sure you talk to someone because if you don’t talk about it it’s just as bad as doing it yourself if you’re not a drug addict because it eats you up and you just have to let it out if you don’t it will affect you and the people around you because you’ll be snapping on your kids parents and being kind of judgemental but not meaning to be because you just don’t know what else to do. What were the first warning signs you noticed that made you think your loved one may have an issue? Bills not getting paid calling out of work things going missing in the house thinking other people were stealing it stuff like that just a little things not a lot but little things and then appearance the way they started to look the way they started to act their attitude problems. How old were you when you found out about it? When I found out about the first drug problem I was 6. So you were well aware? Yes. I’m 46 so 40 years of known drug use. Wow that's crazy. Have people had a common reaction to your loss or has there been a multitude of reactions? There've been a multitude of reactions because I have a lot of friends and most of my friends that I grew up with I can say a handful we all have the same thing in common because all of our parents hung together so they all do the same thing, all of her siblings do the same thing. It was kind of like a trickled down Into all of our families so it affected all of us. Some of us were just stronger than the others. Some of us can’t beat the problem so they just joined the problem because sometimes it’s easier but not for me. Who has been the most affected by this tragedy? My children. I wouldn’t say me because it made me stronger and my mom.. My mother was really lost after my step dad. She just didn’t care for a while but by the grace of God she’s good now it’s just a lot of support and love she’s always been my life I never judged her and my children ever judged her. So she was involved in it too? She was involved in it too but It was her significant other but after that she was lost for a lot of years at least 20 it took her to bounce back. Well that was the last question, thanks for talking with me today. You’re welcome!

Participants

• Jy’Asia Bivins
  

Interview By

• Jy’Asia Bivins