Jesse DeLeon and Linda DeLeon

Recorded February 23, 2020 Archived February 23, 2020 33:21 minutes
0:00 / 0:00
Id: mby019689

Description

Married for 52 years, spouses Jesse DeLeon (73) and Linda DeLeon (72) remember meeting each other in elementary school, reminisce on their parents who have all passed away, and talk about being parents and grandparents together.

Subject Log / Time Code

LD remembers meeting JD when she was in 3rd grade.
JD and LD talk about getting engaged after high school and the jobs they both started at that time.
JD and LD discuss the challenges of marriage and the importance of marrying one's friend.
JD talks about how he feels having the family all together at Christmas.
JD reflects on how technology has evolved and remembers the first time he ever used an iPad to watch television.
JD recalls spending time with LD's mother before she died.
JD reflects on his upbringing as a child in a family of 11 other siblings. He remembers how nurturing his father was and how his father always listened to him.
JD remembers struggling in school when he was not yet bilingual in English and Spanish.
JD and LD talk about the legacy they want to leave behind.

Participants

  • Jesse DeLeon
  • Linda DeLeon

Recording Locations

CMAC

Keywords


Transcript

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00:04 Hi, this is Linda DeLeon. My age is 72 of today's date is Sunday, February 23rd. 2020 location is Fresno, California. My interviewer is my husband Jesse Deleon.

00:27 Okay, my name is Jesse DeLeon Mages. 73. Today's date is Sunday, February 23rd. 2020 location is Fresno, California, and I'm interviewing my wife Linda.

00:48 Okay. So here we are to talk to each other. First of all, he would be helpful if he told you who I I come from a family of 12. I am the sixth child and

01:07 I met my wife probably when I was my eight years old and she was correct me but 6 I think I was in the fourth grade and third grade.

01:20 Okay. Yes. I saw you in the third grade. I saw you in the third grade and sunny. Your brother was in my class and you just happen to knock on the door because something was wrong with Sonny so you came in and I remember turning around looking at you standing at the door and I said, oh my god, I think I'm in love at that age and I saw your big.

01:46 Brown eyes, but now they're kind of wimpy you in I said, I would marry that guy so it was kind of up and down. So we've known each other that long but again where we've been married 50 years, so we've been through a lot and we've been through that we have to talk to children. And yeah, we have five grandchildren and having gone through

02:17 That for me is a 50s and the 60s and the way things were just evolving and politically and everything. You know, what everything was just going so fast, but with your Heaven each other as companion since then made it a lot easier and I think you know to get through a lot of these things, you know, we went together through grammar kind of boyfriend and girlfriend to grammar school and then in junior high we kind of became boyfriend and girlfriend going steady back then it was going steady. And then just before I went into the army I got engaged.

03:05 They was on my 18th birthday 18th birthday and

03:12 Anyway

03:14 Anything else you want to say on that. Cuz the little forward you we got engaged we had our prom you took off.

03:24 I guess the day after we went to our to our last senior prom my senior prom you already out of high school, and that's when you took off to four towards or basic training. You were gone during that time.

03:39 And getting back I started working at

03:44 Fresno County Hospital as an orderly and

03:50 Were you working at the time to tell me I was working at the

03:55 Active roster pet foods frozen foods at the time and I started working in surgery and eventually I became a surgical technician and got my national certification.

04:18 And long story short, I work for them for 37 years. And then when I retired that I still went to close community and work for another 10 years and that's my work history there. But in the way we had

04:36 Two children. Like I said, I'm going a girl my son Jesse and my oldest and I remember the day he was born and it was hell. Yeah, we all have those little aha moment. When you first meet your child, you know, I think it works the same way for a male. Is it just for a female when you first see your child and you know that your life is going to be different from here on out, you know, very different very different. Now, if you no longer just you and I are or being single and stuff like that. So now, you know, you got responsibilities and tears later have my daughter.

05:15 And the same feeling it's an aha moment in this our kind of wake up to reality that you know your

05:23 Got responsibilities and going forward, you know, but we are.

05:29 We work so hard. I I was in the in the National Guard for 15 years and during those fifteen years. I was unfortunate unfortunate to make to riots the LA riots in the Berkeley riots. So those times I had to leave and be gone like a three weeks at a time something like that added but she held the fort down two kids and the two kids down. So but for the most part it's as long as we've had each other. I think it's been it's been okay. It's a good journey. The difficult to struggle at times, but knowing you were there and things got better, you know.

06:18 We've been a rock for both of us because you had your your mom and dad pass away before I lost mine. And now we're orphans. We're orphans that we have our kids are a blessing for and there's two boys and three girls, but the youngest one is 21 + 28

06:54 And they're starting to find their way. They're not married. None of them are married and they're about to start to find their way and get in their careers going and stuff for which we're very proud of you and very proud of their if they're they're going

07:11 No way. They're going to problems for those guys kind of found their way in.

07:19 They're on their way.

07:21 And you are such a talker that sexist. I usually just sit here and I listen to you all the time and I'll let you talk.

07:32 Here's your chance. Here's my chance to talk. Oh my gosh. No, I'm very blessed that. I met you that you've been here for me and

07:44 For the kids

07:48 You are Heaven Sent person. You're very caring. You work very hard at your job. I appreciate that you were.

07:58 A good

08:00 Employee for St. Agnes for all that time that you work for their you met a lot of people. I think you still have your friends, which is very good.

08:13 Hair how about

08:17 Talk a little bit about what you want your grandkids to take away from all this from

08:25 Our relationship together. What do you want for them? What are you?

08:30 Think they are.

08:32 Some of the takeaways for them would be married is not easy marriage is a two-way street. It has to be if you wanted to wear it to work. I mean you have your your arguments been then you make up never go to bed. Angry. Doesn't work.

08:53 I said I think you're

08:56 The best part of this or what what's worked for for me and mice mice out of it is that I married my friend. I married my best friend and there's a difference, you know, because if you bury your lover and get all the excitement wears off it's going to wear off. But if it's your friend, you can forgive a lot of things you can give a lot of things and you know, not think about it, you know, and I think I kind of just ignore you like what I do for you, you know what I think being friends.

09:28 It's really the key here for our marriage. Anyway, you know, and and you got to have a sense of humor really do you got to have a sense of humor and you got to be friends because this being lovers stuff. It's just dumb.

09:44 I kind of Fades with time, you know, but

09:51 Having said that you know where I work has been at my work has been in Port to me. My work has been important to me and working in surgery in some of seeing some of the things that he was like.

10:04 I'm running on adrenaline all the time and being exhausted that afterwards, you know, and some of the things that I saw and experienced and did you know and but if it's into my personality, I think I'm going to give her a Helper and I'm social type of person and you can tell I talk a lot.

10:27 Wanting to be with someone that you're friends with. Is there a time in your marriage that it was more important for you to be friends to each other than anything else, but you just needed supportive your friend.

10:38 I think so. I think so because you always love each other and there's always that deep love and now but you need to have your friend like you have your best friend all the time. You know, it's it's

10:54 It's different. It's

10:57 It's more involved. I think it's more.

11:03 Knowing each other. That's what it is. I think I don't know. It's just like I think is important in a friend at the times of when you lose a parent or lose a friend or lose somebody are you have somebody not only that?

11:22 Nosy, but some of that can give you a hug because if they want to give you a hug and said I think these are important times to because those times you don't worry you don't think about the physical aspect of it and you know it.

11:37 It's a date a hug annoying being a friend is knowing what the other ones needs are without having to ask annoying when that person is bothered by something or not feeling well.

11:52 And that's what being a friend is being a friend is for giving a lot of things. You know, if I live in the cap off the toothpaste or leaving the toilet seat up those things you can forgive if your friends but at the end, of course, you always got to pick which Hill you want to die on you tattoo Yourself by the alphabet spin important to me having my friend with me and all all the time and I I couldn't see not having my friend with me and and there's been times where you know, we both had our illnesses and issues and it's been a sad time cuz you don't want to see that other person suffer and that's really weird that really hurts and bothers me when I see you hurt or in pain or stuff like that. And yeah. Just kind of times, you know, but

12:45 I've been in this relationship like we are we friends from

12:51 From kids, you know, you're I can tell when you are hurting and when you feeling okay?

12:58 It's always at like when you had your your open heart surgery, I mean I was scared.

13:06 But yet I was angry because you're not supposed to get sick if that's the only thing that that upset me the most I was angry. I was angry because you got sick. You're not supposed to do that like that, but Dad we got over that and let's see. Taking care of each other and then you know and

13:35 Not only carrying but taking really taken care of each other stepping up and doing that because his sometimes you give me to a crisis and you need more than a Band-Aid or a pill, you know, you need somebody to hold another thing to that. I would like for my grandkids to know that we were always there for each other and that's what I would expect for my grandkids to be there for their spouses or friends or significant other is to be there not to abandon them when you get sick or have a bad illness. This is something that I would like to install and still in my my grandchildren because that is something like forever.

14:17 I think that I really enjoy the most like now is like Christmas has when everybody's at my house and my kids my my daughter's in-laws, my son's in-laws my grandkids, you know, it's just such a joy to have them all under the same roof. I remember being home and it was $12. And as we grew up older after Christmas is some people couldn't be there but it's just hard to just there were just not all of us were at the same roof, and I'm sure that kind of

14:49 Not upset the parents, but they were kind of sad about that. But when we were all under the same roof fixed makes a lot of difference and this is not my favorite season is Christmas because we get to have everybody there, you know, and they've offered to have Christmas suits at their homes and stuff. But no it's not an option. It's always at our house as long as we're here and we're together. It'll always be. Just reminds me like when I was a kid and everybody would get together at Grandma and Grandpa's house and there was a lot of us and those were fun times. I mean, that's when you get together with your cousins and and make tamales and all this good kind of stuff, you know, so that was wrong.

15:38 I had to be at your house, but we've been very fortunate we do we do thanksgivings and stuff like that not so much but cuz they go to their in-laws and stuff, you know, and and the kids being needle in their twenties now mid to late 20s early to mid to late twenties. So they they have other stuff like that too. But for Christmas everybody shows up is really a sacrifice, but he sure put the effort in get your gets here.

16:24 And what do you think about your politics Jess or where I'm going to go to the nail polish in a different situation time to different two times are different from when we were growing up and I've kind of leftist politics to the younger people. It's their country. It's their politics - kind of over with my name to back in the days. I mean you had the what was it get under the the desk because it might be a earthquake.

17:05 The bombings are over as it does it mean if you remember life in the 60s vs. Now, you know things are just so much, you know and understand us but you know, we had no phone so then the TV was black and white and the phone was hooked to the wall and that was about it but having survived all that, you know, I can only imagine what the future is going to be. I can't I can't even imagine what the future is going to be years me very much so

17:51 If not for the whole day after the age, and yeah directed some.

17:58 It'll be very interesting to bad When I Come Around by there so I know it's going to be very interesting for them and they'll probably be.

18:09 Shaka

18:15 The way that things work in the world with something that you're like, wow, I saw this happen. Yeah, you want to go first. Aha moment was the first time I had an iPad on my hand. It was like, wow, I can watch TV in my hand on my lap. You know, I'm pretty tech-savvy I think I am going to like the way that you I can't

18:44 I can decode anything but I am okay with it. But and I'm going to work at phones and watches and stuff and I've got every little toy that you can think but to me my iHome only was the iPad it's so great. You do it in the color so vivid and I can read a book. I can you call somebody I can text somebody I just in front my hand, you know, so that technology. That was that was it. I mean, you know, you're coming from first of all, we have no TV and then we went from the no TV to black and white TV. And this was like four years. Have you given we got married? We had a black and white TV series after we got married. We got to call the TV, you know and rest, but I wanted a iPad cuz I seen it I seen it somewhere I want it when she should not be.

19:42 How can we use that much and I'm a reader so I read all my books. I can put all my books on the iPad instead of the buy books. I mean, I've got a whole garage full of books that I used to buy before the iPad came along and now he had all my books on there stand there all digital so you can have thousands of them solve the problem. But yeah, I think to me that I did that a lot at work too. So if that kind of progressed to event my aha moment was that one time I had gone to a store and there was a blackout and the kids Behind the cash register didn't know how to add and subtract technology.

20:30 Not the word crippled. I can't think of the word now, but it's not a different kind of handicaps. Do you know because that mean like even now us we have our phones and will you give me your phone number and I'll put it in my phone, but I'll never know your phone number, you know, I can look you up but I'll never know your phone number, but I can look you up. So if you do if a if you were to ask me her phone number, I don't know. I just put Splenda and it comes up and it went good that look at the go. But yeah, then it's the same thing with it with kids working in the hat stores in are there a blackout or something? They can't do it, then you can't do it man in your throat.

21:29 I have older brothers and sisters with her in the radius and that generation does not will not catch up with that technology today. Remember trying to show my mom how to how to play cards on them computer it was it on the iPad when we first got it and cancel it because she was really intrigued by that it was like Wow and she was afraid to touch it because she didn't want to mess it up mess it up somehow, you know, but yeah, yeah, I heard her parents are Mel and lived to be ninety-seven my parents so they both died when their 70s and at seven years old both of them God but her mother left and she lived with us for about 20 years and it was really fun talking to her because I had a

22:24 A person that had lived through a lot of that stuff and I I retired and it was just me and her cuz my wife was still working, but I was in and I was home with her mother and she taught me how to cook. I cooked all the Mexican food that said that she taught me how to do all that and we will talk about the history where she came from how they got here and it was very fascinating fascinating. Yeah to me. I got all that oral history. Yeah. I didn't write it down too bad. I didn't record it. It's just down some of the things she lived with us through, you know, this is crazy, but every generation list,

23:09 Have crisis ER

23:11 Yeah, you know and that's why it's important to write things down or more like this song. That's why I love history. I love history and reader of it to the majors in college in history, but not so much government social histories biographies this kind of thing, I'm into butt.

23:35 Yeah, I'm I'm intrigued by people's everybody's got a story right you make a joke at work. It's like you know how she tell her she doing it is well, I don't know if he'll make it out of here to talk to you anyway.

24:00 It's interesting. I'm I'm a people person have a people person brother sister. So I always had somebody to talk to her.

24:09 And I still talk to all of them today. I'm glad I've lost two three three of them. But the ones I know that I'm retiring at talk to him weekly.

24:21 One of the other hand it's not for 15 or 20 minutes is 4 Hour colors.

24:30 Being raised in a large family has shaped Who You Are

24:33 How do you think that being raised in such a big family has shaped who you are being in the middle child? I think it's taught me to be more tolerant and patient have everybody and the thing is like I had seven sisters and I've worked with nothing but women all my life and I prefer that I think women are more tolerant and they're more willing to compromise than men, you know, but yeah, I was very interested in was that call it is like living in a litter in a litter and all you want to do is eat and I'll be left alone all kinds of personalities. Yeah, I get to me. I'm a message is really good to do the boys, you know, they they really worried but they squabble with each other a lot.

25:33 Do you know any do they do but then I tell her to be more tolerant.

25:41 And like I said, I work with women all my life and professional women their nurses in there.

25:46 Oh my God, it's like having sisters is like living with sisters again at work, you know.

25:52 That sounds very interesting. Still being from a large family and my mother and father. My mother was always working. She was always she always have to be cooking and washing laundry something like that. But my dad was the nurture he would come to every little bundle in the evening and ask you how you doing. How was your day in this kind of thing? And it's I remember that in that I want to be like that. You know, I want it. I want it. I want to be like that want to nurture the way he did because he was he was a real gentle soul, but he took time because my mother didn't have the time but he did even after he got home from work from the fields and stuff, you know, and he had his dinner and took a shower and course. We didn't have TV. So we have to talk but he would come to every a little individual and

26:49 And he would talk to you if you would you would talk to him and he would listen.

26:54 He would listen it was a listener and then he'd go to the next little bundle, but you're bringing it was a little different. There was a you guys traveled a lot. That's why we are migrants migrants. Are we were more stationary. We were just like from City Life in Selma to the Country Life in Parlier. So are you nervous more about working for you on the home? You didn't say? Yes, right and there was only five of us compared to your 12 in a one-bedroom one-bath home.

27:43 Anywhere you fella do you know what just went to grab the pillow and a blanket and make sure you leave early on floor or you can go with it, you know as much as you people think we're all here. You didn't have anything you would have lived in property with a better and that was just the way you are the way you lived me. A lot of people live like that back in the days though. Only way to check the music. I don't want to be like that anymore before again.

28:27 Damn, girl, you put your upbringing was a lot different to how your mother was the the boss of the house and its meaning of fungi.

28:44 I have to um

28:49 We ran out of gas here.

28:59 Talk to your dad and he said he listened. How did you know he was listening? Like what did he do? He would be sized me. If not, but you know he would tell you to look at you.

29:14 He would look at you. And you know, he was listening.

29:20 Advice

29:22 Rarely, but you know he was well you get the feeling he was.

29:29 Listening and he was interested to know how many special the thing is. I didn't speak English when I started to kindergarten. So I had a big issue with that and it was a segregated school. So they didn't accommodate me stuff like that. So I had a lot of issues with school and of course he would talk to me and listen to me and you know, what is a five or six year old going to say, you know, whatever I whatever it was, but he he was technology. It's okay you hang in there just go back or or listen to the radio if he would take listen to the radio in English and that's what I did. I did. I learned English by listening to all these program swing.

30:20 How far are you? Okay, okay. Alright. Yeah.

30:26 So that's a good thing.

30:30 What do you want your legacy to be my legacy? Oh my gosh. I don't know.

30:37 I love you Grandma. I love you Mom in your car and

30:41 Parents loving person unconditionally 11 conditionally then I think that's what makes you an exception and makes exceptional, you know, very committed to your family and your legacy. What would you like for them to know?

31:03 Is generous hard-working social person? You know, I've just like people in my life, but I've never hated anybody and you know, I yeah.

31:19 And that's something I I want them to know on and Carry On and

31:24 What would you say to them? What would be your words but what you want to say to them?

31:33 Why I think I already said it like

31:35 I would want them to respect their.

31:39 It appears their Elder of each other their children be compassionate with their children, even though we all make mistakes to be there for them with open arms. That would be that would be my advice to them.

31:57 I would say be kind.

32:03 Be kind be loving and tell the people you love that you love them because tomorrow is not promised to anybody and take that opportunity and do it today, you know and forgive forgive God forgiveness, you know, you got to forgive to move on, you know, if you're going to carry on a a garage or hate or something. It's just tearing you up nobody else, but I think love

32:28 Telling the people that you love and holding them don't be afraid to hug all the people you love tell him you love him and kiss because I never liked what kind of message would you like to leave for Lola Lola? No problem chance our great-grandkids. Whoever listens to this is to be kind to each other and

32:58 Teletubby alarm

33:04 Okay.

33:09 Okay.