Joshua Sinclair and Eian-Gabriel Sinclair
DescriptionEian-Gabriel Sinclair (14) interviews his father, Joshua Sinclair (60), about his own father and the lingering regret of not having his voice recorded.
Subject Log / Time Code
- Joshua Sinclair
- Eian-Gabriel Sinclair
Recording LocationVirtual Recording
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00:00 My name is eian-gabriel Sinclair. I am 14 years old and Rochester, New York. And the name of my conversation partner is Joshua Sinclair. My daddy and my relationship.
00:25 My name is Joshua, Ryan Sinclair. I'm 60 years old. Today's date is Saturday, July 24th, 2021 in Rochester, New York, the name of my conversation partner as Ian Gabriel, Ogden Sinclair, and my relationship with my conversation partner. I'm his father.
00:56 Daddy, how long will it take for my voice to change? And when will it stop cracking? Normally your voice should change and stop tracking within a few months.
01:15 You look so happy in this picture of you and your parents when you were a kid. What are some of the main things that you would like me to know and remember about your father since I wasn't born early enough to meet him.
01:30 I believed then and now that I was blessed with the best dad on the planet. Sadly. However, the reason he was so wonderful for me, was probably the result of a family tragedy and regret that he had the rest of his life.
01:54 Before I was born, the youngest child in our family was my sister Gloria, but she reportedly became very sick and passed away when my father was away.
02:07 He returned home to hear that his youngest child, who is just four years old died while he was away.
02:15 My parents were in their forties when Gloria died, so they probably didn't expect that. They would have another child at their age.
02:24 Then several months later. I was born and my father seemed to believe that God was blessing him with an opportunity to make up for not being there. When Gloria died.
02:38 Therefore he made sure that he was always there for me and that I never liked anything. I wish so badly that he could have lived long enough to see and have a relationship with you and your brothers and to see that his devotion and attentiveness toward me throughout my life cost me to continually strive to be a most devoted father for you and for your brothers.
03:08 Unfortunately, my father was alive when my first son, your brother, Joshua was born, but Joshua passed away shortly after he was born from complications during the labor. So my father did not get to meet then my father passed away before your older brother is having the Nathan and you were born. So, of course, he did not live long enough to see any of you either.
03:38 What do you remember or miss the most about him?
03:44 I remember so much about them. Almost all of it being wonderful.
03:50 And what I miss the most about him is his smile and his voice, and the bird sounds that he used to make.
03:59 Got it. You have any regrets?
04:07 Of course, somewhere beyond my control but decades ago when my father was alive. Very few people had video cameras. We didn't. And I were telephones were connected to the wall.
04:22 Instead of voicemail. We have answering machines.
04:27 The answering machine and my house has a small cassette tape, that recorded messages.
04:35 When people call.
04:38 Like, most people after we listen to the messages on our answering machine. We usually rely on the cassette to the beginning and new messages were then recorded over the old messages.
04:50 My father, probably called me a few times each week.
04:54 And if I wasn't there, he usually recorded the message for me.
05:00 After he passed away. I really, really missed hearing his voice and I eventually remembered that. He used to leave messages on your answering machine if I wasn't home, when you called.
05:14 I got so excited and ran to the answering machine and listen to both sides of the little cassette tape inside the recording machine over and over from beginning to end.
05:27 But as it turns out, since we always rebound, the tape after listening to your other messages, the new messages were recorded over the other ones.
05:38 So there was not a single message from my father that was still on the tape and that regret still hurts to this day and will for the rest of my life.
05:49 No, I can still hear his voice very clearly in my mind and in my heart, but not in my ears and there's no way to let you on your brother.
06:03 Is that why you and Mommy always say voicemail messages from certain people now in technology, and it might be easier to take those things for granted. So, please don't take any of your blessings for granted but cherish them, and for your own sake. I hope that you will also be sure to record safely preserve and cherish all special moments, especially with the people that you will miss, when they are no longer here.
06:42 Is it so much easier for your generation to do that? Now? I love you Daddy. I love you and your brothers to Ian.
06:59 I can imagine how much my father would love and be extremely proud of you too. Especially if I could see him or call him just one last time to tell him how much I love and miss him. And that you the youngest son of his youngest child was actually accepted into the Rochester Institute of Technology University, even though you were only fourteen years old.