Let’s get to know Mack!

00:02 Hey, Mom. Thank you for joining me today. I got a few questions for you. I'm beginning to know you a little bit better. What was it like growing up in Michigan?

00:16 So I have to say growing up in Michigan, or I will say growing up in Detroit, I lived in the house with both my parents and three siblings. My parents were very strict, especially my mother. And I would say we had a pretty structural household. We went to private school. We lived in a nicer neighborhood. Sometimes when people hear Detroit, they assume that because of its Detroit, that it's just a bad area. We lived in a really nice neighborhood. Our grandparents lived around the block from us. We had a really good neighborhood. And I wouldn't say my time. I would say my time in Detroit was pretty good.

01:21 Okay, so since your time was pretty good in Detroit, what was your relationship like with your parents growing up?

01:29 I had a decent relationship with my father until he passed in my 11th grade year. He passed. We were really pretty close. My mother, again, going back to her being strict. Me and my mom didn't always see eye to eye as a kid. I was her baby of four children.

01:56 So do you feel like y'all were mumpheads a lot?

01:59 Yes, we did, because my mother was very strict. It was kind of her way, for sure. Or the highway. Yeah, I mean, she definitely showed that she cared in a lot of ways. But of course, when you're a kid, you don't think about those things as just, oh, I want to do it this way, but parents want you to do it a different way. So. But, you know, as we got older, relationship changed over time.

02:29 Okay, so previously you said you were the youngest of three siblings. How would you describe your relationship with your siblings?

02:41 The relationship with my siblings, we were pretty close. I mean, every household has arguments, and, you know, we fight, we fuss. My brother was the only boy, so he was in a house with three girls. We did a lot of fun things. I do miss those childhood days. We played outside. We did childhood. You know, we did kid things. And we were close for the most part. We were pretty close. We had a good time together.

03:21 Definitely saying that to say, growing up. Did you play any sports in school?

03:29 I did. When I was younger, I played basketball. And in third and fourth grade, I played basketball. I played basketball. I did cheerleading. I did golf. Actually, I forgot about that. I played golf. That was in high school, golf. But it was fun. I don't know that I would call this a sport, but dance, we were. I mean, I guess you could say it was a form of sport we were in the gymnastics, ballet and modern dance.

04:16 Okay. Growing up in high school, would you describe yourself as a popular kid or someone who just went around about his day, about their day?

04:26 I would have to say I was pretty popular. I went to two different high schools my ninth grade year, I went to school. You had to be tested to get into Cass, which was a really good school, one of the top three schools of Detroit. I went there. And because of me having older siblings, I knew a lot of the older people. So when I was in ninth grade, I knew a lot of the seniors because my sister, your aunt Margo, she was a senior at a different school. But a lot of our friends that went to elementary school were seniors there. And so I kind of felt like I could stump with the big dogs, you know, with the older folks and hang out with them, because I knew a lot of the older ones. And then when I got over to the other school, I ended up graduating from where I would say the popularity came in. I did hair in school, so I did hair in my younger days. And so a lot of people, when they would know me, they knew me from doing hair. So I was pretty popular. I'm a very social person. I kind of got along with everybody. So, yes.

05:44 Okay, seeing it. I'm not your only child and you had a few kids at a young age. What was it like having kids at such a young age?

05:57 Well, I had Tenel and Tenel at 18. I got pregnant young my senior year. I got pregnant young. To be honest, it was. I was scared in the beginning, going back to with my mom, not having the best relationship with my mother. I didn't know how to tell her. I was afraid to tell her because we didn't have the best relationship. And I wasn't sure how she was going to respond. So I actually asked your Auntie Margot to tell her because I was afraid to tell her. And so she told her. And in the beginning, my mom was, oh, you gotta get out. You can't live here. She didn't want me at the house. So it caused a lot of friction between us. But with that situation, getting put out at 17 years old, it helped me become the person I am today. I gained independency at 17 years old. I moved out of home and never went back. It was hard in the beginning, it was hard. I didn't know what I was doing because not only was I pregnant with one kid, I was pregnant with two. So having twins at 18 years old, it was hard. But I did Have a lot of support from your dad and his mom. So they made it easier than what I thought it would be.

07:38 Okay, so my father. How did you meet my dad?

07:47 In the neighborhood. I was sitting on the porch with my cousin who's from Chicago. She used to come back and forth every summer. Me and my cousin were sitting on the porch and we had new neighbors that moved across the street from us. And the gentleman that came over had hollered across the street and asked me and my cousin if we knew the guy that lived there. And before I knew it, they came over. He came over, started talking to us, and later on that evening, he came back over and we hung out together. And that's how I met him. But coincidentally, remember, I said I was doing hair when I was younger. Coincidentally, I didn't know this. It may not even be relevant, but I knew his mother before I knew him, because I had been doing his mom's hair and didn't even know that was his mom or sister whose hair I had been doing before, you know, and quite coincidental, I ended up meeting her son. So.

09:00 Okay, thank you. Growing up, you did have two parents in the household. So what did that look like? So did that open you, like, to a marriage or anything?

09:12 Yeah, I mean, growing up, I. Truthfully, all of my family were two. You know, it was two parent household. I didn't really know anything different. Even the friends and that that I went to school with, especially in elementary school, my grandparents, both my grandparents, you know, my grandpa and grandma were in the house together. So I always saw a replica. And to me, having two parents in a household, I think I looked at it as an easier found a better foundation. Don't get me wrong, my parents did not have the best relationship. I remember seeing them argue and fuss. You know, they would do, you know, do it behind closed doors, but we could hear, you know, them arguing and that. But my dad was the workaholic. You know, my dad, he. I always constantly saw him work and having them both in the house. My mom, she worked too. But sometimes she. Because of my mother's attitude, she would lose jobs, and she kind of was on a job, off a job. And so my dad carried the weight of the family. But I do appreciate having two parents in a household. It did make me want to have that. You know, I did want to get married and, you know, had those dreams of getting married and, you know, having a happy, big family like them. Did I think I was gonna have four kids like my mom? No. But quite coincidental. It happened. And so, yeah, I would say yes. Having two parents in a household made me feel like, you know, that was. That was how you set an example, you know, in the foundation. And, you know, I looked up to both my parents in the house. So, yeah, okay.

11:19 Looking up to your parents, did. Do you think your career now had anything to do with, like, what your parents did growing up?

11:29 I don't want to say so much what they did, but due to certain life situations, it made me go into this in that direction. You heard me say my dad died when I was 16. So in 11th grade. My father died at 16. I had a lot of loss as a kid. I had a brother that died when I was in sixth grade.

12:00 I'm sorry to cut you off, but if you could do me a favor and go into a little depth about what do you mean as you had a lot of loss growing up?

12:07 That's what I'm getting ready to tell you now. So when I say I had a lot of loss, that's why I was actually getting ready to tell you. Losing close family members. My brother died when I was in sixth grade. One of my brothers died when I was in sixth grade, followed by my brother dying. My dad's father died. My grandpa, he died the year later. Two years later, my grandma died. And then a year later, from my grandmother dying, my father died. So having so many close. I'm sorry, two grandparents died in the same. I mean, my grandfather, my mom's dad died the same year that my dad passed. So five major people in my life had passed within like a five year, five, six year time frame. And so that's what I mean by having a lot of loss. And to go to your question on the reason why I went into that career, the career that I'm in is health. Health. Things were a huge problem in my family. My brother died from a heart attack. My father died from a heart attack. My grandpa, he had. My grandpa Joe, he had a stroke that turned into an aneurysm, which is a bunch of blood clots in the brain. My grandmother, my dad's mother had Alzheimer's. My Uncle Bernard, he had a stroke and was in a coma. So my grandfather, my mom's father, he had cancer. So all of these life conditions, you know, major health conditions, made me want to go into the medical field because I like, hey, is this something we can do better? And if I could be that person, to be more of an advocate for people whose health was bad is what made me want to maybe make a change and just be in that health care arena and be that caretaker. So I know it's a long story of where I said it, but essentially due to so much loss, you know, so many close family members dying from health conditions made me want to go into the medical field.

14:37 Okay, so the current job you have now, what would you describe your position like? How do you like that?

14:46 So my current position, so I work for a government contract. I do VA evaluation. So when veterans, military recipients, they come out of the military, or if they get hurt or they apply for disability or just compensation in general, so I do their evaluation. I travel for work frequently, as you know. And so we see people all over the world. A lot of these people are in rural areas where they can't get to us. They need our help. So we go out and travel to get to them. I do like the position. I like it for a number of reasons. To travel is one of the main reasons I enjoy it, but also because it is we're serving the military and because military have helped us out in so many ways, you know, overseas fighting for our country and that. So I feel like, hey, if I can travel and now help them get the benefit that they deserve. So it's a reward, rewarding, rewarding feeling, you know, helping them out.

16:12 So with that being your position that you're in, what's the hardest part about being away from home so much?

16:18 Being away from you. Being away from my kids, the. I know you guys are independent kids. Kind of how I was a very independent kid growing up, especially losing my father at 16, it made me have to kind of fight for. To kind of be on my own. It made me learn how to be on my own when my father died. But when I'm away, you know, as a mother in general, we worry. We worry about everything. We fuss about everything. So being away from kids for a week at a time, couple days, I never know what could happen and not being here. So that's the hardest part is being away.

17:14 Okay, so being away so much, how do you think that has impacted your relationship with me and my sister? Me and my younger sister?

17:21 I don't want to say it's impacted because you guys are, you know, kind of blooming and doing your own thing now. So I think. I think it's hard to have maybe a close relationship because I'm gone, maybe more distance, but I think that was already within the territory before this position because of you guys. You know, you getting older, teenagers, you want to be with your friends more. You don't Want to be home? You think the streets is life? You want to, can I go here, can I go there? So whether I was here or out of town, I think that takes presidents because that's what you guys want to do. You want to be a kid, you want to hang out. So I think for that, you know, it, it's less time together. But, you know, I don't think it's changed the relationship. You know, I tried to tell you guys I love you even when y'all make me mad. You know, love never changes. But I don't think it changes the relationship. It just, you know, I try now. It's like when I say, hey, on the weekends, we gonna make Saturday our go out day and we do something. So I try to maybe, maybe compensate for when I'm away, you know.

18:51 Okay, so a few years ago, we moved here from Michigan. Four years ago, four years ago we moved here from Michigan. What was the challenge? Moving here from Michigan.

19:04 Leaving my mom, leaving family, that was a challenge. Because we're moving 2,000 miles away. It's not like we can just get in a car and go see auntie Margo or I can go see my godfather. It became a challenge. And I don't want to say it was a challenge. It was more of a leap, you know what I'm saying? It's like that leap of faith is, did I think something would go wrong with it? No, I wasn't. It was that unsurity. I wasn't sure what was going to happen. But the hardest part is just knowing you're leaving family. So, you know, trying to stay connected, you know, Facetiming and phone calls and that. So, you know, you try to stay connected as possible. But at the time when we moved in the top of COVID you know, March, April of 2020, my mom was sickening in the nursing home. So I think that was the hardest part, is that my mom was already ill, already suffering from an illness where she couldn't remember things. And I think being away made me feel like she would never remember who I was being gone. So that was the hardest part.

20:26 Okay, so we moved out here. You, you were in a relationship, you were married. So now that you're on your own, how do you, how do you see yourself? Like, do you see yourself it being harder as like a solo person or.

20:43 It's kind of like a catch 22, if you understand. So with a catch 22, it's like one in one hand is good and then in the other hand is bad. So if you Ever hear that term a catch 22? It's like, it's pros and cons to everything. So financially it's probably one of the hardest things for me financially, but mentally it probably is better. Again, that's where that catch 22 is, you know, having a husband. You know, I had a husband for a number of reasons, and obviously we got a divorce for a number of reasons. So again, that's that catch 22. I think that in the end, whether I wanted the divorce or we wanted to go our separate ways, I think it was the best thing to do. But financially, I would say the financial side of things, probably the hardest part is the financial. But it has also brought out another side of me that was there, but because I was married, I didn't reveal. And that's that me going out and smiling and meeting new people and, you know, traveling and seeing, hanging out. And so it's allowed me to be more of that social person that I used to be. But during the marriage, I couldn't be. So it's like I said, one hand it hurts us a little bit, but in the other hand, it. I gained something behind it.

22:36 Okay, given that you have been married and divorced, could you ever see yourself getting remarried?

22:43 Yes, because I think I was a good wife. You know, I am dating and trying to date now. Is marriage the top of my priority? No. But if it happened, you know, I want something authentic. I want something real. I don't want to feel like I forced the marriage. But, yeah, I see myself being a wife again. The only time is hell.

23:11 Okay, I understand that. Understand that. Is there any place you would love to visit in the world?

23:21 Yeah, I'm actually trying to plan the trip now. I would like to go to Aruba. I just want to do some international things. I've kind of been to a lot of states in general, just in traveling, but Aruba is kind of like on the bucket list. But I'm planning to go to the Dominican in September for my birthday. So, I mean, yeah, I have like bucket lists, but yeah, I definitely want to go somewhere international, travel, you know, see and see in other countries and the way they think they do things. The cost of living is different in a lot of places. But yeah, I definitely want to go there.

24:06 Okay. Given that you are so far away from my older siblings, how do you think that's impacted you guys relationship?

24:17 Well, because they moved out before we moved, you know, they moved in with their grandmother, the twins. So I think in the beginning, you know, I felt like, yeah, we Were distanced because of them moving out the house. But in the last, like, two years, I think we've gotten closer. I talked to them more. They're getting older, so maturity is. Maturity is sitting in with them. But, I mean, obviously, if we were closer, yeah, I'm sure we were in the same state or, you know, closer. Just in general, I think that we would have maybe a better relationship. I don't think we have a bad relationship, but I just think, like, even all of my kids, all of y'all, I think you all. Everybody isolates, you know, in your own way. Do I think you guys do it intentionally because you just don't want to be around me or something? I don't think you all do it intentionally. I just think it just comes with the territory of your age, and, you know, you just. You want to do. You do your own thing. So I don't know that if I was living in Detroit still, if it would have made a difference in, you know, the relationship that we have.

25:42 Okay, growing that. All your kids play sports. Basketball, football, no matter what it was, track. Do you think that's brought you, like, closer to any sports?

25:55 Well, I grew up around sports, so my father and uncle were baseball coaches. My brother, he played baseball. Even though he was in a house full of three girls, we was playing baseball in the backyard with him. So being around it at such a young age made me be involved with it. And then, of course, when I have kids and my first kids are boys, you know, it made me want to put them in a sport. And so I've always had a passion for sports. Football maybe more than anything. Even though I played basketball in third and fourth grade, you know, I think I did it more just to have something to do. But, I mean, I love football more than anything.

26:50 When you first. Like, when you had your first child, like, what was your reaction? Like, how did you feel?

27:01 Well, I didn't just have one child. I had multiple. So when I first found out about them, I was, like, super shocked, of course, because, I mean, I already knew I was having kids young, and then to find out I'm having two at the same time. I was. I was really shocked when I had them. Literally went in for a doctor's appointment to have an ultrasound the day before Christmas. Had no intentions on having them on that day. Day. They weren't due to seven weeks later. But when I went in for that appointment, the doctor didn't like how my ultrasound looked. And so he's, like, came out of the. From looking at The X ray, he came and he's like, you ready? And I'm like, ready for what? He like, we finna have some babies today. And I like immediately started crying. Anybody didn't know me know I cry and I literally immediately started crying because I was like, it's the day before Christmas, I'm not ready. And he's like, well, you know, ready or not, we delivering babies today. And so it was more shocking. I immediately called my mom, you know, and I called your dad. And we had kids that day. So, you know, it was a shock because even though I knew I was pregnant and getting ready to become a mother, reality is everything. When it happens, it's like, but they brought joy to me, you know, it. It changed that. That shock went to happiness and that. So, you know, I felt good about it afterwards.

28:52 A little more recently, you have started working out. So what do you feel like? What is your main challenge about working out?

29:01 Well, I mean, yeah, more recently I started working out. But if you can remember back a few years back, back in 2019, when I first I like needed to do this, you know, I needed to change it around, change my eating habits, my lifestyle around. So I did it then. And then I hit a few roadblocks and I stopped. And now that I'm back doing it, I think when I did it in 2019, it was easier. Obviously that was five years ago and five years ago, adding on five years to my age is harder. You know, it's harder this time. I felt like it was easier for me to lose the weight before, whereas if now I think I'm, I mean, I'm losing weight, but I think it's a little more challenging, just energy wise. I mean, I think I do a really good job working out in that, but it's, it's a little harder this go around, you know, I think it's age, you know, it's. The older you get, the harder things get for you. Your body don't move the same, but, you know, it still feels good to know that I'm able to get up in the mornings and go work out.

30:22 Okay, what was one of the hardest choices you've had to make, like as a parent?

30:33 Hardest choices as a parent? I mean, this becomes, as a parent, as a wife, I would say moving to Arizona, I think that was one of the hardest things for me to do because I took you guys, took you and Mackenzie away from your dad, your grandmother, your siblings, you know, your aunt, your family back at home. So I think that was probably the hardest Thing for me. Not that I didn't think you guys would see him again, but I was worried about the relationship that you all would have with Tenel and Tenel being so far away or the relationship you would have with your grandmother and, you know, your dad. And so I think that was probably the hardest thing for me to up and leave like that. I mean, it's another situation, whether it's relevant, but a court system, court thing that I had going on with your dad. I don't know that we really want to get into details, but I think that, you know, protecting you all, then when I was going through courts with your dad and making sure you guys were in a safe environment, so that was something else that, you know, was a hard thing following through, making sure I was protecting you guys.

32:31 Growing up as a mother of four, like, what is one thing you wish you could have did differently?

32:42 I think with Tenel and Tenel I probably was harder on them. I mean, I was harder on them than I am on you and Mackenzie for a number of reasons. I mean, I'm 18 years old, becoming a mom. I didn't know what to do, you know, so I had to do what I thought is best. And I took my mother's way of parenting because that's what I all I knew. So I was very strict on them. Didn't give them the leeway that I may give you in Mackenzie So I think that, you know, I took my mother, I adopted. I adapted to my mother's way of parenting style. And do I want to say it hurt me or hurt the twins? No, I think it created a good foundation. But if I could change it, it probably would be to not have been so hard on them and so much pressure, you know, I think I had so much pressure on them. Do your work. Do your work. Do your work. Clean up, clean up. You know, sports. I lot of pressure on them. And I think that goes with saying on part of the reason why they moved out at 15 years old, because of the pressure that I had on them.

34:12 Okay, what is something that you're most thankful for?

34:19 Most thankful for? I mean, I have to say life, because I went through some health challenges in the last few years, and having a heart surgery could have went wrong, you know, But I'm thankful that the doctors that did my surgery, you know, they made me be able to still be here for you all. So I'm very thankful for that.

34:54 Okay, so to piggyback off what you said earlier, growing up, you did have kids at a Young age. What was one of the challenges you faced, like, with school, like going into college and ending high school?

35:07 Well, I honestly didn't face challenges. I was an honor roll student. Even getting pregnant young, you know, I was an honor roll student. I graduated on National Honor Society, you know, with like a 3.833 grade point average. So even though, you know, I got pregnant young, I never stopped school. I did things a untraditional way because I did hair growing up. My mother wanted me to go away to school. She wanted me to go to university. Whereas if for me, I didn't care about going to university, my dad used to tell us when we were younger, as long as we got an education, you know, he didn't go to university. So my dad used to just tell us, like, you know, you don't, you know, nothing says you have to go to university. Just, you know, you get your high school diploma, you get an education, and then you work. So for me, I didn't feel like I needed to go away to school. But as time rolled around, I started. I did enroll in college, community college. And I think having kids had made it very challenging to do school, be a full time mother, you know, and be able to try to do school at the same time. So it made it challenging for me to be able to continue to get a degree.

36:41 Okay, so growing up with, like four children, what was your best memory of us with all your four children together?

36:53 I want to say best memory or your favorite memory? I think when we went out of town, we went on vacation and went to Florida. I mean, I did a lot of things with you all. One thing about me is that when you all were younger, we used to always go to Kalahari. So Kalahari was like our favorite place. Y'all, y'all love to swim. And so I think when I see my kids smile, it makes me happy. But we went, I think, to Florida, and you guys had drove. You remember driving the boat? Boats. When you guys were on the lake. Do you ever. Do you remember driving the boat?

37:43 No, I do not.

37:43 Well, I have video in my phone that you guys drove a boat. We all have. Do you remember us going to Florida with Tenel Tenel all of us. We went to Florida and we stayed at that big resort. There's a water park resort. We went to Florida. I think it was like 2019. Yeah, I can't believe you wouldn't remember it, but it was like 2019, like April 2019. We went to Florida and the twins came. Byron and Gabby went, no, I Don't. Wow. Okay. So that was one of my favorite, favorite things was the Florida trip. I mean, but like I said, it's many memories of me taking you all and, you know, going on little excursions to the water park, to Kalahari. And I think it's rewarding when you see your kids happy, you know, oh, I did that. I made, you know, they, they, they having fun. So that's a rewarding feeling. No matter how hard or sacrifice or me having to work extra the next couple weeks, weeks to get the money back, it. The money didn't mean anything because it's like, you know, we're creating memories and having a good time.

39:07 All right, so here shortly, we will be wrapping this interview up. And one. One thing I would like to ask you, is there anything you would like to say to anybody out there or, like, what message you have for, like, the world?

39:20 You know, it's funny you said that, because today I made a face posts. I made a Facebook post about not giving up. And we kind of talked about this. Just even with weight loss, I had made a Facebook post this said, I'm gonna actually read it if we have time.

39:45 We do.

39:46 Okay. I do want to read it. I made this today sitting in the gym parking lot. So I said, public service announcement. I said, In June of 2019, I started my weight loss journey. And I hit. And it has been nothing short of easy. I am not ashamed to say it now after looking back on old pictures. I was nearly 300 pounds when I started to lose weight weight. I lost 87 pounds in one year. I hit roadblocks between Covid, moving across the country, gyms closing up. I said, But I still was able to maintain. Then after all that, I got a divorce, gained 25 of those 87 pounds back due to feeling depressed and having heart surgery, being forced to stop working out. Then less than a year later, having another major surgery and still not able to work out. I got diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder. And after that, I said, enough is enough, Devil, you will not win. Saying this to say, don't ever give up on what you're aiming for. The devil will throw many curveballs at you, the many roadblocks, but it is up to you to continue pushing. So I am not bragging or boasting, only trying to motivate those that need to hear it. Just like I did, look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself, you got this. Go, you got this. And go out and do it big. Another successful workout in the books. So saying that to say when you're aiming for something. Like I said, go for it. Don't. No matter how many things get thrown at you, you gotta go for it. You know, it's gonna always be somebody that says you can't do something. It's gonna always be someone that turns their nose up. But when you have your mindset on something and you know that's what you want, and then my example was to lose weight, and so you just have to stick with it, you know, you gotta push. And so the peak, the push stands for something. You know, I don't know that it's appropriate for the interview, but push. Push until something happens. I'm gonna say something, but if you get my drift, it's a push until shit happens. And so in the end of the day, I push. And whether it's the workout, whether it's maintaining this home, I have, when you want something, made sure that I got what I wanted to do because I never gave up. So you push until it happens. So, yeah.

43:03 All right. So thank you for taking this time out your day to do my interview. I just wanted to wrap things up. Thank you. And it was a great time getting to know Mac.