Joy Martin, Luke Martin, Camren Martin, Mason Martin, and Mike Martin

00:04 My name is Luke Martin. I'm 9 years old. Today's day is October 3rd 2019. We live in Louisville, Kentucky, and I'm my relationship is the Sun.

00:19 Hi, my name is Cameron Martin. I'm 12 years old today is October 3rd 2019. We are in Louisville, Kentucky and I am the oldest of the three times.

00:31 Hi, my name is Mike Martin. I'm 41 years old today is October 3rd 2019. We are Louisville, Kentucky and I'm the spouse.

00:43 Hi, my name is Mason. I'm 5 years old.

00:50 Today's day is October 3rd, 2019.

00:56 Alabama, Louisville, Kentucky

01:00 And send to my mom.

01:03 Hi, I'm Joy Martin. I am 39 years old today is October 3rd 2019. We are in Louisville, Kentucky and I am the mom the self.

01:15 So we're just here to talk a little bit about my mother was The Franciscan Terry Evelyn. She went by Terry or Terry sometimes but to us in our family. It was very much Mimi and so we're just here that to sit around here and discuss the memories and thoughts about her. So one of the one of the questions I have are or one of the things I don't want this kind of interested in asking everyone is and what was their favorite thing that they enjoy doing with their Mimi. So whoever wants. That's my favorite thing that I did with Mimi was when we baked cuz I have baked to I had fake two apple pies with her. I made her cheesecake and occasionally, we would bake some brownies or cookies together.

02:15 Yeah, what's your what's your favorite memory?

02:18 Okay, he wants to get have a minute Mason. What's your favorite most best memory of Mimi? Its name Taylor Farms Bakery.

02:34 And

02:37 And then there's a teacher at my school who's his mom and dad works at it. And so you guys like to go to the bakery would you that is why did you like going to the bakery with Mimi eating Donuts? What kind of donut would she get? I'm just curious. Why did you get?

02:59 Chocolate always got like cream filled Donuts. Those were the best over there and then she would get the glazed and bring them home for everybody wouldn't see. Yep Apple maker and they made the best.

03:28 Waffles and we would eat those for breakfast.

03:32 Yeah, those were good though. She's a lot of your favorite memories was cooking. So yeah, she did cook really well and she'll enjoy doing that. You know that she was a Kentucky fan and if Kentucky made a basket you can always count on her to

03:56 Scream so loud. It was awesome strips be no Kentucky fans, but then when I went to U of L, she didn't really like that but then she started cheering for you though. Once the kids started liking U of L. And so she was completely fine with with liking you know, cuz they did but she definitely for the UK fan and she definitely have lots of enthusiasm about those games and she doesn't know what it was when she didn't realize that she like we hit people when she talked like not purposely but she just talked with her hand. So she would constantly can you play? Oh my gosh, you know in the beginning came up because we'd always be there about that but

04:49 When I guess when I mean I have lots of favorite favorite memories. I've had it really don't want to break it down to just one but probably I mean

05:04 You know going plays anything to do with with hair and makeup and getting her hair done or getting her makeup done or her going places together shopping with a huge thing. We both enjoy doing together and just sitting around and laughing and playing with the kids and sharing all the do I call her whenever they would say something funny whenever they still say stuff it's funny, but when they were little and learning words and stuff, I would always call her and tell her the funny thing and she said,

05:40 Do I get on the app with the big f on it? And it was like she was trying to get on it and I was like get touched the blue square with the y f o u mean FaceTime. Okay, no, click the home button. I don't see any button that says home the button at the bottom of your eye if I was at my if I had my old phone I would have at least two or three voicemails from hers. And what's my Apple password memory CST? I still have all her voicemail on my voicemail saved back in 2017 and all of her voicemails where you know, hello, it's your mom and I used to

06:40 Because like I have caller ID since like 90, I know it's your mom to say hello. I wanted to get into the technology piece, but she was kind of forced to and but it's strong and will head that she was she wasn't going to so she still up until the end of the year. So had a flip phone and wouldn't text refused to text anybody so she would enter a room like when she come down to our house. She'd yell.

07:16 Whatever she like it would be like she's here now, but that she answered but she walk in the door you and they would ruin from the back of the house. We talk about things you like to do together. If you were going to draw a picture of her, what would you draw like everyone?

07:53 I think I would draw.

07:57 Her hair first because she was like a lot about her hair.

08:04 And she always fix her hair. She had a million tons of hairspray on her counter her bathroom. Her master bathroom sink is full with hairspray and I don't know considering but she so she had breast cancer. So she lost her hair, but she still had all this hairspray get her hair back. So she was probably just keeping it cuz you know, there's a lot of it and she wouldn't be able to use it. But I think I would draw and Lucas on the way here. I would draw like a big bright sun in a big big colorful rainbow or something because I mean besides the obvious not a we know not a picture of her like

09:04 Stick figure picture of her but like I guess more so in pictures, how do I imagine her in pictures? And I guess that would be like a very bright person kind of like the sun is today and you know, just everybody likes everybody's happy when the sun's out everybody feels better when the sun's out and she kind of made everybody feel better and happy in a rainbow is colorful and I feel like she had that type of Personality just very colorful to everyone even when she probably wasn't feeling the best so that's fine, but I would draw watching TV.

09:43 Yes of the story behind that she she you know, all simers was near and dear to her heart because her mom has Alzheimers and my brother's wife at the time was into raising money for all timers and you know, mom always wanted to help other people's causes out. So she she put on a purple suit and purple the color for Alzheimer's and she put on purple suit in dressed up as you know for this all timers walkathon. They were having in she called herself Terry her name, of course. So she called herself Terry Terry the Alzheimer's Ferry and she was literally going around people during the 5K walk and sprinkling purple dust on people like she was like it like fiery went and most people would probably walk around on the daily like who who that lady is cuckoo butt, but it was just really just like fun fun, and you don't realize how much

10:43 What it was until it's gone and you miss it and it was really just a bright light in everybody's today and a lot of it was she didn't care what anybody said every and that's why she went around sprinkle desktop people without like the biggest smile on her face. Yeah. Yeah. That's great. That's awesome. Cuz that's how you saw her to write.

11:17 Oh, yeah, even in the worst day, what would you draw if you thinking of me me? What do you think of to draw? Yeah that why does it? Why does that remind you of Mimi?

11:39 And I feel like you're all.

11:41 That's true. That's really good. I like that answer think that's awesome. What do you miss the most about me? What do you miss the most about her?

12:00 Famous getting donuts if we should we should go and get the old memories.

12:20 I miss the most I miss when we would just have a random talks just talked about like the news we used me and her whenever I slept over at her house. We would just get up in the morning and we will be like, so how about this and then she would give her opinion on it. And then we just find something else to do and I'll be like oh did you know you can do this on your iPad? I think I think what would I hear when I hear you when you talk like that is that she was so present with you and that you don't like to present the moment. She wasn't like sometimes we're guilty of, you know, having to help another kid out while you want to just talk or having to do laundry while you just want to talk or have you no answering texts on her phone while you was going to talk or something maybe with always present in that she spent every know she had your undivided attention when you two would talk and

13:20 You even joy that I know that about you vs. The others that you really enjoy that one on one individual a stalking and Chichi love to that. So I know it went hear me say that that's what I think of but the thought of what you what you miss her on our last day of school. She would pick us up and she would tie balloons to her convertible and we would and she would yell. That's my grandson and she would have like six air horns on them all at same time be like

13:58 Yeah, she she made it known so you miss that sheet that you can shoot and never get to do that. Right? Yeah. Yeah, but she did that in some fashion at your at your sporting events. She any time you made a basket. She was staying up in the bleachers in the oven.

14:14 And I really meant I really miss that but I really hated it just represents.

14:29 The calming presence when things will go by or might be rough YouTube smile on her face.

14:35 Realizing you don't see her smiling.

14:42 A lot of respect for a lots of perspective to the how things could be worse. I think I missed just not being able to take to to to call her and talk to her. I mean I used to call her and talk to her just to talk but I always used to call her and talk to her when you know when things to tell her about the funny thing for kids said or 4 when I was upset about something kind of get a rational answer advice or whatever. I miss not being able to call her and let people say don't take that for granted and I think that's so cliche, but it's true because I didn't feel like I was taking it for granted at the time, but I probably was cuz now that I don't can't do it.

15:31 It is hard when you can't you know that you can't.

15:35 Hollering and talked to her just even about not this bad things but just getting her her wisdom in her advice and also just hearing her laugh and things like that. So that's what I would usually call her and say hey just want to let you know you're coming down here tomorrow and bring your suitcase to she would always try to get out of coming up there. And then that last that last year was the hardest year because it was hard not to get angry at her for not wanting to do things with that's when she used to be so so active but she wasn't feeling well but yet we we were like trying to push her because we knew that

16:20 Her

16:22 I guess her her weakness in her I guess her laying her laying around her weakness. Her non motivation was would would hurt her more, you know, because she needed to keep moving and keep her body healthy and that we pushed her and made her come and sometimes I think that made her upset and looking back. I think that makes us feel like we should have done that but it was all with good intentions and that's what I have to remember but

16:51 See

16:54 What old is a good one? What could she do better than anyone else? Like anyone else? You know, what was the with something that she could do that was so

17:06 Good about her that no one else could do like you said give undivided attention because like we couldn't do that because our it's a cluster house.

17:20 3 boys. So yeah.

17:25 She could she was the best at her smile like no one else could have a better smile than her.

17:37 I think what she was two could do better than anyone else. At least. I don't know if I really probably would have said this growing up because I was a child but seeing her as a grandmother. I was very impressed by her patients and I would I don't she did say I wanted to be more like her with her patients with just with

18:03 And he just announced in handling life and inhaling the kids and she would always remind me to go without saying it to you know, just life is short and it's really it's no big deal, you know, who cares move on things that would you know be big to me she would always find a way to make me feel like okay. It's not the end of the world. So I think she had better patience and I'm over the last several years than anyone definitely more than me. What did Mimi do so good that no one else can do is good.

18:39 Mild Upper East Side smile dim big face like that. Yeah did have big smile and answer about Christmas and she loved hosting the whole family there and then like for the kids and even our presents she would have these big elaborate scavenger hunts play and outer loop puzzle and she would draw this puzzle or something. You'd have to put the puzzle together to see what your prize was or she have to go through all these different steps to find out what you got and she she loved hosting people. She loved throwing a party and you know, her planning is awesome. Also a little bit back to the miss most was really miss her. Laugh her laugh.

19:37 Like this video we have and it's the pie face game and she she gets the whipped cream on her face and she's like

19:48 I think she was all mine Paving and I find myself like now that you know, we just moved into our house a year ago. So it was a year ago September. Well, she was way too. She she saw the new house and she came into the new house and you know, I don't know just by there or what maybe two or three times not that many time, but she wasn't herself or otherwise she would have been there and then we should put this here and that he or she wasn't really feeling herself to really enjoy it like she would have since I didn't get the best of her in the new house. And so I find myself now that I'm fixing it up and decorating it and actually doing line doing lawn and Landscapes that I found so much just yesterday. I got four months and I'm like how many times a day? I don't know.

20:48 I would probably call her. Normally I would call her and say Mom I got these mom's house. Right and she was a Master Gardener and she took me in Horticulture class and she was very good at that in her garden is always beautiful. So I was probably one of her top three favorite things in the world with her garden. I mean my friends would call me or actually would text me pictures of her sleeping in her garden your mom's outside asleep on her phone chair in her garden out that and I'm not surprised not even surprised about this. You'll have to show me that Angie had texted me a picture of her passed out asleep in her back, which it says it's even funnier because she lives in a sit in the city limits. So like there's writing open in front of everybody in her garden, but you know, she fixed it up and made it her little Oasis. And so she did that really pretty amazing thing.

21:46 So what about this was a good one. I really like you don't miss about them.

21:58 Her just laying around being depressed.

22:05 And not taking care of herself.

22:09 I don't miss having to call her and say hey you need to do this today because it made me not feel good because you're telling her what to do. Yeah.

22:23 I do miss her nosy this in the time. She knew that though like we always make fun of her for that and she knew she did that we made fun of that too.

22:41 Instilled it again.

22:57 You do miss that that was there anything you don't miss? He said not getting you don't miss not getting donuts. I'm I'm kind of with Luke. I don't I don't miss that hard. I hate that the last year was the hardest year, but it was very trying on everybody and I don't miss having to get mean with her.

23:23 What I felt was mean and I think she knew my intentions but still I don't miss having to get me when I was really thinking I was doing the best thing for her. I don't know if it was or not. But at the time I felt like it so I'm glad that that part is over her pain anyway, and I'm glad that she can she doesn't have any of that so

23:49 Could say so do you have any regrets? I like this one too. And we didn't stop in. I fell and hit my head in the corner of a picture and it would have

24:12 Help me if I stopped cuz I wouldn't have got hurt and it would and

24:18 It would help her because

24:20 She wouldn't have any wrestling her house. One of my regrets is when Mom and Dad were in Mexico and we stay with her and we were very disrespectful.

24:35 And you know, she was funny as we would always come home and say where they good and she would always say I should never write y'all out. Now. She did the vet trip must have been a kind of a rough one which you know, that was five days. So I know how it is. She did say there were some incidents but for the most part she did not want to punish you guys or any night that she you know, she she she forgive trust me. She didn't heart heart.

25:13 You know, she did not always think about that when she tell you got if you guys made her happy, in fact at the end, you know, she was saying she wanted so bad to do stuff with us, but just didn't have the energy because but when she would get up there and I would make her she would say she was so glad she did come because I mean just seeing that like seeing you guys and playing with you guys and stuff got her out of her phone said she was in but it was getting getting there. That was the hardest though.

25:40 What about you? Do you have anything that you wish maybe you didn't say to me me or didn't do to Mimi or anything you wish didn't happen.

25:53 Didn't talk back to her.

25:57 Ya think that may have hurt her feelings at the time. Yeah.

26:04 Not making it there that day.

26:06 Do you have one on the bed?

26:12 Well, I know that that that was that is one thing I'm grateful for is being able to be there. I haven't been able to talk to her before she went on the ventilator because you know

26:23 That that would have probably been really really hard for me. Even though I still don't feel like it's it's still closed Circle. It's guess probably a little more closed little more clothes for me than it is for you since you didn't really get to even say anything but or even them they you know that the boys didn't get to either but there was

26:45 We don't think anybody knew what would come 22 days later. So it's kind of hard to really.

26:51 Prepare for that

26:53 As far as regrets for me.

26:58 I know the good thing about all this is that I don't sit around and say if I'd have done this and it would have done in this would have happened. I don't do that a lot. I hardly ever do it at all and I knew how she was and I knew enough about medical stuff that there wasn't anything that we could have done to do to make her better. She was just a little and so I don't have regrets in that sense. The only regret that I think about that I do think about a lot is that maybe I shouldn't have pushed her to do things that she didn't feel like doing because now I do realize that you know, she might happen without energy like a lot of a lot of my a lot of my assumptions were that she was saying she didn't have the energy but what she was really meeting with that she didn't have the mental energy to do it. And so I was helping her and pushing her to do it. But I think what she really meant and what I was refusing to believe that shouldn't have the physical energy to do it. So

27:58 Pushing somebody to physically do something that they really couldn't do I think was I feel sometimes bad about that. And so I regret may be pushing his hard. But I also remember that my intentions were to keep her move them because you know, I was told if she didn't say moving and she could make yourself even more ill because of her age and laying around and things like that.

28:24 He moving so that was that's kind of my regret is just not knowing where that balance was wishing. I would have had an idea of what was too much to ask for and what was not too much so.

28:38 If you could talk to her, what would you say to her?

28:43 I would say I wish you were here. I hope I wish I are you okay? I don't even know what to say. We have a lot of things have been going on and I would love to catch up.

29:03 I would say you should look at the world now. It's like horrible and people are still doing bad things as when you were on here and Earth and

29:19 I would say all the things that have been going on like a different things in the news and stuff.

29:27 Like what's happened to us?

29:32 In like what we're doing.

29:37 Yeah, what would you say?

29:41 Would you say to Mimi if she walked in the store you could talk to her? What would you say to her?

29:49 Uhuru why are you here. Is there something you would want to tell her right now and she's been gone set me and let her know about

30:12 Is your ear the goodest human ever?

30:20 Thank you for being the best mother in law that I could have asked for.

30:29 More like a mom to me a lot of times food.

30:32 And for being so good to me and everybody sit at this table.

30:40 Well, I mean, I guess I need to know more about this question because it says if you could talk to the person who died will just send them so I didn't think about this before I asked that question because if we're just if we get too if we have to say just one thing and then they have to go back to heaven then at that would be different. But if we could talk to them forever and ever and ever then that would be different. So I think that the main thing that's been if I had to pick one, I guess the main thing that's on my head that's been there since the day she died was I just want to know that she's that I just I didn't feel like there was any closure cuz you know like we talked and I said you're going to be put on vent and you're to be okay, and we'll see you when you get off and then it's like his clothes.

31:25 That's not what happened in and it makes me wonder if she wonders what did happen. I mean it seems so weird like she did when her anything she doesn't have any thought she's okay, but I don't know I would probably just want to talk about hey, this is what happened since the last time I saw you I want you to know how it happened. I want to know what we did. I wouldn't want you to know that we fought for 22 days that you fought hard that we you know, no one left your side that you know that you just were too sick and I just want to hear her say something like or I would hope that maybe we car conversation cuz he that you know, it's okay. I know you tried hard. I know there was nothing you could do in.

32:07 I'm okay, and I like it up here whatever. It feels weird to talk about.

32:14 You know some things that are would be said that you would say to someone that's not lie. So it's kind of hard but I guess I thought I was just just to ask her how she if if she's okay up there if she realizes that everything that happened and kind of like a she at peace with with what's happened. And I mean, I would hope that you would say yes because the alternative is I don't know what we would do. I would just be hopeful that sheet.

32:44 Was it a better place for sure in that she could tell me that herself I guess.

32:51 Oh gosh. What here, this is a good one. What do you what do you wish that she knew about you today? Like

33:02 She knew.

33:04 That I'm not like

33:07 A little baby anymore or like

33:14 I'm braver than I was when she was alive. Okay, I wish you knew that. I do roller coasters now or or if that love cooking and I want to get into that also, like when I play school basketball, she said don't tell me how you do and try out but then we never have to tell her because she went on The Vamps like today after she never did get to hear. What team you made a b or c team. Yeah. Yeah. I know. What would you what would you tell me me?

34:09 When You Wish Mimi new about you, what do you want her to know about you

34:15 I wish.

34:18 Can I wear headphones if you have a phone now? Well your phone if you have a phone at 5 because you we had a we had to put it on somebody's iPod cuz we had a free phone number. That's the only reason you have a phone at 5. We had to put it somewhere but he so that you could call or text her.

34:51 Perfect for a 5 year old who did it and she wishes that she had.

35:09 She wishes that she had stopped when she could when she was younger cuz ya'll said that she smoke when she was younger, but she hasn't smoked in like 40 years because when I would ask the questions, you know, every time we just got admitted to the hospital like these smoke and she was like in 40 years ago. Since honey or not since I was funny, but she was kind of like when she was barely barely breathing when they brought her in and but yet you still talkin and she was like to look at my toes ain't nobody thinking that your mom is okay. Just stop talking so you can use that breast.

36:04 But what it would have hope that she knows I wish she knew about me. I haven't done anything fancy and she's passed away like stop smoking or maybe basketball team ever ridden roller coasters anything, but I just wanted to know that.

36:23 I'm doing the best I can trying to I know that she would want me to.

36:31 Tonight she would be very very upset if she knew I was upset over her and so I try to think about that, but it's not easy until I just wanted to know that I'm trying.

36:43 I would also want to know that we're doing this because we love her like the most.

36:51 Yeah, and I think that we might have

36:59 Want at time for maybe a quick another quick one more quick question, and I'm trying to think of something might be.

37:13 Let's see. What about a New Traditions was kind of unusual that we have or things that we've done because it's only been ten months but it feels like there's so much he's missed out on in soda think that that times the rest of our lives.

37:30 It is a lot now. We like we would never see the like my uncle and her brother and we would never like meet with them for any special holidays. But now we're meeting for Christmas because we never did we never did we did this this past this Christmas. If I die, does it refer someone Christmas? We had we had a Christmas dinner at my house and we don't we didn't usually do that. So that's kind of something new and then her birthday just passed last month and we went to her grave and let off lanterns and balloons and had a birthday dinner and celebration ever. So that's kind of going to probably be a tradition for us and then

38:24 You know just died.

38:26 With a lot of her pictures hanging up over there around the house and we wear her buttons whenever we do anything related to her. Oh, yeah, but I've started scholarship in her name and we gave that out in May for the first time last year and so will do that every May to a student in the nursing career and that's exciting to look forward to hearing are we put her face on some angel wings and put it on a button anywhere we go to like he had his first grandparents day and that was those hard cuz she wasn't able to go so I wish we could try to remember the buttons that day. But oh, well anybody have a last thought about just found the church Rio 2

39:26 Songs when she knew it will still be making Traditions so to come but anyways, I'm glad everybody to sit and talk about her we could probably go on for hours and hours and hours about different thoughts and memories that come up. So it's been said nice to hear everybody start from some of those questions. So we all got together.

39:50 Love you, baby. Do we love you? Mommy so much and miss you more by.