Rachel Hewitt and Eric Whiteside

00:06 Hi, my name is Eric Whiteside. I'm 43 years old today on February 10th 2008 in Charlotte, North Carolina where I live and I am going to be talking today interviewing and talking to my wife Rachel to it. And I am Rachel Hewitt. I am 55 years old and today is February 10th 2008. We are in Charlotte North Carolina at the downtown branch of the public library, and I am going to be interviewing my husband Eric Whiteside.

00:42 So early in our relationship one of the things I discovered about Rachel when we first started dating was in addition to having, you know, several things in common was an interesting one because it has a personal or a real strong person connection to me was it both of our fathers were on Pilots of small planes, they both flew small planes. And so what I'd like to do is I want to interview Rachel about her experiences with her father and flying growing up in and then shutting she's going to ask me some questions about well, we'll see what happens. We'll just go so, why did your father Learn to Fly well is really interesting because my father grew up at in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina and so he was a Beach Boys Beach band up when he joined the military during World War II or the very end of World War II. He wanted to be a pilot he'd always wanted to fly and that he got his got his wings and then the war was over.

01:42 I never actually had to fly in battle, but that he remained in the service and and he continued to want to fly and in the 60s mid to early 60s. He became he became part owner of a small single-engine Cessna and that enabled him to just fly for pleasure and fly for business as well.

02:11 And so he learn to fly in the service. Can I decline the service did he choose that branch of service? Because he wanted to fly and I have no idea what the answer is that I would assume said. Okay. I know you told me just a little about this but you used to fly by me like the whole family would fly with your dad. Yeah, he was always looking for opportunities to decide when we got the fly with him a lot. Where did you guys go? Well, one of the one of the places from the primary in destinations was to fly to Myrtle Beach to visit his parents. So we would hop in the plane on Christmas Day and fly down to Myrtle Beach and spend the day and then fly back but and oftentimes to we had a growing up a small beach cottage at Ocean Isle and as soon as they built a dirt airstrip, we reply to a lot of the beach and spend a weekend there or a day there or week there how much every time we needed to?

03:11 Can I just spend a lot of times he would lie down there to just do some maintenance on the house used to land on a dirt airstrip.

03:22 A lot of times there were times. We would land not just on a dirt airstrip and we landing on a real paved airstrip was a luxury oftentimes with a small plane, but we landed on doordash dressed as for those are nice but there were times we were we would be flying in our our father would say and just keep your eyes peeled for some place to land if we need to land. So we we had an occasion where we landed in a field once as well, how how old were you when you start remembering flying with your father too? And I guess like when was the last time you flew or roughly how old were you then? You know these days. My memory isn't isn't great. But I just it seems to me that I was 12.

04:10 13 and one of the last times I flew with him was one of my most memorable occasions and I was I was a senior in college. It was a really rough time in my life at the time. I had had a big argument and broken up with my boyfriend and I went to school about 30 miles from my home. And so I just broke up with my boyfriend on a Thursday night and drove home and walked in the house and sat down on the couch and my parents looked at each other and they knew not to to ask me what was going on in later on that evening. My father just turned around as I was going up to my bedroom and said did someone break my little girl's heart and I just burst into tears. He said I was going to go to the beach tomorrow. Do you want to go with me? And so we both flew we split at the beach and spent the weekend there? And that was that's one of my favorite memories of my father.

05:06 How long was the flight from you know, I think if I remember correctly, it was about a 3-hour drive time and which made it about an hour flight time and that included driving to Raleigh airport in and landing at the at the little dirt strip at the beach and we kept an old we kept an old Comet. I don't know if it's a 62, there's something some old black car that my father would carry the battery with him in the back of the plane and what he did was he would hook the battery up at at the comment and we would drive to the cottage from there. So he kept at the airstrip.

05:50 Do you remember the it wasn't always the same plane? Yes. Yes. That's a good question. He had this it was a single-engine Cessna and he said he was a co-owner with an aerial photographer and it had six seats for them were about the size of being a Volkswagen and V and succeed or just tiny little seats in the back and the things that were that was most memorable to me was the fact that half of it was owned by an aerial photographer and consequently the stick that I always said in had this little round by the window at a little round door that you could open up so he could stick the camera out and it wouldn't be clouded by glass or plexiglass. I guess. That's what it was.

06:40 Do I know when I would go on trips with my with my family like him and now the younger sister there was always you know the growing up.

06:52 Preteens there's always the the competition of you know me to clean the car for an hour or two sister you want like poke and fight and you know how that work is I know you mean you have a little bit larger family there were five of you in this plane would like flying for an hour to do you have like family squabbles was there in about the us being balanced in the plane. So I always sit behind my father and I think my brother always with his co-pilot and my younger sister set beside me in my mother's unfortunately set behind my younger sister and I'm she was stuck in the back which was okay because she wasn't a big fan of flying and while we were flying my father always assigned some sort of Duty to us some be on the lookout for other plane. So we don't run into other planes or be on the lookout for a field we can land in or

07:52 He would talk to my brother because my brother actually had an interest in flying and he would talk to my brother about what he was doing. Where is my sister and I were like in with it only being such a brief. Of time. I'm in an hour. That's a long time to be in a plane. We never felt really uncomfortable. I don't recall us arguing and it was it's easy to argue in the car, but it's a little more death-defying when you're arguing in a plane. So I'm so done and I was wondering about your experiences with there were moments Andolini's flights for you were scared. I mean the old fashioned to probably one of the first flights ever took one of the things my father did even though he had his instrument rating which meant that he could fly just buy a

08:52 4 months he never flew if there was cloud coverage. He never flew at night. He was very concerned about being opposed to the ground. So they're often times we would plan on going someplace in the plane. And at the last minute we'd have to cancel and one of our my first flights with him. I think we were going to Myrtle Beach. I don't remember it very, well. You think I would but we a thunderstorm came up very very quickly and we had to land and we actually ended up Landing in some Farmer's field and one of his relatives his brother or somebody had to drive out and pick us up and we were still a few hours away from our final destination. So that was while I was frightened. I had a lot of faith nothing was going to happen because my father he was king of the world he could do everything.

09:49 What did you take off from the field? I don't remember. I'm sure we did but I don't remember. I don't remember giving all the time. You spent flying and years. Your dad was flying you were fine with your dad. Did you ever think must be something maybe I would want to pick up or learn how to do I had no interest in it whatsoever. I didn't want the responsibility. It seems like a lot of little dials and buttons that you had to push and pay attention to and I wasn't

10:32 My father and I were similar similar types, but I wasn't as mechanically oriented is is he and my brother were and that I was just barely hanging on learning the traffic car. I mean that was that was enough for me that tackling that and being sufficient it that was just felt like all I needed to do much less get off the ground and fly around in the ear.

10:58 So what was the what was the worst experience you ever had an appointment? I think that was the worst experience. I mean that that one landing and in itself, it wasn't it wasn't all that bad. It ended well, and I don't have this horrifying memory of it. It's never anything that I have a little bit of background knowledge of flying so I don't have a fear of flying but that was probably the worst experience that you can also say that even that one time going down to the beach with my father and call it. Was that was kind of a traumatic experience cuz I was emotionally emotionally scarred at the time but but he put a bandaid on it so that I came away thinking of that was a pretty good thing.

11:46 You know, what a butt About You by me now. We've covered my flying experience. Let's let's let me ask you some questions right out for him. Cuz I know that you know, this is as you said one of the first things we realized the first time we ever went out was that we both had had this experience of flying and not too many people can say that and I know that you'd mention your father's experience was somewhat different. Why did he fly? Do you know Dad was

12:23 Dad was always looking for a for kind of the next not narrowly challenges, but the next kind of thing. He my dad was my dad was an individualist. I guess it is one way to think about it in that. He did not amuse a Salesman by nature. And those are a lot of his job had to do until he was good with people but he didn't like he like answering to a boss who doesn't like having somebody tell him what to do. He didn't like that kind of thing which is why we know we move seven times before I was in 10th Grade because you was always getting new jobs. And so he was always, you know, and he wanted to experience life away. And what I meant for him was was trying new stuff. So I mean, we you know what, he he persuaded me like to learn to scuba dive. I didn't know I want to learn to scuba dive and he did and he really, you know when I was

13:23 12 nearly worked on me and persuaded me to take lessons with him and you know and get certified in and go diving and I think the line was something it was very similar. I mean, I think you just for him. It represented a a way to start of

13:41 Take advantage of the middle-class background we had in that, you know, we had sufficient money that he could take lessons to learn to fly as well as them for him to get out of being a kind of middle-class. Do you know average everyday person? He wasn't happy just mowing the lawn and paint the fence. So, you know, it was something that he always I mean, I remember, you know him and talking about it long before you start taking lessons and blessings and that went on for quite some time, you know, cuz it was it was an expensive for the hobby to take the lessons, you know when I was 12

14:16 14 you know many of those youths probably 1415 for 14 years old or so, we got certified right around the time of the year. I turned sixteen, you know, and it was just a was it was he wanted to experience life and that was you going to be able to get up there and fly was was a way for him to get outside of I think sort of the confines that that he he grown up and knowing your mother. Did she have any objections or did his family had his his parents or your mother's parents have any objections to him doing this, but I've had time

15:03 I did her dad had already established himself as kind of a family Maverick or the person was going to do and you just didn't I ask I mean my mom, you know my mom. I don't know. I don't know what the arrangement was between my mom and my dad. I know that there was there was a kind of arrangement. I never heard my mother say anything about life rehab in my father's driving ever just Bauer close. However fast I was slow whatever was happening. She didn't say nothing about it, you know when she was in the front seat with him and I just never heard a word and since I've asked Mom much later on in life. If it was there some kind of knew she said yeah, there was a kind of but she didn't explain the arrangement. And so I think Dad was the kind of person that they they trust ID.

15:54 He was not a reckless person by any stretch when he was he was he was a very careful person in many ways, but he was not I think I'm like your father. He was not a mechanical person. He was not was not his forte mean in play basic things. But but it was but they kind of knew. I mean we were the family that left of all my mom's siblings. We're the ones that moved away or they got married in fact, you know, and so while I was born in my mom's Hometown, you know, I've never lived there since I was three and that's all we want from Alton to st. Louis, Missouri to Walled Lake, Michigan to Washington DC to Tampa, Florida to Sarasota to where were you living when your father learn to fly from Sarasota outside of Sarasota a little town called Nokomis Florida actually technically and he was taking lessons out of Nokomis is a little tiny.

16:53 You say suburb me out of a little bit larger, They're both tiny towns of Venice, Florida and Venice had a I had a airport at over what was called dinner Regional Airport. And so it had paved runways but it did not have a control tower and Dad we could not like Yuri. Um, we just cannot afford to even lie part of a plane so Dad entered into a co-op kind of arrangement where you know, He Paid Dues and then scheduling Whitney Lakewood schedule who got the fly-wing who has find the same plane every time they had I think they had two planes. They were both Cessna 172 that were both four-seater single-engine 4 seater planes and dad had the basic pilot's license. He didn't have his instrument rating. I know he talked about wanting to get his instrument rating, but you had to I think require a certain

17:53 Hours in the plane and before you could start going to school or doing whatever you have to do to strictly for pleasure pleasure in and some business. I mean, I know that he know he was at the Southpoint time. He was a self-employed essentially life insurance salesman. He specialized in pension plans and had his own businesses went off at 7 and would fly he had started that business in Tampa, Florida and we move down to McComas you opened up a little office in in Venice. There's a guy that he kind of did some business with in Tampa. So occasionally Seafood Tampa because he did pension plans and specialized in like doctors and lawyers, you know, he would occasion get clients as far as like Jacksonville Florida or inventory. There were there were a couple long trips that he took via playing longer in the sense of what have been 7 hours by car.

18:53 Find her something and he would fly by himself, please. Yeah, he flew.

19:00 Most of flying he did was by himself as a family you've never gotten the bedroom.

19:12 I want to say

19:15 I don't think so, but I don't I don't think no I can't I'm starting my mother never did somewhere and I can't imagine dad not trying to convince mom to get the plane and go somewhere but I don't I don't remember Lisa ever ever doing that and remember Lisa ever and Lisa was how much sugar leases for your by ISIS releases for years younger than I am. So you don't have to do you did you ever fly with your father?

19:51 Do you have any specific memories of flying with your father?

19:55 Have

19:57 I want to say that I had been in the plane with him once just hang on tight for a short flight. I think it's like, you know, just kind of like a circle Venice kind of get up in the air show up, you know kind of flight. I think we did one of those but the he the only flight that I really remember is is the last flight that I have to check with Dad and we we

20:27 We flew he had a business engagement. I was 16 years old and it was December and he had a business engagement in Tampa. And it just so happened that I was also we didn't move to Venice, Florida to Nokomis remove Nokomis in. Summer.

20:45 Well now I take the back we moved in. We move in early September. I just started 10th grade in Tampa. And then we removed and I was also though just finishing up orthodonture work. I was I had the remnants of my braces on or I had one last century. I'd like one or two last orthodontist appointment and we just kept the guy that we had in Tampa is we have modified a lot of friends. I was in 10th Grade it was you know, it was me and we have a lot of pain still was not uncommon for us to drive to Tampa. But this pretty good time in December and dad wanted to fly and impart I think was Lil Bit showing off. It was December 22nd and my dad's family his parents and his sister and her husband and her brother were coming to visit us for Christmas. And so we were going to fly to Tampa take care of the business orthodontist appointment to buy in the plane fly to Sarasota, which had a you know was an international

21:45 Tiger airport and pick up my Uncle Mark who was flying into Sarasota and then we're going to fly as it was about 20-25 minutes flight from Sarasota airport to Venice Airport, and we're going to fly back to Venice. So that's just what we did and how many we picked up Mark at the airport. We got a little early and by the time it was later in the evening sun was going down.

22:10 And we took off, you know from the Sarasota airport. And I remember I remember taking off his course now in the back seat of the low for Cedar and you know being I was 6 ft 2 6 3 at the time so long as I get a kind of turn myself sideways and kind of put my legs on the seat next to medium skin stretch a little bit and let me do I understand you correctly that you had that you've flown down with your father because you had some doctors appointment or were you just there along for the ride out of school and right before Christmas boat. I mean one of the

22:50 I did have an orthodontist appointment and he had this new job. So we get the phone itself like North Hill from Venice. We take off of venison from straight to Tampa. And that was I mean, I remember the fight cuz you know, you're you as you know, I'd Your Love Enough you can your dad saying look for places to land. Right? I mean you can see the landscape as you're going over it and it was was really fascinating to me and I was really taken with that. This was something that I really loved about. My father was he would often times? I mean growing up he would pull me out of school. Sometimes it take me on business trips with him and we would just go have a crystal Adventures, you know, just the two of us overnight trips and stuff and I remember that and so it was you but I was out of school for Christmas break your eye and it was you know, he had it was like two birds with one stone kind of thing and we got to pick up Mark from the Sarasota Airport, you know, make a big splash because Dad had just been officially licensed. I think that spring or or

23:50 Summer so he you know, that was the kind of news of the family was dad was now pilot. So we and I remember taking off picking up Mark up, you know, when we're this little plain text Athena we taxied up to the gate and there's this big, you know, 727 the gate next to us. I thought that was not very impressive and cool and we take back off in the plane go to take off to go to fly from Sarasota to Venice Airport. And I remember looking out my window at the Moon week. I just got above there's a low layer of clouds. We just got out of the clouds and the moon was there when I wasn't full but it was a big moon in real bright and clear and I just need a drone of the engine and I fell asleep and when I woke up I was in the hospital what happened?

24:43 Apparently and I don't know and the plane and crashed we had crashed about a quarter mile from the Venice Airport. We crashed in a field.

24:56 New York still vacant field across the street from a row of houses and apparently what it happen is when the plane crashed you don't think there was somebody that wanted a house is hurted and then came running out of the plane and ran over to it and I am told that it was pretty apparent that my father and my uncle Mark we're not alive at that point, but you saw me in the backseat but I'm strapped in by the seat belt and he died never met him. I never met the man. He pulled me out of the plane cuz he's a fireman. I don't know what the damage look like. I've seen the picture that was in the newspaper of the right playing but he pulled me out of the plane and then I guess his wife or somebody called for an ambulance. They came and picked me up and you know, and I'm done.

25:48 You took your dad and then then started to get in touch with my family and I am but when I woke up, it was actually the 23rd. So in the next day or the next day, apparently this again, I mean I was in the hospital and

26:07 They told me later that I had actually kind of was seemed cognizant prior to that. But when they would ask me where I was and I kind of I Didn't Know I kept saying I was in the plane or but I remember waking up and with my mom sort of right there on my side and my bedtime stretched out, you know, when she was in tears when she told me what happened to the plane that crashed and then Dad had died and that I was at the hospital.

26:40 General in that so I was in the hospital for a total of my day was

26:48 The eight days I came on New Year's Eve. What kind of injuries did you have?

26:54 I had 15 stitches in my head and I had a scar on my elbow that has never some kind of I don't know what caused it, but this car has never gone away and I had they were mainly concerned that I had a really abnormally high pulse rate was that I was in the Intensive Care Ward when I woke when I came to and my pulse rate was it about 160. I'm just laying there and which has well over twice normal until they were real concerned about what the heart rate.

27:33 But they couldn't do they wanted to stabilize me until they thought also they thought I had a couple of cracked ribs and and some other things that turned out not to be the case and then they they they ran some preliminary x-rays the ribs are fine. The head was fine and everything is going fine. He's over his heart rate and and so they moved me after a day and a half in intensive care for days and

28:00 They are they were able to do some more tests and what they thought was happening is it what is there's a valve on the top of the heart that lets blood out and close as much but I'm close with each beat of the heart felt about was not closing properly in the blood would get in cause the heart to enlarge penile rupture and that would be bad. So they were you know talking to my mom apparently this time. I believe I'm talking to me about open heart surgery and but they wanted to give me a little more stable. The pulse rate was coming down a little bit. 140 now, I think after about four or five days and do some more extensive tests. They wanted to run up like a sonar scan of my heart. I did that when they did that which was the eighth say I was in the hospital. I was in a kind of regular care at this point, you know able to kind of walk around a little bit and that kind of thing it showed that actually everything is okay.

29:00 I never found out what caused the rapid heart never ever find out. What caused the rapid heartbeat I was down to about 1:20 and they just said just take it easy walk. You know, I mean, I've been a basketball player and you know pretty active, you know as a child and in that kind of thing, but dumb

29:22 You know was a you know what?

29:27 Mr. Me. I did I take me back to school actually the first day of classes on the New Year. I'm going down to where it was normal, but no idea whenever they were, you know, they were going to send off the results to a lab and Tallahassee and we never heard back anything so we can assume that no news is good news. Well, you said that course you didn't find out until the day late that the day after the the accident in the hospital. How did your mother how was she notified of the plane crash and how far away from your home was the actual plane crash the airport? The Venice Airport. We were attempting to land was probably 10 miles and

30:19 Mom was the notification was you know, it's one of those. Well, Mom, Mom was down the street at a friend's house. My sister had come home from babysitting the phone rang. She picked it up and it was actually a newspaper reporter wanting to talk to my mother about the crash was your sister. My sister would have been 12 but of course, but neither one of the swimming somehow, we've been notified prior to this and we had not and Lisa was actually technically the first person in my family to hear about it and you can see who others going to plane crash in your father's dead.

30:56 And she flipped out and it just so happened that the people that my mom was down visiting. We're really good friends of ours and that's really sore and because Mom wasn't, she had nowhere else to go and so she ran down there and check out the mom was there until mom your mother found out from your sister. I got on the phone, but his family was in Trent. Your father's family was in transit or my Uncle Mark who was in the plane, of course, what was Dad but my dad's parents and I suppose is one of the great ironies the whole story. My dad's parents had always been afraid of flying

31:38 And also they were driving down from Illinois, Illinois. And so they were in transit and

31:46 I don't think because I wasn't obviously at home when this happened.

31:51 I don't I don't think I found out until I got there. I think the decision was made not to tell them because they were in transit and as soon as that Tina, I would like a day later. It was a day later. And of course my mom's folks came down immediately flew down. And so you know while I was in the hospital a funeral for my father and envy know there was all kinds of decisions made it seem like that kind of kept me in the loop on them. But I was you not home for any of that and I just came home to you know house for relatives, except it was this occasion. Do you remember what it was like for you while you were in the hospital? I mean, do you remember what your feelings were then or how you proved it physically felt and I feel really weak I've ever feeling really weak and I remember feeling

32:48 It just seemed kind of surreal, you know, because you don't.

32:53 You not you you slept through the event the doctors told me later that that you know, if you're going to be an accident you either want to be asleep or drunk because that's when you're at your most relaxed and most able to withstand so much more that if you're conscious, you know you tighten up and that's when damage gets done. And so

33:12 You know, I mean I put down for what it does but it also means I don't have any visual memory like a big crash. I don't have any kind of sense of the event and you know, you go to sleep looking at the moon and this quiet drone in New Hope you're up in the air and you wake up in this white sterile room with funeral people hovering in tubes in and out of you and and it's just it seems like there's been some missed something in your life. And there's a there's a gap there and for a long time actually wrestle with that guy out. I mean, I I I really struggled with not having that sort of

33:50 Consciousness or fulfillment of what was there you know and

33:56 You never a mean obviously I'll never get it. I mean, I just had to make some kind of peace with that which is been tough, but

34:06 I think that I have I mean I couldn't write it down in a book a way to get over that but

34:12 Butter

34:14 But yeah, I don't remember you don't mean it just seems like a real event that you come back to this house and it's full of people. But gradually they all go away to and then there's just three people in the house instead of four, you know, you're missing the family member and its was very it was very odd and then and just took a long time to release her to sing can you know?

34:37 Russell true that and

34:42 And you know, it's compounded of course that affect your 16 and you're a teenager and you got this twelve-year-old sister and you know me, of course no one ever writes a book on how to deal with death of a loved one, but you know me, there's no instruction manual for that but

34:57 You know when you're 16, and the file your father has been.

35:03 That such a great source of influence and love for you. I mean, it's just you know.

35:13 Like I said, the most memorable times of my life were spent with my father going on business trips and you know those kind of things and so, you know, you had this like this, but I think the other thing that

35:27 And my sister and I know we talked about this, you know them. Anyways, I kind of almost think I would have had it any other way because will not that I what I mean is that my father was the person that in our lives that said. Hey, let's go do this. Let's try this. Let's go out and take a chance on this lets, you know, what kind of pushing us to get out of a nobody like that for comfort zone and you know,

36:00 You take risks when you do that large or small when you get in the car when you get on the bike when you go somewhere. I mean you only did the plane you're taking risks and but I think what it did for us as it gave us something. I don't always practice it maybe my sister more so than I do but they gave us the impetus to say, you know, what life is short and sometimes shorter than you know, but that you need to season those opportunities, you know, you need to seize those moments when when I come up and when they don't come up you need to go make them moments when you step outside yourself an experienced things instead of just going through the motions of a kind of status quo life and the fact that he was taken doing something that he loved to do.

36:47 You know was

36:49 It's always a really powerful reminder of to me and I kind of a challenge for me is I you know.

36:56 Grow into adulthood Ant-Man adult don't feel like an adult but you know just to to do those things to take those chances like marrying you and was this one last question because I've always thought it was very interesting that we've flown a lot together. We flown on commercial flights together and you don't seem to have any fear at all of lying and you would think with an experienced this difficult or or horrendous that you would why it why is that

37:33 I think instead of

37:36 Instead of having that accident hold me back.

37:41 I I think I've done with it what I think Dad would have wanted to do and and that is it you can't you know, it's it's the thing is to add adjust yatish. I tell my students, you know that I'm kind of known for in that is the life is short and instead of having that be a fearful thing. It should be a Liberatore thing in the you say life is short. I'm going to seize these moments. I'm going to take advantage of these things. Have I fly or drive or ride my bike or you staying on a desk or waiting ready? Strange women wear bow ties or whatever. I want to take those chances because otherwise it's a you know, if it's a life only have flipped and then and I think that

38:26 That is the lesson of my father's life. I think in many many ways and that's what has you know, it is really affected the way I think Lisa and I my sister and I really tried to live our lives to to a large extent. So no no no fear of that. I mean that's just your time is up your time is up. You don't get to pick and choose. There's no sign over the door. It says walk to hear you're going to die. You know mean you you go and you go and you go and tell

38:52 You're not allowed to go anymore. I feel lucky to have to have met you and and be a part of that, too. So, thanks, honey.