Matthew Roberson and Brooke Barnes

[00:03] BROOKE BARNES: My name is Brooke. I am 43 years old. Today's date is September 5, 2024. I'm in Richmond, Virginia, and I'm here with my one small step partner, Matthew

[00:18] MATTHEW ROBERSON: My name is Matthew I am 37 years old, and today is September 5, 2024. And I'm also located in Chesterfield, Virginia.

[00:32] BROOKE BARNES: Great. So, Matthew I'm going to read through your bio now. I read through it earlier, but just for the recording. Matthew grew up with three other siblings and two parents as teachers in a very small town in Virginia. Matthew has worked for nonprofits over ten years before making the switch to for profit work and sales because he couldn't afford it anymore, which is not uncommon, unfortunately, in the nonprofit industry. It's work that's rewarding in a lot of ways. Matthew is married with two kids. His favorite thing besides sports, is helping others. He is competitive, but also uses that for sales techniques to do the same to help everyone get what they need.

[01:17] MATTHEW ROBERSON: All right, and I will read Brooke's bio here. And Brooke is a working mother of two young children and also married a firefighter. She came from an economically depressed background with a history of trauma and neglect and wants her children to experience a different world than the one that she grew up in. Brooke believes that past does not define us, define ourselves, and strives to be positive example to her children. Brooke was raised in a church, but not a religious family. And at the time of this recording, right now, Brooke's family is not practicing religion.

[02:05] BROOKE BARNES: I feel like that was hard to kind of read for the recording, didn't you? Because I'm like, I don't want to talk like I'm you. So I think we did pretty well, though. So thank you so much for being on the call and agreeing to do with do this. I know I have my reasons. I'll share, but I am curious, what made you decide to take part in this program?

[02:31] MATTHEW ROBERSON: So, it's just a very interesting program. I think it's awesome to see just the psychology of people and the thought processes that people have and I experiences that they've had and why they've come up to with the conclusions that they have on just different topics going on, whether it's, you know, whether it is politics or what's going on in the city that you're living in or day to day with children, whatever it is, it's just. It's fascinating to me to understand people a little bit more and where they're coming from and why they think they. They are the way they are and just, again, understanding everyone a little bit better, just as universal things that are happening right now. So I'm going to pose the same question in the one small step program.

[03:22] BROOKE BARNES: So, conversation and how to be an effective communicator is something that has been fascinating to me over the last couple of years. And I had the opportunity about two years ago, transitioned from a very stressful work environment to one that is significantly less stressful, which is nice, because initially I was focused on just, you know, professional development. Now I'm focusing a little more also on personal development. And it's interesting. And one of the reasons communication stuck out to me was, I can see where this can blend and help, both personally and professionally, and how I communicate with others across generations and genders and cultures, and being mindful, kind of diving into what it means to be an active listener. And these are things that I can model at home with my children. I can model with my husband, because you can be married 15 years and still learn something about someone every day. You know, communication is something that's evolving. And I loved what this program was trying to do is bringing people together that may not have had a conversation before, or maybe we would have had one, but not had a candid conversation. So my hope is if we discuss things about our past or, you know, maybe our differences or our beliefs, this isn't something a conversation we would have had watching our kids soccer game or meeting at a neighbor's barbecue. And we don't have those conversations for a number of reasons. I think in those settings, maybe we're scared of offending someone or, you know, coming across as difficult. And I really was excited about the concept of having an I open conversation where we had, you know, the foundational agreements and things like that and just kind of see how it might be different.

[05:36] MATTHEW ROBERSON: That's awesome. I love that. I mean, I think we're on the same boat of what we like, so. And what's going on here. So the one thing, though, we do have in common is children. So I know your topic is, is making sure that you. They have a better lifestyle than you did on the same boat. Now, I didn't have. I didn't have a bad lifestyle. I didn't have a bad childhood. I say I had a pretty good one. It's just in a small town. So tell me a little bit more of what you strive about with your children and what you want better for them.

[06:17] BROOKE BARNES: I want them to grow up in an environment where they feel loved and secure. I want them to be effective communicators, and I want them to see the world in a way that's different from, I feel like growing up, how others saw the world was really pressed upon me. I want to raise open minded young men who are kind and mindful, and I don't want them to know a lot of the things I grew up with in terms of insecurity and, you know, just kind of the oppression and not feeling loved and supported and wanted to. And that's not just a perception. I was told from a very early age that was the case. I was not wanted. It was my fault my mother couldn't go to college. It was my fault her life was ruined. And so I don't want them to feel. I want them to feel celebrated for being here. And they absolutely are. They are of such a joy in our lives and, you know, as children are such a headache. But, I mean, they just, they brought so much to me that I, you know, growing up how I did, I didn't know what kind of mother I would be because I didn't have a model for it. And it's been one of the greatest things I've ever done.

[08:07] MATTHEW ROBERSON: That's, first of all, I'm so sorry to hear everything that's going on. And look, in my beliefs, and I'm sure most people that you'll talk to is everyone's worth it. It's terrible that you had to deal with that. It sounds like you're getting past it and you're doing a whole lot with it in good ways, obviously, working with your children. So, I mean, kudos to you. That's a tough one. That's great. But it sounds like. Yeah. So you got two boys that you're working with?

[08:44] BROOKE BARNES: I do, yes. A nine year old and a three year old. My husband and I tell people the nine year old has taught us to parent and the three year old has taught us never to judge another parent. But they just, they both have their own kind of spot sparkle that they bring. You know, my oldest is more reserved. He's got kind of that dry Jane lynch sense of humor that every so often he just has a zinger. And he is so empathetic and loving and he can read a room. He notices how people are feeling and responding, and he just, he has such a huge heart. And the small one is a firecracker. He's three. This is his world. We just live in it. Yeah. He'll stop people in the grocery store and talk to them so much. The other parent and I have to exchange numbers because they are friends now. Like, this is happening. And I think what I love about that is they both, in some way, are parenting me in a way I never had, which is kind of nice. They're teaching me something like, to see Ben and to see his huge heart and see how much he really just, you know, puts others first. And then I always wonder when I watch my youngest out and about just everyone is his friend and. Let's talk. And maybe the world would be better if more people were like that.

[10:19] MATTHEW ROBERSON: Yeah, so, look, I. Yeah, I have. So I have a three year old and a nine month old. And you say that now, but then when she screams, hearing a little bit, going down for a nap, I. Yeah. And they're the same way. Two totally different, just different beings. My. My son just is. He has to talk to everybody. When he goes to. My wife goes to the gym, when I go to the gym with him, everyone knows his name. Everyone's got to talk to him. Everyone's got to say hi to him. He's got just an aura by him, which I don't have, my wife doesn't have. So I don't know where he gets it from, but he loves it. He's a rock star, and everyone needs to know his name. So my daughter is nine months old, and she could care less about what's going on around her. She does not, you know, she's checking everything out. She's just looking at everything and taking it all in until it's nap time, and then she screams and hollers. But other than that, she. She's reserved, quiet to herself, you know, introvert for the most part, but it's really fun. Parenting is not the. Not what you expect. Everyone tells you what you know, they give you their perspective and whatnot, and it's still never. It's the same. So it's always something different and always something just unique and having and all that kind of stuff. Where you and I grew up, I mean, we didn't have technology. We didn't have all those things where, you know, they. My three year old has a tablet in the classroom now because that's what they need. So, yeah, it's all crazy and good. But again, going back to the point where you were talking about how you just want to have a better life for them than you did, and I think everyone wants that. If not, at least if they had a good life, good childhood, they want their kid to have good childhood, too. I think for the most part, I'm just a firm believer, and this is getting into the beliefs and everything like that, too. You know, we hear a lot of negative stuff all day long, and I don't want my kids to hear that and know that because that's probably 1% of what's really going on in the world. And it's just, it's good to have those wholesome moments and to keep those wholesome moments all the time. I'm not saying that, you know, technology is bad or, you know, social media or anything like that is the devil, but it's just good to have those, those moments. Right. And not listening to the one centers, it's not listening to the, the people that complain all day long. So, yeah, kids are just great. Right?

[13:13] BROOKE BARNES: Absolutely. Now, and I apologize. I started talking and you were finishing, but I, you know, and I know it'll be something you probably tackle a little later, but with my nine year old, we have struggled with that. How much to expose them to what's going on from a political standpoint, you know, or just kind of, you know, things that are happening. We. So we were talking the other day. We were in the car. I had to go get fingerprinted to be the football team mom. My husband voted me for that. He put me up for that. I didn't get to pick. And we started talking about the upcoming election and, and who is running. And he has some questions for me. You know, well, how do we choose? And he asked me who was running. I told him, and I said, you know, everyone is going to feel differently based on their beliefs. And he's like, you mean God? And I said, no, not necessarily. I said, but that could weigh into it. I said, but each candidate has their own position, certain viewpoints, and that could. How I feel about one viewpoint could lead back to my religious beliefs or my cultural beliefs or my personal beliefs. And I said, my personal beliefs have a lot of things that weigh into them. I said, so I could vote different than dad. I said, dad could vote different than the chief at his fire station. I said. And then we started talking a little about electoral votes, and I think I went too far in the deep end. Kind of glassed over a little, but I feel comfortable talking about it. But I don't really feel comfortable, like, turning on a political debate for him to watch. Does that make sense? Yeah, I just. And when I was young, I remember seeing some of those things, and I thought to myself, those were great people. And I don't know, honestly, if I could say the same now. And I'm not sure why, but I just. Something in me tells me I'm not really comfortable really going down that road yet with him.

[15:41] MATTHEW ROBERSON: No, I'm with you. I don't know if I can handle, at nine years old, I have. So again, my parents were teachers and funny enough, father was the history government teacher in high school, so he taught all that fun stuff. So we learned about politics at a young age and in fact, he ran for different things. And I'm from the northern neck, so a very small town. I joke with people. I grew up in the, I went to high school at the second smallest public school in Virginia at the time. Me and my 29 classmates graduated together.

[16:20] BROOKE BARNES: Oh, my goodness.

[16:22] MATTHEW ROBERSON: So I'm a very small town, but we learned about the politics quickly because my parents were involved with them and with the school and everything as well, too. So I remember what was it, 2000? Yeah, the election in 2000, obviously, with Florida and it being crazy and all that stuff and, and with Bush. And my father was having the same conversations with my mother that they don't know who, what to do, what's going on, all that kind of stuff. And he just said, use common sense, whatever you think that is. And I don't know if that stuck with me. Obviously, it stuck with me, you know, 24 years later. But it's just use common sense on what you think is good and what you think is bad and see how far it gets there and, you know, figure it out from there. And, you know, I was, what, 13 when that was, that was going on. So it's just, it's a difficult conversation to have and to not push anything on dear children and not have them sway anyway. Right. So it all depends on what's happening, what's going on in the world. And every day is a little bit different. I don't disagree with you. I think it's, the political systems always just, it's messed up, and it has been for years. And I think now it's coming to light and people are starting to realize it. You have just people that are out on their own agendas trying to figure out what they want to do and not for the United States as it, as it once was, at least felt like it once was. So that's interesting that the older son wants to, is asking those questions. That's awesome that he's intrigued, trying to find out a little bit more about it. What does your husband say about those conversations?

[18:27] BROOKE BARNES: He, it's interesting. So he does not really have those conversations with our son. I know he and his brothers kind of have stronger political beliefs than we do, than I do. So I, it's not. I think he feels like he doesn't want to push that too much, so he kind of steps back and. Yeah, they don't really have conversations like that. But I've noticed that he kind of comes to me with his big questions, like he, you know, and just. That's kind of my role for him. It almost sounds like the role your dad had. It sounds. What I'm hearing is like he really tried to guide you into thinking for yourself.

[19:21] MATTHEW ROBERSON: Yeah.

[19:22] BROOKE BARNES: And I think he comes to me because he really. He can sense that, that I'm going to try. When he asks me questions, I'm going to try to explain and give him things that'll make him think of what. How he feels about something.

[19:39] MATTHEW ROBERSON: Now, um. Is it the same thing you try to do on. Let's. Let's leave the political side of it? How about, you know, the, um. Just raising and stuff like that? Is he very. Sounds like. Obviously he's a football coach, so he's very involved and enjoys that. So it sounds like you guys are doing well together, trying to manage two kids and work life balance and all that kind of fun stuff.

[20:02] BROOKE BARNES: It's. It's busy. We joke that if anyone wants to join us for dinner, they can meet us in a camp chair down at the football field. But it's. It's been wonderful. And I. It's funny because I know next to nothing about football. And I've been learning, I've been watching YouTube videos. My husband's laughing at me and I'm just like, I need to know what going on. And I love it because we have just such a melting pot of boys. So we have some from different backgrounds. We have one school that's kind of the main flagship school that's part of the Chesterfield Quarterback association. And then if your school does not have an association, you can join an open one. And each team can take a certain number of what they call free agent players. And so my son is a free agent player and he's playing with kids that have been playing since they were four years old. They can start flag football at four and boys and girls play. And it's really kind of great to see all of these kids not because they didn't all just grow up together, you know, just kind of learn to function as a team. And they do it so quickly. It's really a phenomenal thing to see that and just see how influential and the responsibility of being a coach. I mean, they love their coaches. They've got two of them that coach Monacan high school helping, they've got another parent helping. And it's amazing. Just, I mean, the other day I fussed it. My son, he forgot to take his plate from the table to the sink and he dropped and started doing push ups. And I said, I don't think we need to, you know, he goes, no, I've got to get them in anyhow. And. But, yeah, he is always asking about, you know, how healthy is this? I need to make sure I'm putting good things in my body. And he and I sat down together and came up with a plan to make sure, you know, he's doing everything he needs to do to prepare for tests. And I never realized this, being having a strong sports background and having coaches, I didn't realize that that would kind of go past the fields. I always thought, oh, they teach you to play baseball, they teach you to play football. That's great. No, Ben told me the other day, he goes, they're teaching me to become a man. And I thought that was really cool.

[22:49] MATTHEW ROBERSON: Yeah.

[22:50] BROOKE BARNES: And I had no clue. And I'm like, well, I guess I'm going to live at this football field now because we're just going to do this forever because it's amazing for you. I mean.

[23:03] MATTHEW ROBERSON: Yeah.

[23:05] BROOKE BARNES: I saw in your bio you have a sports background. Do you want to share anything about that?

[23:11] MATTHEW ROBERSON: Yeah. So again, I tell people I grew up like the sandlot movie, if you've ever seen it. I mean, again, small town, literally, the closest Walmart was 45 minutes away. You know, we had a, we had a little grocery store and the next closest thing was 45 minutes away. So that's all we had was sports, really. You know, you go to a neighbor's house and you go pick up a ball and go play. I was fortunate enough play throughout high school and play a little bit in college as well, too. Play some baseball in college. Actually got recruited for football and baseball and played a little bit of baseball there as well. And I just have stuck to it. One of the things I've talked about numerous times, whether it's an interview or whatever, I think one of the greatest inventions ever was the huddle. And it's simply because like eleven people that are in there, in a football field on that side of the ball, they're going to be eleven different people there. It's, it's not going to be the same anything. You're going to have one, one person that doesn't know where their next meal is and you have the next person that's going home in a, you know, Mercedes Benz, and then you have the person next to them that's going to, you know, try to figure out how they're going to, you know, separate the chicken to make sure everyone gets a piece of it right. Like, it's the most diverse thing that you'll ever be a part of. And you have to all work together somehow, some way for a goal at the end of the day. So your goal is either to get to the next drive, score a touchdown, win the game, whatever it might be. But you're getting an eclectic group together for a goal, and it's, it's the greatest thing. So that, that's the, uh, the addiction I have with it is because with sports is because you get just the variety of people and the ways and the things and the processes and all that kind of stuff. And at the end of the day, they're all trying to get the same thing. It might look different, feel different, act different, but at the end of the day, that's the goal is to win, or the goal is to do whatever they need to do to make sure that they get it done right. So it's just something that stuck with me, obviously. I'm a big. I tell people I'm a big, dumb jock, and it just, I use it everywhere, unfortunately. And I use sports references and all that kind of stuff all the time. And I'm learning, I need to stop doing that because everyone's not as psychotic as I am when it comes to sports and fitness and activities and all that kind of stuff. And it's even to the point where I got to make sure that my kids are maybe involved in it, but not, it's not all their world as well, too. I want to make sure they're a part of it. Luckily, I have a wife that she's also, she teaches dance, so she gives me the arts side of everything that's going on to kind of mellow me out and tell me, hey, look, life doesn't revolve around sports, so get your. Get your life together. There's a little bit more than just that. So, yeah, I do. I do have that sports background. I use it a lot, but it's the same thing like this, right? You know, I get to meet you. Do I? Have we. Would we have ever met elsewise? I don't know, but it gives me a chance on an opportunity to meet you and talk to you. So that's why something like this has just been. Been pretty cool about it. So how is this first year as a football mom?

[26:51] BROOKE BARNES: Yes. Yes. So we did flag football in the spring, and now we're doing tackle.

[26:58] MATTHEW ROBERSON: How do you feel about doing that?

[27:00] BROOKE BARNES: Honestly? I love it. The equipment is solid. I learned the details on the helmets and how they're recertified every five years. And I mean, just to say, see the things it brings out in him. I mean, if it's a risk he wants to take, it's my job to help, help him go down his path. If I've done my job as a parent, he's going to be able to make his own choices, and I have to respect that to a certain extent. So I've talked to a couple of parents who are like, I can't believe you're letting him do tackle. And I really want to find a way to expose them to what we've gained from it because we have gotten so much more than the risk just to see him work so hard at something. I told my husband the other day in our cracker Jack book of parenting, I said, we must have done something right, because he is by no means the best one on that team. He's still learning. And he still, he went all summer, twice a week in the heat, 2 hours, and did volunteer summer conditioning, learned how to use the weight room at the high school ran. I mean, he is, he's still pushing. He's still trying. And I love that it's giving him a work ethic. I mean, and it's just. And to see him, like you said in the huddle, connect with people, that is really important to me. I don't want him in a middle class bubble. I want better for him. I want better for them both. But I want them to not only notice that there are others who are different from them, who think differently, who have different backgrounds and different beliefs, but that that should be celebrated, not something that should be, well, we're different, so we're not going to, you know, be friends or hang around each other. But I found it interesting that a lot of people have been like, I can't believe you're letting him do that. And I'm like, he has gained so much. I noticed when you mentioned, you know, the sports references and how they're obnoxious. I mean, I don't. I think that whoever, if someone thinks they're obnoxious, maybe they don't really understand, like, I didn't a year ago, what it was like to be on a team. I thought you're just, you're learning a sport, and now it's, it's been invaluable for my son.

[29:49] MATTHEW ROBERSON: Yeah, no, that's exactly what it is. They don't know what's going on. But I. Yeah, you know, I. I will always say it's one of the greatest gifts that I got was, was sports, and, look, I could have done nothing with it, and here I am years later, not doing anything with it for the most part, and I still reference it all the time, so it's great. I mean, it sounds like you're trying to find that, that influence, that influential thing for your son. Mine happened to be sports, and I had coaches and they were. There's still a part of my life 2030 years later that, I mean, I talk to on a regular basis. So, I mean, I still talk to my high school coach, you know, 20 years later and, and text chain and all that kind of stuff. So, speaking of influencing who, who has influenced you? We'll say with your kids on the way you wanted to be enact and treat them.

[30:58] BROOKE BARNES: I guess I've kind of always operated under doing the opposite of what my mother did and trying to be mindful of how I communicate with my children and how I treat them, how I make them feel. Am I building them up? Unfortunately, I haven't had a positive role model. I've kind of had to figure it out as I go. I was very fortunate. My husband had a good father and a wonderful mother. She passed, actually, the first year we were dating. His mom did of brain cancer. And his father is a very good man, but he's very hands off as a parent. He works and takes care of his boys, and that's it. My husband is a very hands on father. He loves his boys. He goes to the practices and, I mean, even for little guy, and just does the things. He wants to go to the first day of preschool and meet the teacher. I mean, he is very hands on. And so some of it I see from him, I kind of take cues from him. And there's times where I'll notice I might think something is a really big deal. And he will listen to Ben talk about it, and my husband will like, well, buddy, it seems like you've got the situation well in hand. And I'm like, I don't think he does. I don't think he does. And he's like, he'll figure that out and come back. You have to let him go figure that out. So that's been. That's been wonderful to have that.

[32:48] MATTHEW ROBERSON: Yeah, it's awesome. Yeah. It's always difficult to let them figure it out, right. Because you would just want to fix it. Yeah, I know I fall under that. I just want to go fix it and call it, but now I got to sit back, let them develop it, figure it out, do all that stuff, and get squared away with it. So, yeah, I'm with you. It's a. It's a tough one. I struggle with it all the time now, especially because I want them to explore and be able to do, you know, again, more than I, you know, same thing that you have, more than I got to do. Not saying I had a bad life or anything like that, obviously. I just. I want them to experience it. And just like you said, you know, I grew up in a, again, very small town. I didn't know anything. I went to a college. I went from me and my 29 friends graduating and into a 30,000 person student school and was just amazed. I mean, there were more people in my dorm room that year than in my town. So it just, it's crazy. And, you know, what a better spot then to have the diversity, to have everything that's going on in Richmond, right? So this, this place here just is, you know, has everything for the most part, the good, the bad opportunity for everything that's going on around here as well, too. Just big enough to be able to do something, but also small enough to have a community and have resources and have things around you and all that kind of good stuff as well, too. It's just, that's what drew me in here, obviously, with the schools, with it, with everything that's going on, it just, I think it's cool place, especially for kid, for kids to be from and grow up in as well, too. So definitely, again, just different on my, my part of it, but the growing up aspect, I've talked about it a little bit. Do you want to talk about just a little bit more about your upbringing and what got you here and what made, you know, back to this, what made you want to do this and what the things from your upbringing and whatnot?

[35:15] BROOKE BARNES: Absolutely. So I grew up in a small town in southwest Michigan. My mother had me at 19 years old. Later on, she married who would become my sister's dad. And we were part of a family that was very ingrained in a church on the surface, but not overly religious. So I say that, and maybe I don't have an accurate picture of religious, but in my mind, how religion works is you have your beliefs and you try to follow them. And growing up, it was kind of, we acted one way in public or at church and then at home, it was very different. One of my earliest memories was my sister's father throwing my mother down a flight of stairs when she was pregnant. I was probably three or four years old. From there, she kind of had a series of relationships. And we kind of were thrown into a kind of tornado of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse. This went on until I was almost 15. And she let who was my stepfather back in the house again. And I went to school like it was any other day. And took an entire bottle of pills. When I woke up in the intensive care, my mother was there. And she told me that the police were coming. And there were things I could say and things I could not. Or I could go to jail for what I did. And I believed her. I had my grandmother and my great grandmother. They both played piano in organ for church. And were really wonderful ladies in the community. But they also did not want the upset of doing anything to help me. We were kind of just kind of, okay, you know, we're just gonna keep going. And even me trying to commit suicide really didn't change anything. I was fortunate enough that school was a great escape for me. And I loved to learn, much like my son does. And I had an amazing guidance counselor at school. And she helped me apply for probably a dozen or more scholarships I received in Michigan. You have to take the ACt. You don't have to take the SAT. I took both in case there was an option out of state, knowing I really couldn't afford it. But I did get a scholarship for my ACt scores. And I received quite a few scholarships from communities. And I wrote so many essays, Matthew I cannot even tell you. And I wound up with enough money to go to a four year university. And it's because of that woman. It really is. I was really fortunate. I remember the first time I took my acts. And the only score that was a little lower was my math. We had an algebra instructor, a man named Mister Adams. And he actually tutored me for free two nights a week after school. He would give me things to work on. I would work on them. He would point out, you know, things I could do better, things I needed to. And it took me a while to realize that even though my own family was scared to help me. I had other people who were helping me. And I'm so incredibly thankful. I don't know why they chose to help me, but they did. And it allowed me to go to college and get a degree and apply for jobs and move here. My husband, he was my first cousin's roommate in college. It's how he and I connected. And he's one of the best people I know. So because two people who have no blood relation to me at all decided to be kind, they gave me a different chance at life, and I don't want to squander that. I want to move forward and honor them. I don't want to feel bad about my past, because that's where it is. And they don't deserve any more me than they already got. I want to move forward, and I want to maybe one day be worthy enough if that opportunity presents to me to help somebody else, because I can't imagine where I'd be had they not done that.

[40:43] MATTHEW ROBERSON: That's awesome. That's a look. I'm ready to run through a wall. It's super impactful. I hope you get a chance one day to talk to people about it.

[40:56] BROOKE BARNES: I actually never have. You're the first person. I mean, my husband knows, but it's not a conversation you can have, you know, it's not. How do you.

[41:10] MATTHEW ROBERSON: It's a, um. But it's a story. That's what. Hey. Yeah, it's hard to bring up. Right. Um. But it's a great. I mean, yeah, it's. It obviously doesn't have great parts in it, but, you know, you got to be where you are now. I mean, and look, it sounds pretty awesome. So it. Yeah, you need to take some. Take it on the road.

[41:36] BROOKE BARNES: I don't think anything like that, but I'd love the opportunity to kind of be able to help somebody else. And I think really, my mindset is. Is really the best part is just I'm. That's. That doesn't get any more of me. And I want to focus on the things I can do to honor those who helped me, and they wouldn't want me kind of stuck in that place. You know how sometimes you meet people, you can tell they're stuck in whatever happened to them, and I'm not going to be stuck.

[42:18] MATTHEW ROBERSON: Say, look, I need you on a TED talk. I need you. All this stuff, this is. It's good.

[42:25] BROOKE BARNES: Well, I don't know. You could talk about the huddle. That was pretty powerful, too. And you're absolutely right. I wish there was a time where you could see the boys play because they are pretty amazing. I had two of them a couple weeks ago because I'm team mom throwing up on the sidelines from the heat, and I've got the cold towels on their necks and I'm rubbing their back. They get through the two games and I'm handing out snacks, and the one goes, you were so nice. He goes, thank you. Can I give you a hug? And my own nine year old is at the point where he's like, just not in public. And I'm like, oh, my God, yes. I'm like, you can hug me.

[43:11] MATTHEW ROBERSON: Right? Yeah.

[43:14] BROOKE BARNES: But I've been brought over to the dark side of. Maybe if we talk sometime next year, I'll have some, some sports analogies to work in the conversation. Like you do.

[43:27] MATTHEW ROBERSON: Yeah. Throw a couple touchdowns. I like it.

[43:31] BROOKE BARNES: I was curious. Oh, sorry. Do you want to ask a question first?

[43:34] MATTHEW ROBERSON: No, no, go for it.

[43:37] BROOKE BARNES: Do you and your family get to visit that small town you grew up in?

[43:42] MATTHEW ROBERSON: So it's, uh. You talked about it. It's community. I mean, like I said, it's funny enough, my high school coach was my neighbor, so. And I grew up with his, so. And one lives in short pump, so I, you know, our kids grow up together and all that kind of stuff. I've known the guy, you know, 35 plus years now. And it's funny, this is the furthest we've ever lived apart from each other. Yeah, it's, it's a community. So my parents were all over the place in the town and it was one of those things that, like, you talked about a little bit. My, my parents were fortunate enough where, yeah, we didn't have tonnage, we didn't have the latest and greatest, this, that and the other. But we had people, we had places to go and we had communities. So we were always doing something, whether it was, you know, cleaning up in the middle of the town to make sure that it looked good for the festival that's coming up, or. I remember being 910 years old and someone dropped off, had a bus. They were filling up a bus with cans to raise money for the school. And I spent one weekend with my father. There's four of us and three boys and a girl, and the boys and dad had to go pick up cans all weekend long to make sure that they got the money. I mean, it was just, there's always something to do. And so we go back all the time. I want my, my son to. I want my, my daughter to know that there's always community. There's always something out there that can resemble a little bit more than. Yeah, it can slow things down as well, too. I I work in beverage, so I'm moving all the time and doing a whole bunch of different things. And this is. It's what have you done for me now? Not what have you done for. For me lately? Right. And, yeah, it's just. It's a. It's a great community to go back to and sit back and just take it in and be able to experience that kind of stuff. And the. I think the best part is my parents have DSL Internet, so really, that's all they can get there. So, I mean, my phone moves faster than their computer, so it's one of those things that it's just, you have to not. It's very hard to be on your phones. It's very hard to be on a tablet. You have to go and enjoy what's around you. So it's a. It's awesome. Go ahead.

[46:39] BROOKE BARNES: It just. It sounds like that town just instilled in you a sense of civic responsibility that. I mean, I try so hard to teach that with my boys. We volunteer at a community garden. I mean, but just, you were involved if the town needed, you know, day to day. If you're fundraising for the school, that's. That's really cool. Do you think that kind of inspired you to go into nonprofit work? Initially, 100%.

[47:09] MATTHEW ROBERSON: So, again, my parents were teachers, so all we knew to do was to help out whether we wanted to or not. I mean, it was instilled in us, so it was just one of those things that we did. And then I saw how much my parents enjoyed helping and show how well they were. Dumb jock. So I went to school and got a PE degree because, hey, I get to play sports all day long. I get to be in a community with school. I get to, you know, play player sport and teach it to kids. I mean, who would not want to do that, right? And I definitely wasn't good enough to do any more than the handful of years I got to play. So it's just one of those things that I said, all right, let's do it. Unfortunately, it just ended up being one of those things where you go to school and you keep trying to do whatever you can and to make it work. And I actually talked two years. I went to work at the Y for the other eight years to do nonprofit work, but when my student loan was the same as my rent, I mean, it's very hard to be able to do that kind of stuff. So, still very involved, still like to do a whole bunch of stuff. I'm on boards now, which has been awesome, because I can be able to do that kind of stuff and just try to give back as much as possible. There's always someone, again, that huddle. There's always someone that can't. They can't be in the situation that you're in. So how do you. How do you help out as much as possible? Because they. They come from every. They can come from any background, and at the end of the day, let's just all enjoy ourselves.

[49:01] BROOKE BARNES: Agreed. I hope you don't mind me saying, I noticed a couple of times you referred to yourself as a dumb jock. I'd like to encourage you not to. I think you're insightful and you have work ethic and a sense of civic responsibility. I hope not even just a small portion of joking. You feel there's a hint of truth to that? Because I think maybe we have a component of ourselves that's one way, but that doesn't define the person, and it certainly doesn't define you or the interaction I've had with you today.

[49:41] MATTHEW ROBERSON: I appreciate it. It's just one of those things that I say it twofold. So, look, I'm just as simple as anyone else around here. If you can talk to a dumb jock, you can talk to anyone, is the way I would look at it. And, look, I'm just an average guy, and we're all trying to do the same thing. I feel like at the end of the day, we're all trying to help each other out. We're all trying to make sure this place is a little bit better.

[50:08] BROOKE BARNES: Sorry to go all mom on you there, but you know, mom, mom can't let you talk that way about yourself.

[50:17] MATTHEW ROBERSON: It's a funky sales technique, but, no, I appreciate it.

[50:24] BROOKE BARNES: We have to do our closing question now. Justin is looking anxious. What is something you'll take from this experience?

[50:35] MATTHEW ROBERSON: So there is something that we both can find common ground on, whether it's kids, whether it's politics, whether it's what's going on in the neighborhood. There's a common ground in everything that we do, and whether or not we have a platform to do it, we should be able to figure it out and. And have a conversation. Don't be scared to have a conversation with somebody and talk to those people about what's going on. It just. It was very. It was awesome to, first of all, have a conversation with you. I get to know you. I learned that we only live a few miles away, so that's. That's great as well, too. Hopefully, we run into each other soon. But also, yeah, you know, it's. We. We all have a common thing. Let's connect on it.

[51:31] BROOKE BARNES: It really was. And I can say that I really appreciated the opportunity to have a candid conversation where I felt comfortable if I said something that might upset you or bother you, we could tell each other in a way that is respectful. And it felt like the most honest conversation I'd had in a while.

[51:59] MATTHEW ROBERSON: Same.

[52:00] BROOKE BARNES: And I try to be an honest person, but I feel like when I meet Sarah at the drop off at the elementary school, I feel like we're having these conversations where we're going through the motion, where we're talking at each other, nothing to each other, just kind of small talk. And this felt like a bit more, and that was valuable to me.

[52:24] MATTHEW ROBERSON: Awesome.

[52:27] BROOKE BARNES: And thank you so much for joining today, and it really was lovely meeting you. And I'm on the football field. Come on by. Bring the kids. Justin. You two.

[52:45] MATTHEW ROBERSON: Yes. Thank you for the time. It was great meeting you. I think this was very beneficial, and it sounds like. Yeah, I gotta. I gotta follow you soon. We're heading to a soccer field, so that's the only thing that you can do at three years old right now. But I'm sure we'll see you on this. On a field here soon or in the grocery store. And again, thanks for everything. This was just awesome.

[53:07] BROOKE BARNES: Thank you. Have a great afternoon.

[53:09] MATTHEW ROBERSON: You too. Thank you.