Interviewing my mom's parents

00:00 Oh, wait. Why did. Please do not. All right. Hi. My name is Luke McKinley, and today I'm doing a story crop interview with my grandparents, and their names are.

00:13 My name is Margie Breach. I'm 69 years old, and today's date is April 20, 2023. Here with my grandson, Luke McKinley, at my home in York, Pennsylvania. This is my husband.

00:29 My name is John Breach. I'm 68 years old. It's April 20, 2023. I'm here with my grandson in New York, Pennsylvania. All right, so my first question to you guys is, what was the hardest thing about raising children?

00:50 Well, I think I was the stay at home parent, so I probably had my most of the child raising to do. And the hardest thing about raising children, I think, or one of the hardest things was being fair. I don't think I always could for three years between each of the children, so I couldn't always be equal with things that I gave them or time spent. But I always tried to be fair, and I always tried to keep that in mind, John.

01:21 I always tried to make sure that I understood what their views were so that I could also understand how to resolve their issues. All right, so how would you like, sum up for the first question, what you said?

01:39 How would I sum up the hardest thing about raising children? I don't know. Love them. Love them and be fair.

01:48 Yeah, I think that's appropriate. Just to love them and make sure you have time and energy to answer the questions that they ask. Yeah. Okay. So my second question is, tell me a time when you were struggling with parenting and how did you solve it?

02:11 Struggle with parenting? I think sometimes the teenage years were challenging for each of the kids, and I think that was sometimes difficult. I had to chase them down from time to time when they thought they could do things that I didn't want them to be doing. And I also found it difficult when I knew that they had friends that were from good homes and their parents had different rules and regulations. So sometimes it was hard to say, no, you can't go here, or, no, you can't go there, or do this, when their friends were allowed to do it, and they'd get upset with me and think we were horrible. But the bottom line, I knew that other kids, their homes just had different rules and regulations.

02:57 So I think the toughest part was making sure that they felt comfortable. And I think raising three children, the first child, I think you learn a lot of lessons that you can obviously take on to raise the other two. We had three. So I think, all in all, I think that worked out better as parents, the more information and the more just that we could parent better. Yeah. So how would you like, sum up about question two?

03:39 Summing up question two, the struggle with parenting. I would say probably. I love the early childhood years. I think they were so rewarding. Watching your kids grow and mature and learn new things was very rewarding. And the most difficult time, definitely was the teenage years for all, because as a mother of three, they each presented different challenges. And I was. I was on them. I was watching with the eagle eye. So it was whether there was alcohol at parties or going out with friends, getting in strangers cars, there were always things to watch, always things that they challenged me on, but that definitely the teenage years were the hardest.

04:21 Okay. All right, so for the third question. Well, go ahead. Go ahead. I think from my perspective, I think just trying to make sure you treated your kids fairly, no matter what the ages were there. Yeah.

04:46 Yep.

04:46 Okay. Sorry about that. All right, so for the third question, how do you keep. How do you keep from feeling isolated if you were a stay at home parent?

04:59 I was the stay at home parent, but I also, as the children got older, I did work part time, and I don't think I ever felt isolated. I was always busy, and I think because the kids were always involved in sports or artistic endeavors, sometimes, as they get older, part time jobs that we interacted with a lot of their friends and family. So I don't think I felt isolated at all. I didn't struggle with that at all.

05:30 I was obviously the person out working in the world. But when I was stay at home with all my children, I just loved to be with them, and I really enjoyed all those years. Okay, so how would you sum it up, what you said about question three?

05:53 I don't think either one of us struggled that much with feeling isolated. We were always busy with the kids at home or with their extra sporting activities or outside activities. I don't think we struggled with isolation.

06:07 No, we didn't. Okay. All right, for the fourth question, uh, what was the hope that you wish for kids to be when they grew up?

06:20 Happy. I can sum it up. I just wanted them to be happy. I think in the. I didn't have a specific occupation that I wanted any of them to be in. I wanted them to feel successful and confident more than anything. I think maybe secretly. I hope that they each found partners that they would love and have a. A nice family life with. But as far as job wise or occupation like that, no, I just wanted them to be happy individuals.

06:50 I just, I just wanted them to be good people and have good values. That's what I would hope for all, any of my kids. And fortunately, they all ended up being very good people. Okay, for question five, if this were to be our last conversation, is there any advice you would give to me when I'm a parent?

07:13 Well, Luke, I would tell you you're special, and I would tell you to treat each and every one of your kids special, too, because do not have favorites. I hate it when I hear people say they have favorites. Each child is so different and brings so many different things to your life. And we joked about how one or two of our kids would drag us through life, things that we didn't have interest in. They did. And so we learned a lot from each of the children's differences because they had different expectations, different interests, from art to sport and all the way around just love them because it does pass. Look at me. I'm interviewing my grandson already.

07:56 So in my case, I would have patience. I think you need to have patience, and you have to. I used to actually go to your mom's bedroom and I would sit beside her on the bed and we would talk out all kinds of issues. And that's what she needed, was patience. And I tried to bring patients. I would think that you would want to bring patience to whatever you do and just try to work out the details so they didn't escalate into something else. Yeah, that's definitely true. So for the 6th question, so what are some, most of the important lesson you've learned from parenting?

08:39 Well, some of the most important lessons, I think your grandfather just said one is patience is important when you're dealing with, you know, your children because they're all so different and each one has a totally different personality. What works with one children or with one child doesn't work for another child. And sometimes you have to slow down or back up and do things differently, even from their learning abilities in school to the way they understand different things that are going on in the world. It's just a lot of patience, and you got to kind of go with the flow and make it work for each individual child.

09:21 Yeah, I think patience, don't be overbearing, you know, just because your child has a different opinion, leave some room so that you can understand what the child is saying to you and be open to their ideas.

09:35 I think another important lesson is sometimes as a parent, you become frustrated because you're not on the same wavelength as your kid. They're thinking totally different, whether it's about parties that they know they're going to be good and they think they could be under control, and you're not too sure you want them at those parties, or their interests are way different than what you're thinking they should be into. And it makes you feel awkward, and it makes you sometimes feel insecure. And I think you just got to, like, I don't know if I should say suck it up or not, but basically you just kind of got to go with the flow. And it's like, try to understand their point of view. They are totally different person than you, and their interests are going to be totally different.

10:22 Yes, definitely. Question. Did you hear my question or no.

10:39 It froze up for a moment, but I heard. I knew you were starting, but go ahead and, um.

10:44 So my final question is, do you have any regrets about being a parent?

10:50 I have no regrets that I can think of. I loved. I loved being a mother. I love being a parent. I still love being a parent to my, all my children who are well grown. And if anything, I think I could have tried to give them confidence, is what I would have given them at an earlier age. I think confidence in themselves is so important, and I wish I could have gotten that through earlier, but I feel very lucky or blessed that at this age, all of them are grown, mature individuals, and they all seem to have the confidence that always hoped that they would. So I'm really happy that it all worked out. I don't know if it was because of me or not because of me, but it all worked out. So I'm very happy about that.

11:37 I just feel that I would like to spend more time with my children and grandchildren when they were growing up and going to the future because we only have a little bit of time, and I want to make sure that they knew who I am and I know who they are. Yeah. All right, so those were the seven questions interview from. I hope you enjoyed listening to them and me. So I guess it's goodbye.

12:12 See ya. Hi.