Katie O'Connell and Mary Kennedy

Recorded January 2, 2020 Archived January 2, 2020 42:27 minutes
0:00 / 0:00
Id: chi003225

Description

Katie O'Connell (22) interviews her grandmother Mary Kennedy (73) about her life and becoming a mother and grandmother.

Subject Log / Time Code

Mary recalls her first memory.
Mary remembers her mom, dad, and aunt.
Mary tell Katie about the first time she knew she's be a mom and her second pregnancy.
Katie ask Mary about becoming a mom.
Mary talks about what professional options were possible for when she was young. Mary thinks about what kind of work she would do today if she had her pick.
Mary says she is most proud of how her children turned out.
Mary recalls becoming a grandmother and meeting Katie for the first time.
Mark asks Katie what's the best part of her life.
Mary recalls sharing a room with her sister.
Mary wonders about the biggest difference between going to church now and in the past. Mary thinks that going to church used to be more satisfying in terms of community.
Mary talks about her heart attack.
Mary remembers pulling a prank on her brother.
Katie asks Mary what was the last time she cried.

Participants

  • Katie O'Connell
  • Mary Kennedy

Recording Locations

Chicago Cultural Center

Venue / Recording Kit


Transcript

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00:01 Hi, my name is Mary and I can hardly believe I'm 73. And today is January 2nd 2020. We're downtown Chicago at the Chicago Cultural Center. And my interview partner is Katie and she is my eldest grandchild my oldest granddaughter.

00:23 And she's great.

00:28 My name is Katie O'Connell. I'm 22 and today is January 2nd 2020. We are downtown Chicago and I am with my Grandma Mary Kennedy Mary Stevenson.

00:44 And I guess I'm going to start the interview. So Grandma do you remember about your first memory like as a child or just like the first memory that you can draw back to I do I was living with my Boucher. Am I an Chay who I loved dearly and I was probably about two weeks is my mother was in the TB sanitarium and I live with my bruschetta at my Aunt Jay and I remember going to the carnival and we came home and I want a stick. I don't know what kind of stick anyway and I was running and I tripped and I guess with dangerous and remember my Boucher breaking it up and I was devastated because if I won this goofy thing at this Carnival,

01:33 And living there. I remember that.

01:37 What do you remember like? What was your relationship like with your Boucher?

01:41 Oh, she was very nice. She died. When I was like in second grade, so I didn't get to know her as well as my other Grandma, but she was

01:50 Probably wasn't that old but you seemed old because back then Grandma's dress old like Grandma shoes and dresses and everything, but she was always very kind and

02:06 Cuz I don't remember exactly you know what she was always welcoming and kind and open armed.

02:12 And what do you remember thinking of like your parents growing up with? What was your relationship with them when you were a kid? I was good. You know, my mother liked bake and cook and my dad worked a lot a real lack. So he would have like he would have every other Sunday off. And other than that he worked 13 days. So we worked a lot and I remember that he would we were here and you only have one TV and I don't think we had a TV until I was five and he would be watching TV like boxing he like boxing and did go to change the channel to because he was sleeping and make noise and you had to turn it very quietly and leave wake up a call. I'm awake. I'm awake. I'm just resting my eyes, you know, and then we had to watch the stupid boxing nothing anything else was going to happen, but you know

03:02 So that was kind of bad. And how did your relationship change with Ms. You grew up older cuz since they were around for a good amount of time.

03:14 Oh my God, you're my father better. He got to be wasn't that it was cold person, but he just didn't have time and is he got older? He never ever let us leave at some point where you always said on the way out. I love you. And I think part of that. My sister told me was because when he was growing up their house was where everybody landed when they came from Ireland, they always had the cast of thousands living in the house and he always wish that his when his father died when he was younger too, but that they had more of saying I love you, although I remember always kissing my grandma. Goodbye my answer whatever they were my great aunt's but they live with her so that and then my mother

04:01 She became more.

04:06 Of a today woman where she was trying to do more of what she wanted to do rather than just living.

04:17 The wave of the times but she didn't have a good education and she was always embarrassed about that because I don't know if you knew that she never creative graduated from high school and she never wanted anybody to know that piece of somebody said, where did you go to school? She would say but if they said, where did you graduate? She say I went to so she was always kind of that but you always wanted to try something new like when Grandpa and I were living in New York. We first got married. She was taking like a class how to make hats and then she was taking a class that how to put on makeup. It's a little life pet grooming Rose would take all these goofy glasses and it should tell us about it, you know.

05:01 But the makeup one was funny, but that was that was classic.

05:07 Is there someone in your life that has been most influential?

05:14 I think that'll about influential but somebody who

05:19 Made me feel very special my whole life until she died. My aunt Jay who is single never married and she live with my Boucher until but she died in the tri-state in that house and she just always made me feel like I was the most wonderful special wonderful person in the world like once in awhile, I get to stay overnight with her and we would go on the bus downtown to Chicago to Marshall Fields and she would buy me something like she would buy me a coat or shoes. It was just like I was the only person in the world that that was something that I guess it was that you made me feel special interest was influential, but just in fact and I know it's not even politically correct now, but everybody has to call me her little pickaninny, which meant at that time like you were like more than just special you were piano Beyond.

06:17 This is that Grandma Rose's sister or older sister and she died when I was.

06:24 In high school Stacy died on Christmas day, but she had cancer she had breast cancer and I just take her sometimes we're live in Downers Grove already and the kids are all in school. So she must have been

06:38 More than kindergarten because I was able to take her to Loyola and I would take her for her treatment sometimes and we would go out for lunch right after because she said I can't go tomorrow, but I can go today and she knew she wouldn't feel good. So she was kind of a neat person for me personally as there a lesson from her that you will that you hold onto.

07:00 Probably just being kind of somebody extra little extra kind extra make somebody feel extra-special. I know what you did to for my first communion. It's in my first communion picture yet. Everybody has their prayer book in the rosary. She gave me a little nosegay of pink and white carnations. That was like the first time anybody has ever given me flowers and it was just like I was holding that my communion picture instead of my prayer book.

07:29 Guess it wasn't very religious pasta.

07:32 I don't think the nun saw me do that. They had to probably would have Banda.

07:43 Do you remember when you found out that you were going to be a mother?

07:47 Oh, yes.

07:50 Well, I don't know if you know this. I mean your mom knows it and I know your uncle's know that I had a miscarriage before your mom and we had really wanted to have kids and that was truly devastating. I just I just was just felt awful and then grandpa has gone one night and he got

08:13 Surprise trip you go on sale, because they stable travel agency near we're not in that were they were but 95th Street when we lived in Evergreen and it's gone for all this time. I thought where is he we came back and he was surprised me got a trip to Florida. We're going to go and then he used to work shift work. So he was working a shift and I have gone to the doctor.

08:37 After the Miss and he said to me that I was pregnant and I was crying because I thought I can't do this again. I just can't do this again. And then I had to wake Grandpa up and I said on the edge of the bed and he knew what was going on. I mean, he just knew from my expression, you know, and then I don't know what he said. He said well, I guess we're not going anywhere any Island the only Island we're going to go to his Blue Island. Anyway, it was just you know where Blue Island is. It's it's nothing special or put it that way. It was kind of a joke anyway, so I was ecstatic and I was teaching then and when you taught you couldn't be pregnant.

09:18 And I didn't want to tell them and we see that was probably in the summer and I didn't want to tell him that I was pregnant because I told him I was pregnant I won't be able to teach and I was afraid that if I did another miscarriage, then I won't have a job and I want a baby so I lied and I told him when I finally told him I told him I was doing April.

09:41 And I wasn't sure exactly when I was stupid. I knew what's an April but I was pretty small and I kept wearing the same clothes at them when I finally announced to them. All the teachers are what kind of figure that you know, then I had a very large early baby your mother with 8 pounds 5 ounces in 6 weeks early.

09:58 So yeah, it was very good. It was in a very happy once I got over the initial.

10:06 Chocolate

10:09 It like transitioning into motherhood.

10:12 You know, I don't think it was all that hard.

10:17 We had just a little apartment of two bedroom apartment in Evergreen everybody back then you know, you got married and had a baby in Oregon Department after you have the baby you moved into a house. So when we were I was expecting your mom.

10:32 We bought a house, but we weren't in the house yet because it wasn't ready and I don't think it was that bad. I didn't work like people work now like that love teaching so it wasn't like I was giving up a profession that I was wild about.

10:49 We only have one car. I mean it was just a different world and I was so happy that I had your mom. I mean that was just a real joy for both of us for both. Me and Grandpa was like he I want Uncle used to laugh because when your mother cries he would hold her any tractor up and down like this in my uncle. Tommy's to go just like a milkshake you shaking your mother just scrambled do that. No. Yeah with your mom or with that whatever baby my uncle time always laughs but I remember that because there was only one at the time and he be doing that in my lifetime ago. She can a baby like a milkshake.

11:28 That's funny.

11:30 Okay, I know that you said like before that when you're in school is he could be a secretary nurse or a teacher and he didn't want to be a nurse because there was blood and he didn't know what's a platter science science and then secretary because of the typing I hate boring boring boring you did it, but you didn't love it you fell into it. You know it just like to tell you when I was in school that I could be something else but teaching was probably the best because you could always fall back on it, but it was never anything that I loved you went to school today. What do you think you would?

12:14 You know, I probably will so I hate to say this be a lawyer of some sort but not one that is looking for millions of dollars. But like the ones that would be like a family practice 2.

12:30 I don't mean the kind that just help the homeless or the the people that need a lot of help but just people that like a district attorney where you help the people didn't come in that violate It Whatever let's probably something where you could actually help people and help somebody maybe get their kids back or help with I don't know something like that cuz I always liked all the shows on TV and I watch the movie last night about Ruth Bader Ginsburg. It's really good.

13:02 Would you say if you think you have the same answer when you were 20 in your twenties or would you say something different than I probably would have said something different. I don't know what I wanted to be.

13:12 Because there wasn't a lot open for females back when I was in college. I mean truly.

13:19 If you look at the life school or the business school, I was not that many they were most all my friends with a nurse is teachers are secretaries. Nobody did anything that I can remember different than that and most of my friends now that I hang around with pretty much the same and a lot of them left. A lot of them left teaching and asked me when it's a nursing some of my friends so they were that and then they went to vet.

13:49 Do you have like is there something in your life that you're most proud of?

13:55 I'm almost proud of it. I think.

14:00 In reality, I'm probably most proud of

14:04 My kids and how they turned out and that they all get along they all are responsible adults and who are raising.

14:16 Responsible children and they all

14:22 Love their families and there isn't like I mean, I think that's that's what I'm probably and I know Grandpa and I've talked about that but we always feel so fortunate that all three of them have turned out really good that married nice people have great kids and they all love each other which is all I can ask for and then I want to come home eventually.

14:50 How about other lessons in life that stick with you?

14:54 I don't know. Give me an example that one stuff. I have to.

14:59 Just like anything that you live by or just like

15:07 I don't know. I thought I would ask it but

15:10 The life I think you have to be honest and true to yourself more than anything because if you can't be honest with yourself.

15:19 Can you put a false front in front of people?

15:23 You aren't going to be who you are. And if you make believe you're this person vs. Person, so I found out once or twice and real estate other people would try to talk people into buying a house. They they have this real Rob and you know, this is great in this is all good. And I was more laid-back about it. I mean, I think I tried to close but more laid back in the once or twice. I did that and always blow up in my face and I wasn't being true to myself and I think that's what you have to do. And that's what I try. I don't know if you don't always succeed obviously, you know life, isn't that way?

15:59 Right now

16:01 What questions cake?

16:06 A lot of the ones I prepare. It's

16:12 I asked you about when you found out you're going to be a gram or a mom. Do you remember when you find out you're going to be a grandma? Absolutely, it was Grandpa's birthday.

16:22 Yes and Grandpa open a present from your mom and dad and I was a cop and it said I love grandpa and he was clueless and I'm all settled out like when Sarah Gemini.

16:39 I was crazy like that if he didn't catch her and I think Grandma Kennedy and grab a Stevens for their and Grandpa Stevens, and then I don't think you know, Grandma's kind of figured it out. And then finally Grandpa Grandpa your grandpa all that. It was all we were all hugging and kissing, you know, but I do remember very explicitly because he was telling me calm down, It's just like in Hawaii, right?

17:07 You remember this don't you it was pretty much the same except there weren't quite as many characters around silver the first why do oh, yeah. Well your mom and dad.

17:23 The doctor who speak in Downers Grove that your mom went to and they stopped at the house because they found out that they were going to go to the hospital that night and they didn't have their Blockbuster video card with the stuff that I was at the office and Grandpa called me and said, where's your Blockbuster card? And I don't know where I probably told him wherever it was and then

17:46 He we knew that you were your mom and dad were going to the hospital and we went to bed and I never asked to be with them for the birth because I always felt that I still feel that that's should be between Mom and Dad's the husband and wife. It's very private, very personal and very wonderful. And but I remember they called in the phone probably rang like a half of rain. We were in bed as it was in the early in the morning that you were born like one or two. I think to remember I know it's somewhere there and

18:19 I could hear you in the background your mom and she just had a little girl.

18:25 They don't prescribe but I really like crazy and I was truly nuts and then

18:32 You know, I was in bed when I got out of bed. I was probably happen around and then I didn't I was going to call Dan was probably 3 in the morning and cramps. But now I suppose I want to go in at least six or seven. I don't know if I ever went back to bed and then I went we went to the hospital and then I picked up I think Grandma Grandpa met Grandma Kennedy at the train. She took the train and come from downtown and I went picked up Grandma and Grandpa Stephens have them see you and it was just it was just amazed it was and you look like your mother which was the most other uncannily thing like as soon as I saw you was like, oh my God, I have to get their baby picture out when she was born because she looked

19:22 I remember in Middle School, you took my mom's cheerleading picture and put it on her bulletin board and try to trick her into thinking that it was me on the bulletin board, even though clearly my mom and her cheerleading uniform or whatever you did. I mean still look like you're not as much but when you were baby, everybody said that you were you could be, you know, a twin or something.

19:49 People tell me I look like her YouTube YouTube.

19:58 Do you have any questions or I don't have anymore. I know I'm just thinking.

20:06 Well, I ask you a question. Okay, what's been the best thing in your life so far?

20:20 I think that the more that I've been away I realized how lucky I am for the family that I grew up in and the opportunities that I got because of that.

20:32 And I think that

20:37 Especially in like my last year of school. I realized like that very much. So and even just like bringing my friend's home and showing them my hometown like a lot of them didn't come from a place like that or like a place where they walk through the streets and I like friends to their aunt or uncle or they like seeing someone that grew up with that stops and talks to you on the street for like 20 minutes.

21:05 So, I don't know. I think the best thing I did my life was like go away, but continue to come back.

21:12 The school that's my regret my life really because I wasn't able to go away and I remember saying that Grandpa that when our kids were in college, they had to go away if they don't like it they could come home, but they had to spend at least one year away at school. Well after the first semester nobody wanted to come home so

21:36 So are you coming home for break while maybe you know, but that if that that would be my only big group only regret but you know major that I can say is that it was something I wish and when my friends talked about going away to school and what they did and you know, they have friends or they want to learn how to play bridge in college and may sound silly but you know just stuff like that and I never had that opportunity and I maybe would have studied more because I was either on the L or the bus or whatever going to and from home to school. It was a long ways about an hour each way. So

22:19 Cuz it ain't gay to your Uncle Mike away the school and Katie went to st. Seb's on the Southside for two years and that you transfer to U of I Champaign and Uncle Mike. Can you play The Lacs he went away to school two different schools and flunked out of both.

22:39 St. Michael's I think was in Mexico and it came of the other one was in Florida. He he yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

22:51 Will my sister and I didn't like each other for the most part growing up because I was five years younger and I was Bradley net only showed a room. We shared a bed. So when she had her friends over I would be in the I was just it was just the age difference that was really bad and the circumstances of sharing too much but as we got older we got much closer and Uncle Mike and I were always pretty close because he was only a year behind me in school and I knew all his friends and we used to walk to and from school to and from at lunch time to and from in the morning. So we all knew each other. He was only a year behind me in school. So I'm kind of like

23:32 On that like you would call your two years apart school, but you know, so he and I were

23:38 Friends, he was always a little crazy, but now

23:44 Oh, yeah, you always got in trouble. Was there like a shifting point for you and Aunt Katie?

23:51 Probably

23:54 When I was finally like a senior in high school or something in a junior or senior in high school because we had way more in common nothing in common, but she was in school and I was finally reaching an age of not being a brat and that been in O thinking well, I'm going to show her, you know, this is my room too. And I know but you did stuff to me like we used to have a phone in a room and because I was on the phone and she was mad at me. She told my parents to take the phone out. So I was really mad at her.

24:25 So we know we were younger did stupid stuff, but you know what, you know now we're pretty close.

24:33 And so when you talk about like didn't you work there school to when you're in school at least one job?

24:42 From high school when I was 15. Is there a job that you think you learn the most from?

24:49 Oh.

24:52 I don't know. Well, then we a job I've done for any length of time was real estate and I've learned. I mean I've learned a lot about people different people. I've enjoyed it. I don't I mean other people I think your mom likes that I I really loved it. When I was in the heart of it was it was it was always a challenge I like challenges and it changed I don't like repetition. So I know that I couldn't do the same that guess that's why I didn't like a secretarial it was repetitious was the same thing over and over again and real estate. I've just met so many interesting people.

25:29 I'd say 90% of the people were really nice and it'll treated me while on piano.

25:37 That one I think.

25:40 I always think to I don't know like when I worked at Tates, there's like these weird lessons. I feel like I learned.

25:46 Just cuz like even though the scooping ice cream at just like is like it when people to come in Mad I'd like why you mad you're literally going to get a scoop of ice cream like your problems never be worse if it takes a second but like is there a things like from early jobs that I worked at the cenacle, which was a retreat house and I did worked in the mass card section and it was mostly high school kids on Saturday and Sunday during the week if you work she has a women but they were pretty fun too. And it was pretty Lively and then dinner with an addiction is

26:24 Well, it was like when they would.

26:28 Hippity prayers and they would hold up. The plant Sacrament was a big deal, but we could get out of work clothes the theater 20 minutes and then sometimes if you run the phone, they think that you were none and they say sit well because they were calling the Santa Claus see it act like really good and then some of the background with you making funny noises and you start blasting out it was it was fun that that was kind of a funny job when I do not know seriously. I don't know it was just like the thing to do and made me feel better about it. But I think so much has changed like we talked about on the train kind of it's just strange. Let's I'm not sure. What do you think that the difference between that and now is

27:26 Back then is your father said Catholic guilt and I like you you have to go but it was just like all my friends. Everybody went it was like it was a gathering it was Community like you like and that's what it was. It was Community because you knew everybody it was always packed. It was all your neighbors out your friends anybody. You hadn't seen you see them, you know and you staying around after we went first move to Downers Grove when we were in the old church, remember Grandpa and I would stand around after church and just be talking everybody you knowing

27:59 Not that way anymore. I don't think as much people are kind of on their way and that everybody's going

28:08 So I think the difference.

28:11 What's like if you could see like in that not us daily the church, but just like any sort of like a place where people gather like, what do you hope to see in that kind of space? Like I don't even know Kate. That's a hard one because

28:29 I guess I don't go to places where you necessarily meet people meet new people like you do like I wouldn't go to Avenue. I mean I might go to a restaurant but that's with friends. I think the biggest thing I have with Community is probably

28:47 People at work some of the people work like we have wine time once a month, which is just a lot of the women getting together bring in a bottle of wine and have an appetizer sent. You just stand around to chat talk to someone about real estate some just one, you know, and then my movie and dinner group that's that's a really very cohesive very close group and care about each other. I think very deeply when I was sick in Florida this year. It was amazing. I got cards from every one of them phone calls. They sent me flowers. It wasn't just like one card. I got like several cards from quite a few of them and it was just made to feel like they really cared, you know about me. I have never had that experience with this group because I'd always been fine, you know, nothing major happened in my life.

29:47 And I know I had asked you this before but like I said, like is there a group of people that you that you are a part of that you have felt closest to would you say it's your move group are like my friends my movie group probably because some of the people in their group, I'm really good buddies with and then that High School group. I'm not as close with but there's a few on there that I thought that I could probably call if I need it to not all of them but one or two of them that I could call in and I when they were also for the most part very caring when I was sick, they sent flowers and I got cards got phone calls from most of them. So you just kind of

30:32 I guess I was on the receiving and I've always been on the giving end so that I kind of know now.

30:39 Hi what you should do more than I did before. Is there something that someone said to you from like of your friends in that time that stuck with you that you're like I'm going to remember that to pass that kind of a couple of what the hell.

30:54 What is a quint believes when it happened? So I got several of those which sticks out in my head because it was just funny written on a card or text message.

31:05 Yeah, that's funny is that that's probably more like sticks out just because it was some levity and in a funny situation even ran my hairdresser piece when I called to cancel an appointment that I was supposed to go to.

31:23 His son took it he works. He runs the front and I'll send a few minutes later. I get the phone call and I know it's from Ron and it gets on the phone. What the hell?

31:34 Welder what to tell you run?

31:37 Play it's every stations with people like that because it was not expected as you well know.

31:45 Is it like obviously like that's a big experience to how do you think that like do you think that that changed your perspective after having a heart attack? Like I still sometimes can't believe it. Yeah, it's it's still somewhere in my head and it's like just can't really have have to have happened and I still have to figure out what I want to do because

32:09 But now I guess this is most hospitals. Anyway, they can be safe and Uncle Wally had one from when he had his heart surgery 30 years ago or more and they give you a pillow be shipped to hold it against your chest so that you have you don't like when you cough you don't hurt this the incision or anything and my heart surgeon wrote something about he was he was amazing that

32:37 Something like what are you going to do with your new heart now and I like what how are you going to use it? And I have haven't figured that out yet. But that's what I'm working on.

32:49 Do you have any ideas? No, I just know it has to be with younger people. I know I can't do old people. I've been around too many in the last few years and it's just not not my calling but I'd like to do something with children that I don't think it is school. I don't know. I've got it. I've got to figure it out.

33:10 It's coming eventually you could give like a lesson like as if there is like a lesson that you could continue to pass on to two children or to your grandchildren are just children in general. What would it be?

33:24 Live life to the fullest truly only get to live once and didn't want to have regrets. So if you think that you want to do something like you going to New York.

33:36 It would probably regret if you had not done it. So I bet I think it's probably really important obviously live an honest life because you have to be true to yourself in order to

33:51 Be true to anybody else or to be good to anybody else.

33:57 And always to try to be good to people I guess it's best. You can can't beat everybody, but I don't

34:06 Exercise

34:09 Okay. Well stone cakes.

34:13 I feel like I've asked in my thoughts. I feel like a nice way that I asked you.

34:23 I'll be there.

34:25 I don't know. I don't like that.

34:29 What's the one of the worst things you ever did as a kid? You're too young.

34:36 What's the worst thing you did as a kid? Oh, tell him my brother. Will you I was probably four or five and we lived in this house were with the ground floor was somebody had an apartment on the second floor. So was a full flight of stairs up and Uncle Mike and I were on the front porch. And that was when Superman was popular with him told him he could go first in the cell tricycle didn't have any in and they any handle grips. God knows how we over and Uncle Mike Ashley was going to tell that story when Grandpa grandma died and he decided he didn't because he was afraid people would think that

35:18 You should have reported to DCFS or something for letting us play on the front porch by herself. But everybody played in the front, you know, it was not a big deal to be out front and you know, nobody was afraid. Yeah right now where you would never leave your kids out like that.

35:41 What other questions do you have kids?

35:49 There's anything good here.

35:53 That when I answer who were your front favorite relatives and why my aunt Chase I ready answer this. Who's your favorite relative?

36:08 Oh.

36:13 What about

36:25 Did you find one there? But I think it's probably relevant. When was the last time you cried and why I don't know. I don't I don't cry very often. I know the last time I cried because it was sad but not real sad Grandma.

36:46 But you know, it would be different if she hadn't been sold.

36:53 What was its did you share any stories at her?

36:56 Service when I don't remember because it was short because wishes to our visitation and it wasn't really because by the time they got everything set up people were coming in and I was looking I was kind of in charge I was looking for people like I had to find the vocalist and give him a his money and find somebody else and it was just kind of and then people were coming. So it was

37:26 I'm sure we shared stories with I know K and Mike and I did because when we went to have Katie's to

37:34 Was it before the funeral or after the funeral? We were I was at her house several times, but after I think we were, you know going through some stuff and pictures and it was just kind of

37:45 Interesting, you know to look at the old pictures and go. Oh my gosh look at and I'll

37:52 Other stories that like comes to mind right now for her.

37:58 I think what came to mind was my cousin Kathy Webster who couldn't come to the funeral because she had a vacation planned and I said to her don't don't even think about it and her kids are giving her words. I can't remember some old Pebble Beach. She and her husband are golfers and the kids are given it to her and they had planned this trip to Pebble Beach and stay there but she sent the card and it was what you know, Uncle Mike it said and is in a little eulogy or whatever that Grandma tried to treat people.

38:33 Equally, you know, she didn't really care who you were and Kathy had written something about that. And then she was talking about the part of my mother was like parties from like parties. She had a party. She always wanted us to have parties for them. Like we 25th anniversary of 50th when they move to Arizona. We had a Anna we just have parties and she remembers that we didn't have a finished basement. Our house was nothing special to remember that all the pop and beer pop in particular was in the big sanitary, you know, the tubs give one in your base with sides to it and she remembers like we didn't have a dining room. So they move there were two bathrooms on the first floor in a really small kitchen my parents would move the furniture in my brother's room, which wasn't all that one side and put the table in there. So there is some place that you know, what card table and she just remembers that nothing was ever really fancy, but it was better than any dining room because why I said fun, yeah.

39:33 Fun person that I remember

39:37 I think that's what was there a best party she threw through.

39:50 Grandma never liked to stand in one place and we're all waiting for him to get it. That's when you there was no security and we were waiting for him and she decided she wanted to go to the bathroom or go get a drink or something that a drink drink but in a like a drink of water and sea mist and coming off the plane.

40:07 How long has he gone for he was gone for he was there at the same time Grandpa was there? Okay, so it was really ugly. He was there he wasn't there earlier. I don't remember is the year was the longer she spent there and she messed up she missed him yet. And then she had a big party made a big party at the house. She invited everybody. So thank you for sharing your stories with me. If you for inviting me. This has been a very nice experience. It's always fun to be with you though Katie. You are a joy in my life as I am very thankful for the many stories that you've shared over the last

40:49 Yeah, it's been fun. And you're you are a lot like your mother.

40:55 I don't know. She was quite as adventurous as you though.

40:58 But then have different time different life and I hope that

41:08 The next few years in particular are what you want and you find what you want and you're some of your dreams come true because screaming is good. Thanks. You can't tell have a fun life without a few dreams.

41:24 Well, thank you. Okay, I don't know what else.

41:30 Well, thank you Katie. You're welcome. I love you. I love you, too.