Judy Forrester and Tony Teravainen

00:01 My name is Judy Forrester. Today is January 21st. 2020. We are at the new Children's Museum in San Diego, California. I am in I am not interviewing. I'm going to start over again. Do I just keep going just keep going. I'm with my good friend and collaborator Tony hear from step and we work together for quite a while.

00:25 My name is Tony teravainen.

00:27 I am today is January 21st 2020 and I'm at the new Children's Museum in San Diego, California. My interview partner is Judy and we've been working together in the space now for about 10 years.

00:46 Tony we're here to talk about the partnership that we have with step and the new children's museum, which is something that I happen to be really proud of and can you talk about a little bit your background with the military how you got involved? And what kind of brought you to where you are today in a little bit about step?

01:06 Yeah, thanks Judy. I am I never thought I'd be running a nonprofit like staff which stands for support the enlisted project and you know where the agency that works with young military families and transitioning veteran families getting to get into a financial crisis and they're going to lose their house for their car. They can't feed their their children. They run out of diapers these types of crises. What we did was through this Crisis get thrown away or they never came back to this place. Again. They never had to experience the loss of another basic necessities to help them get control of it. So we built up we built a nonprofit and we built a behavioral Intervention Program to help them change their behaviors and over the last seven years that we've been doing this. We were 90% successful in getting people to change their behavior for the long term, which is it truly fantastic.

01:56 It's something I wouldn't have thought of ever leading up to coming into this to just start a nonprofit like this and then moved to two full-time leadership, but

02:10 You know, it's really an experience that came out of.

02:14 The first quarter of a century of my life. I was born.

02:19 I was born in Duluth Air Force Base in the middle of winter up there and my dad was in the Air Force and we traveled around all over the United States and Europe in England, and he performed his he was fixed Electronics on on airplanes and we just travel around the world so through that we would move our home every 3 years or so. I went to seven different schools growing up.

02:48 And that became the lifestyle and it was interesting.

02:53 There wasn't a lot of talk. Then this was mid-eighties. I guess he got out and there wasn't a lot of talk about, you know, the issues with veterans getting jobs and then transitioning then but it was I was like super capable and he

03:08 He always had side jobs and you always do whatever it takes to make it work.

03:14 And when he got out of the military, I watched him really struggle to get a job and he and he came home and he and he finally said he got a job and

03:23 And like I said, he'd fix Electronics on

03:27 Short-range medium-range bombers and he came home. He said he got a job teaching electricity at a adult vocational school. And I said, you know anything about electricity you guys know, I'll figure it out and I'm like Father she's crazy. It took a month to find this job. So I end up finishing high school and we didn't talk a lot about my future as a family military life is really about survival. It's not it's you know, you're you're just getting settled in one place. You're trying to figure out what you need to do and then all the sudden you're getting ready to move somewhere else. So not allowed his long-term future planning. So College was no discussion in our family and

04:05 My high school friends on my sports teams were really engaged in sports is really their ticket out and then they they helped me get some college applications out and I got accepted to a couple schools and end up going to Old Dominion University for engineering program electrical engineering. Where is that Norfolk, Virginia? I had no idea how this money thing worked with school.

04:34 Later found out but

04:39 I got to school and I didn't fit.

04:43 You just didn't it wasn't the school's really spread out and I was in the 700 person classes and books and assignments, and it just it didn't connect with me and I really thought I was not just adequate to be there. I just wasn't good enough in a lot of different ways to be there.

05:01 And in my later years, I'd look back on that and realized that was my first transition out of military is really the sense of it's the same sense of not fitting in the not connecting and different priorities and in different cultures and it it's a clash and that was that was really my first transition and I I didn't have to reply to the first message. I just stopped going to class. I was on the rugby team. I went to rugby practice and play games in that cuz that was a lot of fun, but I just couldn't connect and I I called my dad and he

05:35 He said you going back next semester. You knew what I was calling for. And I said no, you know, you said you got a pencil and she cuts me off. You got a pencil. I said you write this number down. I call this number. I said, my dad said call you.

05:48 And he said who's your dad and I told him and he laughed and he's like Bob he could come on down and it turns out he was a navy recruiter and my dad was doing some work with him at a time.

06:03 And I went down there and I just

06:06 Didn't I didn't have any clue what I was going to do, but when I walk through those doors again kind of in retrospect, I felt comfortable. I knew nothing about the Navy he was an Air Force guy knew nothing about their rank. So they're at their uniforms or any of that stuff, but it was like I really felt at home and it was just overwhelming sense of peace that had come over me and I asked for see a catalog electricians.

06:34 I said I'm electrician. I've been electrician right now for five years. I'll be one step ahead all these guys. So we went and took the entrance exam in the back and I must have scored really well on it cuz then all the sudden they were my friend.

06:48 Message Tony if you ever thought about the nuclear power program.

06:53 Like being we had a local story was our local plan. I see why you guys got those. Let me talk to. And I said, so let me get this straight.

07:03 You teach me how to run a character. I could be on a submarine.

07:07 You got to pay me for this and you give me a place to sleep for Christmas when I get kicked out of the dorms and basically go homeless and says, yeah.

07:16 Sign me up.

07:20 Can you guess why we can't do that. You're still 17. I lost it in from the back of the Senior Chief. He's like call Bob G and you calling my dad sign me up and about four weeks later. I turned 18.

07:38 Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. I was on a training boot camp.

07:43 Wow, and that was how I joined the military and it was

07:48 Is comfortable experience was a lot of work I'll be seeing you keep our program has a lot of schooling for the first two years. I got to my first submarine to four years in the submarine does coupled appointments there.

08:01 And really got a sense of belonging really got a sense of being able being capable. I got selected for a lot of things and people people saw things in me that I never saw.

08:15 And then they feel like they drew a lot out of it. I would like to say I didn't have a lot of good mentors, but I really did I probably wasn't in a position to recognize my point cuz I was just kind of

08:25 You're single and getting paid and live in the military the Navy life though the quintessential Navy life.

08:33 I did well enough to get kind of my pic of Duty and I want to come out to San Diego for the next two and I got out here and I had a great time.

08:44 Unfortunately when I got ready to go back to the my my next submarine my failed my medical evaluation.

08:51 To the point that they said I couldn't be around extractors. I couldn't go to see I could be on submarines and in fact, we're going to retire you from the military.

08:59 And yeah, I was just like totally shocked.

09:04 So it was that the process was kind like a slow train wreck, you know, it's coming and it's just it's always temporary Duty places and it was just completely out-of-sorts again, and then finally one night. I called in to see you. I knew it was getting close and I had just facts of this paperwork and I really was a passenger on my discharge. I had no idea what was going on and find this guy is like how your paperwork came in you don't need to come in tomorrow.

09:29 Alright, so we going to go.

09:32 Don't care where you go. You don't come here.

09:35 No, did you already have a family? Cuz I know you got a great family. So I thought I was single and I just sitting on my front porch. I'm 26 years old and I've been retired from the only life I've ever known.

09:51 And it's it's like completely over with and just processing that I thought if I was going to stay for the music I was at home, you know, and this was just so comfortable for me in there so many 11% of military children join the military compared to less than half a percent of the general population is so it's like it's a dramatic margin there and I was just one of those people that was just home for me and

10:21 I just I'm I walked away from it. And it's you talk to Veterans nowadays and they give you these stories and it's hard to describe it. It's like a bad girlfriend that you just still love and you know, you just can't be within you want to be with it and I hate you but I don't hate and so what you end up doing just like you compartmentalize all of it and you just walk away and you don't ask for services. You don't go with the help. You don't tell anybody don't self-identify as so many of our veterans are still doing today.

10:49 And I just completely walked away from it and strangely enough. I didn't I didn't go to the VA for 15 years. I stop seeing all my doctors. I got lucky. I found a job quick and it was a shift for a job where I could just work 70 or 80 hours a week like 90 hours a week like I used to so did you get college credit for you talking about all the schooling that you had for the nuclear sub did what did you get college credit for any of that? Yeah. I did and after I got into my job. I realized it ain't working 5:40 at night to 5:40 in the morning 6 and 7 days a week just isn't a good lifestyle. I start to go into school in trouble. Yeah. I was working at Sony electronics manufacturing and I got I got three degrees while I was there.

11:36 And everytime I 3 just 3 a.m. And every time I got another degree I get from Oceanside, first. You got to manage my job got moved into management maintenance. I did finish my associates in nuclear engineering as soon as I did that my boss made me an engineering manager snog a bunch of Engineers or information went back and finished my bachelor's and neutering and yeah, we closed the factory down in 2006 and I was the chief maintenance engineer.

12:04 A lot of US military folks had gone to Sony and kind of transitioned out together and we took a lot of the technical folks from a technical trades in the military and we could train him easily to run.

12:15 Been in in the funniest in the funniest full circle moment.

12:21 To get that job at Sony I ran into recruiter and an inn in some class. I was taken and this the submarine electrician. I was talking to say hey, this guy's leaves yet. He tried to hire me, but my wife wants to move to, Texas.

12:35 And inside grab the recruiter I said, you know if you tried to hire him I did what he did and then we could look at me and since you can fix robot vs. I can't keep track of my dad saying that he could teach, you know adults electricity. I'm sure we have one in the other room when we're done with this about 18 years. And then I took it I was Consulting got a job with Booz. Allen Hamilton was a big government contractor.

13:13 Got an opportunity to volunteer for a nonprofit that helps military families.

13:17 And I was doing strategy planning for them and the volunteer was the nonprofit was looking for a volunteer to help them with their strategy. So I could do that. I understood military families. They look very familiar to me.

13:33 So I can help that overtime that nonprofit kind of went sideways with his mission and its organization. So we were kind of faced with a decision if we want to keep serving these military families here in San Diego in Southern California. Then we're going to have to do it on our own.

13:49 And that was the decision point to create step and I was on the founding board and then I quickly became chairman of the board and then I quickly became in her room and then full-time CEO and that was six years ago, but really them I understood the military life. So well, if you know what you're a kid and a submarine sailor and having a bad discharge like I lived every one of those aspects I could see it in those families.

14:15 But my time away from the military had really taught me.

14:19 They just need to be this way has taught me to solve problems and I'm looking these two things going on. You know, there's just a better way to do this. And that was how can we keep these people with much as Band-Aid the situation, how can we create something that gets these people from this crisis situation out of it forever and really Empower them to take control their financial lives and very blessed to be able to get it started and then be successful with it and you know where come 5,000 client to move to the program this month will stop R500 eviction for military family, which is really impressive. You've done a great job and I think the one of the things that's so greatest. You don't do the Band-Aid right? It's not about a Band-Aid. It's about how you change their perspective and their ability to be successful. And what do they watch out for and how do they manage their money to where you really given the tools that they need to be successful on the long-term and your metrics for that or just really impressive.

15:17 Well, thanks and I think I think your program I see I see so much in your program.

15:24 That appeals to me as a military kid, you know people ask me. How do you make everybody in your office? How do you set the culture in your office Tony? And I tell him they know my mom as you've met her as well and she's very gentle soul. But she and she from Foster Care in Wichita, Kansas. My dad came through she was 18. He was 19 and they got married and he was a runaway from Brooklyn and they went off and had their life and within three years. She got two kids and he shipping off to Okinawa and that was the start of her life and

16:02 Later in her life. She started teaching at school. And then she finished her PhD and she's a retired English Professor now and she helps our office and she volunteers and most people in office of matter and she helps us with editing and proofreading kind on that level.

16:17 And to them she's a triple whammy like the boss's wife a young military spouse, you know, and dr. Giordano and so I interview all the new employees and I sit with all the volunteers and I tell him about my mom and I say I don't care what that phone call.

16:37 Goes like I don't care what that email message. Looks like. I don't care what that train wreck circus whatever happens when somebody comes in this officer make some Facebook post. Whatever it is. You're going to treat that woman like it's my mother cuz that's this is where she came when she needed help and these kids laying on the floor playing with the dollhouse and breaking Batman's arm off. That's me and my sister laying there.

17:00 Then you're going to treat him like me and if there's any question about you know, why we're here. It's for my mom and it's for every other person like my mom and and they're all the same.

17:12 And it that sinks in

17:15 I think when I come here, I see all these things.

17:19 I see all these things that that you offer these military families and if you know if together we can give these military families this chance to experience these opportunities to find out more about the larger world to see that other folks. I'm have interest for them to see that you introduced him to these world of arts and art play and all these different avenues for growth that I know my parents tried to give me but we were very limited for these types of cultural and artistic experiences.

17:54 Well, I'm I am really proud of what we have here. And you know, I have never

17:59 Really? I'd live in San Diego. I came here to go to college. So I've lived here for many years and I cuz you know, I started at the Chamber of Commerce. And so what we really focused on was the economics of the military, San Diego is known as military town and then many years ago.

18:14 Kind of Diversified it had to diversify its economy and a lot of people don't realize the San Diego still is a military town. So we focused a lot on that when I was at the chamber, but it was always about the economics and then when I went to pick to lead lead San Diego hours to your lead, San Diego again, it was about the economics and how many jobs are tied to the military and what's the gross domestic product that comes from the military and all of those things so hadn't spent a lot of time thinking about it was always about how the military service San Diego and how the military served our nation. It wasn't so much about how San Diego serves military families. So as you know, I was I did some funding I was at 5 years at Bank of America during the funding and that's when we actually had yeah, that's where we met and I started learning a little bit about more about military non-profits.

19:07 And some of the needs of our local military families, but it wasn't until I spent a year as interim CEO at the Uso that I started really understanding San Diego has the largest population of active duty military residence here. We are one of only two locations in the nation where military families with special-needs children reside we

19:30 The majority of our residents are young active duty military families. And with the cost of living in San Diego is really hard to make ends meet and it felt those are things that you know, you hear peripherally, but it doesn't really make a lot of impact on you until you have that military mom walk through your door and she's got three kids and there's a drastic need of all naturally not what they use us so set up for it, right? That's not what the Uso has been set up for over many years. So even though we did have a downtown Center here in San Diego. I mean, I literally had a military mom have a complete emotional breakdown in the floor of my office. This pressures are enormous and people don't understand and Military strong of the military offers all kinds of resources, but there's no way to offer everything that these families need especially when you consider that so many of these moms are really young. They've been moved across the country. They don't have their moms. They don't have their extended families they do.

20:30 Have the normal support systems and and they have to be cautious because their spouse whether it's her husband and their wife their spouses in and they want to be successful in the military. So it's not as easy to talk about your needs within your military family, even though there are a lot of resources there sometimes hesitation. So I learned a lot about that when I was at the USO in that short period of time, but then when I came over here, we offer so much support as if you know where Children's Museum but we have the support programs that we have that we work with your families. We have things going on on the floor and oftentimes these families just need a respite your mom just needs a place to go with pets.

21:19 Friendly, and she doesn't have to think about the fact that they can't pay their electric bill that you don't have to think about. You know, if that's a lot of the needs that they come to you guys for that is a constant pressure here is a true respite and they can spend the whole day here. And as you know, we have a lot of military programming they did some military programming before I came here, but I became so passionate about the military families when I got here we expanded it dramatically. Yeah, I thought your staff about this is this is Judy baby. She keeps pushing this with us programs and we had a lot of military families here and they had there was a bunch of primarily moms and young kids and there had been they had just been off the pier I'm saying goodbye to their spouses who work was going to but they were going to go on like a 9 month deployment and one of the moms came up to us, and she was actually Italian she was an American citizen.

22:19 Italian had a child about 6 months old and she was crying and she said you know she cuz I don't know anybody here. I just arrived in San Diego a couple of months ago. I don't know anybody.

22:34 I just told my husband goodbye. I've got my baby and if it weren't for you guys, I'd be going home by myself. And and that doesn't seem like a lot but it really is a lot to those families in a lot. We talked to another another military mom. The one of our board members was in the cafe, aren't we have a nice cafe here? And there was a young mom with a three-year-old an infant and she was trying to juggle kids were hungry. She was trying to get in line to go to the cafe. And so my board member invite me or asked if she could help so she actually held the baby while mom went up and got lunch and when she sat down they started talking and Anna was so impressed with this mom and they said she would came down on the train from Camp Pendleton and asked if she could buy an annual membership for her and which was so generous with my board member but was so surprised to hear that she actually carved that out in her budget because it was such an adventure and a respite a day of

23:34 Yeah, it was so valuable for them. They came down once a week from Camp from Oceanside on the train to come and spend the entire day here at the Museum because it was just such a peaceful respite time for them. How did you feel any ask how did you feel senior board member connect to like he was military mom the person in this situation and just like wanting to die when I see that it inspires me it when I see other people like a light bulb, It's like oh my gosh, how do they do this? Let me know too that when I talk to people about I don't know. It's not that I'm unaware or that it's not important, but I don't

24:19 Talked so much about the economic impact of the military to San Diego. I'm much more an evangelist about how we need to be supportive of these young families and to let other people know because a lot of it is because they don't know a lot of it is because the general population of San Diego doesn't understand what the Dilemma of some of these young families are America are removed from it. But yeah San Diego I say I had a similar experience with

24:49 I was a County Supervisor. She was in the office Kristin Kristin Gaspar. Yeah, she was in her office for one of our bed. So we have a few collect donated Goods into one of the things we do we collect from the community. We get this stuff away must have baby Focus stuff diapers wipes cribs car seats, baby clothes toys books all that stuff that that young moms need and we can get in this resource and then we can also start playing the seeds in their head about the financial programs.

25:14 A christimas down she wanted to she wanted to take part. She was volunteering and she was helping direct traffic and everything.

25:21 I it was early in her 10 years of supervisor. So she wanted to understand what the military folks in her district for liking who's in line talking to somebody a woman and she's one in the stroller or one point on her skirt. She told another one and the baby in her arms threw up and she just looked at Kristen and just handed her the babe and Chris took it and baby keeps throwing up on her in a but she's got to get the diaper bag ounces whole thing. And then she stayed they stayed together like through the through the warehouse collecting everything I need and she helped him get in the car and it's just like

25:54 Fit that all makes sense, like all those pieces to shopping hearing the same experience. I think we had a two-year-old my three-year-old at this time or when you're on the two year old and she's almost overwhelmed in this point. You know, my wife's very capable woman. She's got her own company and she's she's trying to raise these two kids and we do have funerals support that comes in and helps us but she was such as getting like totally overwhelmed one day and I started laughing and she's waiting laughing at us like another world. I live in they sent these are these are the folks that comes step for help that we engage when it's just we talked about I said, this is said she got a one-year-old a two-year-old. I think I was going to go on a trip with your freaking out cuz I wanna be gone for the weekend. You know, I said, this is what the 23-year old military spouses.

26:48 I'm in my office. This is their world every day and they don't have help and they don't have this and they don't have this as she spoke to me. She goes.

26:56 I couldn't do it just like I'd I just have no idea how this is all managed. So it's amazing him it is especially when you're under the kind of financial pressure that they're onto so that's 60 to 70% of the of the military families in San Diego live below HUD low income level at or below hunting in Louisville for the support. You do qualify for a lot of the services and then no due to the Transitions and the deployments the spouses are commonly inspect 50% unemployment or underemployment rate. So it's really a challenge for them to even get a job.

27:35 We have a

27:37 She's actually the lowest lowest level worker we have in our office at step and she does our admin work for a development team young computer entry in the thank you notes and all the paperwork make a paper and she works 5 hours a day.

27:52 And I still lowest kind of job we have in and she has a master's degree in counseling and somebody was in the office in this once and she was actually in the meeting with us and they said I don't understand what this military underemployment means and I just smiled and I said Tara do you want to answer that question and she's from Georgia and her great best George and accident and she's like, I got 15 years of counseling. I got a master's degree in counseling and this is what I do 5 hours a day cuz I got to pick up my kids. I got to keep the house going I got to make some money and this is this is the only job I could find that would fit all that. And the other thing that people don't think about is the family Dynamic when you've got one spouse that is deployed. And then so you've got your single parent for 9 months right mom's home or dad is home with the kids and now they're single parent and then all the sudden

28:49 From deployment comes back the other spouse and the whole family Dynamic changes and that's one of the things one of the programs that I like here that we do is where we bring the whole families together on your art making and an opportunity for them to you kind of be together in and work together and in a concentrated manner because trying to figure out how those

29:10 High the hierarchy in the family goes right. I've been a single mom and now all of a sudden my spouse's back who's Crazy Dynamics, right? If you can come back with a lot of real strong opinions about things because they've a lot of times they've just come if they've been just come back from Afghanistan or they've come back from that type of a deployment. It's a really intense situation. So they bring that intensity back to the home. Can you think of any other career path that has mandatory training called return to intimacy or returning to Parenthood side? Yeah. I'm going to come home.

29:50 So yeah, why?

29:54 So, what's your what are your next steps with military families here at the Museum? What are you thinking?

30:01 Well, I we would like to just have a free doll military families year-round right now. We're part of the blue star program. So we're free to military families in the summer. We also work through your organization to Uso through Fleet week and we distribute thousands of free passes. So those and then we have the facilitated programming, but if it were completely up to me and as we continue to look for funding for these programs, I would love it if somebody comes in and shows an active duty military ID and they get in for free because sometimes it's that day where and then I witnessed at the Uso when the pressures are so high and you're just pulling your hair out and you just need to go somewhere. You know, I had a young military mom came in the Uso and young little baby was crying 18 month old screaming bloody murder running all over the place and I heard all this noise and I went out for my office into the main area.

31:01 The televisions were and Mom had her back to me and I put my hands on her shoulder. And I said can I hold the baby? Cuz the baby was just screaming bloody murder and she turned around and she just had tears pouring out of her face and she goes they won't stop crying and I didn't know where to go. So how do you answer something like that? Right? She didn't know anybody else here. She was new to San Diego. She had these new kids and the and the spouse is deployed and she was afraid because she couldn't get her to stop crying and she didn't have anywhere else to go but she knew she could go to the Uso. So as we continue to build our partnership here and we have a loving open staff and when military families come in they are embraced warmly and we also have we build community here where a lot of these people come week after week after week and they can talk about some of the challenges outside of their normal environment.

31:58 And and just was someone that was that one incident was so important to me when I came here remembering that mom's face. I had nowhere to go. I want them always have somewhere to go here at the Children's Museum my kids. Look forward to coming here when they do come down and it's you have a great family. You have a great family.

32:20 It's

32:23 Yeah.

32:25 I ate yesterday was Martin Luther King day, and I got back from I was at a veterans award dinner in Washington DC last weekend entertainment got him Sunday night.

32:40 And then some home kind of recuperating / spending time with my family yesterday.

32:46 And I opened up one of my social media pieces and was like, the first one I saw was somebody had a quote from Martin Luther King that said some

32:56 Tell God, you know, show me.

32:59 And I'm already like an embarrassed by said If I Stay show me how to use my talent. Show me my path show me how to be the person I want to be.

33:08 Is interesting cuz that's that's often.

33:11 You know how I look for clarity. It's just like there's so many things to do out there and I feel so

33:19 I just so thankful that you know my entire life seem like these crazy desperate trainwrecks and then all the sudden they come to this point recite.

33:29 I had this just there was never a question whether I was going to quit my job at Booz Allen Hamilton and become the CEO of a non-profit. That was so risking. So shaky. I couldn't hire anybody else for now at the point where you know, it's very very tenuous position in my life everything else going on, but it was just like this was the decision and its and I figured it would take me 8 months or so to turn the channel to get it going and I just stuck with it and you know 20/20 we're looking at new big things too. And what is the next chapter for staph look like and I just feel

34:06 I feel this if we're not going to make this community.

34:12 We don't make this community like the one we want our kids to grow up in and who's going to do that and stumbling into this career path stumbling and meeting people like you and partners like you and friends like you it's just I feel just really blessed to be able to to do what I'm doing for the community in working with with you and doing that you do a great job and I'm really grateful that I happen to be at a place that's can be so supportive. So thanks for taking the time today. So I appreciate you talking to us appreciate the time to sit with you too. It's always a pleasure.