Michael Glunt and George Algozzina

00:02 Okay, my name is Michael Klein. I'm 58 years old today's Friday, June 24th 2011 wear in my home in St. Petersburg, Florida. And this is my good friend George.

00:17 And my name is George Augustina. I am 52 years old books 53 to this year. I forgot 53 years old. Today's date is Friday, June 24th, and can Town years dog years. Definitely location. We are here in St. Petersburg, Florida at the home of Michael Blunt. And Michael is my very dear and best friend.

00:47 So Michael, you have had probably one of the most unique and interesting lives if anybody I know so tell me and tell us what was one of the happiest moments in your life. I would say probably the happiest moment that I can remember is about 6 years ago seven years ago. I had surgery on my knee. I was told I would always be in a wheelchair. I had a real bad infection and ate the muscles that ate the tendons and I was just told I got to be wheelchair-bound for the rest of your life and not a person who takes bad news real. Well that way I just had hopefully one day this doctor is going to take this Nike out of his behind because my goal is to move forward and be able to hear pulling sound as he takes it out. And so I did physical therapy for about a year and then

01:45 Within the next two years is when I had joined my first course in a long time and at that moment in time in that first performance in New Port Richey to be in front of all of those people and doing what I wanted to do. I decide I'm back. I finally have my life back and I'm just able to keep going forward because of the thing with that is I went kind of from middle-aged to old age all of a sudden cuz I was just housebound and all that. So I would say that with the happiest moment I ever had and obviously happy moments. In fact, that's sad special times. Also impact us. What about your status moment to biggest fears I ever had in my life where my mother dying.

02:32 And my partner dying and it's just those kinds of things that you just don't know how you're going to handle that till you're in it and in a way that sort of galvanized is you cuz once you faced the biggest things that scare you nothing can scare you after that it just you know, it's like what more can they do to me? Although as time has gone by and I found out they can do quite a lot to you. But still I mean it it sort of gives you an inner peace and strength that you were able to get to the other side of that. So I would say those were there with the saddest X, okay.

03:19 With that said who has been the had the biggest influence in your life. Who would you say has really made it an impact on you. I would say it would be my late partner Scott. I always thought I was sort of a Smart Cookie when I met Scott he kind of said y'all are but you don't really know how to put all of that together. And and one of the things I always think that in life, everything is about focus and balance. You got to figure out what your goals are and then you have to try to balance your life to make sure those things happen. And the thing that I learned from him was the keep your eyes open notice what's going on around you and learn how to focus all that and also to have a bigger dream. Sometimes your dream just isn't big enough for it for what you can do.

04:14 Sort of in he was he was a mentor to me and at it. It's still paying off today. And in a lot of ways, he showed me how to to focus. He showed me how to set goals in my head. And I mean, I'm living in this house.

04:35 He was also big for teaching people to do stuff. They didn't know how to do. So my last year's when I was working some medical records coder. I learned that from him because he ran Clinic sunny and I said, I have a medical background uses, but you can read so if you can read you can do this, you know you I wish you could see yourself the way I see you and have a little more confidence in yourself. So in that, you know, I'm living where I am today and then also being a medical records coder and getting the background then in anatomy and physiology and disease process and things like that has prepare me to handle this whole half of my life now with all the medical issues coming up I wouldn't be able

05:23 Half half the stuff with medical problems is knowing how to go in the doctor and ask the right question knowing what the right question is, and I got all that from him and just because he said, you know you better than you think you are and I know you can do this.

05:39 You talked about the second half of your life and how you've adjusted and learned in and the whole medical records thing and in knowing the right questions to ask about the beginning of your life. We all kind of imagine how our life is going to turn out. How is your life?

05:57 Different than maybe you had imagined it would be

06:00 Well, you know I had always hoped that I would one of the things I want to do back in the 70s and 80s Society was wanting to be a comedian. I used to write jokes. I submitted joke to Jones River. She bought some stuff. I was doing some stand-up at some of the comedies comedy stories around in the area and it was about that time that I found out that I was hiv-positive so that in those days that was 1986 in those days. Everybody told you you're probably going to be dead in two years. So now it's time to have a smaller dream and so

06:41 Came back from bad and that's how I learned.

06:45 To do the rest of the stuff. I have to have a cosmetology license. I did that for a number of years. I was musica Wade student in college. I mean, I've had a lot of different careers over the years the life experiences ago with that. So looking back over the years and thinking about Frank Sinatra's regrets. I've had a few you got any regrets now Excellence proudest moment in your life.

07:15 Proudest moment

07:17 I say I'm probably

07:20 How to say my friends I have a good group of friends who have managed to

07:29 Step up a particular in these last years when I've had a lot of problems and stuff. And that's one of the that's also one of those life lessons that I learned to say that I was always the one that did for everybody else and

07:47 I learned the hard way to have a little humility about things and that your friends sometimes.

07:56 You feel better that you help them. You don't want to ask but sometimes your friends have to be able to do something for you. So they feel better too and and are part of the process of time practicing my friend. Excellent. Excellent.

08:11 Okay, let's go back to Scott. You had mentioned your partner. When did you first fall in love with him? And I met him in 19 July of 1987. I was diagnosed with with HIV December 23rd 1986 2 days before Christmas merry Christmas. And at that point we met and I was you know ring in my hands and doing that. I'm going off to die type thing and it and we met and I didn't want anything to do with anybody and he and he said look, we we could either go and die in a corner by ourselves or we can have a good life together. And you know, I wish we would do that. And once again, he thought he knew better than I did as he did about most things and we ended up having nice 5 years and that's said I also inherited his parents his parents.

09:11 Outback in the garage apartment, so we were sort of the Four Musketeers and the deal was the four of us would always take care of each other and in 1986 with he and I both being HIV who would have thought that I'd be the last one.

09:27 But I very quickly with them.

09:30 In a few short months stopped being the quote-unquote son-in-law and became the sign and and even after he died, we stayed together and manager take care of each other. His mother was great with my mother had the big gay talk with her cuz my in-laws were some of the first of the pflag parents laugh and yeah and they always knew this guy was gay and you know, my mother being a country woman was just bringing your hands without. Oh, it's my fault and what have I done in its and

10:14 My mother-in-law said it down and goes look you shouldn't these are two nice boys. They they have each other. They have good jobs. They take care of their friends. What more would you want for him? And and my mother thought about that my mother got what are we speaking a bottom-line person got to the bottom line very quickly and she was she was fine after that my my father-in-law

10:40 Good-hearted, man the nicest man I ever knew the things that I liked in Scott. He learned from his father and and I learned them to about how to be a man how to be a good man and face your responsibilities and just have to deal with people and that you could be kind and and caring and that doesn't make you less of a man that makes you even more of a man. So I was very lucky to have them.

11:13 So Michael tell me a little bit about your religious your spiritual beliefs.

11:19 I'm not so much for organized churches for say although that said I would tell you that I was born and raised Lutheran and in them, how can I best describe it to you? Try not to get caught doing good and by that, I mean you try to try to have kind of a modesty about things you tried always be quietly supportive and not particularly flashy or those kinds of things. So I'm sort of that person. I think if I mean, you know the old joke about how to how do you get 20 Lutheran's down out of a tree you ask them to come down?

12:05 But but that's said I'm just

12:10 One of the things that I learned about spirituality that the that I've taken away was more from the metaphysical churches in that most organized religions are he's talking about how you need to go. Find God you find God hear you from the medical fizzled physical church. It's no you close your eyes. You'll be still God is in you you don't have to go looking for God God is in you and you just have to get in touch with that and just relax and you will you will feel that and you will know what to do that said I had a mother who who

12:50 Was always a very good role model and over the years. I haven't needed I don't think anyway the therapy because she taught me the right way to look at things. I've have a number of friends who have been in therapy that have had the back out all the things they learned and then need to do the opposite of the way there and I was lucky I didn't have that at all. And in later years when I say to my mother help me with this. I don't know what to do and she would say, yes you do. If you don't need my help just stop and think what you know, and you know, I have had that confidence and be still and you will always know what to do and sometimes when you don't know what to do, the best thing you can do is nothing and it will come to you because things

13:39 Appear in your life as you need to know them. And so when you're anxious and things like that, you just need to stop and find that piece cuz the answer will come. I always answer your wife and I see God's hand and so many things that have happened to me over the years that that that just have to be more than coincidence the way I found my courses I've had this year. I had my ninth heart cath. My my partner has been dead for almost would be 20 years next year and on that day. I was lying in the cath lab getting ready to go in sitting with the nurse and one one of the songs from my course was going through my head and that always anchors me music always anxious me, but the nurse turned to me and he said,

14:42 Didn't you know Scott Neal I said, yes. He said it's Sunday. And I said yeah, he says I remember YouTube from there. And I mean it's 20 years since he's gone. But in that moment in time before I had all that added about going in I had a song in my heart and I was able to sit and talk for 20 minutes and remember Scott with somebody and I so I could feel that presents all around me. And if that's not God's hand in that moment, I couldn't tell you what else is that's amazing speaking of God's hand. What would you say was your most profound spiritual experience in your lifetime?

15:27 Profound religious experience spiritual

15:33 I don't think that they come in big things like that what that said about God and stuff. My mother had had open heart surgery. My mother had a heart attack had open heart surgery went into a coma for three months at that point. Her leg got infected. They amputated her leg and I was sitting in the hospital but she was still in the coma sitting and having lunch in just sitting in the silurian one day in this woman by never seen before never saw sense and I just was gone just at my Wit's End and she sat down and she asked what was going on. She said all while she was here because her husband and had much of the same thing and she's dying herself and that she had this, bad because things go how they're supposed to go and that I really didn't need to worry and everything would be okay and she got up and she walk

16:33 And again, there is God's hand in that moment because I needed to hear that at that particular moment in time. And the other one that's there for me. All the time is and she has no way of knowing but it's it's it's Bette Midler. She's probably my favorite singer and always can anchormate been on on the night that I found out my mother.

17:04 Had her open heart surgery. My sister called me at 10:30 at night cuz she had gone out my mothers still lived in Pennsylvania. My sister had gone up cuz she knew my mother wasn't doing well that she was in the hospital, but we didn't know about the open heart surgery that's going to have it. So when my sister got there they said oh by the way, you know mother had open heart surgery today. Nobody called. Nobody had let us. So 10:30 at night. I get this news and

17:34 There's Bette Midler on David Letterman show and she's she's singing a song and it it was like she was there to calm me down and and take me out of that for a moment. And then the next month on the day that my mother had her leg amputated. I had tickets for the bat Midler concert that night here in town. But I mean one way or another she has no way of knowing but she's always been there to be an anchor for me. And again, that's God's hand. You know, there's I won't say so I won't say there's one big miracle except that maybe I'm still here, you know, 25 years later with HIV. I have whole groups of friends that are dad and I'm the only one that's left. And you know, why am I still here baby thats the miracle, but I see God's hand in smaller ways and Little Miracles every day if you just look for them.

18:32 So where do we go from here? Do you believe in an afterlife?

18:37 Yeah, the only thing it scares me about that is some of the metaphysics and stuff keep talking about work to do when I sent all I want to do is just sit down, you know, I've gotten through all of this. I fought the hard fight to get through this and like all gosh. More work. So but yeah, I do believe in the afterlife and and if there isn't that's okay to for people with with

19:10 Facing death and protect the ones that have long chronic illnesses.

19:17 I was talking about this with my social worker. Even for the atheist. Sometimes just the idea that I'm just going to lie down and finally rest is enough. So I was saying her maybe you don't need to be so anxious for those people Souls one if they're wrong. God will deal with them anyway, and if they aren't they're ready, they're ready for the nap also saying and that

19:48 Ask the person with the illness.

19:51 You need your friends need to let you know that they know I have a friend that keeps going on. Now. You're going to be all right, you're going to be fine. Everything will be okay. And if I know it's not you need to get there with me because I'm worried for you until you own a little this with me. I I I have to to know you're going to be okay too. It's not just always about me. Although I'd like it to be but but who doesn't.

20:24 Excellent, you know we talked a little bit about already what you've done in your life the coding in the music and when you were little Mikey blunt, no higher than a grasshopper. What did you want to be? Where were your dreams a bigger grasshopper? Well, you know, I'm a little country background.

20:53 In RNA in a blue collar family very bad neck area and I always knew somehow or other. I mean, I didn't know what the word gay was at that point. But I always knew it was a place I had to grow up and get away from because where I come from you're either going to work the farm work the factories or you're going to be a truck driver or a teacher and that was her about the options that you had and no room for gay people at all. And so I just knew I was going to have to grow up and get out of there and one of the things that help me with that as I as I figured out was reading and the places and the people that I read about you know, the more urbane

21:42 Lifestyles and stuff like that coming from a poor family. I know I wouldn't fit into that unless I try to develop a sense of humor and maybe some good manners good manners are carry you a lot of places that you wouldn't necessarily get to any other way. So that's what Little Mikey work done.

22:07 How did you get into?

22:10 The line of work say cosmetology. What did you in that direction before that? I had a career in retailing I break for major chain. I was an area sales manager and a department store at that was coming to an end and I was in my mid-20s by then and I thought I have to go back to school and I have to do something I can do in two years and it's either going to be nursing or it's going to be a cosmetology that you could do in two years. And so I did that's how I ended up in that wasn't any great love or anything like that, but it had to have a piece of paper in my hand say I could do something with all the work that you've done and you certainly have had a variety of jobs.

22:52 What have you learned from your work experiences? How has the work in the jobs? Obviously not to keep my mouth shut which is a sort of in my big problem all along the way. I always had way too much mouth for my own good and yeah, yeah. Yeah hard to believe. Well, you know, I'm always free but I don't think that's going to happen. So I so maybe a little too outspoken for my own good but that said, you know, I could always go home go to sleep cuz I felt like I had it out. There wasn't trying to be something I wasn't.

23:36 So if life was all beginning again, and you had a chance to choose what you wanted to do.

23:43 Based on what you know now what would you want to do go back and try my hand at the at the comedy thing? Cuz I just love that. I like the writing of it. I like the Performing but that said that's a very solitary life cuz it's all observation. I mean, you know, you you have to be able to look at things but a little to the to the side so it's funny but you still have to do it enough to connect with other people so somebody wants to come in here yet cuz they'll go. Oh, yeah that happened to me but I didn't see it quite that way. So I'm fascinated with words and you know, I'm always trying to bring things down to the to the most purest sense. And so I just keep filtering down filtering down feeling. Call me I think does that and what style of Comedy would you say? You truly have a flair for?

24:43 Sarcasm in grief true and true. I can be a little sarcastic and unfortunately, I'm probably funniest and it's not a pretty picture but then I just chop them this way and then chopping that way and then up and down a little more but that's

25:06 Secondary career at one point another one that I left out. I was I was told I was a music major in college, but where that was going. I was going in the music Ministry. This was in the seventies and it's one of those things that I ended up.

25:27 As I started to

25:31 Face my feelings and no I was gay. I also knew that I couldn't keep that under a bushel. I would always have to be who I was and in the seventies. I just didn't think people were going to let me have the kids to work with when I was openly gay and particularly in in religion. It's not open like it is now so I just didn't see that happen. So I moved on to the other 47 things that since then we've crossed cray.

26:10 So this year is your 25th anniversary of being diagnosed with HIV it is

26:18 Big Year for you, since you weren't supposed to last 25 months, right? That's true amazing. Congratulation all thank you. So let's talk about your other illnesses. And how HIV is played a part of those. Where are you today on this wise illness wise I've had.

26:37 I've had any number of issues because none of the HIV per se but of the drugs and the side effects from the drugs. It's like my doctor says my infectious disease doctor says she saw the HIV won't kill you said your head or your heart is going to kill you first and that's turned out to be very prophetic from the protease Inhibitors. I've gotten diabetes first why you have to be genetically disposed of that. I don't want to just say oh everybody don't use these drugs because this is what happens to you. But 20% of the people who take that particular line of drugs developed diabetes and or heart disease, but you have to be genetically predisposed to that and both my parents had bad hearts.

27:26 And my mother was an insulin-dependent diabetic from the coronary artery disease. I got blockage everywhere's has neuropathy. I've had bypass grafts on both of my legs because the arteries are completely clogged and drop if he and my feet I've had an endarterectomy on my neck because the blockage has blockage blockage block. I've had five heart attacks now two of them this year. I had one in May and one in April I had

27:59 One of those graphs in my legs was included this year. So so I had to have a thrombectomy to get that out. So at this point now

28:10 I'm for stents and 9 hard casts in now this year after the first heart attack this year, which would have been number for while you were there. I went in one day with the heart attack the next day. I had the cardiac cath number 9 and in that one.

28:36 So different from all the other ones from the minute. I walked in the hospital. Everybody was talking about open heart surgery. They talked to me about it in the emergency room the doctor cardiologist from my Panthers came down. So I talked to me about open heart surgery when I went up to head the calf the cath lab people started talk about open heart surgery. The guy who's the doctor that did the cast Arden talk about all this was from out and nowhere. I mean, so we went from Tuesday to managing me a systemically to Wednesday having a heart attack the Thursday having the cardiac Cath and then you were sitting there with me when the when the cardiologists came down inside I consulted with the surgeon surgeon is going to come in and talk to you about about open heart surgery and the surgeon came down you and Dennis were there and I was not corked but I mean, I still have a lot of drugs.

29:36 And in out and just turned in just this kind of ways to say, you know, you're just not a candidate for open heart surgery and we've done all we can do so, there's nothing anybody can do for you now and turn the master room and I remember turning it ago. Did I hear that, right?

29:53 So when from a from medically managing the heart attack the cardiac cast open heart surgery to know open heart surgery to vent for a very small moment about a heart transplant, which I'm not a candidate for it because of the HIV meds suppress the immune system so I can never take the meds. That would keep me from rejecting the heart to then talking about hospice.

30:21 So, I mean you want to talk about a lot of things in a small amount of time to 2 to wrap your brain around, you know that all happened in like 3 or 4 days. So I think so.

30:35 Went home. The next week was back 3 days later and congestive heart failure again, you know due to the drugs two weeks later. I was back cuz I was had acute renal insufficiency because I've been throwing up from some of the meds and had dried out. So I was almost in renal failure and then a week after that went back with the with the second heart attack in 6 weeks, but which would have been heart attack number 5 and at that point that's when we we started with hospice. So I spent a month just kind of

31:12 Lost

31:13 Loss loss isn't the right word wrapping my brain around it cuz it was just me that's a lot to take in all at once that from here were managing to get your act together because that's all there is to it and it took me about a month and then I spent time with all my friends just trying to step back cuz one thing that the patients who are dying go through as they want to make sure everybody else is going to be okay when they're gone and you know, you see that and then after about a month of that it's it's like you just end up having to go back and be true to yourself. I mean, I was always a pushy bowling yenta. So I went back to being pushy bullying yenta and

32:07 Trying to take some of the life experience that I've had and you know, I don't think I do it in a mean way but you know, I just always telling people it's been my experience that you know, such and such but I've also learned to the people sort have to find their way in their own time, but that was a lot to to wrap my brain around very shortly. And now this process is going very quickly. Cuz since then that now I'm more homebound I'm on oxygen that said things that I finally took back that I've always had over this 25 years is one you you won't live a minute longer a second longer than your supposed to and you won't die minutes before you're supposed to so let it go.

33:00 I mean we're all going to die. There's nothing you can do about it. And I've been surprised there's a little more piece to this then I thought they would be I have a friend that I get back at me cuz I always say, you know, I feel so much better since I gave up hope and it's and he gets mad he goes home. I never give up hope and it's what I mean by that is I know this is what's going to happen. And I'm okay with that. Hoping something's going to change the last second or anything can change at the last second. I'm okay I've accepted with what's going to happen and I need to know that everybody else is up to speed with me on that. So in that sense, that's what I mean about giving up. Hope the idea that that it's going to change and I still won't die before I'm supposed to

33:56 Well heading in that direction, are you scared of time?

34:01 Scared of the moment because nobody wants some tortuous death but of dying itself now.

34:10 I had my partner come to me in a dream cuz I always knew and he told me before he died that he would be the one that came for me when it was my time. And I I have had the dream then where he is coming taking me by the arm, and then we're walking and I go I'm on and he keeps moving backwards while I have his arm and I go I'm so afraid that you know when this is going to happen each and it goes turn around. Look we're through you've already done it if it was that simple and I just kind of hold on to that.

34:45 That's amazing.

34:47 How do you imagine your death?

34:51 That's so sure that I can I take with any luck. I'll just have the big one and go.

34:59 I mean, I have a friend that just you know.

35:01 Grabs chest and and died getting himself a drink of water at the kitchen sink. I've had the torturous heart attacks. I hope it's not like that has to be all for you.

35:18 What are the most important lessons that you've learned in your life? Well, I probably have nothing new to add to those. But I will I will tell you some things that have resonated for me biggest one is you know, you can lie to anybody else but don't lie to yourself because if you're not being honest with yourself, you can never fix anything on people rationalize and say different things and you go you are so full of it. I mean that's such a steaming Heap what you just said and you know, I have a little reality check on your son come. No, I own it own it.

36:01 I do think this is sort of one of those. Dr. Phil isms. But we do teach people how to treat us and it if if you let people treat you badly they will treat you badly. It's just sort of you get what you expect.

36:17 And I and I also think when you say nothing cuz I've said this to you before when you say nothing you're telling people. It's all right to treat you that way. So but the reverse of that too is you can't be going out couch all the time A friend of mine from the chorus says, you know, if your if someone keeps stepping on your foot pedal is maybe your feet are out too far and you know, they're kind of has to be a balance to that and my Angelo says when people tell you who they are believe them

36:51 And that's so very true. We make excuses for people and they'll go, you know, you meet somebody and they got you know, I'm not always a nice person and I'm crabby and I'm maybe a little Bitchie and I'm listening to believe them.

37:06 Cuz he now and try to take the cinnamon out of it and and you'll see there probably by are pretty much who they told you that so don't try to be changing that they told you who they are.

37:23 I went years ago to Caleb specifically here to my Angelo and and I was at a point where I just couldn't sort things out in my head and I didn't know what you would say, but I knew I would come away with something and and she was saying, you know that the greatest trade of all that you have that you would must have discouraged. If you have courage you can do all the other ones and so you you just used to me over the years with diseases you you there are times when you just have to look the dragon in the eye and nine times out of 10. I have found that it's never as bad as I feared it would be but you have to look the dragon in the eye.

38:16 Also, you know you look you look at somebody and they make excuses in my life is doing this and that and you see bad habits on some level it works for them or they wouldn't do it and that's sort of kind of ties in the lie to anybody but don't lie to yourself. You're getting something out of that or you wouldn't continue to have the bad behavior. There's some sort of payoff to it. And so if they're not willing to to open up and go yes, I do this because of this this and this that's where that work needs to start.

38:49 And be kind and forgiving to yourself most people are very forgiving to the friends and other people but really bad to themselves. And the last thing I would say is

39:07 This again. I heard Oprah say this on her last show and it's so true. You are responsible for the energy that you bring into a room. And so whatever is going on, whatever you say if you come in a bad mood the rims going on fine and everybody suddenly turns and it's your fault you're responsible for that energy that that you brought into that room. So if you're not having an open heart about things remember you're bringing back to the game.

39:39 So that's about a George. Thank you so much. Michael think you could have done it without you change my life and you mine.