Jordan Rhodes and Lizzie Rhodes

00:06 My name is Jordan Rhodes. I am 31 years old. Today's date is Saturday November 16th, 2019 here at storycorps Atlanta with my lovely wife Lizzy.

00:19 My name is Lizzy Rhodes. I am 30 years old. Today is Saturday November 16th, 2019. We are here at storycorps Atlanta and I am here with my handsome husband to order.

00:33 Do you remember when we met?

00:36 Yes, do you remember where we were?

00:43 Do you mean the internet or do you mean the country OkCupid but do you remember where we met specifically where where we first set eyes on each other in Hanoi Vietnam Hanoi Vietnam. Yes. The bar was called via 2K be out being the translation for beer in Vietnam. And I remember you're wearing feather earrings and you were tall and I remember I felt way shorter immediately. But I also remember how confident you were when we met and that was that was

01:43 The first five minutes. I knew you were a very very interesting person.

01:48 Well, I just remember running a little late and almost backing out on the date because I had a teacher night class and the weather. I don't remember being that I agree. I just remember how to drive really far on my motorbike almost flaking out but remembering how cute you were from your profile. So I didn't back out because it was our as the first time I've ever gone on a date with somebody from the internet before I let alone a date with somebody on another country. I was very very nervous and I actually did not remember that you were late.

02:30 But yeah, I do remember that was a beginning of kind of what I've always called the Vietnam story and I don't know about you. But when anytime someone I asked me about Vietnam or when they hear me mention Vietnam, they immediately make the joke. Oh you were in the war at hyco. I eat very gracefully. What would I do remember is that the first few weeks were like

03:07 I totally shocked and you were the first bit of stability of a reminder of my home country of reminder at UniFirst American I'd seen outside of my one friend that went with me. And so yeah, it was a very very it was it was a great experience that first date from beginning to end, but it was just one part of a lot of different events and

03:45 Tell me about what you were doing at the time. When when I kind of came into your life. Will you are not my first internet date. Let alone my first internet date in a foreign country. I was not feeling nervous at all to meet you as a man. I was in Asia teaching English. It was the third country that I have lived inside the third City I have lived and I have lived in Beijing. I have lived in Shanghai and I had lived in Hanoi. I think I internet data through all three cities actually so you or just I was I was glad when I no longer had to internet dated met you.

04:33 Well, I met you about a month into my stay there and some things that already happened in my time and my tenure and Vietnam that really opened my eyes to how different other countries can be named Lee my first week there when I went out to Vietnam as you know, I went out with my friend will call him Jay went with my friend Jay. He was also from the United States. He was a college friend of mine.

05:09 And we were going out to stay with another friend who was Vietnamese who we will called Dee Dee was also a college friend of the both of us and when we went out there it was a incredibly eye-opening experience. I mean, we will it was my first time outside of the country is not for work. It was the first time in Asia and the first week we pull up and my friend D had arranged for us to stay in a hotel. He's at the place he goes to all the time and it was very excited. It must be a Swanky Hotel. He's well-off individual.

05:53 We go to this hotel. And the first thing I see are the hourly rates on the wall. It was called The Ballantyne Hotel and then I came later to find out it was a notorious place to take ladies of the night. So my friend Jay and I are in this tiny love Hotel starting to feel the romance of what will be the beginning of our adventure.

06:23 I also remember at the end of that first week. We were going to Dee's house to play a game of poker and he drove a car as you remember. There was a lot of motorbikes their primary mode of transportation for people in Vietnam as a motorbike and

06:44 He dropped us off at the house. He was going to park the car. The streets are pretty slim so he had to find some more kind of off the beaten path to park and Jay and I went inside the house and we waited.

06:56 And after about 20 minutes were concerned. Where did he go? Where is he?

07:03 Well

07:05 Right as we are like about to give up on I'm just are playing poker. He walks the door in his head split wide open 3 lacerations. One of the top has four heads to on the back of his head and I can see the skull. He's bleeding. I've never seen anything like this before I ever but everybody froze up in the room and in my job, I have to be the one who takes charge when things go awry. So I clicked into that mode and immediately started talking directions around pointed to his girlfriend the time go get a rag Star Cleaning him up pointed to his cousin go get the car. We need to pull it around and then I called out to Jay find the nearest hospital. We got to go somewhere ASAP.

07:57 Everybody starts running around

08:00 He's stopping like in shock and it reminded me of a fish. I remember saying is his mouth that reminded me of a fish the way he was kind of hoping his lips cuz he was just he didn't know what was going on.

08:14 Hassan to the hospital in a car would seriously has the back window busted out and I asked the cousin what happened he happen to be in the car when they when they parked.

08:32 What happened or what the cousin had told me is that there was an incident a motorbike had cut him off.

08:41 And in his frustration he took his car and he

08:49 At the back of the motor bikes wheel and what he didn't know was that the driver was also transporting child on the front and I don't know if you remember but a lot of people travel with their families motorbikes 6 to a motorbike occurrence, a lot of folks on him a whole family on a motorbike that she didn't realize that there was a kid in the front and the the father driving understandably so bad very upset.

09:20 So he got picked up a rock version of the back of these window breaks it.

09:26 And then D gets upset and then the arms race begins they get out.

09:32 They square up and they begin to fight in the middle of street. Well be wears glasses his was knocked off immediately and in a scene very reminiscent of Velma from Scooby-Doo goes down for the glasses trying to get them cuz he can't see without him while he's down going for the class if the guy grabs a big stick and just starts wailing on these head.

09:59 Fortunately, he was he let up before the worst result could have happened and

10:09 When we managed to get Deeds the hospital his girlfriend a who she

10:20 She asked me for money. They only deal in cash here and they they

10:29 Took all the money in my wallet. I just gave him a lump and it took him to the nearest.

10:35 Room available and I showed him up and he went home that day. He was fine couple concussions that are one. Sorry. You had a concussion couple fractures in the skull, but he was ultimately going to be all right.

10:54 And that was just my first week. So I was totally not sure what I was getting myself into when I went there and no cut to a couple weeks later and I meet you and

11:13 Feeling that the instability of how crazy at thermal country can be more developing country. Can Be Imagined when I meet somebody else from the United States who let you know it's having a different experience - a little bit more stable, but I wouldn't say terribly so I ended up moving in with these two guys threw just the internet finding them online and not knowing either of them but really liking the place that I was living in it was unlike the 17th floor of a nice building and it was it was super beautiful and I think it was about $250 a month. So I would say after we started dating. I remember it was around this time of year because we started before we ever met we started talking about turkey's and I remember you.

12:13 Talking about how you're going to fry a turkey in a trashcan, which I had never before and never and will never do I remember that apartment. I remember going there with you and I remember the view it was it was stunning and I remember seeing all of your Kansas paraphernalia around the room and I thought maybe you were sports fans. That was a joke. That was a cruel joke that I played on you to lower you in? Yep. Yep, but you know as things go as far as our time progressed together, we weren't sure what our relationship was going to be. I mean, no, I definitely not and I mean then my living situation became less stable because I had a disagreement with my roommates over something really

13:13 Best and ended up moving into the really beautiful old house. That was a three-story house. And again, I think like 2 to $300 a month for the whole floor of the house with a rooftop balcony just stunning and and also trying to Traverse the streets on a motorbike because that was pretty much the only way to get around and I chose to ride a motorbike because I was sick of being sexually harassed every time I got on the back of a stranger's bike a big giant white lady of the back of a Vietnamese man's strangers bike was definitely I got old very quickly. So I realized what I wanted to come and take it my Transportation into my own hands and braved the strengths and I remember moving Apartments putting all of the stuff that I owned on the back of this tiny little bug

14:13 And strapping my giant suitcase to the back with like bungee cords and not even looking at a place because driving test people who like head pigs on the back of their but I also tried to take the transportation reins into my own hands and learn very quickly. That is not for everybody my very first time I tried to ride a motorbike I

14:35 Got on it was actually these motorbike. He had not warned me that he likes to race his motorbike. So it was a little souped up and when I went to drive it it's chatted away and I was still on it and I couldn't figure out how to slow it down while I knew where the hand brakes were but I didn't know that you were supposed to hit both at the same time to stop and as I'm getting away, I'm pulling towards a body of water. It was a lake in the middle of the city and I'm like, I'm going to drive this bike right into the lake if I don't stop right now.

15:15 Hit the brake on one side and hot on the other side. It only stops. I think the front wheel, which is a big No-No and I take the bike down cuz I start to feel at losing stability and I crash in front of a little tea shop with little old ladies who came running out looking over me couldn't speak a lick of English. They're all just concerned for my health and I just stared up and bear just like I needed to stay here for a minute and reflect on my life choices because this could have ended very poorly, take you home on the back of my bike after our first date and we had our first kiss or we were bumping helmets. I will never forget but there were some other things I won't forget there as well.

16:07 You know, it was an interesting time. I know why you were teaching classes. I was kind of popping back and forth between watching movies and exploring the city and just being free for the first time from work without anything that I had to do you were working on I remember one weekend. Do you want to wait till work with a band and I remember it was maybe the second or I think it was the second weekend at like we had met the previous weekend. And I remember because you told me hey I'm going to be out of town for a few days so I won't be able to talk to you over these few days. And I remember those three days just being like, oh he's ever going to call me back like I'm done and I remember our friend Susan by works with she was like your crazy. He's definitely couldn't call you back like he told her he's going to be out of town for 3 Days calm down, and I don't know.

17:07 And I'm glad Susan was right. I was actually touring with a Vietnamese Rock Band of 18, + which I don't really know how I got mixed in with them. But they saw I'd had a camera and they knew I had a background in film and they asked me to shoot some of their performance as they went around the country and it was

17:30 Definitely memorable definitely memorable, but it wasn't the only thing and it wasn't the only time that I had gone around the country because later you and I had the privilege of going around the country as well. So we started I would say before that though. So we had started dating in November and then my dad came over in December to visit for Christmas my dad and his new wife Tamara came over and I remember picking my dad up from the airport and him asking me if I was dating anyone and I just kind of try to brush him off said. Oh, yeah, you know, I just I met this nice guy but feeling missing each other for a couple weeks like it's not serious and he's like why just I obviously want to meet this guy like that. I don't I don't know like I had never had a serious boyfriend before so I didn't want to impose

18:30 My family on you and make it something that it wasn't take it to a level that it wasn't too strong. My dad's demanding to meet you. So I figured okay one easy way for us all to just casually meet we'll meet at like noon and we'll just go and drink beer will just go and drink beer at noon and then I'm sure if it gets weird he can peel off right like it'll be an easy out his he can tell you have something else to do we can easily pull away and I think we literally hung out until 2 or 3 in the morning started at a restaurant. It was called. I think the Happy Day Cafe and we had some beers and then you know the normal parting time had passed and we're like, you know, you want to go grab another beer.

19:30 Treats and every time we saw a little piece of plastic Furniture to sit in with a beer next to that. We've we sat our butts down there. He was a child. He was sitting on yes, it was it was a good time. And that was a really special night because that was the first time I'd ever told you I loved you because I knew when I met your family that these were people that they were good people and I knew I already liked you and together it was like this is this is not working out.

20:07 And it was a very very exciting time because here I am in a foreign country. Who knows what's going on. My life is in so many different directions right now and one thing is finally coming together. It was very very exciting. And so shortly after that. I was told that you were going to be going on a trip with one of your best friends.

20:33 Through the country on a motorbike and you invited me and I was very excited to accept that invitation not knowing that that was going to be another adventure in another self.

20:47 Yasso Edward my crazy crazy friend. He had this crazy idea where he had never gotten on the back of a motorbike before let alone driven through it, but somehow wanted to motorbike the entire Country Motorcycle Diaries. He wanted he wanted his romantic notion he did and so he and his boyfriend at the time Clint came over and we were going the plan was to meet in Saigon. So when we plan the trip, it was just me. Just me Clint and Edward were supposed to go on this trip. And at the last minute I remember just saying hey kiddo, maybe Jordan can tag along it. It would be fun to bring him and you know, we can just have like a couples trip. And so at that point that was in March, I think end of February or early March and I remember we don't even dating for a couple months at that time thinking like this is a large commitment that we're doing here because

21:47 You can't write his own bike if he's going to be on the back of my bike the entire time and we're going to be smushed together for days on the back of her up against supposed to be to do it in 10 days. But if you were doing it, right you are doing it rushed. It was supposed to get two week trip that Edward wanted to smush in 210 days because he was on a mission and so 9 hours on a motorbike and with people who have never written before and the motorbike I drove regularly was it did not have any gear vs. This when we were traversing the country I had to learn how to yes, and it was and I just remember us meeting down in Saigon in the south of the country and we spent like a day there and I remember we went to that really intense Museum which was like a terrible day idea because I think it was called like the Museum of

22:46 Can aggression and it was it just felt like trash about being from America? And the first time I ever realize that history is written one way and one country in another in another country when it comes to war and it was that was a intense intense it we're with each other and you know, it made it a very interesting day and then after all of our emotions, you know, where were said and done out of the museum. We decided to Traverse the country all the motorbike. I just remember going to the place the motorbike place and Edward trying to learn how to drive this bike for the first time and I remember that that terrifying drive out of the middle of the city because of course, there are no motor bike Lanes.

23:46 There we are in the center of the city and we are trying to get out so that we could start going north while I just really vividly remember being on the side of the road with semi trucks being on the actual road and it being like the bumpiest most terrifying and all of our stuff is strapped to the back of our bikes and just thinking like we're doing this for 10 days. What are we doing and Edward has this GoPro strapped to his head and he's weaving all about you cannot get in there. Yeah, it was terrifying that the road was so thin and it was completely filled with these 18 wheelers and we were essentially driving on like not even a bumper and wasn't even paid. We basically were on the sidewalk and unpaved cycling on paved sidewalk with 10 days worth of luggage straps on the back of the back tire and you know,

24:46 Had to go and it was it was terrifying and there was a gentleman that was leading us out. So he wasn't flowing down for anything because he he was used to driving in the car. They come you are on the most terrifying Highway of our lives. And I remember when we parted ways with that guy. Just thinking like should we do this or definite idea who died? So yeah, I remember we're driving and we we will really kind of excited when we were leaving the city or like, you know, here's the adventure you start to feel the wind in your sails and then after like six hours, you're like mad that's a long time to be on a motorbike and we got nine more days of this and we're like in the middle of nowhere beautiful though, truly beautiful beautiful, but I'm in jeans. I remember I put on jeans and boots and I was wearing a black v-neck t-shirt.

25:46 And I had rolled up the arms on the T-shirt because it got hot and I put on sunscreen when we left because of course I didn't want to get burned but I remember that first day we took way longer than we thought it was going to take because we were just we're supposed to be taking our shortest to trip and it turned into a when it started hitting Sunset just being terrified thinking. Oh my gosh like this. This is not good for you. We had three more hours to go and we just powered through with power through and and after a couple days, I think it was what was the first day or second day? We made it successfully to our destination. We made it that night because that was when my arms were about to fall off with Sunbird or a lobster and we're in a place where you just can't get aloe vera fortunately. I was able to find a vendor Who Sold aloe plants and I tore him up and took a

26:45 A toothbrush and a coffee mug and I ground up the aloe into a paste to gently put it on your Acura.

26:54 Fleshy wounds and it was it was so painful. I've never had a sunburn like that and I hope I never do again. And when you were putting the aloe on me, I remember being so grateful and just thankful that I had found someone that was willing to have a crazy adventure with me number one, but number to literally grind it would be in less pain and keep me in better spirits because at that point I was over it and the next day Edward told me that he had overheard us talking about like overheard me saying, oh my gosh, I don't think I can do this and him being really worried but thankful for you because you were keeping me in really good spirits his Zeal would go away pretty quickly because he left after we left the most. I mean we stayed on the beach and it was stunning where we stand.

27:54 It was great. But that day was kind of the the remembrance is a bit mark because once again, we got out of our little beach village where we were we are near the day. We stayed there through New Year's Eve. You're going to try and Traverse to another city were like, let's just stay at this beautiful island and will spend New Year's Eve here. And then we'll go New Year's Day will drive to the next place but we're going to have to take a different road because I was wasted time now, we made the classic Traveller snafu. We're a couple days behind but there's this one road. It's it's a shortcut we can take this but it also is not the not the beaten path then we paid for it because I paid for it we were driving and I remember we're going about 40 kilometers an hour in

28:53 I'll run this little dog in the middle of street and he naturally swerves to get out of the way of it and he avoid the dog but in doing so starts the motorbike on a on a sway that he can't undo and the bike goes down. He goes down his hand was still on the accelerator and it dragged him for my don't know probably and he was wearing shorts and a tank top as well. I mean when when we were behind him and saw this we were pretty sure he was going to be a bad batch of danger and when we went up to him, I mean the first thing I thought was this guy's I don't know him, but these probably dead and we're in the middle of nowhere in rice paddies and he's he's

29:51 It just in tatters and but he was alive and we had to pour some water on them and a poor guy had to get back on the bike and get going and that was incredible that he was able to do that because he I'm going to start and begrudgingly come on the Strip Edward had talked him into it as well. And he was a trooper. Well the next day and we're got his because he also crashed but he landed fortunately right on the steps of a of a little Pharmacy Pharmacy and they patched up right there which naturally right afterwards we decided we're done with this trip and but we didn't unfortunately decide at that exact moment we decided to keep pushing through but eventually we got to the next the next by we ship the bikes back and we decided to take a sleeper train to to the rest of the rest of the trip and then fly back but on our way.

30:51 Hey to decide that weed. We didn't just decide that out of nowhere. We were again on a bumpy side of a road. I remember my water fell out of our bike because we are heading of a rough patch and you we stopped to pick it up look back and thought Oh My Gosh Edward and Clint are not behind us. They've crashed again. We backtrack to this very odd little Russian rest stop where we find Clint and Edward posted up refusing to go any further and at that point we did that wasn't it was like, okay, they're done. Thank goodness. We've called this. Let's get this craziness over with so Edward is standing on the side of the road trying to hitchhike trying to get us a ride and he Flags down a little white Minivan and this van is full of people, but they agree to take Jordan and I just the two of us and our bike and I remember

31:51 Strapping with biking in like tying it with a rag and they think exist but we get in and people are staring at us. Like who are these people getting into her car that little white van takes us to a bigger city where we get into what we soon found out was a vegetable tray of an we're as soon as we sit inside this that it seemed like it was a it was a nicer van in the one we were in before but once we get inside, they started piling radishes in on us bags and bags of radishes and onions and carrots and

32:29 We realized very quickly. We were on the turnip truck and every stop along the way they would get out and they would toss one bag off of our laps into the thing and we just laughed the whole way. I remember being Delirious like terrified and just just could not believe what what situation we had found ourselves in and especially when we pulled up to the city and met Clinic Edward and found out they had literally gotten on the luxury liner where they're hitchhiking experience was very different than ours. They had been in reclining seats and put their Motors motorcycles underneath at that point. I called the motorcycle rental company. We sent our bikes down south on a train and we continued our journey North and honestly had a great rest of our trip Port Clinton and Edward were tortured by their open wounds on the beach, but honestly, the rest of that trip was amazing and

33:29 Then returning home to find your house drama. Basically, we got back and I got offered from D to go on a trip across the country as well having just a great experience with you. I was like, let's do it. I'll do it not knowing that this whole trip was basically for me to take pictures of him and his then fiance a along the way and we we everyday would get up at 6 a.m. And we will shoot pictures from 6 a.m. Till sunset power 6 p.m. 7 p.m. With his dad barking at us in broken English and Vietnamese on where we should take the shots and this and that and by the 7th or 8th day we decide we got to get out of here. And so we tell be like, hey buddy like we were supposed to be hanging out here. This was supposed to be a fun little trip.

34:27 Well, he he says okay tomorrow we'll have a good time. He goes back to tell a about the the story he goes back to a to tell her that we were complaining she gets upset and he beats her up and it was terrifying because we going to knock on our door and he says we're going home the middle the night. We're leaving. We had to drive 28 hours back to the main are Hub annoy.

35:01 And it was the most awkward car ride I've ever been and it was me and my American friend and Addie and his entire family and in this poor girl who was battered and we thought it was it was

35:17 It was really terrible what it happened. So when I got back to annoy I naturally went to your house. And and when you told me that these people don't know where I live. I really really hope this guy does not know where I live. So yeah, I go to your house and spend the weekend there and over that weekend. I get a text saying we would like some money for this trip and I refuse to pay because I was being put to work for seven days without anything and I really thought of Paul by the whole situation that they would ask me for money and all of this and so I refused

36:00 And when I came back to the house that we were all staying in their change the locks and I received a text from a basically saying that they have reconciled her and d and that if we were if I tried to go back in to get my stuff that she would she would call the police and that I would know in that. I knew this way that her family had over the police referring to an incident earlier. Where do you had gotten into an altercation with another person beating the man into a coma and gotten away with it because they had recently paid off the police commissioner of the city and and basically putting a threat on my life.

36:53 And it was terrifying and when I heard that I just conveniently my roommate was moving to her boyfriends at the same time. And so I thought well, why don't why don't you just come live with me and we have only been dating for a very brief. Of time, but I will say I'll be it very stressful that you literally didn't have any clothes besides the clothes in your backpack and ended up wearing my Santa Claus boxers to bed most nights and my iHeart DJ shirt. We were living in this little Blissful honeymoon stage that was made very different because we are in a different country. We didn't know what our future would hold and you know, we are first pet was was Peter or spider.

37:53 My perspective on one end. I have this like loving exciting relationship budding and on the other end. I have this terrifying violent person who has been in 1oz caitian to kautz Animal Hospital another altercation that he got basically got away with aggravated assault or attempted murder and then they were threatening me. So I just was in this very very emotionally confused state, but I will say that through all of it.

38:30 I would I would happily do it again because we met each other and you know cut to 6 years later. Now we are we've been we're married now and we have a house and we're building a life and despite all of the adversity. We're here.

38:52 And we had a great story to tell a story to tell.

38:59 The Vietnam story