Lizzy Kelley and Wade Bishop

00:02 My name is Lizzie. I'm 36. I live in Tallahassee, Florida. It is Sunday, November 27th, 2021. And I'm here with Wade. My life Partners. Have a nice conversation.

00:15 Hi, I am reading this card. It says my name is Wade. Bishop. I am 46, your date and my date or different. This says Sunday, November 28th. 2021 what I say 27th. I'm in Tallahassee, Florida and my interview partner is Lizzy Kelley. My domestic partner.

00:36 So, how did we meet?

00:41 My memory of how we met is. When we met at work. We both worked in the Communications Department for the city of Tallahassee. And I was a video producer, and you were working as a PR individual and the group. And I think we worked on some projects are Leon and that's kind of just started hitting it off there or no. I never had Good Vibes and we could have good energy and bounce off each other. And we work really well together. Well on certain projects and discovered a very

01:15 Very workable team type connection.

01:21 Yeah, I agree. And then I remember I have as a graduate intern technically at the time as a student. I was moving all the time, rental 2 rental and right after that we may be known each other three or four months and I was moving into that town house with Courtney one townhouse. So the other one and are movers cancelled at 45. The night we are moving. We had to be out by 7 or 8 a.m. The next day and I called you had not known you that long. I was like, I'm in a bind. I know you're nearby. Can you come help me apartment? And you said, yes. Before I got a friends. Yeah. I got my buddy, and we grab my beater car or buy a little hatchback at the time.

02:21 Google. A space in it. And you said, yeah, I just back it up and we'll start stuff and things in it. And surprisingly, we will it fit a lot of things in that little car and I think we had probably done two or three trips.

02:33 Does a new place and then you had a big piece of furniture or something. Anyway, it was moving aside for me. I had a four door car because like I said, Dan and a two-door cars, and there are only three or four of us.

02:48 And then I remember it was like pretty late into the night like 9 or 10 and I think Courtney was able to trade her Camaro for someone's SUV. We finally got like a vehicle with decent size and we had to move that couch. You are quite a generous person with your time and talents use what you got.

03:19 But aren't we work together for a little while? And then we started dating kind of sort of lightly dating each other for a little while and then we had some pickups and decide to split up for a little bit and then you went and met somebody else from the city and I met somebody else from the city, a city employee populations over 3,000 people. So is low decent pool in your work all the time, you know, so, but yeah, I ended up meeting somebody else becoming a couple them with them, and then you ended up getting married for a little while and both of our situations ended up kind of not working out and then we came back together through, we're still working together. Number one day. You were really upset about something. Need somebody to talk to. So I was listening to you and your problems and you are listening to me in life.

04:19 Relations problems.

04:22 And I think things just kind of said, okay, we're going to try this again, but we're going to go super slow. I'm the one with cold feet on the second pass and I said, no, I'm not going to do this quite that fast. I'm going to get my own place before I do anything else.

04:36 And slow roll it. And and here we are. Nine years later some like that. So we don't have to wait. I guess what. I'll have a concrete beginning, but we haven't worked for us.

04:55 So,

04:57 What's your favorite memory of me?

05:00 My favorite memory. Oh my gosh or a favor. I must say you are.

05:17 Infectious happiness all the time. You're always like positive. No matter what the situation is. Yeah, you have bad days like everybody else, but you find a way to just kind of get up and get through it. And feel like Bob, you know, the Outlook. I think your outlook on things is pretty bright and spirited and that's good.

05:40 My favorite pictures of us on vacations and we are New England trip, was really fine willing to try things that I'm into and you talked me into trying things that you're into. I think that's been the fun part of it to like, we like to do some odd things. Like, when we go to DragonCon Comic-Con type stuff, and you like some of the nerdy things that I'm into just admit, you may not like them but you'll pretend enough to like them for me so you can really dive in deep tell him. And I kind of like a lot of like the story level and just and and you will go into a back catalog and a history of it and the bad person. And I'm just like that was a really good movie connections and things and

06:40 I'm calling in stuff because we're both barely artistic and we approach the costume and costly and stuff in different ways. Cuz I definitely want mine to be very terrible and comfortable and that I can like do fabric paint or iced. My sewing got much better through that and you will definitely do like a bigger bills. Like how can I shake this out of foam? Pits much more sculptural? I like to get into the nitty-gritty and details of a project like that whether it's a costume build or a video project things like that ft photo projects. I got into all kinds of different Hobbies over the years and enjoyed during our time together is seeing your hobbies evolved and your mind is so curious.

07:36 All the time. So, you know how you said, you like my Outlook. I like your curiosity because it will take you so many places and you will just stick with it and follow it down and you watch them really boring. YouTube videos for teaching you about something and I'll be right back and then jump rope that you made me. Those are the I got into woodworking not too long ago. So I think that kind of ties into the pandemic portion of our Q&A. Nothing. Right. This second, but, you know picking up some hobbies and not time and

08:17 Leave work and would working with some of that and I started making things and I had already kind of picked up the hobby of hand, creating rings. And so I started making more rings. So yeah, stuff like, that was pretty fun. I don't know. I'm just glad that you're still around, putting up with me.

08:41 Do we want to ask these questions down the list? Or how do you want to?

08:47 Okay.

08:50 See.

08:57 How is our life together been different than you imagined it would?

09:03 How has our life been different than I imagined? It would would be?

09:11 I don't know. I wasn't really sure what to expect when we started dating. I honestly didn't know how long we were going to meet dating and I don't know how long we're going to be doing Mei. Yeah, I think we're both good about being a realist and saying it. Like this is where we are right now. I'm living the moment at least trying to do our best at giving them all night. And yeah, we have a forecasted intention of having a future together and I'm all the way, you know.

09:37 So, I don't know. I never had an idea where we would be or what we will be doing, but I thought that would be having fun. And I like the idea of us traveling and I want to do that more soon as that easier to to travel after the pandemic.

09:54 Which and I'll hopefully that I'll lighten up although they found that new variant of Omicron. So we'll see what that's about. But how about you, what have you thought there was a chance? That was just like, well, let me finish the first time around, there was a lot more drama involved because I just where we are both at in life and what was going on and are bubbles with in that, you know, with friends and moves and siblings and just all of it. And so the second time around and we have both us and badass. And we look at each other and said, I don't want drama. I'm not in this for drama. I don't want any drama and if you do, if that's what you're about, like, cool, but not for me and we're both very

10:54 And we have held to that throughout. And I think

10:59 And likewise. I didn't really have a vision for how it was necessarily going to go. I was just hoping it would be

11:10 Fun. And

11:12 That would be compatible and that we continue to grow together and we've done that this far and very similarly. I try to be present and grateful for that as we go through it and just, you know, take the seasons as they come in life. I think so often when I'm working on a project to specifically, I'm always looking towards the Finish Line. The goal like, I got to get it done and it has to be a certain way but this is different because your relationships with people or your friendships. I think it's more about the journey and living the day of and not just be like, well, okay, we will get this place next month or next week or whatever. It is. Like well, yeah, but today's the day you're with that person. And so that's I've learned to recognize and appreciate that more over the time that I've been around you and then just in general and getting older too, but

12:06 Cuz we do have an age gap between us that I think it's been about but I never do, I don't always think about but I'm appreciative.

12:17 That calms me down my age now versus like if I was, you know.

12:25 Or will, you know, younger than I am that much younger than I am? Now. I think I didn't have much patience. I didn't have much understanding, and hopefully, I'll have just as much more, you know, what decade or 20 years from now. Hopefully it continues to grow. Hopefully, I lose my mind around as I've tried to implement like a gratitude practice in life and that extends to how then I look at us and our life and what's going on in it.

13:02 And you could be in the middle of just a storm, but there's always going to be something to be grateful for in their interview you get on hooked onto an idea and you kind of stick with it and

13:20 That's another thing. I think that works pretty well with us, you know, we both going to bounce off each other pretty well.

13:27 Let me try one of these questions here. We'll go to the the pandemic since that's pretty hot topic right now.

13:33 We don't have to.

13:41 I see.

13:44 I guess I'll just kind of makes a couple of these questions up. What was what have been, some of the biggest challenges for you during the pandemic?

13:55 Not seeing my family was probably the largest one. I've lived away from them for so long, but they've always been a few hours and I say

14:07 Mom and dad had been four to five hours away, which was doable. We could go and see them for a weekend. We could do a holiday with them. And so that had been, you know, 15 years of my life, going down, seeing them every couple of months. See, my grandparents. Maybe the relatives would come down to visit making bigger trips to go out to see, Nate and then having that all abruptly end and having so many trips that we had plan like 2020 was really going to be an epic here for us. We were going to have a lot more. I don't know. We had several other trips planned and it all just went out the window and then it was like you can't even go see them and

14:52 Not seeing them by choice and then not seeing them because you can't was very different and challenging and then with Mom and Dad up and moving to Montana. So abruptly. It was like even is this starts to wane like that option is gone. And so we really are just kind of on an island here. And so that was that was difficult. The transition with were really didn't bother me that much because my work is all the time anyways, and I'd gotten used to sometimes having to do it, not at the office. And I was back and forth between physical and remote so much. Anyways, I didn't really go full remote for a solid length of time. Maybe a couple of months.

15:36 So really the challenge for me came with that extended family and those trips to get out of the day today.

15:45 Honestly, being at home, I kind of started to enjoy. It was a slow pace. You got to time to breathe time to think. No expectations from people. No judgment, if you like. Nope. Can't do that. Can't see you. So I'm waiting in your pajama bottoms mind and body, soft mindset of, I'm still professional feeling and looking so that now on the back end of the, the whole pandemic and being in the office full-time, again, that me and my shoe game really took a hit of shoes. When I start going back to the office. I just kept handing you them to fix. I've become the cobbler in the household.

16:41 Yeah, thank goodness. It's saving his money.

16:44 I think something that I appreciated during the couple beers when it comes to covid and how it's impacted things as well. First of all for me personally. It hasn't really affected my work which I'm incredibly thankful and fortunate. For, I know a lot of people can't say the same or they let you know, where laid off or loss of jobs or, you know, so many things that we were incredibly fortunate. I've been in the field of work that I can still say that. Yeah. I still do 20 shoots a week, or, you know, 10 clients a week or whatever. So, it's been, it's been good. But more so than work for me was how we were able to relate to each other in our space.

17:33 During more at home times because there was a time, a few years ago when I

17:40 And what I mean by the Save-A-Lot is going to go back a little bit. And to say that when I worked at the city where we met before I worked there for 13 years and when I left, when I go out of my own, I wasn't sure what that transition was going to look like. And I thought that I'd be going off to a different job or moving. Maybe even being remote in other cities for a while or traveling more and I was kind of afraid about what that would do to our relationship or connection. Is it wasn't something? I was used to didn't have something that solid. I guess you could say.

18:15 So when things sold out to me was more of them, something I was more aware of his like our connection and are more at Home Comfort level and we didn't drive each other crazy and we didn't, you know have any like we didn't waver the needle all the way to 0 or all the way to town and kind of like that always fell right in the middle and we get along just fine and everything worked out. So that to me.

18:44 The pandemic tested our relationship in that regard more so than just a work or, you know, we can't see friends. How did it affect us? Cuz if we can become tighter together, then we can be stronger, not only for each other, but we can be stronger for the friends who don't have that. So when it comes time, for our other friends, like

19:08 You know, Joe and then Stephen and friends like that that right now are kind of going through some alone time. You know, when we have those moments where we can be with them. We can be like, hey, we have that kind of experience with each other that we can be supportive for them too. So that's one way of looking up from least from my perspective but interpersonal. Yeah, we were together more than we probably ever been and we couldn't go anywhere or do anything really aside from like take a long drive and I'm right back.

19:44 We did just fine. It was a mini couples, didn't survive it as well. And we also don't have children at home and we had an elderly pet, granted, that could have caused more hiccups, but we both just kind of developed an even deeper Comfort level. I think with one another, or able to be there for each other when we needed to but recognize when the other needed space and I've just kind of evidence load, but not really swung that pendulum. Like you said, it wasn't 0 or 10. It always just kind of stayed in the middle of the river, get caught up on some projects. We've wanted to do two and some new hobbies and stuff. You're doing your yoga Channel. And I'm doing some other hobbies in the garage and rebuilding my old sports car and stuff like that. You have the pan to make did change that drastically for me since I had really been teaching in person yoga classes.

20:40 And had really picked up in the town of winter, I guess of 2019 to 2020 and then had my studio class that one day a week and I was teaching other places and March had to end it all and had to go virtual. And now I've been teaching virtually for a year-and-a-half, which is a different experience cuz you can't see the students. You can't feel their energy. You don't know how they're doing that encouragement that you can offer in person X. Well, like it's been a hugely different experience. But it also then has propelled me to start that YouTube channel and see how that goes, which I probably never would have done if I had not been forced to start teaching online.

21:24 Yep, good stuff. So how would you like to be remembered? I don't know. Honestly, I know that but, you know this about me is my

21:38 Our culture here. And especially, Western culture is all about, you know Legacy. And it's all about lineage and it's all about my kids and my grandkids. And I'm not saying that. That's a generic statement for everybody. But it seems like that's pretty brought among us. A lot of Americans. I would rather just will have my time remembered as I'm here and it's time for me to go. Then the people that care about me will remember me the way they want to? But I don't need a statue or a building or a namesake even, it's like me the way you want him over me, but I tell you one thing, I'm hoping to make happen is if, and when that day comes, that people don't get all sad and weepy about my desk, but they just have a good time. And swap horror stories, drink a lot. A lot of good food.

22:29 That's what I want. Nice as your significant other. Who would then be there? But if your friends get really drunk then, they can't rely on me to help him cuz I should be in morning. So you already know it. But

22:55 When you go you want to be you either want to go on a viking funeral, where you're on a raft. Pushed out into a lake and caught with a lit fire arrow will after you pass. But if you're a slow with the class, mom, your mom wants to be put on an ice floe if she's lost her mind. She is your mom with you, put on a nice blow and pushed out into the water for the polar bears.

23:42 I know lots of mine. If you'd like to know the gist of it. The remind me that it helps the Next Generation. Maybe they can learn something. Then, cremate me, then take those cremated remains. You keep if you if you want, I don't care. I know you did. I won't know what it on. A tiny wrapped a little wooden Viking ship. Send me out into a body of water shooting with a flaming arrow. At this point. My funeral service should be happening and I want everyone to sit in a semi-circle or stand around said, like, I don't care from those, who knew me from the youngest age, to those who met me at my older age and then they can tell the story of my life through their memories of me around the circle. We did that for my Uncle, Don. It was beautiful and against those who want to speak an opportunity and those who don't talk to me not to and kind of just spreads out the thing. There's no one person talking because I'm not religious there for having like a priest, stand up and say,

24:42 These words would be meaningless because they wouldn't really know me. So you'd have the people who did Nomi tell my life. Story flaming, arrow out to the boat. It goes up. Everyone remembers it. It's a spectacular time and then you go eat some good food afterward. Well, yeah, I know right? They're going to be like trying to shock and amaze people which they said it is just going to be fireworks. Are you afraid of dying? I just asked you a question.

25:23 Yes, and no would be my answer. Am I afraid of like a calm passing in my sleep know and I hope that I am wicked old. When that happens. Like, I'm going to make it to at least a hundred, wicked, wicked and just quietly go in the night. Now, am I afraid of being like murdered? Yeah, no one wants that. I don't want a violent death because I feel like that energy would stick with me and then might come back with me in a future life. And I don't want to drive that with me. I just want like a real nice quiet, peaceful, and I don't want it to be, traumatizing to me or other people, but I am afraid of dying.

26:04 I would like to be lying if I said that, everybody isn't afraid of dying. I think there's a certain amount of fear and everybody when it comes to dying, but I think it would be less. Fearful if I knew I was dying in a way that was protecting. Somebody else that in my eyes deserve it. I know that's a really harsh thing to say, but

26:27 Some people I don't think those are but I don't know. I don't think I'd be afraid of death. I think I'm not afraid of dying. If it went in a way that was to protect somebody else to other human beings.

26:54 In our current climate and this year, I don't think anybody can. Honestly, answer that question. I think we've

27:02 Not without sounding glass empty.

27:12 I think.

27:15 That we have forgotten a lot about what it is to be there for other people, and culturally, we've kind of slipped a little bit. We've found ourselves.

27:28 With a little bit of a magnet to our moral compass, and we've lost the needle a little bit flying. Driving sailing through the fog if you will and

27:41 I don't know. I think that's something that we need to work on as a species. I think there's I think there's certainly a percentage of people on the planet that try to do that. And I'd like to think that, you know, we were part of that.

27:58 It becomes harder and harder everyday, that kind of figure out like where is that?

28:04 Where is that piece?

28:07 That makes any sense a little.

28:11 Then quite answer it, the way that you didn't get an answer the way you wanted me to answer it. But that's how I how I interpret it. How do you how do you interpret it?

28:25 Are obligations as human beings other human beings? I definitely fall back to that Golden Rule of do unto others as you would have them do unto you. And I think if we put ourselves in other people's shoes a bit more and had a bit more sympathy and empathy that it collectively would help us all rise up a bit more.

28:52 Not that everyone should have to do that at every moment and no one's perfect and will be able to do that. But I think it's the nice thing to strive. For to just be a decent good human to ourselves and to others and I think that to ourselves part kind of gets forgotten too because if you're being a good human, you should include yourself in that. Be nice to yourself or Our Own Worst. Enemy is all the time and if we can't be nice to ourselves, how can you be nice to other people? I agree with all of that. I think one. If you were to ask me to add an addendum to my answer, I think that would be a, what you said. I believe all those things. I just

29:35 What is your proudest moment in your life?

29:40 My proudest moment. What are you most proud of I guess?

29:50 The thing I'm probably most proud of is my resilience.

29:56 Over the years, being able to Rise Up from pretty much any Challenge posmyway and to do it in a way that makes me happy and proud at the end of the day.

30:11 I would say my resilience is probably what I'm most proud of. So, what about you?

30:17 Most proud of.

30:20 Man.

30:24 Hard. I try to be pretty humble. I don't know.

30:31 I know he has like it's like I don't matter in the world so much too in my world. Yeah, I probably could not enough to directly into that, but I could be a probably a little bit more aware self-aware, a little more self.

30:54 How do I use the word self-love? I guess but I probably need to be more like a I'm okay. I'm good. I'm not I'm going to right guy, but I think sometimes I just need to be like no it's about the rest of the everybody else. You know, I don't really unimportant, but I'm not as important as the as the mission to make other people better sometimes.

31:15 So proud of thing in my life to go back to that. I got to give you an answer, right?

31:23 I guess the fact that I've I wouldn't say the most the most proud of thing, but I will say that it was something, I've been proud of her. Awhile. Is that my my past was not very little shaky growing up with some very elderly father and an alcoholic mother and that, you know, my path could have went down that road. I could have fallen into drugs and alcohol and then done some things. Maybe I wouldn't have wanted to do in society, but I was proud enough to

31:54 I guess mentally kind of be awake from that and say, do not do that. I'm not going to do that. I was proud of myself for taking the chance to step out of that situation and go out of my own and say no I got a different paths. I'm going to something else, something better. So you want to tell us a little bit about who your parents were in the future. I mean for those we know that story is but I guess this is for others as well. Yes. What did you ask me for your parents are kind of the unusual. Couple in the sense that my father was a much older man of other kids. My age growing up. He was

32:51 60, when I was born 65. And my brother was born in my mother was almost thirty years younger and he had five wives and 12 kids. And he was born in a different country. Under one name and died in this country under a different name. So, they're little bit up crazy story there. But so, yeah, it was a little tough to get around that has a quote-unquote normal. Upbringing of all the kids and the other kids were like grown adult. But yeah, it was a large gap and you don't even know all of them. He told me. Like, if I pass them on the street, I would not know. My oldest brother. Gerald passed away a few years ago and he died of old age and he was in his late. Seventies, maybe even early eighties. I think I didn't know him that well, but I just heard from others that

33:51 You know, that's and then your one sister, her son, who is still older than you reached out. Savannah. Susanna have to look at the information. But there's a, it's a no. It's a different Dynamic, a family.

34:10 Which is interesting cuz mine is like the most cookie-cutter the kind of formula for today's families is or the last 20 years. Has kind of been like the the broken family, you know, it's not it's not typically the mother father of the daughter of the son in the dog and a white picket fence. It's something is going wrong, but your parents are still happily married. They got you and your brother, and then they've got kids. And I mean, that's that's been that's a unique story in itself as well, you know, doesn't fall into the norm, but it's pretty, which makes it extraordinary. But

34:53 What do you want talk about covid or do you want to talk about something else?

35:05 Is there anything? Well, kind of licking. I'm going to kind of makes a match a little bit. Is there anything?

35:14 About us that you would want to say to us in.

35:20 Future.

35:23 Like where we were where we are and where we'd like to be. Okay, so

35:29 Where we are is really good. We're very content and possibly to content. If we watch a movie on Friday night. And that's that's date night. When I'm versus, we used to go out a lot. Let me know if you're in there. See, friends. So, I think we're at right now is very content and comfortable, and that is something to be incredibly grateful for. And so, I hope we always look back. And

36:05 Recognize that and touch back on that when times do you get Rocky? Because when we started this,

36:14 We both knew a lot of drama. There was a lot of drama going on, in our lives, both the first time around and the start of the second time.

36:25 And we were able to come together. And so I like that. So I hope future us continues to be grateful and be kind to one another and to give one another room to grow. I think that's been really key is sad. If you have a harebrained idea about this thing, you want to try and do ants like ooh, yeah, I do it. Let's try it and likewise. I'm like, hey, I want to go run a half marathon and you just let me go. Okay. Maybe you should go take a walk and get ready for that. Future us continues to be as kind and supportive.

37:05 What about you? I hope to, I hope.

37:11 I hope to.

37:16 Continue to recognize the old cliche and adage of life is short and it's something that sinks in with me every day. You'll do. I get about taking up drinking to do things more. I didn't do that for a long time. You know, I just kind of played it safe and but I think you and I together with him. Will you take chances little bit more? And we do things more? And I think that we need to probably continue to just be like, hey, let's just do this thing and if it doesn't work, it's not a big deal. We know, is it's a, you put it behind you and move forward. And that's something I think that sometimes we both struggle with a little bit here and there is taking James has to do things. But

37:59 We need to be doing that more, is the saying, like it's fine. Let's just take a leave here and there and if it doesn't work, it doesn't work. And if it does then we learn from it. And, you know, continue to do, bigger better things. Just a place to grow from. It's probably not going to be right the first time we do it, so I can you fall off the horse. Is it? Get back on? Let me, you don't just say anymore.

38:37 Any last thoughts or whatever. So if this is going to be a memorialized if I was saying something to like future Generations, our future listeners, I probably say, do what makes you happy and what sparks curiosity in your heart and don't necessarily worry about what society says is the correct path or the path, or what? The Norman, the averages, I think part of why I got married was it was that time of life and everyone is doing it and yeah, sure like this is the path now aren't wrong? For me. It didn't work. But you have to think through those things for yourself. We've made the choice not to have kids, that is not the norm. And but it's what works for us. It's what's best for our lives. My aunt has been with her partner well, over 40 years. They've never legally gotten married because that's not what works for them. Doesn't mean they're any less committed.

39:36 I mean I went to college you did like a two-year you don't necessarily need college to make a great career. I'm just saying you're a lot of things that's like this is what everyone else is doing. Doesn't mean you have to do it for the shoulds.

39:50 Shouldn't run your life.

39:53 It's a good way to say it. The shreds shouldn't run your life.

39:59 And he loves cookies.

40:01 Oh, yeah, if you can read, you can cook.

40:05 Eat a lot of cookies, mom's great advice on life.

40:19 Well, I guess that wraps us up today. Thank you so much for having this conversation with me while you're welcome. Thank you for talking with me date Sunday at the library. Hopefully, we get to do more things with friends and out in public in the next year or two, hopefully.